Latest / How We 1st Met & Marriage / 📱 CONNECTED ONLINE, DISCONNECTED AT HOME

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📱 CONNECTED ONLINE, DISCONNECTED AT HOME · How We 1st Met & Marriage

• Johnny: What's going on everybody? I'd like to welcome everybody back to another episode of Let's Talk About It. And today I'm your co-host Johnny. And today we finally got Tanya back in the building. Hey. today we're gonna talk about something that's almost everybody has sitting right beside of And I can't show y'all minds right now because I'm using it to record. We're talking about the cell phones, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Text, DMs. We're connected to everybody, everywhere, all day. here's what I want to know. While we're connecting with everybody else, are we disconnecting from the person we're supposed to be building a life with? Our phones keep us connected to family, friends, work, even people we haven't spoken to in years. But can you be sitting right next to your husband, spouse, in the same house, even in the same bed, and still feel like you're all alone? Well, today we're gonna get into emotional cheating, exits, privacy, location sharing, social media, arguments, and even AI given relationships. And we might not agree on everything today. That's what makes the conversation interesting. Let's talk about it. First question I have, when does normal phone use become a problem in a relationship? Depends on what's normal to the individual. Well for me is I guess with probably everybody have a problem with when a person's on that phone more than they pay attention to life. I guess you wanna say, the loved one, kids, work. Some people be at work on the phones all day. so I think that's when the problem becomes issue but I we're talking about relationship not work but I think that's what it is probably pretty much more when you had that phone in your hand twenty four seven bathroom shop they got it where you can be in the shower with it. So So that's what I think. Okay, so is it the amount of time you're on your phone or the amount or the moments you're choosing your phone over your partner? I think it's for me, I believe it's the the time you choose to be on your phone. Like I guess certain times I know we probably all are guilty of this of when you chose to be on your phone when you're with your loved one, let's say at dinner, watching a movie together, you can be in the middle of conversation and you decide to, Hey, let me jump on this phone and it has nothing to do with the date or what's going on at the moment. when you constantly you can be just checking your DMs or just checking notifications on social media, Facebook s Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat. So I think that's more what I mean when I said it depends on when you're checking your phone. That's that's what I I believe with that one. And then you can't you can't really Enjoy your time when you're with your spouse and y you're you're ignoring them. Right. Constantly checking your phone. Every every two, three seconds you you've got to have that phone in your hand and you're checking everything. Yeah. And I can't lie, sometimes a lot of times I'm guilty of 'cause with the podcast and just a lot of stuff going on, I'd be able to check sometimes. All right, question two I have for ya. when do what do you think couples are missing out on when they're always on their phone constantly interrupting interrupting their time together? Missing out on conversation. I would say even date night, like I said, I know I say earlier, but if you're doing a date, you can't enjoy it if you picking up your phone. You can't even order your damn food if you always on your phone. Yeah, and I think think on a lot when you just constantly on your phone and ignoring your spouse or partner or friend. Even if you're with your friend, girlfriends, guy friends, and you just on the phone the whole time, like you can't really enjoy yourself and make memories with the people you're hanging with if you just glued to your phone. I agree one hundred percent. and also if you tr if you're out trying to enjoy yourself at a concert, I guess, and s somebody Com store sweeting into people seem like they'd be on their phone more. I know this a little bit different from couples, but people on their phone FaceTime mean FaceTiming other people who's not the concert are just making a video of themselves more than they en enjoying a concert. Yeah, instead of watching the show, they got the the phone in their face and they looking at they self singing the song. And I'm like, you're not even watching the artist though. So you could have done this at the house and watched it on YouTube at this point. Exactly. I guess another question I have for you is have you ever felt like somebody's phone was getting more attention than you were or and what does that do to the way you feel about that relationship? Yeah. I I felt like that before. I felt like your phone get more attention than I do. Before. But I mean, how did it make me feel about the relationship? in the beginning of our relationship I I had said something about you being on that phone all the time, but I got over it. Like we got kids, he got a job that makes him be on the phone a lot. So felt ignored a little bit and like, okay, well, whatever I'm talking about don't matter because I'll just I'll just I'll stop what I'm saying and be like, I'll just wait till you put that phone down. She lying. She she jumped on me about it. She's trying to be nice. It's just let's talk about it, real conversation. So keep it real. I said before, I calmed down a whole lot about that phone. Yeah she did. She did calm down a lot, but keep it real. She'll jump on my ass on that about that phone. In the beginning again. Okay, everybody, we're gonna move on to our next segment that we have. We're gonna talk about digital cheating and online boundaries. Can you emotionally cheat without ever physically meeting? Wanna say hell yeah. 'cause if you're on it if let's just say if you're talking to somebody and you know you're not supposed to be doing it on from the DMs, text messages. Even if that's that's automatic cheating, even back in old days when it's just had cell phones, it's just you're doing it digital now. So I feel like yeah, this yeah, yeah, that's cheating. 