Latest / Untraditionally Lala / BONUS: First Time Sex Stories

Transcript

BONUS: First Time Sex Stories · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hello, My Loves, Welcome back to the Give Them La
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: La Bonus episode. I'm super hyped today because Jessica gave
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: me free reign to what we'd be talking about, and
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: my mind just automatically went to sex.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: They're dead.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I'm like that thing I used to have. We should
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: talk about it. We should talk about the first time
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: I did it. And I want to know everyone else's
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: virginity stories because I just find them to be really
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: awkward and really fun and I really want to get that,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: like make my cheeks kind of warm and get a
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: little embarrassed love that.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear yours, because I don't think
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: I ever have.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Did you not read my book before I hired you?
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Was that a lie in the interview process?
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: I okay?
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: In the interview.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: My favorite thing is when people are like, I have
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: not read your book, and I'm like, I am not offended.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: I read my own mother hasn't read my book.
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: They're everywhere, though, What do you mean, Mom's no your book?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, scattered all over the house.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: It's a great read, and I'm not just saying that
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: it was an easy read. I read in two days, Shakra.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It was an easy read. But that's what I like,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I want.
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: We're not really in depth people.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Did we get a lot of people who felt free
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: enough to write in about their virginity experiences?
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, I will say I do see some darker ones. Dark. Well,
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: we understand that not everyone's you were if you had
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: a positive virginity experience, or even awkward or uncomfortable. But
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: like you, you know, we understand that not everyone is
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: blessed with a good first time story. But I think
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: in this bonus episode we'll focus on the lighter ones.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Yet that's solid.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Well, this is how I lost my virginity, beautiful you
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: in mind. The first time I ever touched a wiener
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: it was it scared me.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Same, it's scared me so much already.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And the way that I did it the red couch again,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: he stood in the basement.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I'm not kidding you that things covered and come come covered.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: And we gave it to the poor Mormon family behind us,
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: and they're just sitting on it right now as you.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Speak, covered in calm and shame. Yeah, this is a
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: strong start.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: To the.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: You're still enjoying the red couch.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's hear so, I'm I'm laying down. And by
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: the way, my boyfriend was all of five to seven
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: at the time, but he was like star football player whatever,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: So I let it slide. Yeah. I think it's called
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: a jersey chaser. But I was like laying. He was
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: on one side of the couch. It was like a
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: sectional and I had my head like towards his body
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: like this had. I put my hand back to touch it,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: and it felt small, smell, it felt.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: Very very out or in the pants it was out.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: It was out. I could never imagine just pulling it out.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And I'm sweating already.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: I am so mustache.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Was it soft or was it wrecked?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Felt a little bit of wrecked, and it was like
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: I was just getting ready for you. It felt like
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I was grabbing a cocktail, Wiener, and I was like,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: very small. I never need to touch it again.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Ever, when you did that with your hands, you'll see
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: in the video it looked like you were grabbing a cocktail, Wiener.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm humiliated. I'm so sorry. It's at picking a blanket. Yeah,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: did you touch I didn't see it. I didn't see it.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I only touched removed and then handed him.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: My goodness, you know it's bad just.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Like, let's not go there. But then I had like
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: a really fun losing my virginity experience different.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Oh good, oh, different one that you did not like.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: One that I know, small wiener man. I did not
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: want to lose my virginity to him.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Sure did you only touch his wiener once?
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Once? Never again? Never again?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: And it didn't even seem like a firm grasp ladies
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: and gentlemen, And it was I couldn't look at the.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Size of these hands. You better come back in. I'm
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: gonna put you to shame, like you could be packing
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: and once my hand gets near, it's like, sorry, buddy.
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: It yeah yeah, so do you imagine that in your pants?
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: What a bother bother?
