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102 — Confidence is Earned: Outworking Self-Doubt · Getting After It

• 0:00
  Brett: Confidence it's a word that gets thrown around a lot lately.
• 0:04
  Brett: What does it really mean?
• 0:06
  Brett: And, more importantly, how do you get it?
• 0:08
  Brett: Is it something that's an innate gift that you're born with, or is it something that you can build?
• 0:14
  Brett: Well, luckily, that's our topic for today, so without further ado, let's jump into it.
• 0:25
  Brett: Welcome back to the show, my friends.
• 0:27
  Brett: Today we are breaking it all down, and by all down I mean we're talking about confidence, and I think this might be one of the most important topics that I cover on this podcast.
• 0:39
  Brett: I'm sure that there will be multiple episodes about this later down the line, but confidence is something I've struggled with my entire life and I've been on this journey of trying to build it for myself, and it's been long, it's been hard, but it's starting to take note in my life by my actions, by how I'm living, and I'm starting to see my work going into something pays out in confidence.
• 1:07
  Brett: So if I'm prepared for a meeting, a race, a conversation with my wife, really anything like, I'm confident that I will be able to get it done because I've had to experience it.
• 1:16
  Brett: So confidence from Alex Hormozy isn't about shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by stacking undeniable proof that you are who you say you are.
• 1:27
  Brett: Let's dive into what it takes to truly outwork your own self-doubt.
• 1:31
  Brett: That's the only way that you can really do it.
• 1:33
  Brett: And I want to start with a question Again what is confidence?
• 1:36
  Brett: It's not arrogance and it's definitely not some magic feeling you wake up with one day.
• 1:42
  Brett: It takes time to build, like I've been mentioning, some magic feeling you wake up with one day.
• 1:45
  Brett: It takes time to build, like I've been mentioning, confidence is earned and it's the quiet certainty that comes from actually doing the work.
• 1:52
  Brett: Alex Ramosi put it perfectly.
• 1:57
  Brett: He says you don't become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but having an undeniable stack of proof that you are who you say you are.
• 2:00
  Brett: How many times have I said that quote on this podcast?
• 2:02
  Brett: The reason I keep bringing it up is because it is solid.
• 2:06
  Brett: That is a solid quote because it is the truth.
• 2:09
  Brett: You can shout affirmations in the mirror all you want.
• 2:13
  Brett: You can tell yourself that you're the best in the world, that you are going to crush it today and all these things, but what requires you to be the best in the world, what requires you to crush the day, is effort and action.
• 2:29
  Brett: Effort, anything you want to call it is.
• 2:31
  Brett: You have to get into the zone.
• 2:34
  Brett: You got to get in the zone and you got to start building that confidence for yourself.
• 2:37
  Brett: Let's uh, let's go down story time lane with Brett.
• 2:43
  Brett: All right, we're going to be talking about little seventh grade fat chubby Brett.
• 2:52
  Brett: I was a cool kid.
• 2:52
  Brett: I think I was a pretty cool kid, at least from my own standards, but didn't really have confidence.
• 3:01
  Brett: Early on I understood that I was maybe a little bit nerdy.
• 3:05
  Brett: I was the youngest one in my family, so I would get beat up by my brothers which shout out to them it sounds like a bad thing, but I learned a lot from them, so they're the best.
• 3:14
  Brett: But Chubby Little Brett, I would crush kids on Halo.
• 3:18
  Brett: You're looking at one of the top 500 players of Halo 3 right here in the US Back in seventh grade.
• 3:26
  Brett: Now I don't know if I can hang so well, but I could for sure do some 360 no scopes with a sniper.
• 3:31
  Brett: So that's pretty sick still.
• 3:33
  Brett: But I was this little nerd kid growing up and there's nothing wrong with that.
• 3:38
  Brett: Okay, I want to make that very clear because I'm still that same kid today, but back then I would read books, I'd build Lego sets, I'd play games, I'd nerd out on the most random things and I was this little nerdy kid, I was social, still, like my parents did a really great job at teaching me on how to approach people, how to talk with others, and it's, it's, uh, I think, something that's a good upbringing for me at least.
• 4:05
  Brett: There were times when I was isolated and just by myself and I think because of that I I didn't have the opportunity to really need to be confident.