'cause I know if if I'm sitting up here having a whole conversation with a whole another woman about anything and then I gotta delete it and hide it from you, yeah, hell yeah, that's and I I can say I don't even have to never see this person or whatever, but it's still, you know, just talking Talking to them, sharing information, like we're trying to meet up. So that's what I think about it. Hell yeah. What are your thoughts? Yeah, I agree. Anything you do that you gotta hide or anything that any kind of conversation in your DMs, text messages that you wouldn't want me having with another man. If you wouldn't want me to do it, you shouldn't be doing it. That's how that's how I look at that. And that's online or in person. So yeah, again to figure back on what she said on yeah, you gotta hide the stuff. And a lot of people actually people fall in love with people they never even met before, just straight up talking back and forth on cell phones, I mean talking back and forth through text messages, s I guess face to face what they call it, FaceTime. So it's it's it's yeah, it's yeah, hell yeah. I'm I'm Like we said at the beginning, that's just cheating all around. If you gotta hide the shit and go back and forth knowing that you got that ring on your finger, yeah, that's that's cheating. Even if you don't have a ring on your finger and you in a relationship, that's still considered cheating. And so that's how I feel about that. So it feels if you if you agree with us or disagree with us, make sure you leave a comment down below so we can discuss that back and forth. Believe us, we do re we do read our comments and also we we we respond back. which would hurt you more? Physical cheating or finding your s finding out that your spouse is de developing like emotional connection with somebody else? I don't want I don't want that one of It's it's the same, same thing, same thing. To me. I don't I don't w I don't know. That's a hard one. That's a hard one. Cause I know well I'm a barber, so I've I've heard men say that they can physically be with another woman and have no kind of feelings for for her at all. Like be with her and don't talk to her no more ever. But then the emotional that means You you caring you caring about somebody else? You love as you say. You care you you ain't gotta love You you like a little bit? Yeah, I don't want none of that. I now one of for me. Yeah, I I think I think like they both it is a hard question, but I think that find out they have feelings for that person. 'Cause a lot again, some people cheating, hey it can be going out for dinner, it can be having a physical mo a physical relationship, having sex and everything. But When you physically to for for me, when you physically have feelings for somebody, yeah, it's almost to that I'm almost checked out of the relationship or marriage 'cause that means you're starting to losing interest in your spouse. Physical or mental? Everything. Yeah, you're starting to lose yeah, 'cause you don't want to physically you don't want to be around that person 'cause your attention is on the other person. Mentally you can check out of the relationship or marriage. I'm just here till something else better work out. That's what I think about I have a question. When does an innocent online friendship cross the line and become inappropriate for someone who's married or in a committed relationship? When they first say, Hey, how you doing? You know they know where that they know where that's going. you ain't just saying, Hey, how you doing? Like you walking on the street in a grocery store, like, hey, what's good? Nah, you inbox somebody, DM them as they call it these days. Hey, what hey, what's good? How you doing? Wha what's the purpose of doing that? Why are you doing that? You committed in a relationship, are you married? That's not supposed to be you know, that's not supposed to be what you're doing. So yeah, it's it's that's when you know you crossed the line. You already before you even responded. Yeah, that's exactly what you think. I agree. I agree because if I didn't go to school with you, if you you you're not a client, you just some random person that's jumping on my inbox talking about hey online friendship, what's that? If I don't know you personally, yeah, we're not gonna have an online friendship now. I can have some colleagues. Like I have colleagues that that's in the beauty industry from state to state. But I mean if we inbox it, it ain't it's it's not anything inappropriate. It it's a question about some hair, it's some questions about product, where where you get those smocks, but anything other Other than work related with a you're crossing the line. Yeah, like I say, as soon as you say hello, you know what your tension is. they might call it innocent blurring, but it's nothing innocent about that. If your spouse tell you that they're uncomfortable with a certain friendship, should you end that friendship out of respect for your marriage or continue to see work at work work with that friendship? I'm saying it right? No. Well, let me ask you this. Male friendship or female? I guess it don't matter. Yeah, it don't matter 'cause it easy nothing. Where's the third? Where's the 'cause I already knew where you was going. So, okay, to answer the question. Yeah, if you have a problem with any friendship, male or friend or female, friendship that I have, if it's a problem, then the problem solved. Yeah, same yeah. if you're not comfortable. It is what it is. I'm not gonna be comfortable. So I'm not gonna sit up here and be like, nah, that's just my friend, that's just my friend. so now I'm gonna let you I'm gonna like hey, wifey ain't feeling this. I'm sorry, I'm trying to not not mess up my home. Alright, next question I have for you for everybody, not just us, but again, we ask these questions, we remind y'all commenting below. So feel free again, feel free to jump in on some of these conversations. We're gonna do this, we're gonna try to do this live. That way we can have some more audience participating in it. But the next question I have is what makes a friendship inappropriate without assuming every friendship outside of a marriage is wrong? I can For me, I've had a female best friend and I knew from the jump what it was. I knew it wasn't going no further than friendship. it was that just that person like before I got