Latest / Beek on being / Beek on being RAISED ON RUTHI’S RULES
Transcript
- 0:00Melissa Shere Beek: Hi. I hope you are well. This podcast is a place for people to share personal and professional perspectives, talk openly, and ask questions. From serious to silly to sublime, it's all about communication and connection. Always coming from a place of kindness and curiosity, we talk about shared humanity, discuss ideas, and highlight people creating a better world.
- 0:24We've got to keep learning, keep growing, keep being. I'm Melissa Beek, and this is Beek on Being. Today is Beek on Being raised by Ruthie's Rules. They're back. By popular demand, I have in studio today my mother, Ruth Garber Shere, and my sisters, Sammy Jo the Blondie and Jess the baby.
- 0:49Today is comic relief. Absolute amusement coming off the holidays and the New Year's. We need to poke a little fun at ourselves. Oh gd. Gd help us all.
- 1:03Samantha Shere Sharpe: A little nervous laugh.
- 1:05Melissa Shere Beek: All have.
- 1:06Ruth Garber Shere: No talking fun at the mother.
- 1:08Melissa Shere Beek: Growing up in our house, there were certain behaviors imprinted or impressed upon us. What we saw, what was said to us, all those verbal and nonverbal clues set the guidelines for our demeanor and actions. Everything that was expected of you, a set of explicit, understood regulations or principles governing conduct. A code you must abide by. So today is all about the familial funny my sisters and I refer to as Ruthie's Rules.
- 1:39At least the ones that we can discuss on air. Small disclaimer. Her own rules don't always apply to herself. She doesn't have to follow anyone else's rules. Others don't know the rules she's judging them by and rules can change at any time.
- 1:57I don't know where. There are certain things I personally learned by default from what my mother did not do or did not believe in. To me, my mother's personal philosophy was use it up, burn it out, break it, fix it and replace it. This doesn't just apply to every single one of her cars and all the appliances in the house and the computers and the phones and iPads and televisions, but also her body. And my mother also never believed in period cramps or being sick in any way during school days.
- 2:30I think I speak for my sisters as well when I say that the three of us all won perfect attendance every single year.
- 2:37Ruth Garber Shere: I let Jessica stay home one day for mono.
- 2:40Melissa Shere Beek: One day.
- 2:40Jessica Shere Coggins: One day.
- 2:41Ruth Garber Shere: One day.
- 2:42Melissa Shere Beek: So I learned to be proactive and preventative when it came to everything. But that brings me to the great things that we learned from UMa. Maintain the matriarchy. Education is absolutely the most important. Always put money away for financial independence and how to get what you want from men.
- 3:05We're going to break all those and other rules she has down but Ma, you wanna tell us real quick what your simple philosophy on men is?
- 3:13Ruth Garber Shere: No. Fuck them and feed them. Okay.
- 3:17Samantha Shere Sharpe: Mom.
- 3:19Melissa Shere Beek: With that, let's get into it. Then that's my philosophy. Wow. It works.
- 3:26The matriarchy. We come from a long line of strong women. I'm the firstborn daughter of a firstborn daughter of a firstborn daughter of a firstborn daughter and then after that I lose track.
- 3:38Ruth Garber Shere: No, Mamiko was a first born daughter
- 3:40Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, so another first born. Ma, tell us about the matriarchy you come from and what traits you learned and impressed upon us as the importance of being strong independent women and dare I say stubborn women as well.
- 3:57Ruth Garber Shere: Wow, there's so much. Okay. You have to take care of yourself. You have to put aside a pushkey. When daddy found out about mine because he hadn't paid taxes on the money that I made.
- 4:10Melissa Shere Beek: Wait, wait. You already went into finances. We're talking about being strong independent women.
- 4:18Ruth Garber Shere: About maintaining the matriarchy? Yeah, we're the leaders and we have to impart that upon our daughters and let them know that they're superior and sorry. And listen, Samantha and I were very shocked when she found out Aiden was going to be a boy. She called me from the ultrasound.
- 4:44Melissa Shere Beek: I think after like a hundred and eighty seven
- 4:47Ruth Garber Shere: It was a hundred and twenty seven years but I did have an uncle born in the 20s.
- 4:52Melissa Shere Beek: A hundred and twenty seven years of nothing but women Yes. Having daughters
- 4:59Ruth Garber Shere: And all girl cousins but there was an uncle born in the nineteen twenties but he proceeded to have five girls. Okay. So, it didn't count.
- 5:09Samantha Shere Sharpe: Didn't count. So, I broke the rule like I always do.
- 5:12Melissa Shere Beek: Always. Yeah. Always. That's the middle child. Yes.
- 5:16And she's smiling so big for our listeners. I think her husband was more proud too because he was the first one to really go up against the Ruthie's rule.
- 5:25Samantha Shere Sharpe: That's I never thought of that.
- 5:27Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, yeah. I think I toasted your baby shower, your husband. I Said, well, you fit the other two rules she gave you, but you were determined to break the third. Mhmm. Sam and Jess, do you see yourself in these mavens?
- 5:42Like traits that you carry on from all of the women from generations beforehand besides the story.
- 5:49Ruth Garber Shere: Oh you are such a ruler.
- 5:50Samantha Shere Sharpe: I'm not. I'm not. Are you kidding me? My kids have I've never grounded my kids.
- 5:56Ruth Garber Shere: No, no I don't mean that. I meant as a presence. No.
- 5:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't think so. Think She means I have a in very supportive husband.
- 6:03Melissa Shere Beek: Know. No, she means in Like you're a queen. You're a strong independent woman. You go after what you want.
- 6:09Samantha Shere Sharpe: Sometimes.
- 6:11Ruth Garber Shere: And Jessica does but
- 6:12Jessica Shere Coggins: I was forced to in a way. But I like it.
- 6:14Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't. Yeah. I don't. I could try a little harder. Don't.
- 6:20Melissa Shere Beek: And what about you Jess? Independent wise?
- 6:23Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah. Very. Yeah. I was forced to. I was put in position.
- 6:29Ruth Garber Shere: You were strong and independent
- 6:31Ruth Garber Shere: in high school, in college. It wasn't even when you got older and were put in that role. Always I was really,
- 6:42Jessica Shere Coggins: I didn't think that way at all.
- 6:43Samantha Shere Sharpe: I was lazy. I was, I wasn't strong.
- 6:45I wasn't strong and independent. I was lazy.
- 6:47Ruth Garber Shere: I think.
- 6:47Ruth Garber Shere: Oh no, I thought you were very. You had your own rules and people who were not fitting into that box, you deleted.
- 6:58Melissa Shere Beek: Okay, so then what traits do you put upon your children as far as being strong and independent
- 7:03Jessica Shere Coggins: or Well the positive biggest one rule for her, which I do take is the don't lie. Yeah. That's like my get go, like I don't care what you do. So that I've taken from her. Another thing with kids that I took from her was I was never allowed to sit in my bed to do homework. Had to sit in I my bed.
- 7:23Samantha Shere Sharpe: Sit sit in the desk with the lantern. I still fall asleep
- 7:27Jessica Shere Coggins: I in do that with my kids too. Get them out of the bed.
- 7:30Ruth Garber Shere: Samantha fell asleep underneath the desk many times. I Are you serious?
- 7:33Ruth Garber Shere: And then you wake her up and she would talk Chinese.
- 7:36Samantha Shere Sharpe: Or I'd like be like I've been
- 7:37up, I'm up. I've been told
- 7:38you I'm up. I still do that to this day.
- 7:40Somebody She would wake wake me me up up and this
- 7:43Ruth Garber Shere: and she'd be sleeping with her eyes open.
- 7:45Melissa Shere Beek: That's a good trick, Sam.
- 7:47Jessica Shere Coggins: I can't do rules. Rules work, don't work well with me. In everyday ways.
- 7:51Melissa Shere Beek: So when we were talking about birth order, my shirt was, I'm number one, I follow the rules. Sam's was, I'm the reason there were rules, but yours was, wait, there were rules? It's So maybe it's that birth order It is I think
- 8:04Samantha Shere Sharpe: the birth order.
