Latest / Is Your Way In Your Way? / Crafting a Life of Authenticity: Erica Shoop's Journey to Empowering Neurodivergent Communities

Transcript

Crafting a Life of Authenticity: Erica Shoop's Journey to Empowering Neurodivergent Communities · Is Your Way In Your Way?

• 0:25
  Cassandra: Good day out there to all of my listeners and I'd like to welcome you to In your Way In your Way podcast and I'm your host, cassandra Crawley-Mayo and for my new listeners out there.
• 0:37
  Cassandra: Let me share with you what this podcast is all about.
• 0:40
  Cassandra: It's for individuals who I call stuck.
• 0:43
  Cassandra: It's kind of like your soul is calling you to something but you just can't figure it out.
• 0:49
  Cassandra: You just you kind of got it but you just can't get started.
• 0:53
  Cassandra: You can't put that foot, just move just a little bit, so anyway.
• 0:58
  Cassandra: So that's why we talk about topics related to, I call self-improvement, business development, and also enables you to do some self-reflection in addition to self-awareness, because you have to be aware of what's going on within for you to determine what it is, what's stopping you and all of that kind of stuff.
• 1:18
  Cassandra: And I have a special guest on today and her name is Erica Shoop and she's going to talk about building a sustainable, fulfilling life with core values, creativity and community.
• 1:32
  Cassandra: Welcome to the stage, erica.
• 1:36
  Erica: Thank you so much for having me, cassandra.
• 1:38
  Erica: I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
• 1:41
  Cassandra: I have too girl, I have too.
• 1:43
  Cassandra: Now this is what I'm going to do.
• 1:44
  Cassandra: I'm going to read a little bit of your bio so that the listeners will get to know a little bit more about you before we delve into the real.
• 1:53
  Cassandra: Real, you right?
• 1:54
  Cassandra: So Erica Shoop is a visionary leader in self-employment.
• 2:01
  Cassandra: I actually just called her self-employment queen because you know a lot of you guys really want to be self-employed and you haven't made that move.
• 2:09
  Cassandra: She says self-employment does not have to be a grind that costs you your life, and that is so true.
• 2:19
  Cassandra: She rejects the hustle culture in favor of a holistic approach.
• 2:24
  Cassandra: With a rich background in business, coaching and community building, erica guides individuals on a journey of self-discovery and balance.
• 2:35
  Cassandra: She was diagnosed with ADHD, attention deficit, hyperactive disorder and OCB obsessive compulsive disorder.
• 2:46
  Cassandra: I think I have a little bit of that.
• 2:48
  Cassandra: I'll talk about that.
• 2:49
  Cassandra: Of this disorder, I think I have a little bit of that.
• 2:52
  Cassandra: I'll talk about that In adulthood.
• 2:53
  Cassandra: She offers creative solutions to help neurodivergent individuals build sustainable, fulfilling lives.
• 3:00
  Cassandra: As the co-founder of Kula, which is a thriving community for neurodivergent people, erica is passionate about helping others grow while creating harmony in both life and business.
• 3:13
  Cassandra: Now, erica, one of the questions I want to ask to get started is would you define neurodivergent for my listeners?
• 3:23
  Erica: What is that?
• 3:23
  Erica: Of course, neurodivergent is a bit of an umbrella term and what it suggests in the name is that the way that you're naturally wired is a divergence from a norm.
• 3:38
  Erica: So neurotypical would be.
• 3:40
  Erica: You don't have a diagnosis of any kind.
• 3:43
  Erica: Things are operating, I guess, sort of as they should.
• 3:52
  Erica: However, I think the stance of a lot of people in the neurodivergent community is it's not um, like the negative sort of connotation of diverging from a norm versus just saying I'm wired differently is is a little bit um, I think, easier to digest but makes us feel um, I think it.
• 4:11
  Erica: I think it gives me a little bit more empowerment around.
• 4:14
  Erica: Some of these things encompass a lot of things, um adhd, autism, um ocd, even dyslexia, um dyspraxia, and and even being a formally diagnosed as like a highly sensitive person or empath is a form of neurodivergence.
• 4:35
  Erica: There's a lot of overlap with empaths and highly sensitive people with other neurodivergent diagnoses as well.
• 4:42
  Erica: So it can kind of encompass different things, but it boils down to like your brain is just wired differently.
• 4:51
  Erica: Wired differently and it doesn't mean that because it's wired differently that you cannot live your best life on your terms right, exactly, this might mean that you have to be a little bit more creative, which, when when I was first introduced to you and your work is your way and your way, like so many neurodivergent people, end up feeling stuck because the way that we're told to do things, or the way that we are supposed to do things, just doesn't with how our brains are wired.
• 5:22
  Erica: So sometimes we have to be a bit more creative to get ourselves unstuck.
• 5:26
  Cassandra: Right, that's good, that's great.
