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To Peg or Not To Peg · F*ck Off Fridays

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Fuck Off Friday with your girl Liv and your girl Charlie.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Coming up this week, we have I asked Charlie how long it would take her to realise if I died.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about pubes.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about random thoughts and where it first came from with women going to the bathroom room in packs.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And we have our resident fuck-offs of the week.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we both go all in.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: So sit yourself down, grab yourself a beverage, and off we go.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Let's start with what are you loving this week?
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: So last weekend I was invited to go to an event with Volvo and she's an electric.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: With my electric pal Sarah.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: So we went to Dalesford for the afternoon.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Volvo hosted like a sustainability, I was gonna say webinar.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't a webinar, like a sustainability chat.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: They had a few different people come in as guest speakers and they spoke about empowering women, trying to encourage women to be more curious about things like AI, technology, like if you're self-employed, like owning your own finances, not paying someone else to do it for you, like make use of like co-pilot, clawed all of that jazz.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: And just like I guess, yeah, do something for yourself.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then so after that we went off to Cowley Manor for a little night stay.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um it was really cute.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was just, I think what we both just needed to like reset, like Sarah and I have been friends for years, and sometimes it's nice just to switch off from like all of the noise of the outside world.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go sit in the spa, have a holly jolly little time.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was really nice.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: And we met a couple of really lovely girls who amazingly, and I find this wild because they're both like in their 30s, they're both cancer survivors.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, which was incredible, and they had just the most positive outlook on life, and they were just a real joy, you know.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_01: When you just meet people and you just think you're a good human being, yeah.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it was just yeah, just really lovely and refreshing.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I'm loving this week.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and as well, I will say, I got to test drive the new I've never driven an electric car before, and I got to test drive the Volvo EX60, and I felt like I was in a spaceship.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: You said you liked it.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: I loved it, which kind of is like because the horses hate them.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: I and I did make a point of saying this, and I have followed up since, and I spoke to the PR girl and I said, could you pass on for me?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And also happy to help if you ever need an equine focus group.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, How I was like, the electric cars, whilst they say they've been road tested for horses, they have not, because let me tell you, was okay.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Big John might be able to see them with the eyes on the side of his head.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't hear them, I don't see them because my eyes look in front of me and it shits me up every time.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I did enjoy driving it.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Fine.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't driven one, so I couldn't I couldn't weigh in.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's grand.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So it was purely electric, not hybrid.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, purely electric, yeah.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, it's very cool.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Shout out, Volvo.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Go on, Volvo.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what are you loving this week?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't got a what are you loving this week?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: No, nothing has resonated with me.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: God, she's a Debbie Downer.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I am a Debbie Downer.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, other than the I've got lots of fuck offs of the week.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: But no, I'm I mean, I'm not hating everything, but I haven't got anything that stands out.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, that's fine.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Stand out.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um You can't have sunshine without the rain, as they say.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: My f my I've got two fuck-offs of the week.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Go on, let's have that.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I've got loads, but I've got two main ones.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um my first one anyone that says just joking after being an absolute dick.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because normally they say just joking to soften it because they know they've said something that is just completely stupid or really rude.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just shut the fuck up.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Basically.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Diehard fan on that one.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's a good mum quote that.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um the next one, and it might be a bit of a tough wank, right?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: For fuck's sake, here we go.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: But people, people having an opinion on whether or not we should have children.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Hard agree.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Just saying.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Really, really winds me up.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: We're not judging people for not having dogs.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we are, but no one's going around going, what do you mean you don't have a dog?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous you don't have a dog.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want a dog.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: But people that have kids already get the other side of it right, because if you have one, they then go, when you haven't another one.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when someone when you think about it creeping out of your mouth, even if you're talking to other people or you're talking to someone who does or doesn't want kids, to be honest, it's not a topic that you'd bring up with anyone or talk about if you're not friendly with them anyway.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Just stop yourself and remember it's the grand adventure of Nanya.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: None your fucking business.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you said Nanya wrong then.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Nanya.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: None your fucking business.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: You have the floor.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's a real personal question, I think.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know we've touched on this before, but imagine if someone went back to you.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine if you really wanted children, and this is something that people should think about.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: If you ask that question to someone who really wanted kids and had to have a hysterectomy, not out of choice, yeah, that would be triggering as fuck for someone like that.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: But regardless of whether or not you want kids, don't want kids, can have kids, can't have kids, it's a really personal question, in my opinion.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Not going and asking people if they're having anal.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: So why are you asking them if they're going to have a child?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should start that.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: If people are so comfortable, let's start doing it.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I will start walking around the supermarket going, do you have anal?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know an L?