- 8:04Melissa Shere Beek: Follow rules because of that.
- 8:06Jessica Shere Coggins: I don't want to, I it's not that I'll follow the rules that I have to follow. Uh-huh.
- 8:10It's the little things where I make
- 8:12up my own rules that I don't necessarily follow.
- 8:15Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. I think one rule, oh go ahead. No no,
- 8:17Samantha Shere Sharpe: I was gonna say one rule that I think mom has said is you did not follow but you say it to me now. She doesn't
- 8:26follow her own rules.
- 8:26Is don't make a threat that you can't follow.
- 8:29Ruth Garber Shere: Oh that's true and I did very badly on that. Very very bad and I am I have failed. That is like of my biggest things It's hard.
- 8:38Samantha Shere Sharpe: Is well, that's probably why I've never punished my kids because I make you can't threaten something and I can't follow through. Right. But that was one role you you threat you threatened all the time. Yeah, but I
- 8:51Ruth Garber Shere: never Except that one time when I called. Yeah.
- 8:55Ruth Garber Shere: And I did I did ground you.
- 8:58Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah, but then you unground me.
- 8:59Ruth Garber Shere: What was And then I reason called to
- 9:00unground you. And Aura said, she's not home. She took your new car. Without a driver's license.
- 9:09Samantha Shere Sharpe: At the age of 15.
- 9:10Ruth Garber Shere: Big BMW brand new.
- 9:12Melissa Shere Beek: So it didn't matter if you followed It didn't matter if you followed through. She's gonna do her own This thing
- 9:17Ruth Garber Shere: one time I've, yeah so Samantha always did her own thing.
- 9:19Melissa Shere Beek: Okay so here's a question I have for you.
- 9:21Ruth Garber Shere: What about you? What rules do you have?
- 9:23Melissa Shere Beek: Well, wait, let me finish with this, with Sam and Jess. What do you teach your sons? Because you guys have sons, we don't
- 9:31from your girls coming from like I this huge
- 9:33Samantha Shere Sharpe: can't, the
- 9:34Jessica Shere Coggins: same thing. Same rules apply. I don't, they're not gender relate like it's usual. Okay, good.
- 9:40Samantha Shere Sharpe: So whatever it is, it is.
- 9:41Ruth Garber Shere: Good. Good, good, good. I think these boys have been brought up to be very understanding of women and caring and respectful.
- 9:53Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, I agree with that.
- 9:54Ruth Garber Shere: I I do too actually.
- 9:55Melissa Shere Beek: I agree with All
- 9:56Ruth Garber Shere: of them have been and and that I kudos to both of you. Yeah. Because I probably would have sent them to sleep away military. Oh my boy. It's a joke.
- 10:05It's a joke.
- 10:07What I'm saying is
- 10:09Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, boys are the best.
- 10:09Ruth Garber Shere: Your boys have been brought up with a lot of compassion.
- 10:13Melissa Shere Beek: Right.
- 10:14Ruth Garber Shere: And caring for women. And they are gentlemen. They, every time I have something they'll say, oh I'm gonna carry that.
- 10:25Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. Let me do it end at the night when we were All saying
- 10:29Ruth Garber Shere: the time. Is that you? Doing what?
- 10:32Ruth Garber Shere: Oh, hear like scratching. Never mind.
- 10:33Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, no. We took off the headphones. We're good to go. Okay. So for me I continued being a strong independent and speaking up for injustices because you were always a big mouth about advocacy things like that.
- 10:46Ruth Garber Shere: For the downtrodden for the poor, for the needy.
- 10:49Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. And going after what you believed in. I think I did all of the I instilled all that for my girls too. Okay, the other thing that was really, really important that I loved was the importance of education because Ma, your grandmother Ethel was considered to be the mayor of her town. She ran a bed and breakfast on her own as a widow.
- 11:07Your grandmother Rose was an activist and an advocate.
- 11:11Ruth Garber Shere: And suffragette.
- 11:13Melissa Shere Beek: She served on many boards as president and co chaired others as well. She traveled all over the world by herself. Your mother As socialist.
- 11:20Ruth Garber Shere: She was a socialist.
- 11:21Melissa Shere Beek: She was a socialist. Your mother Shirley went to Rutgers University and became a pharmacist in the early 1940s and then ran a business on Miami Beach with her husband. Was one of
- 11:31Ruth Garber Shere: two women who graduated with a Masters in Physics and Chemistry from Rutgers in those days.
- 11:38Melissa Shere Beek: In the early 40s, yeah. So I think the best thing that you did was impress upon us the importance of education. Because I believe knowledge is power and I love learning. Is that what you felt when you were growing up following in these women's path? Your footsteps not just the love of it.
- 11:53Ruth Garber Shere: This is who you what you're going to do. You're going to be learned. You're going to be knowledgeable. You're going to pursue an education.
- 12:02Jessica Shere Coggins: Because your mother told you or because of your own rules and I
- 12:04Ruth Garber Shere: think know it was Nanny Rose
- 12:06Samantha Shere Sharpe: but you were very studious as a child.
- 12:08Were born that way.
- 12:09Ruth Garber Shere: I mean I love two totally different
- 12:13Ruth Garber Shere: love, academic I could go
- 12:14to school every day of my and be
- 12:16Jessica Shere Coggins: really really happy I don't when think you're in your mother impressed anyone. Think it's just the way you
- 12:19Samantha Shere Sharpe: were Yeah I definitely don't think it's your mother that did that.
- 12:21Ruth Garber Shere: No but Nanny Rose made it Nanny
- 12:26Melissa Shere Beek: Rose is her grandmother that we're referring to. Yeah but when Nanny Rose
- 12:29Ruth Garber Shere: traveled like she didn't have much of an education in a sense of like.
- 12:33Ruth Garber Shere: No but she did she did impress upon me that one has to continue learning. She was very upset because when she came here she had to go to work. Her mother had a baby. Her mother was homeless.
- 12:48Melissa Shere Beek: For context her grandmother that she's speaking to Nana Rose came over to The United States in 1911. She was 11 years old. Crossed Europe by herself. Crossed throughout Europe by herself and took a ship to The United States a month alone on a ship. And then had to actually lie about her age when she came to The States so she could get a job.
- 13:09She was illiterate. She learned to read and write phonetically. She never was to do any of that. So that's the alternative. Always been in the best.
- 13:20Ruth Garber Shere: And I But was the
- 13:22Melissa Shere Beek: she spelled it and she did it because she pushed herself to learn. Right. Yeah.
- 13:27Ruth Garber Shere: But she was the one who impressed upon me that you have to speak up against the evil in this world to do good to help others to put yourself out there.
- 13:39Melissa Shere Beek: Right. And you took the advocacy and all of that and ran with it. Taught us to be to speak
- 13:46Ruth Garber Shere: out I think for anything that was Samantha's 100% right to this day. I'm
- 13:50Jessica Shere Coggins: constantly That's worried one thing
- 13:51I regret is not paying more attention in school and college
- 13:54because of the way that she she knows everything.
- 13:57So I regret not absorbing it more and paying more attention to it.
- 14:02Ruth Garber Shere: My father was very smart and my mother was very smart.
- 14:05Melissa Shere Beek: I'd also think it depends on who's teaching. You need great educators to have great learners. So if you have a teacher that's not exciting you or not reaching you or meeting you where you're at depending on if you're an auditory learner or a visual learner or you know, tactile learner, then you're not going to pick it up. It's not going to be exciting. I know
- 14:23Jessica Shere Coggins: but I feel like you go through
- 14:24so many teachers throughout your learning experience. Right. Like if you have a bad one, it's a bad one. But you go through so many. I think it's the passion.
- 14:32Melissa Shere Beek: Do you impress that upon your kids Sam and Jess?
- 14:34Samantha Shere Sharpe: I try to. I I try to.
- 14:36My kids are all I have three totally different kids. Yeah.
- 14:39They all do. I mean they're definitely yeah.