• 5:29
  Cassandra: Let me, before you started, helping what I'm going to call your Kula members turn their dreams of sustainable and fulfilling life into reality, tell us a little bit about your backstory.
• 5:45
  Cassandra: Before all of that, what was going on with Erica?
• 5:51
  Erica: Well, I think, like many women growing up, I was just sort of like the good kid, the rule follower, just trying to learn the rules, trying to not make waves, trying to do the things that I was supposed to do.
• 6:06
  Erica: But I think that I was always kind of ambitious and, like secretly in the back of my mind, like wondering why some of these things were the way they were.
• 6:15
  Erica: So I went about my life and I checked a lot of boxes, I, you know like I got married, I we bought a house, I had a job, all the things.
• 6:24
  Erica: And then I was just like and when does this get good?
• 6:27
  Erica: Um, and so for me there was a big turning point, you know, right around the time where everyone else was evaluating a lot of things during the pandemic, and I decided that I needed a really big transformational shift in order for me to start living more authentically.
• 6:43
  Erica: And so I went off on my own for the first time in my life and kind of dismantled everything that I knew and started really figuring out what was true for me and what I was sort of told should be true for me and tried to really unpack that and create my own story.
• 7:06
  Erica: And tried to really unpack that and create my own story.
• 7:09
  Erica: From a career perspective, I had been a business coach in one capacity or another for several different companies.
• 7:16
  Erica: For, about that, I was capable of taking what I had done in the context of these companies and just doing it on my own.
• 7:47
  Cassandra: Wow, yeah, that's great because, you know, it's kind of like your perspective was OK, well, I got laid off, so now what?
• 7:51
  Cassandra: Rather than be bitter about it, which a lot of people are like, I dare you to lay me off, All these things I've done for you, you know, and so I'm going to turn this to lemonade.
• 8:03
  Erica: Yeah, just taking matters into my own hands.
• 8:06
  Cassandra: Exactly so.
• 8:07
  Cassandra: What was that transition like, though, erica?
• 8:09
  Cassandra: From now you were a business coach, and the entire time for your 15 years, and come in different companies.
• 8:17
  Erica: I mean more or less I.
• 8:18
  Erica: I actually graduated with a degree in kinesiology, um, the study of the human body, and I was a personal trainer and group fitness instructor and I was working in a gym.
• 8:31
  Erica: But then I went to work for a global group fitness company and was taking sort of more of the business side of things where we were like coaching the businesses who had our programs and all of that kind of stuff.
• 8:45
  Erica: So I started out thinking that I was going to be a health and physical education teacher, a personal trainer, like doing something along those lines.
• 8:54
  Erica: It turned out that my teaching is just happening in a different capacity.
• 8:59
  Erica: Now I just work directly with business owners who are trying to build and grow businesses.
• 9:06
  Cassandra: OK, what is it to you about self-employment?
• 9:12
  Cassandra: Like I called you the self-employment queen, because there are so many people, particularly during the pandemic and after was, like I want to do my own thing.
• 9:44
  Cassandra: You know how do I do that?
• 9:46
  Cassandra: Like what should I do?
• 9:47
  Cassandra: So they're mulling over, thinking about what is it that I want to do.
• 9:52
  Cassandra: So it's kind of like, like you indicated, growing up, it was always something in the back of your mind that you wanted to be ambitious, that this is something you wanted to do right.
• 10:07
  Erica: Yeah, excuse me, I think I think you're exactly right.
• 10:13
  Erica: There was a bit of like everybody was kind of like really reevaluating things during the pandemic and what's most important.
• 10:21
  Erica: And I think for me that push was like I struggle with like the nine to five schedule or like the um, the rigidity of like corporate office life.
• 10:35
  Erica: In you know, in retrospect it's because my brain isn't necessarily wired for it.
• 10:42
  Erica: It just feels like constant, like tension and conflict, and so I think there are a lot of people who are sort of feeling the same thing where, like when you start to realign your priorities and drill down into what's most important to you and what you really value.
• 10:59
  Erica: For me it's freedom and being able to have harmony in my life, have flexibility to go do the things that I want to do or build relationships with the people I want to build relationships with and to still have a livelihood that supports me being able to do that to, to still have that freedom and flexibility.
• 11:18
  Erica: And I think when we, when we lost a lot of our autonomy out of necessity, you know, to be able to protect one another during that really tough time, I was like, okay, well, what do I actually want my life to look like.
• 11:32
  Erica: So the idea of being self-employed did become really appealing to a lot of people.
• 11:38
  Erica: Plus, everything was so unpredictable, with layoffs, and you know, the company that I was working for at the time went through like three different waves of restructures and reorgs and all of that stuff.
• 11:49
  Erica: So when that kind of stuff is always out of your control, there's definitely this like.
• 11:56
  Erica: Sometimes you just get this like fire in your belly to like be in control of that situation and take matters into your own hands.
