Latest / The Philip Ryan Deal Podcast / Quantum Witchcraft: Interview with Nana the Witch from Tiktok

Transcript

Quantum Witchcraft: Interview with Nana the Witch from Tiktok · The Philip Ryan Deal Podcast

• 0:04
  We're recording now. So the reason why we are here is
• 0:13
  because I got on TikTok and I saw you post a video saying
• 0:17
  you've been up since 2:00 AM and I commented in all capital
• 0:21
  letters, I never went to sleep. And then I messaged you on
• 0:24
  Facebook and you're still awake. And I said, well, let's do this
• 0:29
  interview. So just to set everybody up, I
• 0:33
  had this grand idea that I wanted to interview Nana and I
• 0:38
  decided I wanted to do it over Zoom.
• 0:42
  First time ever doing something on zoom like this and recording
• 0:46
  it. I don't even I know they they
• 0:48
  limit your time. I I cancelled Zoom, I used to do
• 0:52
  all my readings through Zoom because it was very user
• 0:55
  friendly usually. And it was fine because I only
• 1:01
  ever was one-on-one and at the time they were only charging for
• 1:04
  groups. If you went an hour okay, then
• 1:10
  they started saying no, we're now going to charge you.
• 1:15
  Should go and then most of my readings are an hour or more so
• 1:20
  I was paying them $15.00 a month so I switched to Google meets.
• 1:28
  Can you record stuff on Google? Really.
• 1:31
  Yeah, yeah, it's the same I've I pay for the premium service, I
• 1:38
  pay like whatever. The however much you pay to like
• 1:40
  be able to do that stuff on Zoom and it.
• 1:45
  I mean as of right now I'm still paying for it.
• 1:48
  So I'm I'm using it. I just I just got sick of paying
• 1:52
  for it. The only issue with Google meets
• 1:55
  is for some reason people with iPads don't connect very well.
• 2:01
  That's the only issue I've gotten with it and it's
• 2:04
  completely free. They don't charge me anything.
• 2:08
  Wow. Well, I'll have to look into
• 2:13
  that. I guess where to begin?
• 2:19
  I want to, I want to know more about you.
• 2:21
  That's, that's what it is. I like you and I want to learn
• 2:24
  more about you. This is like me just
• 2:26
  interviewing you because I want to learn more about you, because
• 2:30
  I find you to be an interesting person and I'm pretty sure
• 2:35
  you've got a great story. So I like people that have.
• 2:39
  I doubt that, to be perfectly honest.
• 2:43
  Tell me about, like, your family growing up.
• 2:46
  Tell me about, like, their religious environment that you
• 2:48
  were raised. In United Methodist Okay.
• 2:53
  What? What is that like?
• 2:54
  Because you know how I was raised.
• 2:56
  Yeah, I know. That was not far from being a
• 2:59
  witch. Yeah, yeah.
• 3:03
  United Methodists are really easygoing people.
• 3:07
  You know, they like to play cards, They like bourbon and
• 3:10
  Coke. They mind their own business.
• 3:14
  You know, I didn't. Yeah.
• 3:17
  I grew up, my grandmother raised me, and I grew up in a really
• 3:24
  small town in Kansas, OK? And I actually got married to
• 3:30
  Papa in the church that I grew up in.
• 3:38
  You know what? As I look back on things, I'm 56
• 3:45
  years old, and as I look back on things now, I see how fucked up
• 3:50
  my life was as a kid. Oh yeah.
• 3:54
  Oh yeah. My grandma had a really good
• 4:00
  talent of making my world normal.
• 4:07
  OK, you know I I my first. I'll call it paranormal for lack
• 4:16
  of a better word. My first paranormal experience
• 4:19
  was at three years old. I didn't realize that I wasn't
• 4:25
  normal until probably the 8th grade.
• 4:29
  Oh, wow. Because grandma.
• 4:34
  It didn't make me. I mean don't worry.
• 4:37
  It was a it was a lot of don't worry about it or just keep,
• 4:40
  just keep going forward. Don't, don't think about that
• 4:43
  right. You know, whenever I would bring
• 4:44
  things to her like, OK, so I'm, I don't know, I'm writing
• 4:51
  another book and I'm telling some stories over my childhood
• 4:56
  about seeing different. Things that are not normal.
• 5:00
  And one of the things that I saw was a creature dancing around a
• 5:09
  birdbath in my grandma's friend's yard.
• 5:14
  And my grandma saw it too, and she just looked down at me and
• 5:18
  says don't worry about it, come on, let's go back to the card
• 5:21
  game. And we just went on so it was
• 5:24
  not dramatic. It wasn't scary.
• 5:27
  It was. Now we're just going to go on.
• 5:31
  So I was very protected by her. You know, I came from parents
• 5:40
  that had no business having kids, so she protected me in
• 5:45
  that way. She protected me psychically.
• 5:48
  I think she tried to protect my mother as well.
• 5:51
  She told me many stories. My mother had the same abilities
• 5:56
  that I had. And I do think that that was her
• 6:00
  fighting. That played a lot into her
• 6:05
  dysfunction, into her, you know, her problems that she dealt with
• 6:12
  in her life. I think what my grandmother did
• 6:17
  for me made me more. Made it made me be easier on
• 6:27
  myself. A lot of people with abilities
• 6:33
  think they're crazy. The people around them treat
• 6:37
  them like they're crazy. Or we'll say and don't get me
• 6:41
  wrong, I had people like that in my life, but it was a whole lot
• 6:47
  of whatever We're not going to, we're not going to listen to
• 6:49
  them. We're not going to, you know.
• 6:53
  We're not, we're not going to, we're not going to hear that
• 6:55
  noise. It sounds like your grandmother
• 7:00
  played a very crucial role in your in your growing up and all
• 7:05
  of that. The whole role I.
• 7:09
  Would not have survived I would not have survived I I owe my
• 7:16
  complete existence on this earth to her.
• 7:21
  Because I would not have served up then.
• 7:24
  You and I have a a a very strong connection in that way because I
• 7:29
  feel the same way about my grandmother.
• 7:31
  I love my grandmother, and my grandmother was a St.
• 7:34
  She would take her shirt off and hand it to anybody.
• 7:38
  She was a generous person. She was the matriarch that held
• 7:42
  my family together as long as she was alive.
• 7:44
  And she died when I was 10. And when she died, it was like
• 7:49
  it was one of the most tragic affairs in my life.
• 7:54
  Because when she died, it felt like it felt like all the adults
• 8:00
  in the house were lost. It was like I was 10 and I knew
• 8:05
  that when she passed that it was like all these other people.
• 8:09
  My father, my mother, my aunt, my grandpa, they didn't know
• 8:12
  what to do. And I loved my grandmother.
• 8:16
  She was a wonderful person. And how, I mean, how long were
• 8:21
  you? Is your grandmother?
• 8:23
  Did she pass? She has been passed for quite a
• 8:26
  while. Let's see.
• 8:27
  Oh goodness, for quite a while. I can't even remember the year
• 8:30
  she passed. How how old are you about?
• 8:33
  Oh, I was grown with children. In fact, she she watched, she's,
• 8:37
  she saw all four of my children people.
• 8:44
  Well, that's good. Yeah, she died.
• 8:48
  I want to say something like 2003, 2004, something like that.
• 8:57
  So yeah, and I took care of her as as her caregiver as well
• 9:02
  towards the end. And I and I've never losing her.
• 9:15
  I've never had another person, you know what I mean?
• 9:22
  She's gone. So it's only just been me, me,
• 9:25
  and my brother, My brother. Does your brother have any of
• 9:32
  your abilities? My brother's a seer.
• 9:35
  He's actually a better seer than me.
• 9:39
  Wow. Yeah, yeah, so.
• 9:43
  It's just been me and him against the world forever and a
• 9:47
  day, so, OK, so your grandmother was instrumental in your life,
• 9:56
  especially when it comes to how you were able to cope with your
• 10:00
  spiritual gifts. You were raised a Methodist,
• 10:06
  pretty laid back. So how did you actually find or
• 10:12
  get on the path that you're on? Like when did you actually find
• 10:16
  direction or know or how to just tell me about your your your,
• 10:21
  your witching, witchling, blossoming.
• 10:25
  So you have to understand that I come from before the Internet.
• 10:32
  Yeah. And me too.
• 10:35
  Right, right. I know so.
• 10:40
  All growing up it was just a matter of once I got to where I
• 10:47
  was old enough to understand that I that everybody doesn't
• 10:50
  see the same stuff I do. OK.
• 10:54
  It was more well you know we just don't I just didn't talk
• 10:58
  about it just didn't talk about it shared with a close friends
• 11:03
  but you know pretty much closed up remain closed up.
• 11:09
  A little. I mean, my high school senior
• 11:12
  thesis was on Satanism, so I was, I was closed a little.
• 11:20
  No one knew I was practicing anything.
• 11:23
  And really, when it comes to traditional witchcraft, I
• 11:27
  probably didn't really Start learning about that and
• 11:31
  practicing that until maybe the 90s.
• 11:37
  Up until that, it was just psychic abilities and paranormal
• 11:41
  things and Paranor and seeing spirits and communing with the
• 11:45
  spirits. Somewhere like late 80s, early
• 11:53
  90s. From my 20s into my 30s, I moved
• 12:01
  to the city, OK? And then I got to meet different
• 12:05
  people. Okay.
• 12:08
  And then I started getting interesting, interested in
• 12:13
  witchcraft because up until then, I didn't know what to call
• 12:17
  myself because, you know, I come from the ear of what was that
• 12:20
  psychic that was oh, what was her name was on TV?
• 12:24
  You know. Yeah, See, I was just about to
• 12:28
  say that my earliest memories of psychics was seeing Dionne
• 12:32
  Warwick's commercials of, like, the Psychic Network.
• 12:35
  That's the earliest memory I have of that.
• 12:37
  That's all I knew. And I knew that that's not
• 12:41
  something I wanted to do, OK? So I wasn't going to associate.
• 12:46
  I wasn't going to do that. So then I That's when I started
• 12:51
  calling myself a witch. OK?
• 12:58
  I was introduced, the Wicca was really, really big in the 80s
• 13:04
  and late or early 90s and then really that was kind of all the
• 13:09
  info you could get for, you know, we didn't, I didn't have
• 13:14
  Internet and so, but again, I'm not obedient enough to be part
• 13:23
  of a religion. I'm just not.
• 13:25
  I I it didn't. You know, Christian religion
• 13:28
  that I'm just not obedient enough.
• 13:29
  I'm not, you know, it doesn't work for me.
• 13:33
  But I learned a lot. I appreciated it all the same.
• 13:36
  But I never joined. I never joined, and I just kind
• 13:41
  of did my own thing. And then in 2015, I started
• 13:49
  getting into my ITC research. And that is when I really
• 13:58
  started delving. I didn't know it at the time.
• 14:02
  I only know it now looking back. But that's when I started this
• 14:06
  path of energy and how energy works and how we're connected
• 14:16
  okay and how it's remains and at the time.
• 14:23
  I think the CIA, that was around the time the CIA had released
• 14:27
  all of its documents on how they did the remote viewing and how,
• 14:31
  you know, their research on the same subject.
• 14:36
  And then what? In 2020, like everybody else, I
• 14:41
  found TikTok. And at first I was like, Oh my
• 14:50
  God, this is horrible. Yeah, right.
• 14:53
  Okay, because I saw all these witches okay talking crap I've
• 15:01
  never even heard. I mean, it was, and they still
• 15:05
  to this day, and I didn't know quite how to handle it, but I
• 15:11
  just kind of been riding, riding the flow.
• 15:14
  And then, like I said, my my research has brought me to this.
• 15:20
  Path I'm on now, which is all about this energy that for some
• 15:28
  reason the powers that be don't want us connected to.
• 15:34
  Can I can I stop you for a second?
• 15:35
  Because you said you said I TC and I'm stupid.
• 15:39
  I don't know what that means. Could you could you define that
• 15:43
  so I? And you'll have to die, because
• 15:45
  I tend to ramble and I tend to jump so.
• 15:49
  Don't be afraid to stop me from talking.
• 15:54
  ITC is interdimensional Trans communication.
• 16:02
  Okay. Or.
• 16:04
  That's what it was in the 90s. Then they changed it, like in
• 16:08
  2015, to instrumental. Trans communication.
• 16:14
  But if you go to the world ITC website, which is the original,
• 16:18
  those are the first people doing in this research.
• 16:22
  At the time it was interdimensional.
• 16:24
  What it is, is connecting to the ether through instruments.
• 16:32
  When I began, it was the cassette tape, little tape
• 16:36
  recorder, you know, the and that's how we gained.
• 16:42
  EVP Evidence and Communication. Then in 2015 the computer
• 16:48
  programmers got involved and then there was just it just
• 16:53
  exploded with all kinds of computer software and ways to
• 16:59
  communicate in real time, of which I have a page on Facebook
• 17:04
  called Shroud Paranormal ITC. You can listen to my recordings.
• 17:11
  Of real time communication with spirit.
• 17:16
  Good. How and how is so?
• 17:19
  Is that like spirit box? Is it like the same concept of
• 17:22
  working with the spirit box? Yes, same concept, except for
• 17:27
  the spirit. Yeah, well, yeah, same concept.
• 17:30
  I don't like those spirit boxes. I don't like all everything that
• 17:39
  is out there. I don't think is the best thing
• 17:41
  to use. But spirit boxes that are not
• 17:45
  connected to any kind of radio waves, they so you you, you
• 17:52
  disconnect the antenna. It has no antenna, but it's
• 17:57
  still cycles through the stations.
• 18:00
  But you're only getting static because there's no antenna, so
• 18:03
  there's no way for a voice to come through.
• 18:07
  Other than through spirit, is that a spirit box?
• 18:11
  That's a spirit box. OK, See, because I don't, I
• 18:14
  don't fuck with those things. They make me feel totally
• 18:16
  freaked out. And and that's amazing because
• 18:19
  of the kind of stuff I work with.
• 18:21
  So yeah, but that's still creepy to me.
• 18:24
  OK, so what's the difference between that and and what you
• 18:27
  do? With what I did back in 2015?
• 18:32
  Yeah. Nothing.
• 18:34
  Oh, OK. I was just gaining research.
• 18:36
  Well, I did get involved with a in a group kind of started by
• 18:43
  this guy. This guy big and paranormal at
• 18:46
  the time in ITC it was Steve up. I don't know if you've ever
• 18:49
  heard of him. He's kind of a has been now he's
• 18:52
  not even around I don't think anymore, but he was, you know.
• 18:57
  Teaching people how to do this ITC work and help people cross
• 19:02
  over. And I got involved in that and I
• 19:05
  worked a lot with the Archangel Michael at the time.
• 19:12
  Yes. And and I worked with he worked
• 19:17
  through me. I was a pawn.
• 19:18
  I you know I should take no credit for any of them, but that
• 19:26
  work. Is no joke, and even someone of
• 19:32
  my experience had no idea of the ramifications such work would
• 19:40
  present, and I know he was. I know there were people with
• 19:46
  far less experience than me doing it and I got out of it and
• 19:51
  honestly haven't done it since. Why?
• 20:02
  When we were dealing with a group of spirits, This is my I
• 20:08
  really this is just my understanding to date.
• 20:13
  I don't want to claim that I have a clear understanding
• 20:15
  because I don't think I do. But in trying to make sense of
• 20:20
  it, what I think we were doing was communicating with a low
• 20:28
  vibrational class of spirit. These were these were people
• 20:35
  that they weren't going to assent, they weren't going to
• 20:39
  move on. They were, they were stuck
• 20:42
  somehow. And the problem with that is
• 20:47
  there were a ton of them. And once you turn that open sign
• 20:56
  on at your door, next thing you know, you don't have a minute's
• 21:05
  piece and I just got out of it. Closed the door completely,
• 21:17
  closed the door. Closed the door door so tightly
• 21:21
  that it was probably five years before I picked my psychic
• 21:28
  abilities back up. I stepped away from the whole
• 21:30
  thing, reading people, everything, anything.
• 21:37
  And I had to. Well, it was, you know, it was
• 21:40
  just kind of like having to relearn a skill.
• 21:46
  I mean, so it, Did it make you afraid?
• 21:49
  Did it like, unnerve? You like interacting with these.
• 21:53
  Entities very unequipped because I did not have the training I
• 22:02
  should have had to do that kind of work.
• 22:04
  OK, So what kind of training do you feel like you didn't have?
• 22:08
  I did not have the kind of training.
• 22:12
  Is it like, is is it like spiritualism?
• 22:15
  Because I mean, like what? Because I know there's people
• 22:17
  that I know. A I have a friend, she's my
• 22:20
  friend on Facebook and on TikTok.
• 22:22
  She's a paranormal investigator. She does all of this stuff with
• 22:25
  the the boxes and everything and goes to the places where there's
• 22:28
  spirits and stuff like that. Right.
• 22:30
  Right. I I know, but I.
• 22:32
  But that is something very different from your traditional
• 22:36
  mediumship, psychic channeling person.
• 22:41
  So if I were to do it, I probably would have no problem
• 22:47
  doing it. Now I'm not going to OKI didn't
• 22:53
  know how to. I didn't have control over my
• 22:58
  own energy. Here's the thing.
• 23:00
  When you are psychically interacting with other beings,
• 23:07
  alive or dead, makes no difference because their energy,
• 23:10
  it's all energy. My energy is connecting to their
• 23:14
  energy. If I don't have control of my
• 23:18
  energy to where, when I interact with you, your energy is coming
• 23:27
  to me and I let it go okay. If I don't have that skill to do
• 23:34
  that, you hear about people going, oh, I gave so many
• 23:38
  readings today, it just exhausts me.
• 23:41
  It used to exhaust me too, but not anymore.
• 23:46
  Okay. If you don't have people who are
• 23:52
  mediums, you know, these big psyche, these really good
• 23:55
  evidential mediums, they control their energy.
• 23:59
  They would not. They wouldn't be doing what
• 24:02
  they're doing if they couldn't because they just wouldn't be
• 24:04
  able to mentally do it. No, I mean, I totally, I totally
• 24:09
  get it. I mean, I consider myself, you
• 24:12
  know, just a small fry pee on nobody that does this kind of
• 24:15
  work. But I totally understand.
• 24:17
  And you talk a lot about in your lives about energy.
• 24:20
  You've been talking a lot more about it.
• 24:23
  It seems like you're it's almost like your message, it's part of
• 24:26
  your gospel. It's like the gospel of Nana,
• 24:28
  you know, the whole energy thing.
• 24:30
  So, so I guess. I'm trying to think about what
• 24:37
  you said that I had a question about.
• 24:38
  I'm interested about these entities, so I'm interested to
• 24:43
  talk about how you feel or your views about the invisibles, the
• 24:50
  others, the people that share our space.
• 24:53
  The non either nonhuman are dead people and all of that.
• 24:58
  Do you feel like you said that you were interacting with a
• 25:01
  group of spirits And I believe that spirits moving crews, I do
• 25:04
  believe that they move in groups.
• 25:06
  They do move in spirit groups. To me at least it's my
• 25:09
  understanding. You said they didn't want to
• 25:12
  elevate. How did you know that?
• 25:13
  Did they specifically say, oh we don't want to elevate like what
• 25:17
  would how did you come? How did you make that
• 25:19
  determination because they hadn't elevated?
• 25:22
  So is it because of what they said?
• 25:25
  Like with their behavior, it's because they were there.
• 25:29
  They they would not have even been there had they known how to
• 25:33
  elevate, as energy. As Okay, we have an innate our
• 25:40
  spirit, our energy. Whatever label you want to put
• 25:43
  on it, Okay has an innate desire to ascend.
• 25:52
  It's an it's an eternal desire. Your spirits work is to grow and
• 26:00
  ascend. It's literally as simple as
• 26:03
  that. If I come across energy that is
• 26:08
  stagnated and failed to ascend, there's a problem.
• 26:14
  So how would you translate that like in comparison to like
• 26:17
  working with? People.
• 26:18
  Is it like the same concept like when you meet somebody and
• 26:22
  they're stubborn or they they won't move or they won't change
• 26:24
  or they won't grow they won't evolve.
• 26:26
  This is literally my theory. I have to say that with and I
• 26:32
  and I base this theory on experience.
• 26:34
  OK, it was my opinion at the time and still and remains this
• 26:40
  way. This remains, in my opinion,
• 26:44
  what your you're OK. So you're very connected to your
• 26:48
  ego, OK? As we all know.
• 26:52
  OK how strong our egos are. Our ego, some can say, is
• 27:05
  equally as strong as our spirits.
• 27:09
  OK, when we fail to move, fail to ascend, that's a sure sign
• 27:19
  that the spirit and ego haven't separated like it should have.
• 27:23
  OK, when we end OK our earthly existence, our ego should slip
• 27:35
  away and our spirit should ascend.
• 27:38
  But it doesn't always happen, and that's what I think happens
• 27:44
  to these spirits that are stuck. Their ego won't slip away, it's
• 27:51
  too strong. I also theorize that this you
• 27:56
  will find this in humans that are alive, that are very
• 28:01
  disconnected from their spirituality, don't recognize
• 28:05
  anything spirituality. They're usually very cold
• 28:10
  people. They just have no depth.
• 28:13
  Okay, You know what? You know what I'm talking about.
• 28:15
  They have no depth. It is my theory that it's those
• 28:19
  types of people that sometimes end up like this because their
• 28:25
  egos are stronger than their spirit.
• 28:29
  Okay, so I'm trying to connect the language that you're using
• 28:34
  with the language that I connect because just in case anybody
• 28:38
  doesn't know what I do. I consider myself, and when I
• 28:42
  say consider myself, it's because I everything is so
• 28:45
  goddamn subjective. It's very subjective.
• 28:47
  We have such a subjective experience, right?
• 28:53
  But it being being embodied, being embodied and navigating
• 28:59
  through the space as an embodied person, breathing spirit and a
• 29:06
  body, I consider myself a spiritualist. 1st and then I
• 29:11
  consider myself a magical person after, because I don't practice
• 29:17
  a lot of magic and most of what I do is all spiritual stuff and
• 29:21
  working with the spiritual energies.
• 29:23
  And in the spiritualism or spiritualism that comes out of
• 29:28
  the Caribbean, there's a huge influence of French spiritism
• 29:33
  that made its way down into the Caribbean.
• 29:36
  By the books and the teachings of Alan Carday.
• 29:38
  And so the language that you're using about, you know, ascending
• 29:42
  and getting stuck like a really big thing for people that
• 29:46
  practice spiritualism. So the point of what I'm trying
• 29:53
  to say is, is that when you use the word ascend, define that.
• 29:59
  Like what is your definition of ascending?
• 30:01
  Like what? What does that mean?
• 30:05
  OK, so with my experience in what my guides have told me,
• 30:14
  what I learned in my ITC research in talking to spirits,
• 30:18
  because all the spirits that I spoke to weren't stuck.
• 30:22
  Some were ones that are able to go back and forth and are and
• 30:27
  are just fine doing whatever job they're doing.
• 30:32
  I do. I do absolutely believe that
• 30:36
  there is a place. Some people call it the Hall of
• 30:41
  Records. Some people call it the Akashic.
• 30:46
  Different names, Okay. I do, and I know this and you
• 30:51
  again world IT c.org. They even had groups of spirits
• 30:59
  working with them. That's why I know they work in
• 31:01
  groups, because there is audio evidence of groups of spirits
• 31:07
  working with earthly scientists to create devices that will link
• 31:14
  the ether to the earth, to the earth okay.
• 31:18
  So that's why I know that that that part at least is true.
• 31:26
  And I I think we're part of groups, Okay.
• 31:30
  And I think these groups are fluid.
• 31:33
  I think you can change groups, but when you ascend, you go back
• 31:38
  to your group, you regroup, you're always regrouping and
• 31:43
  always deciding what is it we want to create for ourselves as
• 31:53
  a spirit. And it's that question that
• 31:59
  leads us to our next life or our next purpose.
• 32:04
  Sometimes that's to come back to an Earth.
• 32:07
  Maybe it's to go to another planet, or maybe it's to stay
• 32:12
  here so we can help another spirit partner or family.
• 32:19
  I'll call it spirit family because it's really, no, you
• 32:21
  can't say brother or sister. There's no gender.
• 32:26
  So maybe next time I'm going to stay back and I'm going to
• 32:31
  assist them as their guide in their life lesson.
• 32:38
  So would that be a spirit guide? Is that what you would consider
• 32:40
  to be a spirit guide? Somebody.
• 32:43
  A spirit that has ascended but chooses to stick around for
• 32:46
  whatever reason or goes back to its soul group and continues to
• 32:49
  work for the evolution of people that are alive.
• 32:53
  And I think people label spirit guide.
• 32:56
  You can call it spirit guide, you can call ancestor, you can
• 32:59
  call, you call it whatever. I think it's all the same.
• 33:03
  I think when we talk about past lives, the reason we can connect
• 33:09
  to that is because we are recalling our past experiences
• 33:16
  with our spirit group. OK, these are lessons we came
• 33:21
  back to do. That's why you have past life
• 33:27
  memories. You do realize that the concepts
• 33:33
  you're talking about are the same concepts that have been
• 33:36
  preached about any five or thousands and thousands and
• 33:39
  thousands of years. They were preached about by
• 33:45
  cultures across the planet, and I don't know how many.
• 33:48
  Almost every time I get on this subject, that's exactly what I
• 33:51
  bring up. There is a reason.
• 33:55
  There is a reason, and that reason has to be because that's
• 34:00
  the freaking answer. Right.
• 34:03
  That's fucking simple, people. That's right.
• 34:06
  Intention, right? I mean, I know, right?
• 34:09
  I, I, I am a descendant. I'm come from ancient Germanic
• 34:14
  people on both sides. And so if I followed, I really
• 34:20
  don't follow any religion. So don't, don't, don't take.