into a serious relationship that I can talk to, vent to, this and that. So it's like just having a friend like shoot. I have I used to have female f friends who talk sports or who just give advice. I've worked with a lot of women in business and it never went no further than just friendship. But again, like we said earlier, you know when it's gonna become something else and that when you feel like it's coming to another level, that's when you should just back away. But I guess if I'm making sense on that question, but yeah, that's I think you'll know you know you you should know when you have a just a friend as a female or male as a as a friend for w for women. Okay, so and I kind of touched on this a while ago. You shouldn't do anything that you wouldn't want me me doing or you shouldn't do anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable if your spouse or significant other was doing. so if you wouldn't say it, like it, comment it, or DM with your spouse sitting beside you, should you be doing it? online at all. I guess that the answer to that question is hell no. You shouldn't be able to you shouldn't be doing anything you shouldn't do you wouldn't be doing in front of your spouse. And as far as like DMing somebody, talking on the phone or you know, whatever I do in front of in front of time, I should be able to do when I'm not there. Same phone conversations, unless it's somebody be like, Hey I got I need to talk to you about something, then that but like I said, just f flirting with everybody else, nah, you you should be able to do the same exact same thing. Alright everybody, we're gonna move on to our next topic for social media. Exes and social media. should exes still be allowed to follow each other and communicate on social media after marriage? Mmm. Should X is like The last X are we talking about the high school X or we talking about it don't it don't matter. X is X. It well, that's a good one. That's a good one. it depends on I guess how things ended, if there was closure, if there's still feelings, if you well, you should be over the X if you're married again, but Yeah, that's that's that's a tricky one. That's a tricky one. I guess for me it should be no because every time I think we all give to this when every time you're on the phone, X talks to X meeting prop and we can be can be walking on the street and you see them, but we're talking about social media. They're gonna say, Hey, how you doing? You know, that's how it always started off. A innocent conversation. In some kind of way, hey, you remember we used to do this, we used to do that, get back into them old feelings about staying the next thing you know, you're on the phone or texting each other for hours. Talking about what y'all did in the past. You remember we used to go to the movies? You know we used to go out to eat to this place and that place? So I think for me, it's a no for me 'cause I don't I don't do the X's cause I out of respect, especially being a man, I know I can always start off like, Hey damn, you know this? Hey man, when the last time you been over there? So for me, I'm not feeling that that X shit. I'm sorry. Okay, well we're gonna go through your Facebook and delete some X's that you still got following you. You can do that after after the podcast 'cause you got some. No, it's not lot. You make me like I was in them streets like that. It's not a lot. And sure, I would I would like to go through too. So I guess okay that's that's let's put a spin on this. so does your answer change if You have children with somebody and you follow your baby daddy or your baby mama on social media. Do you think that's appropriate? Yeah, because that's why you got a cell phone. They can call and I guess it's kind of a tricky thing, but nah, it it shouldn't that's that's a whole different ball game now because you got a kid together, you gotta communicate in case something happened. But again, long as it's about that child. 'Cause again I know how X's are, hey, you know used to do you know we used to do that. It's gonna all circle back to that. I don't care what it is, lest y'all had a a hell of a breakup where police got involved, a couple of fights, files was broken. That's the only way I can see y'all not going there. But again, some people like that type of stuff. they're attracted to it, but nah, I I think yeah, it well, it does change a little bit. Again, only if it's about that child, not other things. And also again you have to communicate because you have a child together. All right, we're gonna move on to the next segment. Privacy, trust, and sharing locations. what's the difference between having privacy in relationship and keep it a secret from your partner? Having prophecy is just that. I have I have my own prophecy. Keeping a secret is deleting Can only call you when I'm not at home, or you can only call me when I'm not at home. I gotta put your name up under somebody else just in case Billy call, he can be Bianca. that's a secret. Privacy is just having my own per because I am my own person, and having my own personal life with and And with and without you. When you're around, when you're not around. I we we all should have some kind of privacy. Yeah, I agree with the privacy thing. 'cause I know I tell you all the time, you got every password I have, so I have nothing to hide. But I tell you every time, do not go through two of my mess two of my my messages, and that's what Troy and Kenneth. That's my privacy. Other than that, you can have the phone, do what you want to do. You got passwords to the emails, everything you have, I have. You have pass I mean past words. We got my password, my pass codes, whatever they say these days. But yeah, when you have privacy messages like sending a message to such and such, yeah, that's that that's just different for me. again, I understand like Chattery, we had this it's it's personal boundaries. And I guess the get back to the the main question, what's the difference between having privacy in a relationship and keeping secrets? But again, like personal boundaries. I know you put a share everything with your spouse, but it might be one of them things where I'm gonna work out on my own This is what I think about it. You can have your privacy, but if it's if you keeping secrets a secret is cheating to me. You cheat. No, it's not 'cause I can