- 14:40Jessica Shere Coggins: I think you're born with some of this. Like the drive, the push. Think you're born with some of it. Yeah. And I think some is environmental too.
- 14:47Right. I think it depends. True.
- 14:50Ruth Garber Shere: Yes Samantha's children are totally different all three of them.
- 14:53Melissa Shere Beek: But all of us have kids that are totally different.
- 14:54Ruth Garber Shere: Yes. One
- 14:56Ruth Garber Shere: And we're of
- 14:56Melissa Shere Beek: the other totally different kids. Don't think Three of us.
- 14:59Ruth Garber Shere: Don't so.
- 15:00Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't think I don't think so.
- 15:02Ruth Garber Shere: Think the three of you could have been tricked. I think
- 15:04Samantha Shere Sharpe: now we are more aligned. Don't think
- 15:07Ruth Garber Shere: we You always were. You never look cross eyed at each other. That was one of the questions no. Growing
- 15:11Melissa Shere Beek: I'm not talking about the relationship We that we have with each love and adore each other and support each other. I'm saying personality wise.
- 15:19Ruth Garber Shere: Personality? We're very It's birth order type of thing more than
- 15:23Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. Than Like personality. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
- 15:25Ruth Garber Shere: I think it's more birth order.
- 15:27Melissa Shere Beek: So that's what I'm saying. We're all very different
- 15:29Ruth Garber Shere: But then you think
- 15:29you're my mother.
- 15:30Melissa Shere Beek: We're talking. Well I am your
- 15:31Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't think you've given her a choice but to be your mother. Well somebody had to control her.
- 15:38Somebody needs to control you. Love you.
- 15:40Ruth Garber Shere: Ought to I'm okay. I don't see it that way either. Neither do I.
- 15:43Melissa Shere Beek: You don't think I'm her mother? I think I'm trying
- 15:48Ruth Garber Shere: to be but why do I have to be controlled?
- 15:49Jessica Shere Coggins: You always introduce to her as your mother.
- 15:51Ruth Garber Shere: Why do I have to be controlled?
- 15:53I think
- 15:53Ruth Garber Shere: sometimes But don't
- 15:54Ruth Garber Shere: hurt me don't say it.
- 15:55No, I just think
- 15:57Melissa Shere Beek: Inappropriate? I
- 15:58Samantha Shere Sharpe: don't think sometimes yes.
- 16:00Jessica Shere Coggins: I don't think that's it doesn't bother me like That's that
- 16:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: where you need to be corralled back in.
- 16:05You have no filter.
- 16:06Melissa Shere Beek: I need to course correct you.
- 16:07Yes. Let's just say that.
- 16:09Samantha Shere Sharpe: There are many times where you're just not Yes.
- 16:12Melissa Shere Beek: It's your delivery and work. Get you
- 16:13Ruth Garber Shere: back in. Yeah. You could be very harsh on people.
- 16:17Samantha Shere Sharpe: I can't say happy that's why
- 16:18don't notice that. We have to fix you. I
- 16:20Ruth Garber Shere: can't I can't say that's harsh also.
- 16:22I
- 16:22Jessica Shere Coggins: am. I've got a harsh shirt too.
- 16:24Melissa Shere Beek: It's just a matter of delivery. I think I will deliver something with a little bit more kindness and finesse. You just Where you go finish are just gonna lay it out there and let you Yes, is off the table.
- 16:35Jessica Shere Coggins: Sometimes I wanna get that out of you though. Yeah.
- 16:38Get out of me. Like come on. Let's go instead
- 16:41of let's do this. It might be beneficial to all of us.
- 16:47Sorry to go there, I'm just saying. I wish,
- 16:49Melissa Shere Beek: but you know, I also It only comes down to saying something like that if I think there's a huge injustice. Like if somebody's But doing something everybody is doing a huge injustice 24/7.
- 17:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: She thinks they are. Mom, you Hate everybody at dance.
- 17:05Ruth Garber Shere: Walk into dance, not everybody.
- 17:07Jessica Shere Coggins: But there's a lot of people you don't like No, to No. You're a g. You think that you She loves everyone and everybody.
- 17:16He's telling me not
- 17:17to dance.
- 17:17Samantha Shere Sharpe: And and you stop
- 17:18being like, you just come in sometimes all riled up, and we gotta kinda sugarcoat you.
- 17:24Melissa Shere Beek: No. Know what it is? Yes, she's looking to get her Yaya’s out. Yeah, and go for the wrong people. And the energy is coming and she needs to get to dance already.
- 17:32Doesn't wanna sit around and talk to She wants to get
- 17:35on that get dance that. Floor
- 17:36and shake it out.
- 17:37Ruth Garber Shere: So come there to socialize.
- 17:39Samantha Shere Sharpe: Right, but they try to socialize and then you hate them for socializing but that's the common courtesy of some people. She's in the morning.
- 17:46Need to talk until after. Well, know but some people don't know Ruthie's rules. Exactly. It's hard. And Samantha.
- 17:54Ruth Garber Shere: Yes. An hour and a half
- 17:56later is still saying goodbyes.
- 17:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh, yes.
- 17:59That is me. That is where she is. That the thing that goes out.
- 18:03Ruth Garber Shere: Is time to leave. Everybody's leaving. She's talking.
- 18:06Samantha Shere Sharpe: I wanna talk to her. She didn't miss anybody. Fun guys.
- 18:09Ruth Garber Shere: I don't want anybody to talk bad about me and say I didn't say goodbye to them. So I make sure
- 18:13Ruth Garber Shere: she's very much prettiest. I like her quite long. It did
- 18:16Ruth Garber Shere: take me a lot of time. Like, a
- 18:18Jessica Shere Coggins: couple fuck you bitches out. I'm Daddy couldn't even walk. Well, were gonna hate me. Sorry. No.
- 18:24Ruth Garber Shere: Daddy couldn't even walk. I finally had to get him out.
- 18:28Ruth Garber Shere: I said hello. Want Do
- 18:29Samantha Shere Sharpe: me to say goodbye? Was
- 18:30Ruth Garber Shere: now. Gosh. I didn't know.
- 18:31Ruth Garber Shere: It's okay. It's fine.
- 18:32Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. He did fine. Jess is simple. She said, fuck you all now bitches. Fuck you I’m Out
- 18:38She just said That
- 18:38Samantha Shere Sharpe: is true. She would.
- 18:39Jessica Shere Coggins: I would. Exactly. Said hello.
- 18:41Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. So see, we are very different from Let's go to finances.
- 18:45Oh, gd. Okay. So women didn't have the right to have their own bank account, credit card, or even own a home until the Equal Opportunity Act of 1974. So another great Ruthie's rule was to put money away each week for the That
- 19:02Ruth Garber Shere: was from Nanny Rose.
- 19:04Melissa Shere Beek: So Nanny Rose, my great grandmother, had a term, it was a Yiddish term called a Pushki, and it was just the way you would just like stash money away.
- 19:12Jessica Shere Coggins: Like, you were given a 30, you put
- 19:14like 10 away for yourself.
- 19:15Melissa Shere Beek: Exactly. Exactly. I get that. Totally. So, Ma, why do and and Sam And jesse too, but why do you feel it's so important to have your own financial independence and not rely on a spouse for finances?
- 19:24Samantha Shere Sharpe: Do I really I'm gonna be I'm gonna I can buy what I want and he doesn't have to know.
- 19:28Jessica Shere Coggins: The fifth on this one.
- 19:29Samantha Shere Sharpe: You plead the fifth. Plead the fifth on this one. Well, I'm gonna get in trouble because then my husband hears this. Don't think so. Okay.
- 19:38Melissa Shere Beek: Well, Mason, don't listen to the podcast.
- 19:40Ruth Garber Shere: Well, daddy found out when when he had
- 19:42Samantha Shere Sharpe: There is an election. Honestly, there's I really don't have a push key. I really don't.
- 19:45Jessica Shere Coggins: I don't either so don't He feel
- 19:47really gives me like I mean he does put me on limits but he really anything I have
- 19:52Ruth Garber Shere: ever He's very generous with you.