• 12:04
  Erica: Um, and I love that, because I think building a livelihood that can support this beautiful, full, harmonious life is the best thing that we can do for ourselves and, honestly, for the world, because more happier people makes more happier people.
• 12:19
  Erica: It's, you know, it's just a ripple effect, exactly.
• 12:25
  Cassandra: I think it's a beautiful thing Right Now.
• 12:27
  Cassandra: You mentioned and as I was like studying Erica core values are important, and I want you to talk about that, because when you ask some people, well, what are your core values?
• 12:40
  Cassandra: They I don't think they understand what that really is, and you indicated how the core values direct you to what it is that you want to do, so let's talk about those core values.
• 12:56
  Erica: Cassandra.
• 12:56
  Erica: This is so funny because in my corporate life I worked for a few different companies who had undergone like rebrands, you know, like we're we're re, we're going to create this whole new brand identity and part of that process is redefining what the brand's core values are, because the core values for a company are your guiding principles, it's how your executives make decisions, it's how people should be kind of interacting at work, and I'd gone through that process three times, three different times, through corporate environments.
• 13:28
  Erica: Never occurred to me to do it for myself, for Erica what are Erica's core values?
• 13:33
  Erica: What's my personal brand?
• 13:34
  Erica: And regardless of whether you want to be self-employed or not, I think going through the core values exercise is incredibly enlightening.
• 13:40
  Erica: So I did this during that very big transformational shift in my life when I was trying to redefine who I even am.
• 13:50
  Erica: I mean, there's a line in this book, in Glennon Doyle's book, untamed trying to remember who I was before the world told me who to be, and I was like poof time for me to remember who I am, and so I went through this exercise of crafting my personal core values and I felt like I saw myself on paper, truly myself, for the first time in my life.
• 14:18
  Erica: And from there on out it's like okay, well, this project or this client or this relationship, is it in alignment with what I value or is it not in alignment with what I?
• 14:29
  Cassandra: value.
• 14:31
  Erica: And for the recovering people pleaser in me, having that filter to pass things through.
• 14:38
  Erica: It gives me an easy yes or an easy no, even when saying no is sometimes hard for you.
• 14:45
  Erica: When you can see something that is either so clearly aligned or misaligned with your values, it changes the way that you make decisions about almost everything in your life.
• 14:58
  Cassandra: Give us an example Like what are some of your core values and how would that enable you to make a decision about what you want to do with your life?
• 15:08
  Erica: Yeah, one of my core values is curiosity.
• 15:14
  Erica: So for me in my business, when I'm thinking about, is this a client that I want to take on or a project that I want to take on?
• 15:25
  Erica: I don't although this might sound a little bit silly, like I don't always take on a project that I know is going to be easy for me.
• 15:30
  Erica: I don't always take on a project that I know is going to be easy for me.
• 15:32
  Erica: I want to take on projects where I know I'm going to be stretched a little bit and I'm going to have to learn new things, where I'm going to have to be forced to be curious, or where I'm going to be forced to take something that I've done before but figure out how to apply it in a new way.
• 15:46
  Erica: And so if I'm not going to have an opportunity to be curious in this, like with this client or this project, then I don't necessarily want to take that, because it's not going to move me towards alignment.
• 16:05
  Erica: It's going to pull me away from alignment.
• 16:07
  Erica: Okay, and frankly, because my ADHD brain is very interest driven, I will lose interest very quickly if I'm not being adequately challenged.
• 16:19
  Erica: So I know that that's a thing that I need to keep me motivated and engaged.
• 16:23
  Cassandra: Wow, that's amazing.
• 16:25
  Cassandra: When were you diagnosed with that?
• 16:30
  Erica: So I have been working with a therapist who specializes in um, in neurodivergence, for a little over a year.
• 16:39
  Erica: This is still a very new journey for me and, truthfully, like, while she is capable of diagnosing I I haven't gone through the full DSM process yet, but all signs point to yes and so in the neurodivergent community being able to self-diagnose.
• 16:58
  Erica: Because getting access to diagnosis is sometimes very difficult.
• 17:05
  Erica: There's a huge cost barrier, there are very long waiting lists and Um and a lot of women are missed or missed diagnosed, um particularly.
• 17:16
  Erica: Actually it applies like there's a lot of groups that are missed or misdiagnosed anyway Um women, people of color.
• 17:25
  Erica: Diagnostic criteria was made for um young boys, so typically children are being diagnosed between like the ages of two and eight, and so the more that the field has learned, the more they've learned how all these neurodivergent things present differently in different populations, but they're all so.
• 17:51
  Erica: So the understanding has broadened and being able to find someone and work with someone who knows what the newest and most up-to-date information is Um.
• 18:01
  Erica: You know she and I have worked together on kind of pinning down what what's going on in your brain?
• 18:08
  Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, Well, well, so I I may have some listeners that may have that.
• 18:18
  Cassandra: What?
• 18:22
  Erica: we call the neurodivergent.