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever been pegged?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: How do you frequent this?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Do you do you go to sex parties?
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you swing?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how far should we take this?
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I might double down, I might just get worse with it.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's just as invasive, but I think sometimes people don't.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: But we don't normalize it.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: No, and I yeah, but like I've said to you before, if you say to people, I gotta have time off, I'm having surgery, and people go, Oh, what are you having done?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: See if you're going under the knife, it's quite a personal question.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, but come up with something stupid.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm having my hemorrhoids removed.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just say something stupid like I'm having a labioplasty because when I cycle, it chafes.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, but I'm just gonna start saying shit like that.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm actually having my implants removed because then that will confuse them because I've got really tiny tits.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Just like you know, but honest the fuck.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: But no, I agree with you.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think let's let's stop being quite so invasive on uh people's personal lives and and life choices as well.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Because also, if you say this is the other thing, is if you if you don't, you know, if you're child fee by choice, which is fine, you then feel as though to parents you have to justify why you don't want kids, and it's like ah fuck, all you lot do is come not all that gonna generalize here, but people complain about it, so it's like you're not selling it.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: So, but I think just being respectful and mindful and just not asking such invasive questions is a useful.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And do you know what I'm gonna start doing?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Any bloke that brings it up, I'm gonna go, oh, is your body clock ticking?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, I fucking will.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: You've heard it here first.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Play silly games, get silly prizes, you bunch of dicks.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, what's your fuck off of the week?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: Mine's mine's quite the fuck off of the week because I'm still fuming, tamping, raging about it now.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Give it to me.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I basically got into an Instagram comments war with someone.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Which sounds How many times have I texted you and said don't reply to trolls?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me give you the context.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: So there's these guys on Instagram, and I watched their full YouTube video, and essentially what they do is they go around the country and they go into abandoned buildings and they take videos of it.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: So they broke into my old school, Rankham College.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh fuck, which yes, this is why I'm so fuming about it.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: So they broke into Rencombe, which has a security guard, clearly not doing a very good job.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: He's on the job, he's on the sleeve.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: They've broken through a fire exit.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Riddle.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, weird.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so they've gone round and they, and to be fair, what I will say is to be fair to them, they were quite respectful as they're going around and they're saying, like, this these buildings are beautiful, we can't believe this has all been left.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: There's still because Rencombe's for sale at the moment, 20 mil if you've got a spare bit of cash lying around.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Available as a whole lot or as separate lots.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, um, the brochures are really nice.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's all with Night Frank.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, anyway, so nothing beats an old private school.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so they're going, they're going around like the main building, and it is stunning.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, oh, this is really sad.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's chairs up on desks here, like um, you know, this only closed when they went in, it only closed a month before.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so I go into the comments, and some people are like, This is really raw for a lot of people.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: This is only closed recently.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, my children went there, this is really sad.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then also people like me, old Rancomians who are like very sad about it.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, so I just comment, and I think they start by saying this elitist school closed.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: There are a few things that I was like, You're age being literally, I was like, You're you're hook lining and sinkering me here.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Basically, I just I put a long comment that just said this, you know, it's really sad to see a great school like Rankham closing.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: But just to give a bit of context behind it, one of the reasons that they closed was that with the increase, um, well, obviously, the government brought in VAT on school fees.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and essentially, amongst other things, but a lot of small independent schools, it's basically financially crippled them.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: So someone then replies to my comment and says, um, sorry, please hold.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Private schools being tax exempt was mental.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: Absolute bare minimum, they pay their their fair share for all of the advantages that private education offers.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Do they know how much we pay a year anyway?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is my point.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I basically then I basically then started a TED talk on this is where I got into my Instagram battle.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I basically started a TED talk on how the finances of a private school work.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I just explained, I said, just to give you some context, private schools get no funding whatsoever.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: They get zero from the government.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: So typically, people that are sending their children to private school are in the highest tax brackets.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: They're already paying 40% tax.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: So they've already paid significant tax.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the income from school fees goes towards feeding children, housing children if they're living there.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the running costs, so like electricity bills, all of that, yada yada, maintenance of the building.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: But for the most part, it is going on teachers' salaries.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Those teachers, guess what?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: They pay tax.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: All of the food that's bought in, people have paid tax on the electricity bills, people are paying tax.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: So when you then say they should pay their fair share on taxes, I'm not quite sure you understand.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: But they don't.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of people keep throwing the word tax around, and no one actually knows how it fucking works anyway.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm no accountant.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Enter the group chat, my girl, so she's a tax advisor.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, interesting.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: But um what I will say is I I did a bit of number crunching.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think so.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: We seem to be, and someone said this to me the other day, and I will keep them anonymous.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: They basically said, we seem to be the only country in the world that celebrates being poor and is very anti-any form of wealth, which I would be inclined to agree.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone earns a different amount of money.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: That is what it is.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's been that way forever and a day.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: How people choose to spend their money is up to them.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if people, if people have enough income that they can send their children to private school, that is their choice.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like we're not hammering people for sending their children to nursery and not being a stay-at-home parent, but for whatever reason, we are going in on people who are choosing to privately educate their children.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Their money, their choice.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: So, anyways, I did a bit of number crunching.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it costs the government, this is at secondary school, almost seven and a half grand to educate one child for a whole year.