• 34:23
  What I'm about to say is that I do, but Norse paganism is an
• 34:28
  interest of mine. Okay.
• 34:32
  If you were to come into one of my healing rituals, okay not
• 34:37
  knowing anything there are. And if you were to come in
• 34:44
  during a time where they were just playing the music and not
• 34:47
  speaking ancient Germanic or Protonorse, you would think I
• 34:51
  was doing something Native American.
• 34:54
  Right, right. Right.
• 34:55
  Right. There's a reason that they use
• 34:58
  fire. There's a reason that they use
• 35:00
  smoke. There's a reason that they use
• 35:02
  drum. There's a reason that they use
• 35:04
  chanting. Yeah, and that's cross cultural
• 35:09
  and it existed everywhere. Everywhere, Yeah.
• 35:14
  And it's because that's, those are the things.
• 35:18
  It's all about energy. It's all about vibration and
• 35:22
  frequency and it's those things that put you in that frequency
• 35:30
  or vibration and that facilitates your ability to
• 35:35
  connect to the quanta. And that would be, that would be
• 35:43
  ascending. That would be part of your
• 35:45
  attention. You can say that.
• 35:48
  You can call that. You can.
• 35:51
  You can say that as an earthly person.
• 35:56
  That would be once your spirit. I think it kind of the word
• 36:04
  ascension doesn't fit as well as here's the thing, I think we as
• 36:14
  spirits are very self self-serving.
• 36:26
  That's what I'm trying to we're very self-serving as spirit.
• 36:32
  Everything we do as spirit is to serve the self.
• 36:38
  Now it's not the same as me as an earthly being serving the
• 36:43
  self because then I have to bring in ego.
• 36:47
  Spirit doesn't have ego, but spirit constantly wants to
• 36:53
  learn, constantly wants to change, constantly wants to
• 36:59
  move. Okay energy doesn't like to be
• 37:02
  kept. What happens when we try to
• 37:05
  contain energy here on Earth? Oh, it bottles up and then it
• 37:09
  becomes explosive because it has to and needs a release one way
• 37:13
  or another. If it's not released, it creates
• 37:15
  toxic environment that just either implodes on itself or
• 37:18
  rages out in every direction. The spirit likes to move, so
• 37:22
  spirit is self-serving in the fact that it's constantly
• 37:25
  learning, it's constantly moving.
• 37:27
  So in a way you can call that ascending, but it's not the same
• 37:34
  go. Ahead.
• 37:36
  So we're hitting, we're hitting topics that just tie into just
• 37:43
  this is ancient, this is it. For anybody who's listening to
• 37:46
  this podcast or anybody who watches this video, that's that
• 37:50
  that is thinking, man, this is some crazy new age shit.
• 37:54
  It's it's it's really, really not.
• 37:56
  It's not. These concepts have been around
• 37:59
  for a very long time. Each culture has had a different
• 38:02
  language they were speaking in and a different way of
• 38:05
  expressing it, metaphorically, because we can only speak about
• 38:08
  these higher spiritual states of consciousness in metaphor,
• 38:13
  because it's impossible to talk about these things and being
• 38:16
  tangible because they're intangible.
• 38:18
  But as far as a person, we're just going to say a person.
• 38:23
  Like when you look at me, you say that's Ryan.
• 38:26
  And you say, or Phillip or whatever you want to choose to
• 38:30
  call me, hey bitch, you know, whenever you choose to come,
• 38:33
  when you see me, my personhood, you see this, what looks like a
• 38:37
  solid, singular entity. But do you think so?
• 38:43
  Do you believe that there are different parts of the person
• 38:46
  like I would say I would say that.
• 38:49
  When I die or when I pass on this physical body which is just
• 38:54
  constituents made of physical matter that gets thrown into it,
• 38:58
  it's a hole and and dirt is thrown over top of it that it
• 39:02
  literally just decomposes and goes back to the earth and it
• 39:05
  just recycles itself. The physical matter just is
• 39:08
  constantly recycling itself, even if it takes thousands or
• 39:10
  year or hundreds of thousands of years.
• 39:12
  It's recycling itself. The, the, the physical but.
• 39:17
  Do you believe that there is a separation of spirit and ego?
• 39:22
  So I would say there's a tripartite.
• 39:25
  Do you believe in the tripartite concept of the self?
• 39:29
  That there is spirit, there is ego and a physical body?
• 39:34
  I think the ego and the physical body go together.
• 39:37
  Oh, OK, So what you're saying, OK, this is good.
• 39:40
  So, so now we're talking about basic knee jerk reaction.
• 39:44
  We're talking about conditioning.
• 39:46
  We're talking about the biological drives that exist
• 39:50
  within the physical body being something separate from spirit.
• 39:53
  So what you're saying is when the physical body dies, the ego
• 39:57
  is supposed to die with the body, The spirit is supposed to
• 40:00
  ascend or move on. And spirit is all of that in
• 40:03
  those intangible qualities about yourself.
• 40:06
  But ego is very strong. Did you think it's.
• 40:11
  Do you think it's the ego that drives reincarnation?
• 40:15
  No, no, no, I think no, no, not at all.
• 40:19
  I think reincarnation is our explanation.
• 40:25
  Okay, for lack of a better word, that that's when we're coming
• 40:29
  back because we want to learn more.
• 40:31
  We were coming back for whatever reason.
• 40:35
  Okay, we're coming back for. Now do you think that that's
• 40:38
  that's kind of like a a choice that Spirit makes?
• 40:41
  Because there are some people that believe that you have no
• 40:44
  say in it. You know, once the spirit leaves
• 40:46
  the body, it gets caught up in this kind of cosmic a dishwasher
• 40:50
  and then just spit out on the other side of somewhere.
• 40:53
  Nope, You have all the say. All the choice to come back or
• 40:56
  not? That's interesting.
• 41:00
  Yeah, I think you do. I do believe that you do.
• 41:03
  Is that now? Is that based on your
• 41:05
  conversation between Spirit and also your research?
• 41:10
  It is. It is.
• 41:11
  It's based on, yeah, because I asked questions.
• 41:15
  That's why church. Never.
• 41:17
  That's why they didn't want to be the church.
• 41:21
  And I. And you know, I don't always get
• 41:23
  the answer. I don't always get a straight
• 41:25
  answer either, because I do feel like here's the thing, our
• 41:31
  lessons over here don't work unless we forget, OK, so when
• 41:38
  we're born and we take that first breath, and that's when to
• 41:42
  me, in my opinion, that is when you become alive as a human is.
• 41:48
  Absolutely, and we have the same viewpoint on that.
• 41:51
  First breath is when spirit enters the body and you forget.
• 41:57
  Now, not everybody forgets, and in fact you do remember a little
• 42:02
  bit up until you're two or three years old.
• 42:06
  But then you forget because you have to.
• 42:11
  You can't properly do the work or properly do the lesson.
• 42:16
  If you are remembering, there would be no point.
• 42:22
  Yeah. So.
• 42:23
  So in my tradition, they say that it's you, you swim through
• 42:27
  the river of forgetfulness to get to the other side when
• 42:30
  you're embodied. Yeah, it's a concept is that.
• 42:33
  And I just just for educational purposes, the concept in EFA
• 42:39
  which is my primary, my primary path, you know, and it's it's.
• 42:44
  It's it's a spirituality. It's a lifestyle.
• 42:46
  It can be a religion. But for me, it's more
• 42:48
  spirituality than anything else. The concept is before you
• 42:53
  Incarnate, you say to the other spirits in your court or the
• 42:57
  other people that walk with you in your spirit group, which we
• 43:00
  call Egg Bay. I want to Incarnate.
• 43:03
  And when I Incarnate, I want to have these experiences.
• 43:06
  I'm trying to understand this. I'm trying to get this
• 43:08
  accomplished. So we have a very strong sense
• 43:10
  of destiny. Destiny plays a very, very.
• 43:13
  Crucial role in the concept in in this, in the spirituality.
• 43:19
  So the idea is, is the spirit jumps off whatever Cliff to come
• 43:25
  down to the material body, swim through the river of
• 43:28
  forgetfulness at first breath this physical body or this
• 43:32
  vehicle. The spirit unites with the body.
• 43:34
  That is, that the first time the spirit and the body come
• 43:37
  together, you have already chosen your parents.
• 43:39
  You have already chosen your body.
• 43:41
  You come into this life, you forget who you were and it's
• 43:47
  like you start everything all over.
• 43:49
  It's like a blank slate. It's always a blank slate.
• 43:51
  And what we say in spiritualism also is that it's it's it's God.
• 43:56
  However, you want to define that God's loving way of allowing
• 44:00
  individuals to evolve and grow and ascend.
• 44:07
  Prove. Prove yourself.
• 44:08
  Prove what? What you're really made of.
• 44:10
  You know what? What you're trying to
• 44:12
  accomplish. There's no judgment in an
• 44:15
  afterlife. There's accountability in the
• 44:19
  afterlife. But the concept is that it's all
• 44:22
  you. You're making the choice to come
• 44:24
  here. How you actually move through
• 44:26
  space is up to you. And when you leave here, then
• 44:30
  you're going to go back. You're going to make an
• 44:31
  accounting for what you did. And then?
• 44:34
  You know, proceed from there, whatever the proceed from there
• 44:37
  means might be reincarnating and coming back to maybe do the same
• 44:41
  lesson again or to do something else.
• 44:45
  So here's one thing we have to remember and what when you're
• 44:49
  saying we have to be accountable, assuming you're
• 44:52
  talking, you know there are bad people, okay, really bad people.
• 44:57
  We need to not forget that if spirit, it comes down here.
• 45:05
  OK, let me back up. Let me, let me let me start
• 45:07
  over. The question might arise as to
• 45:13
  as a spirit, why would I come down here to be a serial killer?
• 45:22
  What would be the purpose? What would I be trying to learn
• 45:29
  as a spirit, coming down here to become a serial killer?
• 45:35
  And we have to always remember that sometimes we are not here
• 45:40
  for us. Sometimes people.
• 45:50
  Sometimes I'm going to say people, spirit will come and be
• 45:56
  in. They're not here for themselves.
• 45:58
  They're here or someone else. So if there are all these
• 46:06
  horrible things that happen in the world, okay, there's a
• 46:11
  reason. There is a reason they're
• 46:13
  happening. I don't like it when people go,
• 46:16
  well, you know, it's God's will that there's a reason and it
• 46:21
  drives me crazy. But the fact of the matter is,
• 46:23
  they're not completely wrong. Everyone that comes down is not
• 46:29
  always here for themselves. Sometimes they're here for
• 46:33
  someone else, OK, Just like children that pass away young,
• 46:43
  which thank God that never happened to me or any of my any
• 46:48
  of my children, is what I mean. But that spirit came for a short
• 46:54
  time, not for them. I've heard, yes, I've heard a
• 47:03
  very high. I've heard a very, I've heard a
• 47:05
  priest who is very well known and respected in the tradition
• 47:09
  say that. Why would a child come here just
• 47:12
  to live and die for a day? Or for a month.
• 47:15
  Or. Or be sick and die.
• 47:17
  And the answer is because the parents or somebody else had
• 47:22
  some kind of lesson to learn and that spirit accommodated by
• 47:27
  doing that. And sometimes these things are
• 47:29
  horrible. You know, like all the horrible
• 47:32
  things that we won't go into all the horrible things.
• 47:38
  But there's a there is a reason. There is a reason.
• 47:43
  So do you feel like the world is deterministic or do you feel
• 47:47
  like there's like it's 50% deterministic and 50% free will?
• 47:53
  Because I'm kind of like one of those halfandhalf people.
• 47:57
  So the concept is you have a destiny to achieve, but how you
• 48:01
  go about accomplishing that destiny is going to be up to
• 48:05
  you. It is my opinion that when we
• 48:08
  talk about free will, we're talking about the ego, OK?
• 48:14
  And we do have free will. And I think free will often
• 48:20
  prevents us from ascending to where we could be, OK, which is
• 48:25
  why I feel like it's part of our ego.
• 48:33
  I think I I tell you what, the more I get into quantum
• 48:41
  realities and the more I study this subject, which I will for
• 48:45
  the end until the end of my life because I will never learn
• 48:49
  everything, the more I am really believing into this timeline
• 48:55
  thing and the fact that we have several infinite amount of
• 49:01
  realities that exist at the same time and at any time we have the
• 49:08
  control. To switch our reality.
• 49:13
  I'm I'm laughing because I'm totally there with you.
• 49:17
  And I I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at this case dance.
• 49:22
  And there's a kind of, there's all this irony or this kind of
• 49:26
  Divine Comedy that's being played out, this divine drama.
• 49:29
  It's the same concept in Hinduism of we're all here to
• 49:33
  play our role and if we're all wearing this mask and it's all
• 49:36
  just. This thing, but that that just
• 49:38
  hits me. It just it hits a funny spot
• 49:41
  that just made me laugh well. It's like it's like, well, you
• 49:45
  can't really do anything but laugh.
• 49:49
  Well, hopefully you're laughing because you as well.
• 49:52
  Yeah, no, I mean, I did. I used to hear this crap that
• 49:56
  I'm spewing out of my mouth right now.
• 49:58
  I think, what the fuck? You know?
• 50:02
  But I'm telling you that the more I study it, the more it's
• 50:10
  being proven. Yeah, so that's what I want to
• 50:14
  get into with you. I want to talk about this whole
• 50:18
  the whole Quantum Realm and Quantum Magic and quel to member
• 50:22
  right? Subject, right.
• 50:24
  So you would say that talking about this stuff going quantum
• 50:27
  now we're we're moving beyond these these basic concepts and
• 50:30
  now we're trying to get more scientific about like the
• 50:33
  process, is that what it is? Well, that makes it sound so
• 50:39
  much harder than it is because to me, when the more I study the
• 50:44
  quantum, the simpler everything gets.
• 50:47
  OK, so I need you to. I need you to break that down
• 50:51
  for me as if I was like a kindergartener because I
• 50:55
  literally am science. Was never my thing.
• 50:58
  I love science. I watch YouTube videos about
• 51:01
  science. When I hear scientists talking
• 51:03
  because I don't listen to these, like famous scientists talk
• 51:06
  about this kind of stuff. I listen.
• 51:09
  Yet I can't comprehend. I listen, but it's almost like
• 51:14
  that that person could be speaking a foreign language
• 51:17
  happening with my book. I think people are reading it,
• 51:21
  but they're not comprehending it.
• 51:25
  And I really, I really drag it down.
• 51:29
  I don't know where to start. I'm going to have to assume that
• 51:34
  you've got a basic understanding of quantum theory.
• 51:40
  OK, I've got to, because I can't give you a lesson in quantum
• 51:44
  theory. I can, but I probably wouldn't
• 51:48
  do it very well. But it's something you need to
• 51:50
  study and understand before you're going to understand any
• 51:53
  of it. So let's say I understand
• 51:57
  quantum theory. So I'm going to I'm going to
• 51:59
  guess that you have a basic concept of quantum theory,
• 52:02
  quantum, the quantum field, the quantum C.
• 52:07
  The quantum is everything. Everything OK, All made of
• 52:14
  atoms, all made of particles. OK, our thoughts.
• 52:22
  Everything is energy. Everything is energy.
• 52:32
  Trying to think of a good example.
• 52:34
  Well, I mean like the whole concept, and tell me if I'm
• 52:36
  wrong, the concept is like everything is a wave until you
• 52:39
  examine it, then becomes a thing.
• 52:41
  It becomes, it breaks down to like a specific thing.
• 52:44
  But if you're not looking at it, it's just going to continue to
• 52:46
  do its thing and it's going to be a wave.
• 52:48
  When we're talking about waves, we're talking about observer
• 52:50
  effect that that's part of it. That's what you're talking
• 52:56
  about. Okay.
• 52:57
  Perfect. That gives me a stepping off
• 53:00
  place. I didn't know where to start.
• 53:04
  Perfect. You're talking about observer
• 53:06
  effect which is a perfect example of how we have the power
• 53:10
  to change things. Okay, they had A and I encourage
• 53:17
  everyone listening to to get on the Internet and and and look
• 53:21
  this up. They had a test that they had a
• 53:27
  board and it had slits in the board and they pushed atoms,
• 53:36
  particles through this, through the slits in this board.
• 53:40
  And the particles lined up with the slits as you would expect
• 53:50
  them to do so. But as they were observed by the
• 53:55
  scientists, the particles changed and condensed.
• 54:03
  As they were not observed, they went back to being normal.
• 54:09
  That's a perfect example, a proven thing.
• 54:12
  This isn't a theory. This is a scientific experiment
• 54:17
  that was done that proved me. Looking at something changes how
• 54:25
  that something is reacting now behaves.
• 54:29
  Now we experience this even more every day with each other.
• 54:41
  You seeing my video this morning immediately changed how you
• 54:46
  behaved because it caused you to message me and here we are.
• 54:54
  And so, and that's what that's what I mean when I say
• 54:58
  everything happens for a reason. Yes, everything happens in
• 55:02
  there, as everything happens for a reason in a cascading effect,
• 55:07
  yes, And what? You're talking about everything
• 55:09
  happening for a reason. That's where Spirit comes into
• 55:14
  play. Okay okay.
• 55:16
  The reason it's happening is because you're They want it to
• 55:20
  happen for you. The universe wants it to happen
• 55:23
  for you. Okay.
• 55:25
  Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend to know how spirit
• 55:30
  plays into all of this. Okay.
• 55:34
  I'm not going to. I may never learn that.
• 55:38
  I'm studying it. I'm researching it.
• 55:41
  I may never know until I'm back in spirit, Okay.
• 55:46
  But what I do know now at this point is quantum reality is
• 55:53
  real. It does exist.
• 55:59
  It's easier to control than we think.
• 56:03
  The biggest issue people have with not being able to control
• 56:08
  the quantum is their ego and their ego.
• 56:13
  We, we as humans, the ego, doesn't like to let things go.
• 56:19
  It likes to keep things. It's like a hoarder and it keeps
• 56:23
  things and it keeps things And it's not until you do start
• 56:28
  really learning how to detach and let things go that that
• 56:35
  quantum energy then fills that space.
• 56:37
  And then you start seeing and you start understanding.
• 56:40
  That's kind of where I am at. So do you.
• 56:45
  So does that mean that you have when you speak of the ego, you
• 56:49
  speak of it in the negative as that the ego is a negative
• 56:53
  thing? I see it as a neutral thing, but
• 56:55
  I see it as as the the problem or the stump, the the stump to
• 56:59
  get over in spirituality, right? I don't mean to speak.
• 57:02
  It's not a negative thing, OK? The ego is not a negative thing,
• 57:06
  but it is. Like you said, it's a it's a
• 57:09
  speed bump. It it prevents a lot,
• 57:12
  spiritually and people. So if someone was able to have
• 57:21
  somebody see this is when I say this.
• 57:24
  I laugh. Because when I think about
• 57:25
  myself, I'm like, you're never gonna get there, you
• 57:28
  motherfucker. You got the biggest ego on the
• 57:30
  face of the family. We probably will never get
• 57:32
  there. But I'm but when let's say that
• 57:35
  somebody had the ability to do that like.
• 57:40
  Let the ego go. Now you're talking about people
• 57:42
  who are become spiritual masters in their.
• 57:44
  Craft you're talking about, you're talking about Zen Masters
• 57:47
  and I never that's not going to happen.
• 57:51
  Yeah, I don't know. So that's had to happen.
• 57:54
  But that's there are people that exist and they are the Zen
• 57:58
  masters and that is true. And that is that they have they
• 58:05
  are the quantum and physical body with nearly no ego.
• 58:08
  I I with 0 ego. But so OK, So what does someone
• 58:14
  like with 0 Ego look like? How could you know that you're
• 58:17
  coming into contact with one of these quantum Zen masters?
• 58:22
  I've never been in contact with one, so I don't know.
• 58:25
  But I can only imagine that I would know if I came in contact
• 58:31
  with one, I would know immediately.
• 58:34
  I mean, you're a meditation teacher like me.
• 58:37
  You've studied Zen meditation. You know what?
• 58:40
  My God, I've studied this. I've studied this.
• 58:42
  I almost said this shit. I've studied this stuff for 20
• 58:45
  years. You would know, don't you?
• 58:47
  I mean. Well, I don't know.
• 58:51
  I don't know if you would know. I don't.
• 58:53
  I don't necessarily know if you would know because of the fact
• 58:56
  that we walk around with an ego and you absolutely have to have
• 58:59
  an ego or some kind of portion or a slice of ego to be able to
• 59:03
  operate in the world. I feel like if you didn't have
• 59:06
  that ego, you would literally be.
• 59:09
  Somebody who's sitting in a meditation posture and there's a
• 59:11
  physical body there, there's an energy that you can perceive,
• 59:14
  but there there's it's almost like a featureless blank to an
• 59:18
  outside observer because you that's so quantum you can't see
• 59:21
  it. And I think those are the guys
• 59:24
  that drink the pine tar and mummy themselves up till they
• 59:29
  die, those monks. Yeah, yeah.
• 59:35
  Those are the ones. Those are the ones.
• 59:38
  I I think the more you have to say about spirituality sometimes
• 59:42
  the farther you are away from I mean but there's but there's but
• 59:46
  there is a function like that's that's the problem.
• 59:49
  The problem is is that I can we can sit here and say yeah the
• 59:53
  ego is a speed bump to spirit being able to obtain the
• 59:57
  quantum. We have to have some level of
• 1:00:00
  ego to function in the world, or else we would be mashed potatoes
• 1:00:03
  on the floor. But then you're like, how do you
• 1:00:06
  balance that ego with spirit? And when you're thinking about
• 1:00:10
  someone who is highly spiritually advanced, you're
• 1:00:13
  thinking about someone who's is it?
• 1:00:15
  Is it making peace with yourself?
• 1:00:17
  It's like, is it about making peace with yourself and being OK
• 1:00:20
  with who you are and just being able to live with the condition
• 1:00:24
  of being a spirit embodied? And it's almost like, well, what
• 1:00:27
  do I do now? I gotta do this again today.
• 1:00:30
  I mean, I'm trying to. I try to wrap my mind around how
• 1:00:33
  somebody like that functions in the world.
• 1:00:36
  I think what you're saying is definitely a step, a step
• 1:00:38
  towards, but I think what you're failing to realize is once
• 1:00:43
  someone were to get to that level of ascension, OK, we'll
• 1:00:51
  call it that. There is no functioning in this
• 1:00:54
  world. There is a concept of the
• 1:00:57
  rainbow body that exists in Buddhism and that they say that
• 1:01:01
  it's very difficult to achieve. But people have seen it actually
• 1:01:04
  happen in which and it's usually this is a Buddhist thing, that a
• 1:01:09
  Buddhist monk will be sitting there and meditating in front of
• 1:01:12
  his students. They'd be meditating together.
• 1:01:14
  This person starts to rise up. Their physical body seems to
• 1:01:18
  detach from gravity altogether. So and as they're rising up and
• 1:01:23
  they're starting to lose gravity that literally they disappear
• 1:01:27
  like literally oof be gone and the only thing that's left is
• 1:01:31
  like a is like a haze or an energy that looks like some kind
• 1:01:34
  of rainbow. That's the rainbow body, that's
• 1:01:36
  what. That's.
• 1:01:37
  What? I say it all the time in my
• 1:01:41
  lives and when I'm talking to people, if you reach that level,
• 1:01:45
  then you're not even here anymore.
• 1:01:48
  OK, so, so it's not like, you know, you're ever going to be
• 1:01:53
  able to interview a Zen master because they're not here
• 1:01:55
  anymore, OK? They they move on.
• 1:01:58
  And so that's what I mean by that.
• 1:02:00
  And so, yeah, in my opinion, egos gone.
• 1:02:03
  Yeah. And in Daoism, they call them
• 1:02:05
  the immortals. They're the people that litter.
• 1:02:07
  And then there are people that literally can appear to appear,
• 1:02:10
  appear, or disappear at will. And they're not out in public
• 1:02:14
  and they're not walking the streets.
• 1:02:16
  They're in a cave on a mountain somewhere, yeah.
• 1:02:21
  Being one with, you know, whatever all.
• 1:02:25
  Things, yeah, so. So for us to put them in the
• 1:02:28
  context normalcy, that's why it doesn't make any sense.
• 1:02:35
  And here I am over here fighting with somebody on TikTok about
• 1:02:38
  whether or not you can put, you know, an oil into.
• 1:02:42
  I tell you, I know, I know. I I see things all the time.
• 1:02:47
  And I think so. Whenever Buddhists talk about
• 1:02:51
  that concept of illusion, that concept of Maya are getting
• 1:02:54
  caught up. I think that's what it is.
• 1:02:56
  It's like this being, being, being a person that exists in
• 1:03:00
  the I think this is like the realm of duality.
• 1:03:02
  Being a spirit embodied is really you got spirit, you got a
• 1:03:06
  body, and it comes together and now you've got this whole yin
• 1:03:08
  and Yang, male and female, positive and negative, whatever
• 1:03:13
  two charges it takes to be able to make the thing happen.
• 1:03:17
  And I think the nature of it is to pull you in, to get you
• 1:03:22
  involved, to draw you in. Like there's just a natural
• 1:03:25
  human desire to just be involved, to just to put your
• 1:03:32
  nose in everything, you know what I mean?
• 1:03:34
  Well, here's what I find. It's the whole having to be
• 1:03:37
  validated. Everyone's got to be validated.
• 1:03:44
  I think a big step on the spiritual path is not requiring
• 1:03:48
  validation. Being at peace with yourself.
• 1:03:50
  And that is what this study in the quantum.
• 1:03:55
  Brings to you, and that's kind of what I'm I am preaching it.
• 1:03:59
  I am kind of. It's called quantum occultism,
• 1:04:02
  in fact. And that's exactly where where I
• 1:04:10
  try to get people to go. So how how does that is so?