• 18:22
  Cassandra: So what were the symptoms that you felt that I need to dig deep in this because something's not right.
• 18:34
  Erica: It's quite a list and I don't know.
• 18:36
  Erica: Okay, we may not have time for that list.
• 18:40
  Cassandra: No, no, no.
• 18:41
  Erica: For me.
• 18:41
  Erica: So for me, I'll just give you the highlights.
• 18:43
  Erica: For me, there is an element of both ADHD and autism, which is another thing that I'm actually exploring with my therapist, um called rejection sensitivity dysphoria.
• 18:57
  Erica: Um may or may not have heard of it, but it is a very severe and extreme sensitivity to rejection of any kind, or even perceived rejection.
• 19:08
  Erica: And so for people who have people pleasing or perfectionistic tendencies, sometimes that is rooted in a fear of rejection, Like I need to do everything perfectly the first time or I need to do it correctly, Otherwise I'm not good enough.
• 19:25
  Erica: Uh, I'm not worthy, like those kinds of cycling thoughts and um and so rejection.
• 19:32
  Erica: Sensitivity is probably one of the most prominent symptoms for me, which leads to a whole host of other things Again the perfectionism, the imposter syndrome.
• 19:42
  Erica: Um, the other thing is task paralysis and or demand avoidance.
• 19:50
  Erica: So these things are when you feel very overwhelmed, you know that there's something that you need to do, but you can't like mobilize yourself to start the task, to initiate the task, and you're constantly just feeling this stuckness.
• 20:07
  Cassandra: Yeah.
• 20:08
  Erica: That is an actual problem marker for both ADHD and autism, and so um.
• 20:16
  Erica: So it can be really, really challenging for neurodivergent people, and I I read recently that, I think, perfectly articulates the difference between just being like lazy and the task paralysis or demand avoidance.
• 20:33
  Erica: When you're being lazy, you enjoy it.
• 20:36
  Erica: So for people who are neurodivergent, who are struggling with task paralysis or demand avoidance, we are sitting there knowing the thing we need to do, not able to get ourselves moving, and then shaming ourselves for not being able to get ourselves moving, and then you just fall down this shame spiral.
• 20:54
  Erica: Yes, yes.
• 20:58
  Cassandra: Those are the big ones for me.
• 21:00
  Cassandra: Okay's good, that's good, because just listening to you, I'm like I wonder was I that you know?
• 21:05
  Cassandra: Because it could all fall into depression.
• 21:07
  Cassandra: You know, like when you reject.
• 21:09
  Erica: That is often misdiagnosed exactly so.
• 21:14
  Cassandra: Just your, your view on it is just enlightening and insightful, because when I was reading your bio and knowing about OCD obsessive compulsive disorder it's kind of like I want everything in order, everything has to be neat.
• 21:29
  Cassandra: You know, everything has to come over here.
• 21:31
  Cassandra: I'm like let me have some of that.
• 21:33
  Cassandra: You know I think about that, right?
• 21:34
  Cassandra: I?
• 21:35
  Erica: may have some of that.
• 21:36
  Erica: You know, I think about that Right and and for me so it's.
• 21:38
  Erica: It's so interesting because there's a huge overlap between ADHD, autism and OCD and I think that there's a little bit of the overlap symptoms in me.
• 21:48
  Erica: But for me it's not just I like to have things in order, it's like a visceral reaction in my body.
• 21:57
  Erica: When things are not in order Like I, I get very anxious over the smallest things not being in order.
• 22:11
  Cassandra: Yeah, okay, oh, thanks for clarifying that.
• 22:19
  Erica: Yeah, and, and there are different subtypes of OCD.
• 22:20
  Erica: Like there's a lot of um different threads you can pull here or google rabbit holes, you can fall down, but um, there's different subtypes of OCD.
• 22:25
  Erica: The one that resonates with me is called, just right, ocd, but again, there's a lot of similarities between that subtype and just autism or ADHD.
• 22:34
  Erica: So so you know, I found, I found this information simultaneously Like it's so empowering to know that something that I have felt has been like just a little bit off my whole life, like why isn't this easier for me or why can't I just do the thing?
• 22:57
  Erica: It's empowering to know that not only is it totally like normal, but it's so normal that there's a name for it, like enough people feel the same way, that there's a name for it and that's really the, the, that's our why behind creating community.
• 23:17
  Erica: It's like when you can sort of sit beside someone who is struggling the way you're struggling, and then like kind of walk together through that challenge it makes everything just a little bit easier.
• 23:27
  Cassandra: Yeah, yeah, and it's kind of like what I said when this podcast is.
• 23:31
  Cassandra: It enables individuals to get self awareness because, once you are aware, it is empowering, like, oh okay, there's a name to it and I'm okay.
• 23:41
  Erica: Well, I think I'm normal you know Right, right, and and again it's.
• 23:46
  Erica: It doesn't mean like it's not an excuse to like not do the things, but having the information to say like, okay, well, doing things this way just doesn't jive with how my brain is wired.
