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Why do narcissists like to monkey branch between relationships · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Narcissist and monkey branching. Why do narcissists bounce from
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  relationship to relationship without stopping, without any
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  type of stuff in between? Why can't they just be by
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  themselves for a little while? That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back folks. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, the narcissist in their
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  endless hunt for supply. Why can't they just be by
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  themselves? Why can't they just heal and
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  chill? Why can't they just figure out?
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  But why do they monkey branch so much?
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  Why can't they just be by themselves and just stay?
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  Stay to themselves and just thrive or whatever the case may
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  be, whatever happens in that situation right there.
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  Why do they monkey branch so Dang go much.
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  So if you don't know a monkey branch in this job, it's grab it
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  on like like a monkey grab it onto 1 branch before you before
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  before you let go of another one.
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  It's like pretty much in relationship terms, it's like
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  overlapping. Like why do narcissists tend to
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  overlap their relationships? Why do they do things like that?
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  Why do narcissistic people tend to go about that way and do
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  their things and do things like that?
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  Why does this continue to happen right here?
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  Why do they go and and say to say, say the things that they do
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  and do the things that they do? Why?
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  Why can't they be by themselves? Yeah, let's keep it high.
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  Most narcissists have a fear of be by themselves because they
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  don't want like say because it's it's just about be by
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  themselves. It's the aloneness.
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  The feeling of being alone for a narcissist or a types of person
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  is overwhelming. It literally is.
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  It's one of those things that can make you feel like you bout
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  to get damn destroyed. The feeling of it like say when
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  I'm like me personally when I'm alone with my thoughts they
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  attack me. So for a narcissist, they can't
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  be by themselves because they always require some type of
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  external validation from someone else in order to feel whole, in
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  order to feel like you have yourself on good footing and
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  things like that, in order to go about doing it in different ways
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  and whatnot. This is what happens.
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  So this is something you have to consider, right?
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  Y'all, quite seriously, it's one of those things that you
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  absolutely have to consider, one of those things that absolutely
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  needs to be done and what not in these situations moving forward.
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  Like it's not you. The reason that they monkey
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  branch to someone else is because they can't stand to be
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  by themselves because of what happens, because of what goes
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  on, because of you know, how things transition and whatnot.
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  That's how it goes right there. It really is like I can't stand
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  the thought of me being alone, so I have to have someone else
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  even before the relationship ends.
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  And I know that's what that's what gets on people right there
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  like Lee, why don't they just end it with us first if they're
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  so unhappy with us before they get into another relationship?
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  Why is there damn near always some type of overlap?
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  And a lot, a lot of y'all might have actually experienced this
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  overlap in these relationship dynamics with narcissists,
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  right? Because if you talk, if you ever
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  talk to the new supply or you ever became friends with the new
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  supply, whatever, or the old supply or not, right?
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  If that, if that ever happened, if you ever became friends with
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  the old supply and that type of stuff happened, you talk to them
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  and you realize like, hey, he's still, he started dating you a
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  month after we broke up or she started dating.
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  She started dating you a month after a month before we broke
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  up. You can see the overlap.
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  You realize the overlap. You see you, you get a hold of
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  the overlap and that's the way it be going, you know, and this
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  is how narcissistic people operate, y'all?
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  They don't want to be by themselves.
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  They can't stand the thought of being alone because that damn
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  near destroys them. It just does.
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  It's one of those things that just it, it, it really does
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  destroy us from the inside out. Like when I'm alone, my thoughts
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  attack me when I'm single like that.
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  So when I'm single, my thoughts attack me, make me feel like I
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  have no worth or I have no value.
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  So in order for me to feel good about myself, in order for me to
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  just feel any type of strength about myself, I hop into a
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  different relationship. I go back, you know, I hop into
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  a different relationship while I still have the original
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  relationship going on as well. You see how that works right
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  there? I do that while I still have the
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  original relationship going on too.
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  So I don't have to stand at the I don't have to be alone.
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  So this is something you have to think about to y'all.
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  This is what goes on in the mind of a narcissist.
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  I don't want to be alone. So I make sure that I have
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  someone else a backup plan, so to speak.
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  And sometimes, y'all, you might be the backup plan.
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  Say what, Lee, you might be the backup plan.
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  It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.
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  If you're with a narcissist, right, and they're trying to
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  monkey branch to someone else, they might treat you as a backup
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  plan. They might monkey Brent.
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  Like, sometimes the monkeys get caught up, right?
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  They don't let go of the branches.
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  They still hold on to look, they still hold on to this vine, this
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  vine back here and gripping onto this vine right here.
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  So I'm gripping onto both vines at the same time and refusing to
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  let them go. Like, even though I want to
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  swing over here, I'm refusing to let this go.
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  So I'm going to swing it back and forth.
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  I'm monkey branching, right? I'm monkey vine branching,
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  right? I'm monkey vining right here,
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  right? I'm refused to let go of this
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  branch, but I'm still trying to hold on to this branch.
