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Junk Mail And Guitars · The Pork Roll, Egg, And Cheese Podcast

• Shamus: What's up everybody. Welcome to another episode of the pork roll egg and cheese podcast. My name is Seamus and thank you guys for taking a second and give us a listen. Well, Herbie today's a very special episode. have our first guest here on the pork roll egg and cheese podcast. What do you say, bud? Herbie: And I am Herbie. Steve: It sounds and tastes delicious. What's up, everybody? This is Steve. speaker-1: this. Shamus: That's what I was waiting on her for you to introduce this team. we'll just keep going. We're good. Thanks for coming on, Steve. It's good to see you, Bod. How you been? Awesome. Good. Well, before we get too deep into this, Kirby, we have our first sponsor of the show. Steve appears courtesy of Big Bob's Wax Carrots. Big Bob's Wax Carrots. Steve: beer. Shamus: Need your carrot wax? No carrot too big, no carrot too small. Give Big Bob a call today, because no one waxes a carrot quite like Big Bob. Herbie: Indeed, call the man. Shamus: Alright, let's get down to it. Steve! Steve: It definitely had like some sound effects for that, you It's gotta go with the carrot one. speaker-1: You Shamus: I didn't even think of that to be honest. gotta have it. sort of want to tell you a little bit about yourself, Steve, where you're from and how you grew up and all that stuff. Steve: I was left, left alone. And I'm just going to start being honest from the heart because this is kind of podcast you think to yourself, you know, what am I doing with my free time? How did I get to bacon, egg and cheese first thing in the morning? I don't know. I guess I got the day off. And I'm just learning how to use Spotify. Okay, is how I imagine most people got here to this episode. Because if you listen to Steve talk about his life is disaster. This will turn into an emotional. Let's not do that. Shamus: Okay. Steve: Man, how did you get here? What do you like about yourself? I'm really not feeling too well, fellas. Herbie: You got your emotional support animal with you got Jack Jack with you. Steve: I got the terrier of all times. He's hanging out with us. I thought we were going to be on camera, but luckily we're not. It's coming. But I'm the king of the junk mail. That's why I came by to talk to everybody and apologize. And I also want everyone to know that I know who you are. I have your name and I have all your personal information. And no, I can't get you off the list, but I can have it duplicated. Don't fool around with me, Shamus: No, no, that's coming now. Well, that's right. Well, that's why I have you on today, man. I think you have one of the most fascinating jobs in all the world, Yeah, just due to the fact that they have a job to do to make sure we're all happy and women are happy and stuff. You do a job that I have no idea why it's still an industry with the way technology is nowadays Steve: Even more than the vagina, guys? good question. Why would people waste money on a print campaign with all the mediums we have today? Shamus: Yes, absolutely with the digital world we live in today. It's like I said, where is it? I lost my nudes. But like even with like all the spam mail and all that stuff like that, it's amazing how much junk mail gets printed a year. And you're at the head of that. Like you're like right in the mix. how much did you know how much like a day your company puts out or? Steve: That's a good question. I would have to think about, who's that, somebody's phone? Oh, I like it. I would have to say in a 24 hour period, could do, you're doing 90,000 an hour on six machines, so someone can do the math. That's just on digital and web press sort of delivery systems. Shamus: Now it's my computer. Steve: And it never stops. It's a 24-hour effort to make sure everybody gets their junk mail. We don't let people down, you know. You get your junk mail. You've never heard anyone say, can get shit in the mailbox. speaker-1: He he. Herbie: I got my bills and I got my junk, man. Steve: I did not get my red plums today. Where's my red plum coupon? Well... It's 24-7 operation. The building never turns the lights off. I'm very serious. Yeah, it's four shifts. We work 12 hours a day, 7A to 7P, and then another crew comes in at nighttime and we hand off the ball. It never stops. Shamus: What do mean nonstop? Are you printing 24 seven or? Are you serious? Always. Yeah, I'll hear some of the stats in 2021 the Post Service mailed 128.9 billion pieces of direct mail, which is what your industry calls, Joe mail, right? That is absolutely. Steve: Yep. That's kind of my thing. I like to say the truth is, is that I've been book binding my whole life, which is the same application just for a different reason. So when we used to make cool leather bound books that were, or even just, you know, throw together books, we used to make it for the whole country to take all summer when we would work around the clock. And that somehow gets approved the scholastic deal where everyone uses the same format I want. Shamus: I do remember that because some of the books that you were printing what we were using at the job with the state Steve: Absolutely, absolutely. That gets passed and pretty much the whole country is supposed to be on that same. Shamus: that military green book with the red maroon vinyl. Steve: Everyone has to get it. And in all different forms. did overlays for that, but it's uniform. It's the, you know, mostly the whole country is working on the same. Shamus: So you're still with the same company. You guys were doing that before. Steve: ⁓ This is a whole different thing where it's still book binding, but I'm not making books now. I'm just making the junk mail. That's like my joke to people who understand what we do. So not only are we printing, people say, ⁓ you're Steve's a printer. I'm not a printer. I'm really a book binder. Any type of book, a sewn book or a... perfect bound book like your phone book. You don't get phone books anymore, but they were meant to not last more than a year. That's the type of binding that you use. You just wrap a bunch of information around a little bit of a thicker cover, as opposed to a well-bound sewn, glued book that's going to last 100 years, like a Bible that's leather bound or three pieces or something like that. Some craftsmanship went into it. Now you just take the same abilities you had. to make things like that and you're just processing junk mail. So that's like my joke. When people say, what do you do? I say, I make the junk mail. Cause it always takes them by surprise. Cause they give you that look like, Hey man, you mother fucker. And can you get me off the list? And I go, I've seen you on the list and I always highlight your name. I make sure you get more. Shamus: That was another thing I looked up. I didn't realize, doing research for this pod, phone books are actually considered junk mail too. That falls into that realm. I guess it is now the age we live in, but back in the 80s, how can you consider that junk mail? mean, that was a need. Steve: Yeah, it was a neat and now you don't and now do they even do that online is there even a yellow pages or white pages on I guess there is ⁓ Herbie: I got a phone book in the mail like maybe two or three weeks ago, and it's not as big as it used to be Shamus: I can't remember the last time I got one. They're tiny. My dad used to beat the **** out of me. You know what I would do when I got older and I would ask and he was like, that way it doesn't leave. Steve: It's more business oriented. Yeah. Herbie: ⁓ yeah, those things will last forever. Steve: And they were in abundance when the when the time of year came around they would just throw like 20 of them on your block Yeah, or drop three of them at your door. It didn't matter. They were just like that Yeah, remember they came up with the competition for the for the Bell phone book was the RR Donnelly book You ended up with two of them. which is a huge publisher that we deal with RR Donnelly is still enormous to this day And they do all kinds of things ⁓ in scholastic Shamus: It's yours catalog. Steve: You don't see that particular product anymore. Herbie: I wish we did have some old phone books before and they could show it to like younger kids like what the hell the size of this guy? Got everybody's phone number in it Steve: book. I was thinking about like some of the images you guys were checking out. You can't see them. It's all compliance where we're at because that's people's personal information. But really the majority of it is just a name and address, which is public information. That's what made me think about this. Yeah, there's something like that, but I mean you're not supposed to... Shamus: Yeah, that's covered under the Information Act or something. Steve: But in truth, there it is. mean, you saw when we saw the phone book, it's the same thing. It was just everybody's information, which is just an address and your name, you know. Herbie: It's so easy to get everyone's information out nowadays anyway. Shamus: Well, back in the day, it was a phone book. Now you can get where they lived previously. Yeah. Like when I type when I Google my name, like my military PO box comes up. I've used that in 30 years. So well, it kind of makes me think another part of the industry that has me