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: The average price of us uh putting a child through secondary school in private school for a day pupil it's 31.5k.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is the average price across the whole UK.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: For boarding, and this will obviously be inflated because it'll include international students, the average cost per pupil per year is close to£70,000.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Horrifying amount of money.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's more than a lot of people earn.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: However, if someone has that money and that's how they wish to spend it, that's fine.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: So if we abolish private schools, which I think some this is obviously the very extremist view, you then have about 360,000 children in the UK that now need to be educated by the state, which would cost them£2.68 billion.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: So please tell me where that money is coming from.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Near in mind, you know what order you I people don't really like using the word comprehensive school anymore, do they?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: But state school just kind of covers it.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, state school, they're already too busy.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: Strasham's already too big.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: What's the answer?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: And I know loads of teachers who've basically gone, This is really tough.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like with all the planning, the class sizes, and all of that, the challenges that come in being it is hard work, and I take my half to any teacher, it's hard wherever you are, but you've got so many people I know who have had a career change because they just don't want to do it anymore.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like you say, you've already got all these schools that already push to the absolute brink.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: But you also look at so individual cases.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: So yourself, I also went to school with a lot of people who were like from military backgrounds, their parents moved around a lot, they boarded.
• 13:48
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: From a young age, might I add.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Some of my friends were like seven or eight when they started boarding because it was the only stability they had.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what their parents chose to do.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you know, we had a lot of Chinese students, we had a lot of Russians.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because their parents wanted them to go to Oxford, like Oxford, Cambridge.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Our education system is great.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I was very fortunate to be privately educated.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: It was one thing my mum wanted for both of us.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's how they that's what they want to do that way.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: No one could take it away from me.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't my choice, it was her choice, but I'm fucking grateful for it.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: And why but why do we look down on people that choose to send their children to private school?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's almost like an air of judgment, and it's No, and it's one thing I touched on this week when I saw with some friends.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we were all talking about, like, I think basically everyone in that room, we'd all been privately educated.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that sounds a bit first world fine, but we had, and we were talking about it.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually said there have been people I have dated in the past that have dated me knowing I was privately educated and I was very fortunate, horsey, etc.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah like.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: But they and they, you know, they were in a comfortable background, but they went to a state school.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Every time, every opportunity they could, they would mock me or try and humble me about being privately educated.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just thought it's really interesting because I would never turn around to someone and go, You went to a fucking state school.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: Agreed.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to know where the fuck that chip on the shoulder comes from.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because I didn't ask for that.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: Nope.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: My mum gave it to us.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Very, very kind of her to do that for us.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what I mean?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't come out of the womb and go, I'm going to private school.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, exactly.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's a hot topic.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, and one of the things I went on to say in my comment battle was that it at Rencombe, there are a lot, like I said, a lot of children like me who were from military backgrounds.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: So whilst our fees were heavily subsidised, fair shout to my mum and dad because they worked so hard to put us through private schools.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I made the comment, I said something like, you know, places like Rencombe and your smaller independent schools, what you find a lot of is that it tends to be more um businessmen and women or people that basically make work, work really hard to make sacrifices for their children to go to private school, yeah, who are more, I'd say, like middle class, like hardworking people versus extreme wealth.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think everybody thinks private school, they think Eton, Harrow, Chatham College, they think like the extremes.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then someone said, I don't like this term hardworking people.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Are you saying that people that can't afford to send their children to private school aren't hardworking?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No, I'm not saying that.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: But what I am saying is that they are putting pedal to the metal because they haven't come from a wealthy background, they're like doing everything they can to send their kids to private school.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then unfortunately, yeah.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what we're gonna see now, which is really sad, is that where the VAT has been added onto the school fees, um, naturally, you know, schools are having to increase their school fees, and I think there will become more of a divide, and I think private school will become even less accessible, so then people are gonna have even more of a chip on their shoulder.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know at the same time, in the interest of keeping this balanced, my good friend Claude told me that with the addition of VAT on school fees to the UK economy, it's worth anywhere between£1.5 and£1.8 billion, which is significant.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: So whilst I don't necessarily believe in taking from the rich and giving to the poor, when you look at the economic impact that has, I'm really sad about rank and closing.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: But equally, if you look at the bigger picture and it has that much of an impact, then can we can we be angry about it?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: No, but can I be sad that my school closed?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: And some little dickhead in Instagram comments was trying to rage bait me.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: Sit down and listen to my TED talk about finances, my friend, because I will shut you up.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think you've got to hit people with facts on that sort of situation.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, here ends my TED talk, but I think the biggest thing for me is let people spend their money how they wish to choose to spend their money.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I agree.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Let's stop being so judgmental.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: If someone has been fortunate enough to have a private education, good for them is my point.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Good for you, father.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Good for you.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, that's me.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's my fuck off of the week.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was relevant.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: I enjoyed it.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you come for me in Instagram comments, I will bite back.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: You can crack on this week.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, to change the tone massively.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Go on.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: Form submissions.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: So we I believe I've got two, so I'll do the first one.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: So anonymous female 28.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: What are your views on fetishes?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have any or have you ever had first hand experience with one?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I ask as I recently dated a guy who was into belly buttons.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'd never heard of this before.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: He even asked if I had an innie or an outie and said if I had an outie, it would be a deal breaker.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: He was mainly interested in gently massaging.