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay. So so where I actually lost my virginity
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: was to this man who was really hot. His dad
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: looked like the rock, so he looked like the offspring
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: of the rock, right he was someone Yeah, and he
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: was a twin. I'm sure everyone's to know I'm talking
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: about after this, everyone in your town, everyone in my
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: town yard. Really But it was a great experience, so
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: good for him and he we went to his bedroom,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: but I don't know, he had like this weird thing
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: with like red because the lights were red. The condom
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: was red hot. It was hot like strawberry. It was
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: my first time. He like set the mood. I let
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: him know I will not be giving you a blow job. No,
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that was a really big turn on from
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: the jump. All the things that I'm not gonna.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Do just ready, and she's like, I'm not going to
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: do this, this or that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: What are we doing here?
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Right? So we do the deed. Lil Wayne's lollipop comes on.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: So that's what I'm being thrusted upon with listening to I.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: Know.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry Easton. Welcome to the give them allibi.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: He'll be able to share yours.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I don't want to hear it. I do and after
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: after you guys, because I didn't realize that the condom
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: was red. When he pulls it off, I see that
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it's red, and he goes, that's because of you, and
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, I'm like gushing blood like I'm dying, was
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: because of you. The reason because don't like your cherry
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: being poppable, Jessica. Don't make me explain any more than
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I have to in front of my broad So that's
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: why that would.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Have been a hot line though if he pulled the
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: condumn up and there was semen in there, and he
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: said that's because, well there was just because semen.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: That's why one wears a condom to make sure it
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: goes into that.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: But he said the red was because are you sure?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I bawled because you're embarrassed.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I think I just felt very emotional about the fact
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: that I had just done.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: The room.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: It makes me yeah, And so I went upstairs and
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: laid on the couch and watched Ratitude without him. Without him,
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: he smoked weed with his friends and then came up
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: and joined me, and I was like, he's such a
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: good guy.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: So he's just plowing in his room and Homie's sitting
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: in the bed. When he comes down, he's.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: You know, he said it too, you know, he's like.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: He was walking.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: I want to pretend that he didn't. I really liked him.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: We lasted a long time, did seventeen to twenty. He
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: was my first like real boy like him.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: I'm okay with the story.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: Oh that's really sweet. And then after that did you
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: continue to just Oh?
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: Then we were like, though she's told me worse stories,
• 7:35
  Speaker 6: she's telling herself that can I tell you, though, My
• 7:39
  Speaker 6: friend has a really cool virginity story.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: She was much older, meaning like twenty two, which I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: think is like it's older.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, it's a good age to a smart age.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: But I told her, I said, you need to be
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: careful because you've waited for so long that, like, just
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: speaking from experience, you get ached when you have sex
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: with somebody. Sure she lost her virginity to a very
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: well known actor.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Did she get attached?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I got a little attached.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: She did, got a little attached to get attached to
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: that man.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: I know, no another one in I mean.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: He still is. Yeah, that's okay.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah he likes some young It's fine.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a revolving door of ladies.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Jessica, you want to talk to us about yours, because
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: it's going to be Mine was something else?
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Mine was I don't know. I don't know. I didn't
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: like it was cute. It was with my boyfriend. I was.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: I was young. I wasn't like crazy young, but I
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: was young. I was a teen and.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Could you drive a car? Yeah? We even so fucking
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: whack right now. I was young. I was like a teen.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: I was like pretty young, Like what are you thirteen.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: What are we talking? You could drive something that would
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: drive a car. I could drive okay, good.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: However, in my town you could drive at fifteen. I
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: was driving the stick for sure, I know. Yeah, I
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: wasn't the stick only and it was in a tent.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: It was after a high school party. I had alcohol,
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: That's what it was. I had alcohol in my system,
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: and I feel like that's never because I'm just like, oh,
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: let's do it, and you don't really think about it.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: And then the next morning I was like, did we
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: and what was it?
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I don't really remember. It was fuzzy, but like, I
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: know I wanted it. I know he did, so that
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: was great. And he was like he wasn't. Oh, and
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: this was another thing. His girlfriend before me, she was
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: super pretty and they had done a lot of sexual stuff.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I can't remember if he's intimidating.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: Yes, so they had done a lot of sexual stuff.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: I don't think he had lost his virginity, but she
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: was very experienced. So then I felt like I had
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: already been with him for a few months. We hadn't
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: done anything too crazy, and I was like I almost
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: felt like obligated, Like you know, this is obviously not
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: the great greatest mindset. But I'm like, if I want
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: to like want to up her because I was competitive,
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I need to have sex with him, and so you did.