- 19:54Samantha Shere Sharpe: Anything I've ever wanted he's always Right.
- 19:56Melissa Shere Beek: So funny. Yeah.
- 19:58Jessica Shere Coggins: He wants to make her happy.
- 19:59Melissa Shere Beek: I know. I appreciate that but like Really? If my if my see something I like, I mean I'm grateful my husband says, well if you like it in green, get it in black too. I've never had a limit but I also have I have a stash like Yeah.
- 20:10Good for also have a stash because what if god forbid anything should happen? I need to know.
- 20:15Jessica Shere Coggins: Can tell you about that.
- 20:16Melissa Shere Beek: I you okay. Exactly. Right.
- 20:17Exactly. I need to know that I'm okay financially. Yeah. Like I need to know that I have security. It's important. I tell my kids that.
- 20:24Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. I
- 20:25know this sounds so.
- 20:26Melissa Shere Beek: What go ahead.
- 20:27Samantha Shere Sharpe: Say that. I'm gonna be killed for saying this.
- 20:30I just
- 20:31know God forbid anything happen I know that that I will be taken care of.
- 20:35Yeah I would too but I just wanna make sure that I'm Me? Not so
- 20:45I'm not not you will. I'm saying Yeah. Know my in laws will.
- 20:50Ruth Garber Shere: That's lovely.
- 20:50Samantha Shere Sharpe: I No. More my mother in laws daughter than Mason is her son.
- 20:55Melissa Shere Beek: Mhmm. Yeah. No. I think you have great mother-in-law. Agree.
- 20:59Yes. Jesse & don't have mother in laws. But you have a very good mother-in-law. So that's it. I think that's great.
- 21:03Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yes. I agree with that too.
- 21:05Melissa Shere Beek: Do you teach your children about putting money away? I do. Just like the education about finances for both your boys and girls?
- 21:10Samantha Shere Sharpe: I wish I was a little bit more vocal with finances with my children. Mhmm.
- 21:17Jessica Shere Coggins: They definitely don't have free rein. I mean, obviously. But they they know what a dollar's worth.
- 21:24Melissa Shere Beek: Okay, that's what you're saying. Yeah.
- 21:25But at
- 21:25least they have some financial literacy.
- 21:27Jessica Shere Coggins: Bringing a much more conscious
- 21:28I don't think they get it really yet. I think Sydney is so I think
- 21:31Ruth Garber Shere: Sydney and Meyer both get it.
- 21:34Jessica Shere Coggins: If Baylyn doesn't get it.
- 21:35Baylyn doesn't. Sydney and Meyer are very good.
- 21:39Ruth Garber Shere: She thinks that there's a tree.
- 21:41Jessica Shere Coggins: Thinks that there's tree and 10 bushes surrounding the tree.
- 21:45With a pit in the middle. I mean seriously.
- 21:48Samantha Shere Sharpe: Bria is very money conscious like she feels bad about spending anything.
- 21:53Stella is
- 21:54Jessica Shere Coggins: better. Sydney likes to save. Meyer likes to have.
- 22:00And Baylyn
- 22:00likes to spend.
- 22:01Ruth Garber Shere: Yes. Okay. Alright. That's true. Was true.
- 22:05Ruth Garber Shere: What about
- 22:05Ruth Garber Shere: Mollie and Remi?
- 22:07Melissa Shere Beek: So they put away, put away, put away, put away. We have, we have like whole discussions on financial literacy that I'm actually doing an episode on that because I feel like at different stages at your life, you can, you can save for later. So I've always taught them the importance of putting it away and making it grow and work for you.
- 22:24Ruth Garber Shere: It was one of the only fights I ever had with daddy when he found out how much he had to pay the IRS on the money I had.
- 22:32Jessica Shere Coggins: Hidden? Hidden. I invested And how
- 22:35Ruth Garber Shere: do they know? I invested it.
- 22:37So So I made a she made money.
- 22:39And I made money. It's not
- 22:39Melissa Shere Beek: like in
- 22:40a shoe box somewhere. No. It's in the I invested and
- 22:43Ruth Garber Shere: I made more money. Then Then she had to pay taxes.
- 22:46Melissa Shere Beek: And then I had to
- 22:47Ruth Garber Shere: pay taxes. So I told daddy. And he said, well, you have a war chest?
- 22:50Ruth Garber Shere: That's so funny.
- 22:51Melissa Shere Beek: I do.
- 22:52Ruth Garber Shere: Good for
- 22:53Jessica Shere Coggins: you. Yeah. That's why it's never, I don't have a sister
- 22:55Ruth Garber Shere: in my mind. Started investing. I've got,
- 22:57Melissa Shere Beek: it's fine.
- 22:58Ruth Garber Shere: Straight off. First day. Okay.
- 23:01Mean, So, I'm speaking of daddy, oh what? Nothing.
- 23:03Is it under your name only?
- 23:06Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah, there's some.
- 23:06Ruth Garber Shere: Oh good, okay.
- 23:08Melissa Shere Beek: Mine's in my name and my children's name. So, if anything happens to me goes directly to them.
- 23:12Ruth Garber Shere: That's how mine was.
- 23:13Ruth Garber Shere: Except for them too.
- 23:15Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah. Was.
- 23:16Melissa Shere Beek: And we love our husbands. There's, we love our husbands. Just to be clear.
- 23:19Ruth Garber Shere: No mine was a shere family partnership. I had 85% and I gave each of you 5%.
- 23:24Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Thank you. On men because we're talking about daddy now. So when we were growing up, daddy let us do anything, right? And Ma, you had a multitude of rules, but daddy only had one rule for us and it came down to boys.
- 23:40Ruth Garber Shere: Oh gosh. Oh yeah.
- 23:41Melissa Shere Beek: They could never see the inside of your room. At least for me I'm going to say they could never pick me up in a truck or a van.
- 23:48Ruth Garber Shere: Or Jeep.
- 23:49Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh by me. Jeep was me.
- 23:51Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh a I Bronco. No.
- 23:53Ruth Garber Shere: No. We're talking about the rooftop kind of Jeep.
- 23:56Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, it was boys top of the was car. Because of safety. Daddy wouldn't let them come and pick me up in a truck or a van because he thought we like come in
- 24:05Ruth Garber Shere: any car. Just was that Jeep well Wrangler.
- 24:08Ruth Garber Shere: That daddy.
- 24:09Melissa Shere Beek: And they had to come to the door. Daddy said they had to come to the door and I wasn't allowed to answer the door. I had to be getting ready. And then daddy would take my dates into his private office and he'd be very nice, but he was still very intimidating to them. And he'd ask the boy where they were taking me and he would tell them what my Okay.
- 24:25Personal things changed. And then wait. Wait. And then after a short chat, he'd let me know that my date was there and I could finally like emerge. He'd give me 2 dimes in case I needed to call him from a pay phone if I wanted to be picked up.
- 24:37Jessica Shere Coggins: She's
- 24:38really aging
- 24:38Melissa Shere Beek: herself I care. And every single one of those boys had me home half hour before my curfew was up. So I always thought daddy was not the one the boys needed to be afraid of, that I thought it was the wrath of Ruth that they should have been feared. Sam and Jess, were daddy and Ma like that's No. You on dates
- 24:58Jessica Shere Coggins: Daddy was not like that with us.
- 24:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh he was like that. He greeted, I couldn't go to the door. Right. When my date came. He had, daddy had to open up the door first.
- 25:06Regardless of how late we were running. Yeah. He had to be there to open the door.
- 25:10Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh I think I opened the door at that point. I wasn't like that with me. My question
- 25:15Samantha Shere Sharpe: is was the dad's rule or your rule?
- 25:18Ruth Garber Shere: That was daddy. Yeah, thought it was daddy's rule Oh, that was daddy.
- 25:21Melissa Shere Beek: Because it ended up that I dated half of
- 25:22Ruth Garber Shere: I used to have three dates in one night when I was your age, when I was in high school.
- 25:27Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, that's Well, a
- 25:28Ruth Garber Shere: but you didn't do anything like they do nowadays.
