Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / #HURDLEMOMENT: 30 Lessons I Learned By (The End Of) Age 30
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: New week, New Hurdle Moment. My name is Emily Abadi.
- 0:04Speaker 1: You are listening to Hurdle, a podcast that talks to
- 0:07Speaker 1: everyone from entrepreneurs to CEOs and athletes about how they
- 0:11Speaker 1: got through times hurdles of sorts by leaning into wellness.
- 0:15Speaker 1: It's Wednesday, which means it is Hurdle Moment time, and
- 0:18Speaker 1: this week I am chatting about the thirty lessons I
- 0:21Speaker 1: learned before thirty, which feels kind of like I'm twisting
- 0:24Speaker 1: the truth a little bit. I uh, my birthdays on Sunday,
- 0:28Speaker 1: I'm turning thirty one, and I'd be lying if I
- 0:31Speaker 1: didn't admit that I'm feeling some kind of way about that.
- 0:34Speaker 1: I feel like when I got to thirty, I felt
- 0:37Speaker 1: optimistic and excited and just like the world was my oyster.
- 0:41Speaker 1: And it's not that I don't feel like the world
- 0:43Speaker 1: is my oyster anymore. I just kind of feel like
- 0:46Speaker 1: thirty one is a little bit closer to forty. I
- 0:50Speaker 1: will say that despite the uncertainty that comes with adding
- 0:54Speaker 1: another year, I can say for sure that I've learned
- 0:56Speaker 1: a lot of things along the way, many of which
- 0:59Speaker 1: I would have killed to know maybe five ten years ago.
- 1:03Speaker 1: So with that, said, I'm not going to bore you
- 1:06Speaker 1: too much with rambling this week. You know the Drill
- 1:08Speaker 1: at Hurdle podcast on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. Make sure
- 1:13Speaker 1: to shoot me an email if you have any questions.
- 1:15Speaker 1: If you also feel a little unsure about getting older
- 1:18Speaker 1: at Emily at Hurdle dot us and yeah, as you're
- 1:22Speaker 1: listening today, do me a favor. Post to your Instagram,
- 1:25Speaker 1: share it with a friend, tag someone that you feel
- 1:28Speaker 1: I can really get something out of the pod. The
- 1:30Speaker 1: more hurdlers in this community, the better, if you ask me.
- 1:34Speaker 1: And with that, let's get to this week's hurdle moment. Well,
- 1:50Speaker 1: I didn't make a thirty under thirty list, which is okay,
- 1:53Speaker 1: no big deal. There's still a lot of other things
- 1:56Speaker 1: I'm proud of in my thirty years on this earth.
- 1:58Speaker 1: But what I will say is that by now I
- 2:01Speaker 1: can say with some confidence that I've been around the
- 2:04Speaker 1: block a little bit. You know, I've been doing this
- 2:07Speaker 1: career woman thing for over ten years now, and I've
- 2:11Speaker 1: been on my own being my own boss for almost
- 2:15Speaker 1: three and in that time, I've learned a whole lot
- 2:19Speaker 1: about myself, about interacting with others, about how to get
- 2:23Speaker 1: hopefully what it is that I want in this crazy,
- 2:28Speaker 1: crazy world. And so with that I bring you the
- 2:33Speaker 1: thirty lessons I learned by the end of age thirty.
- 2:38Speaker 1: This is quite the list, so I'm going to hop
- 2:39Speaker 1: right to it. Lesson number one, Treat others how you
- 2:43Speaker 1: want to be treated. There's this saying that you never
- 2:46Speaker 1: forget how someone makes you feel, and I've got to
- 2:49Speaker 1: admit I think that's pretty true. If you can be
- 2:51Speaker 1: the bigger person whenever possible, be good to people, hope
- 2:55Speaker 1: that karma will come back around, I can guarantee you
- 2:59Speaker 1: you will never regret that. Lesson number two tackle the
- 3:04Speaker 1: monster first. Man. Every day when I make my to
- 3:07Speaker 1: do list, I swear there's at least one thing that
- 3:10Speaker 1: I want absolutely nothing to do with on there. But
- 3:13Speaker 1: that's always going to happen, right There are always going
- 3:15Speaker 1: to be things that feel intimidating and scary and that
- 3:18Speaker 1: you just don't want to do. The reality is is
- 3:21Speaker 1: that sometimes you gotta put the hard stuff first. You
- 3:25Speaker 1: gotta tackle the monster before you can get on with
- 3:28Speaker 1: the other parts of your day, and trust me, when
- 3:31Speaker 1: you do, you won't regret it. Lesson number three sweat daily.