• 4:15
  Brett: I didn't really need to be, because I was usually just by myself hanging out, like playing with my toys, or my brother would hang out with me and eventually, when I I got some friends, I would hang out with them a lot, but we'd all do the same nerdy stuff, like we'd still play games and build Lego sets, swim in the pool and pretend we're Star Wars characters, whatever, like it was fun.
• 4:34
  Brett: But it wasn't until I got into seventh grade actually.
• 4:38
  Brett: So I'm this little nerdy, chubby kid that I realized everyone's gaze was on me, like people were judging me on my appearance is the first time I ever noticed this in my life, and so when I went back to school shopping with my mom, I was like, well, I, I want to fit in with the cool kids, I better make sure my wardrobe reflects that, and so I'd get all the cool, random crap that I actually didn't like wearing.
• 4:59
  Brett: But I wanted to wear it so I could be cool and fit in.
• 5:04
  Brett: And I was so wrong.
• 5:04
  Brett: I was pretty much trying to be a chameleon with these, my classmates, and trying to fit in in that sense, but in all reality I was abandoning who I actually was, which is arguably one of the worst ways that you could build confidence.
• 5:20
  Brett: How are you going to be confident trying to portray an image that you're actually not?
• 5:24
  Brett: That's what I was doing.
• 5:27
  Brett: So at school I'd go and hang out with them at the lunch table like the popular kids quote unquote and I'd sit with them and never really had anything to contribute to the conversation, because they'd be talking about like, oh yeah, my mom got me Beats headphones and I'm like what the the hell are beats headphones?
• 5:43
  Brett: I don't know.
• 5:44
  Brett: I just got Apple's headphones.
• 5:47
  Brett: I just got some $9 headphones from Walmart.
• 5:50
  Brett: That's pretty sick.
• 5:51
  Brett: But like I don't know, I I never really fit in.
• 5:55
  Brett: And now I was trying to force myself into this and I still was this nerdy little kid all the way through junior high, like shout out to my wife, she somehow still married me.
• 6:10
  Brett: We had this show not a show, but it was like a school, one of those school broadcasts and we called it hurricane watch.
• 6:13
  Brett: And I was one of the guys on hurricane watch.
• 6:14
  Brett: I would you know.
• 6:16
  Brett: It was one of the guys that would tell you what the events are.
• 6:19
  Brett: We do skits on hurricane watch.
• 6:20
  Brett: I was a nerd, I was part of improv club.
• 6:21
  Brett: That was cool, that was fun.
• 6:22
  Brett: We'd do skits on Hurricane Watch.
• 6:22
  Brett: I was a nerd, I was part of improv club.
• 6:23
  Brett: That was cool, that was fun.
• 6:25
  Brett: I forgot about that.
• 6:27
  Brett: Our name was Bats in the Attic.
• 6:28
  Brett: That's pretty cool.
• 6:29
  Brett: But shout out to Michael Moreno and Taylor Hamill.
• 6:35
  Brett: They were on my team.
• 6:36
  Brett: If you know who you are, shout out to you guys.
• 6:41
  Brett: But yeah, so I was always trying to do things and trying to do things that I wasn't necessarily comfortable with, but I was trying to prove myself that I was some cool kid that I actually wasn't.
• 6:56
  Brett: And I kind of made a shift when I saw my brothers.
• 7:00
  Brett: Again, shout out to them, but I saw them, you know, doing sports, playing sports, and they both played volleyball.
• 7:07
  Brett: My brother Blake he's the one that actually got into it first and then drew him and his team one state in Arizona and I just I always saw them going to practice and trying to work towards something and I thought it was always cool Like my brother Blake would come home from practice all sweaty and I was like what was that guy doing?
• 7:23
  Brett: Like that's pretty cool, and I kind of wanted to experience that.
• 7:27
  Brett: So in seventh grade I actually I signed up for volleyball and I was not good.
• 7:32
  Brett: I was again a chubby little kid.
• 7:35
  Brett: But in order to become an athlete I needed to step on the court at least one time.
• 7:39
  Brett: At least one time just to show myself I could do it and then see where it went from there.