be having a secret like I'm gonna put you I'm gonna do a secret dinner for you, I'm gonna do a secret birthday. So I g it can be a lot of different good and bad secrets. Okay, well you're right. I can't even argue with that. I can't even argue. Okay, so what do you think about this? Does being married mean your spouse should automatically have access to everything on your phone? again, like I say earlier, it's a yes and a no. Again, I have my two excuse me, everybody. I have my two private messages, but yeah, everything else, yeah. You you it's it's a go. I have no problem with that at all. Like I say I've I had a problem with it, you wouldn't have none of my passcodes. What's your thoughts? I agree. I mean as much stuff as I forget, I need somebody to help me with my with I need you to help me with my phone. I barely know how to work it, y'all. She's not lying. I know how to get on my booking app and I know how to text y'all back and make them appointments. That's about it. That iphone be getting to me. We're gonna move on to the next question. Should share should couples share their We are locations with each other twenty four seven. What's your thoughts on couples? You know how I feel about what couples say in their relationship. I mean their location. I don't see nothing wrong with it. He don't like it, y'all. I don't see nothing wrong with it. And what if something happened to me and I can't call you and you ain't heard from me in a while? And you calling me and I don't and I can't pick up my phone. How you gonna know where I'm at? Yeah, that's a good question. That's a good follow up I guess. but for me, nah. You don't need my location. I don't need you be like looking at me trying to see what I'm doing all day. I we we supposed to be doing a diary like, what you doing at Pop Popeye's, what you at hit this person. Dang, what you got from the sh what you got from the mall? Yeah, you don't need to see my location. And I'm I'm saying that because I know we don't share locations, but I have friends who have who share locations and some of the stuff they be saying, my wife said, hey, what you doing here or what you doing there or even checking on my I guess now that's that's another subject. I'm about to say checking on my kids' location. I can see that 'cause I don't even do that with my kids, but back to the being relationship part, nah, we don't you're not needing my location. But friends where I was talking about, all that sharing location stuff, nah and and I can see if it was like she said to see what's going on, but you go back to you saying What if I haven't heard from this and that? Most of the time we you you're we hey, I'm heading from work or hey, I'm going here. In my mind I should know she should be home in twenty five minutes, unless she stop at the store. But what if? You tried to get in touch with me and you couldn't get what if something actually happened and you cannot get in touch with me? How you gonna how you gonna find me? How you gonna know where I'm at? You not. That's how we are. That's I don't see nothing wrong with sharing locations. I don't mind sharing mine. And bless best believe I got too much going on to be looking in my phone all day talking about what you doing at McDonalds, we on a diet. What again? While you at the mall. I got I got too much other stuff to do. And this is about Not just us about everybody, so I'm just giving my opinion. Again, I'm just I don't like again because I'm hearing and this is guys' friends that I've heard talk about this and I'm like, Man, are you serious? Why why why they doing this? Why they doing that? For me, I'm like, look, I I I'm I'm at Popeye's 'cause I wanna be. I'm hungry. I've been dieting for three weeks. I need my protein. Well, as far as location sharing, I feel like if you if your spouse don't wanna share locations with you, you should get a kid. A parent, I think somebody should you should have at least one somebody that has your location. Cause this the world is crazy and anything can happen. That's my thing. Anything could happen. And I need somebody to find find me. And then the the the answer your question, if I know you didn't make it home in time, shit, you always on the phone with somebody, either your mama, me, your sister, your kid. So I can be like, Hey, have y'all t heard from Tanya? It she normally takes 25 minutes to get home. Now it's Twenty six minutes. thirty minutes if I didn't hear from I'll be that's when I if I call you and I can't get in contact, but you didn't that's my location, your family. So and you never go from work to home without being on the phone. So I I I'm pretty sure. so that's that's my I know I'm not just listening to this music. Yeah, you I've been with you for ten years, so I know every time you walk in that door, hey yeah, I'm gonna call I'm I'm at home with the husband. I'm out I'm gonna call you back, or whatever you just saying. So that's my that's my answer to that one. I don't see nothing wrong. Sure. Location. Yeah, I ain't getting my location. My location nah. Next question. The social media relationship. This is one that crazy because you so many people, before I get to the question, nah, this this might come in my it might come in with my answer. So I guess I'm gonna say let's go on to the question that we received. Can posting too much about a relationship actually hurt the relationship? What's your thoughts on that? relationship actually hurt the relationship I guess like this I don't think so. I guess to give you example, I guess like posting too much personal information, like you see people who post like arguments, financial situation or private conversation that you might have had with me and you sitting up there going to the social media like, Hey y'all, what y'all what you think about this? what do you think about that? So I guess I don't know if that makes sense to help you answer it. That makes more sense. So if in that case, then yeah. You need everybody in your business. That's what I always preach. I tell everybody that Yeah. Don't push it. Yeah, it can it can hurt it. You're putting everybody else in your business. Now you gotta get it now you're about to listen to advice from all these different p people that read your comment or read your post. Now they wanna comment and now you got all these different people in your ear, yeah, it