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: I did. However, after that, after the first like two
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: to three times, then it was fun. But I feel
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: like we were really trying to get into the rhythm.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: He like, I don't know, it was just like we weren't.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: The fact you said thrusting when you lost your virginity.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I do remember. I was like, you cannot move, like
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: it was almost like soaking of sorts because it hurts so.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Bad, choking sort.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I hate that he just put it in and sat
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: there with it.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: He just marinated, but he had to like, Okay, it
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: was like this ladies and gentlemen. It was like and
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: then I was like, I just took a couple of
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: breaths and then oh, okay, you could go in deeper. Okay,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: you could don't go in deeper.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: How big was this guy?
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: I mean, he was a decent He wasn't huge, but like.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: A cucumber the way you're making this.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: Su I know he wasn't a giant cucumber, but I
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: do remember I said, that's as far as you can
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: go and he's like, there's still like a little more and.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: Was a.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Base so funny.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: This podcast is fucked up.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: I'm starting to sy was your boyfriend and we were
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: together for like two three years.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: You know what's really hard about that is when they've
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: been with someone who's experience but you're young. You're sitting
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: there and you're like, well, we have to have sex.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: But then you realize like, oh, it's not just having sex,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Like I've got to like reverse cowgirl on this motherfucker,
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: and like, yes, it gets like a lot.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Did you know that when a guy's on the bottom
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: and a girl's on top, it's called cowgirl.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then reverse cowgirls.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: When you guys on bottom and the girls on top
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: it's called cowgirl yeah, and then reverse cowgirl when the
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: asses not know that.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: And then when the girl is laying on her you're sweet.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Missionary missionaries when you lay on your back.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I thought your legonary was just if whether
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: what like I thought it was face to face guy
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: on top or girl on top that it's basically no,
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I'm dead serious. Someone said cowgirl to me and I
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: was like, you mean reverse cowgirl and she was like no,
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: cowgirl like I was on top and I.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: Was like, you need to watch more porn.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: I know, I guess I don't love porn.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Well that's good.
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: I don't love it. I don't love it.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Am I allowed to ask?
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Don't call it?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Are you technically my employee?
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Right now?
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: What are our friends saying? Okay?
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Wait, Eastern story?
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Do I really mean?
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: I was dying to hear Eastern? How do you lose
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: your virginia? And did you come quick? Of course you
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: did have.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: Every time I have some feeling like it's the first time.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Really, stop saying that you're never going to get laid.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I never do. So what's the point?
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I feel like you don't try.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: I do not.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: No, you don't try.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Right now?
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: How how long did it take you to ejaculate in
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: your condom? Fingers crossed your I did.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Wear a condom, I don't know, probably like five ten minutes.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: I wasn't really like looking at a watch watch. I
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: was just oh my god, this is happening, this is great.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: Five ten minutes is not quick at all.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I think that's not it then, because you think it is.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was at a party in a random bedroom,
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: and then we went home were.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: You drinking, Yes, okay, went home to the red couch,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: well to the red couch, and the door didn't shut.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: All the way in the room, like the lock was broken.
• 13:35
  Speaker 4: I think I said this, and the door was barely creaked,
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: and then I looked back and it was creaked more.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: And I look at my phone, and my dad text me,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: he goes, you better not be doing what it looks
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: like you're doing.
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: You watch a story before that was was the loss
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: of the virginity?
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: But no, it was like the second time, like I
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: it was, I lost it at the party and then
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: we both went back, so I've already it was.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really positive You had sex twice in
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: one night?
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Did you?
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I just wanted to get going.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Did you splooge both times? I hate that word?
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: Really well yeah, so shock like yeah, he came.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Did you not have back to back with your boyfriend?
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Not the same night? No, I needed like slow.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: In high school?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Did I have sex twice the same night I lost
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: my virginity? No?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Just in general? In general?