• 7:44
  Brett: And there were times when my coaches would tell me that I was bad at my my hit or my serve, needed some work and like all these little things right, and sometimes I would take it as wow, they must really not like me If they keep giving me this criticism and all this stuff to tell me to play better.
• 8:03
  Brett: But looking back now, they were only trying to coach me to become the best that I could be.
• 8:08
  Brett: They saw the potential in me, but taking that first step onto the volleyball court helped me understand that confidence comes from action.
• 8:17
  Brett: I'm not saying I understood that right away.
• 8:20
  Brett: It didn't come until high school when I started actually feeling confident in my abilities to play the game, to play the sport, to go up and block someone when they're grinding up for a hit, and I was able to just to have confidence that my practice would reflect in game time.
• 8:36
  Brett: It was the first example in my life where I actually realized that that was the key and confidence is built through action, not empty words, and that's what I'm trying to say here is like I had to develop that in myself at the beginning.
• 8:49
  Brett: That's what I'm trying to say here is like I had to develop that in myself at the beginning, like I had to trust that my coaches had the best intentions for me.
• 8:58
  Brett: I had the best intentions for myself and if I was working hard then I would become a better player and I had to hold onto that hope.
• 9:02
  Brett: And yes, that is the case.
• 9:04
  Brett: Every year I would get a little bit better and better and eventually, when I was a sophomore, I was on varsity and it was just interesting seeing the direct correlation between how much effort I was willing to put into the results that came from that and I was like, hey, you know what?
• 9:22
  Brett: I'm confident that I can get the serve over the net and potentially get an ace on these guys.
• 9:27
  Brett: I'm going to get one of those bad boys, I'm going to school them and then, like, when I get set for a hit, I'd be like all right, the practice has reflected, I'm going to crush this ball and smack down in the middle of the court.
• 9:41
  Brett: And the same thing goes for running.
• 9:44
  Brett: The same thing goes for my job in sales.
• 9:47
  Brett: The more repetitions you put in, the more at-bats you have, the better you will become.
• 9:54
  Brett: You just have to understand that it is a process to get to the part or to get to the place where you are thriving, and then you have confidence that you can do hard things.
• 10:07
  Brett: One thing that I love it's a quote from David Senra, who hosts the Founders Podcast.
• 10:14
  Brett: It's a great podcast.
• 10:16
  Brett: If you haven't listened to it, go listen to it.
• 10:18
  Brett: But he says belief comes before ability, and I fully agree with that.
• 10:24
  Brett: You have to actually believe that you can go and do something difficult and that the results will come eventually.
• 10:32
  Brett: But it comes from belief.
• 10:35
  Brett: In the beginning I had to believe firsthand that I was going to be able to run a sub-three marathon last February, and I had to believe that I was going to be able to run an ultra marathon.
• 10:45
  Brett: And then the training up to those points reflected that belief.
• 10:50
  Brett: And since I knew I was going to run a sub three, I practiced and I trained like I was same with the ultra and same with every other race.
• 11:00
  Brett: I do same with this podcast, like the more repetitions I do the better it becomes, and I'm getting more confident in speaking to you all and telling you my thoughts, because at the beginning you can go listen to it.
• 11:13
  Brett: It's a little rough.
• 11:14
  Brett: I was not this person who's telling you these things that I have seen work in my life, that I know can work in yours, and you just have to believe that that's the case.
• 11:25
  Brett: But there has to be action behind it.
• 11:27
  Brett: So belief is the first step, but then take action.
• 11:29
  Brett: Don't let that sit on the case.
• 11:29
  Brett: But there has to be action behind it.
• 11:30
  Brett: So belief is the first step, but then take action.
• 11:31
  Brett: Don't let that sit on the shelf.
• 11:33
  Brett: You have to move fast.
• 11:37
  Brett: So here's what I'm going to ask you when are you seeking confidence without putting in the work.
• 11:42
  Brett: What's one area where action can replace hesitation?
• 11:46
  Brett: It's important to journal.
• 11:49
  Brett: It's important to journal.
• 11:50
  Brett: It's important to be self-aware of your thoughts and to understand how your thinking works, and that way you can sit down and write your answers out to these type of questions, like is there a place that you're seeking confidence without putting in the work to do so?