• 1:04:15
  Can you also apply that to like Chaos magic or people that
• 1:04:19
  practice chaos magic or quantum magic or quantum sorcery?
• 1:04:23
  Chaos Magic is when people fit in peace from all kinds of
• 1:04:29
  places and use it in their practice, and I don't think
• 1:04:34
  that's wrong. But here, there anything's wrong
• 1:04:36
  with that. As long as you're not
• 1:04:41
  disrespecting a particular culture, I don't think there's
• 1:04:44
  anything wrong with that. Because here, here's what I'm
• 1:04:47
  learning. All of these things, all these
• 1:04:53
  ingredients and all these tools and all these things serve a
• 1:04:58
  purpose. Okay, they're all energy.
• 1:05:01
  Okay, this Angelica has energetic properties, specific
• 1:05:08
  energetic properties. Okay, those specific energetic
• 1:05:14
  properties. Connect me.
• 1:05:16
  Now we're into string theory. Connect me.
• 1:05:21
  To a particular point in the quantum C, okay.
• 1:05:27
  So that's why you hear people like which foot and pre witch
• 1:05:33
  and all these in Uncle Burt talk about.
• 1:05:37
  It's in ingredients matter, ingredients matter.
• 1:05:42
  Okay. I can't.
• 1:05:44
  I'm not going to connect to the same point.
• 1:05:48
  With this Angelica that this cumin is going to connect me to
• 1:05:54
  okay. It's not going to do the same
• 1:05:55
  thing. Same with my, you know, incense
• 1:05:59
  or my candles or anything else. They're all tools that connect
• 1:06:05
  me energetically into the quanta okay, So can I just, can I ask
• 1:06:15
  so would that would that also apply to sigils, Spiritual
• 1:06:20
  symbols? Mantras, prayers, rape.
• 1:06:25
  All of that. All of it.
• 1:06:26
  All of it. All of it.
• 1:06:27
  All of it. So, and it matters.
• 1:06:32
  Okay, if you want to do a particular, you know, could I
• 1:06:36
  okay. Let me put it this way, could I?
• 1:06:39
  Shove a nail into a board using a rock?
• 1:06:42
  Probably. Would it be easier with a
• 1:06:45
  hammer? Yes, so that's so, so the people
• 1:06:50
  on TikTok and I, I'm going to start drawing in TikTok because
• 1:06:53
  that that matters because that's kind of like our primary
• 1:06:57
  playground right now for all of this fuck shit, which is how do
• 1:07:01
  you feel about these people that don't recognize the inherent
• 1:07:06
  properties of things like herbs and say it's all intention?
• 1:07:11
  I don't feel anything about it. Whatever.
• 1:07:14
  That's their problem. But what you're saying is that
• 1:07:17
  it's not all intention, that things matter.
• 1:07:20
  Yes. No it isn't.
• 1:07:22
  It isn't just ingredients. It isn't just tools.
• 1:07:26
  It isn't just intention. It's all love it.
• 1:07:31
  So I've been telling people that people forget that we move
• 1:07:36
  through space in the same way fish move through water.
• 1:07:39
  And that what you perceive as what you're in space as being
• 1:07:45
  nothing, that it's space is something.
• 1:07:49
  It is some, it's there's it's there's no such thing as
• 1:07:52
  nothing. As in absolutely nothing space
• 1:07:55
  is its own. So when you're talking about the
• 1:07:57
  quantum field, you're talking about literally what's in your
• 1:08:01
  what is in the field of vision, like what you have the ability
• 1:08:06
  to perceive, like what is the energy around you?
• 1:08:09
  However, you're right. But let's remember that for me,
• 1:08:15
  for instance, I have the ability to perceive way past what's in
• 1:08:19
  my physical, right? Well, So what we're talking
• 1:08:26
  about is the physical brain exists in one point because
• 1:08:31
  time, space, physical body, your physical body can't be in more
• 1:08:35
  places than one. But the concept in no.
• 1:08:38
  But yes it can, cuz then you're talking about superposition.
• 1:08:42
  You're saying the physical body can be in more than one places
• 1:08:45
  at the same time. You.
• 1:08:48
  Are existing on multiple timelines and places at once.
• 1:08:53
  OK, so why am I only conscious of talking to you right now on
• 1:08:58
  Zoom? Because this is the reality that
• 1:09:00
  you created when you watched my video this morning.
• 1:09:04
  OK, so basically everything you think, everything you say,
• 1:09:08
  everything you do and everything that comes into your field of
• 1:09:10
  awareness, meaning where you concentrate or where you like
• 1:09:14
  the collapsing of the the the wave or all of that that they
• 1:09:18
  said that, you know, the observer effect, that what
• 1:09:20
  you're observing is going to change how you perceive things.
• 1:09:24
  All of that stuff is what's creating reality right now.
• 1:09:29
  So if you wanted to change your reality, then the first thing
• 1:09:35
  you would have to do is change your attitude.
• 1:09:37
  I mean, like where where? Yeah, change your mind.
• 1:09:40
  You gotta change your energy. You have to.
• 1:09:41
  So okay, yeah. So you're saying like the
• 1:09:44
  ability to shift your reality starts with deciding that you
• 1:09:49
  want to change something? Right.
• 1:09:52
  And now as far as associating this and this is for which talk,
• 1:09:56
  as far as associating what you're talking about, that's why
• 1:10:00
  it's very important to be specific, because here's the
• 1:10:05
  thing, the quantum gives you exactly what you asked for and
• 1:10:09
  if you aren't specific. It gives you what it thinks you
• 1:10:14
  want. OK, that's.
• 1:10:18
  So it's kind of like it's kind of like Google.
• 1:10:20
  It's kind of like your algorithm.
• 1:10:22
  Yeah. So here's the other the other
• 1:10:24
  thing I've been telling you. You know what algorithm so much.
• 1:10:26
  You and I are more alike than not.
• 1:10:29
  Siri algorithm is actually a great explanation for the
• 1:10:34
  quantum to be perfectly honest, right?
• 1:10:37
  Well, I think it is is like, I feel like I have to say, I feel
• 1:10:48
  because we have to talk about feelings, because feelings,
• 1:10:52
  emotions play a role in all of this and which is that, which is
• 1:10:59
  kind of like for me, emotions are like spooky.
• 1:11:02
  It's like, well, where did the emotions really come from, You
• 1:11:05
  know what I'm saying? Emotions is one of the few
• 1:11:09
  parts. That our ego plays with our
• 1:11:14
  connection to the quanta. Because emotion is energy.
• 1:11:18
  Okay. If I'm really going to hit
• 1:11:23
  somebody hard with some kind of painful working, I want to be
• 1:11:28
  super, super pissed when I'm doing it.
• 1:11:32
  Okay. I'm not just going to do a
• 1:11:34
  painful working on a regular Monday when I'm feeling regular.
• 1:11:40
  You know, if I'm going to do a love spell, I need to be deeply
• 1:11:44
  in love for it to have any effect, right?
• 1:11:49
  So I've been and I've been telling people that in order for
• 1:11:53
  magic to be effective, you have to feel it.
• 1:11:56
  If you're not, I feel like if you're not emotionally, if
• 1:12:00
  you're not emotionally connected to what it is you're doing, then
• 1:12:07
  you're not going to feel the result that you want.
• 1:12:10
  And I hate to say it, but even like Buddhism, like, we can, we
• 1:12:13
  can, we can be philosophical, we can be very logical and
• 1:12:17
  reasonable but stuff. But when you think about it, why
• 1:12:20
  the hell would somebody sit on a cushion staring at a blank wall
• 1:12:24
  for 20 years unless they really, really, really, really wanted
• 1:12:28
  to, liked it, or felt emotionally connected to it?
• 1:12:30
  That's why I practice what I do and I don't practice Buddhism.
• 1:12:35
  My spiritual practice is highly emotionally charged.
• 1:12:39
  Very, very emotionally, to the point of you can really burn
• 1:12:42
  yourself out with the amount of energy raising you know that we
• 1:12:46
  do. Right, right.
• 1:12:48
  So for me, emotions play a very, very crucial role in and when
• 1:12:56
  you're practicing magic and witchcraft.
• 1:12:58
  So what we need to do is we need to, you know, stop and define
• 1:13:03
  that you and I are both magical practicing people.
• 1:13:08
  I would like to go into the more magical practicing element of
• 1:13:11
  this because there's a lot of people that might be saying okay
• 1:13:14
  Nana, okay Ryan, do you telling you're talking all this smack
• 1:13:20
  about the quantum field? And yes, I know that.
• 1:13:23
  Like my intentions and how I feel matters and where I focus
• 1:13:27
  my attention matters and emotions and all of that.
• 1:13:30
  How does this play out practically for someone who is
• 1:13:33
  practically practicing magic? Practical witchcraft, practical
• 1:13:37
  sorcery and ceremonial. That's your book.
• 1:13:40
  Tell us about. Tell us about.
• 1:13:43
  Because you all of that. Yeah.
• 1:13:45
  Tell us about, like, your books. Give us a, give us, give us a
• 1:13:49
  breakdown on your books. Because I want everybody to know
• 1:13:51
  that Nana has written multiple books and they're phenomenal.
• 1:13:55
  And I need you to like describe each one and tell me you know
• 1:13:58
  what it for, what purpose it served or why, why you decided
• 1:14:03
  to write it. The Compendium of Magical
• 1:14:06
  Ingredients was just a compendium, a compilation of the
• 1:14:12
  stacks of papers and written notes and.
• 1:14:17
  My own collection of stuff that I'm just sharing with the world.
• 1:14:20
  Okay, that's really all that is. The 2024 spell crafting in
• 1:14:27
  season is going to teach you how to write your own spells.
• 1:14:32
  Because when people contact me, you can ask anybody if you have
• 1:14:36
  contacted me about a spell. The first thing I'm going to say
• 1:14:40
  to you is why aren't you doing it yourself?
• 1:14:45
  Okay. I can do it for you, but it's
• 1:14:48
  going to have a lot more power if you do it yourself.
• 1:14:51
  It's your emotion. It's your connection to the
• 1:14:56
  quantum that's going to make that work.
• 1:14:57
  I can connect to the quantum and Direct Energy.
• 1:15:02
  It's going to be a lot stronger if you connect to the quantum.
• 1:15:05
  Okay. And then there's the quantum.
• 1:15:09
  And it also let me go back to that one.
• 1:15:11
  It also has. It's a grim wire as well.
• 1:15:15
  So not only it has the calendar, but pages and pages of journal
• 1:15:22
  pages for you to write your your spells and practice them.
• 1:15:26
  And it goes into the moon phases, retrogrades, all of that
• 1:15:32
  and how that affects your spell work.
• 1:15:35
  Days of the week, all of that. Okay.
• 1:15:40
  People aren't going to like that very much.
• 1:15:43
  People aren't going to like that very much.
• 1:15:46
  Well, I mean here's the thing. I feel like people that lived in
• 1:15:50
  other times and I mean like ancient peoples or even people
• 1:15:55
  even 200 years ago were much more deeply connected to magic
• 1:16:00
  because that they were more they understood in this concept of
• 1:16:05
  correspondences like in magic or high magic or even grim more
• 1:16:08
  magic and stuff like that. I've said it before, you know
• 1:16:11
  there are some spells that people say you can only do
• 1:16:14
  within one hour on a particular month in a particular year when
• 1:16:20
  you're catching some kind of celestial event.
• 1:16:23
  That's because grim more magic and also high magic is very,
• 1:16:26
  very astrological. Those are that's based on
• 1:16:28
  astrology. That goes back to Judaism.
• 1:16:33
  It goes back to Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Babylonian, Chaldean.
• 1:16:39
  All of this stuff is based on. All of those religions are
• 1:16:43
  celestial religions because they're all focused on celestial
• 1:16:48
  events, so. Here's the thing.
• 1:16:53
  And I talk about the book I'm most excited about, in case
• 1:16:57
  nobody can tell. Is The Quantum which book?
• 1:17:02
  This is the one I'm most excited about, and I go into that.
• 1:17:05
  Here's the thing about doing things that are, you know,
• 1:17:12
  rituals. We'll call them rituals that'll
• 1:17:15
  encompass all of that Okay. Rituals matter.
• 1:17:18
  Why do rituals matter? Because they create the correct
• 1:17:24
  frequency. To draw that string, that line
• 1:17:30
  into the quantum to get what you want.
• 1:17:33
  That's why we do rituals. That's why you can't just roll a
• 1:17:37
  candle in oil, roll it in some basil, put it over there, light
• 1:17:42
  it on fire and go have supper. Okay.
• 1:17:45
  So you are a proponent of creating ritual and ceremonial
• 1:17:51
  practice in harmony with casting spells.
• 1:17:54
  I feel the same way, yes. Because it creates energy, and
• 1:18:01
  without the energy you're not going to get anything.
• 1:18:06
  Oh, people aren't going to like that very much.
• 1:18:08
  Yeah, I'm really sorry I didn't write the rules.
• 1:18:14
  Yeah. Yeah, I mean, for all of the,
• 1:18:16
  for all of the people that don't want to play by the rules,
• 1:18:19
  they're not going to, they're not going to like that very
• 1:18:22
  much. They're that's the ones that are
• 1:18:24
  crying. My my spells never work.
• 1:18:27
  Or you know what? I'm here's the thing, another
• 1:18:31
  thing I want to bring up, and I hope it doesn't change the
• 1:18:36
  subject too much. But when I I get a lot of people
• 1:18:38
  that message me that they're having bad luck, Okay or things
• 1:18:45
  are just sucking. Their life just sucks.
• 1:18:51
  I immediately come back to. What are you doing that's going
• 1:18:56
  against your your path, your existence?
• 1:19:02
  Usually when we find that things are, you're just things are
• 1:19:09
  negative. Okay, we are creating that.
• 1:19:14
  Okay, we are creating that and we need to figure out.
• 1:19:21
  Where it is that we need to shift things.
• 1:19:26
  That's why our spell work isn't working, because you're not
• 1:19:36
  creating it. Does that make sense?
• 1:19:39
  That doesn't make sense. No, no, no, hold on a second
• 1:19:42
  because I think it's all about doing something half assed
• 1:19:51
  opposed to actually putting the concentration.
• 1:19:53
  I think it's, I think there's a combination of things that have
• 1:19:56
  to happen in order to do a successful ceremony and ritual,
• 1:20:00
  and I think one of them would be attention to detail.
• 1:20:05
  Concentration. Concentration has a lot to do
• 1:20:07
  with it because if you're not concentrating, there's no focal
• 1:20:10
  point. You can't focus your energy or
• 1:20:13
  intention like you have to. It's like concentration comes
• 1:20:16
  first. Concentration and attention to
• 1:20:18
  detail and proper crafting of a ceremony or ritual, regardless
• 1:20:23
  of what the hell you're trying to do, is the setup for being
• 1:20:27
  able to set the intention and to have the emotional reaction that
• 1:20:36
  is going to set that. I guess you could, say, throw a
• 1:20:39
  rock off a Cliff and it turns into a a boulder.
• 1:20:42
  You know by the time it gets to the bottom of the hill, right?
• 1:20:45
  Because from for me that's kind of like the concept.
• 1:20:50
  You know when you're casting a spell you're it's basically like
• 1:20:53
  you're a Pebble on the on on the side of a mountain.
• 1:20:58
  But by the time, the other thing is this shit doesn't.
• 1:21:02
  I think it takes sometimes it takes a while for it to catch
• 1:21:05
  steam. Like you can cast a spell, but
• 1:21:09
  there are some spells that you cast that you see immediate
• 1:21:11
  results, and there's some spells that will literally hit you
• 1:21:15
  could even hit you years later. Yes, divination works that way.
• 1:21:20
  And that's just part of that, I think.
• 1:21:25
  I think that is just part of the mystery that we may or may not
• 1:21:30
  ever understand when it comes to how the quantum works.
• 1:21:34
  Okay. Because even in divination, I
• 1:21:38
  can think of my own personal experience how decades,
• 1:21:41
  sometimes later. Something won't come about until
• 1:21:46
  then. You know, I had a I had a when I
• 1:21:49
  was in my 20s, I had a guy read my cards.
• 1:21:54
  He told me I was going to have four kids.
• 1:21:57
  And it was a good it was over a decade.
• 1:22:02
  And yeah, I had to have four kids, so.
• 1:22:07
  Yeah, yeah. I had a Vedic astrologer in my
• 1:22:11
  early 20s basically rip my life apart.
• 1:22:16
  And they told me that I was, you know, I would start living
• 1:22:19
  around the age of 40, that my life was going to change when I
• 1:22:22
  was 40, that my best years, my most productive years, I was
• 1:22:25
  going to get the most things done in my 40s.
• 1:22:29
  And here I am, 25, like, are you kidding me?
• 1:22:33
  I have to wait another 15 years before my life actually starts
• 1:22:36
  rolling. Then when I got my hand in E5
• 1:22:41
  and you know the orishas come down and they give you your
• 1:22:44
  destiny or tell you your destiny is 100% on point.
• 1:22:49
  It's like the indications that come with this particular sign
• 1:22:53
  mean a person is going to experience these things in life.
• 1:22:56
  And if you if they would have told me that when I was 20, I've
• 1:22:59
  been like, fuck you, I don't believe that.
• 1:23:01
  And I would have gone, but I would have still.
• 1:23:03
  And I think that it's almost good that I came to this later
• 1:23:08
  in life. Because I can say there's no
• 1:23:10
  fucking way possible that these four guys that know absolutely
• 1:23:14
  nothing about me can do this divination and say your life has
• 1:23:19
  been like this, your life has gone this, this way because it's
• 1:23:25
  pretty amazing. Divination can be amazing.
• 1:23:28
  It doesn't matter if it's a tarot card or some other kind of
• 1:23:32
  system of divination. Some of them are more complex
• 1:23:35
  than others. I I find the more complex the
• 1:23:38
  system of divination, the more details that you're going to
• 1:23:42
  pull out of the situation. It's like it's like a pack of
• 1:23:47
  tarot cards. It's going to give you different
• 1:23:48
  information than just a pack of Oracle cards.
• 1:23:51
  Not that Oracle cards are bad, but you're looking at Oracle
• 1:23:54
  cards tend to be vague and broad, opposed to tarot cards
• 1:23:59
  that have very specific meanings.
• 1:24:01
  Here's the thing about that kind of thing.
• 1:24:04
  It can be a regular deck of cards, A bicycle deck, right?
• 1:24:10
  If your tools are calibrated to you.
• 1:24:14
  Then they're going to work for you.
• 1:24:17
  OK, doesn't matter what it is. I can use this vape pen and put
• 1:24:21
  it and do a spinning thing. Make it spin.
• 1:24:24
  If I've got it calibrated to be a magical tool for me for
• 1:24:28
  divination, then it's going to work for me.
• 1:24:33
  So my question for you is what in your opinion what it what
• 1:24:42
  should people be doing? Like literally what what what,
• 1:24:46
  where do you go with someone is listening to us and podcast or
• 1:24:50
  someone has is watching this video on YouTube and they're
• 1:24:53
  like wow, this shit's blowing my mind.
• 1:24:56
  Maybe somebody's never heard about this before.
• 1:24:58
  They never thought about it to this level or depth, or I guess
• 1:25:01
  you could say the implications of it all.
• 1:25:04
  What do you think people should be doing?
• 1:25:07
  What is the practice people should be doing in order to
• 1:25:10
  harmonize themselves or change their energy?
• 1:25:13
  Vibration. Whatever you want to call it.
• 1:25:16
  Firstly, you would need to understand that it is not
• 1:25:20
  something that it's going to happen overnight, in a week, in
• 1:25:24
  a month, OK, it's something you're going to practice at,
• 1:25:29
  probably till the day you're. Ascend and your body goes in the
• 1:25:33
  grip. OK, understand that firstly.
• 1:25:37
  Secondly, it's not so much of what you gain, but what are you
• 1:25:42
  getting rid of? You need to learn to get rid of
• 1:25:51
  things before you start being able to gain things, OK?
• 1:26:01
  Again, and I said this earlier, the ego doesn't like to let go
• 1:26:04
  of shit. Ever.
• 1:26:09
  It's a very hard thing. Once you do it though, and you
• 1:26:15
  start practicing it, it does get easier and easier and easier,
• 1:26:19
  just like anything else you would practice.
• 1:26:23
  But you've got to get rid of things like.
• 1:26:32
  And I and you're I'm going to be just repeating crap you've
• 1:26:35
  always heard. And that's the thing.
• 1:26:37
  That's the that's the infuriating thing about this
• 1:26:40
  practice, is that this is crap I've heard.
• 1:26:44
  But it's fucking true. You've got to get rid of what
• 1:26:51
  other people have bestowed on you.
• 1:26:54
  When when people make appointments with me for
• 1:26:57
  counseling or whatever. And we talked about Okay.
• 1:27:02
  We're going to start, we're going to start doing shadow
• 1:27:05
  work, for lack of a better word. Say I've got an issue.
• 1:27:10
  Okay, I've got an issue. I I've got to start asking
• 1:27:14
  myself questions. As you ask yourself questions,
• 1:27:18
  you will eventually get to the question and there will be no
• 1:27:21
  more questions. So you've got it down to one
• 1:27:24
  question. Now, if the answer to that
• 1:27:27
  question is something you did or something you said, you're going
• 1:27:35
  to have to meditate on that, Put that in its place and deal with
• 1:27:40
  that. If it is something someone else
• 1:27:42
  did or someone else said, you have no business keeping that.
• 1:27:50
  That is junk that ain't yours. Even when somebody has done
• 1:27:55
  something bad to you, I mean someone has assaulted you.
• 1:27:59
  Exactly. Especially then, Okay, you've
• 1:28:06
  got to get rid of things that do not belong to you.
• 1:28:14
  You have no business holding other people's shit.
• 1:28:18
  None. Not.
• 1:28:21
  So. Anybody who's wanting to begin
• 1:28:24
  the path that I'm on, you've got to start there.
• 1:28:29
  You've got to start there. Why am I?
• 1:28:31
  You know why. Why do I have such negative self
• 1:28:33
  talk? Well, you need to ask yourself
• 1:28:36
  questions. Write them on paper if you need
• 1:28:38
  to. Why don't?
• 1:28:39
  Why am I always thinking I'm fat?
• 1:28:41
  Well, because usually when it when you start dealing with
• 1:28:44
  things like self talk, somebody else put that in your head.
• 1:28:50
  You didn't do it. OK, now if you're dealing with
• 1:28:54
  trauma someone else put that made you feel that way, OK, you
• 1:29:02
  know people, military men who have PTSD, you know, and 4th of
• 1:29:07
  July, they can't take it. Something else?
• 1:29:12
  Cause that for them, okay. Now when it comes to trauma,
• 1:29:16
  some trauma can really go deep. Okay.
• 1:29:19
  And it takes psychological help, which is another thing I always
• 1:29:23
  tell people don't be a therapist or great people.
• 1:29:28
  Oh, I'm a total proponent for getting therapy.
• 1:29:30
  Get therapy. Get therapy for that.
• 1:29:33
  You don't need to be practicing magic.
• 1:29:35
  You need to be sitting talking to a therapist about how you
• 1:29:37
  feel about yourself. They are wonderful tools when it
• 1:29:40
  comes to this kind of work, but it's not until you learn how to
• 1:29:45
  do that do you really start moving up.
• 1:29:49
  Because right now, everyone, everyone is so defensive.
• 1:29:57
  They're defending themselves. They require validation.
• 1:30:02
  You know, I even I'm, I still struggle with it and I probably
• 1:30:06
  will struggle with it for a while, but I'm getting better.
• 1:30:10
  Okay. There's always going to be
• 1:30:16
  someone to come against you, okay, and if you allow that
• 1:30:24
  energy. To change what is happening then
• 1:30:30
  you are not creating the reality you want, you're creating the
• 1:30:36
  reality they. It's that simple.
• 1:30:46
  That's why when talked on live before and I talk about blocking
• 1:30:49
  people immediately, not even saying anything.
• 1:30:52
  Block. Don't even say anything.
• 1:30:54
  And block on all platforms, not just TikTok.
• 1:30:58
  If you're friends with them elsewhere, Block everywhere.
• 1:31:02
  I don't block forever. Okay once I gain control, You
• 1:31:09
  know I want to. I want to figure out Game #1.
• 1:31:10
  Why did that trigger me? Why did what?
• 1:31:13
  Okay. I'll just use you, Ryan, because
• 1:31:15
  you're. So bad.
• 1:31:16
  Why? Why did what Ryan just say on
• 1:31:19
  his video? You know, that's it.
• 1:31:22
  Why did what Ryan just say in his video that wasn't even
• 1:31:26
  directed at me? I just watched it.
• 1:31:28
  Why is that triggering me? That's.
• 1:31:32
  The question So I might block you everywhere to detach away
• 1:31:38
  from whatever that energy is and then I'll go back later and be
• 1:31:44
  like OKI understand. I understand that's controlling
• 1:31:48
  your energy. Now if I were to just.
• 1:31:50
  Clap right back with some kind of video I'm not doing.
• 1:31:55
  I'm. I'm letting you create my
• 1:31:57
  reality. So that that's why I do that.
• 1:32:02
  I mean, I've, I've blocked you before.
• 1:32:04
  I've blocked all kinds of people.
• 1:32:07
  They have no idea. Half the time of that I've
• 1:32:09
  blocked them, you know. Yeah, because I am wanting to
• 1:32:13
  find out. Why is that?
• 1:32:16
  Why is this triggering me? Yeah, see, I.
• 1:32:19
  So The thing is, is that I after my grand cancellation moment and
• 1:32:23
  all of the fuck shit people coming for me and I got into
• 1:32:26
  that. See, I fell into that trap so,
• 1:32:29
  so deeply, so, so bad. It was like Alice falling
• 1:32:31
  through the through, you know, through the looking glass is
• 1:32:34
  like, I asked myself after all of that was done, like weeks
• 1:32:40
  after that was done, I asked myself, why did I ever allow
• 1:32:47
  anyone to make me feel any kind of way about me?