• 23:58
  Erica: I need to figure out a different way to do things.
• 24:01
  Erica: It's not, it's not better or worse.
• 24:04
  Erica: I just need a different solution.
• 24:06
  Erica: I need to get creative now, because that way wasn't working for me and that's where I felt so much of the stuckness.
• 24:13
  Erica: Even when I was starting my own business, I stalled out three or four times.
• 24:18
  Erica: I would go an entire month and not do anything because I was so paralyzed by like well, once I launched my website and it's out there, what are people going to think?
• 24:28
  Erica: Are they going to like me or they're not going to like me?
• 24:29
  Erica: Is it right?
• 24:31
  Erica: Is someone going to tell me that everything I wrote is wrong or terrible or bad Like?
• 24:35
  Erica: all the things just start, and so figuring out how to navigate stuff like that, and then also just having people to help hold you accountable or to like give you honest feedback, like building that community, is critical If that's, if this is a path you want to go down.
• 24:53
  Cassandra: Yes, yes, that that's good information, because I did the same thing with my book.
• 24:58
  Cassandra: Is your way, in your way, and it took me 12 years.
• 25:00
  Cassandra: I'm like I can't write this.
• 25:02
  Cassandra: I don't want anybody to know my business.
• 25:04
  Cassandra: Oh, I can't see.
• 25:05
  Cassandra: This isn't right.
• 25:06
  Cassandra: Who cares about what I went through?
• 25:08
  Cassandra: You know that.
• 25:09
  Cassandra: Back and forth, that back and forth, and then you get overwhelmed when you don't do it, like what is wrong with me?
• 25:15
  Cassandra: Why can't I just get this thing done?
• 25:17
  Cassandra: Yeah, so is that what?
• 25:19
  Cassandra: So that's your why it sounds like your.
• 25:21
  Cassandra: Why you're doing what you're doing is just for that community, right?
• 25:26
  Cassandra: Is that your why you're doing this work?
• 25:30
  Erica: Yeah, I think there's so many people you know again because of the way that the diagnostic criteria was originally written.
• 25:39
  Erica: There's a lot of people you know around my age and older who were just missed, and so what's been really interesting and kind of awesome about social media?
• 25:51
  Erica: There's a lot of things that I struggle with on social media, but what's so awesome about social media is when people start telling their stories and then you start seeing yourself in someone else's story.
• 26:00
  Erica: It unlocks a part of you and it allows you to get to know yourself better and see yourself differently.
• 26:08
  Erica: And then when you feel that sort of like natural support system or camaraderie, it gives you the courage to kind of walk through these really challenging moments in your life.
• 26:20
  Erica: Or even it gives you a community of people to celebrate with.
• 26:24
  Erica: When you do something awesome, right, like highs and lows, your people are there, but it's so helpful to know other people who are kind of walking through that with you.
• 26:37
  Erica: So what we've found in building this community is like a lot of people are in this phase of life where they're getting late diagnosed because they were missed or younger, and now we're all going through this journey of learning, like we learn new things every week, every month.
• 26:54
  Erica: We walk through all of these challenging things together.
• 26:57
  Erica: We do webinars on stuff people don't like to talk about.
• 27:01
  Erica: The phrase that we love to say is we like to put on our emotional scuba gear and dive right down into the depths.
• 27:09
  Erica: We are going all in on.
• 27:11
  Erica: Let's just talk about perfectionism.
• 27:14
  Erica: Why is it so hard?
• 27:15
  Erica: How can we try to let go of some of that perfectionism?
• 27:20
  Erica: Just be a bit more compassionate with ourselves.
• 27:23
  Erica: Exactly, give ourselves permission, right, exactly.
• 27:31
  Erica: Uh, last week, on shadow work and healing your inner child, because it's I mean, I think it's true for almost everyone, but especially for neurodivergent people where we were sort of told like you know, you're too much, your emotions are too much, like, sit still calm down, you know, blah, blah, blah.
• 27:52
  Erica: All these things we were told we have, all these like parts of our inner child that we need to heal.
• 27:56
  Erica: Now that we sort of have the language to explain what was happening all along, that was like like we just we weren't really like seen or validated in differences sort of told to to be quiet and be the same.
• 28:14
  Erica: You know, right, exactly, exactly.
• 28:17
  Cassandra: So this is a good way to transition to the Kula okay.
• 28:21
  Erica: Yes.
• 28:22
  Cassandra: Talk about the Kula K-U-L-A.
• 28:25
  Cassandra: It's a Kula community.
• 28:28
  Erica: Yes, Kula is actually a great word for community.
• 28:31
  Erica: So Kula is our online community and we intentionally wanted to build it on a platform that was away from a lot of the noise and clutter and ads of social media.
• 28:47
  Erica: So it operates like a social media platform.
• 28:50
  Erica: We have feeds and direct messages and those kinds of things.
