Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 2 | One Voyage Jeopardy with Jamal Kingsley

Transcript

DLHS Hour 2 | One Voyage Jeopardy with Jamal Kingsley · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It is the D.O. Hughley Show. Remember, One Voice, Jeopardy,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: plus my school of real good book learning. That's going
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to be a good hour here. That's going to be
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: very interesting. I'm going to ask this question tomorrow. Now,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know any— no, I'm not even going to ask.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: I'll save it. Why would any black person trust Donald
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Trump and go to the White House and put themselves out?
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Have you ever seen anybody— like Stephen A. really mortgaged his
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: reputation to go there?
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I think he thought he was different.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: Well, he is. I'm a different kind.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: And maybe the reason is he had his shape like
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: that because he's always pulling it out of a white
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: dude's a * *. Like, maybe it's... Wow. Like, I
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: swear to God, maybe he has that cone Hershey's Kiss shape.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: Because he's always genuflecting. Like, you know what's interesting?
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Jesus.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: He never once, not once, not once, the only time
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: he ever gets mad is when you say something about him.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: And it's only got to be black somebody black said
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: something about him. Not once have you, and we Googled this,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: not once has he said anything about.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: Nolan Wells or Colin Wilder.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: No.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Not once.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: You know what he talked about? He talked about Carmelo Anthony.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, he did.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: He talked about Carmelo Anthony. So he talked about him.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: He stays away from things that he knows his keepers
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: aren't going to like. The funny thing I find funny
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: is both Bill Maher and Brandon Tatum and his wife
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: used to love me when I was doing the jokes
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: that didn't hurt their feelings. I'm pretty sure she had
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: an altar to me in her house, right? Like, I'm
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: pretty sure.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Not an altar.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: A baby one.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: It was small.
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  Speaker 1: I love him. I know.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Leave the oranges at your feet.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I don't understand how you set up in a company.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: You get more mad at us than you ever do
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: for them. You got mad at LeBron for going on
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  Speaker 1: Pat McAfee's show, but you can't understand why black people
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: mad at you for going to the White House? You
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: funnel head bastard. Let me tell you something. Hi-yi. All right,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: my school of real good book learners. You sure that's all?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: You got anything else? Act like I ain't nobody. I
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: got 12 million people listening to me every day.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: All right now.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: That's crazy. I could go everywhere you can go.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: He did try to come for you, though. Do you
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: know what's funny? If I acted like him tomorrow, this
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: is no debate. If I said the things he say,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be nobody's plus one. They would fly me
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: out to the White House and put me up like
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: a prized turkey. They would have me sitting next to
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: Trump around the table and be like, oh man, we
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: got one. Two things would happen. We got him. Two
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: things would happen. That would happen and tomorrow my radio
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: show would have two people listening to it.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Tomorrow you would not have a radio show. I don't
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: know what you're talking about.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: No, no, you wouldn't have a show.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You come back and tell me it's Hugh's dad. It's
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: the Jasmine and Skip show.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: That's a wrap.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: That ain't why I do it, but that's how much
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: you act like I ain't nobody.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I can't walk down the street without people coming up
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  Speaker 1: to me.
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  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: It's crazy.
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  Speaker 1: I think that some of the things I have done,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: my ancestors have smiled at.
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: I tell you one thing, him sitting up in that
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: White House, the black folks that built it were not smiling.
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Man, I tell you what, I bet you what, some
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: of them chairs was rattling.
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: Here's Jamal Kingsley, the military man.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Hello, my brothers and sisters. This is Jamal Kingsley, the
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: military man, hosting this time, One Voyage Jeopardy, where we
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: give you lyrics from artists from the One Voyage crews,
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  Speaker 3: and our contestants will try to solve the puzzle. Today,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: we have two DJs. That means they should have a
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  Speaker 3: vast knowledge of music. Introducing DJ Wire. What's up, what's up,
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  Speaker 3: what's up? And the world famous DJ Steve Nice.
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  Speaker 1: What's good, people?