- 25:31Melissa Shere Beek: No. Neither did I.
- 25:33Ruth Garber Shere: So I had one date mid afternoon, one around dinner, and one later on in the night.
- 25:38Melissa Shere Beek: You'd had go girl. Daddy made these rules for me because most of the boys that were coming to pick me up, he dated their mothers.
- 25:43Jessica Shere Coggins: No, I think I it was just think it was first kid, first.
- 25:47Samantha Shere Sharpe: No, no, Like on
- 25:48Ruth Garber Shere: top They of were like beach moms. And he knew that.
- 25:51Melissa Shere Beek: I dated a lot of
- 25:52Ruth Garber Shere: His girlfriends sons . They were faster on the beach than other places.
- 25:55Melissa Shere Beek: And that's why I couldn't come with it. They couldn't get into it if they had a truck or a van or any of those things.
- 25:59Jessica Shere Coggins: No I had no limit on cars. Had the mom had the rule about the no Jeep because it could flip.
- 26:05Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. That That that what daddy
- 26:06had In fact I had a friend who had one pick me up in
- 26:11a different car. We drove And got the Jeep.
- 26:14Melissa Shere Beek: And jumped into the Jeep. Okay. So my kids, we had the Jeep Rule too and my kids I believe that's true. Yeah. Okay.
- 26:23My kids tried No, they
- 26:24Ruth Garber Shere: changed it now.
- 26:24Melissa Shere Beek: They didn't want to, like, disappoint their friends who did have a Jeep. And then your next door neighbor, ma, and my next door neighbor both called me and said, do you know that your children got it? Because they must have had the same rule at their houses too.
- 26:38Ruth Garber Shere: We're hanging out of the Jeep.
- 26:39Melissa Shere Beek: Oh my god. No. They weren't hanging out of the jeep. They got into a jeep. But that they were
- 26:44Jessica Shere Coggins: And you got ratted on?
- 26:45Melissa Shere Beek: They my kids got ratted on, not me. It was very funny because
- 26:47Samantha Shere Sharpe: they That's so funny.
- 26:48Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. But it was really funny. So, yeah, the jeep rule continues.
- 26:51Jessica Shere Coggins: You have I had a guy in my room, but
- 26:53I couldn't have the door closed. Oh, there never a
- 26:55Ruth Garber Shere: good reason
- 26:55Melissa Shere Beek: why walked down the hallway.
- 26:56Ruth Garber Shere: What about that guy that came to the front door and I wouldn't let him in? Oh my God.
- 27:01Ruth Garber Shere: And he was at the glass door. Do you have room?
- 27:03Ruth Garber Shere: I'm not a serial murderer. I said, oh my God. You can't come in.
- 27:07Melissa Shere Beek: Why did how many Red Bulls did you have today, Ma?
- 27:10Ruth Garber Shere: Oh, that's not a good discussion right now.
- 27:12Jessica Shere Coggins: That's not a discussion. It
- 27:14Samantha Shere Sharpe: wasn't a discussion, it was a simple question.
- 27:16Melissa Shere Beek: Simple question. Yeah, she's on fire right now. Okay, what rules do you have for your kids?
- 27:22Samantha Shere Sharpe: Honesty, that's number one.
- 27:23Melissa Shere Beek: No, no, no, about dating.
- 27:25Jessica Shere Coggins: I I I but I'm
- 27:27gonna piggyback. Honesty, like I don't care what you do, I don't care Listen.
- 27:31Samantha Shere Sharpe: Just tell me. But I wish sometimes they do still lie.
- 27:35Jessica Shere Coggins: They do. I mean
- 27:36Samantha Shere Sharpe: I'm not gonna go down this deep deep thing but one of my girls dated a guy wasn't you know fond of but at some point I had to you know, I needed to keep her close and I went Yeah. And I had to break a lot of rules that I probably, I know my mother would have like, would have been like, he's never allowed in this house again, you're never allowed to talk to him again. And respect and
- 28:05all those things.
- 28:06I really I had to make a choice of, I know that if I said that to her that she couldn't see him ever again. I knew I was gonna lose her. So I had to
- 28:17Make a
- 28:17lot of Right, right. And I honestly would never change it. I would never. I guess it goes back to can't make a threat that I can't keep. Because I know if I threatened her that.
- 28:29Ruth Garber Shere: I wouldn't be able to hold it.
- 28:31Got it. So it was But you did the wise thing.
- 28:34Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah. I have another rule for my boys that they have
- 28:36to Listen be and I'm in a different sorry but
- 28:38Samantha Shere Sharpe: I also think she's gotten to a point where it did end badly but I think she's matured.
- 28:44Melissa Shere Beek: Learning experience
- 28:45Samantha Shere Sharpe: and I know that she they she can be in contact with him now where it's very different and it's a mature conversation. I think she grew a lot from that.
- 28:56I do. Think she grew a lot from that too. Right. Just I mean, joking. Was a learning
- 29:00experience. Any like listen I wish it never if it happened because it was not just the relationship it was other relationships that got affected. But I I honestly I would never do anything different. And people say to me, you were wrong. But I think it goes back to
- 29:17your rule.
- 29:18No one can tell you.
- 29:18Ruth Garber Shere: Not yours or yours.
- 29:19Samantha Shere Sharpe: But the rule that I created
- 29:20which was don't make a threat that you can't Right. Mean so many times I've wanted to threaten my kids and it just doesn't come out because I just hold back.
- 29:29Ruth Garber Shere: You know you wouldn't be able to keep it.
- 29:30Samantha Shere Sharpe: No, wouldn't. Yeah. I've never punished my kids once. I did.
- 29:34Jessica Shere Coggins: I grounded my kid. This week.
- 29:37Samantha Shere Sharpe: Really?
- 29:38Jessica Shere Coggins: And from a party too.
- 29:41Ruth Garber Shere: Really? See but I also
- 29:42Jessica Shere Coggins: feel like punishment needs He's asked me to several the
- 29:45times and
- 29:45I'm sticking to it.
- 29:46Samantha Shere Sharpe: The punishment needs to fix the crime also.
- 29:48Jessica Shere Coggins: Mine does.
- 29:50Ruth Garber Shere: Well good for you.
- 29:51Jessica Shere Coggins: I feel like you take the phone it becomes more of a punishment on you than it does on him. What? You're out of the picture. I You also know the one
- 30:02thing I did make my kids do which I really really liked. You like that rolly chair? I love, I would be all over this. Sorry for our listeners.
- 30:09Ruth Garber Shere: Jessie has a rolly
- 30:15Melissa Shere Beek: can't see you and they're just listening, you love a rolly chair and you are rolling in and out of frame in the studio. Love it. Okay. So Ma, now that you're dating, do you have any rules for yourself? Well,
- 30:27Ruth Garber Shere: We'll not
- 30:28meet her for House.
- 30:30Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah, meet them. No, wait, wait, can't come to the house. Let me just say anything that you can say that's appropriate to Why go on you
- 30:36come to the house?
- 30:37Melissa Shere Beek: I don't blame her for that. I like that.
- 30:39Jessica Shere Coggins: This session's definitely gonna be listened to, I'm just telling you.
- 30:42Ruth Garber Shere: I don't want them seeing A, where I live, the type of home I live in. Okay, but
- 30:48Melissa Shere Beek: that's fine.
- 30:49Ruth Garber Shere: I don't want them knocking on the door, therefore I have to, you know, okay come on in, let's have a drink, let's talk and then they drop
- 30:57Melissa Shere Beek: Okay, the off you're and rule is they you want meet them. Meet them. Yeah,
- 30:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: meet them. Okay.
- 31:00Melissa Shere Beek: I like that. I would meet them out too because I just
- 31:02If you want an escape. Yeah.
- 31:04Don't want to be beholden to being in somebody's car.
- 31:07Ruth Garber Shere: The only thing is I do is I tell her to give me a call or a text in the middle I of
- 31:12Melissa Shere Beek: I do in case she wants an escape room. Case I
- 31:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: wanted to And she
- 31:14Melissa Shere Beek: can say so and so My far got daughter called. Yeah. Now,
- 31:18Jessica Shere Coggins: I tell My kids that.
