Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / What do I do if someone pushes past my boundaries?
Transcript
- 0:00SPEAKER_00: What do I do if someone pushes past my boundaries?
- 0:04SPEAKER_00: Setting boundaries is a form of self-care that protects your mental and emotional health by teaching others how to treat you.
- 0:14SPEAKER_00: Healthy boundaries are about personal guidelines that when respected can lead to stronger, more balanced relationships.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: They set the emotional, physical and mental limits on what you are and are not willing to accept in a relationship.
- 0:32SPEAKER_00: When someone pushes past your boundaries, it can leave you feeling unsettled.
- 0:38SPEAKER_00: Recognize that your discomfort matters.
- 0:42SPEAKER_00: A boundary doesn't have to be reasonable enough for someone else to respect it.
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: If something feels intrusive, disrespectful, manipulative or overwhelming to you, take notice.
- 1:01SPEAKER_00: Respond clearly, calmly and be direct.
- 1:07SPEAKER_00: You don't always need to give a long explanation.
- 1:10SPEAKER_00: You could say something like that doesn't work for me or I'm leaving this conversation if this continues.
- 1:20SPEAKER_00: Repeating yourself without explaining can help especially with people who try to argue your boundary away.
- 1:30SPEAKER_00: Shift your focus from explaining to enforcing.
- 1:35SPEAKER_00: A boundary is not only what you say, it is what you do next if it is ignored.
- 1:42SPEAKER_00: For example, ending the call, leaving the room, changing how often you engage.
- 1:51SPEAKER_00: Pay attention to how the person reacts when you assert yourself.
- 1:57SPEAKER_00: Respectful people may not always agree, but they usually adjust.
- 2:04SPEAKER_00: Other people may give a different response.
- 2:07SPEAKER_00: These reactions can make you doubt yourself, but it doesn't mean your boundary is wrong.
- 2:14SPEAKER_00: Boundary violation can create the stress response, so it may help to ground yourself or journal about what happened, even speak to someone you trust.
- 2:29SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking of harming yourself or feel unsafe, please call your local emergency number or crisis line.