• 14:25
  Speaker 5: Oh, of course I was so horny, like at Taylor's house. Yeah,
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: I'd slept with a girl in like the movie theater
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: we'd walk out and then I'd be horny in five
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: minutes and under yeah, like in his movie theater.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, beautiful, I think so that was yes, my dad,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: he was just hearing scene.
• 14:46
  Speaker 6: He chose to walk down to make sure his son
• 14:49
  Speaker 6: was okay at the car, the car's home.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: Okay. What are our friends saying? Okay?
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Lots of virginity stories stories okay, oh okay, So this
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: is what I put just so you know, how did
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: you lose your virginity? And or if you could go
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: back in time and change anything about that experience, what
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: would it be. Do you have anything to say to
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: your story?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: You would have picked a different girl? No, I thought
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: that mine was really fun and I was sober because
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I didn't drink at the time.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's nice. I would have waited until maybe a
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: little older, because I didn't know my body and I
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: was rushing through it and I was doing it for competition. However,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: I won. I love you so much, I love you
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: very naive and he was my boyfriend. But I wish
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I would have saved it for someone else. That's someone okay.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: But not until marriage? Right? Are people still doing that?
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: Could you imagine getting married and then sleeping with her
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: and be like, oh my gosh, she's a dead fish.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't imagine. It sounds horrible, But what.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: I think that's rare because I think like there was
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: a bacherette who was saving herself for marriage. You kind
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: of I'm not speaking for everyone, but a lot of
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: people do everything. So you're like dry humping. You can
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: tell their energy, you can see the way they would
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: like respectfully ride the dick, you know.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but what if he throws off your pH balance?
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: What if your chemistries are off, like the fluids just
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: don't flow.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I've never had that happen, and I've had sex with
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: hundreds and hundreds just kidding out, had sex with eleven people.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Just because a big whore.
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: At eighteen in the back of my boyfriend's car. I
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: feel like, I'm shocked none of us was in a car.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Don't you think that's common?
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because most people aren't allowed home.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, oh you're young, you're young. Yeah, doing it in
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: a car is hard to lose. The virginity already being
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: like I don't really know what I'm doing, yeah, and
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: then being in such a confined space.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: I know there's no leg placement.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: No, unless you got unless you lay the seats down,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: or you're going sixty on the highway.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Like you you on top of your man speed, I cannot.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: She's like, it's bart in a car. Yeah, when you're
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: going sixty.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Down the road, you're trying to see where you're going. Ma'am,
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: Well you should have been.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: Well that's alcohol for you.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Oh beautiful juicy.
• 17:24
  Speaker 7: Goosey oh No, on a trip talk about bombs on
• 17:30
  Speaker 7: a trampoline with a senior when I was a sophomore,
• 17:35
  Speaker 7: and then it sounds fun, but then she said, never
• 17:38
  Speaker 7: should have done it.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: No, tramps would be terrible, like a waterbed for sure.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: This woman that I know through someone else, But she
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: was really fun and very open about her sexual experiences,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: but they didn't feel like too much like shoved down
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: your throat. She would just kind of like talk about
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: her life and it was so hysterical. And she's got
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: this like sexy factor to her. She wears like glasses,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: but it's like hot librarian.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Do I know who this is?
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: Because I think I think you know exactly's hottest hot librarian.
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: And she used to be not sober. Now she's been
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: sober for quite some time. But she was standing in
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: her apartment building, like on her balcony, and she looked
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: down and saw, as she described, a large man, an
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: oversized man, and in her head she said, I have
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: to fuck him. She went through this phase of like
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I needed to fuck like little people, obese men. She
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: was like anybody and everything I had, like I would
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: wonder what it was like to fuck them. She also
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: randomly would walk up to men and slap them.
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: She liked doing, Okay, don't love this slap, but I
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: think that's so fun.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: So she screamed down, hey, come up to my apartment.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Was she fucked up?