• 1:32:52
  Why did I allow those people to trigger me so bad?
• 1:32:55
  Well, because basically what I did was I allowed myself to
• 1:32:59
  allow other people shape the narrative about myself and to
• 1:33:03
  basically drive me to the reality from which they wanted.
• 1:33:08
  Because. You also I think.
• 1:33:12
  As we all do, I think this is everybody, not just you.
• 1:33:15
  It's that whole validation thing and defending yourself, trying
• 1:33:20
  to defend yourself. And what?
• 1:33:22
  And you've got to not need to do that.
• 1:33:26
  You've got to not. I don't need to if you don't
• 1:33:29
  like what I'm saying. Peace be with you.
• 1:33:34
  I'm not here to change your mind, I'm here to live by
• 1:33:37
  example and if you are interested in what I'm doing and
• 1:33:40
  what my path is. You are welcome if you are not
• 1:33:46
  on your. You know, yeah, 100%.
• 1:33:52
  So basically the other thing is having to break down and
• 1:33:58
  recognize my own triggers has been such an incredible.
• 1:34:03
  Empowering thing, isn't it empowering?
• 1:34:06
  But like emotional liberate, it's there's an emotional
• 1:34:11
  liberation that comes from really sitting down and
• 1:34:14
  examining why. Why am I feeling and acting and
• 1:34:20
  behaving and reacting in this kind of way?
• 1:34:22
  Why am I behaving? Yeah, you have to ask yourself
• 1:34:26
  questions and I think that that just requires like just a little
• 1:34:31
  bit of reflection just a a minor amount.
• 1:34:35
  It's it's not huge like when this, I guess that's a form of
• 1:34:38
  shadow work. I guess it's a form of shadow
• 1:34:41
  work. I don't even know.
• 1:34:42
  I, you know, I don't even understand shadow work.
• 1:34:45
  I don't understand the concept of it.
• 1:34:47
  And I think it's an overused term.
• 1:34:49
  However, it's also a very simple term, and in reality it does
• 1:34:54
  encompass what it all means. It really does, because you're
• 1:34:58
  looking at. Your shadow self you're looking
• 1:35:01
  at. Your triggers, you're looking at
• 1:35:03
  the things that you don't want other people to see.
• 1:35:08
  So you're looking at that negative aspect of your the
• 1:35:11
  negative aspects of your personality that you either try
• 1:35:14
  to hide or bury or don't want to come to terms with or can't be
• 1:35:18
  at peace with or get triggered by that, that create these
• 1:35:22
  negative results. Yeah, yeah, very interesting.
• 1:35:37
  All kinds of interesting stuff. I mean, there's nothing else to
• 1:35:40
  say really. I mean, when you think of when
• 1:35:44
  you, I mean when I think about it.
• 1:35:45
  I mean, it's like, there's no other way to talk about it.
• 1:35:48
  It sounds like it sounds complicated, and then it sounds
• 1:35:52
  easy, but then you think about it and then you're like, no,
• 1:35:55
  that's not easy. Actually, that's really
• 1:35:57
  complicated. And then there's this constant
• 1:36:00
  tug of war between, well, how am I supposed to get this spiritual
• 1:36:03
  work? We say spiritual work.
• 1:36:05
  How am I supposed to get the work done?
• 1:36:07
  I think people, when they say it's complicated, what they're
• 1:36:14
  really saying is that sounds like a lot of hard work.
• 1:36:20
  I I think when I say that sounds like hard work and it sounds
• 1:36:24
  complicated. I'm getting overwhelmed because
• 1:36:26
  I realize I've got 43 fucking years worth of it to sift
• 1:36:32
  through. Like as an example, I had to do
• 1:36:34
  all of this stuff. And so when you were talking
• 1:36:39
  about something that you've done reflecting on it or somebody,
• 1:36:44
  something somebody else has done to you, when I go back and I go
• 1:36:48
  back sequentially from, let's say, 1 traumatic or one negative
• 1:36:52
  event after another that happened, let's say I'm going in
• 1:36:56
  reverse going backwards. Why did I do that?
• 1:36:59
  Why did I do that? Why did I do that?
• 1:37:01
  Why did? Well, the first thing is I was
• 1:37:02
  an alcoholic for 30 years. So let's just say alcoholism
• 1:37:06
  changes everything. Okay.
• 1:37:07
  If you're addicted to drugs and alcohol, that's a very different
• 1:37:10
  story. You don't, you don't even have
• 1:37:11
  the ability to reflect on anything as long as you're
• 1:37:15
  actively in addiction and using that as a crutch to be able to
• 1:37:19
  get through. And I got sober in 2016, but I
• 1:37:22
  didn't have my meltdown breakthrough until 2018.
• 1:37:26
  There was a two year delay between me take getting alcohol
• 1:37:30
  out of my system and then having some kind of awakening that
• 1:37:33
  almost killed me, right? So we're talking about there's
• 1:37:36
  there was a time frame in which my brain literally had to catch
• 1:37:39
  up. So, so, but then when I go
• 1:37:42
  backwards, I I I have to say, well, alcoholism mask and
• 1:37:47
  covered a lot of things. But then this happened, this
• 1:37:49
  happened, this happened. And when I go back at all stamps
• 1:37:51
  for my childhood, all stamps for my childhood, when I go back far
• 1:37:55
  enough, my issues really start in my childhood.
• 1:37:58
  A lot of stuff was done to me in my childhood.
• 1:38:02
  So I just get angry as hell at my parents.
• 1:38:06
  Like, because, you know, your mom and your dad are the people
• 1:38:09
  who are supposed to protect you. They're the people that are
• 1:38:11
  supposed to support you, provide for you, teach you healthy
• 1:38:14
  boundaries, educate you, you know, give you the opportunity
• 1:38:18
  to grow, flourish, interact with other people, learn how to learn
• 1:38:22
  how to grow. And I swear to Jesus that, you
• 1:38:26
  know, my parents didn't do any of that on me.
• 1:38:30
  They did nothing. And I then I asked myself, well,
• 1:38:33
  what was it about me as a kid that caused them to behave that
• 1:38:36
  way? I don't have a good answer, but
• 1:38:40
  when it comes down to it, like I had to, I had to.
• 1:38:43
  Literally, what I had to do was, I had to say, are you going to
• 1:38:45
  let it go or are you not? Because it's impossible.
• 1:38:49
  It's impossible for you to be able to move on to that next
• 1:38:54
  step of spiritual development and still drag this thing.
• 1:38:58
  Like at some point in time you got to let it go.
• 1:39:01
  It's like traumas and people might not understand this, but
• 1:39:04
  sometimes you just have to let that shit go.
• 1:39:09
  You can you could sit in therapy for 20 years talking about your
• 1:39:12
  abuse, or about your traumas, or about all your stuff.
• 1:39:15
  But really, at the end of the day, like, how long do you have
• 1:39:18
  to talk about it before you're able to accept, be at peace with
• 1:39:21
  it, walk away from it, leave it alone.
• 1:39:23
  There are times where you're not going to get an answer.
• 1:39:25
  You're never going to get it. You just got to let it go.
• 1:39:28
  But I do believe, and I don't know if you've heard me talk
• 1:39:32
  about 5D and how I never understood it until now.
• 1:39:36
  Part of that looking into yourself, okay, let me back up,
• 1:39:43
  let me start over. What you're going to find as you
• 1:39:48
  learn about yourself is you're going to learn about other
• 1:39:51
  people as well when we start explaining.
• 1:39:57
  When this all starts making sense to us and our self, when
• 1:40:04
  you project back out, you start seeing people differently.
• 1:40:10
  You start seeing when their their actions, it all changes.
• 1:40:17
  Now, I'm not saying it makes it right or wrong.
• 1:40:21
  I'm not saying that. But.
• 1:40:26
  As I because I started this, well, shadow work in my 30s.
• 1:40:29
  OK, so I've been. I've been doing it for a long
• 1:40:31
  time. It took me a long time to get
• 1:40:34
  where I am today, and as I understood where this was coming
• 1:40:44
  from, it made me be able to see my mother, for instance,
• 1:40:50
  differently. OK, it made me understand.
• 1:40:56
  Where she was coming from, It didn't change anything.
• 1:41:01
  Okay. But it does change the way you
• 1:41:05
  see it. I still detached.
• 1:41:10
  I disassociate. I haven't spoke to her in years.
• 1:41:14
  I honestly don't even know if she's alive, but I understand
• 1:41:20
  it. It didn't change that I wanted
• 1:41:23
  to detach. I didn't.
• 1:41:24
  It didn't change the toxicity. It didn't change anything.
• 1:41:28
  But it does change how you see it.
• 1:41:30
  And I think that change there, when I'm looking at it now,
• 1:41:35
  there's no anger. Right.
• 1:41:38
  That's the difference. That's the difference.
• 1:41:41
  The anger, yeah. There's no anger.
• 1:41:44
  It's more it's just an acceptance.
• 1:41:47
  It's like, OK, I I I understand. I understand.
• 1:41:53
  What she was, you know, where she was at, why she did the
• 1:41:58
  things she did, all of that. Unfortunate, but it really
• 1:42:06
  doesn't affect me. I don't get angry about it.
• 1:42:10
  I had the exact same experience dealing with my father and the
• 1:42:14
  feelings I have about my thought.
• 1:42:15
  Do you know? When I was growing up as a child
• 1:42:18
  and as a teenager, even in my 20s, if I was in the park or
• 1:42:21
  walking down the street and I saw a father holding his son's
• 1:42:24
  hand or had him on his shoulders, or if they were
• 1:42:28
  riding a bicycle together or they were like, you know,
• 1:42:31
  playing a ball with one another, doing anything, any kind of
• 1:42:34
  healthy relationship. Listen, this is important.
• 1:42:37
  If I saw a father and son having a healthy relationship with one
• 1:42:41
  another, it would make me mad. It would make me angry.
• 1:42:45
  It would make me resentful. It triggered the hell out of me.
• 1:42:49
  It would throw me into a bipolar manic state or depression.
• 1:42:53
  Just just thinking about the fact that my father was a
• 1:42:57
  fucking douche and and the fact that I was deprived and never
• 1:43:02
  received that. It was such a bitterness, you
• 1:43:05
  know, that I didn't have that. Intimacy with my father to know
• 1:43:11
  I I don't know my father. I have no idea what's inside
• 1:43:14
  that shell. I have no idea what's inside
• 1:43:17
  there. I there's a body there.
• 1:43:19
  But whatever is inside that body has always been a mystery.
• 1:43:24
  It always will be a mystery to me.
• 1:43:27
  And huh. I said it might be you might
• 1:43:30
  never get the answer to that. Oh, I'm never going to because I
• 1:43:33
  haven't had anything to do with him for 20 years, you know, cuz
• 1:43:36
  he disowned me when I left the church.
• 1:43:38
  And that's another thing I don't understand.
• 1:43:40
  But the thing, well, actually, no, I do understand that.
• 1:43:42
  I do understand. I do understand.
• 1:43:44
  I understood. Later on, about 20 years later,
• 1:43:47
  I decided that you know what? My father was always already in
• 1:43:51
  his 40s, almost close to 50 by the time I had my.
• 1:43:56
  I'm leaving the church moment. I couldn't expect if my daughter
• 1:44:01
  had told, had told me I'm not going to talk to you unless you
• 1:44:05
  stop practicing your witchcraft stuff for your voodoo or
• 1:44:08
  whatever it is that you do. I would be like, you know what,
• 1:44:10
  I'm sorry you feel that way, but that's not changing my spiritual
• 1:44:13
  path. So now I can say I understand
• 1:44:16
  why my father would stay in line or fall in line in the church
• 1:44:21
  because he had no reason to change himself or change his
• 1:44:24
  beliefs just because I. I didn't believe that anymore.
• 1:44:29
  So for me that was on me. So I had to let that part go.
• 1:44:33
  But then all of the resentment stuff that I had to work, I woke
• 1:44:37
  up one morning and I said I am not okay.
• 1:44:41
  And the reason why I'm not okay is because I still have
• 1:44:44
  deceiving anger towards my father.
• 1:44:46
  And if I don't, I have to find a reason.
• 1:44:51
  To forgive this man, there has to be some redeeming quality in
• 1:44:56
  this human being that allows me to give him a pass.
• 1:45:01
  He needs a pass from me in order for me to forgive him.
• 1:45:06
  And then I then I realized that there was one quality about him
• 1:45:11
  that was decent enough for me to be able to forgive him.
• 1:45:16
  He's not a racist person. He's not a prejudiced person.
• 1:45:20
  He was a white boy, red hair, you know, white translucent
• 1:45:24
  skin, translucent skin that grew up in the South in Chesapeake,
• 1:45:29
  VA. He probably grew up around a lot
• 1:45:31
  of people that were really racist, yet at the same time was
• 1:45:37
  a member of a church that was very, very integrated and.
• 1:45:42
  Treated everyone the same, whether they were white, black,
• 1:45:45
  Asian or whatever. He was very neutral when it came
• 1:45:48
  to how he interacted with people.
• 1:45:49
  Impartial. My dad was very good about being
• 1:45:52
  impartial, at least in his behavior in in treating everyone
• 1:45:57
  equally so in that, and I don't believe that my dad has a racist
• 1:46:01
  bone in his body. And The thing is, is that that's
• 1:46:05
  pretty amazing for his age and how he grew up and what he
• 1:46:09
  experienced in life. I find that to be a redeeming
• 1:46:14
  quality in him, and based on that I said OK, that's enough
• 1:46:21
  for me to just forgive this asshole and move on.
• 1:46:23
  Now that I have a redeeming quality for this person, I can
• 1:46:27
  walk away from it and I can let it go.
• 1:46:30
  I don't have to be angry at this person anymore because it
• 1:46:33
  because there's something redeemable about that person
• 1:46:35
  after I had that realization. I was fine.
• 1:46:40
  I wasn't angry anymore. Like, it was like it didn't
• 1:46:43
  bother me. I didn't give a fuck anymore.
• 1:46:45
  There was no I I don't feel one way or another about it.
• 1:46:49
  Does it hurt? Does it still?
• 1:46:51
  Is there still a sharp, stabbing pain in my rectum when I think
• 1:46:55
  about my childhood for a second, yeah.
• 1:46:58
  But then I feel completely ambivalent about it and I had to
• 1:47:01
  let it go because that was only holding me back.
• 1:47:06
  Well, and have haven't we all heard it over and over again and
• 1:47:09
  probably rolled our eyes when we heard it?
• 1:47:12
  When people say we don't forgive people for them, we forgive for
• 1:47:17
  ourselves. Absolutely.
• 1:47:19
  You have to, you have to. And that's and that's a big
• 1:47:22
  problem. I think there's a one of the big
• 1:47:24
  problems in our society and culture is that people have
• 1:47:27
  become increasingly unforgiving, increasingly unforgiving about
• 1:47:32
  like being able to. Forgive people and move on.
• 1:47:36
  Especially when people make mistakes.
• 1:47:38
  Sometimes people make mistakes and they realize that they've
• 1:47:43
  made this mistake and they apologize and say I have to do
• 1:47:46
  better, I have to change. I realize that however I
• 1:47:50
  whatever state I was in at the moment when I said those things
• 1:47:53
  or did those things, that was wrong.
• 1:47:56
  Well, everybody. So ready to cancel somebody?
• 1:47:59
  Well, yeah, that's the whole cancel culture thing.
• 1:48:01
  But the there's a but the problem with that, there's a
• 1:48:04
  there's a positive side and a negative side to cancel, Cancel
• 1:48:07
  culture is actually a good thing.
• 1:48:10
  Hold on, hold on, hold on in in back in in the past, you know
• 1:48:16
  the concept of the idea was you got to try, you got a group of
• 1:48:19
  people, There's a community, there's a standard.
• 1:48:22
  People behave a certain way, they act a certain way.
• 1:48:24
  We're trying to move forward as a group.
• 1:48:27
  This one person is very problematic.
• 1:48:29
  They're creating problems. We've got to kick this person
• 1:48:32
  out of the tribe like we, we, we like them, but we got to kick
• 1:48:35
  them out. We can't allow this toxic
• 1:48:37
  influence to stay here because it's really fucking up our vibe.
• 1:48:40
  We're going to get rid of this person.
• 1:48:42
  But if this person is able to change, if this person is able
• 1:48:45
  to recognize their mistakes, if they're able to grow or they're
• 1:48:48
  able to fall back in line so that now there are productive.
• 1:48:53
  Part of the tribe and not an unproductive part of the tribe.
• 1:48:57
  Then we're going to bring that person and we're going to give
• 1:48:59
  them another chance. That's the concept.
• 1:49:01
  That's where the cancel culture fails.
• 1:49:04
  Because if if somebody says okay, I fucked up, let me back
• 1:49:07
  in, yet they don't let you back in, then you have a situation.
• 1:49:12
  Now you've got a group of people that are unforgiving,
• 1:49:14
  relentless. Cold hearted.
• 1:49:17
  And then you've got a person who is isolated, stuck and
• 1:49:20
  completely out of touch, and that isolation stuck and out of
• 1:49:24
  touch. That's really emotionally and
• 1:49:26
  psychologically damaging to people.
• 1:49:28
  Yeah, yeah, it absolutely is. I think that's why, you know, I
• 1:49:40
  don't get involved. I don't put myself in the
• 1:49:43
  position. You know, to be I don't mind
• 1:49:49
  being part of the community, I don't mind being part of groups,
• 1:49:53
  but I do not put myself in a position that that group is
• 1:50:00
  going to dictate how I feel about myself.
• 1:50:04
  Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 1:50:09
  Here's the thing. And I've never it's always been
• 1:50:11
  a mystery to me. I've been on TikTok since 2020,
• 1:50:15
  so three years and I've never understood why.
• 1:50:27
  And maybe you can help me because you're outside looking
• 1:50:29
  in. I can't understand it because
• 1:50:31
  it's me. I don't have trolls.
• 1:50:33
  I don't have people don't come at me.
• 1:50:37
  I've tried to get people to come at me for the views.
• 1:50:44
  OK, I'm like, oh, I need to create drama, you know, in the
• 1:50:48
  beginning, in the beginning, now, I don't care.
• 1:50:52
  In the beginning though, oh, you know, I'd I'd watch people,
• 1:50:55
  other big creators. And there's always drama, drama.
• 1:50:58
  Well, that's it. Everybody likes drama.
• 1:51:00
  I would try nobody, nobody. And I've never understood.
• 1:51:06
  And all I can think of though is it's the energy you put out.
• 1:51:12
  Absolutely. I feel, I feel that way about
• 1:51:16
  you. I feel that it really is the
• 1:51:20
  energy you put out. It is.
• 1:51:22
  It has to be. It has to be.
• 1:51:25
  Because when I stopped engaging with people, they stopped coming
• 1:51:28
  around. Every now and then I'll get a
• 1:51:30
  random person that makes a comment.
• 1:51:35
  On one of my videos, you know aren't you that guy blah blah
• 1:51:39
  blah or someone will come into my life.
• 1:51:41
  But that's like one off, That's not like being mass reported or
• 1:51:45
  20 people at a time coming into a live to start shit like block
• 1:51:49
  block, block, block block one person after another.
• 1:51:52
  Yeah, they're always wanting to come at you about your religion.
• 1:51:56
  Yeah, but but they stop for some reason.
• 1:52:02
  That that kind of like slowed down, that stopped.
• 1:52:04
  I I don't know why and I don't know why either other than my my
• 1:52:08
  attitude and my energy changed. I became more neutral.
• 1:52:11
  I became more indifferent. I became less affected by the
• 1:52:15
  attacks. I I don't think that these
• 1:52:17
  people, they don't get off. They really don't get their nut
• 1:52:23
  unless they can get the reaction out of the person that they're
• 1:52:27
  attacking. And they love it.
• 1:52:29
  They live for it. So, like if you try to create
• 1:52:32
  drama, yet those people know that you were going to be 100%
• 1:52:39
  unaffected by anything they say, They're going to go find
• 1:52:42
  somebody who will. Yeah, that's true.
• 1:52:45
  I want to can I ask you questions?
• 1:52:47
  I was going to ask you, so I know that.
• 1:52:49
  You're like being. I know that you're recently
• 1:52:52
  initiated into. A voodoo practice.
• 1:52:56
  I know there's many practices and I don't know which one you
• 1:52:59
  are initiated in. Several.
• 1:53:02
  OK, OK. Well, my question is, and I know
• 1:53:05
  also that sometimes just because you are welcomed in or initiated
• 1:53:11
  in, it doesn't mean that you're able to practice magic
• 1:53:15
  necessarily. But my question to you is, are
• 1:53:20
  you able to practice? The magical part of the voodoo
• 1:53:27
  religion. It depends on which.
• 1:53:30
  It depends on which tradition I'm referring to, because this
• 1:53:37
  is okay. I know it's complicated.
• 1:53:41
  Yeah right. And I wanna be able to explain
• 1:53:44
  it to you to make it very very clear.
• 1:53:48
  Hold on a SEC. I do want to address something
• 1:53:49
  that came up in my mind as you were starting to ask me that
• 1:53:52
  question specifically about initiation.
• 1:53:54
  Someone might ask me why? Why would you get initiated?
• 1:53:59
  You're such an independent person.
• 1:54:01
  You're so fucking opinionated about everything.
• 1:54:03
  You do what you want. You don't ask for people's
• 1:54:05
  permission, you just go. So why would you get initiated
• 1:54:10
  into anything? And the answer the answer is I
• 1:54:14
  got initiated for myself. It was a 100%.
• 1:54:20
  I want to see what's on the other side of the veil.
• 1:54:23
  I want to experience what other people have experienced.
• 1:54:27
  I want to be able to judge that experience.
• 1:54:29
  I want to be able to subjectively feel the effects of
• 1:54:33
  that experience. It's the same reason why anybody
• 1:54:36
  would do anything, jump off a Cliff, you know, bungee jump or
• 1:54:41
  jump out of a plane. I need to understand what that
• 1:54:45
  feeling feels like. I'm very deep into experience
• 1:54:49
  and being experiential and being able to grasp, you know.
• 1:54:55
  So the the idea is, did I need to get initiated in anything?
• 1:55:00
  Well the answer is no. I could do whatever I want.
• 1:55:03
  Why did I get initiated? Because I wanted to have that
• 1:55:06
  experience. I wanted to experience the
• 1:55:09
  initiation process. And there's certain, and there's
• 1:55:13
  perks and benefits from being initiated to not being
• 1:55:16
  initiated. And the number one perk in my
• 1:55:19
  traditions for getting initiated is because what it does is it
• 1:55:22
  solidifies your pack between the spirits and you.
• 1:55:25
  And there's a there's a pack that's made between you and the
• 1:55:29
  energies. Of the tradition that are going
• 1:55:33
  to also change and shape your energies.
• 1:55:36
  It's a it's a I'm coming into this and they're coming to me
• 1:55:39
  and now we're now we're now we're starting to move together
• 1:55:42
  and you become symbiotic with the energies that you're trying
• 1:55:46
  to attach to and the process of initiation does that that's what
• 1:55:50
  initiation is for. It unites a person with a
• 1:55:53
  particular type of whatever it is they're trying to grab, like
• 1:56:00
  so. That's how I feel about it, but
• 1:56:03
  but when it comes down to it, at the end of the day it really is
• 1:56:07
  about I wanted to have the experience, so I thought after
• 1:56:11
  experiencing that. But, and I'm familiar with
• 1:56:15
  because you were in Paulo, right?
• 1:56:19
  So, so, so. Paulo, Maham.
• 1:56:21
  And I have several Tatas as friends.
• 1:56:24
  More than one. So I'll just go ahead and tell
• 1:56:28
  people what I received. So I got initiated in the 21
• 1:56:31
  divisions, which is voodoo. But the 21 divisions I got
• 1:56:34
  initiated it into was was that the, the performance of the
• 1:56:38
  initiation was done in a more Cuban Puerto Rican style, which
• 1:56:42
  is different than the way they do it in Haiti.
• 1:56:45
  So I got initiated into 21 divisions which is voodoo.
• 1:56:49
  I got scratched in Paolo, my own Bay, which is another tradition
• 1:56:52
  that comes off the island of Cuba.
• 1:56:53
  It's very Congolese. It's it's roots are in the
• 1:56:56
  Congo, in Africa. I received my alekes or my beads
• 1:57:00
  in Santeria or Lukumi. And not even that long ago.
• 1:57:05
  Within the past 2 1/2 years, I received my hand in EFA, which
• 1:57:10
  is being a consecrated member of the EFA religion.
• 1:57:14
  That's another initiation that you do.
• 1:57:17
  And then I got initiated in Haitian voodoo.
• 1:57:19
  So I've been initiated into voodoo twice and I've received 1
• 1:57:23
  initiation in Palo Mayonbe and two initiations in Orisha
• 1:57:27
  tradition. And I'm not done yet.
• 1:57:30
  So that's what I'm going to. So I'm going to answer that.
• 1:57:33
  The thing about so the thing about Palo Mayonbe is I got
• 1:57:36
  scratched in that tradition because that's what my ancestor
• 1:57:40
  wanted. We call the ancestor the egg
• 1:57:42
  goon. That's what the egg goon wanted.
• 1:57:44
  So since the egg goon approved it.
• 1:57:47
  I got scratched in that. When I got scratched in that,
• 1:57:50
  what it gave me was a level of spiritual protection and a
• 1:57:55
  uniting and a bonding with the spirits of the tradition that I
• 1:57:58
  was trying to bond with. That's what Paulo did for me.
• 1:58:01
  But The thing is, is that Paulo and Haitian Voodoo and Voodoo
• 1:58:05
  are sister traditions because it's OK.
• 1:58:09
  So I practice. When I practice magic, I'm
• 1:58:12
  practicing voodoo. But Paulo and the but Paulo and
• 1:58:16
  Voodoo are very very similar to one another.