- 31:19I told my kids that before call me
- 31:21Samantha Shere Sharpe: or give me add something.
- 31:22Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, so funny. Sam, what were you going to say?
- 31:26Samantha Shere Sharpe: I don't know. The blonde moment has appeared.
- 31:29Melissa Shere Beek: Oh God. Okay. So growing up, I was not aware that other houses didn't operate like ours. In our house, there were no boundaries, there was no privacy. In our house, there were multiple generations of women giving unedited, uncensored, unfiltered opinions and advice about everything.
- 31:45And I mean everything. There were puberty poles that were given during carpool.
- 31:49Jessica Shere Coggins: Puberty poles?
- 31:51Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. When, when, and there were boys in my carpool when she would
- 31:53Ruth Garber Shere: ask them puberty how see
- 31:55Melissa Shere Beek: my girl? Still have friends who are traumatized. Yeah, mom would ask them puberty questions while Oh, in the Okay. And there was lots and lots of nakedness in every sense of Oh,
- 32:05Ruth Garber Shere: we were naked. Yes.
- 32:06Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. Many times. Inappropriate conversation. Oh, yes. You And were everyone spoke at once spoke
- 32:13Ruth Garber Shere: She's always always naked.
- 32:15Melissa Shere Beek: Okay, but I'm not naked when my kids' friends come over. Didn't know they were Ruth's famous family. I
- 32:20Ruth Garber Shere: know, you know what? Somebody give me
- 32:22Ruth Garber Shere: a heads up.
- 32:22Melissa Shere Beek: As you can can tell tell There's an open door policy in our house all the spoke over everyone at the same time. Wait. Wait. Wait.
- 32:31I can lose Yep. That's it. They beat me to the punchline. I was gonna say Ruthie's famous one liner is take a breath, lose a turn. So here are some other famous one liners that I remember from Ruthie, you all can chime in if you want.
- 32:44On babysitting, I don't do children till they can walk, talk, and tell me what they want.
- 32:48Jessica Shere Coggins: And I agree with that. Okay. They need a little bit of a personality. The newborns just don't work for me. I
- 32:53Ruth Garber Shere: know. I hired
- 32:54Ruth Garber Shere: a nurse soon as they were born and went to work for four months.
- 32:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. Do you came back after four months? Is that We
- 33:02Ruth Garber Shere: what came back after four months.
- 33:03Ruth Garber Shere: Okay.
- 33:03Ruth Garber Shere: Okay. No, was there every night.
- 33:05Ruth Garber Shere: I just want to.
- 33:06Ruth Garber Shere: The nurse lived in. Yeah. But I don't do babies.
- 33:08Melissa Shere Beek: And who was standing next to the nurse?
- 33:10Samantha Shere Sharpe: Mommy, you.
- 33:12Melissa Shere Beek: I know. Learned all the tricks from the nurse. I love the little babies.
- 33:15Ruth Garber Shere: I mean, I wanted more children also but I don't like babies. Okay.
- 33:20Melissa Shere Beek: On beauty.
- 33:20Ruth Garber Shere: I'm too, no, I'm too nervous about
- 33:25Listen, what I'm calling you know, it's the unknown because they can't
- 33:29Talk So,
- 33:30Jessica Shere Coggins: she freaks out. Yeah,
- 33:31Ruth Garber Shere: she does. I had a doctor come to the house, make a house, call your pedi pediatrician when you were a week old because you had an eyelash in And your I freaked out and it was was also
- 33:43Melissa Shere Beek: like 21, so. Get that.
- 33:44Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah, were young.
- 33:45Didn't know what to do probably.
- 33:47Melissa Shere Beek: On beauty, her rule is one mustn't do things to make yourself uglier. On dress code you
- 33:53Ruth Garber Shere: don't We always put your best face out there.
- 33:55Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. Go
- 33:57Ruth Garber Shere: ahead. If it's bad about me don't say it.
- 33:59Melissa Shere Beek: Time she I have preps it a by
- 34:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: Okay. And I
- 34:03don't think we've ever really discussed it.
- 34:04Melissa Shere Beek: To whom
- 34:05Ruth Garber Shere: do you
- 34:05Samantha Shere Sharpe: know I'm scared?
- 34:06Ruth Garber Shere: No no if it's bad don't.
- 34:07Samantha Shere Sharpe: We'll No, talk about it it's not bad. I would get in trouble in
- 34:12middle school Oh wait, all that's the this is the next one. You let me say it and then I you say know exactly what you're gonna say. The dress code is you don't leave the house without mascara. Oh yes. I make up Yes.
- 34:21And big No, no, But yes.
- 34:23Ruth Garber Shere: Even if you're going to work out. Eyeliner. Mhmm. No, I didn't do eyeliner.
- 34:27Samantha Shere Sharpe: No no no, but I many times was grounded, was punished because I would leave the house, I would go to school and I would put eyeliner And on my then before I got picked up at the end of the day I would remove it. I guess I didn't remove enough because the second you saw me you saw that I had eyeliner on and I'd be punished. Why?
- 34:48Ruth Garber Shere: Because I'm the eye makeup queen. Why were you doing something behind my back? Why didn't you just walk out of the house?
- 34:55Ruth Garber Shere: And you're lying with me and wouldn't let her. Because I did.
- 34:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: I was 13.
- 35:00Yeah. Of course you
- 35:00Ruth Garber Shere: wear mascara and makeup. Wouldn't let me.
- 35:03Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. Because you're 13.
- 35:04Ruth Garber Shere: No, no. Had no problem She didn't you were sneaking didn't like
- 35:08Ruth Garber Shere: that snuck. I didn't care if
- 35:11Samantha Shere Sharpe: you put the makeup look. I know that's what gonna say.
- 35:15Ruth Garber Shere: I could be on my deathbed and I'm putting on eye
- 35:16Melissa Shere Beek: I know, I
- 35:17Samantha Shere Sharpe: think know. You're so much prettier without me.
- 35:19Ruth Garber Shere: So I was thinking Okay. That's like a lie. You're sneaking and you're lying to me but you come home and the blacks dribbling
- 35:27Samantha Shere Sharpe: down Yeah. Your remember that a lot. She always had
- 35:29like dark hair. I remember it. I guess I would put it
- 35:32in my waterline. But just And it was blue too. Was really But
- 35:36Ruth Garber Shere: I didn't like that you were sneaking.
- 35:38Ruth Garber Shere: Okay.
- 35:39Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. That's it. On arts and crafts, not in my house. Play Doh gets under my nails.
- 35:44Ruth Garber Shere: No Play Doh,
- 35:45Ruth Garber Shere: no Glue. Yeah, Play Doh, Glue.
- 35:46Samantha Shere Sharpe: I'm glad I'm an arts and crafts woman.
- 36:03Melissa Shere Beek: I'm a take up yoga or something. No no no.
- 36:05Ruth Garber Shere: No. And she
- 36:06Melissa Shere Beek: calls me from the car and Remi and I are listening. She picks up and she goes, you know, this was just the most wonderful experience of my life. I am so zen. I get it now. I get how you're so calm.
- 36:17It's so wonderful. And then we hear, honk honk. Oh, yeah. Fuck you, Masshole. Move out of the way.
- 36:23She's kind of normal. She is so zen. So yeah.
- 36:27Jessica Shere Coggins: So I'm zen. You didn't come back from that trip really zen. You thought you were gonna say it.
- 36:31Samantha Shere Sharpe: I know. Like, four days. Yeah. I feel like it was like It was very
- 36:34Jessica Shere Coggins: quickly ended. You were like, wow. I think I could do this from now on. Yeah.
- 36:38It wouldn't last on me either. Did not at all. It wouldn't last. Okay. No.
- 36:42Ruth Garber Shere: Of course not.
- 36:43Melissa Shere Beek: No. On bodily functions there are none. Oh, never fart. No farting. Never fart.
- 36:48Nobody has farted.