- 3:37Speaker 1: If you know anything about me. You know that exercise
- 3:39Speaker 1: is a huge part of my morning routine, and trust me,
- 3:43Speaker 1: making time to sweat to work out it makes you
- 3:47Speaker 1: feel better, it makes you feel more alert, and it
- 3:49Speaker 1: makes you feel more productive. For me, I get it
- 3:53Speaker 1: done first thing in the morning. It sets the tone
- 3:55Speaker 1: for my day. But what's really important is that you're
- 3:57Speaker 1: just fitting it into your schedule however it feels right
- 4:00Speaker 1: to you. You don't need to do whatever activity somebody
- 4:04Speaker 1: else does either. What you need to do is what
- 4:06Speaker 1: feels good for you, what feels fun for you. Trust me,
- 4:10Speaker 1: when you find something you like to do when it
- 4:13Speaker 1: comes to working out, it's something you're going to stick
- 4:15Speaker 1: with and that is super critical. Lesson number four give back. Now, Honestly,
- 4:23Speaker 1: I'm still figuring out how this fits as a regular
- 4:25Speaker 1: piece of my life, but I'm constantly trying to find
- 4:28Speaker 1: ways to give back to the community that I live in.
- 4:30Speaker 1: For a while there, I was running with this organization.
- 4:33Speaker 1: It's called Back on My Feet. They recruit individuals at
- 4:36Speaker 1: homeless or addiction and treatment facilities around the country to
- 4:40Speaker 1: commit to run three early mornings a week, and I
- 4:42Speaker 1: was running about twenty blocks north into Harlem to meet
- 4:46Speaker 1: with guys at the Bowery Mission and do some running
- 4:49Speaker 1: up there. That got a little bit difficult to stick
- 4:52Speaker 1: with when I started traveling more for work. But what
- 4:54Speaker 1: I will say is that I try really regularly to
- 4:57Speaker 1: give back, not just because it feels good, but again,
- 5:01Speaker 1: it's karma. We are lucky to have the opportunity to
- 5:04Speaker 1: show up for others, to do things for others, and hey,
- 5:07Speaker 1: a little giving back now and then it goes a
- 5:09Speaker 1: long way less than number five. Write down your goals.
- 5:14Speaker 1: I cannot stress this enough. Writing down your goals helps
- 5:18Speaker 1: to remind you of what you are trying to achieve period. Now.
- 5:21Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of different strategies about where to
- 5:24Speaker 1: write these down. When I talk to Robin Arson for Hurdle,
- 5:27Speaker 1: she told me that she keeps sticky notes around her
- 5:30Speaker 1: entire apartment of different motivation and goals and things to
- 5:33Speaker 1: keep her on the right track. And I totally respect that.
- 5:37Speaker 1: For me, I'm writing down different goals on the first
- 5:40Speaker 1: of every month, the first workday of the month, when
- 5:42Speaker 1: I'm back in the office. It helps to keep me
- 5:44Speaker 1: on track. It gives me a moment of pause, is
- 5:46Speaker 1: I take a look at what was going on last
- 5:49Speaker 1: month and what I hope to accomplish. And then I also,
- 5:51Speaker 1: as many people do, write down goals at the beginning
- 5:53Speaker 1: of the year, those New Year's resolutions. And what I
- 5:56Speaker 1: do is I set a calendar reminder in my phone
- 6:00Speaker 1: orderly when I go to pay my estimated taxes, as
- 6:03Speaker 1: responsible contractors do, I also make sure to check in
- 6:08Speaker 1: on those goals. I talked a lot about smart goals
- 6:11Speaker 1: here on the pod, and part of that is making
- 6:14Speaker 1: sure that they are time down. So a lot of
- 6:15Speaker 1: those goals that I set for a New Year's Day,
- 6:18Speaker 1: those resolutions, they have a check in point, which is
- 6:21Speaker 1: for me to make sure that, hey, are you making
- 6:23Speaker 1: progress and the things you really promised yourself that you
- 6:25Speaker 1: would do this year? Lesson number six, trust your gut. Granted,
- 6:31Speaker 1: there are going to be times that you don't want to.