• 1:58:19
  Certain aspects are very similar to one another.
• 1:58:22
  So it all of these traditions developed in the Caribbean based
• 1:58:27
  on the individual groupings of Africans that were brought from
• 1:58:31
  the and brought from the Old world to the New World.
• 1:58:34
  So every single. Tribe group or people group that
• 1:58:39
  were brought, they all came with their own spiritual practices.
• 1:58:42
  They all came with their own beliefs, ancestral gods,
• 1:58:46
  ancestral deities, divinities and ancestors.
• 1:58:50
  And because of because of the situation of slavery in the
• 1:58:53
  Caribbean, all of these traditions developed
• 1:58:55
  differently. So a lot of it.
• 1:58:58
  All of the different traditions stem from a root, and that root
• 1:59:01
  comes from some tribes somewhere in Africa and.
• 1:59:06
  So there's a lot of cross pollination.
• 1:59:10
  There are spirits that float back and forth in between
• 1:59:14
  different traditions. But when it comes to practicing
• 1:59:19
  magic, the magic that I practice is primary, primarily voodoo.
• 1:59:24
  Those are the spirits that I'm most intimately connected with
• 1:59:28
  and the. So Orisha's actually exist
• 1:59:33
  within the Voodoo tradition too. Like I said, there's there's a
• 1:59:36
  lot of cross pollination between these practices in the
• 1:59:40
  Caribbean. And what people don't understand
• 1:59:43
  about these traditions is they're very, very deeply,
• 1:59:46
  they're deeply personal. They're extremely personal and
• 1:59:50
  subjective. So to.
• 1:59:52
  Me. That's the religious part of it.
• 1:59:55
  Well. The the religious part of it is
• 1:59:58
  the initiation process. The religiosity comes with the
• 2:00:02
  initiation process. The initiation has to be
• 2:00:05
  performed this way because it's been performed like this for
• 2:00:08
  hundreds of years. Its origins are deep in the
• 2:00:10
  roots of Africa and this is the way our ancestors practiced it
• 2:00:14
  for thousands and thousands of years.
• 2:00:15
  So that initiation process is is just a continuation of a
• 2:00:21
  tradition or a line of energy that has has not ceased.
• 2:00:24
  It changed. It looks different, but the
• 2:00:27
  process is the same. And in order to be, in order to
• 2:00:31
  be, I guess you could say respectable or acknowledged by
• 2:00:34
  people that actually practice this stuff seriously,
• 2:00:37
  traditionally and elders, you have to be initiated in it.
• 2:00:41
  If you don't get initiated in it, you're you're not.
• 2:00:45
  No one's going to see you. No one's going to hear you.
• 2:00:47
  No one. Thinks goes with any of the
• 2:00:51
  practices that require initiation.
• 2:00:53
  I think the Freemasonry, you want to learn the handshakes.
• 2:00:57
  Catholics and you want to get to the 33rd degree and know the
• 2:01:01
  mysteries of the 33rd degree, then you're going to do that.
• 2:01:04
  Anybody that's not interested in that is not going to do it.
• 2:01:07
  And my interest has been. My interest has been to receive
• 2:01:12
  these initiations in order for me to have a deeper
• 2:01:15
  understanding of myself and the deeper understanding of the
• 2:01:18
  world and to have the experience and feel the connection, the
• 2:01:21
  bond, because I can feel a difference post initiation to
• 2:01:26
  not being initiated and question here we.
• 2:01:33
  This is a question. Do you feel that?
• 2:01:39
  The fact that you were born into such a strict tradition okay, do
• 2:01:52
  you feel like that that might be the power that drives your
• 2:02:00
  interest to grow up and then join these other?
• 2:02:08
  Strict traditions? No.
• 2:02:11
  Like, you're comfortable there? No, not at all.
• 2:02:14
  Totally uncomfortable with strict religion.
• 2:02:17
  And The thing is is here's the deal.
• 2:02:18
  I got to put this out there to people, and people might not
• 2:02:21
  like this. These are spiritualities.
• 2:02:24
  They're not religions. They were not religions.
• 2:02:26
  They were never religions in the sense that not like Christianity
• 2:02:30
  is a religion, not like Islam is a religion, not like Buddhism is
• 2:02:33
  a religion, Okay. So when you're talking about
• 2:02:37
  African spirituality or West African spirituality, for one
• 2:02:41
  thing, when we talk about Africa, it's a really fucking
• 2:02:44
  big continent with a lot of people, with a lot of tribes,
• 2:02:49
  even within geographical regions, different language
• 2:02:52
  groups, okay. So traditionally, someone
• 2:02:57
  practiced a particular spiritual practice because their father
• 2:03:00
  practiced it, their grandfather practiced it, their great
• 2:03:03
  grandfather practiced it, going as far back as you can imagine.
• 2:03:07
  And so you're talking about different groups of people that
• 2:03:12
  have different sets of ancestral practices.
• 2:03:16
  And those ancestral practices, those spiritualities are not
• 2:03:19
  something separate from their political environment, not
• 2:03:23
  something separate from their daytoday routine.
• 2:03:26
  Because the spirit world and the physical world go hand in hand
• 2:03:30
  with one another. So when you're thinking about
• 2:03:32
  what you're going to do in the physical world, you're also
• 2:03:34
  considering that ramifications of what it's going to do to the
• 2:03:37
  spiritual world and how the spiritual world is going to
• 2:03:40
  affect the material world. There's a constant back and
• 2:03:42
  forth between what is seen and what is not seen.
• 2:03:45
  And a lot of it has to do with ancestors A lot.
• 2:03:48
  Ancestor veneration, ancestor worship, or ancestor connection,
• 2:03:52
  or having a connection with your ancestral lineage and spirits is
• 2:03:56
  crucially important for someone who is doing these particular
• 2:03:59
  practices. Although I find it to be
• 2:04:01
  important for everyone to do ancestor work, Ancestor work, I
• 2:04:05
  think, is incredibly important. It's just as important as doing
• 2:04:08
  shadow work. I agree.
• 2:04:10
  Yeah, so. I know, though, there are and
• 2:04:14
  not you, because I know you. I know your ancestry because
• 2:04:17
  you've spoke on it many, many times.
• 2:04:20
  But I know that there's I've seen many other who do
• 2:04:23
  practitioners that are as white as that sheet of paper.
• 2:04:31
  How does that work? I mean, I I I guess I shouldn't
• 2:04:36
  assume that they don't have any ancestry.
• 2:04:38
  No, no, no, no no You can be. Do you understand where by
• 2:04:41
  confusion have zero? You can have zero connection
• 2:04:46
  biologically to these traditions because it's a rite of passion
• 2:04:51
  passage. It's when the spirit world says
• 2:04:55
  we will accept this person. It's like taking in a child.
• 2:04:59
  It's a spiritual adoption. So when the spirit world comes
• 2:05:02
  to you and says we want you to do this because we are going to
• 2:05:05
  help you, we're going to help you progress in life, we're
• 2:05:08
  going to protect you, we're going to give you comfort, we're
• 2:05:11
  going to help provide for you materially.
• 2:05:13
  We want to see you succeed then It's kind of like when you go
• 2:05:16
  into that, when you walk into that tradition, you're being
• 2:05:20
  adopted by that tribe. You become a member of that by
• 2:05:26
  association, not just not because you have something
• 2:05:30
  biological. And what people need to
• 2:05:31
  understand is these practices are closed because they're
• 2:05:37
  initiation based, and in order to be considered part of that
• 2:05:41
  spiritual tribe, there's a process of a rite of pass
• 2:05:46
  passage that gives the official stamp on the person is being
• 2:05:50
  able to either be a part of it or not.
• 2:05:52
  But that doesn't come from people, it comes from the spirit
• 2:05:54
  world spirit, right? Because literally everything is
• 2:05:59
  divined upon. It doesn't matter if you've got
• 2:06:01
  some a santero throwing the de lagoon, which is the calorie
• 2:06:04
  shells or a babalao who's throwing a divination or a
• 2:06:10
  Haitian of voodoo mambo or hungan that is is using playing
• 2:06:15
  cards. There's always some form of
• 2:06:17
  divination that is performed in order to determine the will of
• 2:06:21
  the spirits. In Paolo Mayonbe it's the
• 2:06:23
  Chammalongos. But the idea is we always go to
• 2:06:27
  the spirit 1st. And the spirit makes the final
• 2:06:29
  decision about yes, this person should be here, No, this person
• 2:06:33
  shouldn't be here. Sometimes when the spirit says
• 2:06:35
  no, this person shouldn't be here.
• 2:06:37
  The spirit is saying this is not your house, this is not your
• 2:06:40
  home, this is not where you belong.
• 2:06:42
  There's somewhere else you belong.
• 2:06:43
  Keep looking for it. I went to a palero and that was
• 2:06:48
  interested in scratching me like the person who brought me into
• 2:06:52
  Paulo, you know, I went to, we went to his agoon and we went to
• 2:06:56
  his spirits and asked whether or not he could scratch me in his
• 2:07:00
  house. And the answer was no, this is
• 2:07:02
  not your house. So then we put two and two
• 2:07:07
  together. We thought about it.
• 2:07:09
  We meditated on it. I said, you know what, I there's
• 2:07:11
  something in the back of my head here that's saying I need to go
• 2:07:14
  back to this other place. Long story short is you're going
• 2:07:19
  to find your way in the traditions if you just allow
• 2:07:23
  spirit to lead you and keep leading you in the right
• 2:07:26
  direction. Most of the time your experience
• 2:07:30
  is 1. Your big part of your experience
• 2:07:33
  is going to be based on the quality of the godparents you
• 2:07:35
  choose to initiate. You whose house you choose, who
• 2:07:39
  you choose to run with is going to make a big difference between
• 2:07:42
  whether or not you have a positive experience or a
• 2:07:45
  negative experience. There's a lot of people that
• 2:07:47
  have negative experiences because they choose poorly when
• 2:07:51
  it comes to the people they want to associate.
• 2:07:56
  Looking at it from my side of the fence, which is very, you
• 2:08:00
  know, it's all just amazing to me.
• 2:08:02
  But you know, there is a there stories and tales and lore of
• 2:08:07
  these houses and how they work and how, you know, they're
• 2:08:13
  complex systems. They're complex systems of
• 2:08:17
  individuals and communities. What I've come to realize is
• 2:08:22
  that there's good people and bad people in every spiritual
• 2:08:26
  practice period. The mobsters, the mob.
• 2:08:28
  There are good Christians. There are bad Christians, There
• 2:08:31
  are good santeros, bad ones. It depends on the motivation and
• 2:08:35
  the intention of the practitioner.
• 2:08:37
  It depends on how they wield their power.
• 2:08:40
  It depends. And The thing is, is I am not
• 2:08:43
  dogmatic. I am not a dogmatic.
• 2:08:48
  You know, Chicago, those guys were mostly Catholics, right?
• 2:08:53
  Right. And and here's the other thing,
• 2:08:54
  this is where people get hung up.
• 2:08:56
  Where people get hung up is there's not one right way to do
• 2:09:00
  anything. So whenever you'll see spiritual
• 2:09:05
  practitioners, let's just give an example of the Lukumi
• 2:09:08
  tradition or or anybody who's in like Afro, Cuban, EFA or
• 2:09:12
  whatever. You'll see people who will
• 2:09:15
  viciously go after each other's throats about any random
• 2:09:19
  particular part of an initiation or what someone receives or
• 2:09:22
  doesn't receive. These are all things based on a
• 2:09:26
  oral tradition that's been passed down through many, many
• 2:09:30
  different lines, many, many different houses, many, many
• 2:09:33
  different ancestors, and not everyone is going to practice
• 2:09:36
  the same. That's what happens.
• 2:09:38
  That's the problem with an oral tradition, A spirituality that's
• 2:09:42
  based in an oral tradition. Oral traditions are good because
• 2:09:46
  oral traditions have the ability to change and evolve with the
• 2:09:49
  people that practice them. Opposed to taking a Bible and
• 2:09:55
  saying this is the way, the truth and the light, and you're
• 2:09:58
  going to practice it this way. And if you don't do it this way,
• 2:10:01
  then you can't say that you're a part of it.
• 2:10:03
  So you there's two, there's two issues that you have.
• 2:10:06
  You have issues that come up with a codified religious dog
• 2:10:09
  dogma and system, and you've got situations that come up with an
• 2:10:13
  oral tradition of people that are evolving.
• 2:10:16
  So The thing is, is that there's I I realized today there's
• 2:10:20
  always going to be people that fight about these things that do
• 2:10:25
  not matter. At the end of the day, those
• 2:10:28
  things really don't matter if you're looking at the big
• 2:10:31
  picture, if you're looking at the grand scale of things.
• 2:10:34
  But what people need to remember, what people should
• 2:10:37
  know, who are interested in getting involved in these
• 2:10:39
  practices, is it really is about the individual person's
• 2:10:43
  relationship with their ancestors and whoever it is that
• 2:10:47
  walks with them. And what initiation does,
• 2:10:52
  really. It doesn't teach you, it doesn't
• 2:10:54
  give you anything. So here's the other thing I
• 2:10:56
  found. Initiation doesn't necessarily
• 2:11:00
  give you anything. It reveals to you what was
• 2:11:04
  already there to begin with. And then there are consecrated
• 2:11:08
  items that everyone who is an initiate receives, that they
• 2:11:12
  take home and use as their shrines.
• 2:11:14
  That is going to be the representation of their
• 2:11:16
  spirituality and the connection that they have between them and
• 2:11:20
  the spirits. But these are things that it's a
• 2:11:22
  it's a it's a self Gnosis. These are Gnosis traditions by
• 2:11:26
  revelation, health revelation, and also priests that help
• 2:11:30
  facilitate that. And it's very difficult for
• 2:11:35
  people who are Westerners to understand this because you have
• 2:11:38
  to completely decolonize your brain.
• 2:11:43
  Catholicism, Christianity, how I was raised.
• 2:11:47
  But The thing is, is that my spiritual belief system is not
• 2:11:51
  rigid. My spiritual belief system is
• 2:11:55
  quite fluid because my spirituality is not only
• 2:11:58
  informed by West African spiritual practices, it's also
• 2:12:02
  informed by Buddhism and Hinduism and Gnostic
• 2:12:06
  Christianity and some indigenous practices and Wicca And do you
• 2:12:13
  see what I'm saying? So like my spiritual, my
• 2:12:16
  spirituality and chaos magic, My spiritual my spirituality
• 2:12:22
  basically is my life. Your spirit, your spiritual
• 2:12:28
  path, is your life. It's not what you choose to do.
• 2:12:31
  It's not whether or not you're a Christian or or or a Muslim.
• 2:12:34
  It's not whether or not you decide to go lukumi or go
• 2:12:37
  traditional AIFA. It's not that.
• 2:12:40
  It's not the practice, It's you. It's always you and it always
• 2:12:43
  has been you. So for people who are looking to
• 2:12:48
  fit in somewhere, they'll never find spirituality because the
• 2:12:53
  spirituality is you. It is.
• 2:12:55
  It exists in you. I mean, we've only had 5011
• 2:13:00
  prophets say it's in you. It is, it is.
• 2:13:06
  But The thing is is but it takes spiritual evolution.
• 2:13:11
  You have to be spiritually evolved enough to see.
• 2:13:15
  That it, that's right. And it's all about the growth
• 2:13:17
  and it's all about exactly what we talked about here today.
• 2:13:21
  About learning about ourselves, bringing it in, letting go of
• 2:13:27
  what is an hours, right. So the whole thing you asked me
• 2:13:31
  about what kind of magic I can practice and what I can't.
• 2:13:33
  I'm a scratch palero, but I'll never be a priest because I'm a
• 2:13:38
  bisexual man. And if you're bisexual to any of
• 2:13:41
  those people, you're technically gay and they won't.
• 2:13:43
  You can't be gay and be a priest in my own.
• 2:13:46
  It is not acceptable within that community or by the standards of
• 2:13:50
  that tradition. You can be scratched.
• 2:13:52
  But there are people that say you can't scratch a gay person
• 2:13:55
  or a bisexual man or a lesbian or someone who's bisexual.
• 2:13:58
  There are people that say you can't even touch them.
• 2:14:01
  Then there are other people that say, well, yeah, they can be
• 2:14:02
  scratched, but they can't be priest.
• 2:14:04
  This is a huge fight within that community.
• 2:14:07
  In Cuban, EFA Babalao say women absolutely cannot be priests.
• 2:14:12
  They absolutely cannot be Ian Efas.
• 2:14:15
  They cannot, they cannot touch that Akeem.
• 2:14:18
  They cannot practice the opuele. They can't cast the divination.
• 2:14:22
  Well, 80% of the temples in Africa over there do initiate
• 2:14:26
  women. There are female priestesses
• 2:14:29
  that can do the exact same things Bob allows to can.
• 2:14:32
  But in Cuban E5, if you're a female, you're always going to
• 2:14:35
  be in this place. You can get your warriors after
• 2:14:38
  you get your warriors and you know who your Orisha is and you
• 2:14:40
  know what your sign is. That's it for you.
• 2:14:43
  So you're looking at man made, constructed constraints around
• 2:14:48
  the spirituality. Now The thing is, is that am I
• 2:14:50
  involved in all of this? Yeah.
• 2:14:52
  Does it affect me? No, because I take it for what
• 2:14:57
  it is and I am not interested and getting into a fight with
• 2:15:07
  some Tata that because I've had a Dick in my mouth.
• 2:15:11
  They don't think that I can get scratched or connected to my
• 2:15:13
  ancestor Okay, that's fine. And so that concept is so it's
• 2:15:18
  somebody made a comment on my TikTok video.
• 2:15:21
  Somebody said, well I have a Congolese ancestor but nobody
• 2:15:25
  will scratch me in. In Paulo.
• 2:15:27
  I'm like, well, who are you talking to?
• 2:15:29
  Who said that you can't get scratched?
• 2:15:31
  Find somebody that shares your same belief system.
• 2:15:34
  Right. I guess, you know, it's just
• 2:15:36
  like any other tradition. I mean, Christianity, for
• 2:15:39
  instance, you've got Methodists, you've got, yeah, got and on
• 2:15:45
  1000 of them. So, yeah.
• 2:15:47
  And then and so what's going to happen is it's going to what's
• 2:15:51
  going to happen to these particular traditions in the
• 2:15:53
  diaspora specifically the diaspora is you're going to
• 2:15:56
  continue to see splintering off groups.
• 2:16:00
  There's going to be, there's going to there, people are going
• 2:16:01
  to continue to shift and grow and move around one another and
• 2:16:05
  get to fight and have sisms with one another.
• 2:16:08
  I think it's a good thing. Because that keeps the tradition
• 2:16:11
  alive. Otherwise it stagnates and dies.
• 2:16:14
  Yeah. So in my opinion, when I look
• 2:16:16
  around and I see all the different types of Christianity,
• 2:16:20
  it doesn't affect me because I'm not going to be part of the
• 2:16:24
  argument, right? I don't have, I don't have any
• 2:16:26
  vested interest in deciding whether or not Orthodox or
• 2:16:30
  Catholics or Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons or Baptist or
• 2:16:33
  Methodist that either one of them are any better than
• 2:16:37
  anything else. Because the fucking Bible
• 2:16:38
  doesn't change. It says what it says.
• 2:16:41
  You can interpret what it says however you want.
• 2:16:44
  That book doesn't change people's beliefs about how it
• 2:16:48
  should be practice changes. But then, the longer these
• 2:16:52
  traditions are around, the more they have to evolve.
• 2:16:55
  So I mean, here's a question. As a witch, I think okay.
• 2:17:05
  Now, am I going to word this because I don't associate myself
• 2:17:11
  with any particular tradition? Okay, I'm most certainly not.
• 2:17:16
  I have purposely not initiated in anything of any kind on
• 2:17:23
  purpose. Not that I've not been asked.
• 2:17:25
  I'm don't. I don't know interest.
• 2:17:30
  I know that I'm even friends with some people that feel this
• 2:17:35
  way. Because of that, then, I'm just
• 2:17:38
  really not a real witch. Oh, that's their opinion.
• 2:17:43
  And their other people's opinions about you don't matter
• 2:17:46
  and they don't. They don't matter right?
• 2:17:50
  And you're evolved enough to know that your self worth as a
• 2:17:54
  practitioner. Had nothing to do with them
• 2:17:57
  knowing that there are other people probably going to be
• 2:17:59
  listening to this, OK, young people, and they're really hung
• 2:18:06
  up and caught up with. I've got to get.
• 2:18:10
  Initiated in something or I or no one's going to take me
• 2:18:13
  seriously. I I feel like we we've got to
• 2:18:20
  send a message that that just isn't true.
• 2:18:23
  You're choosing to do this at and let's also keep in mind your
• 2:18:27
  age that you're choosing to do this.
• 2:18:29
  You've lived a lot before you came to the decision.
• 2:18:36
  To be initiated into these practices.
• 2:18:38
  You weren't initiated in them when you were 20.
• 2:18:41
  Is that correct? Oh, no.
• 2:18:43
  No. It took me 20 years to get over
• 2:18:45
  the religious trauma of my childhood, to even be even open
• 2:18:49
  to getting initiated or joining any other spiritual tradition at
• 2:18:53
  all. Yeah.
• 2:18:55
  I don't think you have to be initiated in anything to
• 2:18:58
  practice witchcraft. I don't Well.
• 2:19:02
  So The thing is is like, I want to be very, very clear and
• 2:19:04
  specific about how I feel about initiation opposed to not being
• 2:19:09
  initiated. And I'm going to use Orisha
• 2:19:11
  tradition as an example, which is something I'm a part of,
• 2:19:16
  right? Anyone can go to the river with
• 2:19:22
  honey and cinnamon and oranges and talk to ocean, or prey to
• 2:19:27
  ocean, or work with the energy that is ocean.
• 2:19:30
  Who is the orisha that governs over the fresh waters?
• 2:19:33
  No one's telling anyone you can't do that.
• 2:19:35
  Well, there are people that say you can't do that.
• 2:19:37
  Fuck those people. They're morons.
• 2:19:39
  Anybody can go to the river and talk to the spirits of the
• 2:19:42
  river. And if you use ocean, if you
• 2:19:44
  want to talk to ocean, then you're going to connect with
• 2:19:47
  that particular spiritual current.
• 2:19:50
  Okay. If you want to go out into the
• 2:19:51
  woods and you want to take out an offering of tobacco and rum
• 2:19:55
  and a coconut and give it to osine, which is the orisha that
• 2:19:59
  governs over the medicinal plants and the herbal healing.
• 2:20:04
  Then you can. No one's telling you that you
• 2:20:06
  can't do that. Not everyone say, ah, they're
• 2:20:09
  going to come after you. They're going to come after you
• 2:20:11
  and all the stuff. That's bullshit.
• 2:20:14
  Anyone can do that. But if you want to get the card,
• 2:20:21
  and you want somebody to teach you the actual practices, and
• 2:20:24
  you want to understand the mysteries, you want to know what
• 2:20:26
  actually goes into that pot, or you want to know how the magic
• 2:20:30
  is practice constructed in a particular way, no one's going
• 2:20:33
  to teach you that unless you become a member of that group.
• 2:20:35
  It's the same thing with Freemasonry.
• 2:20:38
  Anyone can buy tons of books about Freemasonry and what they
• 2:20:41
  teach, and most of the mysteries you can find online.
• 2:20:44
  Like people have infiltrated and gone up through the ranks just
• 2:20:47
  so they could to find out what these people do and publish them
• 2:20:51
  on, you know, and certain parts of the web and the fringes of
• 2:20:54
  the web. But just because you know how to
• 2:20:57
  do those things doesn't give you the license to be able to
• 2:21:01
  practice that magic if it's a specific tradition of magic,
• 2:21:06
  right? But if we're talking about just
• 2:21:08
  traditional witchcraft, no one has to be initiated to practice
• 2:21:13
  voodoo. No one has to be.
• 2:21:16
  No one has to be initiated to practice witchcraft because
• 2:21:19
  these are spiritualities, they're lifestyles, and it's
• 2:21:22
  between you and the spirits. And I, and I think it also comes
• 2:21:25
  down to oral traditions, things I've learned from people, OK, of
• 2:21:32
  all walks. You know when back in the 90s
• 2:21:36
  when I was hanging around a bunch of Wiccans, you know, I
• 2:21:39
  learned a bunch of stuff there. I've learned a bunch of stuff
• 2:21:43
  from my Tata friends. You know, I've learned a bunch
• 2:21:46
  of stuff from. All kinds of people, some of
• 2:21:51
  which I used to this day, and I feel like I was given those
• 2:21:57
  gifts and I can use them, otherwise I wouldn't have been
• 2:22:00
  given them okay. But I don't feel like I'm
• 2:22:04
  treading anywhere. But my point is, you do not have
• 2:22:10
  to. I just know that there's a
• 2:22:13
  recent trend that I'm seeing. Where even with just the
• 2:22:19
  traditional witchcraft, herbs, candles, the traditional stuff,
• 2:22:25
  somewhere someone along the line is coming up with this business
• 2:22:29
  of while you need to be initiated.
• 2:22:34
  Yeah, And the reason they do that?
• 2:22:35
  It's a power. It's a power grab.
• 2:22:37
  Well, it's. Yeah, I think it's also, yeah,
• 2:22:40
  it's a power grab and it's well, I'm going to sell that so I can
• 2:22:45
  initiate you for, right. Well, so that's the other thing.
• 2:22:49
  Yeah. The other thing is that getting
• 2:22:51
  initiated is not cheap. No, I know you can.
• 2:22:54
  Somebody has to get these box. Yeah.
• 2:22:57
  Yeah. Which I've never.
• 2:22:59
  I don't know. I'm.
• 2:23:00
  I have my own opinions on that. Putting a price I've never paid
• 2:23:04
  less than $1500 for any of my initiation.