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  Speaker 3: All right, let's get this party started. DJ Wire, the
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: first one is for you. Here are the lyrics. When
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: I see you walking down, down the street so fine.
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  Speaker 3: Don't you know you really, you really blow my mind.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: And when you came along and gave my heart a
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  Speaker 3: brand new song, yes you did.
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  Speaker 2: What is that song? I can't call it. I can't
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  Speaker 2: call it.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: That is one of the stars from the One Voyage Cruise,
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  Speaker 3: Lovey Dovey by Tony Terry. Yeah, that might be a
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: little bit outside of your wheelhouse, but that's okay. Now
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: that I'm thinking about it, I should have switched them.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Here's the next one for you, DJ Steve Nice. Weed blow,
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  Speaker 3: real estate, liquor stove with no trouble. Young Cassius Clay
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: of my day, Marvin Gaye of my time, trying to
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  Speaker 3: stay alive, living how I say in my rhymes.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: See ya.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Well, that is T.I.
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  Speaker 3: You didn't give me the song, though, but we'll give
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: you partial credit. Thank you very much, Rubber Band Man
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: from T.I., another artist from the One Voyage Cruise. All right,
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  Speaker 3: here's the last one. If any of you know, you
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: just jump right in. You know you ought to slow down.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: You've been working.
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: Too hard.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: And that's a fact. Sit back and relax a while.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: Take some time to laugh and smile.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: Ah, I don't know it, but I know the lyrics.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: That is the SOS band. Take your time.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Take your time.
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  Speaker 5: Do it right.
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  Speaker 3: Another superstar artist right there, my brother.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Now it is time to present another diploma from D.O. School,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: a real good book learning. Who do we have on
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: the phone?
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Leron. Leron, how you doing?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Where you calling us from?
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Fort Worth, Texas. Oh, Fort Worth, Texas.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Not by stop six. Not by stop six. Is it
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: by there? Because we're going to have to hang up.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: If it is.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: We can't take a chance if our phone's coming up missing.
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: Listen.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: All right, Skip, he's from Plano. You know, he think
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: he's too good for you.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm down with Funky Town. No, that's what's up.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, tell us how the game is played, Skip.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: All right, I'm going to give you a word, and
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: a word you're going to have to use in a sentence.
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: After I give it to you, Jasmine will attempt to
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: use it in a sentence.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Then D.L.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: Will use it in a sentence. We'll see who got
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: it right. And then you will earn your prestigious diploma
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: to D.L. School of Real Good Book Learning.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Are you ready?
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, I'm ready.
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  Speaker 2: Today's word is quasatum.
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  Speaker 1: Ooh!
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  Speaker 2: Use quasatum in a sentence. Wow!
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  Speaker 1: I'm glad I am the first.
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  Speaker 3: I ain't idea.
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  Speaker 1: That's Fort Worth.
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  Speaker 3: That's Fort Worth right there, bro.
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  Speaker 1: Right there.
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  Speaker 3: Quasatum.
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  Speaker 2: It's only a four-hour show.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know that. He's like, I'm aware.
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  Speaker 1: I'm aware.
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  Speaker 6: I hate I had to quasatum the answer on a
• 7:42
  Speaker 6: limited time.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, man, that ain't going to be close. We should
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: stop right now.
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  Speaker 2: Come on now.
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  Speaker 3: That was a horrible answer.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Come on.
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  Speaker 5: So I found myself in a bit of a quasatum
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  Speaker 5: the other day when I couldn't figure out what to wear.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 8:03
  Speaker 6: Uh, DL?
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Um, uh, my daughter, Ryan, is an AKA Jasmine is
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a Delta. And, uh, we hope Tyler one day will
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  Speaker 1: grow up and be a quasado.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Well, let me tell you. The closest one would actually
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: be Mr. Fort Worth. I'm just saying.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Why, why?
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  Speaker 4: Jasmine, a quasatum is that which is sought or the
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  Speaker 4: answer to a problem.
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  Speaker 3: See?
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  Speaker 2: The quasatum to your problem might come to you after
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: some quiet reflection.
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  Speaker 3: So congratulations. Congratulations. Boo!