- 6:33Speaker 1: I feel like that happens to me all the time.
- 6:36Speaker 1: But nine times out of ten, well, your gut's right.
- 6:40Speaker 1: Whether it's in business or in your relationships or whatever
- 6:43Speaker 1: it may be. You've got to lead with your heart.
- 6:46Speaker 1: You've got to follow your moral compass. Number seven. The
- 6:50Speaker 1: most powerful words you have in your vocabulary are yes
- 6:54Speaker 1: and no. And the thing about that is for me.
- 6:57Speaker 1: It took a long time to be okay with saying no.
- 7:00Speaker 1: I'm a person that likes to make everybody happy. But
- 7:02Speaker 1: I read a quote not too long ago it said,
- 7:04Speaker 1: be okay with saying no and not having to explain yourself.
- 7:08Speaker 1: There is so much power in that, right. There was
- 7:11Speaker 1: so much power to listening to your gut like that
- 7:14Speaker 1: lesson number six, but also just understanding that it's okay
- 7:18Speaker 1: to take a step back. If you need to take
- 7:21Speaker 1: a step back. You won't be able to say yes
- 7:23Speaker 1: every time. You might want to say no more times
- 7:25Speaker 1: than other. That's cool. Own your power. You deserve that
- 7:30Speaker 1: less than number eight. Be present in your relationships. About
- 7:34Speaker 1: a year ago, I had a really long conversation with
- 7:36Speaker 1: a good friend of mine who told me that she
- 7:38Speaker 1: wanted me to be more present when I was around her.
- 7:41Speaker 1: It really hit home, to be honest with you, I mean,
- 7:43Speaker 1: she told me that she always felt like my head
- 7:45Speaker 1: was in a thousand places when we were sitting right
- 7:48Speaker 1: next to each other, and that's because I would be
- 7:51Speaker 1: lying if I said that it wasn't. I felt like
- 7:53Speaker 1: I was doing my best, but in actuality I was
- 7:56Speaker 1: clearly sporadic and so since that conversation, I've made a
- 8:00Speaker 1: really big effort to show up to be where my
- 8:03Speaker 1: feet are. It was one of my twenty nineteen resolutions
- 8:06Speaker 1: just to be present in business, with my relationships with
- 8:10Speaker 1: my friends. All I want to do is show up
- 8:12Speaker 1: for the people I care about, and there's so much
- 8:15Speaker 1: value in that. Lesson number nine. Invest in yourself. I'm
- 8:19Speaker 1: a huge giver of my time, of my energy of things,
- 8:23Speaker 1: and it's definitely how I show people that I care
- 8:27Speaker 1: about them. But really, if I'm not willing to invest
- 8:30Speaker 1: in myself, if I'm not willing to give to me
- 8:33Speaker 1: like I'm willing to give to others, then I'm not
- 8:35Speaker 1: going to be the best version of Emily that I
- 8:38Speaker 1: need to be in this world. You've got to invest
- 8:41Speaker 1: in yourself. You've got to spend the time, whether it's
- 8:43Speaker 1: monetarily or just taking a step back every now and
- 8:46Speaker 1: again and listening to what's going on. That voice inside
- 8:49Speaker 1: your head that says, hey, I need a break. You
- 8:52Speaker 1: are worth it. Lesson number ten. Finding passion is important. Now,
- 8:59Speaker 1: it would mean nice if that passion was at work,
- 9:02Speaker 1: but if it's not, that's okay. You owe to yourself
- 9:05Speaker 1: to regularly find things in life that truly make you
- 9:08Speaker 1: feel ignited, make you feel on fire, and incorporate them
- 9:13Speaker 1: into your routine as much as possible. Every day isn't
- 9:17Speaker 1: going to be the best day ever, But what if
- 9:20Speaker 1: every day involves something that made you smile? For me,
- 9:23Speaker 1: a lot of the times, that's running or connecting with
- 9:26Speaker 1: my family or chatting up with my friends. For me,
- 9:30Speaker 1: it's connecting with all of you that makes me feel fulfilled.