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, oh she's sober. Now he comes up, he does, yeah,
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: of course she's hot, and he like. She's like, I
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: told him to like take his clothes off because I'm
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: gonna fuck you if that's okay with you, Like consent
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: very important. He gave it, and she said she had
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: to dig for it and find it. But she was
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: into it the whole thing. She was like, I was
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: into the whole thing. She was like, but once I
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: was on top, she said, it was a very hard
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: because it was very trampolineish.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: For waterbed of sorts.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: So no one, no one busted a nut, No one completed,
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: but I assume that similar guy.
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: I was just thinking, well, especially if.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: She's implementing the slaps. I don't know she went through.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: You know what if if she's if she's doing the slaps,
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: I'm I.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Forget, I'm having sex.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: I start fighting back, having organ right, yeah, yeah, I
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: start jiu jitsuing her ass right then again turns sexual
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: aggressive sexual. It would be a whole mess.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: It sounds like it was a mess. But I respect
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: her for trying to try.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I respect him being down upstairs. He's a man.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: Though. I was like, why are women yelling?
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Come fuck me? I think, all right, you know, it
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: is a little unfair.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: It sucks, like what timing. I never get it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: If there was a hot man, Lalla kent you're out
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: and about, there's a hot like ten out of ten,
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: just stunning.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: You're like, right now, am I pregnant?
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: No?
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: If it's right now, I'm pregnant.
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so not pregnant. This is a year, you've
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: already had the baby. You feel good about your body,
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: and he's out. You're at the grocery store and you're
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: just shopping. He goes you are stunning. I would really
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: love to have sex with you right now. I will
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: show you my I just got tested. I'm safe, I'm clean.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: But PA and I can work it.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: I just don't think anyone who's worth fucking or having
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: would ever approach me in the grocery store like that
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: and offer the clean STD. But if he did, But
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: if he did, is my mom home? No?
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: He wants to take you back to his house.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm getting okay.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Fine, he wants to go to your house and your
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: mom one's there, kids are gone, kids are gone, aren't there?
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: Sure, let's show so then he can go know where
• 21:35
  Speaker 4: you live and then come back and murder you there.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: Well, I think this is perfect scenario. He's not going
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: to murder me obviously, right. You need to the rules
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: of the game have to be clearly stated before you
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: offer the question.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, it's not fair that I.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Have a six pack my body back. No one's home,
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: but he could kill you like no, I'm good, thank.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: You, Okay, okay, okay, my handy d vibrater. Hey, that
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: that thing doesn't work.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: I had to change the vibrator drawer because my daughter
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: found it.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I hate this and put it in her mouth.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, they need to be a Yes, they
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: need to be above. I did hand them out. I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: got so many that I started handing them out as gifts.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, I got a vibrator gift. It's a great vibrator,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: by the way. I got a little one though.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Chipped like you from me.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you gave it to me. Actually know, Lisa gave
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: it to me.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: She said, we have.
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: I said, Lisa, do you have one? She said, I sure.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: She gave one to your roommates sister too Easton.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Oh good for her.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: All right, men, could you eat?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Do you not have a flashlight of sorts?
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: No, it's beautiful right and left?
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Oh ouch, you crust.
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm getting in there lighting candles. Alright, I could
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: get one out. Let's get the demons out of here.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: It's just a quick rubbin tug.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Baby.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Guys are sick, I like candle.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: You got to set the mood, baby, Okay, well, I
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: don't know because I kind.
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: Of guy, and do it? You come and then you're
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: like you guys are flower pedals candles.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: I feel very weird right now.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Do you ever watch porn and come and then regret
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: the porn?
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: You watch No, I heard it out.
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: I've heard that's a thing.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you gotta get it off the phone.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: That's like you get off on like self loathing kind
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: of No, it's like you want to get spicy and
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: push the boundaries. And I've heard from multiple men that
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: like they just like start looking up shit and get
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: into it and then they watch this porn that they're
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: like shock they're watching and when they get off to it,
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: and then afterwards they're like, what the.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Fuck am I watching?
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: That's why we call it coming to our senses.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, fun at oh at sixteen with my boyfriend
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: of three years, Even though he dumped me a week later,
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I don't regret it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: That guy's a piece of shit.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe maybe she was bad and
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: better and deserve No, I'm just kidding.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding. I'm kidd you know what. What do they say,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: My dad used to say that.