can hurt it. Yeah, and also you might be you might be in a relationship with that one person who loves to post everything and then you have my that person like I got some friends that don't even don't like social media. They only on social media just to be saying, Hey what's up other than that but like I like I say if you got that you that person that don't like say social media and and your spouse or whatever, they just keep on posting stuff, posting stuff like I'd be like, damn, some stuff is left for privacy. You I don't wanna be out eating and you posting, Hey, we in a we out in dinner, you taking pictures and posting videos and all that stuff or we just I don't know, you know, I just I think I think it can hurt your hurt hurt your relationship really bad. Again, like I was saying, some people just some guy some guys in f in in in f in females do not like to be on social media every time. So you it's And I respect that because not every not everything is meant for social media, especially in relationships. You do not need to know personal stuff. You you get on there and and and this is what I hate when y w if we going through something and and I'm s not just not just us, but like I said I'm just giving examples. If you if you go on through something and then you repost some bullshit, to me it's bullshit because we just argued about that and I see you l give it even though you got one like but you put an extra like on it. And you repose it, to me that's that that hurts because I'm like, God damn, now even if nothing's wrong with it, you just still reposting something that make people like, Damn, if she reposts that, what's really going on? reposting somebody else's meme or something? yeah, the meme that's something let's just say like if we just got into it and it can be the exact same thing that you that we just got into it about and you reposting what somebody else saying, 'cause I I don't know if you understand what I'm saying, but if you reposted something that somebody else just posted just you're reposting something that somebody else posted and we just got into it about that situation. And I'm gonna share it and repost it. Yeah. So that's what I think about that question. They'll read it and think, they got something going on. Let me let me ch let me let me slide in the DM. And that's where that ex coming at. she feeling a certain way about him. Let me go see if she okay. The ex or or the wanna wannabes, the fan club. And that's what a lot of people be waiting for. As soon as they see that opening, it right there. So that's that's what I that's why I say I think it could hurt relationship. And now again, I not not just that, it can be financial shit financial. You you send up your posting I guess the that's let me actually this. No, I I know I hit on it but I wanna hear your hear your opinion on this one. Should certain things about a marriage stay between you and your spouse. Like kinda like I guess what I was saying earlier because I don't think I don't remember your answer for that one, but Yes. Certain things should certain things in a marriage s stay between you and your spouse. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And like I said, not just posting on social media but even just sharing. I mean unless unless you're getting abused, you should You you should keep it between you and your spouse because you you mess around being had your whole family, all your friends mad at your spouse and they ready to come blow the house up and tomorrow y y'all back good. That's why I always said keep your keep your marriage life and relationship life between you and that you and your spouses. Everybody does not need to know about it. But yeah, but if you've been ab if you're being abused, you yeah, you gotta t you gotta talk to some So that you can get some help and get up out of there. Yeah, but don't talk to social media. Yeah, not yeah. That's why I say I guess you know, that's what we pretty much dis about the social media part, but yeah, that's the type of stuff I don't Yeah, you gotta have somebody to talk to 'cause you don't wanna be in a situation where you're like, damn, I should have said this or reached out to this person. But yeah, this social media stuff, man, it's it's crazy. next question I have for us is do some couples spend more time trying to prove that they're happy on social media than Actually being happy. In other words. that because I don't be paying attention to other people's relationships like that. Maybe on What do they reality T V but as far as social media, I just don't be following couples and just just locked in, locked in like if if it's real or fake, how would I know? You know what I mean? Until something blow up and they go viral and you be like, my goodness, well I didn't I didn't know they had that going on but I don't know. I don't I don't pay pay attention to other people's relationship like that to cancel that. That's that's a tricky question, y'all. I'm sorry we can answer y'all question, but to me, that's a tricky question 'cause I seen to where people will post all this good stuff on social media, but behind closed doors is nothing like that social media stuff. so I I I can say that that I've seen that happen before. Again, man, keep your keep your business off social media. That's that'll help it out. That that that's that pretty much will help everything out. That's gonna be my question, my answer to a lot of stuff. Keep your business to yourself. So I think, yeah, people who try to prove other people to see hey I'm balling, I'm doing all this stuff. You know, that's good, but that's a tricky question, y'all. Sorry we couldn't answer the album like we hope like y'all wanted us to. Okay, so here's here's a here's a good one. Somebody asks, are some couples more concerned about what everybody thinks of their relationship than how their spouse actually feels? Yeah. 'Cause some people want to live a perfect life. No one is not perfect. They want everybody again to think that they have a perfect, perfect marriage. Yeah. So yeah, that's what I think. some people like that. They just want the the world in social media to think that everything's perfect. But deep down their spouse is back there like, You know it ain't what it is. Stop posting all that on social media and that go Keep it it keep it here. Next questions. Do phones make arguments worse than couples text things where they wouldn't say it to each other face to face? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think some some people, and then I don't know if it makes it can make it so yes and no. It can make it worse or it can make it better. Some, you know, there's some people who feel like there may be some people who feel like they can get their point across better through text because if they're saying it face to face with their spouse. Now we arguing, you're not listening to me, you you overriding what I say. be back and forth. Nobody's listening. We both just at each other versus a text you got the r you you gonna read the whole thing and then comment. Now you and then on the other hand, some people get out of line with the text message. You know they wouldn't say some stuff in your face, but they'll text it instead. If that makes sense. I agree on 'cause start off with the yeah, 'cause I definitely know Not just in relationship, just since we talked just people period. They they would text stuff to you that they know they wouldn't say to your face, but back to the relationship part, it's a good thing it's not but the thing is that like you said, some people can get their pronoun calls or they feel more comfortable. But what if the other person take it a different wrong way? 'Cause you know, texting can be mis what they call it, misconstrued. I'm saying it right. you can You can you can be texting sudden and I say you text me something that we just got into argument before you left the house and I'm reading it, I'm already still pissed off about the argument. I might read it a different way than you trying to say it. So sometimes a text message can come across the wrong way, especially again, if you just got into that big argument or anything. Yeah, I'm like, Are you just making a statement or you got a attitude behind that? Exactly. So Are you trying to be rude or you just Yeah, but I I think a lot of times People wouldn't say some people would. They wouldn't say the same exact stuff to you like you was face to face for that one. So I that's what I think. and also sometimes you might be heated up, then later on you calm down, you might go back and read that message like, should I send that right? So that's how most of the time it it goes. next one I have should a serious late should serious relationships disagree Disagreement. next next question we have is should serious relationships disagreement happen face to face? Yeah, I'd rather argue face to face than through a a text message again. I know some people might be more comfortable, like she said earlier, of us going back and forth, sending messages. But to me, face to face is good, but one thing about face to face, you gotta be willing to listen to each other. We both arguing back and forth where you can't hear this and that. It's just like you waste of time. We just we just s we just practicing and seeing who seeing who can yell or over talk the other person. That's my thoughts on that one. serious relationship should serious relationship disagreements happen face. Yeah, it should happen face to face and it don't always a disagreement don't always have to end in an argument. We can agree to disagree. Mm-hmm. Without arguing or yelling or screaming. Yeah. another question we have is have have you ever sent something out of anger and you wish immediately you wish that you didn't you can take that back. hell yeah. Again, 'cause at the moment you're Just sending stuff. Yeah, 'cause at the moment, I'm I'm gonna say this. Back when texting first came out of course, I used to be like just go and just and just text stuff like this and that and be like, damn, I should have sent that. But the now me everything I sent now, I mean it. I'ma say like that. if I'm arguing somebody I can say it I I can't I c I will never go back now and say I didn't mean that. But back then, yeah. But now 'cause I think I think i everybody if you know me, I'm I'm I think about everything I sent I proofread it, all this stuff, then sent. That's how I am with that one. What you think? Yeah, I've said some stuff I wish I could have took I've I would have t I could take back because I was upset. I've I've done it. Yeah, I think it's it's just something about that that social media, that that that what they call it, trigger ticker trigger fingers. People get bold with those with those text messages because again, a lot of stuff people say would I'm a hundred percent sure they wouldn't say face to face. Not everybody built like that. so I th I that's what I think about that one. we finally made it through a lot of serious talk. Now we're gonna have a little fun, but it's still gonna be some serious talk. We got this segment we call quick fire. With this is kinda like we're putting each other on the hot seat and the rules are I'm Gonna read these situations where Ty and I are gonna answer yes, no, or it depends. But we gotta give a short explanation, nothing long, just pretty much off the top of the the dome. So we're gonna this is called quick fire, but I also call it on my other segments hot seat. All right, here we go. first question I have is your spouse liking another person's thirst trap pictures. Yes, no, or it depends? No. Hell no. Ain't no such thing as depend, not at all. You shouldn't be liking stuff. It's a thirst trap, so what you're liking it for? Exactly. Your spouse deleting certain DMs. No. Because you shouldn't be deleting anything. You should kind of back we talked about earlier. Nope. You shouldn't be deleting DMs. But what if somebody sent you a DM and you didn't respond to it or they the one coming at you? You don't you don't respond to the nothing. Yeah, that's different. I guess Delete. Yeah. Block. I guess I was wrong. Wasn't wrong, but that that makes sense. Shouldn't be doing. All right. Next one I have for y'all is your spouse never posts you, but posts everything else. Yes, no, or depends? No. It depends. What if it was like Nah, it doesn't. I'm I was it said never. I I guess I misunderstood it. Never. It said never. Your spouse never posts you. Some people are are okay with that, but I'm gonna leave that alone. Your spouse receives a DM and immediately turn their phone over. No. Hell to no. Unless you're in the movies and you and your phone is interrupting or you had