astounded. ⁓ Because we don't print phone books anymore to serious catalog and stuff like that junk mail actually provides the postal service with 15 billion dollars of revenue and marketing alone like the mail that they send out I guess they that is absolutely insane like how could you always hear like all the post office is gonna die they're downsizing they're making 15 billion just off a junk mail Steve: I don't know how, how their revenue is, I don't know how that's possible. That they make any money. Shamus: Well, that's what I'm saying. I have no idea how this industry works at all. Herbie: It almost seems like, you know, like when you do, like if you're a YouTuber or anything like that, you get like sponsors and all that stuff. Cause it's all like free advertisement, you know? So like the average advertising is just huge. Even for like a, like one of those, uh, games on your phone and stuff. Like you, gotta watch like advertisements and commercials for certain companies. mean, post office, uh, roofing companies. Steve: They never stop. It's relentless. Everybody's trying to feed you their idea. They you to buy their product every possible way. Herbie: You always get like the junk emails and stuff like that the spam calls so it's like you said it's like they hit you on all sides are hitting you from the Technology side and they're still hitting you with the paper Steve: And they're way onto us more than, mean, you know, know it'd be the conspiracy guy, but I was just sitting home last week thinking and working on some shit and sure enough, it shows up on the TV. know, and now you know, the things on your phone, truly listening to you ⁓ really paying attention to every single thing that you're up to. Shamus: ⁓ you're listening to you, absolutely. Bro, when you leave here today, they're going to be like when you go to prank up your absolutely. They're going to like, you want to start a podcast? Steve: to see something for this equipment. ⁓ Herbie: This is real interesting. Steve: in that mixer. speaker-1: You Shamus: That's kind of how it got me started because I went to I went and sat in Jay's podcast and the next thing I know like the next day I'm on my computer and hey you want to learn how to podcast you can podcast I'm like ⁓ Herbie: Yeah. It's not like you're even airdropping your information with your other phones and stuff. just as you're being tracked regardless. Steve: your I feel like you guys should quit your jobs and you have to get up and do this every morning like a radio show. Shamus: What, the podcast Herbie: Sounds good with me. Steve: Let's do this every day do this but you got to do it every day you got a saturated I'm gonna get on top of the saturation. Yeah. Well, how are we gonna? Herbie: Do this. Shamus: Big stats guy so they say when I when I was doing research for this it's eight million people There's eight million podcasts out there I think they said like a million five or just kind of like dead like nobody's doing and like a Million and a half or just like it's constantly it's constantly rotation Steve: See you there. People didn't get revenue out of it after six attempts, so they're done with it. Shamus: Yeah, so I mean I don't give a shit if anybody listens or not I'm just gonna keep doing this because I find it I'm a curious dude. So like what the junk mail thing I'm it blows my mind. You always say that I'm like this motherfucker Because I'm the guy who walks my mailbox and I'll get three pieces of mail and it's all junk and I'm like I have to walk up that big-ass driveway Then I gotta walk all the way back down to the driveway just to throw in the recycle bucket because it goes in the house It's gonna sit there forever Steve: I This is why I tell everybody, it's just a psychological thing because I want people to think of me every day. Somehow I got to think of Steve for a second today. ⁓ Herbie: Technically you could say, I'm in everyone's house. ⁓ Shamus: I'm in your mailbox. speaker-1: you Steve: But even beyond that, it's an inside joke. say it out loud. I forget about it, but we do so many other things. are so many other things. Everybody's medical bills. do, um, do a lot of billing. There's a lot of, a lot of those letters you saw, you know, one in particular, you know, the role, the one role. mean, that's a, that's a lot of that's 90,000 letters on that one role. Shamus: I'm sure they love you for that. Herbie: I'm ready. Shamus: Yeah. It doesn't seem like they waste too much either. Like everything's kind of printed in a way where there's no waste. It's cut and Steve: Nah, we're using pretty much all of it. Yeah. And, ⁓ you know, we do a lot of it and there's a lot of different forms. So even though a lot of it is just, just junk mail, it doesn't matter if it's really got your name or just says current resident or car sort, you're going to get it. It's never going to stop coming. They knows there's a residence at that location in this country. will never stop coming. Whether it's got your grandmother, she's been dead for 40 years or it's coming. Shamus: It'll just say her or current resident. Steve: current resident. It's just not going to stop coming. You can call and try to stop it. You can't. there is a lot of things that go on, uh, you know, all different, like the company I work for, do sports illustrated, we do national geographic, but they're all done at different locations around the globe, mostly in this country, but South America, uh, we're everywhere. got like 28,000 employees. When I started, I don't know if we still have that many due to the current. way the world is if they laid off or were growing bigger. But it was huge. Your biggest graphic arts. That's what we really are. where we happen to work right here in Rancocus, it's a direct mailing house. So it's a hundred eighty thousand square foot of just making junk mail every day. It's got to go. it. No sooner you guys saw does it get printed. It's in an envelope and it's going out the door because it's got to be there. And those cards that I showed you, like that has to get done because they're going to get blown in. This is what's called blowing in. Shamus: That's crazy. Steve: Just into like a Sunday paper. Remember the Sunday paper was this big with all the shit that came in it? ⁓ That's what'll happen to those cards for the most part. You'll either get it with your regular mail, like Xfinity card or a Spectrum. Those people, by the way, seem to have the most amount of money for print campaigns, are the cable companies. It's unbelievable the amount of effort they put into trying to get more. They don't stop. Herbie: There's like every business has like that huge like budget for advertisement and stuff, man. I mean, that's like the lifeblood for everybody. Steve: along with Sirius. And for print campaign, like we did for my daughter, we did ultra beauty. works at Ulta, Ulta, Ulta, excuse me, Ulta Beauty. we don't, us cats don't ever think about that. You don't think about that shit, man. That industry does 16 times more. Look that up. Look at what the beauty industry does as far as annual revenue. It's just women. ⁓ No, she ain't gonna talk to you guys. Shamus: So we should have her on. speaker-1: Yeah. Herbie: I'm not hanging out with friends. Steve: important things to do. She's gotta get these ugly broads up to speed. baby, baby, baby, no, you gotta... ⁓ Herbie: You should be like, you've been friends with Seamus and Herbie forever and I still haven't met them. I'm going to keep it that way. Shamus: ⁓ speaker-1: He's... Herbie: I know you hang out with them and stuff, Dad, but... Steve: Nooner tried to friend her years ago. I was like, don't ever talk to him. Delete him, hide him, block him. I know why. What he's doing. He'll need to know. Herbie: The rule man like even on Facebook like it like I've known you for like over 20 years So I'm not gonna like friend request your daughter that I never ever Shamus: Me neither, but it would be nice to have somebody on in the beauty industry that can explain that because I see all to beauty all the time and I've never been in one of those stores. I just look at I'm like, the what is that? Steve: And again, the reason I brought that up was because you saw those rolls. They're enormous. One roll is, again, if you just let it fly, it would go for six miles. It's got, fuck, two letters on it. And the amount of money that they spent on a print campaign, a print campaign, wrap your head around that. Like we're just talking, today's day and age. And they have, roll after roll, they're gonna reach out to a million people just with a letter that probably won't even get opened. Herbie: Well, remember like- Shamus: ⁓ Like, they might print all that up and spend all that money, but if it hits my mailbox, gonna write this, because I have no idea what's going on with that. Steve: This is what blows my mind. How much of my daily efforts are just tossed in the garbage and anger? By the it gets to you, you're like, at the end of the day, I'll... speaker-1: You Shamus: to say apparently have you ever gotten anything that you cut or print or had in mail? Steve: I haven't gotten anything that I've made other than a company inside. So if the company makes something for all the employees, yeah, we obviously Herbie: That's kind of weird. You make all that junk mail and you get like... Shamus: No. Steve: ⁓ I can make sure I'm not on the list. What are you, a retarded? I'm not on I work in the industry. I'm not on the list, man. I don't get bothered by that. Herbie: Remember like back in the day, like AOL used to send you like the CD through the mail and stuff like that? Like, did you guys have to do anything like that? Steve: No, no, I mean, I've done never. It's not like that, but I've had, we have to do like glue ones or little one. I mean, by that is like, you'll see like, like a little, you'll get a card card, like a fake credit card as a promotional thing. And it'll be a little sticker attached to it. Just to see how that's done. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. takes forever or, ⁓ medication prescription instructions that you take something that's a piece of paper. That's the size. Herbie: Yeah. Yeah. Steve: They have half the size of this table. It's on tissue paper. Cause you ever see one of them when you fold it out? You got to get it out of this little bottle. So it has to be folded in a machine. It's going to put like 18 folds. It's like unfolding the map and getting the map back. Right. Micro size. Print them and fold them. then, you know, it's counts that. Yeah. Herbie: all the instructions Shamus: That too. Herbie: Do you imagine that like you're on a shit list at the job and like, got to fold those little things like by hand, just like, like as an entry level type deal that would suck. Like, like say for example, like, you know, like the, the instructions in, in the medicine bottles and stuff. Right. And like, you're a new guy at your job and you would get like a shit detail. Cause either you got in trouble or something like that. And you got to manually fold those little things yourselves. Steve: Say that again. have to do that all the time, have to check. So, it's like, pull samples and check to make sure what you're doing is correct. Herbie: But now it's like, there's probably like a machine for it and stuff. Steve: Right here, I'll try to see if can that going. Here's a machine that's opening up a junk mail letter and putting three dots of glue inside of it, right there. And it's going to refold it back now, closed. Now it's closed, and this little woman's going to scoop them up, hey, and put them in a tray for you. So here it goes again. Now it's going under the glue unit, opened it up. Herbie: Nice. Shamus: ⁓ wow. Herbie: The one good thing that was like, even though a lot of people don't like the junk mail or wherever that stuff is like spring times coming. So everyone can use it as like fire starters for their, for their bonfires in the backyard and stuff. If you see bonfires, especially in South Jersey, man, everyone's throwing stuff tires on their particle board. Steve: You want to be careful? There's a lot of chemicals and treatment on a lot of them. stand over Shamus: At one point you were saying they cover it in like a UV thing so it protects it from the weather and all that stuff like the cards like the UV code we do both Steve: Yeah, yeah. We do double two side lamination. So that's big rolls of film that coat, you know, it's laminated and then there's UV coating, which is a chemical, stinks. Absolutely. You guys can see there how, how it's like a mousetrap machine. Herbie: They're like little tiny little... Steve: But it's just doing this one, it's performing one action. It's just opening that up so a human doesn't have to do it. And hitting it with three glue shots. Shamus: Very efficient. Herbie: Like a very, these like machines are just like huge. Like a big assembly, assembly, assembly line. And it just pumps it out so damn fast. It's like ridiculous. it never stops. Someone like manually trying to do that, like that same type of speed. It's almost like a Dwight Schrute on like a office space trying to like, ⁓ match the timing of like that automated selling thing. You would never be able to do the same speed or pace. Shamus: That's all it is. Steve: But that looks smooth, but when that goes wrong, and when it jams up, that woman down there, she looks just like Lucy on the, you know, remember the Lucio ball thing with the, whatever that was. speaker-1: Skip. Herbie: with the candy. Yeah, she just starts eating the candy. Yeah, they look yeah, I don't know what the hell they were. Shamus: We're gonna Steve: Well, I like a little donut hole. Or like, you know, pop. Shamus: Like I said seeing all that stuff actually kind of like one of the statistics I read was American households receive an average of 848 pieces annually Which is roughly 41 pounds a person or about 300 pieces per person a year in direct mail looking at those videos It's very efficient. Nothing's wasted. ⁓ It's ⁓ and they're pumping out man. That's that's insane ⁓ And nobody and that's cracks me off is nobody's read this shit Steve: That's how you do it. Herbie: Yeah. Steve: It is weird. Sometimes you go into your job and you're like, ⁓ try to get up for it. You know, you're just like, ⁓ this effort's really going to or somebody will come over to you. Some QC mother effort will come over and just bust your balls about some little aspect that you're like, you know, that's going directly in the trash right now. And unfortunately, it's. It's always somebody that's going to it sounds just like, don't go. speaker-1: Yeah. It has to be collectors, not what they're paying for it. I want to tell you. Steve: man, go back to your cubicle man before you get hurt out here. ⁓ speaker-1: But I'm going to have to write you up for this for sure. Steve: happened turn my look at the TV ⁓ Herbie: be a bad idea to be able to put some small messages and stuff. Steve: It's right there direct mail them labels out. That's exactly what it looks like in my shop on the other half of the building Just like that. Say see all the trucks backing in all the doors 30 some outdoors on one side of the building Absolutely all automated Everything there's a whole side of the building. That's all automated I wish I could take more video for you or take video of it for you So you guys really see the front to back process of just how quickly Shamus: Madras. You guys got a bay like that like Look at Amazon warehouse dude I just can't believe the volume of that. on that video we just watched on the TV. If it's that, mean, that is a lot of direct ⁓ mail. Steve: Exactly. 108, we have actually two buildings over there, West 1, West 2, 180 and 220, far as 220 square feet, 108 square feet, it's a lot of space. a lot of space, it takes up a lot of room. Just to keep the inventory of all the papers is absurd. Herbie: No, it's got to be. Yeah. It's like logistics of it all. Shamus: ⁓ yeah. ⁓ the paper stock, the color, know, the print and stuff. keeping track. All that's got to be crazy. What's what's the weirdest thing you ever printed that you ever seen printed? ⁓ Steve: We used to do some cool stuff, man. Some cool like, what do you call like the chicks that are into the hot rods and the rat rods and the chicks from Brooklyn with the tattoos and all that. They had a magazine that was super cool. They had all their lingerie and you know, I'm talking about there's no chicks. Yeah, I mean. Shamus: like a 50s thing. absolutely. Yes. I forget what it's called. My money's white. Herbie: Betty ⁓ Steve: Yes, yes, kind of sh- Shamus: Not like Bar- Is it Barlesque? No. Herbie: But. Steve: Not really burlesque, you know, it's just all cool rock and roll shit rat ride, know rebel type stuff. It's not me It's the junk mail police dude, they're like we got him Herbie: Yeah, they're like a Shamus: Now it's the junk fail phone call. Steve: We got him. got him. Yeah, right. That's that's the next person you got to have on who is who is in charge of that shit Herbie: found him. Shamus: If I Herbie: call. Steve: Wait, you get the one, now if you're maniac like me, you sh- Herbie: All listeners would want to know that, like, tell us, give us all the information of all these people. speaker-1: Okay. Shamus: Well, during research for this, I researched that because I made the mistake of, you know, I was like, it's time to get rid of like all these used cars I have and get like one nice car. Yeah. And man, I made that mistake. I'm getting calls for car loans, car dealerships. I'm like, I don't even know. Like you're in like just one dealership called me during Virginia. I'm not coming to Virginia by car. So like, I guess that got leaked. And in the research, ⁓ don't know how true it is, but there's a national do not contact thing. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: and I filled it out and sent it and they said it takes 72 hours. I did that on Friday. So hopefully by this time next week it works. But man, if I find out the dude who's in charge of this shit. Steve: It's like when you're drinking and driving and you get into an accident. Boy, the next morning you got like 18 letters from attorneys. Whoever is on that shit, they're quick to find out about what you've been doing wrong, ain't they? That was supposed to be a light moment. But then reality sits in and we all had our memory and we're like. Shamus: ⁓ hey, hey, hey. That's how we that's how you learn. I thought he's young kids when they make a mistake, they get all who I'm like, hey, man. Yeah, take it on the chin. Pick yourself up. Herbie: They're coming for you, man. You ain't getting away. It ain't gonna be that easy. Shamus: I can't believe this, dude. They said another thing I read was sorting, reading, and recycling consumes eight months of your life. So just pulling out your mailbox over a lifespan, takes your life sorting, recycling, and ⁓ reading it. Steve: Yeah. What did you have there? as a consumer or at my job. Shamus: No, like me. Right. Like as an American, like going to the mailbox, reading it, sorting it and then throwing it. It's like, we'll take up eight months of my life in a lifespan. An average of 75 year per, like if a person lives at 75, eight months of your life, we'll be taking junk mail out, reading it and throwing it out. Herbie: I think might as well just get like a, put a little cooler right next to your mailbox. As soon as you get the junk mail, can sort through that crack one open and just go through your stuff, man. Maximize your time. Steve: I'm telling you when you live in apartment conflicts like me, you know, all these transient people, all these different personalities and you walk around with Jack daily multiple times and you see and learn who the people are. Like I said, before we started, they had stated with the United States postal system, they don't feel like they should even be bothered with this junk mail industry. They're like, man, you mother effort. If you keep putting this shit in my box, it's a little ass box in the apartment. They just stopped. bringing their mail and I was looking at a dude today. No, I mean, shit is dripping out of his mailbox. It's wet. It's stuck. It's molded from the into position. This dude does not give a shit about his mail. And he ain't the only one. And it's usually young people that are like that. I don't fuck. I'm not even going to throw it away. Fuck you. You figure out where to put it. As a matter of fact, I can't wait to see you come here on Friday when there's no more room left in the box. What are you going to do with it? Now, it's your problem. You can put it back in your bag and out of the neighborhood. I've been watching all the time. Shamus: You can pay everything digitally, your mortgage, your electric, so I mean, you technically don't need anything. Steve: And I know a cat who's passive aggressive he's got the box, but it's real, you know, it's just a box But it's it's thin and it only has a slot in the top that you can put a ⁓ an envelope Only one envelope at a time will fit in there, but you definitely ain't getting your shop right thing in there You ain't getting your Walgreens And then he has to unlock it to get it out every day man, it's smart it's a good way to do it Herbie: it time no doubt. Then you got also like the other people that are like the real couponers and actually like get like a, a four shopping carts full of like groceries and use all those coupons that you print out and they wind up spending like a dollar. Shamus: Well, that's why I get the Sunday paper. I'm not that extreme with it, but like I actually do cut coupons. But even that's digital now. Herbie: Yeah, but see actually Steve, you know what not for nothing really think about like people may be pissed off at you but you there's a lot of ⁓ Mothers out there, you know getting doing grocery shopping for their family and you're feeding the whole day. I'm gonna like their hell Steve: Drunk wine mothers need to get on the digital coupon system and leave us alone. We're busy. Okay. Yeah, it's not even I can do it. I see I I can say three dollars or whatever I walk over to that little bit of coupon station. They got it to shop right anybody know how to use it. Herbie: Yeah, well, yeah, I'm sure some of them do, but you know, well, probably don't want to mess with that stuff, man. Steve: I was just trying to be funny. big one we do for Q-Pot, well that vitamin shop, that was a big account. mean, I don't know how many people, I don't even think that many people are that healthy. no. Why are ⁓ making Horty's vitamin shop? There ain't nobody taking these vitamins. No. Herbie: You know, everyone's drinking like monsters and stuff like that. They've just got something caffeine in it. Like it doesn't have to be healthy. Shamus: I actually take a buttload of vitamins. I do too. But I mean don't buy anything from vitamin shop. I don't even know if there's one around here. don't know. I think there's one up in Moor. Herbie: If you also Steve: I've never seen one. Herbie: Yeah, but you're also not like sucking down like, you know, six monsters a day because everyone's like, drinking nothing but caffeine all damn day. I can't like when I like sit like everyone's like, ⁓ don't tell me what to do. I'm like, all right, cool. I don't really care what, know, what you do. You know, I'm just, you know, me myself, I'm not going to drink monsters. They look like damn. It looks like freaking what the hell is that? It looks like antifreeze really. And everyone's like, ⁓ you don't understand. It comes in a different flavor. And I'm like, okay, cool. You know, good for you. But you know, this is why you're always so goddamn tense. Cause like your heartbeat is just going like 9,000 miles an hour. All this caffeine in your system. Shamus: All right, bud. Herbie: Hey Jack Jack Shamus: But yeah, I jumped me. was fascinated. Herbie: Yeah, but I believe or not, I actually sort out the junk mail and stuff and also we'll use it for like fire starters, you know, like the regular envelope stuff, not this stuff that's too like crazy, but. Shamus: He said, each year, 100 million trees are cut down, 28 billion gallons of water, and 51.5 million metric tons of CO2 emissions are generated through junk mail. Now, for the CO2 emissions things, I didn't understand what it meant, but there was a little thing next to it that said, that is the equivalent of running 11 million cars a day. Which we do anyway, there's billions of cars out there anyway. Herbie: People actually might say like, they're, they're against that. it's like, it's going to hurt the environment. And they are. Cool. But there's also like those, uh, those AI processing plants that are just like, just generating and generating and just like, just the amount of power it takes just for someone to do like a cute little AI video on Facebook and how much pollution that does too. Steve: Or the noise pollution, right? Wasn't there a whole thing on... Herbie: I think also like the amount of water it takes to like to keep the the generators for like the processors and stuff like cooled down because like when they do the AI generation Shamus: Yeah, that's a huge thing. Well, that's what we're saying New Jersey's electric went through the roof last summer because of AI Yeah, because it takes so much power to generate it and then the power it takes to keep it cool with the water and so well I'm not buying it because no other state on the planet's bitching about electric but ⁓ right now so unless wrong I could be wrong on that. Yeah But yeah, ⁓ I some of this about junk mail just cracks me up, dude I'm so glad I know somebody in the industry is great ⁓ Rec mail ⁓ Steve: Direct mailing. That's what we're doing. Herbie: He doesn't do just junk mail. also plays guitar. He rocks out, you know Steve: I'll distract it now, Jack. Herbie: He's been in like- You fine man? Like how many bands you think you've been in? ⁓ Shamus: You worried about that, Steve: Like maybe four, five or six. I got my first guitar when I was like for confirmation, think. So like eighth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade, something like that. And then I remember my parents got separated and I went with my dad. My mother wouldn't let me take the guitar. So I went a long time without it. And then I picked it back up again when everybody was doing it, know, high school and shit like that. Herbie: How old were you when you started playing? Shamus: For those of you listening that don't know, Steve is a amazing guitar player and has one of the best voices I've ever heard when it comes to rock music. So, hey, you're not gonna tell me any different, I've been in a lot of bands and stuff like that have been on the scene for a while when I was a kid, man, I know. when first time I saw you play in Open Diff'rent Mouth, I was like, holy sm- Steve: I am excited that there are some new dudes and it's just found me literally around the corner, you know, so like we played once and that was cool. So I'm happy just to be playing with some, you know, some people. No, no, I don't nothing like that. It's a of pops. Herbie: the of the banner. Shamus: I was gonna say you've always been one of those dudes that just like, man, let's hang out and jam and do all right. Steve: I saw this dude playing his drums. He was so drunk last summer. He set his drum kit up in his backyard. And then mind you, I live uptown and he was just going at it at three o'clock in the afternoon. He was ripping and I was like, man, I went over and introduced myself. was walking Jack. It's right across from that little baseball field in Marlton. And, uh, and then like three weeks ago, he calls me. can be like, we exchanged numbers, but when the new year comes, I usually just ditch any contact. don't remember. So he just texted me, but I didn't know who it was. I got rid of the contact obviously and he's still playing. turns out the dudes like, there's like three dudes right around the corner from me. So it's nice and easy. You know what I mean? You know, no one guy's