- 36:49Jessica Shere Coggins: She's never farted or picked her nose
- 36:51Samantha Shere Sharpe: No, for her entire don't. Mom, you all explode.
- 36:53Jessica Shere Coggins: When you hold it in and you feel that pressure, what do you do?
- 36:56Ruth Garber Shere: I don't have it.
- 36:57It never happens. I don't have it. Oh wow. That's amazing.
- 37:01Ruth Garber Shere: If I have to go to
- 37:01Ruth Garber Shere: the bathroom, I go to the bathroom, but I don't have, I've never had gas.
- 37:06Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. I'm sure you have.
- 37:07Jessica Shere Coggins: Just can don't tell the story. No.
- 37:09Ruth Garber Shere: Don't know
- 37:10Jessica Shere Coggins: if we're allowed to say that on air. No. Yes, you can tell that story.
- 37:15Ruth Garber Shere: Absolutely not or I would totally pull my mic off.
- 37:18Samantha Shere Sharpe: Hey, hey, are you threatening? Throw your threatening. I can't come to a stop with. But the, okay, we won't tell that story, but there is another story where, well,
- 37:29Melissa Shere Beek: first before I tell another story, do you all have any one liners that you remember that mom has?
- 37:34Samantha Shere Sharpe: Not just the finger.
- 37:36Melissa Shere Beek: Oh yeah, the fingers and everything. That was like Yeah, your finger in Oh there
- 37:40Jessica Shere Coggins: was not a one liner but I remember she used to tell me
- 37:43After this, I'm gonna get home and think of all of them. Sorry. That we couldn't fill up
- 37:46our cars with gas. Like, were never allowed.
- 37:49Samantha Shere Sharpe: She wanted the message to it like this. Didn't like that. Well, daddy tells me that they never ATM or get cash or Actually Mason
- 37:56took Bria’s car yesterday to fill up with me. Right. So it reminded
- 37:59Ruth Garber Shere: me of Yeah. What Daddy
- 38:01Ruth Garber Shere: always told me. Yeah. Was low on gas
- 38:04Melissa Shere Beek: driving home park pool. What he thinks. You were
- 38:07Ruth Garber Shere: low on gas.
- 38:08Samantha Shere Sharpe: You just say you were low on gas? Oh, How many times have you like gotten like
- 38:14Jessica Shere Coggins: out out? Like good four or five.
- 38:16Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah. Okay.
- 38:17Melissa Shere Beek: So I thought that the first time you would have said.
- 38:20Samantha Shere Sharpe: No, no, Oh, did it really bad a year a year ago.
- 38:22Yeah. When she was on highway. That was was so shit. Yes, that's did it 08/26. 838 ended up in
- 38:29a little triangle. You know where everyone's whizzing? Thank God there was one.
- 38:32Jessica Shere Coggins: My car was locked and stopped. I could not move. Westbound. Oh, Always wanna get to half of a day. I can't
- 38:37drive up. This was scary.
- 38:39Car was lying to me.
- 38:40Ruth Garber Shere: This was scary. Oh, Your car was lying
- 38:42Melissa Shere Beek: to me. Okay. This is another reason. Oh, the fire hydrant hit me? Right.
- 38:45The fire hydrant jumped out and hit you. Car lied
- 38:48Ruth Garber Shere: I'm lost to name.
- 38:49Melissa Shere Beek: The best the best story is when she pulls out of the car dealership and she takes like a side of the of the She says
- 38:55Jessica Shere Coggins: she doesn't lie but she white lies. No I didn't lie
- 38:58Ruth Garber Shere: just in paying
- 38:59Ruth Garber Shere: attention to her.
- 39:01Ruth Garber Shere: I'm paying attention
- 39:02Jessica Shere Coggins: to She
- 39:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: thinks she's like this tiny little girl that hides. I love it. Nobody sees her.
- 39:05Melissa Shere Beek: Ahma, did I leave any rules out? There's so many and I can't think of I know, there's something for everything.
- 39:10Ruth Garber Shere: Definitely it was the greeting, like
- 39:12Jessica Shere Coggins: you can't open up the door for your date. Oh yeah. Mean, we all started having an Arnold's Burger King growing up. Because you don't have sugar cereal.
- 39:19Samantha Shere Sharpe: And I had Diet Coke. I could never
- 39:20Jessica Shere Coggins: have No.
- 39:21No. No.
- 39:24Samantha Shere Sharpe: Had we had we Cheerios. We're those great nuts. Great. And but
- 39:30Jessica Shere Coggins: I put a ton of sugar.
- 39:32I would get like a bowl of fruit.
- 39:33And then with my rice krispies.
- 39:35I was like
- 39:35I do a lot of sugar. Cheerios corn. My
- 39:37Melissa Shere Beek: I Grew Up honeycomb, apple Jacks cereal.
- 39:39Jessica Shere Coggins: No. Only my grape nuts. Only my Oh,
- 39:41Samantha Shere Sharpe: it with every cereal. No.
- 39:43Melissa Shere Beek: I had sugar cereal. The only one time she tried to do something new with me is when read that liver and onions was really great. And so she made a plate of liver and onions and I could not eat it. And sun had long gone down, it was like 10:00 and I kept like trying to feed the dog.
- 39:56Jessica Shere Coggins: Wait, we have so many rules.
- 39:58We all had to sit at
- 39:59the table at night and eat dinner. Was lovely.
- 40:01Melissa Shere Beek: But that was a good one. That was a Well, a lot of them were good. We had dinner together every single night.
- 40:05Jessica Shere Coggins: We had threw out our vegetables. Yes.
- 40:08Always try And then actually I didn't want
- 40:09Ruth Garber Shere: you to eat like I ate. So that's why I made those full meals.
- 40:13Ruth Garber Shere: Which is really funny because I don't think.
- 40:15Samantha Shere Sharpe: No, I wish I could do that.
- 40:16Ruth Garber Shere: And you know your father?
- 40:18Melissa Shere Beek: Our schedules weren't as crazy as our kids' schedules Yeah. I'm going say that too. At that time, we were home running around on the Right. Couldn't have dinner together. There were no after school activities.
- 40:30Like basketball starts at seven. That didn't Right. Right. No. Because when we played basketball, we cheerlead for the basketball or the football teams.
- 40:38Was right after school. So then we would at least have dinner later. So you could have that dinner rule. Mean, I think hard to implement nowadays. I think it is, but.
- 40:48Ruth Garber Shere: It was really nice.
- 40:49Melissa Shere Beek: I do too. So the one rule that I think is super super silly Ma, is that you never admit your age. I really think that you should be proud and own it. Okay. You keep getting so much younger each year that you've now just
- 41:01Jessica Shere Coggins: My owned friends keep on asking
- 41:03how much she
- 41:04is and I say she's permanently 75.
- 41:06Yeah, but she Permanently.
- 41:07Melissa Shere Beek: But at this point she's getting so much younger that she's disowned me. Well, me. No, you've disowned me.
- 41:13Ruth Garber Shere: No, I'm a
- 41:14Ruth Garber Shere: teenage bride. Do you have
- 41:16Melissa Shere Beek: any rules that you think are silly, Ruthie rules that you think?
- 41:20Jessica Shere Coggins: I appreciate them more probably now.
- 41:22Melissa Shere Beek: As a mom? Yeah. Yeah.
- 41:23Jessica Shere Coggins: You mean, do I have any rules in my house?
- 41:25Melissa Shere Beek: No, any of her rules that you thought were totally silly.
- 41:31Jessica Shere Coggins: I probably wish I implemented more. And Ma, do you do you have any rules you decided are no longer necessary? No, because I believe Well, you're better with that, I think. That
- 41:42one She can't
- 41:43be homeless anymore.
- 41:44Ruth Garber Shere: But on the rules that I feel are tantamount to me. If you bend so much you'll break. Got it. So, that's why I always thought my rules were important. There were things that I listened.
- 42:02There were certain rules that I had and I knew you were going to lie which is the worst thing. But I also knew you were going to screw up in school or you're going to experiment with drugs or smoke grass. You know have weed or do things that I didn't want you to do earlier sexually than I thought was important. And those were the things I could bend on. My important rules I knew that I could not bend I would break.