• 19:15
  unknown: Stop.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck off.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: We shouldn't laugh because Ludwig saught us to be open.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Ludus taught us to be open-minded.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is a really fucking impossible wank for me because I hate belly buttons, and anyone touching my belly button is fucking getting punched.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: So the fact that the next word is fingering my belly button is sending me off the deep end.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Which was odd at first, but then weirdly.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh I know some people are weird about belly buttons, so it made me think about how other people deal with this and other fetishes.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: I love the pod.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Keep it up.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Can I just say to go from private school to fingering belly buttons is quite a way to go.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um thoughts, prayers, you two?
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: Rich, where do you stand on belly buttons?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Curious to know.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Innie or outie?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, are you an innie or have you got an out?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: That's a very personal question.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: What do you want to do with it?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: I would like to know do you have an innie or an out?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: She wants to touch it.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's an innie.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm an innie, are you an innie or anything?
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm an innie.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, we're all innies.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, so hang on.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was a hard no from him if she had an outie.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: If she had an outie.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm assuming she has an innie.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because he did play with it, and it was the word pleasurable in that sentence really sends me off the deep hand.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is it's interesting.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna say I am not here to judge anyone, but personally for me, touching my belly button, being anywhere near my belly button, touching anyone else's belly button, there's something about it, and I'm sure Lulu would go, There's there's something's happened to you.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: You've got childhood trauma with your belly button here.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: But it makes me feel unwell, just like the thought of touching my own makes me feel unwell.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_02: Have you actually like pushed it?
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: Can hurt.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, have you never?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if you go in too far, yeah.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: Like it's all right, I can't Do you go home and push your belly button in?
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, like when you clean yourself, like you need You're putting a cotton like common.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Can I tell you something, but can you bleep it out?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go on.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Do you do the over the top?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: Do you get it?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's like I have used a cotton word bleep belly button, it smells.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: I normally just like loofah and do you?
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like but you get fluff in there otherwise from clothes and stuff.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, we can um we can unbeep at that part now, and people will be a bit curious is what we were just talking about.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, no, no judgment.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And and her initial question is what are your views on fetishes?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I have no issue.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: There are certain things I think if I was with the right person, I would probably trial, but there are definitely things that I'd be like about just as a reminder, fetish is something that someone likes, but nice to have fetish is a need.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm actually wondering if this Oh, this is a need.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't Oh, yeah, because foot fetish that's something that
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening, person who gave me this, um, can you tell us if that was a kink or a fetish?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because it sounds like a fetish because he obviously needed it, but it might just be a nice to have, might be a kink.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if they could tell us that, I I I don't know how I feel about it.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, I'm just trying to think.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: So the first part of the question is have you ever been with anybody who's had a fetish?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel like I've only just really learned the difference between a fetish and a kink.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I would say, compared to like some of the stories that Lulu could tell, I'm probably quite vanilla.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've never had anyone be like, put your toes in my mouth or anything like that.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: Call me a ferret.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Rich, you look like you're thinking.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have something to add?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: So we're just gonna move on.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for your question and your submission.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm enjoying it.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I apologize for retching as I read it.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um we're trying to be more open-minded.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: And um this this is um an Amsterdam one, which obviously we've kind of we've kind of spoken about this to death now, but this is a man in his 40s that said he hasn't been any been with any window girls, but in the re in the red light district, there is a museum of prostitution which shows you what it's like behind the curtain and how it works.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: What they said was that if you see a girl you like, you say what you want to do, and she gives you a price and you can agree to it or decline it, don't know if you can haggle or not.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I think yeah, you can find out when you when you go in.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: Someone did also tell me, and I don't think I spoke about it on here, but apparently when you go in, they have a little sink and men have to wash their dicks first.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they also, and I think I did mention this just as a reminder, because now we're red light district experts, they have like a security button which they can press that goes through to the police, but also a security team as well.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: So they are very well looked after.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: There's loads of health screening, they get a lot of support with um yeah, things like that, like health screening and like mental health and things like that.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_02: I want to see these dick washing sinks.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_02: What height are they at?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_02: I have so many.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: For you it'd be a B day.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: When we go on our um when we go on our trip for market research.