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S3E9 - Parent Companion for Play Therapy: Four Universal Outcomes of Child-Centered Play Therapy · Play Therapy Parenting: Real Parenting Questions Answered by a Child Therapist

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  You're listening to the
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  Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  Hi,
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  I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  The Kid Counselor.
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  This is the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast where I give you insight,
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  awareness,
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  and enlightenment about your parenting
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  and your relationship with your kids.
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  In today's episode,
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  we are discussing
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  the universal outcomes of child-centered play therapy,
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  and this is part of the Parent Companion.
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  Season 3.
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  This is so that you have a sense of
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  what your child is going to gain.
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  Independent of the
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  specific work that your child does,
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  in other words,
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  if your child is especially anxious,
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  your child will absolutely make gains on their anxiety.
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  If your child has low self-esteem,
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  they will absolutely make gains on their self-esteem.
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  If they tend to be aggressive,
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  they will work on their aggressive behavior,
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  so children are going to work on their own individual struggles and issues.
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  But regardless of why a child comes into the child-centered play therapy room
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  and starts the child-centered play therapy process,
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  There are 4 universal outcomes that are proven in research.
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  That are going to take place for your child.
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  So often this is kind of the bonus,
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  you know,
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  you,
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  you get the ice cream sundae with the whipped cream
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  and the sprinkles and then the cherry on top,
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  which you don't really need,
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  but it's kind of nice because it's like that little
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  extra thing that just makes it a little bit better.
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  OK,
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  the universal outcomes kind of serve as that
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  purpose because your child is going to work through
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  their own individual stuff,
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  which is why you seek therapy in the first place.
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  If your child is well adjusted and happy and thriving and is
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  handling life well.
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  Then there's usually not a need for therapy.
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  However,
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  if your child is struggling with something,
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  they will work through those struggles
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  in CCPT.
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  And then in addition to that,
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  they get these 4 universal outcomes.
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  So I want to unpack those for you,
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  make sense of what your child will gain,
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  and really the beauty of CCPT
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  and the outcomes
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  are that they are lifelong.
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  Even into adulthood,
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  your children benefit from these
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  things that they gain.
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  They are going to have this impact their job,
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  their marriage,
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  their parenting,
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  their,
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  the rest of their lives,
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  they're going to have a sense of how CCPT
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  equipped them with these four things.
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  So let's look at them.
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  So the first is
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  an emotional vocabulary.
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  Every child needs a more robust emotional vocabulary.
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  Let me expand that since I'm speaking to mostly adults right now.
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  Every single human being
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  needs an expanded emotional vocabulary.
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  There are far too many adults in this world
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  that have no sense of their feelings.
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  They have no idea what they're feeling,
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  they have no idea how to communicate their feelings.
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  If you don't have an emotional vocabulary and an emotional IQ,
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  you are stunted in so many ways.
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  And so for a child
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  when they participate in child-centered play therapy because
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  one of the things that we do so often
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  is reflect their feelings.
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  They start to build an emotional vocabulary.
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  Another phrase that you might have heard is an emotional IQ.
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  Well,
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  if you are an emotionally intelligent person.
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  You have a sense of what you're feeling.
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  You know how to identify what you're feeling,
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  and then you know how to communicate that feeling so that your needs can be met.
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  If you know someone that gets so angry
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  that they punch their fist through drywall.
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  That is someone that does not have an emotional vocabulary nor an emotional IQ.
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  If you have,
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  if you know someone that giggles when they're nervous,
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  no emotional vocabulary,
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  no emotional IQ.
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  They don't know how to communicate what they're feeling,
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  likely because
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  they don't know what they're feeling,
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  and you will have people that can do one and not the other.
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  But you need both
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  to be able to have an appropriate emotional vocabulary.
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  So what that does for a child
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  is they say,
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  oh yeah,
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  I felt this before.
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  When I felt this way,
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  Miss Brenna told me that I was anxious.
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  Now I know what I'm feeling is anxiety.
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  Now I can say to someone,
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  I'm feeling really anxious right now,
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  then my needs can be met.
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  And see if we don't get an emotional vocabulary.
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  A child is going to behaviorally
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  show you how they're feeling.
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  We would always,
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  because we're rational,
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  we're cognitive,
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  we have abstract reasoning,
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  we as adults would always prefer absolute on purpose
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  that a child will verbally express how they're feeling.
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  But more often than not,
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  kids are not verbal,
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  they don't have an emotional vocabulary,
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  they don't have an emotional IQ so they will show you how they feel.
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  And here's the big disconnect.
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  So when a child gains an emotional vocabulary,
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  it's huge for them.
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  Even into adulthood,
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  it benefits them.
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  So that is first universal outcome.
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  Second universal outcome
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  is regulation.
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  They just developed increased regulation
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  across all environments.
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  They are more regulated
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  emotionally,
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  behaviorally,
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  mentally,
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  socially,
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  academically,
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  you name it,
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  they have increased regulation.
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  They know how to control themselves,
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  they know how to
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  recognize what they need,
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  they know how to adjust accordingly.
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  They're not reactive,
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  they're not explosive.
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  They're more calm,
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  they're more centered.
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  They're more regulated.
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  There are plenty of adults that do not have self-control and self-regulation.
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  But one of the four universal outcomes is increased regulation.
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  So if you have a kid
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  that has high highs and low lows,
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  if you have a kid that's a big feeler,
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  if you have a kid that's sensitive,
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  if you have a kid that seems to be impulsive or volatile.
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  It's dysregulation,
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  lack of self-control.
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  They build this in CCPT.
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  Why?
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  Because we provide them with all kinds of choices.
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  And they are given the freedom
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  to have power and control over the circumstances
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  so that they learn how to control and regulate their circumstances.
