Latest / The Family Teams Podcast / Ep. 221 | Why Chores are Good for Kids

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Ep. 221 | Why Chores are Good for Kids · The Family Teams Podcast

• 0:00
  You're basically robbing from your children the ability for them to learn this roll up our sleeves and pitch in mindset.
• 0:12
  What's up, guys? Jeff and Jeremy here. Another episode of 5-Minute Fatherhood. Fun topic for today, chores and why they're good for kids and actually why the science backs this up. Now, I don't think we have time to go on to the nuance of this discussion in five minutes. And what I mean by that is like for money, for not money, et cetera. We're not talking about that. I'm not talking about allowance. I don't think maybe, and maybe Jeremy, you will. But I
• 0:37
  of kind of a teamwork mentality and kind of weekly rhythm of not just the mom and the dad cleaning the house, right? That everyone contributes to the sustainment of the, is sustainment a word? I don't think it is. Sustaining for the nature of the house.
• 0:53
  Um, and that is like the, the data backs that up. Now there is different things to talk about with the money and all that. We, we, we aren't a big fan of that, of the, the pay for chores thing. Uh, we don't do that because I think this is why we're going to get into, we want to see, show that, no, no, this is what it means to just be on this team. What it means to be on this team is to contribute. We're not doing this for financial gain or anything.
• 1:12
  Now there's other things and side projects. Well, one, one great way. And a friend even does this and we'll do this now here soon. Once our kids get a little older is a great segue, by the way, just for real practicality of like, yeah, the general, like whatever it takes to run the house, we're all doing that together for free as a team work together, blah, blah, blah. But there's kind of like almost side projects that are bonus. That's like, Hey, if you want to exert some extra work, you want to go do that yard thing that does, that is not a chore that doesn't need to get done. And you know, and we want to negotiate about that. That's a whole different story. And those ones are financial. So that's kind of a fun both. And I think I see a lot of people do. That's really helpful.
• 1:41
  But yeah, what would you say, Jeremy? And where do you think this conversation is necessary? Yeah. Well, you guys, it's so important if you feel at all, even the tiniest, tiniest twinge of guilt when you ask your kids, I need you to clean the kitchen. I need you to help me wipe the toilet. I need you to vacuum the living room. And that shows you there's a problem.
• 2:03
  Yeah, just stop for a second and think. You guys, you are doing your kids a favor when you are absolutely insisting that they help with chores. Or else you're just building consumers. And this is so clear, you guys, but it's fun to see science back this up. Rachel from our homeroom, she posted a TED Talk, and it was basically describing a study that looked at
• 2:26
  homes in which kids were required to do chores and homes in which they were not, and their future success. And so the study found that professional success in life, which is what we want for our kids, comes from having done chores as kids. The earlier you started, the better.
• 2:43
  Roll up your sleeves and pitch in mindset, a mindset that says there's some unpleasant work. Someone's got to do it. It might as well be me. That's what gets you ahead in the workplace. So it was interesting to watch. You know, the whole article was about how to help kids succeed professionally in the workplace. But I thought it was really helpful that they did a scientific study around this.
• 3:06
  And I think that oftentimes as parents, again, we can feel a twinge of guilt, particularly for really unpleasant chores and think, well, I should do that. And you're basically robbing from your children the ability for them to learn this relationship.
• 3:22
  roll up our sleeves and pitch in mindset. It is so important for kids to feel that. Now, of course, if your goal is to help your kids become amazing fathers and mothers, this is even more important. So this whole study was about the workplace. But man, if your kids basically say, I don't know how to force myself to do unpleasant chores, imagine what kind of father or mother they're going to be, right? So it's really, really a big deal, you guys. And I like how they said, as early as possible,
• 3:50
  Have that two-year-old help you unload the dishwasher. Have that three-year-old help you set the table. Help that four-year-old wash dishes right next to you at the kitchen sink. Get them engaged as early as possible in doing chores and don't feel guilty about it. And one of the things that they mentioned at the end of this article is there is a drawback. It's that having your kids do chores doesn't necessarily wind up being less work for you as a parent. And so for a lot of parents, we avoid this because it's more work.
• 4:20
  Yeah.
• 4:38
  Uh, and so there is a season or where you're training your kids, where it may feel like more work, but do not let that get in your way, um, of really doing the challenging work as a parent, parenting your kids by making sure that they, they have a, they, they really know where they go in their own heart, in their own head.
• 4:57
  when they're trying to figure out how do I just get myself to do an unpleasant 10 minute task. And I watch my kids just struggle with that. And it's not easy. Like you can tell, like there's a, you know, there's, I just had this conversation yesterday with, with Kyra. I'm like, Hey, can you clean the kitchen? And she's like, no, you know, she was like, really like a mind blowing completely. Yeah. She was like, and I was like, I could have easily said, Hey, no, don't worry about it or I'll do it. But I'm like, that's not good for her. Like,
• 5:24
  I know she's in a really, really cozy position. She's in the middle of a game. And this is probably the perfect time for her to learn to pop up and spend 15 minutes cleaning the kitchen. Again, it's a gift to her. And it's hard as a father or mother to do that. But I don't want you guys to...
• 5:41
  because you've culturally been conditioned to feel guilty anytime you're asking or are insisting that your children help around the house, that you think you're doing something that's injurious to them. That's clearly not the case. We know that through common sense. We know that through the Bible, but we even know that through the scientific studies. Do you guys really make sure your kids are helping around the house and help them figure out how to overcome that resistance to doing unpleasant work?
• 6:11
  Hey guys, if you like this short content on 5-Minute Fatherhood, then you're going to love long-form interviews that Jeremy and I do with other dads just like you over at Dads Building Teams. We go much more in-depth hearing the stories, challenges, and journeys of different dads who are trying to build multi-generational teams on mission. Just go to whatever podcast platform you use and search for Dads Building Teams.