• 12:08
  Brett: Like, maybe you want to be a little bit more confident in your job.
• 12:11
  Brett: Does your work reflect that?
• 12:13
  Brett: You want to be a better student.
• 12:16
  Brett: You want to learn more.
• 12:17
  Brett: You want to get better at that.
• 12:18
  Brett: Does your work reflect it?
• 12:20
  Brett: You want to be confident in what you know?
• 12:21
  Brett: You have to understand that confidence comes from action.
• 12:28
  Brett: That confidence comes from action.
• 12:34
  Brett: Now, I don't want to just shoot affirmations in the foot, because I think that there is a place for them.
• 12:36
  Brett: You shouldn't have negative self-talk, like you shouldn't be beating yourself up all the time.
• 12:40
  Brett: I was a victim of that for many years, where the littlest thing that would happen in my day would ruin my day and I'd spiral into all these crazy thoughts and emotions and kind of embarrassing.
• 12:54
  Brett: But it's because I was pretty negative on myself and so that's what I'm trying to say with affirmations is there is a place for them, like you shouldn't be beating yourself up and I think the affirmations you should be telling yourself is hey, at least I'm trying, I'm doing my best, or I wasn't here before, this is where I'm at now, I'm getting better.
• 13:13
  Brett: If it's making notes of progress like that, I don't think it's a bad thing, as long as there's action behind those affirmations.
• 13:22
  Brett: If you're just telling yourself oh man, I'm overweight, I need to lose some weight, but my body's beautiful, maybe, but is it healthy, I don't know?
• 13:34
  Brett: Another good question I might get some heat for that.
• 13:37
  Brett: But if you're overweight, I don't think you're healthy.
• 13:39
  Brett: That's just my opinion and many scientists' opinion.
• 13:43
  Brett: Confidence doesn't grow from talking about what you're going to do.
• 13:45
  Brett: It grows when you actually do it.
• 13:46
  Brett: It's about creating that evidence, that about what you're going to do.
• 13:48
  Brett: It grows when you actually do it.
• 13:49
  Brett: It's about creating that evidence, that proof that you're capable.
• 13:52
  Brett: And for me, every major goal, whether it's running a marathon or launching a podcast, it has followed this same formula do the work, stack the proof, build the belief.
• 14:03
  Brett: So once you have that belief, you build around it.
• 14:06
  Brett: With your action, you stack up proof.
• 14:10
  Brett: Data tells a story.
• 14:11
  Brett: I love data.
• 14:12
  Brett: My wife always makes fun of me because I love data.
• 14:15
  Brett: It tells the truth, numbers never lie and the same goes for you, which is why you can consider journaling a form of data, because when you write down, you're pretty much documenting your journey, you're documenting your thoughts and that is the data of your mind, so you can look back and see where you were at a month ago, where you were at two months ago, a year ago, and understand if you are making progress or not.
• 14:40
  Brett: But you have to be honest in that journal and you have to really believe that what you're writing down is going to be reflected upon.
• 14:51
  Brett: If you write down and don't go back to it, then you're just writing to get busy and you might learn a few things, you might have your thoughts cleared up a little bit if you do that.
• 15:01
  Brett: But I think the best way that you can get better on a consistent basis is by getting the data out there on a regular basis and then going back and reflecting on it.
• 15:12
  Brett: And I stopped doing this.
• 15:14
  Brett: But I used to have a running log, just because everything's digital now.
• 15:17
  Brett: But I used to have a running log where I would have a notebook and every single day I would track my progress and I did it for about 25 weeks or so it was during my ultra training and everything like that.
• 15:28
  Brett: But whenever I felt discouraged I would go back to week one, go back to week two and then I'd flip to where I was and be like, okay, nope, I'm okay, I'm making progress.
• 15:37
  Brett: And then I'd feel confident going forward and the same thing can happen to you and that just helps solidify that belief in yourself.
• 15:46
  Brett: So make sure you're doing what you can to actually make that happen, because when the time comes, action kills doubt.
• 15:54
  Brett: The more you do it, the more repetitions you get, like I said.
• 15:58
  Brett: Going back to the volleyball example, every time we would practice for maybe 30 minutes every practice.
• 16:05
  Brett: We had four hour practices, 30 minutes to an hour.