• 2:23:07
  Some of them have been way more expensive.
• 2:23:09
  Oh yeah, Two or three thousand, absolutely.
• 2:23:11
  I'm aware, I'm aware. But that that is, that is part
• 2:23:16
  of that though. That makes me go when when you
• 2:23:20
  put a, when you put a price on it.
• 2:23:23
  It cheapens it to me. Well, here's the problem.
• 2:23:26
  Here's the thing about let me let me qualify why somebody
• 2:23:29
  would pay to do one of the traditions that I'm in in order
• 2:23:33
  to do the traditions that I'm in.
• 2:23:35
  There's a period in each initiation that there's a
• 2:23:38
  there's a time frame. Some of these initiations take
• 2:23:41
  three days, some of them take seven days, some of them take
• 2:23:45
  longer. There are people that have to be
• 2:23:48
  hired to work the tradition. It's not just the priest that
• 2:23:51
  does the work. They need helpers.
• 2:23:53
  So now you're talking about people's time and their energy.
• 2:23:56
  There's animals that have to be sacrificed.
• 2:23:58
  Those animals have to be bought. They have to be handled.
• 2:24:01
  They have to be slaughtered. There's cooks, there's some,
• 2:24:04
  there's there's vessels that are bought and consecrated with
• 2:24:08
  mysteries put in them. It's not cheap, and it's not
• 2:24:10
  cheap because somebody wants to make a lot of money.
• 2:24:14
  Somebody has to be able to paid. You have to get paid for your
• 2:24:17
  time in order to do something, but not just get paid for your
• 2:24:21
  time to do something. All this other stuff has to be
• 2:24:24
  bought. So paying $1500 or $2000 for an
• 2:24:27
  initiation means that someone's letting you live in their home
• 2:24:31
  for three days. Someone is feeding you for three
• 2:24:33
  days. Someone is killing animals for
• 2:24:36
  you. Some do you know what I'm
• 2:24:38
  saying? Someone, someone is getting
• 2:24:40
  their friends. More someone's getting their
• 2:24:42
  friends to come over to help them facilitate the ceremony.
• 2:24:45
  Sometimes it's some like in EFA you in order in the tradition,
• 2:24:49
  in order for your initiation to be proper.
• 2:24:52
  In order for it to be recognized as legitimate, there has to be 3
• 2:24:55
  priests present, right? So like when you've got a
• 2:24:58
  minimum of three priests that have to show up to do the
• 2:25:01
  ceremony and each one of them has to get paid.
• 2:25:03
  Yeah, you're going today, you're going to spend several grand to
• 2:25:07
  do it because nothing's cheap. Everything costs money.
• 2:25:09
  And if you have to travel to do it, you're going to buy a plane
• 2:25:12
  ticket or you're going to pay for gas and you're going to
• 2:25:14
  drive there and you're going to spend.
• 2:25:15
  Yeah, it's a lot. Me, someone hiring me to do
• 2:25:19
  spell work and I, I charge, but I only charge for the stuff I'm
• 2:25:24
  using, right and right. And The thing is, it's like even
• 2:25:28
  at the bare bones of people trying to make this as
• 2:25:32
  affordable as possible, it's still cost and there's no way to
• 2:25:35
  get around it because it wouldn't be an initiation unless
• 2:25:38
  you had these components. So that that's the whole thing.
• 2:25:41
  But like, but what what I'm talking about is having paying
• 2:25:45
  for very specific ceremonies done within the traditions that
• 2:25:47
  I'm a part of. If you're just saying I'm a
• 2:25:51
  witch and I practice traditional witchcraft, well, that's just
• 2:25:54
  fine. There's never been an initiation
• 2:25:56
  for witchcraft. Not like it was a sacred old
• 2:25:59
  order like the Gardarian Gardenarian Wicca or Alexandrian
• 2:26:05
  Wicca. That's.
• 2:26:06
  Not even sacred and old. That's Neo, right?
• 2:26:10
  I know. And The thing is, is that, like
• 2:26:12
  if you lived in Africa and you wanted to get initiated and you
• 2:26:15
  were part of a tribe that wouldn't cost you anything
• 2:26:18
  because everybody already has animals.
• 2:26:20
  There is already priests that serve the tribe.
• 2:26:22
  There are already. This is, this is part of their
• 2:26:24
  lifestyle. This isn't something that they
• 2:26:27
  this is not extra to them. This is part of the this is part
• 2:26:30
  of the lifestyle. And when a child is born, it's
• 2:26:32
  divined. This child is going to grow up
• 2:26:35
  and be a priest of this particular divinity at some
• 2:26:37
  point in time. They're going to have to do it.
• 2:26:39
  Really important for people to educate themselves on that, like
• 2:26:43
  like what you just explained. That helps me understand it so
• 2:26:47
  much more than I did before, because people are out to make a
• 2:26:51
  buck. They're so.
• 2:26:54
  I did a video the other day. Even with Reiki and Quantum
• 2:26:58
  Healing, as new as that is, it's done nothing but spawn a new
• 2:27:03
  path for people to rob you of your money.
• 2:27:08
  Oh yeah, because there. Are people?
• 2:27:10
  Yeah, I have people yelling at me all the time that I do too
• 2:27:13
  much. I'm the reason I'm not making
• 2:27:15
  any money because I'm doing too much.
• 2:27:17
  Free is what I get accused of. Okay.
• 2:27:23
  I feel like money's going to come my way.
• 2:27:26
  I don't worry about it. Okay.
• 2:27:27
  I don't give it any thought. Money will come my way.
• 2:27:30
  And guess what? I'm not doing without a damn
• 2:27:32
  thing. So.
• 2:27:34
  So let's. Look, look, you know it's not
• 2:27:36
  cheap to keep this figure. OKOK, groceries in.
• 2:27:41
  Cheap. Groceries in cheap, Yes.
• 2:27:43
  But you know, here's the thing, I'm me, I'm like, don't do
• 2:27:46
  anything for free. Don't even talk to somebody for
• 2:27:48
  free with a with a card in your hand.
• 2:27:50
  And I'll tell you. And so this is the thing.
• 2:27:52
  I'm a sex worker and that's not a secret.
• 2:27:55
  Everybody knows I'm a big fucking whore.
• 2:27:57
  And I've been doing it for 16 years.
• 2:27:59
  And my experience in life with dealing with an exchange of
• 2:28:03
  energy, and there's not anything more intimate than sexual energy
• 2:28:06
  and erotic energy that you can share with somebody.
• 2:28:09
  When you are doing what I do for a living, you are, you're
• 2:28:14
  putting yourself out, You're exposing yourself.
• 2:28:17
  You're opening yourself up to strangers to come to your home,
• 2:28:21
  to interact with them, to coach or guide them in an erotic way
• 2:28:25
  or provide some kind of sexual shamanism where you're doing
• 2:28:29
  sexual healing. I do sexual healing.
• 2:28:32
  So what I do is like in one way it's like, you know, just
• 2:28:36
  straight up sex work and in another way it's shamanism.
• 2:28:41
  So so The thing is, is that you know you have to understand your
• 2:28:47
  value and you have to have self worth and understanding.
• 2:28:50
  Your value is and someone else has to appreciate your value.
• 2:28:55
  Someone else has to look at you and say this person is worth the
• 2:28:59
  time. Now The thing is, is I'm not a
• 2:29:01
  barterer. If, if, if, if I was a barterer,
• 2:29:05
  I'd be like, yeah, come over, I'll do my, I'll do my stick on
• 2:29:09
  you and you can, you know, bring me over a cake.
• 2:29:11
  You know, because I love birthday cake and I have to stay
• 2:29:14
  away from birthday cakes because I'll eat birthday cake every
• 2:29:17
  day. But bring over a birthday cake
• 2:29:18
  and I'll give you a massage, that kind of thing.
• 2:29:21
  But I don't do that because eating a birthday cake isn't
• 2:29:24
  what I need. I need to be able to pay my cell
• 2:29:26
  phone bill. I need to be able to pay my
• 2:29:28
  power bill so there's an equal exchange of energy.
• 2:29:31
  And like I'm going to go down this a couple of other ways for
• 2:29:34
  people to understand this. When you do something for free
• 2:29:37
  for someone, let's say someone comes to me and they come to me
• 2:29:40
  and they've got erectile dysfunction, they've got
• 2:29:43
  problems with intimacy, they're dealing with internalized
• 2:29:47
  homophobia, are there, they're in the closet, and they need
• 2:29:50
  some kind of outlet or release for intimacy with another man.
• 2:29:54
  There's a lot of reasons why men would come to me in order to
• 2:29:56
  have these erotic exchanges, these power exchanges.
• 2:30:00
  OKI will do fetish things with them that they can't get their
• 2:30:03
  girlfriends, wives, or boyfriends or husbands to do.
• 2:30:06
  OK, so there's lots of reasons why I exist.
• 2:30:08
  I serve a purpose in this life. I have a special purpose, like
• 2:30:12
  Steve Martin. I've got a special purpose in
• 2:30:17
  life. OK, But The thing is, let's say
• 2:30:19
  someone comes to me and I do this healing work on them and
• 2:30:22
  they leave and their life, the quality of their life gets
• 2:30:25
  better. They understand themselves
• 2:30:26
  better. They they're able to reverse
• 2:30:28
  maybe some of their disease are able to get their spunk back.
• 2:30:31
  OK, I have created a karmic debt for that person.
• 2:30:34
  That person owes me because it was not an equal exchange of
• 2:30:38
  energy. That means all of the healing
• 2:30:42
  that I did for that person, all of the techniques I taught them,
• 2:30:45
  even if it's masturbation techniques, all of the things
• 2:30:48
  that I taught this person, this person is going to benefit from
• 2:30:50
  my years of experience with sexual alchemy.
• 2:30:53
  They're going to leave here. They're going to be better off.
• 2:30:56
  I'm going to be the same. There's not a balanced view of
• 2:31:00
  energy, OK? There's also not a severing of
• 2:31:02
  the energy. If you come to me and I do body
• 2:31:06
  work on you and I teach you all these things that I know how to
• 2:31:09
  do and you pay me, then when you walk out the door I never want
• 2:31:13
  to see you. I I don't have to ever see your
• 2:31:15
  face again. Our energy exchange is over.
• 2:31:17
  It is a one and done situation. It is a transactional
• 2:31:21
  relationship and I feel the same way about anything spiritual I
• 2:31:26
  did. That's not to say that I have
• 2:31:28
  not donated my services or I haven't charged someone, or I've
• 2:31:32
  taken half the money and handed the other or handed half of it
• 2:31:35
  back because I knew they needed it.
• 2:31:38
  Okay. I'm not saying that I don't do
• 2:31:40
  charity work. I do charity work.
• 2:31:43
  But that person has to really need it and they have to want my
• 2:31:47
  services because the same people that are going to complain about
• 2:31:50
  you charging money for your spiritual services are the same
• 2:31:55
  people that will go to Victoria's Secret the next day
• 2:31:57
  and drop $70.00 on a fucking string to go up their asshole.
• 2:32:01
  OK, So what I'm saying is, is you create a value for yourself.
• 2:32:07
  This is my value. This is what I charge for my
• 2:32:10
  services. When you come to me, you come to
• 2:32:12
  me one because you appreciate what ioffer in the world and you
• 2:32:16
  value it. If you do things for free, you
• 2:32:20
  will attract to you people that don't value you.
• 2:32:25
  If you set a price tag on what you do, you eliminate that lower
• 2:32:29
  level group of people and you attract people to you that are
• 2:32:34
  appreciative of what you do. So just as you say I put out
• 2:32:38
  into the world I received back, it's the same thing with putting
• 2:32:41
  about a monetary value on yourself okay in African
• 2:32:46
  spirituality, this place is called the marketplace.
• 2:32:49
  People, spirits Incarnate and reincarnate to come here and do
• 2:32:52
  transactional activity. We there's a price for
• 2:32:55
  everything. Everything has a price in this
• 2:32:58
  reality. There's always an exchange of
• 2:33:00
  energy that has to happen. And when you're doing things for
• 2:33:03
  free all the time, all you're doing is creating more and more
• 2:33:06
  and more karmic debt for people and you are also not pay.
• 2:33:13
  Now if you're if you're a woman, that is a witch and this is not
• 2:33:17
  to offend anyone. If you're a female witch who's
• 2:33:21
  got a husband that makes a lot of money and supports you, and
• 2:33:25
  you are, you have the resources to be able to pay for herbs and
• 2:33:30
  give these things away for free. Because you're a do gooder and
• 2:33:33
  you want to serve and you have the and and and the gods have
• 2:33:37
  given you the means to be able to help other people and that's
• 2:33:41
  your purpose then hey, that's that's all you.
• 2:33:45
  But that's not me. So don't.
• 2:33:47
  I'm not going to. I'm not necessarily going to
• 2:33:49
  judge you even though I tell you you should charge.
• 2:33:52
  I'm not going to judge you if you don't.
• 2:33:54
  If you don't do it, good on you. But don't fucking judge me
• 2:33:58
  because I won't do things for free.
• 2:34:01
  That is completely unfair. That is a very long assumption
• 2:34:04
  and that's also employed. I don't want to do it.
• 2:34:08
  Right, right. My issue is and the spirit, and
• 2:34:13
  it's always been this way, though the spiritual community
• 2:34:16
  is just rife with scam artists. I mean, people are getting taken
• 2:34:23
  for their money all the time. Yeah.
• 2:34:26
  And there are people and there are people that will like, I've
• 2:34:29
  paid, I've put out like 2 grand for a ceremony.
• 2:34:31
  There are people that will do the same ceremony and they won't
• 2:34:34
  charge any less than five grand. But, but if you want to pay
• 2:34:37
  that, you're paying because you want that person to initiate you
• 2:34:42
  and not somebody else that you consider inferior or because
• 2:34:45
  they have a name or something, There are people who charge like
• 2:34:47
  ten, $20,000 for initiation. So, so to everyone who's out
• 2:34:52
  there, the young ones especially, and they're wanting
• 2:34:56
  to go to a Reiki practitioner or a quantum healing practitioner
• 2:35:01
  of some sort, or hire a witch. And here's the other on that,
• 2:35:07
  brings me to another one. What would your advice be to
• 2:35:10
  them is? As far as not losing their
• 2:35:14
  money, so in my tradition we say if it's in your destiny, the
• 2:35:20
  money will come and we say if the Orisha wants you to initiate
• 2:35:25
  their orishas will bring you the money.
• 2:35:27
  And I hear that said every single day.
• 2:35:30
  And guess what? If the Orishas want you to be in
• 2:35:32
  the tradition, you will get the money, Period.
• 2:35:34
  There is no question about it. The money will come into your
• 2:35:37
  hands. And the question is, when you
• 2:35:38
  get the money into your hands, are you going to follow through
• 2:35:41
  with your commitment? Are you going to do what you
• 2:35:42
  told the Arecius you're going to do?
• 2:35:44
  Are you going to use it on something else?
• 2:35:46
  You're going to buy a car. So when we're when I I believe
• 2:35:50
  in the spiritual world, I am a firm believer in the spiritual
• 2:35:53
  world. I'm also a firm believer that
• 2:35:55
  you are manifesting your reality.
• 2:35:57
  So when the spirit says don't worry, we've got your back, you
• 2:36:03
  will have the money, It will come, then it, then it will
• 2:36:10
  come. You have to have faith.
• 2:36:11
  You have to have trust, and you just have to keep doing what
• 2:36:14
  you're doing Until that, until your ship comes in and your ship
• 2:36:17
  comes in and you find out this is the person that's supposed to
• 2:36:21
  initiate me. This is the reason why I'm doing
• 2:36:23
  it. This is why the Spirit is
• 2:36:25
  leading this, leading me this way.
• 2:36:27
  Now I have the money to do it. It will all fall into place for
• 2:36:30
  you. But you have to trust that these
• 2:36:34
  things are going to manifest for you.
• 2:36:36
  So I wouldn't be stressed out about.
• 2:36:37
  And if you if you don't have it right now, you could have it
• 2:36:40
  tomorrow. You have no idea.
• 2:36:42
  You have no reason. You have no idea how that's
• 2:36:44
  going to come to you and. So just OK, so so this will make
• 2:36:53
  it clear. Here's an here's another way of
• 2:36:56
  asking this same question. Do you can you?
• 2:37:00
  OK, do you think? A witch can guarantee her work.
• 2:37:09
  You mean like 100% all of the time?
• 2:37:12
  Like my witch, my my witchcraft works one. 100 I'm going to pay
• 2:37:16
  you $50.00 to do a love spell for me, Ryan.
• 2:37:21
  Are you going to guarantee your work?
• 2:37:24
  You mean am I going to give you your $50 back if it doesn't
• 2:37:27
  happen, right? Absolutely not.
• 2:37:29
  Because because you paid. So you pay for my time, you pay
• 2:37:34
  for my efforts. You did not.
• 2:37:36
  But I will. But see, here's the thing about
• 2:37:37
  me. I would never guarantee my shit
• 2:37:41
  100%. Anybody.
• 2:37:42
  There are people who will guarantee their work, but the
• 2:37:47
  world is a complex place and there are plenty.
• 2:37:55
  It's a art and a science. Actually, it's more scientific
• 2:37:58
  than an art because you can make really, really ugly magic and it
• 2:38:01
  can still work. And it depends on.
• 2:38:05
  All the parties involved, yeah. So like, if you're if you come
• 2:38:09
  to me and you say I really I, I, I'm, I've been dating this guy
• 2:38:14
  and he won't leave me alone. And I need you to cast a spell
• 2:38:18
  that's going to break the bonds, break the energy between me and
• 2:38:21
  him so that I can move on with my life.
• 2:38:23
  And I say, OK, well, I can do that for, you know, cord cutting
• 2:38:26
  or something. Like whatever it is that I do
• 2:38:28
  and I go and do that and then you get lonely and you text the
• 2:38:37
  person are there are you don't block their number so they can't
• 2:38:41
  reach you or you don't block them on Facebook.
• 2:38:42
  And you if you don't do your part, obviously you wasted
• 2:38:46
  $50.00 and you wasted my well you didn't waste my time because
• 2:38:49
  you paid for it. But I'm saying you wasted your
• 2:38:51
  money and you didn't follow through on the intention of
• 2:38:54
  getting this person out of your life.
• 2:38:56
  It all comes back on the person that's paying the money or
• 2:38:58
  casting the spell or wait, wait, hold on the individual person
• 2:39:02
  who's casting a spell for themselves or paying an
• 2:39:05
  individual to cast a spell. Because in voodoo the in the
• 2:39:10
  voodoo tradition the the weight or responsibility or the karma
• 2:39:15
  doesn't come back on the practitioner that does the
• 2:39:17
  magic. It always comes back on the
• 2:39:19
  person that set the intention that wanted it done.
• 2:39:23
  Always. So even if I, even if I was an
• 2:39:27
  evil sorcerer that decided to conjure up all kinds of evil
• 2:39:31
  entities to go and knock somebody off and somebody died,
• 2:39:34
  it still wouldn't be on me because I'm not the person that
• 2:39:39
  paid to have that done. It's like being a spiritual
• 2:39:42
  hitman. It's like, hey, you, you want to
• 2:39:45
  pay me 10 grand to kill somebody?
• 2:39:48
  Because if you're going to, if you're going to pay somebody to
• 2:39:50
  actually, you know, murder somebody, it's probably going to
• 2:39:54
  be expensive. I'm just saying that it's going
• 2:39:56
  to be expensive, right? Because you're you're putting a
• 2:39:59
  lot on the line. You're putting a lot on the
• 2:40:01
  line. You know, the good thing about
• 2:40:04
  magic is nobody can prove that you actually did it, and nobody
• 2:40:07
  believes that magic works. They'll be like, oh, that's just
• 2:40:09
  a coincidence, right? So it's like the safest way to
• 2:40:11
  knock somebody off is to pay somebody to do it with magic.
• 2:40:14
  I know I'm. I I That son is laughing about
• 2:40:18
  it. But alleged, right?
• 2:40:20
  Alleged. Allegedly.
• 2:40:23
  My magic will do something. The magic still doesn't.
• 2:40:26
  The karmic backlash does not come on me.
• 2:40:30
  It goes on the person who paid for it.
• 2:40:34
  And that's the traditional idea. You know, you can pay me to do
• 2:40:37
  whatever you want, but it's not my problem.
• 2:40:40
  I know I have no emotional investment in it.
• 2:40:42
  I'm not karmically tied. There's no karmic ties between
• 2:40:46
  you and that person. Those are your karmic ties.
• 2:40:49
  You just paid me to come in and chop it, then whatever happens
• 2:40:53
  happens. But I would never guarantee my
• 2:40:57
  work. I I if I've done spiritual work
• 2:40:59
  for people and it has been successful, I do not do
• 2:41:02
  spiritual work for people hardly ever.
• 2:41:05
  Maybe once a year or twice a year, because nobody asked me
• 2:41:08
  for spells. But usually they're close to me
• 2:41:10
  if I am doing it. So to be honest with you, the
• 2:41:13
  only spells that I have cast for people have been for people that
• 2:41:18
  came to me and gotten a reading from me, have been in some kind
• 2:41:22
  of situation where they really needed help.
• 2:41:25
  And I said, you know what, you paid me for this consultation.
• 2:41:29
  I'm going to do the spiritual working for you and I'm not
• 2:41:32
  going to charge you. That's where the that's where my
• 2:41:36
  charity work comes in. I'm not going to charge you to
• 2:41:39
  do this particular working. But if you want to tip me, send
• 2:41:44
  me a tip, right. So they are Pay for the candle,
• 2:41:48
  pay for the materials. I'll put my time into it for
• 2:41:51
  free. And people have given me money
• 2:41:54
  to buy a candle, to buy oil, to do whatever it is or offerings
• 2:41:57
  or whatever it is. And I've done the thing but
• 2:42:00
  that, you know, I'm not a, I'm not a witch for hire.
• 2:42:04
  I don't advertise myself as such and I have it's people that do
• 2:42:09
  advertise spell work. It's just like.
• 2:42:13
  I I advertise it as a witch for hire.
• 2:42:16
  I don't. I wouldn't do it.
• 2:42:18
  All that much. But I do advertise the service.
• 2:42:22
  Well, the other thing is that I'm an I'm an ethical, I'm, I'm
• 2:42:27
  very, very ethical. I have my own.
• 2:42:30
  So here's another thing. I want to put this out there for
• 2:42:33
  young witches. If there are young witches
• 2:42:35
  listening that are just getting started in this practice, I'm
• 2:42:39
  going to suggest this is where you start.
• 2:42:42
  The first thing you need to do is you need to sit down with a
• 2:42:45
  piece of paper and a pen, and you need to write down what you
• 2:42:48
  believe. What do you believe?
• 2:42:50
  What do you believe in? What do you actually believe?
• 2:42:53
  Not the stuff that you've heard on TikTok.
• 2:42:55
  Not stuff you've read in book Like what?
• 2:42:57
  What are what are you willing to be crucified upside down for?
• 2:43:02
  And that is, you need to write down your beliefs.
• 2:43:05
  Make it very clear what your core beliefs are.
• 2:43:07
  Okay, After you write down what your core beliefs are, you might
• 2:43:11
  say, well, I believe in the afterlife and I believe in
• 2:43:13
  reincarnation and that's it. Okay.
• 2:43:14
  It's fine. If you want to run on that.
• 2:43:16
  That's two beliefs. Or if you want to write down I
• 2:43:18
  believe in the power of the universe or God or the Great
• 2:43:20
  Spirit and that's it. Fine.
• 2:43:22
  You got to have some. You got to have something to
• 2:43:24
  work with, right? After you do that, you need to
• 2:43:27
  write down what your morals and ethics and principles are.
• 2:43:30
  You need to write down what you're willing to do and what
• 2:43:33
  you're not willing to do. You need to decide for yourself
• 2:43:35
  what you are willing to do, like how deep you're willing to go.
• 2:43:40
  Because you need to know that before you get involved in all
• 2:43:43
  this shit, before you step into an initiation room, before you
• 2:43:47
  start making commitments or telling people you're going to
• 2:43:49
  do this or do that, you have to decide what it is, where your
• 2:43:53
  limits are. You need to have a soft
• 2:43:56
  boundaries and hard boundaries. Those are things that you need
• 2:43:58
  to figure out before you ever do anything.
• 2:44:02
  I agree because you can't change your mind later and you also
• 2:44:09
  can't find yourself into find yourself in a circumstance where
• 2:44:13
  now suddenly you're having an existential crisis and a whole
• 2:44:16
  crisis over here about an ethical, moral place.
• 2:44:20
  So like for me as an example, I say I am not going to cast love
• 2:44:24
  magic for anybody, Nothing romantic or love relate.
• 2:44:28
  I absolutely refuse to do any kind of love spells because I
• 2:44:33
  find them to be unethical. I I find it unethical that
• 2:44:37
  you're turning to the spiritual world, Angel or demon or other,
• 2:44:41
  to try to get somebody to fall in love with you.
• 2:44:43
  And that's not a natural thing, because magic is about making
• 2:44:47
  unnatural things happen. Let's be really fucking clear
• 2:44:50
  about it. But we practice magic.
• 2:44:53
  There's few practitioners that can control someone else's will.
• 2:45:01
  Sorry. I mean, I I maybe or maybe not.
• 2:45:04
  I, I, I kind of agree. Don't disagree.
• 2:45:06
  If you're one of those really unconscious people walking
• 2:45:09
  around on the street that has no spirituality at all, like when
• 2:45:13
  you said one of those like blank people that that you might be
• 2:45:16
  able to manipulate that kind. Of person.
• 2:45:19
  But you can't manipulate somebody who has a very strong
• 2:45:22
  ego, or someone who's resistant, or has some kind of internal
• 2:45:26
  spiritual compass that tells them this is right, this is
• 2:45:29
  wrong. So what I'm trying to say is, is
• 2:45:34
  that I just wouldn't do it. I don't feel comfortable doing
• 2:45:38
  it. I don't think it's ethical.