got his son playing everything. You gotta wait for a second. But I mean, it's, I'm thrilled, thrilled about it. Shamus: Nice. Convenient. Herbie: It's like how many times do we always hang out with everybody and we're like, we're doing like jam sessions and stuff like that, man. I'm sure a lot of listeners out there do the same thing, man. There's so many people that have like either like a little band in the basement or the other jamming out in like the front yard or in the backyard or. ⁓ Shamus: Everybody in our crew like up at you know up in Southampton stuff like that and that's you know I Steve I met Steve through them like everybody up there is like musically inclined so when I was a kid I was like I Steve: Awesome. When we were kids at the, at the, at the original house. I go by there every time, man. Shamus: all the pig rows. I always go by and like a little tear kind of wells up. Like how many bands were I mean, at the pig roast they had we have like all kinds of bands there and stuff like that and Steve: like man the parties we have had here. Herbie: That's the thing, like that, just like, just hanging out and stuff like that would normally last for days. Steve: Yeah, that was the cool thing. Yeah, I did never met a family like the McWilliams where they were just the coolest. know, you don't call him hippies, but they're like it was like a little hippie place over there. You wake up at one o'clock in the afternoon, somebody's making a new new round of breakfast is being made. Nobody's people lying on the floor. It's just like party resumes. Herbie: ⁓ Steve: You know, it's like fucking nuts, man. That place is those days were great. Herbie: For a couple days with stuff and even like sometimes it like this is how hard like you guys would play they like for the pig roast Sometimes like the pig roast it would rain down pour Yeah, just like a little tarp up top and they'd be like that one side that would like that collapse and like pretty almost falling on the ant like just water just falling on a Shamus: We play right through. random dude would just be standing there with a beer and just hold it while we're playing. Who are some of your influences growing up, Guitar wise ⁓ or just band wise or who are you into? Herbie: That's gotta do it again. Steve: You know, all the records when I was a kid, obviously, know, the Jimmy Pages of the world and Angus Young. And now I'm a huge Joe Satriani fan. Zach Wilder, such a fan of this guy. He's just carrying the black Sabbath hard rock torch. This cat is, you know. Shamus: think they're going on tour. Black Label Society, I think he's going on tour. Steve: And he does so many things that with the, the Zach, with the Zach Sabbath and he's doing the Jimi Hendrix experience and he, he's just awesome. He's fucking great. And I love his attitude. If you watch some of these YouTube videos he's doing to promote the new album they have coming out, just came out is a super cool man. Super cool dude. And Richie Cotson is another guy I love that most people don't know from, from, from New Jersey. And most people, Philly guy, most people don't know who he is and they should. So go check it out. Richie Cotson. everything he's been doing. And that's it. Go get an instrument. Get your kids a set of drums, people. ⁓ Listen, the two of you listening. Shamus: Okay. Herbie: You two people. That's a little thing, too, because I like whenever we hang out, like there's like, of course, there's like six guitar players. We got like three drummers, two dudes at least play bass. We got six singers and stuff. So a lot of times I sit on like, well, you know, every once in while, I'll play like the triangle or something like that. Steve: Listen, get back here. Bobby comes with a box of toys. Yeah. Shamus: Thank I don't play any instruments. I'm a drummer and Bobby always shows, I end up with the maracas or tambourine thing. Like the chicken and the cruisers. Herbie: You know what Like if you, if like, was thinking if I joined in the jam session, cause I remember like years ago, I bought a dig to redo just, just as a prank to be part of the band and stuff like that, you know, cause everyone else played stuff, you know, like I said, there was like six guitars and everything. So I'm looking at one of those, ⁓ melodicas and almost looks like a flute. That's like a Malaka. Yeah. Shamus: He's in the Malacca, Zeno. ⁓ Herbie: ⁓ No, but it's like, ⁓ it looks like it most looks like a small keyboard and you blow into it like a flute and you play it, know, just, just something different. ⁓ Steve: It's a Spanish breakfast sandwich. It's either the pork roll egg and cheese or did you want the malacca? Malacca with cheese? Herbie: Would you rather they with cheese or you want queso? It's like a melodic or something like that Like what is it? ⁓ One of the oasis videos like they I think for Wonderwall or ⁓ the other songs like speaker-1: I you were a lot. Herbie: The dude was playing it. I was like, that's something completely different, you know, just, so if you're not really into like, know, like, uh, doing the guitars or drums and all that stuff, just get something completely out there. Just completely. Steve: ⁓ I was with a girl. She started playing the recorder in the apartment. really? Shamus: Like like an older like this is not when you're in high school like this is recently. ⁓ my God. I didn't know you can actually play that thing. ⁓ I they teach it. Yeah, I ⁓ I it's cool. Everybody's got three quarter class. Yeah. Yeah. But he's very had a little lamb but if you like play like legit shit. Steve: Not that far back. So for shit Herbie: Maybe she's like a rent. Steve: Just like you. He's correcting me. It's a C sharp. speaker-1: Foo doo doo doo. Herbie: Yeah Steve: Oh, that was the wrong note. Yeah, I play a lot of. Oh, God. Herbie: So you dated the pied piper. Shamus: Well, do you you actually play anything else besides guitar? I've never seen. Or can play bass. Steve: I can play a bass, I the drums, I can cover the bass a little bit. I like to play the drums. can fool around with the piano, I really, that's one of those things in life where you're like, want to learn another language before I die. I wanted to really immerse myself in piano playing. Like get one, get a nice, you know, like Bob had, Rita had, you know, a good one. Because now that I do understand, you know, what do you get? By default, you'll understand music better. just by hanging around. So now playing the piano is, know, people used to say to me in high school, piano is so much easier. It's and you learn so much from it. And I was like, you need to come with me and go, let's get high. Come on. OK, get out the music theory room. Come back here. Study halls where everybody's at. And it turns out they were absolutely right. Knowing the piano is the most basic thing you can do. Understand music in five minutes, quite frankly, if you were really trying. Yeah. I put no effort into it as a kid. I was like, I don't need to know. Herbie: That's true. Steve: I went with... I hadn't done it that way. Shamus: I would just get behind the drums. I'd listen to a song and you know, just try to mimic it and You know and Bobby of all people after I got a military was I came in I do power do I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? Dude, just turn your shit to ten and let's And and now as I older I follow these drum channels and stuff and I'm like, man, let me try that I'm like, oh my god, it's crazy Steve: Yeah. I remember. The second time he says it though, he just looks at him like he fucking stupid. But this thing goes. It's never not funny to me. Never not funny. Herbie: Thanks Shamus: What, Herbie: Do I live? Yep. Shamus: That is a great one. Herbie: But if you really think about it though, cause like a lot of times when dudes pick up like guitars and all that stuff, they're, they're, they're pretty much just winging it. They're not really like opening up a music book and looking at bars. Yeah. mean, they're not. Shamus: tried it nine different ways. can't learn that. Steve: YouTube, you realize ⁓ I'm like, mean, I'm fucking been playing a long time, man. And I watch guitarist all the guitar YouTube guys. I'm sure you guys don't know him like I do. But I watched that shit like I just started playing because you wouldn't believe how bad your ear actually is. And I'm like back to the basics. I go back to basic shit. like, and after a while, I'll be like, what are you watching this? Man, you're like 87 times ahead of these guys. This guy or that guy. But in truth, when you watch them play a song, even playing your whole life, and you're like, wow, I never played that right. Herbie: Cause it gets it like, it's like more into the technical part. You know what mean? Steve: Yeah, they're doing it spot on. You learned by ear. And guess what? You learned by ear and you're me. You learned it wrong. know, but Eddie Van Halen said, sounds good to you. It's good enough. And that's what I always went with. And then I start realizing, I'm like, wow, I did not learn that right at all. Shamus: Absolutely. ⁓ live performances are you know just kind of winging anyway but what fucks me I don't know if you do this like I'll be watching like I follow drum channels and stuff now and just kind of like you said going back to basics and kind of you'll see some eight-year-old or some seven-year-old