• 16:08
  Brett: Every practice was just based on serving.
• 16:10
  Brett: So we would serve every day except Sundays, for an hour.
• 16:14
  Brett: That way we could, like, do really well in the games, right and the.
• 16:20
  Brett: Every time I would hit the net in practice, every time I would go out of bounds with a ball.
• 16:25
  Brett: I just took a breath because it was another repetition and I knew that if I kept doing my best every single serve and tried refining my form, it would get better, and it ultimately did so.
• 16:37
  Brett: When I would tow up to the line to do a serve in a game, I knew where it was going to go, how it was going to go there, from all the repetitions up to that point.
• 16:46
  Brett: So that belief that I could get it over the net started there, but then the work went into it and that action.
• 16:51
  Brett: It killed my doubt.
• 16:53
  Brett: Sometimes I would hit the net, though, so that's okay, but that's why I recorded a podcast, maybe six episodes ago, about discipline equals freedom, because it has a lot of profound effects on many areas of my life, and confidence is one of them.
• 17:12
  Brett: The more you can exercise discipline and say you're going to do something and then actually sit down and do it, or say you're going to work on your eating habits and you actually go through and follow through with it and you're consistent, that's going to build your confidence.
• 17:27
  Brett: Discipline helps with this whole process, because action requires discipline, consistency requires discipline and confidence requires discipline.
• 17:41
  Brett: Because you don't want to be arrogant.
• 17:42
  Brett: You need to be disciplined with your confidence, as strange as that might sound, but you do.
• 17:47
  Brett: You need to reel it in when you feel like you're on top of the world Because, as good as you might be in any sport, as good as you might be in any area of life, no one likes an arrogant person.
• 17:59
  Brett: So, yeah, you might be confident, but don't confuse it with arrogance.
• 18:04
  Brett: There's a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
• 18:07
  Brett: Confidence is earned and arrogance is assumed.
• 18:11
  Brett: Confidence doesn't need to shout because the work speaks for itself and arrogance, on the other hand, is loud because it is hollow.
• 18:20
  Brett: How many people have you met like that that just are talkers?
• 18:24
  Brett: They are talkers and they'll tell you every cool thing that they're going to go do, every amazing feat that they're doing, and then the time comes around to actually do it and you don't hear anything from them because they're either too scared, they didn't put in the work and aren't willing to go out there.
• 18:44
  Brett: My favorite example is team Tim.
• 18:48
  Brett: If you get sad by what I'm about to say, you should probably sign up for Team Tim.
• 18:54
  Brett: But there have been people, many people, tell me oh yeah, I'll sign up for that race, I'll do that race for sure.
• 19:02
  Brett: I don't think it's a way of arrogance, I don't think it's coming from a place of arrogance, but they tell me one thing and their actions don't reflect that, and so it's a form of lying in a sense, because if you don't want to do something really that bad, you should just fess up to it and say actually I'm sorry, that's not for me, but if you say you're going to do something and then you don't, that's negative on your confidence.
• 19:26
  Brett: Like, that's going to, it's going to help.
• 19:30
  Brett: You see that you take the easy route often and that's not a good place to be in by all means.
• 19:37
  Brett: I'm not suggesting that people who don't run Team Tim are losers or lazy.
• 19:45
  Brett: I don't think that's the case.
• 19:45
  Brett: I just think it's important to stay true to your word, and confidence is part of that.
• 19:48
  Brett: You have to stay true to your word, but don't be arrogant.
• 19:51
  Brett: I would say confidence is quiet self-assurance.
• 19:55
  Brett: Like you know your abilities, you know the work that you've put in and, deep down, you're confident that you'll be able to get the work done.
• 20:03
  Brett: Arrogance, on the other hand, is like I said, it's noise without substance behind it.
• 20:07
  Brett: It's just talk, and there's been many times when I've set up a sales call and I haven't prepared for it and I show up.
• 20:21
  Brett: It doesn't go as smoothly as I wish it would have, and it might be arrogance I might be thinking to myself I don't need to prepare for this call, I got this in the bag.
• 20:30
  Brett: When, in all reality, what does an extra 20 minutes of preparation do for you?
• 20:35
  Brett: It makes you better.