- 9:35Speaker 1: That is my passion, and finding that is irreplaceable. Less
- 9:39Speaker 1: than number eleven. Everyone isn't gonna like you. That's hard
- 9:44Speaker 1: to write, especially for people pleaser. You know, if you're
- 9:47Speaker 1: trying to be someone that everybody likes, you'll probably lose
- 9:50Speaker 1: part of yourself in the process. And I get it.
- 9:52Speaker 1: It's human nature to want to belong and to be light,
- 9:56Speaker 1: but it's not worth it at the expense of the
- 9:58Speaker 1: things that make you happy. Lesson number twelve. Jealousy is
- 10:03Speaker 1: a wasted emotion. It's kind of heavy right, Feeling jealous
- 10:07Speaker 1: feels awful. It doesn't serve our purpose if you think
- 10:10Speaker 1: about it. Being jealous is like being irrationally angry, and
- 10:15Speaker 1: it gets you nowhere. When you're in a jealous fog.
- 10:18Speaker 1: You probably aren't thinking clearly, you definitely aren't expressing yourself. Well,
- 10:22Speaker 1: oh god, I can only think of the conversations I've
- 10:25Speaker 1: had lately, and I mean, when you feel jealous, just
- 10:27Speaker 1: try this one little tip. I take twenty, seriously, twenty
- 10:32Speaker 1: deep breaths. Those twenty breaths could take like two to
- 10:36Speaker 1: three minutes. During that time, all I do is I
- 10:39Speaker 1: focus on the inhale and the exhale. It's easy to
- 10:44Speaker 1: get in your head about things. It takes a really
- 10:47Speaker 1: big person to accept what's happening, to let it go,
- 10:52Speaker 1: and to move forward. Lesson number thirteen, Every situation is
- 10:57Speaker 1: something worth learning from. I talk about this a lot.
- 11:01Speaker 1: Whether it's a total win or a total failure, the
- 11:04Speaker 1: things that are going on in our day to day
- 11:07Speaker 1: they happen to teach us something. It takes a really
- 11:10Speaker 1: strong person to understand that when a failure quote unquote happens,
- 11:15Speaker 1: it's not wasted time. It's an opportunity to learn, it's
- 11:19Speaker 1: an opportunity to grow. You know, there have been plenty
- 11:22Speaker 1: of times in my life where I feel like I've
- 11:24Speaker 1: been totally at a dead end, getting laid off twice.
- 11:27Speaker 1: That's not easy stuff, but those things in my life,
- 11:32Speaker 1: they each taught me that I'm capable of standing on
- 11:34Speaker 1: my own two feet. It's kind of how I feel
- 11:37Speaker 1: about running. Like when I ran the Boston Marathon. I
- 11:41Speaker 1: could have been mad that the weather was awful. I
- 11:44Speaker 1: could have been mad about things I couldn't control, But
- 11:47Speaker 1: the reality was is that even though that day didn't
- 11:49Speaker 1: go as planned, even though I could have viewed it
- 11:52Speaker 1: as a total misstep, that day taught me that with
- 11:56Speaker 1: the right mindset, I'm literally capable of anything I see
- 12:00Speaker 1: at my mind too, And so are you lesson number fourteen,
- 12:04Speaker 1: you are what's happening in your head. The Boston example
- 12:08Speaker 1: is a great example. I could have gone into that
- 12:10Speaker 1: race thinking that I was going to be awful, that
- 12:12Speaker 1: the day was going to be awful, that it was
- 12:14Speaker 1: going to suck. But instead I kept my chin up
- 12:17Speaker 1: and I realized that all I could do was the
- 12:19Speaker 1: best I could with what I had in the moment.