• 28:56
  Erica: Like we can we host events and stuff inside of Kula?
• 28:59
  Erica: Yeah, but it is a closed, private community.
• 29:04
  Erica: It's free to join.
• 29:05
  Erica: We host free events every pretty much every week, but there's an events calendar for each month.
• 29:13
  Erica: And then we also are just starting to do some paid workshops as well that are a bit deeper dive.
• 29:20
  Erica: For example, this week we have a follow-up to the Inner Child Healing the Shadow Work Workshop where we're actually going to learn breath work and mindfulness and meditative practices to help along your journey of inner child healing, because sometimes that work causes a lot of dysregulation in our emotional bodies, and so equipping ourselves with the tools to be able to navigate that stuff is really important.
• 29:49
  Erica: So we have both you know a lot of free events to choose from and some more in-depth experiences like paid workshops, and we also have a team of coaches.
• 30:00
  Cassandra: Yeah, I know, I saw that.
• 30:03
  Cassandra: I saw that.
• 30:03
  Cassandra: So, and you actually started this, like you indicated, with the pandemic and just having your team just lets and I want my listeners to know, and also myself, you can't do this by yourself.
• 30:16
  Cassandra: You know, we try to think we can do it all.
• 30:18
  Cassandra: Or I'm going to start my business, but I'm not going to tell anybody, I'm just going.
• 30:23
  Cassandra: But you don't know everything.
• 30:25
  Cassandra: You know.
• 30:26
  Cassandra: Um, when they say, try to be a Jack of all trades and a master of none, you know.
• 30:32
  Cassandra: And how did you get a team when you're so young with your business?
• 30:37
  Cassandra: How did that happen?
• 30:39
  Erica: Well, um, so I, yeah, like you said, I started my coaching business in 2021 and I've had a lot of project work and a lot of coaching clients, like my business has been relatively sustainable, but there was definitely a big missing piece.
• 30:54
  Erica: So I did a coaching certification in 2023 and I met some of the most incredible people I've ever met in my life in that coaching certification and we were in a little study group trying to just kind of, you know, apply what we were learning and preparing for like our last, like big test.
• 31:17
  Erica: And I casually mentioned that I had always been interested in doing something that would be like kind of like mastermind or like group oriented, like I just find the collaboration and the um how everyone brings a unique perspective in a group to be the most interesting way to kind of work with other people, because you get so many unique perspectives.
• 31:42
  Erica: And so someone else in the group was like love that idea.
• 31:46
  Erica: I've always wanted to build community, so we just kind of dreamed this up about a year ago.
• 31:51
  Erica: We did our, we did our staff launch in February and then officially opened the doors to the community in March.
• 31:59
  Erica: So we are less than a year old as a Kula community and growing a little bit every month, which has been really exciting to see.
• 32:08
  Erica: But I think the most exciting thing is the way people show up in the community.
• 32:12
  Erica: Everyone who's there is truly I mean it truly is a space of like belonging.
• 32:20
  Erica: There is there is no judgment, there is curiosity, there is exploration.
• 32:25
  Erica: Everyone just kind of shows up willing to share really vulnerable parts of themselves.
• 32:32
  Erica: But in doing that, every single time I've seen it, I feel like I'm getting a little bit teary-eyed.
• 32:38
  Erica: Every single time I've seen it in one of our workshops or in one of our Kula circle meetings or coffee hangs.
• 32:45
  Erica: We, you know, we do all these different types of events for different people and personalities, but every time I've seen it, this person can kind of step out and share parts of themselves and just like immediately they are just surrounded with like support and encouragement and love and being able to just sort of share those moments and connect in like the most uncensored version of our humanity, like where we can actually drop all of our masks and just show up.
• 33:21
  Erica: And just show up is it's the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed.
• 33:29
  Erica: If I'm and I know that I'm probably a bit biased I'm definitely biased, but truly the people in this community have such good hearts and souls and just want to learn and grow together and and they show up for each other.
• 33:39
  Erica: It's, it's awesome, right.
• 33:42
  Cassandra: Yeah, it is.
• 33:42
  Cassandra: It sounds like it's like a support group, you know like AA you know grieving, it's just so many.
• 33:51
  Cassandra: So I like how you've taken that and put it in a different type of community, whereas you all can be open and you know it's not just alcoholics or drug addicts, I mean, it's just those neuro neurodivergent those .
• 34:07
  Erica: Yeah, right, and and truly.
• 34:10
  Erica: We say that like, whether you are neurodivergent, or you think you might be neurodivergent and you're kind of going on this explorative journey for yourself and you want to hear other people's stories, or you love someone who is neurodivergent and you just want to learn about them and how to understand them or communicate them, like Kula is the place for you.
• 34:30
  Erica: And, honestly, with those three things, whether you already are neurodivergent, you think you might be, or you love someone who is, that pretty much covers the entire population.