• 20:36
  Brett: It makes you more adept and more ready to answer questions that might come your way.
• 20:41
  Brett: And it's a huge contrast to when I am prepared for a meeting, when I know everything about this person's business that I can learn and I know exactly what pain points they're facing, how to that I can learn and I know exactly what pain points they're facing, how to address those and what I can do to help them and what solutions I have to make their lives a little bit easier.
• 21:07
  Brett: But arrogance is not good.
• 21:09
  Brett: Vince Lombardi has a great quote on this.
• 21:12
  Brett: Vince Lombardi has a great quote on this.
• 21:21
  Brett: Confidence is contagious.
• 21:24
  Brett: Contagious, so is lack of confidence.
• 21:25
  Brett: And again, team Tim's another great example, because when we all get together for Team Tim, there's a lot of people who aren't considered.
• 21:33
  Brett: They don't consider themselves runners.
• 21:34
  Brett: And then there's people like my wife and I who run on a regular basis, but it's so much fun because we just everyone in the room is confident that they're going to finish.
• 21:41
  Brett: The runners who have done it before, the people who it's their first time.
• 21:45
  Brett: Everyone's confident they're going to finish and it's contagious and I've seen this before too.
• 21:51
  Brett: Like the volleyball example, if one person on our team didn't have confidence that we could beat one of our rivals, that would seep into every other team member.
• 22:03
  Brett: Everyone else would feel that lack of confidence and then they'd start questioning themselves, they'd question the team's ability, they'd lose trust in the team and eventually we'd lose the game.
• 22:15
  Brett: The same story goes like when you start winning in a game, that momentum you can ride that and it spreads to the rest of the team.
• 22:25
  Brett: So just be careful with being arrogant and being confident.
• 22:32
  Brett: One of my favorite things to think about is building confidence through discomfort.
• 22:35
  Brett: Because, let's face it, building confidence means getting uncomfortable.
• 22:39
  Brett: It means stepping into situations where you might fail, and that's okay.
• 22:43
  Brett: If you understand that, going into it, that's okay.
• 22:45
  Brett: Every run I've taken, every workout I've done, there's been a voice telling me that I can stop.
• 22:51
  Brett: Every single time, that voice is doubt and every time you push past it, you're proving to yourself that you're capable of more.
• 22:59
  Brett: It's a conversation with discomfort If you can push through that and realize that when it's telling you to stop when you are feeling these feelings of doubt.
• 23:11
  Brett: But you keep pushing on that confidence built and you are amazed at what you've become.
• 23:20
  Brett: Eleanor Roosevelt has a great quote too.
• 23:22
  Brett: She says do something that scares you every day.
• 23:23
  Brett: And as cliche as that sounds, it's true.
• 23:26
  Brett: If you're not scared, you're not reaching to your full potential, and there should be some things in your life that scare you.
• 23:34
  Brett: You should be doing things that you don't feel particularly qualified to do, whether that be running, whether that be applying for a job, starting a family, anything.
• 23:47
  Brett: It's okay to be a beginner, and being a beginner is often scary.
• 23:53
  Brett: But when you realize that fear is just holding you back and you can push past it to become better, a whole new world opens up.
• 24:02
  Brett: Your perspective begins to change and you realize that, yeah, I actually am capable of more.
• 24:09
  Brett: And you see this snowball effect in your life of confidence starting to build and you can use that confidence to lead your family, lead those around you, be a better person, realize that you can use your talents for something that is good, and I would encourage you guys to pick one thing that makes you uncomfortable this week.
• 24:31
  Brett: If that means it's having a difficult conversation, it could be starting a new habit or stopping an old one, or it could be trying something that you have been avoiding.
• 24:42
  Brett: That could be it too, and it's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to let it dictate your life.
• 24:52
  Brett: But it's not okay to let it dictate your life If you let fear be the gatekeeper of your life, where it determines what comes in and it determines what you do.
• 25:03
  Brett: Who has control?
• 25:06
  Brett: Is it fear?
• 25:07
  Brett: No, you do.
• 25:10
  Brett: You have the control to push past that fear.
• 25:14
  Brett: Think about a haunted house.
• 25:15
  Brett: It's meant to be a scary thing.