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we are going, you know that.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you can we're gonna send you in as a you can bring your tripod.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Get some of those um well those those meta glasses that people wear now.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: We'll put some of those on you.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: I bought my set out some of those for Christmas.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be so open to that.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: They really would notice though.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, charge extra.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Put a spy cam on you.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're not exactly incognito.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: They at least have a light on them, don't they?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: I enjoyed that.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um would you guys like a smog Mario Void?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go on then, and then I'm gonna bring something else to your attention.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay, okay.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so um our women this week are Taylor Swift, Florence Pugh, and Emma Stone.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Snoggin Taylor, I'm Marian Florence.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I ignoring?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Emma Stone.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Who's Florence?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Come pitch out.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Florence Pew.
• 25:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: The dark days are over.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, it isn't.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: Are you okay?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was her.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: That's Florence and the Machine.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Florence Pugh was in Little Women.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Fact checking.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: She was in Google.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm I'm sorry, what is it?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: What's that film?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen the show.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_01: I thought Florence Pew is Florence the Machine.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: No! What's her surname?
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Blasphemy! What's her surname?
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but it's not Pew.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you for why.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've fucking seen Florence Pew in those of P U G H.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, hang on, I need to see Florence Pew is then.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: I thought Florence Pew is Florence off of Florence the Machine.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: She's glorious?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_01: I can't see that from here.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: Here he comes.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: I thought Florence Pew is Florence off of Florence and the Machine.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um in which case I'm gonna I'm gonna In which case I'm snogging Florence Pugh.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm probably gonna marry Taylor Swift, because my pal Maggie would be absolutely mad for that.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna avoid Emma Stone.
• 26:15
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, Emma, you're not for me.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: Rich, any variation?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um we know who Florence Pugh is.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: Going to Snog Taylor.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_02: What um marry Emma?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, is that a thing about Emma?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: Get different from us.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: She's very talented.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, and avoid Florence.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if that were actually Florence and Florence the Machine, would that have changed your views?
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, same actually.
• 26:41
  unknown: Yeah.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: What a woman.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: She's great.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um okay, our blokes this week are David Beckham, Bad Bunny, and Hugh Jackman.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm snogging Hugh.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm marrying Bad Bunny, because what a guy.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm avoiding David Beckham.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: And my friend Izzy will go absolutely mental about that.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: But I am.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why are you avoiding him?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Just not.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: He said no.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: He's not for me.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: He's not for you?
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: He's not for me.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I would I've met him before, but he's not for me.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'd snog Hugh.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'd marry David because his house is right next to Soho Farmhouse.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's handy.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's handy, isn't it?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he is a Spaniel lover.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: And he likes he likes chickens, he likes the garden.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think we'd have a wholesome life together.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm gonna avoid Bad Bunny because everyone uh goes mad for the man.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I I honestly I don't see it.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: I think he's an attractive man.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Did he did he did he do the Super Bowl?
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: He did.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I didn't really know who he was before then.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: I think he was stupping Kendall Jennifer a while.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: Get it, Kendall.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_02: Just a slight variation on yours, Charlie.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: Um I am avoiding now I've got to do snogging Hugh, marrying Beckham.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: And have you seen how clean his house is?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: What's your variation on mine then?
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's exactly the same.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: He's not fucking clean, he's not fucking cleaning it though.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't he watch his his show?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_02: He loves to clean at night.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: He like David, yeah.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: We've got a cleaner.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_02: No, but he's he he definitely can afford a cleaner, but he's still doing it himself.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: Even cuts the whip.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_02: He just seems like and his barbecue setup.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: Some boy.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: I tell you he's got a hell of a barbecue setup.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do you follow Henry Cavill on I can't speak today?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Am I okay?