• 34:39
  Erica: Everybody knows somebody who's neurodivergent.
• 34:43
  Erica: I tell you, you're right.
• 34:44
  Erica: We really just want to build those bridges of understanding, because I think there's still a lot of times, even in the neurodivergent community, where it can still kind of feel like an us versus them, because some people are not open to learning and are not open to understanding.
• 35:02
  Erica: You know why things don't work the same for us or why we can't do things the same way, and so we are 100% on board with anyone coming into our community who is eager to learn, even if you are not neurodivergent yourself.
• 35:18
  Cassandra: I love that because it just happened, I think about three years ago maybe, where depression was not talked about and that to me, you know so, it was taboo.
• 35:32
  Cassandra: So individuals that dealt with that, it was very tough for them to get through it because they didn't want to tell anybody, you know.
• 35:40
  Cassandra: So it took Congress even got involved in it because they witness it, they experience it in their life.
• 35:49
  Cassandra: Some of them got killed, shot a parent.
• 35:52
  Cassandra: You know, of course, if we have a we know how gun violence is it's like, oh, they have a mental illness.
• 36:01
  Cassandra: They have a mental illness Like, okay, you know so it sounds like that, not that extensive, but it does, but it's a different, it's a different what I'm calling ministry.
• 36:14
  Cassandra: That, I think, is a great service to so many.
• 36:18
  Cassandra: Now, one of the things you said that you serve as a tour guide to a path of fulfillment.
• 36:24
  Cassandra: You know that's kind of like the topic that we have sustainability, building it, fulfilling life with values, creativity and community.
• 36:33
  Cassandra: What's the methodology that you use as a tour guide for the path to fulfillment for individuals?
• 36:40
  Erica: Yeah, I think that's really how I approach coaching.
• 36:44
  Erica: Okay, no-transcript, you're facing and give you different perspectives, but at the end of the day, in any coaching engagement it's up to the person being coached to still make the decisions and do things.
• 37:32
  Erica: But I think that the journey is so much easier when you can sort of when you invite someone in to help hold you accountable, when you welcome new perspectives, and then you can, then you can, then you can sort of move forward in the way that you feel is best for you.
• 37:48
  Erica: Um, you really shouldn't not that you shouldn't, but it's much more difficult if you try to walk that journey alone, because I mean, this is kind of like the crux of your work.
• 38:00
  Erica: Sometimes we just get in our own way, we get stuck in like our, our thought patterns or our limiting beliefs or things like that.
• 38:08
  Erica: And when you invite someone into that with you and you participate either in one-on-one coaching or group coaching or even just engage with community, then you're sort of shown a completely different path that you can walk different path that you can walk.
• 38:25
  Cassandra: Okay, erica, we just blacked out the internet, just like, and now we're back.
• 38:31
  Cassandra: We were both in darkness, now we're back.
• 38:33
  Cassandra: Yeah, you didn't even notice that.
• 38:35
  Cassandra: That's great, that's great.
• 38:46
  Cassandra: Hmm, interesting, wow.
• 38:46
  Cassandra: You know.
• 38:47
  Cassandra: There is a quote you talked about that I love, by Brene Brown, and you talked about.
• 38:48
  Cassandra: Belonging doesn't require you to change who you are.
• 38:50
  Cassandra: It requires you to be who you are.
• 38:54
  Cassandra: That, to me, is profound, yep.
• 38:59
  Erica: That is one of our favorites Because I think, especially for the neurodivergent community, there's this term, for those who aren't familiar called masking, and it is when you sort of have to neurodivergent community where we try to figure out who we need to be to fit in in this situation.
• 39:17
  Erica: That is obviously the antithesis of everything we stand for in Kula.
• 39:35
  Erica: We want people to show up exactly as they are and even if that means you show up and you're still discovering who you are like, we want you to walk that path and if you allow us into it, into that authenticity, I mean you will feel so much less alone.
• 39:55
  Erica: We will, you know.
• 39:58
  Erica: We want everyone who comes into our community to just feel seen exactly as they are and they are, and that truly takes so much courage, especially when you're used to having to mask.
• 40:13
  Erica: In all of these other places in your life I mean sometimes even with family and friends we feel like we have to be a certain person or act a certain way, and so if you're courageous enough to show up in that way inside our community, it will be a very welcoming and like fulfilling yeah, rewarding and all of that, because I'm certain many of them.
• 40:48
  Cassandra: You talked about helping leaders to reach their full potential.
• 40:50
  Cassandra: You know and it's difficult not to, when you are have distractions.
• 40:53
  Cassandra: You got those self-imposed.
• 40:55
  Cassandra: You know imposter syndrome.
• 40:58
  Cassandra: You know the perfection the people pleaser.
• 41:02
  Cassandra: When you have all of that going on, you it you just can't be yourself because you got this, these lens on.
• 41:08
  Cassandra: Yeah, that's great.
• 41:10
  Cassandra: I love that community, I love the idea of it.