get behind a kid and just start shredding and you're actually learning stuff from this kid ⁓ Steve: by this child. Shamus: They told me if you had Google when you were seven or eight, you might be better too. Herbie: Probably being taught to like, mean, like they're taking lessons and stuff, you know, because like, especially now a lot of parents, like they get into like teaching their kids how to do either, like, know, like either they're a sports family or a music family. They'll get like really in the technical part and actually maybe have someone teach them how to do this stuff and, you know, read the music and play the music and stuff like that. And instead of just doing it by your like, like what you guys did when you were kids. Yeah. I mean, And it's completely different because, know, you got some people that used to play like the rock band music, ⁓ video game thing and they, they could play guitar and it's like, no, no, you can't play guitar, but if you play rock band. Shamus: that was the difference between me Bobby because Bobby to this day still so much better drummer than I am but when we were kids I was all about sports and stuff like even when we were in elementary school and Bobby signed up for you know band like and they had like a drum class and I was like all right no problem man I'll sign up too so when we walked in that day I think he was I don't think we had the same class together but when I walked in there was just nothing but snare drums there And ⁓ looking back, I probably should have stayed. But like I raised my hand I was just like, where's the rest of the kid? And they were like, no, you know, this is like marching band like drums. And I was just like, yeah, I'm going to drop this class because I play like I was like seven, eight years old. was like, man, I play behind the kid. ⁓ And that's why ⁓ Bobby's always been a better drummer to me because kept. Herbie: Yeah. ⁓ Steve: ⁓ bitches! Herbie: Yeah! Shamus: in that class, those had to read music and all that stuff. And I went and played football and ice hockey know, in hindsight, ⁓ that's all we did have then was like a class or like you went to somebody's house and somebody sat down with you and taught you like now you can just go up on Google and like, it's pretty crazy. But like, I'm learning. I'm stuff off eight, nine, 10 year old behind drums. I'm like, look at these. ⁓ Herbie: You know, is it really think about it? Cause like, like you just said, like you kind of looked at it and you're like, I don't want to do it. And you're like, you would actually have to do the research, you know, now research like back in the day, you'd actually have to physically research it. Like if you did like a book reporter and stuff like that, you know, a paragraph. Oh yeah, man. You do it like exactly, man. People like encyclopedias, man. All you have to do is just like click it up. All the information's there. You know what I mean? It's just so much easier. Steve: out of the inside. Shamus: Have you ever thought about giving lessons or anything like that to kids or? Steve: Nah, not really. mean, I, I, there's people in my life along the way where their kid is like, my kid wants to play guitar and I always have some guitar in the closet and I want to show them. But then you quickly realize what you don't know about the guitars. Why would I lead this? I, I, I say to myself, I don't want to lead this kid down the same wrong path I took. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: ⁓ But I've seen you talk to Connor about you know Connor and that crew and his buddies and all that stuff Herbie: giving pointers and stuff. Steve: You always think the kids are sharper. First of all, I give them more credit, not just those kids, but I give kids more credit than I should because these kids today, I mean, there's a reason there's that saying. But you so you think you're talking to them and they fundamentally might have what you're talking about. But then you realize that, you know, Shamus: Well, they don't have an attention span anymore either. Steve: You fundamentally might not know what you're talking about. There's only so much, know, you might know a lot about something, but if you don't know it all and you can't tie the ends together for them, maybe you should just let them take their own ways. I just try to tell them some simple things that saved me time. Try to save you about three or four years on just some simple concepts and that you can clearly go back and reference on YouTube, which is what's so excellent. There's nothing like that. That is the biggest. Herbie: spiders and stuff. Steve: I mean, I'm doing it and I'm 57 years old. I've not been playing since eighth grade. I am sitting here with my guitar on the couch all the time. Just relearning old seventies tunes, catching what I missed, thinking of new, ⁓ you know, looking at all these great exercises, but, and, and, and like I said, by default, which is really cool learning a little bit more about music, you know, The boring part of it where you're like, yeah, well, this is does this is how that ties with that? And now I'm not fucking up in front of everybody. You know what I Herbie: Basically your experience is like through like trial and error. You know what mean? So it's like, it's not really like you were taught it or like you learn tech that the technicalities of it or the technical part of doing the whole thing. just like trial and error and rinse and repeat, man. You know? Steve: What the problem with that is by the time you get that far you feel like you got it you become completely crippled Yeah, I mean between the job that we've been talking about all this time where everything I do is grabbing enormous piles of just paper and trying to hang on to it You know, it's just constant all day whether it's whether I'm picking it up as the full-size sheet And then busting it down to the little ones. I got a tray It's still a big chunk and then you go home and you just spend hours doing this Shamus: my finger. ⁓ absolutely. Steve: Look back on. Look how, look how, at the, by the way, at when I was, yeah, like 20, at my first bindby job, this finger got, this tip got sliced off right here. can see how it went, damn, they sliced it right off. See how did? Huh? Shamus: You can still play with that. They reattach that and you can still play with that. Uh-huh. That's crazy. ⁓ yeah. Now look, I've never noticed that about you, buddy. You've always given me the other finger. Steve: Yeah, you can see how split it really is. Herbie: Yeah. Okay. ⁓ I said he loves you, man. I said he loves you. He gives you the good finger. Shamus: Well, that's what recently because I have a couple of guitars laying around upstairs. So every once in a while, fumble around with them and stuff. But right before Adam passed away, he we got attacked by two dogs, like our neighbors dogs up the road a little bit. And one of the dogs grabbed me by the finger. And I have like it cut like pretty much ripped my finger off. So now when I go to bed, I can't like you can see right there. I can't bet. So like trying to get. It's kind of a pain in the ass. Herbie: Yeah. Steve: This is just, yeah, it's never ending. Yeah. Like that. So I was up all night. Herbie: Because you're constantly working your hands and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. ⁓ Shamus: Tuck's getting old too, man. Steve: the tiger bomb ⁓ Shamus: Does it work? Wow, it holds it in, seals it in. I was thinking about. Yeah, man, can imagine. How come you never I mean, you want to play the Malacca's, but how come you never played anything? Herbie: It was like, always thought like, if I wanted to play like, uh, instruments and I could keep time and beat and stuff like that, you know, like I can actually just like use my hands to like tap on like something and it sounds like a, drum and stuff. But I always thought of like, yeah, maybe I'd like to play like saxophone or piano, like Steve said, but, um, I just never was really around. I was never really, um, in that type of environment. You know what mean? It was like, I was a kid, it was like, you know, the sports, you know, doing ninja stuff, know, star Wars, star Wars and ninjas and all that stuff. like all my, my fun stuff was just basically. Shamus: Dude at the Steve: I think. He is destined to be a singer, though. That's why I was always like, I mean, he's so animated. Herbie: Yeah Shamus: He didn't Herbie: Yes. Steve: If you were going to be involved in any of that, you should be. You're a front man. You're a natural front man. Thanks, man. Who's uninhibited, uninhibited, whatever that is. Herbie: is too short though man like I would actually be like. Steve: He's got a great voice, great projection, great personality. There's no way and can hear the tone. He's not out of key. There's no way. There's no way you shouldn't have been singing songs all the. Herbie: like like I'll sing stuff. ⁓ Shamus: I've heard you singing Bob, like he said, pretty good bud. Herbie: I mean, it's not like training or not like that. You know, of course not. Steve: No, but think how cool it would have been if we were to die. said, I was the one that said we have to do that tool song and let her and her be saying that. Herbie: I remember like sober, sober, like it was years ago. Shamus: Yeah, we did. did that before. Everybody does that. Herbie: I was saying that before too, cause like there's sometimes like, you know, a groundskeeper Willie or car facts, Abby and stuff like that. I'd get up there and do a couple of songs and stuff too. Or even like, um, just like house parties, know, like my buddy Joe, Joe ball Savage, whether he would have like this huge, like party out in Browns mills and stuff in the backyard. It was like a horseshoes and all that stuff all day. it just Bobby's, you know, we would set up his stuff and I'd be out there singing like disturbed and all that stuff back in the day. Steve: Yeah, these guys got no fear of the microphone. Or people, or just being out right, you're just uninhibited. Herbie: Sharks scare me. ⁓ Shamus: I asked him to help me with the stock. The only person I've ever heard, there's two people on this planet I know who like sharks and there's this and hopefully we're going to have her on the show is a lady friend of mine, Colleen, who lives in Riverside. Yeah, girl. I grew up with and then the comedian Anthony Juslinick, who got thrown off of Comedy Central because of his skit. He did. He had his own show and he's called, you know, shark attack. If anybody in the world got bit by a shark or killed by a shark, he'd have like these strippers come out dressed as sharks He was like, yeah, there was a shark attack and I was like, yeah, everybody's freaking out. So besides Anthony Jesimek and Colleen Avery. I have no idea who likes our sharks Herbie: mean like like they're amazing creatures. You know what mean, but I'm not like yeah Still to this day. I don't go in the frickin ocean or not like that Steve: Dude, just enough to get your feet wet. Get out. Herbie: especially everybody in Jersey, you know, like Jersey, everyone runs to the shore. And I'm like, cool, man. But it looks like fricking mop water. It's like dirty mop water. You can barely see the bottom. Like even I went to like Bermuda and stuff like that. I've been to like Acapulco did snorkeling and stuff. Had a couple like crazy little like ran into a Barracuda and stuff like that. I was like, nah, but then like when I was in Mexico, we're on an Academy ran and there were some seals. And I was with, I was with my girlfriend at the time. She wasn't a strong swimmer. I'm not like, I'm not like Prince Namor from fricking Marvel or nothing like that. So I'm not like a super great, yeah, definitely not Aquaman dude. So we're getting off the catamaran and I see like these seals like up on the rocks. And of course my first thing is like, you know, it's just like that typical, like, uh, you know, movie where you see like all the, all the white, uh, Shamus: Yeah. Herbie: and tourists like in Mexico ⁓ like spread out. And then there's like this big frickin shark that just like starts gobbling people up. And like my, my, my girlfriend at the time, she was just like treading water, but she was snorkeling, but we're like basically like slow going around in circles. ⁓ when I saw the seal, the seal lions, I was like, ⁓ the hell do ⁓ eat? Sea lions. I was like, we're getting I got it. I granted I was like, I was looking around, man, because everyone else was like spread out. And I, I intentionally like brought us to the middle. So like if the shark did attack, it would be like the people like out, like in the perimeter. But after a while, we just kept on swimming in a circle. I was, and I grabbed, I was like, are you having fun? She's like, yeah, I like, let's get back on the goddamn boat. Cause you see those goddamn sea lions right there. Shamus: the rocks for a reason, hon. Herbie: And everyone else is just snorkeling and stuff. I'm like, yes, I'm trying to do now that stuff. So like, I'm not, I'm not really great with swimming, but I do watch animal planet a lot. So I get a rough idea. Like, What the things that want to eat me, what they like to do in their techniques, man. It's good to learn that stuff. in case. Steve: Yeah, I don't remember last time I went for real fishing out even out in the ocean was on that Miss Barna get we went out there at nighttime Y'all know I'm talking about the night Blue fishing boat. Yeah We went out at nighttime and it was pretty packed boat and it got nasty out there and we went away out You know, you're out like 26 miles. I think is how far they go sometimes a 14 mile trip some 20 Anyway, there was I was like the only dude who wasn't sick because everybody started drinking we left when the Sun was still up But it was dark by the time we got where we were going and you fished with those glow sticks the globe. Yes, and uh One of them deals and I was out there like Gilligan in the rain. I was on the front of the boat I did not bother me. It was raining and there was one other dude Most people were laid out no shit in the in in cabin and some cat caught a shark about the size of this table Because it was taking them forever to reel it in. I was like, I was like, uh, I was like man, what a pussy make I can't get this bluefish I'm like, but I guess he's gonna win a thing cuz yeah Okay, barely getting it in when the gaff kid came over and snacked it he was just big dude, man He got that thing up. I could not believe you know, yeah, cuz y'all really believe that we I'm always like shark. Yeah, sure my ass whatever not Herbie: It's like the only one caught a fish. Steve: But in the odds, but here it was right under the boat. This guy fucking caught the thing and this kid picked it up over his head. He said, you want this thing? And I was like, no. And I was like, ⁓ I'm trying to I was with Chris doing it. He was laid out to really. I was like, got to come see this thing, man. And a dude just picked it up like a toy and just chucked it, man. It was like nobody. Nobody believed him. The guy's daughter came up to me. He's like, I caught a shark. He's like, yeah, walk back. Nobody believed him. I was just like scared shit out of me, Herbie: ⁓ Shamus: He wouldn't take it that long for a bluefish, because bluefish aren't assholes. Sorry, some asshole. Steve: wish we would have hopped right in there for you. Herbie: I got a nice little fight to him, but yeah, there was, Steve: They're cool. I enjoy that but now I would never go you know There's nothing more scarier to me than that scene it with Tom Hanks It's not enough that he fucking crashed in the plane that whole scene. Yeah, but now you're in the water now It's pitch dark you just survived an airplane crash and now you're in this little raft once again the size of this table And you're just in the biggest storm of your life in the middle There's nothing more frightening that to me man because it's just what's gonna happen next Herbie: Yeah. ⁓ this just drives me nuts, Steve: I'm gonna get eaten. I'm gonna drown. I mean, you know these giant swells and then he hits that island Yeah, you see he's the silhouette of that. You don't know what that's that is the scariest shit Yeah, so I don't go out in the ocean like that. Yeah, no way I'm not flying definitely not flying. I have no reason to leave this country. I'm not leaving this country at this point Shamus: Do fly over it? Herbie: I fly, I do fly, to other countries and stuff, I hate to fly, I do. I just, I'm white knuckle at the whole time, basically. ⁓ Steve: Yeah, I won't. Shamus: flight part of it I just hate the people on the plane. ⁓ Herbie: Yeah, well actually I got a lot like I think maybe one plane ride I had it like, know, just like a Small incursion, but that was like it wasn't like ⁓ physical Steve: It's too confining, that airplane for me. Shamus: You know what else fucks me up? When you're a kid and you're getting on a plane, you see the guy like, hey, welcome aboard. I'm your pilot. Now when you get on a plane, the dude's like 30, like he's 20 years younger than you. And you're like, yeah, yeah. Hey, Biff, you're flying this plane. And he's like, yeah, you know, some kid who's just like, holy shit, man, like this preschoolers flying this plane. Herbie: Thank Years ago ten years ago that that captain was playing flight simulator Steve: So thank That's for the... Everywhere you guys realize everybody that's in charge is younger than me. I don't like this. Yeah, that's going on and the police the medical people people everybody thinks they're in charge when I see politicians or the or all the you know, I Used to worry Karen's that are just know, it's my Giving you instruction stop stop it. Yeah. No, I don't even take instruction from signs. What are you talking about? Shamus: Exactly. Herbie: I will take instruction for like, know, using like, you know, technology equipment, cause I'm like that person. Like even like when I tap, it's like that one tap tap when I'm typing, but a little bit faster. Shamus: I'll kind of... Like in my line of work, being, you know, ex law enforcement, all that stuff like that. Now you got like now that you're not the tip of the spear anymore and you're retired. Yeah. When I work with troopers, like some of them look at like the one chick who's the liaison is actually really cool when she understands like my background. But like when you get these new guys and they just look like, ⁓ he's a security guard. Motherfucker. Steve: I this is way off the chart, like, um, like when I was always, I always felt out of place when I'm around people of like yourself of authority at the job. mean, not shame as the person does. I mean, like when I was