• 2:45:40
  Now, other people might feel that it is, and they do that
• 2:45:44
  kind of work and they might make a lot of money off of it.
• 2:45:46
  Great. I'm not going to make money off
• 2:45:48
  of that. I don't want to do that.
• 2:45:53
  So you need to, you need to figure out what the hell you
• 2:45:56
  believe and you need to find out.
• 2:45:57
  You need to figure out what your morals are, because at some
• 2:46:01
  point in time you are going to be tested, you are going to be
• 2:46:04
  hit or come up against some kind of interface where you're going
• 2:46:08
  to have to make these kinds of choices.
• 2:46:12
  You know, I think you need to ask around too.
• 2:46:14
  I mean, if you're getting ready to hire a practitioner, be it a
• 2:46:17
  Reiki practitioner, be it a witch for hire, massage
• 2:46:22
  therapist, whoever, life coach, I think you need to try to find
• 2:46:26
  other people that have gone to them.
• 2:46:28
  Oh absolutely. People are way too trusting and
• 2:46:32
  way too naive. They just like, oh, I like this
• 2:46:35
  person. I'm sure they get cast a spell.
• 2:46:37
  For me and mediums and and it's like, it's just so easy to get
• 2:46:43
  taken. So yeah, I mean, I've been
• 2:46:47
  taken. I'm not going to lie.
• 2:46:49
  I've been taken. I am lucky enough to be able to
• 2:46:54
  read people and I know if you're fake.
• 2:46:58
  I know if you're fake, well here's the thing though, The
• 2:47:01
  thing is that I'm really self aware and I'm self aware about
• 2:47:04
  the shit My my shit and the stuff, the good qualities and
• 2:47:08
  the bad qualities and everything else.
• 2:47:10
  And I have paid $200 for a reading and the reading
• 2:47:15
  consisted of. I can e-mail this person after I
• 2:47:17
  pay my $200.00 and ask them two questions and they will respond
• 2:47:21
  to me via e-mail answering my two questions for 200 dollars,
• 2:47:26
  $100 a question, minimum 2 questions.
• 2:47:28
  I would have never done that. I did.
• 2:47:33
  The reason the reason why is because I wanted to find out
• 2:47:37
  what this person had to say. I valued that practitioner
• 2:47:42
  enough to pay the money because that's what that person placed
• 2:47:46
  as their price tag. That is the value they put on
• 2:47:49
  their time. I emailed the next day.
• 2:47:52
  I got an e-mail response back and had a voice message in it
• 2:47:56
  that was 30 seconds long. They answered both questions.
• 2:47:59
  They answered very, very simply, matter of fact, and they just
• 2:48:02
  said exactly how they felt And that was it.
• 2:48:04
  And then the last five seconds of that message was well, I hope
• 2:48:08
  that helps you out. If you ever need anything else,
• 2:48:10
  you know where to find me. But I paid for it.
• 2:48:15
  But I paid for it because I valued it for the same reason
• 2:48:19
  why I value buying a decent pair of shoes but I don't value
• 2:48:23
  looking nice. I will wear shit tshirts and
• 2:48:26
  sweatpants every single day of the week, and I don't care what
• 2:48:29
  kind of shirt or pants I buy, they got to be cheap.
• 2:48:32
  The sweatpants are like $8, and I will, and I have a closet full
• 2:48:37
  of sweatpants because I refuse to buy jeans, but I will buy a
• 2:48:40
  nice pair of tennis shoes because I care about the comfort
• 2:48:43
  I have when I'm walking. We all put a different value on
• 2:48:48
  things, and it's up to each individual person to decide
• 2:48:53
  whether or not somebody's worth paying for.
• 2:48:55
  And it's always disappointing when you thought somebody was
• 2:48:57
  worth paying for it and then they weren't worth paying for.
• 2:49:02
  But that's always on you. Like, here's the thing, like, I
• 2:49:05
  had some girl come to me and book a reading with me.
• 2:49:08
  The reason why she booked a reading with me is because her
• 2:49:10
  sister got a reading for me and she hated the reading I gave
• 2:49:13
  her. Wow.
• 2:49:17
  Yeah. And so this sister came to me to
• 2:49:21
  get a reading because she knew that what I told her sister was
• 2:49:26
  true, even though her sister didn't like it.
• 2:49:29
  So she so she she, she said, well, I got to go check this guy
• 2:49:33
  out. I want to find out what this guy
• 2:49:35
  has to say. And so, and The thing is, is
• 2:49:39
  that if you're a spiritual practitioner, people will pay
• 2:49:43
  you because they like you and because they believe that you
• 2:49:45
  can produce the results that they want.
• 2:49:47
  That's the only reason someone's going to come to you.
• 2:49:51
  But there's a lot of gullible people out there.
• 2:49:55
  A lot. And if you're smart enough to
• 2:49:59
  make the money off of people, like, I'm not even going to say
• 2:50:02
  her name because she's not even worth the time of day or the
• 2:50:04
  mention. But, you know, making
• 2:50:06
  bulletproof soap. Yeah, you, you, you know, you
• 2:50:11
  use this soap, you'll never get hit by a bullet selling to
• 2:50:15
  selling to a particular community.
• 2:50:17
  Yeah, but I mean, bulletproof soap.
• 2:50:19
  Really. And you're going to charge $100
• 2:50:21
  for a bar of soap. Bulletproof soap.
• 2:50:23
  Wow. Interesting.
• 2:50:25
  And are you going to guarantee that work?
• 2:50:27
  It's guaranteed. Is it guaranteed?
• 2:50:30
  And I'm like, wow, that's some balls.
• 2:50:33
  I mean, that's some balls. That that is.
• 2:50:36
  And you know that's the manifest and shit right there.
• 2:50:41
  Hey, you know what? Well, here's the thing.
• 2:50:43
  Here's the thing. Maybe.
• 2:50:44
  Anyone got shot using her soap? Not yet so.
• 2:50:48
  Maybe that's the question we need to be asked, right.
• 2:50:51
  Well, that's that's really the question.
• 2:50:53
  Is it? So I mean maybe and maybe it's
• 2:50:57
  it's it's a combined effort. Maybe it's her conjurations,
• 2:51:00
  maybe it's a particular herbs that she used.
• 2:51:02
  Maybe it's the power of the spirits that walk with her that
• 2:51:05
  charge it up. Maybe it is the fact that when
• 2:51:08
  that person does wash with that soap, they reinforce the
• 2:51:11
  intention that they're not going to get shot.
• 2:51:14
  I mean my my rooster feet that I'm known for, a lot of people
• 2:51:20
  have me consecrate them for protection so they can hang them
• 2:51:23
  in their vehicles. Their vehicles won't get stolen.
• 2:51:29
  To my knowledge, no one's ever had a vehicle stolen.
• 2:51:33
  So you know, they. I don't know.
• 2:51:37
  I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.
• 2:51:40
  All I know is that if you do something for a long time, you
• 2:51:43
  should get better at it, not worse at it.
• 2:51:46
  And if you if you don't know how to do something and you Start
• 2:51:49
  learning how to do it, and maybe a year in two years, three years
• 2:51:52
  in, you still can't master it. You still can't get at it.
• 2:51:55
  It means it's not for you. It means you don't need to be
• 2:51:57
  doing it. Doesn't mean you need to spend
• 2:51:59
  any more time doing this. It means, guess what, kid You're
• 2:52:02
  never going to be able to do that.
• 2:52:04
  It's just not in your path. Just let it go.
• 2:52:06
  Walk away from it. There are people that come to
• 2:52:08
  me. I've been trying to study tarot
• 2:52:10
  for, like years, and I just don't get it.
• 2:52:12
  I'm like, what else? So what else have you done?
• 2:52:16
  Did you try rooms? Did you try Oracle cards?
• 2:52:19
  Did you try bones, shells, Casting lots?
• 2:52:21
  Did you try something else? Oh, no.
• 2:52:25
  Well, that's on you. You weren't imaginative enough
• 2:52:28
  to to, you know. They just make it unnecessarily
• 2:52:32
  complicated. I don't know.
• 2:52:34
  I said The thing about me is because of the way I was raised,
• 2:52:37
  I was raised in such a box. Yeah, I was raised in such a
• 2:52:41
  box, such a trap that when I got out of that trap and guess what,
• 2:52:46
  I didn't even want to get out of the trap.
• 2:52:47
  The door was open. I could have walked down
• 2:52:49
  anytime. That's the thing.
• 2:52:51
  That's the thing. I was totally in a cult.
• 2:52:53
  I was born and raised in the cult.
• 2:52:55
  They had me wrapped up hook, line and sinker.
• 2:52:58
  Even when they kicked me out, I wanted to go back temporarily.
• 2:53:03
  And what I'm saying is, is that we create these boundaries in
• 2:53:07
  our own mind. We are the people that create
• 2:53:10
  the boundaries. Well, I did a whole thing.
• 2:53:12
  I did a whole thing on that. It's called being comfortable in
• 2:53:15
  your trauma and spirit actually brought that to me in a vision,
• 2:53:22
  in a dream, so to speak, of a dog.
• 2:53:25
  This dog was in front of me and was wagging its tail and it was
• 2:53:29
  so happy to see me and I was went to the dog.
• 2:53:33
  To greet the dog and pet the dog.
• 2:53:35
  And I noticed that it's collar was embedded in its neck.
• 2:53:40
  You know, like when they grow and you don't change their
• 2:53:42
  collar. But the dog was wagging its tail
• 2:53:46
  and greeting me because it had become comfortable within its
• 2:53:50
  trauma. Oh yeah, absolutely.
• 2:53:53
  I'm totally comfortable in my traumas.
• 2:53:55
  I will call. I So the thing I asked myself
• 2:53:58
  yesterday, I asked myself, yes, I got out of my car because I
• 2:54:01
  decided I was going to go get some Chinese food because I
• 2:54:04
  wanted some hot food, but I didn't want to cook anything and
• 2:54:07
  didn't really have anything at home.
• 2:54:08
  So I said, you know what, I'm going to stop by and get some
• 2:54:10
  wonton soup and some, what do you call them, some egg rolls
• 2:54:14
  that'll satisfy me tonight? And I was thinking about all
• 2:54:16
  this stuff and I got out of the car and I thought to myself, God
• 2:54:20
  damn it, I'm doing the same thing.
• 2:54:23
  I'm talking about emotionally, mentally, emotionally, mentally,
• 2:54:26
  how I'm functioning in the world.
• 2:54:27
  I'm like, I'm doing the same God damn thing I always have
• 2:54:31
  thinking about a particular situation and I'm like all can I
• 2:54:37
  break this cycle? This cycle is not serving me at
• 2:54:42
  all. And I'm the only person that's
• 2:54:45
  running on this treadmill. And usually it has to do with
• 2:54:49
  relationships. It usually always has to do with
• 2:54:53
  relationships. I'm like, why?
• 2:54:55
  Why am I repeating this cycle? You know what?
• 2:54:59
  When I when I got sober, it was easier to see the cycles.
• 2:55:03
  The cycles became clear because when you're an alcoholic or when
• 2:55:07
  you're doing drugs actively in addiction, like, I used to find
• 2:55:10
  myself getting into relationships, being miserable
• 2:55:14
  in relationships, getting out of relationships.
• 2:55:16
  And after I was out of it, asking myself, how did that
• 2:55:20
  happen? How did I get into it?
• 2:55:22
  How did I get, why did I stay there?
• 2:55:24
  And it was like a mystery to me until I got sober.
• 2:55:28
  Then after I got sober, I'm like, oh wow, yeah, I'm really
• 2:55:31
  fucked up. And so I'm making decisions
• 2:55:33
  based on knee jerk reactions and traumas and triggers, and I'm
• 2:55:38
  staying in these relationships for the same reasons.
• 2:55:41
  So the longer I've been sober, the easier it's been for me to
• 2:55:46
  be like, Oh no, I recognize that feeling.
• 2:55:50
  I recognize that thought. I know where that thought will
• 2:55:52
  lead me. I know where that feeling will
• 2:55:54
  lead me. He'll lead me back into the same
• 2:55:57
  circle. And that's, that is the key,
• 2:56:00
  Yeah, because I talked to people about you've got to be able to
• 2:56:04
  flag yourself in order to change behaviors.
• 2:56:07
  You did not become those behaviors did not happen to you
• 2:56:12
  overnight. They were over a period of time
• 2:56:17
  instilled on you based on your environment and dynamics.
• 2:56:21
  You were involved in changing those behaviors.
• 2:56:25
  It's the same way. It's time.
• 2:56:27
  It's changing your dynamics. It's changing.
• 2:56:30
  Yeah. And this is where people get
• 2:56:32
  stuck or this is where people get fucked up.
• 2:56:34
  Yeah, what what fucks you up is you can remove the substance and
• 2:56:40
  you can change the environment. But if you were using the
• 2:56:43
  substance, or you're in the environment, or you were groomed
• 2:56:45
  a certain way growing up, then walking away from the
• 2:56:49
  environment or the person or whatever action you're trying to
• 2:56:53
  get rid of won't change the way your brain functions unless
• 2:56:58
  there is a concerted effort in order to restructure as called.
• 2:57:04
  What do they call that? They call that neuroplasticity.
• 2:57:07
  Your brain can change, but you have to force it to change.
• 2:57:12
  And it's new habits. You have to, yeah.
• 2:57:14
  Because it once you take a habit away, you have to replace it
• 2:57:18
  with something you have to. Because why?
• 2:57:21
  Nature abhors a vacuum, and it's something's gonna fill that
• 2:57:24
  space. So I was asking myself the
• 2:57:26
  question, man, why am I doing that?
• 2:57:31
  And I'm not even gonna lie to you.
• 2:57:33
  The last time I got the last initiation I received after
• 2:57:37
  halfway through the initiation, it was very difficult.
• 2:57:39
  I'm not going to lie. These initiation processes that
• 2:57:42
  they put you through in these ATR's and these diaspora
• 2:57:45
  traditions, they are meant to break you.
• 2:57:47
  They are not. They're meant to break you.
• 2:57:49
  That's the purpose of it. The purpose of it is spiritual
• 2:57:53
  growth through cracking your head open like an egg.
• 2:57:57
  And halfway through I said why am I doing this again?
• 2:58:04
  Yeah. Why am I here?
• 2:58:06
  Why did I feel like it was necessary to go through this to
• 2:58:10
  to to cross, cross the ocean, climb the mountain and slay the
• 2:58:14
  dragon again? And it took, you know, 5
• 2:58:21
  initiations to get there. But eventually I was like, well,
• 2:58:27
  damn, you know? And then I had like, mental
• 2:58:30
  clarity. And I was like, OK, well, I know
• 2:58:34
  why I did this. Like I didn't leave mad or
• 2:58:38
  upset. I left having the experience I
• 2:58:42
  wanted to. Have and you know that that is
• 2:58:43
  the same that is the same type of and I'll call it initiation
• 2:58:49
  that the ancient vulvas went through to become when you
• 2:58:54
  became a a shaman, A vulva, you died and were born again.
• 2:58:58
  Absolutely. So it's the.
• 2:59:00
  Same thing, different. The concept is the person that
• 2:59:05
  comes out of the initiation room is not the person that went in.
• 2:59:09
  There is a there's a process of growth that has to happen where
• 2:59:15
  the person who's initiating you is leading you from one stage of
• 2:59:18
  conscious consciousness to another.
• 2:59:21
  These are, these are all exercises and consciousness, the
• 2:59:24
  consciousness expansion. In Buddhism, they just call them
• 2:59:28
  empowerments. In Reiki, they call them
• 2:59:30
  intunements and we call them initiations because they're
• 2:59:33
  supposed to transform from you. There's something that's
• 2:59:35
  supposed to happen internally if it's done right, right.
• 2:59:41
  If it's done right, there is some kind of self realization
• 2:59:45
  that's going to happen. Last initiation I did was really
• 2:59:49
  hard and I am not doing anymore. And I have.
• 2:59:53
  There's one more. I have one more, one more step
• 2:59:59
  on my journey that I absolutely must complete.
• 3:00:02
  There's no way for me not to get out of it.
• 3:00:06
  I have to become a fully initiated Olorisa.
• 3:00:09
  I have to become a priest of my Orissa.
• 3:00:12
  That that's something that has to happen for me, OK?
• 3:00:16
  Because I made the commitment to spirit that I was going to do
• 3:00:19
  it. I'm going to do it.
• 3:00:20
  I'm not going to back down off of my commitment.
• 3:00:23
  So because I believe when you make promises to the spiritual
• 3:00:26
  world, you really need to fulfill those because that can
• 3:00:29
  backfire on you. Really, really, really bad.
• 3:00:31
  So anyway, the point of what I'm trying to say is, is that after
• 3:00:40
  my last initiation was over, I didn't have the the experience.
• 3:00:49
  I wanted to have the experience. I had the experience, but the
• 3:00:53
  whatever it is that sets you off didn't necessarily hit me.
• 3:00:58
  It hit me after. So I was in my car.
• 3:01:01
  I was driving the next day. I'm like, okay.
• 3:01:04
  Well, I did that. I had that experience.
• 3:01:07
  I can you hear me? Hold on a second.
• 3:01:13
  Can you hear me now? Okay.
• 3:01:16
  My, my headset died on me. So the point is, is that I was
• 3:01:24
  driving home and I'm thinking, I'm thinking about, I'm thinking
• 3:01:29
  about it, thinking about my path.
• 3:01:32
  I'm thinking about all these experiences I've put myself
• 3:01:35
  through and asking myself, why did I do it.
• 3:01:40
  The brain keeps going and going and going.
• 3:01:42
  And then I had this realization. I had a self realization.
• 3:01:48
  And when I had this epiphany about me, myself, not other
• 3:01:54
  people about me, the egg broke. And then the initiation
• 3:02:01
  happened. Then the initiation happened.
• 3:02:03
  Then I received the experience that I went for.
• 3:02:06
  Then I understood myself. I started crying.
• 3:02:09
  I started screaming. I started shaking.
• 3:02:13
  I felt like I was everything in my body was changing.
• 3:02:16
  There was an energetic shift. It was like an anointing.
• 3:02:19
  It was like the Holy Spirit came down.
• 3:02:21
  I had a deliverance moment. It was like the spirit came down
• 3:02:24
  on the crown of my head and just washed over me.
• 3:02:26
  Like someone poured hot oil all over my body.
• 3:02:29
  And I was like, I need to get the fuck off the Interstate
• 3:02:32
  immediately before I crashed my car.
• 3:02:35
  So I got off the Interstate, I pulled into the parking, a
• 3:02:39
  parking lot in the back parking lot someplace.
• 3:02:41
  I don't know. And I sat there and I wept for
• 3:02:46
  15 minutes. There was all kinds of
• 3:02:48
  mechanisms going off in my body to change, change, change,
• 3:02:51
  change. Triggers had been pulled,
• 3:02:54
  released. I had some kind of emotional
• 3:02:56
  release and an emotional release that I had been holding on to
• 3:02:59
  for years, years. And it was the thought that set
• 3:03:05
  me off was so simple and I don't want to get it.
• 3:03:09
  That's a personal gnosis that I had.
• 3:03:11
  I don't have to talk about what happened, why I had it all that
• 3:03:15
  it doesn't matter. What mattered was I received the
• 3:03:21
  experience I was looking to have.
• 3:03:24
  I had to have an emotional release, and I got the emotional
• 3:03:28
  release I needed. I got this information about
• 3:03:30
  myself that I, which made every single dollar and every single
• 3:03:37
  amount of energy and all the time it took to go there, worth
• 3:03:41
  it. Was it worth it?
• 3:03:42
  Absolutely, 100%. Would I do it again?
• 3:03:45
  Yes, because it was only going through that experience that led
• 3:03:49
  to what came next. And so earlier when you were
• 3:03:56
  talking about, like, while you're holding this Angelica,
• 3:03:58
  this Angelica has a very particular it has a purpose, and
• 3:04:02
  its purpose does this right. It's the same thing with
• 3:04:05
  initiations. Why?
• 3:04:07
  You know deep in your heart that doing that is going to be what
• 3:04:10
  gets you to where you need to be, then you should do it.
• 3:04:12
  If you're looking at getting initiated into a practice, just
• 3:04:16
  cause horrible reason to do it. Don't do it.
• 3:04:18
  That's the thing. That's the thing.
• 3:04:21
  That's what it's really about. Yeah, people just want the.
• 3:04:27
  They just need it. They need it to validate
• 3:04:29
  themselves. And that's not.
• 3:04:32
  I don't think that's what it's about.
• 3:04:35
  It's not the. I mean, I'm not.
• 3:04:37
  I'm not making any more money than I was before by being
• 3:04:40
  initiated. Well, and The thing is, you set
• 3:04:43
  yourself up for crap all the time and being initiated.
• 3:04:47
  So, I mean, people are always on you about appropriating this or
• 3:04:54
  that, so you're not doing yourself any favors by doing it.
• 3:05:03
  Yeah. No, I mean, I didn't wake up one
• 3:05:05
  morning and decide it was a good idea for me to put my big
• 3:05:09
  fucking white face in the middle of diaspora traditions, to set
• 3:05:12
  myself up for every indigenous person and every person of color
• 3:05:15
  to call me a con. Is there I and and guess what?
• 3:05:26
  There I I have. The only thing that I have
• 3:05:30
  gained is selfknowledge throughout this process, and it
• 3:05:36
  was worth it. It was worth it though.
• 3:05:38
  It was 100% worth it to go down that road, as hard as that
• 3:05:43
  reason. To do it right.
• 3:05:46
  That is the reason to do it. Because also going through the
• 3:05:49
  initiation process and setting myself up as a bullseye and
• 3:05:53
  having people come after me and going through all of that and
• 3:05:56
  having all of that, it revealed deep, dark places inside of me
• 3:06:03
  that needed to be literally scraped out like a root.
• 3:06:06
  Now I I reexamined myself and had to ask myself hard questions
• 3:06:12
  that I thought I had answered 20 years ago.
• 3:06:17
  It brought me back around to actually having to reexamine who
• 3:06:22
  I am because. And you need to do that because
• 3:06:24
  you change. You do.
• 3:06:26
  Yeah, you change. You you you shift energetically,
• 3:06:30
  Your brain changes, your perception of the world changes,
• 3:06:33
  and your reactions to the world change.
• 3:06:36
  I'm 100% happy with what I got. I'm not trying to, and I'm not
• 3:06:41
  trying to be anything either. Like I said, the reason why I
• 3:06:46
  did all of this stuff was for selfknowledge, not for somebody
• 3:06:48
  else. Right, right.
• 3:06:51
  I had nobody to impress. That's the reason I.
• 3:06:54
  I am on my path as well. And I mean no, there's no one
• 3:06:58
  that's going to initiate anyone into quantum occultism.
• 3:07:01
  That's not ever going to happen. Maybe you can do the.
• 3:07:04
  Maybe I maybe I can start a new religion.
• 3:07:08
  I I don't think so. But but it's it's the same thing
• 3:07:13
  though it is the same thing. Creating your reality.
• 3:07:19
  Creating your reality for you and no one else.
• 3:07:25
  I want to say every single person that is in this, OK?
• 3:07:32
  And I'm talking about the people that listen to me regularly and
• 3:07:34
  listen to you regularly, our followers or anybody new that
• 3:07:38
  comes out. What this is really all about,
• 3:07:40
  going back to the quantum all the way through all of the
• 3:07:43
  stuff, is you have to decide what kind of experience you want
• 3:07:50
  to have. What is the experience you're
• 3:07:53
  trying to get out of it. I ask that.
• 3:07:54
  I ask that question to people that come to me to get readings,
• 3:07:58
  because this here's The funny thing is, when people come to me
• 3:08:02
  to get readings, they're always coming to me for one of two
• 3:08:05
  things. One, ancestor work because they
• 3:08:07
  don't know where to begin and they don't know how to do it.
• 3:08:09
  Our #2, they're trying to figure out their spiritual path.
• 3:08:12
  They've gotten stuck in some kind of way and they need
• 3:08:14
  somebody to nudge them and they know that I'm going to do that
• 3:08:17
  for them. So most of my work revolves
• 3:08:19
  around that. It's not like relationship shit.
• 3:08:23
  And I asked them, or when they're talking about their
• 3:08:29
  magic, or they've been practicing witchcraft and
• 3:08:31
  they're trying to figure out what they need to do next, I
• 3:08:33
  said, well, what's the fucking point?
• 3:08:36
  What's your end game like? What?
• 3:08:38
  What? What do you want?
• 3:08:39
  Like, where do you see yourself like, by doing all this stuff?
• 3:08:43
  What are you trying to become, Right?
• 3:08:45
  Right. What kind of experience do you
• 3:08:48
  want to have? Why do you do any?
• 3:08:50
  And and few of them have any idea they've never even thought
• 3:08:55
  about it. 100% of them. Sit there and look at me and you
• 3:09:02
  know, I say what you I say everything.
• 3:09:07
  You say everything you think, everything you do, how you move
• 3:09:10
  through space and the choices that you make, what you're
• 3:09:12
  trying to attract yourself, what kind of energy you're putting
• 3:09:15
  off the people, places and things you're interacting with,
• 3:09:17
  that all does something. It's all creating your
• 3:09:20
  experience. What kind of experience are you
• 3:09:23
  trying to have? Who?
• 3:09:26
  And that is also very intimately connected with who do you want
• 3:09:30
  to be? Well, that's what I say, You
• 3:09:32
  know, they'll be like, well Nana, how do I start?
• 3:09:35
  It's always, that's always how do I begin?
• 3:09:38
  I'm like, OK, it's very simple, decide what you want, what
• 3:09:42
  you're in game. Once you decide that everything
• 3:09:46
  that comes in front of you that does not take you to that point
• 3:09:50
  have nothing to do with it. Period.