- 12:22Speaker 1: You get to decide how you're going to view what's
- 12:25Speaker 1: happening around you. So if you tell yourself this isn't
- 12:28Speaker 1: going to go well, then surprise, it's probably not going
- 12:32Speaker 1: to go well. You want change be change. You want
- 12:36Speaker 1: to tract light b light. You have the opportunity to
- 12:42Speaker 1: set the stage less than number fifteen. Think of your
- 12:47Speaker 1: desired outcome. My cousin Mark taught me this a few
- 12:50Speaker 1: years ago when we were talking about having rough conversations
- 12:54Speaker 1: with people that we care about. He asked me, what
- 12:57Speaker 1: is it that you want from this particular talk, and
- 13:00Speaker 1: in order to get to this outcome, what do you
- 13:03Speaker 1: need to explain or have prepared in order to have
- 13:06Speaker 1: a more productive conversation. It does feel a little manipulative,
- 13:11Speaker 1: but it's important to keep your own best interest at heart.
- 13:14Speaker 1: For example, if you want to get a raise at work,
- 13:16Speaker 1: you have to come up with the reasons why you
- 13:18Speaker 1: are worthy of that raise, not just walk in there
- 13:21Speaker 1: and say, well, this is what I want. With all
- 13:24Speaker 1: of your goals, with all the things that you want
- 13:26Speaker 1: in life, you have the chance to sit down and
- 13:29Speaker 1: frame out how can I go after those things in
- 13:33Speaker 1: a way that's beneficial to me. And that's pretty powerful.
- 13:37Speaker 1: Lesson sixteen. Let the past be the past. Dwelling sucks again.
- 13:44Speaker 1: Everything in our life happens to teach us something. But
- 13:47Speaker 1: if you're sitting in the present, thinking over and over
- 13:50Speaker 1: and over, again. But the things that happened yesterday, about
- 13:52Speaker 1: the things that happened the day before, well, then you're
- 13:56Speaker 1: not going to be very present, and that's not really
- 13:58Speaker 1: going to help you move forward. Let go of what
- 14:01Speaker 1: was and open yourself to what will be. Lesson number seventeen,
- 14:06Speaker 1: It's okay to take a moment when things don't go
- 14:09Speaker 1: as planned. Man, I can be really hard on myself
- 14:11Speaker 1: about this, But what I learned a few years ago
- 14:14Speaker 1: I was interviewing don harper Nelson. She is a hurdler,
- 14:17Speaker 1: a track athlete, and she talked to me about the
- 14:19Speaker 1: Beijing Olympics when she famously tripped over the hurdle, and
- 14:23Speaker 1: she told me that it was really hard for her
- 14:26Speaker 1: to face the press after this experience. She didn't want
- 14:29Speaker 1: to own up to her mistake, that she wanted to
- 14:31Speaker 1: avoid the situation. But instead she took her moment. She
- 14:35Speaker 1: accepted that things didn't go as planned, she let herself
- 14:38Speaker 1: be upset, and then she did what she had to do.
- 14:42Speaker 1: And I'll always remember this interview because it taught me
- 14:44Speaker 1: this valuable lesson. It's okay to not be okay, but
- 14:48Speaker 1: it's not okay to dwell in that you owe it
- 14:51Speaker 1: to yourself, to pick your head up, to learn from
- 14:53Speaker 1: what's happened and move forward. Lesson number eighteen, handwritten notes
- 14:58Speaker 1: are golden. I have a very special friend. His name
- 15:01Speaker 1: is Tom, and he sent me last year a note
- 15:04Speaker 1: that I keep on my refrigerator that says something along
- 15:07Speaker 1: lines of when we were ten, we talked about what
- 15:10Speaker 1: life would be like when we were twenty, and when
- 15:12Speaker 1: we were in our twenties, we talked about what life
- 15:14Speaker 1: would be like when we are thirty. And now you
- 15:16Speaker 1: are thirty, and there is so much opportunity for you,
- 15:20Speaker 1: and you are doing so much more than you ever imagined.