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Do you follow Henry Cavill on the uh socials?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's really into his smoking.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: So have you heard of um I think it's called Cashmere Caveman.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's um Guy Ritchie's Guy Richie's in the films barbecue and things.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: They've put it in all the films, all the gentlemen, all the series, or whatever.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's the Guy Ritchie thing, and they're fucking cool.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: They're so expensive, but they're fucking cool.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: I love how they put in and keep your feet warm as well.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's a whole thing.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: What are they called?
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: Cashmere caveman.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: Cashmere caveman.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: If you're listening, send us one.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: Cheers.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Guy Ritchie.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: Side note, because you just mentioned it.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Have you watched The Gentleman?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but only a few episodes in.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: Don't no no, I'm I've only just I'm catching, I've only just watched season one.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, and it's great.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, it's all filmed at Babminton House, loving all of that.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um Theo James would get it.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: I still loved him from fucking when he was in Thanderton.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you were saying the Inbetweeners.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was gonna say In Betweeners.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Ah, Jane Austen.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of ruined it for me when I realised it was he he was the guy from The Inbetweeners.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_02: But um He's still a great actor.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what a what a hunk.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: But um I mean just started season two, so yeah, no spoilers, but if anyone's not watching it, recommend.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: I see, I see, I see.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Are you finished?
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm finished.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got two things to talk about.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: One is the poll.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Please hold callers.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: Holding.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: I put out a poll.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Da da da da.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather know who secretly dislikes you?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or if your partner has a crush on someone.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Thoughts, prayers, sorrows.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Tell us.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_01: I voted for uh the person who secretly dislikes you.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wouldn't tell them and I'd play on it.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd probably just try and wind them up even more.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_01: Kill them a couple of things.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think I'd find a bit of joy in that.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then maybe at some point it'd make them feel really awkward and be like, so hey, you don't like me, and watch them squirm.
• 30:12
  unknown: Oh.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, same.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's easy.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's an easy one.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so 86% said who secretly dislikes you?
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: And um 14% if you're part of it.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then next.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I check I text Charlie something the other day.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: Ha ha ha.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: I knew this was some form of content.
• 30:35
  SPEAKER_00: I text Charlie and I said, How long do you think it would take you to realise if I died?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to read out my response?
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: I can't I probably can't find any.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, because we've messaged too much.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: What did your response?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: My response was uh less than 24 hours because you replied to me more than anyone else.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Which I thought was fair.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Lucy, my friend Lucy, I did it to her as well.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: I've got I've actually got to find her.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: I was a bit like are you trying to tell me something here?
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: No, fucking hell.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I wasn't.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then I panicked, and I thought it was an experiment because then I didn't hear from you for almost 24 hours, and I was like, fuck's sake.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: Should I have read into that?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, it's unreal.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: So many people, even so many people have voice noted me or messaged me this week and they've gone, no pressure to reply.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: These people know what your boundaries are.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: They now know.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: We're double-text you.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: And do you know what this is me?
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the only one that's loud.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: I said to you earlier, I said, Do you know what?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I am going to use the podcast to get shit across because when you tell people directly they don't listen, was when they have to listen and they know that they it could be talking about them or someone else, they're like, Oh, and then they fucking register.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Yeah, fucking listen to this bitch.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_00: Honest to God.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, she basically replied and said, if you want the honest answer, probably about a week.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_00: And her reasoning was because I I don't reply to her or don't answer the phone.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Whoa, if if anyone calls me, I'm I'm definitely answering the phone to her unless I'm busy.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: My girl Luce, she's she's got more like room than anyone else, let's say.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_00: You as well.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: But like, if she's ringing me or texting me, I'm replying.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: We text each other most mornings and say good morning.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: We text each other every night and say goodnight.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm scared to message uh either of you early in the morning, because obviously I'm up at fucking dawn's crack at like.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: The only time I was five mic, don't message anyone, don't message anyone.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: There's an old bylaw that you can kill a Welshman in city walls with a crossbow.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're not a man, but I reckon you make an exception.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: The only time I thought about doing that was when I woke up one morning, it was after seven, six in the morning.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: I received a four-minute voice note from this little cant over here, and I thought, do you know what?
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Downloading my cross.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna leave my phone alone, I'm gonna go and make myself have a cup of tea, and then I'm gonna scream into the void.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to listen to it then.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, they're gonna I'm not calling you at that time.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_02: You can message me anymore.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: Downloading, and I'm like, do you know what?
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna fucking.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_01: So no, it's necessary.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_01: I got uh a message from my friend Lucy other day, who said that I'd woken her up at 5 30, and I was like, just put me on mute.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's the easiest thing to do.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_01: Just put me on mute or put your phone on do not disturb apart from certain people.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, she wakes me up.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, she leaves her phone on loud overnight because of the horses, which is I understand that.