dinner. Okay, yeah. You can you can turn it over. But I need you to turn it over and say, He always t DMing at the wrong time. Yeah, 'cause I got again my job, she'll tell you in the morning, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. It drives the hell out of me. I can't cut it off. I know it's probably quick. Answers what you have next. Okay. Your spouse has a social media account you didn't know existed. No. No depends, huh? No no yes or no. we won, we supposed to know everything. What the hell you hiding a account for? I agree. I agree. I need to know all the accounts 'cause I need to follow you on all of too. Let's see what we got next. All right, Tanya, you finally made it up. Okay, you you did good. You made up the hot seat. So I appreciate you for joining us on the hot seat. You made it, Worthy. All right. On to the next thing. We're gonna take a few more questions from the audience before we out of here. And again, we thank y'all and appreciate y'all for sending these questions in. That's how we know that our show is doing well. So we're gonna go on on to the next question that we have. Can your phone become Can your phone become the third person in your relationship? Yeah. Cause you're always on it and again like we said earlier, you show that damn phone more love and you show your relationship so that other person might get jealous over that doggone. Samson hell with the iPhones. Sarah don't know what she be talking. Can someone spend so much time on their phones that it starts taking the place of a real communication, quality time and emotional connection? Yes. Definitely. I think so too. Because you again you that time you spend on the phone, you could be communicating about it, it can be anything, a trip, date night, anything. I'm gonna say anything. So personal Hey, there's there's times where you spend on that phone where you can be it can it's just quality time together. Like you know anything, movies like we said, yeah, it takes away, yeah. And it don't always have to be you on social media 'cause I know I I have about three games. I guess I can get locked in and stuff. I got three games that I'll be Let me put this down. Yeah, 'cause I've we're in the bed sometimes, I'll slap it out of the hand. Like, stop it. Bedtime. That's that's only when I'm tired 'cause I know and I'm the last one to go to sleep, but I need that I need that cuddle time. So, Drop y'all questions and y'all answers to everything we talked about just now into the comments. And we definitely want to hear what y'all thinking. And some we even want to hear some of y'all experience. Give us some of these things that might y'all might have been in some of these situations. So yeah, we feel free to to share your story with us and again come on the show and share share it. So yeah, go feel feel free. We wanna hear some of y'all comments too. Don't be scared. Jerry's gonna get. On to our next thing we have, we call this one personal check-in. After everything we've talked about today, what's one thing I could personally do better when it comes to my phone and giving my my little Warty my attention? that's easy. I can just is that a question to me or to you? I mean it go both ways, but I'm gonna I'm gonna give it to you first. Go ahead. I think you could do personally do better. You you've been doing good. You've been doing good. I think and I think you you kinda noticed when you you might be on it a little too long. I don't I don't even have to say anything. I don't have to catch no at I don't catch attitudes no more. I g I used two years ago. Not not recently, years ago. But yeah, you you d you do good. Even with work and the kids and and two different podcasts. You you'll turn it off and put it down. Yeah, yeah. Give me some attention. I don't know this when I first got this podcast, I was on it sh I probably average two hours of sleep, which I already do average four hours of sleep already, but I would she she'll tell you anybody know I'm on those they call it but perfectional perfectional I forgot the word perfectionist perfectionist. I like to make sure I got everything. I was editing. I would watch a podcast a million times to make sure I'm getting it right. So yeah, this she she's like she said, I'm I I I got better where now I do it where it's not your business. All right, my question I have to you is it a question? Okay. I think it's important I think is it I think it's important that we just I guess I one thing I can say is I think it's important that we don't talk about everybody else's relationship what they got going on on social media. Again, like we say, we we don't know if it's real or fake. Again, some people might want you to think everything's going good and hiding behind the truth. What we should be doing is making sure that our relationship ourselves is good before we step in comment or talk about another person's relationship. So again Social media is for entertainment and that's what people do, entertain. So that's what I think that's my opinion on on a lot of stuff about this. Yeah, because a strong relationship isn't about being perfect. It's about being willing to listen, grow and make changes. We're almost to the end of our show. We we pretty much covered a lot about social media. Trying to see if anything else we left out. I guess next this question is do you think 'cause I don't think we got this question on here. You yes it is. I think it's go back let's let's go back to the third strap picture, I guess they call it. do you you think it's respectable let's say I'm gonna use myself example, I'm not using nobody else. Let in these days on social media, especially you can see who likes everything. If you go into social media and you see that I'm liking this woman's picture, this woman's picture, and it's in like they say earlier, Thurs trap, they half naked or they just showing a booty shaking videos or whatever it is, do you think that's re appropriate for a married man or somebody committing relationship to be liking at things. Again, like I said, I'm t like I said, people see that you like stuff on social media. What's your answer to that? That's very disrespectful. What it what you liking it for? You want her to know you liking it? I mean, what you liking it for? I feel like this. I'm kidding you can't stop nobody for looking at stuff. I mean it's in your face all day