• 41:13
  Cassandra: I think it's great.
• 41:14
  Cassandra: Um, I'd like for you to share something with my listeners who want to be an entrepreneur but have not started that step yet.
• 41:32
  Erica: I think this is where the sustainability piece comes in, and this is probably my biggest learning when I was building my own business right so, I had been a business coach, just to remind you, for almost 15 years.
• 41:40
  Erica: So as soon as I decided I was going to file my LLC and create my own business, I was like I know exactly what I need to do.
• 41:47
  Erica: This is going to be easy From a business strategy perspective.
• 41:52
  Erica: That was true, but all the other things that go along with being an entrepreneur your like, your resilience, your ability to kind of motivate yourself, your willingness to try things and fail and then keep iterating, like those those things are skills that you have to build that have very little to do with business strategy and everything to do with your humanity.
• 42:19
  Erica: At the same time, one of the biggest challenges for most entrepreneurs is just the the overwhelming weight of the fact that for most entrepreneurs is just the.
• 42:25
  Erica: The overwhelming weight of the fact that everything is your responsibility.
• 42:29
  Erica: Now, all of it, all of the things you have to figure out, the legal stuff and the.
• 42:34
  Erica: You have to balance your books and you have to do your social media and you have to send emails and you have to do the actual work that you're trying to do in your business, and so when I talk about sustainability, I think for me the number one, the one-two punch, is like establish your core values, what's most important to you.
• 42:55
  Erica: And the other exercise that I like to use with a lot of my clients is the wheel of life, which is I don't know if you've seen it before, but it's a wheel and it has you know different sections and you can.
• 43:02
  Erica: Seen it before, but it's a wheel and it has you know different sections and you can like relationships, career and yeah, I love that concept you establish what's most important to you area of your life, because then you have a very clear definition of what harmony is going to look like for you in your life.
• 43:22
  Erica: Because I don't as you said in the beginning, I sort of reject that like hustle culture, that like put your nose down and get quiet for 12 months and don't talk to anybody and just build your business Well, like what happens to all your relationships and what happens to your own mental health and your own wellbeing, like you can't you can't just put everything else on hold while you build a business, and so I like to sort of redefine with my clients what it looks like to build a business in a sustainable way, and when I say sustainable, it's like what is energetically sustainable for me?
• 43:55
  Erica: Am I?
• 43:56
  Erica: Am I also juggling kids, schedules and a relationship and friendships that are really important to me?
• 44:03
  Erica: Am I struggling with something in my physical health or mental health that I need to make sure I have time for?
• 44:09
  Erica: And so when I look at sustainability, I like to look at all of the areas of your life that are most important to you and how you're going to still be a whole and complete person while you build a livelihood that supports your life.
• 44:24
  Cassandra: Yes, Right, that's good, that's good.
• 44:26
  Cassandra: Yeah, okay, listeners, you heard that right, erica, how can my listeners get in touch with you?
• 44:37
  Erica: Ah well, on findyourkulacom, and Kula again is K-U-L-A, so findyourkulacom, there are links to join the community.
• 44:47
  Erica: Again, it's free to join our community.
• 44:49
  Erica: Step inside, talk to some people, join a webinar or join a.
• 44:55
  Erica: Join one of our more informal gatherings, like a coffee hang to just get to know some people and inside the community.
• 45:03
  Erica: You can send me a direct message.
• 45:05
  Erica: You can send anyone in the community a direct message or, if you're interested in coaching, you can visit findyourkulacom backslash.
• 45:13
  Erica: Erica and I have some resources available on my page as well as a contact page if you want to reach out to me directly.
• 45:20
  Cassandra: Okay, that's great.
• 45:22
  Cassandra: Wow, thanks, Erica, for this information.
• 45:25
  Cassandra: I thought it was invaluable.
• 45:26
  Cassandra: This is the first time that I've even heard of a support group of this nature, so I applaud you for that.
• 45:35
  Cassandra: I think that's wonderful, and listeners, as as Erica indicated before, you may be experiencing some neurodivergent.
• 45:45
  Cassandra: You may know somebody that is.
• 45:47
  Cassandra: Please, please, share this podcast with them.
• 45:52
  Cassandra: It's going to be on all podcast platforms.
• 45:55
  Cassandra: Erica even shared with you how you can locate her.
• 45:58
  Cassandra: Also, we talked about reaching your full potential.
• 46:03
  Cassandra: In the event that you'd like to know what your potential type is, go to my website, cassandra Crawley dot com, and take the quiz so that you can see what your potential type is as well.
• 46:15
  Cassandra: Again, erica, thank you so much.
• 46:18
  Cassandra: My listeners thanks for listening and, as you all know, I'm on every Wednesday live at one o'clock and if you're enjoying these podcasts, please subscribe.
• 46:31
  Cassandra: Again, erica, thank you so much and bye for now.
• 46:35
  Cassandra: Everyone, thank you.