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_01: But I was like, just put everyone on do not disturb apart from like your mum.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, uh then it's fine, then I won't uh I won't disturb you.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you call me twice, it's coming through.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: But my phone's still on silence, so yeah.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I operate well early in the morning, that's when I'm up, I'm driving, I'm thinking about stuff, I'm going to the gym, I'm riding my pony.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: But, Rich, how long do you think it would take you to realise that one of us had died?
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: I think quite quick actually for both of you, because there would be something podcast related in chat, and if you either one of you didn't reply, that would be weird.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: To be fair, sometimes you text me if I haven't responded to you about something, he'll go, Are you alive?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, WHAP!
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Mine can sometimes be like if it um if I'm like back to back in meetings, it can be like a whole day, and then I'm like Yeah, but I know that about you.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, and that's fine, that's fine.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: Back on planet Earth.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: I reckon if I hadn't heard from you in 48 hours.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you said to me, if my Instagram story went quiet, then you'd know.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not messaging us all, like sending us stuff on we've got an off-campus Insta group or whatever, or it's like something will happen.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll know.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: Your spidey senses will be tingling.
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, so so you think what 24, 40 hours?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_02: Less than that.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's 24 max max.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: Richard no.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, fine.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_00: This or that.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather clean a stranger's bathroom or share a toothbrush with a stranger once?
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: Toothbrush.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine cleaning someone else's pubes.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Who said they were gonna be pubes?
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: There might there might be.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm okay for that.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: Alright.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather your burps smell like garlic forever or your farts sound like a kazoo?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Ah! Up the kazoo! I fun fact, because we're in Gloucester, also recording at the shirt factory, when I was about eight years old, I played a kazoo in a school choir, weirdly, at Gloucester Cathedral.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's a whole new image.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: Isn't that nice?
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: Corn the kazoo.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's a lot of other words I could use.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_00: Probably wouldn't use the word nice, I'd be a bit weird.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: Kazoo.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: Is that is that?
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's the little instrument.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'll bring one next week.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: How's that?
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Please fucking don't.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but that's that's not a kazoo, not a harmonica.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_00: No, definitely a kazoo for a very different thing, very different ideologies.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: Old Sama, old Bama.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what was the question again?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: My birds taste like garlic.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go for a kazoo.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let's keep it musical.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: Can't believe it.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather trip and fall in front of your crush or call your boss mum or dad?
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, hey daddy.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your daddy.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, would you rather your phone autocorrect the to a swear word forever or your Siri respond to everything sarcastically?
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I take Siri being sarcastic.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: She never fucking listens anyway.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather lose your sense of taste or your sense of smell forever?
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: Smell.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: Me too.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather be able to teleport everywhere or anywhere, but naked each time, or drive anywhere instantly but fully clothed?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: I will drive and I will remain clothed.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_00: I choose naked.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: But imagine if you teleported and you were bam, you're next to the Eiffel Tower, completely fucking nude.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing but a couple of berries to clean up.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm driving, cheers.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather go through a messy public breakup or a quiet one nobody ever finds out about?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: Quiet.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_00: Fine.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Would you rather date someone who's brutally honest or someone who softens everything?
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: Soften, be kind to me.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: Which is funny because you you're you're not always soft.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: How dare you?
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm not either.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: I know I can be dark if you like.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: I try do you know what the irony is?
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: I try and soften things.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: Depends on my audience.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Her delivery isn't great.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's like a midwife, she always delivers things sometimes.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not good.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right, are you ready?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal with expired milk or drink a warm, flat Coke that's been open for a week?
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Warm flat coke.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, agreed.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have to share a bed with someone who snores like a chainsaw or someone who talks in their sleep all night?
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_01: Snore.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather show up to a costume party in normal clothes or show up to a normal party in full costume?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: Normal party in full costume.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Have we met?
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have a permanent airhorn sound effect every time you make a mistake or applause every time that you enter a room?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: That's my answer.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather have to redo your worst year of school or your worst year at work?
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: Worst year at school.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: I would now, knowing what I know now, I'd go back and then I'd make it better.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um would you rather never be able to lie again or never be able to tell when you're being lied to?
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: So either you can never lie again or you can't tell if like I'm lying to you.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: Nah, I can't tell if you're lying to me.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'd rather never lie again.
• 38:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't really I don't really lie about anything anyway.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_01: Uh would you rather your partner surprise you constantly or always tell you their plans in advance?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, tell me your plan, tell me your plans.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking hate I hate stuff like that.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather marry for love with no money or marry for security with no spark?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: Love with no money.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, agreed.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: We're done.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: Is that it?