- 15:24Speaker 1: A little handwritten note it probably took him five to
- 15:28Speaker 1: ten minutes to pen, but it's something that I keep
- 15:32Speaker 1: with me and meant the world. And that's exactly why
- 15:35Speaker 1: when I was penning my twenty nineteen resolutions, I made
- 15:38Speaker 1: a vow to write two to three of them every month.
- 15:41Speaker 1: It's really special to have the opportunity to let the
- 15:44Speaker 1: people that you care about know that you care about them.
- 15:46Speaker 1: Lesson number nineteen. Start every day by making your bed.
- 15:51Speaker 1: I remember when I talked to Adam Callen. He's the
- 15:53Speaker 1: co founder of Jane Motorcycles. On hurdle. He told me
- 15:56Speaker 1: that this is something he learned early on, because when
- 15:58Speaker 1: you make your bed, you start off the day with
- 16:01Speaker 1: a win. You start off the day by checking off
- 16:04Speaker 1: something super simple from your to do list. That's how
- 16:07Speaker 1: I start my day every day, and I suggest that
- 16:11Speaker 1: maybe you do the same. Lesson number twenty don't get
- 16:14Speaker 1: back into that bed angry with anyone right at work,
- 16:19Speaker 1: with your friends, with your partner, with your parents, whatever
- 16:23Speaker 1: the situation may be. Hopefully you have the chance to
- 16:27Speaker 1: talk it out. But if you don't, I suggest maybe
- 16:30Speaker 1: you write it down. I have a gratitude journal I
- 16:33Speaker 1: keep every day, and I try to at the end
- 16:35Speaker 1: of the day before passing out, which often happens pretty quickly.
- 16:40Speaker 1: I write down what's on my mind, and if I'm
- 16:43Speaker 1: frustrated or upset or feel like things are out of
- 16:46Speaker 1: my control, taking the time to put pen to paper
- 16:49Speaker 1: just makes me feel as though if I'm getting something back,
- 16:52Speaker 1: if I'm taking back that control. Lesson number twenty one.
- 16:59Speaker 1: Always take the meeting. You never know what's going to
- 17:02Speaker 1: happen when somebody reaches out to you, even if it's
- 17:05Speaker 1: in business and someone's reaching out to you about a
- 17:07Speaker 1: job that you might not be interested in. The best
- 17:10Speaker 1: thing you can do is still get to know what's up,
- 17:13Speaker 1: make some FaceTime connect in real life, there is nothing
- 17:18Speaker 1: better than one on one interaction, than having some eye
- 17:22Speaker 1: contact with someone. At the beginning of twenty eighteen, I
- 17:25Speaker 1: made the resolution that every single week I would make
- 17:29Speaker 1: the commitment to meet with one new person. There's something
- 17:33Speaker 1: to be learned from every single person that you sit
- 17:36Speaker 1: down with less than twenty two. Celebrate the small wins.
- 17:42Speaker 1: I have so many lofty goals in my life. Like
- 17:44Speaker 1: I said that, I'm constantly articulating. But the thing is
- 17:48Speaker 1: is if you're constantly focused on those bigger picture items
- 17:52Speaker 1: and the things that take a long time, then it's
- 17:54Speaker 1: easy to get frustrated or lose sight of what's in
- 17:57Speaker 1: front of you. When you take a step back and
- 18:00Speaker 1: you recognize the small winds, it makes every day feel progressive.
- 18:04Speaker 1: It makes you feel good about you. For instance, when
- 18:08Speaker 1: I was losing weight back in college, every day had
- 18:11Speaker 1: a small wind. Some days it was okay, I actually
- 18:14Speaker 1: stayed on the treadmill for a full thirty minutes today,
- 18:17Speaker 1: and others maybe it was wow, I didn't go up
- 18:20Speaker 1: for seconds at the ice cream counter whatever it was.