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Dad's like to say that.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: I've never heard that.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: I hope my parents don't listen to this episode. They'll
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: be so ashamed, Mom and dad.
• 24:14
  Speaker 4: I've heard a lot of people say hookers are cheaper
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: than getting married, though, so maybe.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: I'll choose that route. I don't know.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad always said if it flies, floats or
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: fox rent it. And he was a happily married man
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: who owned a boat. We weren't rich enough to own
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: a jet. But he only abided by one of those things.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: We hope.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: I don't want to know if he was on Ashley
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: Madison or not.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: I refuse the way. I got an update that that
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: is still a thriving website.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, girl, are you kidding me? Okay, who wouldn't want
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: to throw mahogany out the window? Fuck this marriage?
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: I don't want mahogany.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, it would Oh. I get okay with
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: my first and current boyfriend still together after ten years,
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: but I wish I had known it would be painful
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: and gross. I wonder what she means by gross, bloody
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: and no semen? I bet or bloody.
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: Well, she knows she's milking the cow. You're going to
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: get the milk, do you know that?
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Though I don't know if I knew everything about semen,
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I did not get this at my sex talk was
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: you know, might not have sex till you're married.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: My friend who lost her virginity to the cool big
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: guy literally just asked me the other day, did you
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: know that our bodies don't absorb all the come that
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: it can drip out of you? I'm like, yes, I
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: did know this.
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: I'm a weaking fossis.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: If you're thirty five, how did you not know this?
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: I can't you know what? You didn't know this? This
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: is where my mind goes. You didn't know this because
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: you practice save sex and I appreciate that until recently.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: Or maybe a swallower.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: It would be a big swallower. Open that throat right
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: on up.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: By the way, I will say this, since we're on
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: the topic of this, If you are fighting blemishes, semen
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: is a good spot treatment.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: A man told her that and she fell for it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: No, it actually does work.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: Are you serious? Have you tried it?
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah? I have not, and I no longer need it.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Do you have any extra sperm from the donor? Because
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: I would like to put that in my fridge to
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: use on my files.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: But I'd really appreciate if I could use them for
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: my future children and not very.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Very expensive.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, we have time for one more.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you guys, Sorry, this was fun. But there's
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: so many great stories. Oh, I think I talked to John.
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: I talked to the producers, and we're gonna start sharing screenshots,
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: so I'll share a few of these. Good Okay, Oh,
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: I actually waited until my wedding night I was twenty.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't necessarily change anything.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Twenty is very young to be getting married. I'm more
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: fixated on that.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I don't think she's drinking. I think she's maybe a
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: part of some church.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: Maybe my mom and dad got married in nineteen and twenty,
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: but they were going into the Air Force.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: Well maybe that's yours and strict Catholic. Catholic drink wine, right.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: My mom said she was at her wedding and she
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: was like sneaking up to the bar, and my grandpa
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: was like, we paid for the bar. You can have
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: a drink. It's your wedding. And she was like, okay, yeah.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Oh that's so fun. And they're probably still married.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: That Carl shouldn't say.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: It sounds like I'm happily married. It sounds like I
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: waited until I got married I was twenty and we're
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: still together.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, lots of great stories. A ton of cars, A
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: ton of cars, trucks. But that makes sense, That makes sense.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: You know what. However, however, you get the job done.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: Get a nut when you got to get a nut,
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: we're just all.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Scol else trying to get a nut.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Lala podcast, squirrels trying to get a nut.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: Just go home on this week.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Just thank you guys for listening to another episode of
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: the bonus episode of Give Them Ala Podcast. That was
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: a mouthful, but another bonus episode of the Give Them
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Alla podcast. Reminder, bonus episodes air on Monday's Video on
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: YouTube drop same day. Regular episodes of Give Them Laala
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: drop Wednesday, and those videos drop on YouTube Utah YouTube
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: on Fridays at nine am Pacific ten. I will catch
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: you guys on Wednesday