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: We're done.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: We got some random thoughts.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_00: Would you right?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So do you guys know why, when and how um women started going to the loo together?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh this came from an interview I saw it was off the back of Practical Manager 2, and Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidburn were being interviewed.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought I can't remember how it came out, but Sandra Bullock said um it came about and she was like, Oh, it must be a reason.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: There must be a reason why all of us girls go, Oh, well, come with you, or I'll come with you, whatever.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: And like years and years and years and years and years, like hundreds and hundreds of years ago, apparently women used to go out to the fields to use like to go to the loo all together so that they weren't vulnerable and didn't get attacked.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's a bit like modern day then.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_00: Only there's no field or just in the toilet.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: So there is a I mean, because someone could correct me on that, but there is a reason.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because we do all go, like I would look at you on a night out and go, I'm just going to Louis John, come with me.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: I would do it not so much at like a nice little lovely quotes or pub, but if we were on a night out somewhere, then yeah, I didn't fly in solo.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: Mainly because I would worry that I'd lose someone.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you are a worrywart.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'd be like, I can't find you.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she panics.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: She's a panicker.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: Rich, do guys go to the toilet together?
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: Is it just girls?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: You don't go to cross swords?
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_00: Of course they fucking don't.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: They don't have to worry about anything.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's true.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's so easy.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_02: Life is just so easy.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna take it out.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to have the confidence of a mediocre white male looking at one right now.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: Charlie got me a t-shirt that said that.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_00: Still got it.
• 40:39
  SPEAKER_01: I watched a video clip the other day.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna send it to you so you can share it on share it on the stories.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: And basically, this guy interviewed men, like young men and young women in South Africa, and he asked them both the same questions.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like, How often do you look over your shoulder when you're walking along?
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: And obviously, south parts of South Africa have got quite high crime rates.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: So the guys were Especially at the moment, fucking hell.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so a lot of the guys were like, Yeah, probably a few times a minute, whereas the girls were like, Constantly.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then he asked the girl, uh, then he asked the guys, would you ever carry pepper spray?
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, No.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the girls are like, I would never leave the house without pepper spray and a taser.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, fuck, it's eye-opening.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: So obviously things are not great for women everywhere, but it makes you realise that compared to places like that, we're relatively lucky by comparison, but it's still not, it's still not great.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_01: But it was quite, yeah, I'll try and take it out and send it so we can share it.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: But it was, yeah, it was quite alarming.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've got a polar opposite random thought.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_01: Go on.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know, and this is speaking from personal experience, yeah.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: The other day, I wrote this down immediately.
• 41:41
  SPEAKER_01: How and why do people, mainly women, leave pubes on toilet seats?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: If I went to the Lou at work the other day, the pube about that long.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_01: Horrified, obviously, this is an audio medium, but whatever.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: It was a long pube, and I'm like, Firstly, how's anybody letting get that long?
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: Wanna know?
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you think you won't be gonna find it.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's a generational thing, I don't know.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like a dolphin.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, me too.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: But how are you not?
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: When you're finished on the loo, I always I close the toilet seat because it stops all the bacteria coming out, and then I flush, and then I just check it's all gone.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: If it's looking like Tom Hanks from Castaway, I don't want to get involved.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to talk about it.
• 42:25
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I don't.
• 42:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's where we were at.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: But I was just like, for the love of God, how has someone not noticed that spider's leg sat on the toilet seat?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: So people everywhere, please, when you're done in the toilet, men put the toilet seat down.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a lot to ask.
• 42:41
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies, also put the toilet seat down, keep the bacteria in there, and then just lift it up and just check it's all okay.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you mean the top one?
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Not gonna say cooking out, otherwise you've fallen in.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Close the lid.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I just don't understand how people are how am I?
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: Please go and see a waxing lady.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's all I ask.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Gross.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just gross.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_02: Liv doesn't talk about the toilet.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like Kim Jong-un.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I don't we, I don't poo.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, no, I can't, I can't with that.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I agree with that.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it's ah no, it makes me feel really weird actually talking about it.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's gross.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, grow up, I mean grow up, but it does make me feel weird talking about it.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_01: Each their own on on, you know, you do you with your poobs.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: For me, they're not they're just gross.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: But just please, fuck's sake, don't leave them on toilet seats.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: Disgusting.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: Disgusting.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: Disgusting.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, there's my random thought of the week.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: Aye are finished.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Aye.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_00: Aye.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're gonna fuck off for another week.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_01: Your wee bonny line.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_00: Until next Friday.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck it, toxic.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know what you sound like.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: A nice tight perm.
• 43:53
  SPEAKER_03: A wee ball.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_03: A wee bob.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't name that film, if you're listening to this now and you don't know this film, get back to the 2000s, wow, late 2000s.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you film.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, until next week.