- 18:24Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. There are small victories in
- 18:26Speaker 1: every day, and for me, I helped to see those
- 18:29Speaker 1: by again writing in that gratitude journal, by finding the
- 18:32Speaker 1: good things that make me smile throughout every twenty four hours.
- 18:36Speaker 1: It's a simple, easy thing that takes a little to
- 18:39Speaker 1: no time that really helps to put things in perspective
- 18:43Speaker 1: less than twenty three smile often. I once talked to
- 18:48Speaker 1: someone who told me that the first thing she does
- 18:50Speaker 1: in the morning is literally walk into her bathroom, splash
- 18:53Speaker 1: some water on her face, and smile in the mirror.
- 18:56Speaker 1: The thing about smiling is it does make you happy,
- 18:59Speaker 1: you know, it does put you in a good mood.
- 19:02Speaker 1: Lesson number twenty four, Celebrate other people. Reflecting on another
- 19:08Speaker 1: Hurdle episode with Kirsty Gods Nike Master Trainer, we talked
- 19:12Speaker 1: about the value of how good it is to have
- 19:14Speaker 1: friends that you can show up for and celebrate. She said,
- 19:18Speaker 1: I remember that it takes a really interesting person to
- 19:21Speaker 1: not be able to show up for the people that
- 19:23Speaker 1: they care about. The thing is is that we have
- 19:25Speaker 1: the opportunity to get excited for our friends, to celebrate
- 19:29Speaker 1: their victories and their wins and that's really awesome. Maybe
- 19:33Speaker 1: for just a second, put aside the things that mean
- 19:35Speaker 1: something to you to be there for someone else. They
- 19:39Speaker 1: will always remember that you showed up, which brings me
- 19:44Speaker 1: to lesson number twenty five, show up. There are gonna
- 19:48Speaker 1: be days that you're cranky, that you're tired, that you
- 19:50Speaker 1: want to skip out on an event or a birthday dinner,
- 19:53Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. But again, the people
- 19:57Speaker 1: in your life, whether they're an acquaintance or a good friend,
- 19:59Speaker 1: or family or what have you, they're always going to
- 20:02Speaker 1: remember your presence and that you were there. Lesson number
- 20:05Speaker 1: twenty six. Silence is golden. This took a little while
- 20:11Speaker 1: for me to realize. If I'm being honest, it's easy
- 20:13Speaker 1: to have an opinion, right, It's easy to say what's
- 20:16Speaker 1: on your mind. But when you let someone else talk,
- 20:19Speaker 1: when you let them weigh in, when you give them
- 20:22Speaker 1: time to think, it really opens up a discussion. Maybe
- 20:26Speaker 1: you don't know what you're looking for out of a
- 20:28Speaker 1: certain conversation, or maybe you just need some time to reflect.
- 20:32Speaker 1: When you let the silence linger, someone sooner or later
- 20:37Speaker 1: is going to say something, and it's okay at that
- 20:40Speaker 1: moment maybe not to have all the answers, but what
- 20:42Speaker 1: can happen in that silence? It's golden. I mean especially
- 20:46Speaker 1: in podcasts, right, It's like you listen and whenever there's
- 20:50Speaker 1: a pause, you know, something profound, something valuable, oftentimes something
- 20:56Speaker 1: super emotional. That's what's coming down the pipe. So sometimes
- 21:01Speaker 1: just keep your mouth shut, you know, see what happens.