• 25:16
  Brett: You walk through a haunted house.
• 25:18
  Brett: There's guys jumping out at you.
• 25:19
  Brett: You look over, you see some lady is getting her arms sawed off and then all of a sudden you walk around another corner and Chucky the doll pops out with a knife.
• 25:27
  Brett: And you keep walking and some scorpions without tails fall on you.
• 25:32
  Brett: Scary stuff, right.
• 25:35
  Brett: But one step in front of the other eventually gets you through the haunted house.
• 25:39
  Brett: And as slow as you might go through that haunted house, waiting for things to jump out at you, just being full of anxiety, if you keep doing one step in front of the other, you'll get through to the end.
• 25:52
  Brett: You'll realize that that whole fear first off.
• 25:55
  Brett: Haunted houses are fake, but that whole fear that you felt was all a construct of the mind.
• 26:02
  Brett: The mind is a powerful tool.
• 26:03
  Brett: It can be a powerful regulator as well, and you can let it dictate your life or you can let it push you.
• 26:15
  Brett: And I think fear is a good sign.
• 26:17
  Brett: If you're scared about your goals, at least fear with your goals and with your ambitions.
• 26:24
  Brett: It means you're in the right direction, because you're on the cusp of doing something that you've never done before, and a lot of the times it's not fear, it's just uncertainty, and when you get a few more reps you're fine, you understand that it's okay, and then you're not going to die, because that's really, really the key.
• 26:45
  Brett: One thing I want to really emphasize about building confidence is the power of small wins, because, yeah, like I was talking about with the journal, you can go back and see your progression.
• 26:58
  Brett: It might be minute, but you can see that there has been a correlation between the work that you put in and the success you're seeing now, which is awesome, and you need to be proud of those small moments.
• 27:10
  Brett: A couple episodes ago, I hit 100 episodes, which for me was a big milestone, but I know I'm going to look back after doing 200, 300, 400 episodes and be like that was just a little little victory for myself.
• 27:24
  Brett: I just had to get to that point to keep this momentum rolling.
• 27:26
  Brett: And confidence isn't built on one big success.
• 27:27
  Brett: It's really not.
• 27:29
  Brett: It's built on a thousand small wins.
• 27:33
  Brett: Every time you choose the harder, better option, whether it's waking up early to work out, saying no to your distractions or sticking to your commitments, you're adding to that stack of proof.
• 27:44
  Brett: Hormozy talks about the reason I wake up early and I train and I push myself is so that I'm confident on race day.
• 27:54
  Brett: And it's that I'm confident that I'm getting better and that I'm having fun race day.
• 28:00
  Brett: And it's that I'm confident that I'm getting better in that I'm having fun.
• 28:02
  Brett: I'm having fun on the journey.
• 28:06
  Brett: Running is a hard, hard adventure to be on, honestly, because there's a lot of pain, a lot of discomfort, but there's also a huge benefit to my confidence.
• 28:12
  Brett: If anything, that's probably why I run is to build my confidence in myself, to tell myself that, yes, I can push past difficulty when it arises.
• 28:21
  Brett: I can do something that is hard.
• 28:24
  Brett: So when something actually difficult comes up in my life, I'm a little bit better at handling it, because I have that evidence that I can.
• 28:32
  Brett: And it sounds.
• 28:35
  Brett: It sounds crazy, but I promise you, like I said, the more you choose that, harder, better option you're adding to that stack of proof.
• 28:49
  Brett: Robert Collier says this success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
• 28:56
  Brett: Again, it's that repetition, small, consistent actions, compound over time, and that builds your confidence.
• 29:03
  Brett: And there's a lot that goes into that.
• 29:08
  Brett: Because during this time where you're experiencing a lot of small wins, you're also going to experience a lot of small failures.
• 29:15
  Brett: Understand it's part of the process.
• 29:17
  Brett: But when you experience a small failure, you shouldn't be sad, you shouldn't beat yourself up.
• 29:23
  Brett: Instead, try to look at it as an opportunity to learn, refine your process.
• 29:28
  Brett: I'll give you another example.
• 29:29
  Brett: With this podcast, I used to be pretty lackadaisical with the production quality.