long. I mean it it's on I mean it You don't even have to get on social media. You look at T V. But I mean, to sit and wanna like it or comment, yeah, you're out of line. You're out of line. Yeah, I I agree once you that goes both ways. Woman and man, 'cause the the men out there be doing the most they there's trapped too. yeah, I yeah, I agree with you on that. That's like 'cause you wouldn't do it in the grocery store. Go into somebody and hit put a like on his on his shoulder. Or in the gym, hey, I like how you're working out. You know and that fit is a like. So like she said, you can't help some stuff I understand you can't help. we all human. But don't be thirsty like man, I'm telling you I've I've I've seen a lot of people I don't give a damn. It's it's it's it's God's keeping it real. I've seen a lot of people liking stuff, liking stuff. I'd be like, man, do y do y'all do your woman know that you like a lot of this stuff? Does she does she does she see this? no, I'm not trying to it's not I'm not snitching anything, but it's real talk shit. I'm just trying to help you out, the ones that's doing it. Yeah, I might want to chill out with that. Unless your wife don't care. Yeah, that's different. But if she don't care, you shouldn't mm no, I'm not gonna say that, but let's go on. Okay. all right y'all, we wanna again thank everybody for and we can go on all line for this, but we it took us a long time to set this doggone thing up. So we we're tired. We we probably took longer to type we we took longer to set this up than Booze on the show, I'm telling y'all. And it's all because of me trying to do stuff perfect, so And I know she was probably getting frustrated. I felt her spirit. Like I'm just happy that she didn't text it to me. So again, we want to thank everybody who's been supporting the show. Who's we want to thank everybody who've been supporting the show, sharing the show, giving us some positive feedback. Again, man, we we I'm we sorry that it took this long to get another show out, but I'm telling you, I blame I I blame myself because I've been so Focus on my sports podcast, trying to get that out. And she said, Hey. I've been working. And she's been working and I've been working, but she said, Hey, are we ever going to do another podcast together? That about me. And when she said that, because I think I did two without her, I think. Was it two? Yeah, David, Troy, and Nick. three. Three. Damn. so we're gonna be I promise y'all, we're gonna start doing it more. We're gonna try we're gonna not gonna say try, we're gonna drop one a week. 'Cause we already have the next one already ready loaded up and that's gonna be a good one. Actually have a couple of Hey, matter of fact, y'all y'all let us know which ones y'all wanna see. We got one called what is it Red Flags in Relationship. Y'all, matter of fact, y'all, y'all leave y'all comments down. Y'all leave our comments and tell us which one y'all want to see us do. We got one called Rib Red Flags in Relationship. Where everybody should know that. If you see, you should know what a red flag is in relationship. If somebody, you just meet somebody less than a month and they give me your location. What you doing? Where you dead? What you doing? Why you ain't back? That's a red flag. That's just the beginning of a not even a month. That's a red flag. So we got that one coming up. We have another one I can't wait to do. So I'm I'll it's called Do Family Really Support You? And we have another show we call we got a we got another show I can't wait to do. It's called Family and Friends Support. Do they really support you? And we wouldn't mind having a a guest or two on that one to share their experience and tell us what they feel about it. I think that's gonna be another great one. And also again, we still have we're gonna still do the one with Tanya's parents, fifty years, fifty one years. Fifty two actually. Happy anniversary, mom and dad. Sorry about that happy anniversary. Happy anniversary on the twelfth of October. Fifty two years. That's a that's a that's a long time, man. what else we got coming up? Mental health. Mental health, we got that one coming up. I got another I got a great re I got great reviews about the one that hey, shout out to Nick Nicholas, man. Thank you for doing the the fatherhood with me. I got a lot of guys that hit me up as they say in a DM and text me, they wanna be part of that show next time. So I gotta do the album again. We're gonna have a part two of that one. Now all y'all guys that's telling me y'all wanna be in it, when I reach out to y'all, don't hide. Because y'all got too many of y'all keep saying, Hey, I wanna do this one, man. I love that show, man. I I got a lot that I wanna say. So I'm gonna hit y'all up. But we're gonna be probably do the album later down the line. Yeah, Nick was funny. Yeah, Nick, you did your thing, man. I appreciate ya. I had questions. Yes. That one should have been live. I had questions for him. Hey Nick, you see, she wanna do a live one, so let's let's do it. So again, man, we want to thank y'all for doing everything. Again, we Sports Talk with JB. As y'all see, I ventured off to two extra shows. NFL, MFL breakdown with my my regular crew, Troy, Motown, and Smooth. Man, that woman getting great reviews. And I got also got Wednesday Night Live. And both these shows are live. I have Barbershop After Albert Talk. And that's more of we talk a little bit sports. Go to basketball, we go to everything that's going on in the world with culture, hip hop and everything. And that show's been doing good and again the reviews are good. So we got that going on. Anything else? I can think. And before we get out of here, again I wanna go ahead and thank our sponsor for doing the thing. It's really See me. y'all just saw that the sponsor is sitting right next to us. So again, if you like the show make sure that you hit the like button, the share button. And also like I always say, make sure you tell a friend or three, not just a one friend, tell a friend of three. And make sure that friend makes sure they tell another friend. Again, we can only continue to grow with y'all's support and y'all help. So again, I want to thank y'all. for sharing everything with us. Until next time. Keep God first. Keep communicating. Keep growing. And keep loving each other. Let's talk about it.