- 21:04Speaker 1: Lesson number twenty seven. Be enthusiastic. Lately, I've been revisiting
- 21:10Speaker 1: this idea of living in and I'll say this kosher,
- 21:14Speaker 1: so it's not censored f yes or f no kind
- 21:18Speaker 1: of existence. That they are going to be things in
- 21:20Speaker 1: your life that you feel super passionate about and things
- 21:23Speaker 1: in your life that you're like, eh. But when you
- 21:25Speaker 1: are passionate, when you are ready and you are committed,
- 21:28Speaker 1: you owe it to yourself to the cause to really
- 21:32Speaker 1: show up and be enthusiastic about the task in front
- 21:35Speaker 1: of you. That's a number twenty eight. You determine your priorities. God,
- 21:42Speaker 1: I can't relate with this enough. I you know, you
- 21:44Speaker 1: make time for the things that you care about period,
- 21:47Speaker 1: whether that's fitness or relationships, oh God, or dating. I mean,
- 21:51Speaker 1: you're going to show up for the things that matter
- 21:53Speaker 1: to you. If you don't make time for another person
- 21:56Speaker 1: to be honest with you, you probably don't really care
- 21:58Speaker 1: about that other person. Granted, there are going to be
- 22:00Speaker 1: situations where you're busy and other things get in the way,
- 22:03Speaker 1: and that's okay. But when you have a priority, you
- 22:06Speaker 1: make sure that that thing, that that person, that that
- 22:10Speaker 1: obligation they get part of you. And that also means
- 22:14Speaker 1: that if someone is a priority and there is a conflict,
- 22:17Speaker 1: you make sure to find them at another time. You
- 22:19Speaker 1: make sure to reschedule them. So, for instance, if a
- 22:23Speaker 1: friend of yours wants to go to yoga on Tuesday
- 22:27Speaker 1: and you have a work conflict, you don't just say,
- 22:30Speaker 1: oh sorry, I can't make it. Maybe instead you say,
- 22:34Speaker 1: oh sorry I can't make it, what are you doing
- 22:36Speaker 1: Sunday afternoon? Instead, it's a small gesture that goes a
- 22:41Speaker 1: really long way, and it shows the other person that
- 22:44Speaker 1: you really really care. Again, this is your opportunity to
- 22:49Speaker 1: show up. This is your opportunity to make things important
- 22:53Speaker 1: in your own life. Less than number twenty nine. It's
- 22:57Speaker 1: my family motto, do good. My grandpa used to say
- 23:01Speaker 1: this test growing up when it came to anything from
- 23:03Speaker 1: an exam to I don't know my driver's test. All
- 23:07Speaker 1: you can do is the best you have. With what
- 23:09Speaker 1: you've got. You can do good. You can put your
- 23:11Speaker 1: heart into it. And if you do that, if you've
- 23:14Speaker 1: truly believed that you've given it everything you have, then
- 23:17Speaker 1: that's all you can ask, you know, unlesson number thirty
- 23:22Speaker 1: it's okay not to have all the answers. I do
- 23:25Speaker 1: not have everything figured out going out into thirty one.
- 23:28Speaker 1: But what I do know is that I'm open, I'm
- 23:31Speaker 1: ready to learn. I'm ready for whatever it is that
- 23:34Speaker 1: this crazy city, that this crazy existence is still ready
- 23:38Speaker 1: to throw my way. It can be frustrating at times
- 23:42Speaker 1: wanting to know the things that are in set and stone,
- 23:44Speaker 1: especially as someone who's super type A. But the reality
- 23:48Speaker 1: is is that sometimes you just got to go with it.
- 23:51Speaker 1: You've got to trust the process. It's gonna happen for
- 23:53Speaker 1: a reason, right. I guess maybe it's time for me
- 23:56Speaker 1: to take my own advice. Man. I hope these thirty
- 23:59Speaker 1: lessons they taught you a little something. My eyes are
- 24:02Speaker 1: wide open coming into thirty one, and I'm so excited
- 24:05Speaker 1: for the things that are coming my way. Please just
- 24:08Speaker 1: do me a quick favor and leave a review by
- 24:10Speaker 1: clicking the link with the description to this episode. We
- 24:13Speaker 1: all face multiple hurdles in life, and I want to
- 24:16Speaker 1: hear about yours. Reach Out to me at Emily at
- 24:18Speaker 1: hurdle dot us, connect with the podcast on Instagram and
- 24:21Speaker 1: Twitter at Hurdle podcast. Let me know the lessons you're
- 24:25Speaker 1: learning lately. I want to hear them. I want to
- 24:27Speaker 1: connect with you. Trust me. One of the best parts
- 24:31Speaker 1: of my thirty years. It's all of this, Another hurdle conquered.
- 24:36Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.