• 29:36
  Brett: Like I wasn't necessarily too focused on how the audio sounded, how it looked and the content I was doing.
• 29:43
  Brett: I just I really wanted to have a podcast which is interesting.
• 29:46
  Brett: Like I wasn't.
• 29:47
  Brett: I want to do a podcast, but I wasn't really focused on how can I make this the best thing I can.
• 29:52
  Brett: And there were a lot of failures in the early days.
• 29:57
  Brett: Still in the early days, but the very early days I'm talking one through 30 severe lack of confidence because I didn't necessarily know what I was doing.
• 30:07
  Brett: But now the podcast has a mission, and the mission of getting after it is to teach other people that they can do just that.
• 30:16
  Brett: They can get after life in their own way and however they want to do it.
• 30:22
  Brett: But just like chubby Brett had to take his first step onto the volleyball court to become an athlete, to become a volleyball player and to do pretty well, you yourself have to take that first step into whatever is in front of you, no matter how scary it might seem, no matter how daunting it might feel or overwhelming it might be.
• 30:41
  Brett: If you take that first step, confidence will follow because you will get better.
• 30:48
  Brett: I promise you that Action kills confidence.
• 30:54
  Brett: Well, no, action does not kill confidence.
• 30:56
  Brett: Action breeds confidence.
• 30:58
  Brett: Action kills doubt, and it can do the same thing for you.
• 31:05
  Brett: I would track your small wins just for a week.
• 31:08
  Brett: Just do it for a week.
• 31:09
  Brett: If that's a health goal or a journaling goal or a relationship goal, whatever it is, document your small wins, because then again you have that data to look at, that you are becoming a greater person, that you're enjoying the process, that you're starting to feel more ready to take on more of life's challenges, and you're not shying away from them.
• 31:33
  Brett: You're confident in your ability and when those challenges come, you're a problem solver You're trying to figure out what's the best way to get through it.
• 31:41
  Brett: Circling back, confidence is not something that you're born with.
• 31:46
  Brett: It's something that you build.
• 31:47
  Brett: It's forged in the fire of effort, discipline and discomfort.
• 31:51
  Brett: Remember action kills doubt.
• 31:54
  Brett: Every challenge you overcome, every small win you stack, is a step toward becoming the person you're meant to be.
• 32:01
  Brett: So don't wait until you feel ready.
• 32:03
  Brett: Start now.
• 32:04
  Brett: Prove yourself wrong, outwork your self-doubt.
• 32:10
  Brett: This week, I want you to take one small step towards building your confidence and, as always, you can share it with me on social media.
• 32:16
  Brett: You can send me an email on keepgettingafteritcom, but I'd love to hear your story, because we're pushing together.
• 32:25
  Brett: I know you're getting afterlife in your own way.
• 32:28
  Brett: I'm getting afterlife in my own way.
• 32:30
  Brett: We all are doing the same and together we're strong.
• 32:35
  Brett: Together we can stay consistent, we can be disciplined and we can keep getting after it together.
• 32:41
  Brett: This is a journey, and journeys aren't meant to be done in a day.
• 32:46
  Brett: It takes time, but eventually you'll be shocked at who you become, and I know that's the case because it happened directly to me.
• 33:01
  Brett: I have struggled with confidence my entire life, but it's not until I realized that action, discipline and putting in the work is what brings that confidence to fruition.
• 33:15
  Brett: And it will do the same for you if you trust and if you believe you can.
• 33:21
  Brett: I appreciate you all for listening.
• 33:24
  Brett: Be your own biggest cheerleader, because confidence comes from within and it comes from that work.
• 33:32
  Brett: And when you're winning, when you're doing those small wins, pat yourself on the back because you just did something you never did before.
• 33:39
  Brett: Sometimes that's scary, but I promise you it's worth it.
• 33:44
  Brett: If this helped you in any way, please send it and share it with someone else.
• 33:50
  Brett: Leave a review if you'd like to.
• 33:52
  Brett: That all helps the podcast.
• 33:55
  Brett: So please take care of yourselves.
• 33:58
  Brett: Do what you got to do to take that step into the, into the fear that you've been putting aside.
• 34:05
  Brett: And, uh, as always, my friends keep getting after it.
• 34:10
  Brett: We'll talk to you soon.