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  Kids don't like staying stuck.
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  Kids don't like being in a moment of dysfunction or dysregulation.
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  Sometimes they don't know how to get out of it,
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  but they don't like it.
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  So they are wired
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  to become
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  more regulated
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  if given the time,
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  the tools,
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  and the opportunity.
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  And the play therapist and the playroom
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  provide those conditions where a child can develop self-control.
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  Third universal outcome,
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  increase self-esteem.
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  Every single one of us is on a lifelong journey
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  for identity.
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  We never reach a point where we've arrived.
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  We never reach a point where there isn't more to discover about ourselves.
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  We never reach a point where we can't have a higher level of self-esteem.
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  And especially kids that have low self-esteem.
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  They struggle.
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  They don't feel equipped,
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  they don't feel competent,
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  they don't feel capable,
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  they give up,
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  they have no persistence,
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  they have no perseverance.
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  They
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  don't think that they can handle anything.
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  They live in a state of,
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  I'm at the mercy of my circumstances.
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  Because we encourage,
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  because we use esteem building responses,
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  because they have ultimate power and control in the playroom.
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  They start to go,
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  I'm gonna try this.
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  I'm gonna see how this goes.
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  I think I can do this.
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  I'm going to trust myself.
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  I can handle this.
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  Their self dialogue changes.
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  And as they build self-esteem,
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  self-worth,
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  self-value,
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  self-concept,
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  all of those selves,
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  they're increasing in all of those things.
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  This serves them the rest of their lives.
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  They have a more
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  concrete awareness of who they are,
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  they like themselves,
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  they trust themselves,
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  they accept themselves.
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  If every human being on the planet
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  had a healthy level of self-esteem,
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  not an excessive level of self-esteem,
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  I don't mean ego,
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  I don't mean pride,
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  that's,
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  that's not what I'm saying,
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  but if every person had a sense of who they are and
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  what they're capable of and they liked themselves and they trusted themselves,
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  we would live in a very different world.
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  So that's the 3rd universal outcome.
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  The 4th
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  is increased worldview.
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  And
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  this has a little bit of a different connotation than
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  how you might know the term worldview in other contexts.
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  In this scenario,
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  an increased worldview for a child is
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  as kids they live
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  myopically
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  eye centered.
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  In other words,
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  it's me,
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  myself,
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  and I at all times.
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  It's this moment,
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  it's how I feel,
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  it's an experience
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  and
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  it all comes back to me.
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  That is age appropriate,
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  that is developmentally appropriate.
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  Please don't ever resent your kids.
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  Please don't ever get angry at your kids.
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  Please don't ever feel irritated
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  about the fact that kids are self-centered.
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  That is how they're supposed to be.
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  But what child-centered play therapy does for them
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  because it introduces the relationship component with the therapist.
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  Kids learn.
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  I don't like how I feel
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  when I cheated at that game.
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  I don't like how I feel when I hurt
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  that person's feelings.
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  I don't like how I feel when I injured that person because I was reckless.
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  I don't like how I feel when
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  fill in the blank.
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  That comes from relationship in the playroom.
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  It comes from the unconditional love and acceptance that we provide to kids.
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  Kids behave in self-enhancing ways
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  when there is a solid relationship there.
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  So the relationship comes from the therapist and the child is able to say,
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  I don't want to live like that.
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  I'm learning that actions have consequences.
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  I'm learning that my
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  behaviors influence more than just me.
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  There's an impact beyond just this moment.
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  It's not just here and now about my needs.
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  If I say something,
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  it hurts people.
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  If I do something,
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  it
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  has an outcome that's negative.
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  There are consequences.
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  And they learn over time to avoid
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  outcomes
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  that they don't like.
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  It's an increased worldview.
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  And what's fascinating is these universal outcomes work together.
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  In other words,
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  as the child increases their self-esteem,
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  they naturally increase their regulation.
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  As they increase their regulation,
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  they naturally increase their worldview.
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  As they increase their worldview,
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  they are building a
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  more robust emotional vocabulary,
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  so now they're able to communicate more effectively,
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  which allows them to regulate,
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  which builds their self-esteem.
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  You can see how this this builds.
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  So one skill and acquisition begets the growth of others.
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  And it becomes this really interesting
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  swirl
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  of all of these growing
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  and continuing to heal the child
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  also in conjunction with the individual work that the child is doing.
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  Keep in mind these are the four universal outcomes.
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  Every kid will experience these 4
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  in addition to whatever else they're working on independently.
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  So
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  the notion that CCPT
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  Is going to help your child with what's going on right now.
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  That's absolutely true.
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  But the greater notion that it will help them
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  develop things that will benefit them for the rest of their lives,
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  that every parent would want for their kids,
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  potentially more important and true.
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  Because I don't know any parent that would say
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  they don't want those 4 outcomes for their children.
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  And CCPT provides it.
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  So it's really exciting to watch these develop
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  in kids and watch this come to fruition
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  as we provide child-centered play therapy to the clients with whom we work.
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  So I hope that that gives you a sense of
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  what the universal outcomes are and how they're acquired.
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  And obviously,
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  if you are not working with a play therapist.
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  These are things that you can help your children develop
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  with the skills that you've taught that that we've
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  talked about.
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  So if you reflect feelings,
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  if you encourage and esteem build,
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  if you provide choices,
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  these are what help your children develop
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  those kinds of outcomes.
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  So that's a powerful tool that you can use in your parenting as well.
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  If you would like to reach out to me,
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  I would love to hear from you,
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  brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
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  I love you all.
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  Thanks for pouring into your kids.
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  We'll talk again soon.
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  Bye.
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  Thank you for listening to
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  the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks.
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  For more episodes and just subscribe to our newsletter,
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  please go to www.playtherapyparenting.com.