like, uh, laid off way 2006, was, my pop was trying to get me into a Shawnee high school thing or whatever that's called. Let it be high school district at janitorial. And I was part-timing it and I'm at. And so you had two different versions of that right away. If you worked on a day, you were there with all the kids again. Creepy. I don't want to be near these girls. I don't want to be near any of these kids and make eye contact with not a one of them. Right. Because they're all knockouts, first of all. And you're not supposed to. You're supposed to be. You're the janitor. First of all, you're living that in your head. Right. You know, that's why we got it's got some good sexual advice for you. I've been there. need some good love. Herbie: You're the janitor! Dude, buy those trash cans at Wawa, man, you know? Steve: Come into the janitor's closet, youngster, and let me give you some worldly advice. One of those. But no, but then I was just there at nighttime, which was way cooler. But you're just walking around school, clean up shit. But when I was there during the day being a pot smoker that I was and that, you, it's 2006 sevenish, wherever that might have been. So it's not like it is now. Yeah. Bowls everywhere and all that shit and stores and dispensary. So I still always feel guilty because I've been a pot smoker my whole life. So whenever I'm around. that group of people like I saw I'd be coming through school and I'm just like, I'm all stoned and I'm doing my thing. And then all of a sudden you turn the corner by the main office door. Right. There's that dude. The undercover retired Popo that they pay. And then the real moral to Popo and then the two type gym teachers that are just left. They smell it on you. ⁓ Herbie: guy And... Shamus: And just got done teaching the drug class. Steve: I'm just like, I'm walking through like, hey, what's up? Yeah, I'm part of the group. If something goes down, don't worry. I'm on. Yeah, I'm here too, Herbie: Some people sound like, where's Steve? He's in the closet smoking a bowl. God bless him. Steve: So I did go down there in Cherokee during there's fistfighting the hallway. I'm fucking walking around doing my sweep up shit with the walkie talkie and they do a lockdown. They locked the shit down there. It was just when shit started getting real. Yeah, because we had our shootings was a big deal and all that. I think this teacher, he sees me go around. He's like, get in here. He pulls me into the classroom. He shuts and locks the door now. You how it is when you're the kids that first of all, something's going down and they're excited. Shamus: And so Herbie: I Steve: Meanwhile, I'm now in their classroom and I got the egg because I got the speaker. I mean, I'm getting inside information. They're all gathering around everybody. What's going on in my own. I don't know. Somebody's getting their ass beat. And I'm like, think I got to go help and to say, don't go home. I'm like, all right, well, well, let me answer this question here. Number C on the board right here. I could tell you that's photosynthesis, right? It's always photosynthesis. guys. Herbie: Yeah. And for multiple choices, always say just go see. Steve: with photosynthesis. is class and there's it's pre-algebra. Okay. Yeah. Maybe I should. But it was cool. It was just funny. Well, no, I didn't. liked it. No, I don't like. No, I mean, there's a lot of fun aspects when you're near all those kids and you think back to your high school days. But for a guy like me, it's problematic because I'm not professional enough to do a job. Shamus: Enjoy that job. Herbie: be like that cool guy for like the cool janitor. Cause I got there was a cool janitor guy from breakfast club. Then there was like that one little creepy guy from Billy Madison. Yeah. Groundskeeper Willie, you know, you got. Steve: gonna break rules. Shamus: Keep her welly. Steve: I felt self-conscious. Shamus: did that job for 87 days once. When I retired from the state in April, I needed a job because the company that hired me to be school security, they're like, we can get you in, but we can't put you into school until September. Yeah. I was like, man, I needed something to do this summer. I worked at Medford right around the corner here at one of the middle schools as a janitor. And I started May 1st. So I really didn't get to see too much of the kids because they had summer break in June. But man, I'll tell you what, that was one of the best 87. I had so much fun there And dude, was so and then that summer, like having an empty school, we used to fuck around. We got everything done. But man, it was so much fun, dude. I had I had. Steve: hit in the music room. I'll say was cool. They had a lot of cool instruments. had a gas. mean the music room at Shawnee high school was awesome and I would spend a lot of time in there and not working at all. was just in there pulling around at the, you I'll name it. They got it. went to Cherokee. Okay. I cleaned it Shawnee and I cleaned that Cherokee and Cherokee is where I felt the most uncomfortable because I live in this town. Shamus: Where'd you to school? Steve: And I always felt like I'm around authoritative people and I smell like weed and I should be comfortable with the job. I'm in the parking lot getting high for I go into work. Shamus: Get in there. Herbie: Go into the music room and get to play the bongos, man. You're good to go. Steve: Gone. Shamus: What I was getting at was Riverside was a smaller school and I guess the budget kind of sucked. And I just remember like like the musical instruments were musical interests. Yeah. Like in Medford around the quarter, man, they had like Fender Jazz basses. had like all these like. some of the money they had in instruments, like even their drums, they were all like D.W. or Pearl. Steve: Yeah, if he high school district has good musical equipment, I'll say that. Herbie: Yeah, we didn't have a music room at VOTEC, man. None of that. So where'd you go? Medford, VOTEC. Yeah, this is when it was awesome. Yeah. Home with the Jaguars. ⁓ Environmental science. Shamus: Did you know? You graduated before Bobby. Yeah, that's what Bobby's called. What did you take there? Steve: And we're the kids who are on their last chance before our detention center. Shamus: was. Now Mike Rose got everybody going there. Nobody wants to go to college. Well, everybody wants to go to college. Herbie: mean, that thing changed now, but like, yeah. Shamus: ⁓ it's a totally different animal now. Steve: That's what's his name is joking. They raise you your whole life. You can be anything you want. By the time you get to Aussie age, you can be six things. Shamus: Yeah. Herbie: Funny thing too, was like when I was in environmental science for like, like three years and the, ⁓ Mr. Moore, teacher actually retired. So across from us was horticulture. So they basically took like everybody over into horticulture and I was like, what? Come on, man. Like I'm not into flower arrangements and stuff. So they just basically, I guess they try to make it like, you know, landscaping and horticulture. So like the senior year, like shop was like, I mean, it was fun. Cause I didn't really do my, we did a couple of like landscaping projects. I felt so bad the one time. Cause the, during like the past, like the high school, like, um, the horticulture teacher hated me. Cause I was always like over there or horticultural, that's where you know, lot of the chicks were there too. was like high school, was like flirting with them. know, she didn't like me over there all the time. So like one of the first, like the first week when they brought us back over to there, um, They had us doing like lawnmowers and all this stuff. And I felt so bad too. Cause like, was like, I wasn't, I was trying to get like in her good graces. was like, she's going to be like my teacher for the year. So I'm starting this big, huge lawn landscaping, lawnmower in the back and a mowing the lawn and stuff. And everyone's out there, the teacher, the girls, and like the lot of the dudes from my, shop and everything. And also I just like, push it along more and also just here and just like it looks like a horror movie just like meat chunks just flying out of the baby bunnies. Yeah dude it was like I act like it was like I guess a rabbit hole. And when I rode the, you know, of course I'm mowing the lawn. Cause it was like, you know, it was like the first beginning of school. it was like the grass was still high. So we're like, we're cleaning it out and stuff. And I'm just like, just wiped out a whole family of bunnies, man. felt so bad. Yeah. The girls are freaking out. The teacher looked at me like I was the biggest asshole. I felt so bad, man. Cause it was just like, you could see like the like bunny chunks, man. was, I was like, Oh my God, this is horrible. It felt so bad. Herbie kills puppies. Yeah. Bunny killer, bunny killer, bunny killer. Jesus Christ. It's a shame, Shamus: you Herbie: to wrap. Steve: This was great if the prescription drugs and the the complimentary drinks were awesome, I'll be glad to come back at any time Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: the labels for it. Herbie: ⁓ At least we can do for all the jokes. Steve: The instructions. and keep. Shamus: Yeah, no doubt. for coming by, buddy. Yeah, we're gonna have you on again. Thanks everybody listening.