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  So I got 2 branches, you see, And sometimes they pull into the
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  third, right? So again, it really is not about
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  you in these scenarios, in these situations right here.
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  It's about the narcissist and the, or the toxic person or
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  whatever the case may be and how that goes right there.
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  You as a, as a person that's dealing with them and understand
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  like, and that's why I try to, this is the point I try to
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  convey to you that is not you. So many people start thinking
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  it's them, like, well, maybe it's me.
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  Maybe I've done something wrong and that's why they are trying
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  to leave me for someone else. Or This is why they are trying
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  to multi date or whatever the case may be.
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  It's not you. Sometimes like, well, well, it's
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  hard for us to understand that it's not us when they're telling
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  us that it's us. When they tell it, when they
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  look at me directly in my face and saying it's my fault, it's
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  very difficult for me to think that it's not my fault.
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  Yeah, they sometimes narcissist, they feel like the relationship
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  has run its course, right? You know what I mean by running
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  its courses? I mean, they feel like you're
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  not going to go anywhere. They feel like you're going to
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  stay with them. They feel like you're going to
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  be with them for it for real, right?
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  They feel like you're going to be with them, but they get one
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  inkling that you might leave. They get one inkling that you
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  might leave them or you might you're about to go away from
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  them or you going to break up with them.
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  So they so because they fear being alone, they break up with
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  you. You see, I haven't had it happen
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  right there. They leave you, they go find
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  somebody else. They monkey branch to someone
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  else because they think that you're going to leave them.
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  They think that you're going to go be with someone else or that
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  you're going to leave them high and dry and they're not going to
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  have any type of narcissistic supply.
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  This is the, This is why when you break up with a narcissist
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  and they're not expecting it, This is why a lot of them lose
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  their minds because they don't have any any other any they
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  can't, they don't have a direct source of narcissistic supply
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  here. So a lot of them will absolutely
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  lose their minds in these cases, in these scenarios right here, a
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  lot of them will absolutely, absolutely do this right.
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  This is what happens. This is how it goes.
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  So when you're dealing with a narcissistic person or someone
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  with a narcissistic mindset, they have to have some type of
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  supply. So they think you're going to
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  leave them or they think the relationship has run its course
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  or they're just not getting the same amount of narcissistic
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  supply or validation that they originally got from you.
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  Then they'll try to swing to somebody else.
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  They'll monkey branch to a different person.
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  They'll go and try to be with somebody else.
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  That's that mentality, that's that mindset.
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  Like they don't want to be alone.
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  So they make sure that they have someone else.
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  Like when narcissists are alone, when I mean what I mean by alone
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  is when they're when they're single, they typically started,
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  they typically lose their minds, right?
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  Because it makes me question my worth and my value.
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  I'm by myself. No one wants me, so I must be
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  worthless, right? No one wants to be with me.
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  No one wants to be around me, so I must not be worth much.
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  I'm a bad person. The shame takes over.
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  You become a shield for the shame and that's what ends up
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  happening. You know, sometimes in
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  relationships, you when you do relationship relationships with
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  narcissist you because they're getting some type of supply from
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  you, you become a shield for their shame.
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  Well, what I mean by that is as long as I'm getting some type of
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  narcissistic supply or some type of validation, I, it keeps, it
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  helps keep the shame away. You ever hear the the saying an
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  apple a day keeps the doctor at Bay or an apple a day keeps the
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  doctor away? A relationship a day keeps the
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  shame away for narcissists, right?
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  A relationship a day keeps all the shame away and that's what
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  ends up going on. That's what ends up happening,
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  right? In these spaces, in these
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  situations over the narcissistic person, they feel like they need
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  to be with somebody. They feel like they need to be
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  in relationships. They feel like they need to be
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  around somebody or in order to feel some type of validation in
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  order to feel like they are worthy.
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  So if I don't have anybody, then I don't feel worthy.
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  You have you see the simplistic viewpoint of that right there.
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  If I don't have anybody, I don't feel worthy.
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  So if I think you're going to leave me, then I need to go find
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  somebody else. Or if I'm ready, if I'm, if I'm
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  not getting in the same supply, then I need to go find somebody
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  else. But I still have to hold on to
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  you before I fully let before I fully swing into this new
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  relationship, because I don't know how this is going to go.
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  Now I know you, you and I have been together.
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  You and I have been rocking together.
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  You and I have been in a relationship together.
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  So I know you're you're here with me, right?
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  But if I have somebody else, I don't really know this person.
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  I might be loved Mama, this person trying to get to know
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  them, but I don't really know them at their core.
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  So that's tough. So I'm afraid to fully let go of
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  this branch. So they'll monkey branch to
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  another branch, right? So that's what that's what
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  happened with narcissistic people.
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  They're monkey branch because they're they want and they crave
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  and they need some type of narcissistic supply out.
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  That's that's the crux of it right there.
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• 10:36
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• 11:24
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