• 3:09:55
  End of end of story. If something comes to you and
• 3:09:59
  you look at it, this is going to get me here.
• 3:10:02
  Fine. I take that.
• 3:10:04
  If this is not going to get me here, I don't want it.
• 3:10:10
  Same reason why I did initiations same thing.
• 3:10:12
  Yeah, because I realized that that was the sacrifice I had to
• 3:10:16
  make. The time, energy and effort and
• 3:10:18
  money is that. That was the experience I wanted
• 3:10:21
  to have because I wanted to be something.
• 3:10:23
  There was something I was trying to become.
• 3:10:25
  And now I'm it, right? Right.
• 3:10:29
  I'm not saying I'm done. I'm not done on my spiritual
• 3:10:32
  path. I got a long way to go.
• 3:10:34
  You're going to be on your path until you die, because your
• 3:10:36
  spiritual path is your life. They're not separate from one
• 3:10:40
  another. They're the same thing.
• 3:10:44
  Because if you do the kind of spirituality that we do, I mean,
• 3:10:48
  I I fucking eat, sleep, breathe, shit, piss, and come
• 3:10:52
  spirituality and I'm in this stuff.
• 3:10:56
  It's what I do for a living. Whether I'm doing sex work,
• 3:10:59
  which is a form of sexual shamanism for me, or whether or
• 3:11:02
  not I'm sitting trying to help someone figure out where the
• 3:11:05
  hell they are in life and how to get to where they are.
• 3:11:07
  It's all the same thing to me. It's the same thing.
• 3:11:12
  It's helping people figure out who they are.
• 3:11:15
  And it's exhausting. It's exhausting.
• 3:11:19
  It is exhausting. It is.
• 3:11:23
  It's maybe for you, it's not. For me, it's a struggle.
• 3:11:28
  It is. I'm not going to lie, it is a
• 3:11:30
  struggle. And it's probably because I
• 3:11:31
  haven't been able to figure out how to regulate my energy yet.
• 3:11:35
  Well, you're just still holding on to other people's crap.
• 3:11:38
  That's the key. Yeah.
• 3:11:40
  I'm getting better about it. I'm, I'm.
• 3:11:43
  I'm actually. Well, it's so funny for me
• 3:11:45
  because, like, if if I'm doing the sex work thing, I am
• 3:11:48
  completely disconnected from what I do.
• 3:11:51
  I am. I am.
• 3:11:52
  I'm a master at what I do, and I can say I'm a master at what I
• 3:12:00
  do in that realm. I'm a fucking sex God in that
• 3:12:05
  realm when I do my work. But I haven't figured out how to
• 3:12:12
  do that same turn on, turn off, disconnect when you leave.
• 3:12:17
  When when I hang up the phone, I'm not thinking about you.
• 3:12:22
  I do. Yeah, I do.
• 3:12:24
  I think maybe it's because I care too much about other
• 3:12:26
  people. People might say, yeah, that
• 3:12:29
  Ryan guy, man, what an asshole. He doesn't give a fuck about
• 3:12:32
  anybody. No, that's absolutely not true.
• 3:12:35
  I have to pretend like I don't give a fuck, but I care about
• 3:12:38
  everybody. One of the first pieces of great
• 3:12:43
  advice I got when I really started.
• 3:12:48
  Taking clients and really getting into reading people,
• 3:12:52
  helping people. One of.
• 3:12:53
  The best pieces of advice I got was the first thing you need to
• 3:12:57
  understand is you cannot help everybody.
• 3:13:02
  Can't get it out of your mind right now.
• 3:13:06
  Don't even think about it. That person's going to come to
• 3:13:10
  you. You're going to do what you can
• 3:13:11
  for them at that moment. And then they are going to leave
• 3:13:15
  and it is out of your control what happens once that person
• 3:13:20
  leaves. And once I learned and accepted
• 3:13:24
  that I didn't. I don't sit around and worry
• 3:13:28
  about people. I don't.
• 3:13:29
  People might think I'm cold and and I sometimes I feel a little
• 3:13:34
  cold. People get irritated with me
• 3:13:36
  when they message me and I'm like, I don't need to be
• 3:13:41
  involved in that. I'm not.
• 3:13:43
  I'm not going to. I'm not going to do that.
• 3:13:46
  I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to do this or that
• 3:13:49
  because of whatever reason. Maybe it's to protect my own
• 3:13:52
  energy. It's okay to say.
• 3:13:56
  No, it's okay not to help everyone.
• 3:14:01
  Yo, let me tell you something. The occult and witchcraft and
• 3:14:09
  magic and all this other stuff that we do, man, it's a magnet
• 3:14:14
  for people with mental illness. There's a lot of people walking
• 3:14:17
  around on the street that practices stuff that needs
• 3:14:20
  serious help therapeutically and even medications and this
• 3:14:28
  particular stuff draws super empathic people and that are
• 3:14:35
  codependent. Codependency run rampant in
• 3:14:40
  these spiritual practices. And if if you don't have
• 3:14:43
  boundaries, if if see, The thing is my parents didn't give me any
• 3:14:49
  advantages in life. They never taught me how to have
• 3:14:51
  proper healthy boundaries with other people.
• 3:14:53
  That was not something they taught me.
• 3:14:55
  That was something I had to learn and I and I learned
• 3:14:58
  boundaries as a sex worker. That's where I learned my
• 3:15:01
  boundaries. Not a great place to Start
• 3:15:03
  learning boundaries. But definitely a place where you
• 3:15:07
  would need them, right? Because out of necessity.
• 3:15:11
  Out of. Out of extreme necessity.
• 3:15:13
  Yeah. I had to learn how to say no.
• 3:15:17
  I had to learn how to say no. You can't talk to me like that.
• 3:15:21
  No, you can't touch me like that.
• 3:15:24
  No, this is my session. You're going to do what I say.
• 3:15:28
  I'm going to facilitate the healing my way.
• 3:15:31
  This isn't you showing up demanding of me.
• 3:15:33
  I'm not your whore, right? I'm like a doctor.
• 3:15:37
  People, I mean. Seriously, stand up for
• 3:15:41
  everybody. And I mean, sometimes I don't
• 3:15:43
  even know these people. Why would I?
• 3:15:45
  Why would I stand up for somebody I don't know?
• 3:15:49
  Here's another issue I've had as a reader people showing up
• 3:15:53
  intoxicated on something. Oh God, absolutely not.
• 3:15:57
  No. I mean, The thing is this, I've,
• 3:15:59
  I've been, there's been two or three times that I've started a
• 3:16:02
  reading, and the person said, you mind if I smoke weed while
• 3:16:05
  we while I do the reading? And I'm like, you know what?
• 3:16:08
  I don't care. I care about that.
• 3:16:10
  And I don't mean that. I mean, and if someone, if
• 3:16:14
  somebody showed up intoxicated for a reading, I'd be like, yo,
• 3:16:18
  come back when you have got your shit together.
• 3:16:21
  Well, I had, I had one show up and they were very but but they
• 3:16:25
  played it off as that was they were on medication or there was
• 3:16:28
  a mental illness or there was some reason, you know.
• 3:16:32
  But I later found out that no, they were high.
• 3:16:34
  They were high, that they were on Something really pissed me
• 3:16:38
  off. I fortunately haven't had it
• 3:16:42
  again. But you need to have your
• 3:16:46
  boundaries. Yeah.
• 3:16:47
  And just like you said, no, I'm not going to read you.
• 3:16:51
  I got so mad one time. The only time I got really,
• 3:16:54
  really super pissed is this I was doing.
• 3:16:58
  So I expect people to like when they call me or I expect them to
• 3:17:02
  be sitting there listening to me with a pen and paper in order to
• 3:17:05
  like, take notes or screen record so that they will
• 3:17:07
  remember the things that come out of my mouth.
• 3:17:11
  The woman answered the phone and she had the phone, you know,
• 3:17:13
  jacked up in the car and she was on the Interstate.
• 3:17:16
  She was driving and she was. And I said, are you going to
• 3:17:19
  pull off so that we can have our reading?
• 3:17:21
  Because I'm not going to talk to you or do this with you driving.
• 3:17:24
  Like that's not how this works. And she said, oh, I'm just doing
• 3:17:27
  this for shits and giggles, you know, I'm just, I just, I'm
• 3:17:30
  here. She was here for the
• 3:17:32
  entertainment. She thought I was.
• 3:17:33
  She thought I was an entertainer.
• 3:17:35
  And I said fuck you. I am not.
• 3:17:38
  I'm a priest. I'm a priest in what I do
• 3:17:43
  because people don't know I do have priesthood.
• 3:17:46
  I'm not going to talk about it. But I said I'm a priest in what
• 3:17:49
  I do. And I said you treat me like you
• 3:17:53
  treat a Catholic priest or a or a rabbi.
• 3:17:57
  You you you scheduled a spiritual consultation.
• 3:18:00
  I help people that need spiritual help and if you came
• 3:18:02
  here for entertainment, fuck you.
• 3:18:04
  I'm not giving your money back and I'm not reading.
• 3:18:06
  And I hung up on her. I would have to you know she she
• 3:18:11
  must have complained to her credit card company.
• 3:18:15
  But at the same time, I was like, you don't even deserve to
• 3:18:18
  talk to me for 5 minutes. I'm not here to entertain you.
• 3:18:21
  I take I I take what I do seriously because I realize that
• 3:18:26
  what I say to people, people are going to make choices.
• 3:18:29
  Like here's the other thing about inexperienced readers on
• 3:18:36
  TikTok doing $5 card pulls. People don't understand that
• 3:18:44
  there are people out there that will leave their husbands
• 3:18:48
  because you tell them to. We'll make decisions to move
• 3:18:51
  cross country because you tell them to.
• 3:18:53
  We'll ask you about never talking to their brother or
• 3:18:57
  their mother again. Like their people will make
• 3:19:00
  decisions that will not only affect them, will affect their
• 3:19:03
  children and their grandchildren and their great grandchildren.
• 3:19:06
  You are taking someone on a totally different path in life
• 3:19:10
  when you give them a reading. That is how important being a
• 3:19:14
  spiritual worker is. You could fuck up someone's
• 3:19:18
  family for generations. Yeah, generations go into.
• 3:19:22
  I had one person try to get me to tell them.
• 3:19:25
  I won't tell you when you're going to die.
• 3:19:27
  I won't tell you when anybody else is going to die.
• 3:19:29
  Even if the spirit lands right in front of me and tells me the
• 3:19:33
  day and the hour, I'm not going to fucking tell you.
• 3:19:37
  Not going to happen. Not going to give you advice
• 3:19:40
  about your money. I'm not going other than just go
• 3:19:44
  get an account. Yeah, I save it.
• 3:19:48
  When it comes to health, I tell you what I see and then I tell
• 3:19:52
  you to go to the doctor and ask about it.
• 3:19:54
  Absolutely. Me too.
• 3:19:55
  Yeah. I mean, and, you know, it's, you
• 3:20:02
  know, and here's the thing, like I tell you where I've where.
• 3:20:05
  I feel like I've, I've helped. I've I've actually helped.
• 3:20:11
  I I I've empowered several women.
• 3:20:14
  When I say several women, I mean more than five, but less than 10
• 3:20:19
  walk out of a really super abusive relationships.
• 3:20:23
  It's how not only get out, but free themselves.
• 3:20:26
  That's not easy to do. People in that position, man,
• 3:20:29
  that's not easy. It's not.
• 3:20:32
  And I want to say that I feel proud of myself for being able
• 3:20:37
  to help those people finally come to terms with the facts.
• 3:20:43
  See, we've been, you've been up since 2:00 AM.
• 3:20:45
  And I've never, I haven't gone to sleep.
• 3:20:47
  So but I'm. I'm yawning over here, but I'm
• 3:20:51
  not yawning at you. I'm.
• 3:20:53
  No, that's fine. I'm starting to get kind of
• 3:20:55
  loopy. Yeah, I'm we're going to have to
• 3:20:57
  like, wrap it up soon. But I, I, we're having such a
• 3:21:00
  great conversation. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna come.
• 3:21:03
  I wanna feel like we've had a full, like we got all the way
• 3:21:06
  around full circle. But The thing is that here's the
• 3:21:11
  other thing, when you wake up in the morning, you have to look in
• 3:21:14
  the mirror and you have to look at yourself in the eye, square
• 3:21:17
  in the eye, and you have to be okay with who you are.
• 3:21:20
  It's it's very, very difficult because that's the thing about
• 3:21:23
  the occult. The occult is about what is
• 3:21:26
  hidden, bringing what is hidden to light or being able to
• 3:21:29
  understand what you can't see or what's in the shadow, what's in
• 3:21:33
  the dark. When you look in the mirror, you
• 3:21:37
  have to look in the mirror and be like, okay.
• 3:21:39
  I feel okay with myself. And if you don't feel okay with
• 3:21:43
  yourself, you need to find out why.
• 3:21:45
  And then you need to actively work on fixing that, fixing how
• 3:21:48
  you feel about yourself. And there's a lot of people
• 3:21:51
  walking around with, wow, a lot of negative self talk, a lot of
• 3:21:57
  negative self talk. And you got to get rid of that.
• 3:22:00
  You have to, you have to eradicate that.
• 3:22:02
  That's. What the shadow work is for, you
• 3:22:05
  know, I I was doing a consult with it with somebody at one
• 3:22:07
  time who was also a certified life coach and they were talking
• 3:22:12
  to me about, well, how? They they didn't.
• 3:22:18
  They didn't. They weren't having much
• 3:22:20
  business, Okay. They weren't comfortable doing
• 3:22:23
  tik toks and putting themselves out there.
• 3:22:25
  And I said, how are you going to coach someone if you are not
• 3:22:32
  able? How are you going to coach
• 3:22:37
  someone to put themselves out there?
• 3:22:40
  If you're not able to do that, you've got to.
• 3:22:43
  Walk your talk. It's not about.
• 3:22:46
  Getting a certificate and putting it on the wall, if
• 3:22:50
  you're you've got in this spiritual community in they
• 3:22:54
  cult, you got to walk the talk. Don't you agree?
• 3:23:00
  Yeah, absolutely. And I've seen it.
• 3:23:02
  I've seen people get on TikTok and have grand expectations
• 3:23:06
  about being a reader or being able to sell their spiritual
• 3:23:08
  products. And they start running into
• 3:23:11
  situations where people criticize them or talk shit
• 3:23:13
  about them or make a video about them or this or that.
• 3:23:16
  And they literally they they it's they spiritually crumble
• 3:23:19
  under the weight of other people's opinions and feelings
• 3:23:23
  and their own self doubt and insecurities.
• 3:23:26
  If you're an insecure person, no, you should not put yourself
• 3:23:30
  out there because you will get ripped apart.
• 3:23:33
  I don't know how many people would be able to tolerate the
• 3:23:36
  amount of abuse I've taken on that I don't think people.
• 3:23:41
  People see me getting attacked, but they didn't see the level of
• 3:23:45
  attacks on a daily basis for a very long time.
• 3:23:47
  And I'm not going to lie to you. It's psychologically fucked me
• 3:23:50
  up. I'm sure it did.
• 3:23:52
  Here's the thing though. And I have to tell you, and you
• 3:23:54
  can take this out. It doesn't matter to me, but I
• 3:23:57
  wanted you to know. I always, always, regardless.
• 3:24:04
  I always knew you were innately good.
• 3:24:08
  I don't know why, I don't know why, but I always knew.
• 3:24:14
  And that's why I always would always unblock you again and
• 3:24:18
  would always reconnect with you again.
• 3:24:20
  Even though I would unconnect, you know, maybe and I would
• 3:24:23
  always come back because. I knew you were innately,
• 3:24:27
  innately good. I just knew it.
• 3:24:30
  I appreciate that. That means a lot to me.
• 3:24:32
  Means a lot. So you.
• 3:24:34
  Already know that about. Know that I appreciate that.
• 3:24:39
  So I believe I'm a good person. I do.
• 3:24:44
  I, I, I I accepted that because I mean you have to like you have
• 3:24:48
  to figure out where you're at and that's that's a big question
• 3:24:52
  that you know, came up for me over and over and over again.
• 3:24:55
  It's like, am I a bad person? Am I bad or am I good?
• 3:24:59
  Am I the enemy or am I? You know what's wrong with me?
• 3:25:04
  What is so wrong with me that makes these people hate me so
• 3:25:09
  much, like hate me so much that they will make 5011 profiles to
• 3:25:13
  continue to come after me from one profile to another.
• 3:25:17
  And I asked myself for a long time, I'm like how?
• 3:25:20
  And then I had to realize, wow, it's what it's that that it's
• 3:25:24
  their problem. It's not my problem.
• 3:25:26
  This cannot they're these people's problems cannot be my
• 3:25:29
  problem. And I am, you know, extremely
• 3:25:34
  unpopular to it's. Weird, because you're very
• 3:25:40
  popular. A lot of people know who you
• 3:25:42
  are, but they may not follow you.
• 3:25:47
  The numbers might not be there, but I think you're way more
• 3:25:51
  popular than you think you are. Well, I mean, TikTok has put a
• 3:25:57
  cap on me because I've been at 17,000.5 for over a year.
• 3:26:03
  They will not allow me to grow. The profile will not grow.
• 3:26:07
  So even if people follow me, the numbers never grow.
• 3:26:11
  So they must follow me and TikTok must have them unfollow
• 3:26:15
  me or whatever it is. But every single day I'm getting
• 3:26:18
  followers and I'm not getting any changes in numbers and I'm
• 3:26:22
  really weird. So really.
• 3:26:23
  Weird with me. It's the same with me, so I
• 3:26:27
  don't know how that works. AI.
• 3:26:31
  Or bots. I don't know.
• 3:26:33
  I really don't. I I tell you, I try not to.
• 3:26:37
  I'm at a point I was at first because this is what I do.
• 3:26:41
  I retired early to make this my living okay.
• 3:26:46
  So, you know, I was real concerned with it in the
• 3:26:50
  beginning. But as I'm going and growing,
• 3:26:56
  I'm kind of, you know what? I'm kind of getting away from
• 3:26:58
  worrying about that. I really don't care.
• 3:27:01
  I think the people that are supposed to come to me will come
• 3:27:04
  to me. The people that are supposed to
• 3:27:06
  see me will see me. I am concentrating more on what
• 3:27:13
  I want my reality to be okay and what I want in my life and I'm.
• 3:27:20
  I'm just really trying to more and more just disassociate with.
• 3:27:26
  With that I'm I'm just trying not to worry about it.
• 3:27:29
  I don't. I don't know.
• 3:27:31
  I'll, I'll get back to you to see if it works well.
• 3:27:34
  No, I mean, that's what I've always said.
• 3:27:36
  I I don't. I if I had 500 followers.
• 3:27:40
  Yet those 500 followers are people that I can actually help
• 3:27:45
  develop their spirituality. Think about things outside the
• 3:27:50
  parameters of what they've been thinking about.
• 3:27:52
  Give them new ideas or new are are like even just the handful
• 3:27:58
  of women that I have helped break free of abusive
• 3:28:01
  relationships. If, if, if, how about this?
• 3:28:07
  I don't want to cry. I don't want to get all
• 3:28:09
  emotionally about it. If getting on TikTok and getting
• 3:28:17
  notoriety and being hated and being chased down and abused and
• 3:28:23
  adult bullying and getting cancelled over and over and over
• 3:28:26
  again. If one of those children, just
• 3:28:29
  one one of the children of the women that I helped get out of
• 3:28:32
  that abuse abusive relationship, has a better life because I
• 3:28:37
  helped convince that woman that her value was more than sticking
• 3:28:42
  around with this alcoholic or a verbally abusive or a physically
• 3:28:46
  abusive person, it was all worth it to me. 100 percent, 100%
• 3:28:54
  worth it to me. And that's me declaring that to
• 3:28:59
  the spiritual world, to the world, if I suffered so that one
• 3:29:05
  little girl or one little boy has a higher quality of life.
• 3:29:11
  Right. Fuck all.
• 3:29:13
  Y'all. Yeah, I agree.
• 3:29:16
  That's it. Yeah, that has to be what?
• 3:29:19
  What? What it's worth for Well, that
• 3:29:21
  that that shows you what drives me.
• 3:29:24
  Yeah, because like I said, the only reason why I do anything
• 3:29:28
  that I do, it's because I want to have the experience of it.
• 3:29:31
  I want to experience it. I want to feel it.
• 3:29:34
  I want to do it. I want to understand what's on
• 3:29:35
  the other side of the curtain. That's what I'm all about.
• 3:29:39
  But I'm all about dragging everybody else with me who wants
• 3:29:44
  to go to the other side of the curtain, whether they like it or
• 3:29:47
  not. I and I relate to that.
• 3:29:50
  I I relate to that because I talk quantum stuff and people
• 3:29:55
  are looking at me, you know, with like.
• 3:30:00
  This going, I don't get it. Let me tell you something.
• 3:30:03
  You are like you know our conversation today that I wish
• 3:30:07
  everybody on TikTok who has the opportunity could have the
• 3:30:10
  opportunity to hear us talk. Like we've talked for the past
• 3:30:14
  couple of I knew that my spirits were like getting Nana to talk.
• 3:30:17
  Nana, you need to have a conversation off that app where
• 3:30:21
  you two can connect. Not being distracted by all
• 3:30:24
  these comments and other people. You are way ahead of your time.
• 3:30:29
  You're way ahead of your time. You're you're you're introducing
• 3:30:33
  concepts into the world that people aren't ready for, they're
• 3:30:38
  not ready for. You're talking about a spiritual
• 3:30:41
  technology that people are not ready for.
• 3:30:44
  It's it's it's like your. Chat your ChatGPT for your chat
• 3:30:49
  technology. Yeah, but yeah, but people.
• 3:30:52
  Don't I say to you, I am not here to teach you anything.
• 3:30:57
  I am here to help you remember. These are things we already
• 3:31:03
  know. But you've had civilization.
• 3:31:08
  You've had Christianity. You've had, you know, whatever
• 3:31:12
  toxic environments raised you, erase it from your memory.
• 3:31:19
  Because as I explained things to people and as they do spend time
• 3:31:23
  to me with me, just like you did, you realized I've been
• 3:31:27
  doing this. I do a lot of this already.
• 3:31:31
  I just now have to apply it correctly.
• 3:31:34
  So that's the whole thing. It's the application process.
• 3:31:37
  It's the application process that people are missing.
• 3:31:40
  They might, how about this? They might on a low key level
• 3:31:43
  understanding things because obviously like you said, we are
• 3:31:48
  all intimately connected in this way.
• 3:31:52
  But it's the ability to get somebody to to remember or the
• 3:31:56
  ability to sell for someone to be able to actually apply the
• 3:31:59
  level of information. And it takes, yes, and then you.
• 3:32:03
  Have to meditate. You do have to meditate.
• 3:32:06
  You do have to visualize, but these are easy things.
• 3:32:10
  And you know, you just have to change the definitions, because
• 3:32:13
  when people, when you say the word meditate to people, they
• 3:32:17
  flip shit. You know you know this because
• 3:32:22
  your meditation. You know they because they have
• 3:32:24
  this in their brain of a certain way meditation.
• 3:32:28
  And it's not like that at all. It is not clearing your mind.
• 3:32:32
  It's controlling your mind. Totally different.
• 3:32:35
  Yeah. Yeah, it is.
• 3:32:38
  But you know what? I think you're awesome.
• 3:32:42
  And I. Think you're awesome?
• 3:32:45
  We really do. We're awesome.
• 3:32:47
  We're so awesome 1 Great. One great thing about TikTok is
• 3:32:52
  that it connected me with some really grand people, especially
• 3:32:56
  you. And I also feel like I just wish
• 3:33:02
  I could have all my favorite creators in one room.
• 3:33:05
  I would love that. I would love to sit in a circle
• 3:33:08
  with all of my favorite creators to shoot the shit, smoke, have
• 3:33:13
  coffee and just like chat about, you know, all of this stuff.
• 3:33:18
  Because it's just it's really exciting and I'm hopeful for the
• 3:33:26
  future. I'm I I'm trying to stay
• 3:33:28
  positive. I think that things can get
• 3:33:30
  better. I don't think, I think that
• 3:33:32
  right now it's difficult because, well, we're all
• 3:33:35
  shifting, big shifts going on and you know sometimes you have
• 3:33:41
  to pop the pimple and drain it of all the pus before it can
• 3:33:45
  start to heal and that wound start to go away.
• 3:33:49
  It takes a long time when you have a scar for it to fade.
• 3:33:52
  But I think that it's possible. I think that we can do it but
• 3:33:57
  it, but it's going to require that you and me keep doing what
• 3:34:01
  we're doing and not stop. That's true.
• 3:34:04
  Well, this certainly. Doesn't have to be our last
• 3:34:06
  conversation. No, it doesn't have to be our
• 3:34:09
  last conversation at all. We will have many more.
• 3:34:11
  But I just want you to know I appreciate you and I also
• 3:34:14
  appreciate you deciding to do this with me.
• 3:34:18
  Oh, I appreciate you as well, very much.
• 3:34:22
  Well, I think I'm exhausted now. I could go to sleep now.
• 3:34:26
  You know, I'm I'm wondering if I could.
• 3:34:28
  I'm going to go try. There's time to take a nap, Of
• 3:34:33
  course, if I lay down now, I won't get up until 5:00.
• 3:34:36
  But you know what? Whatever it was, this was worth
• 3:34:40
  it though. I always I work for myself.
• 3:34:42
  I make my own hours. There's no, nobody cares.
• 3:34:46
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 3:34:48
  All right. Well, I'm going to sign off and
• 3:34:51
  I'm going to thank you very much and I want you to have our great
• 3:34:54
  rest of the day. I hope we talk again soon.
• 3:34:57
  All right. Bye.
• 3:34:58
  Bye, bye.