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Stop booing him! You have earned a prestigious degree from D.L.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: 's School of Real Book Learning.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: Of course he can learn. He's at top 60. He
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: has nothing else to do. Stop it!
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  Speaker 3: Right. Get it. Get it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I've been to see you two times at all.
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  Speaker 3: Of your improv.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, there you go.
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  Speaker 3: See?
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: You have excellent taste. Give him two degrees. Hey, man,
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: thank you so much for calling. You know we appreciate it,
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Big Daddy. Thank you, now. Take care. Take care.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: All right.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: We recognize some of the funniest comedians. Some you know,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: some you don't. Welcome to the stage, Country Wayne.
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: I do a lot of situations. I learned so much
• 9:16
  Speaker 6: about women. That's why I don't never have to go
• 9:18
  Speaker 6: to therapy. Women, instead of going to therapy, talk to
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: Country Wayne. I talk to you. Stop going to therapy.
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: That therapy ain't going to save your relationship. Ain't no
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: relationship fighting for a button. Your relationship with Jesus. I
• 9:29
  Speaker 6: told my baby mama, they say, why don't you believe
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: in Jesus so much, but you got all these broken homes?
• 9:33
  Speaker 6: I say, because God put me in your life to
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: leave you. I say, God put me in your life
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: for me to leave you so you could get closer
• 9:46
  Speaker 6: to him. Because you trying to put me first sometimes.
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: You trying to put this, not even put me first,
• 9:53
  Speaker 6: you trying to put this relationship first. And so I
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: got to remove myself. so you can get your relationship
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: right with God. Because you ain't read the Bible all day,
• 10:05
  Speaker 6: but in my phone reading the text message. But God
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: done text you in the book.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: Hallelujah.
• 10:15
  Speaker 6: But a therapist will mess up your relationship, man. My
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: ex went and talked to a therapist.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Messed up the whole relationship. The therapist told her something stupid.
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: The therapist told her, tell Wayne, next time he get
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: the urge to cheat or think about cheating, confess it
• 10:29
  Speaker 6: to you and the urge to leave him. She say,
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: it's about the confession. She say, because it's in you.
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: She say, confessing sometimes sets you free. She came home
• 10:38
  Speaker 6: and told me that. She say, Wayne, my therapist say,
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: next time you get the urge to cheat or think
• 10:41
  Speaker 6: about cheating, just talk to me about it and confess it.
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: I said, girl, I'm not going to be talking to
• 10:45
  Speaker 6: you all day. I'll be waking you up out your sleep,
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: hurry up.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about it, cause I'm about to act like
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I gotta go pick up some food.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: She said, Wayne, it ain't funny. Everything ain't no joke.
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: Life is not a joke. She said, stop playing with me.
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: She said, next time you think about cheating, just let
• 11:08
  Speaker 6: me know.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Keep it real. I ain't gonna get mad. Just confess it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: I said, all right.
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: Next day, I'm sitting home. Side chick hit my phone.
• 11:17
  Speaker 6: I'm walking to the door. She must have felt it
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: in her spirit. She said, Wayne, where you going? I said,
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: it's about that time. She said, Kimmel, let me talk
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: to you. She said, Wayne, why would you? She said,
• 11:28
  Speaker 6: here you go. Got a good healthy meal right here
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: in your face. But why would you go out there
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: in the world and get a snack?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I said, baby, you right.
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: You good and healthy for me. But sometimes I just
• 11:39
  Speaker 6: want some junk food. She said, you want some junk food?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: She said, I got your junk food. She said, come here.
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: This girl, y'all took me in the room and made
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: love to me like she never made before. When I
• 11:50
  Speaker 6: told y'all, she woke me up, made me.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: Confess everything I was about to do to you. It worked.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to go nowhere. She woke me up.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: She was proud.
• 11:57
  Speaker 6: She looked at me after we was done. She said, Wayne,
• 11:59
  Speaker 6: how you feeling now? I said, baby, I feel like
• 12:03
  Speaker 6: I have to try again tomorrow.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: My mama ain't raised no quitter.
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: Thank you so much.