- 42:34Ruth Garber Shere: I think your value. I think who you are
- 42:37is what you've implemented the most. Yeah your morals and Why I think you all three of you have
- 42:42excellent And think that that my kids have. I've made sure that
- 42:46Ruth Garber Shere: they Excellent values.
- 42:47Samantha Shere Sharpe: They I know that they can be the biggest bitches in my house but the moment they walk away and they're kind I
- 42:52Melissa Shere Beek: know I've done something right. Well what I was gonna ask you like what rules do
- 42:56Ruth Garber Shere: you have for
- 42:56Jessica Shere Coggins: your Yeah, that there's respect I find myself like more and more making sure I say thank you like somebody hoping open the door. Kind of One of my biggest pet peeves is somebody you open the door for them and they don't say thank you but I you know
- 43:10Ruth Garber Shere: I usually say like you're welcome.
- 43:12Jessica Shere Coggins: Had there was a gift that was ordered for for one of my kids and I went to go pick it up today and she lost it and I was like, I can't really be mad like
- 43:21Ruth Garber Shere: No that happens.
- 43:21Samantha Shere Sharpe: I'm like it's okay and she kept apologizing and I was like, you know I feel like being empathetic. Enjoying my kids what empathy is. Things And
- 43:31Melissa Shere Beek: know That's good.
- 43:32Samantha Shere Sharpe: Being respectful. Be like that.
- 43:33Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah I was like that.
- 43:34Samantha Shere Sharpe: I can't
- 43:34Ruth Garber Shere: It's It's thing.
- 43:36Ruth Garber Shere: It's thing it's That's worst piece.
- 43:38Melissa Shere Beek: That's the
- 43:38Ruth Garber Shere: one thing I did learn from And then Nanny she called me and she actually get another somebody else in that and the jewelers had it. But it's
- 43:45Ruth Garber Shere: a thing. Nanny Rose that was one of the things that she taught me. Right. It's only a thing. Right.
- 43:50What's important is us and the family and caring, helping the world. I just want make
- 43:58Samantha Shere Sharpe: sure my kids go out there and they're respectful. And
- 44:00Ruth Garber Shere: they do. You. Your kids
- 44:02Ruth Garber Shere: Hello. Do Goodbye.
- 44:03Ruth Garber Shere: And your kids do too.
- 44:05Melissa Shere Beek: I live by the rule of gratitude and kindness. Always gratitude and kindness.
- 44:10Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah. I think all three of you have raised
- 44:12Samantha Shere Sharpe: And I hope my kids listen to me when I do it in front of them.
- 44:15Ruth Garber Shere: That's what Oh I they do. You're wonderful examples for all of them. I have to say I love you three more than anything in the world and those eight children are I don't know I am just so proud of them as human beings who are empathetic who are kind who are caring who are loving And when I see them all together it's like when we were there Thanksgiving every single one of them like said to me or texted me or called me and said this is the best time we've ever had. We had a call together. Was every one of them came back to me.
- 44:57Melissa Shere Beek: It was one of the We were going try to at
- 44:59Ruth Garber Shere: my house but it wasn't going to be the same and I just wanted to leave it like the way that they left it on those couches
- 45:04Melissa Shere Beek: It because that was nice.
- 45:05Samantha Shere Sharpe: We stayed there super late. Had of fun. We
- 45:08Ruth Garber Shere: hours. Then in a long Yeah.
- 45:10Jessica Shere Coggins: Long Right.
- 45:11Melissa Shere Beek: And they're all a little older now. Right. So it's different. So they're
- 45:14kind the same. They're the same. There's not a baby anymore. Well. Meyer still a baby.
- 45:20So, most importantly I wanted to ask what we've each learned from the other. So, Ma, what have you learned from the three of us? Sam, what have you learned from Ma, Jess and me? Jess, what have you learned from Sam and I?
- 45:33Ruth Garber Shere: Why don't you go first? I'll go
- 45:34Jessica Shere Coggins: first. Go first. I will say I've learned support and love and care.
- 45:41Melissa Shere Beek: Aw, that sounds great.
- 45:42Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah, know it's super important. When shit Yeah.
- 45:44When stuff goes down We've heard
- 45:46worse. You guys rally. Like you rally and you rally hard. We It's amazing. It's amazing.
- 45:51Ruth Garber Shere: We're all mama bears.
- 45:53Jessica Shere Coggins: And it ebbs and it flows and it just goes like when it just works. It works.
- 45:58Samantha Shere Sharpe: It works very well. Got your back. It works very well.
- 46:00Jessica Shere Coggins: It's very nice to have that. So, think I think think know I mean that's just generalizing.
- 46:07Samantha Shere Sharpe: Right. There's a lot more behind. Okay.
- 46:09Ruth Garber Shere: Think that's what I learned. What? That all three of you were like glued to my side through everything. With daddy or With daddy with yes so supportive so caring and so
- 46:26Melissa Shere Beek: Our father was very sick so it's like seventeen years of.
- 46:30Ruth Garber Shere: A roller coaster.
- 46:31Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah.
- 46:31Samantha Shere Sharpe: Well I think what I learned from you mom is never take no for an answer.
- 46:36Jessica Shere Coggins: Is See I missed that part with you daddy.
- 46:38Like I gotta say those years I wasn't here.
- 46:41Melissa Shere Beek: You were
- 46:41Ruth Garber Shere: in college and you were in New York. Right.
- 46:43Jessica Shere Coggins: So that part I kind of missed It a lot
- 46:45Melissa Shere Beek: was Which was probably better for me.
- 46:46Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah. I changed my well because of it. Like never take no for an answer.
- 46:50Samantha Shere Sharpe: Like I just Mhmm.
- 46:51I will never if if someone I think as tough as you are. I think the one thing you never took no for an answer. Any doctor that's a nerdy
- 47:03Jessica Shere Coggins: That is very true. You went to another
- 47:06And I don't think that works for everybody. Don't know
- 47:09Samantha Shere Sharpe: you have to personally in the mindset.
- 47:10But you just never took. Well I can't remember. As we say stubborn. You were stubborn and you never took no. I don't know if it's something you just didn't believe in for dad or that's how you truly truly are.
- 47:23Ruth Garber Shere: I think Yeah
- 47:24no I don't take no.
- 47:26Ruth Garber Shere: I I know I think you have to You can never give up. Have to just keep going.
- 47:31Ruth Garber Shere: But daddy It's kind of like Yeah.
- 47:33Ruth Garber Shere: So, I know you don't want to get into this, but I think about the people who who were in the holocaust and what they went through and how they survived.
- 47:47Jessica Shere Coggins: Mom.
- 47:47Ruth Garber Shere: The most terrible things but if they could go through that then I could go through anything I think it's very So that's
- 47:55Melissa Shere Beek: what I learned from you. I learned strength and resilience.
- 47:58Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah.
- 47:59Melissa Shere Beek: Yes. From you, I learned strength and resilience. And from Sam and Jess,
- 48:02Jessica Shere Coggins: I We didn't have this question before to think about it, just FYI.
- 48:05Melissa Shere Beek: None of these questions Before to think about But I thought about it.
- 48:08But what
- 48:08Samantha Shere Sharpe: I learned from the two of you, I haven't said that.
- 48:10Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Do you want to go ahead? I know.
- 48:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: Well for Sissie I feel like she's always been the eldest. So it's like she was always like respect. To be respect Jessica, is kids gloves like I have to like not repeat myself and I don't mind but I feel like over like recently I feel I like I love explaining things to her like I feel like you need And you can
- 48:35Jessica Shere Coggins: go for it.
- 48:35Samantha Shere Sharpe: And and I like she's the baby. So I feel like I'm definitely smack in the middle where I've got older sister and young. But I will say what I do love about this and sorry mom is that you know, I know there was a little rift the other day with one kid and we get a text message like, heads up, mom's on the roll.
- 48:56Jessica Shere Coggins: We got we got prewarned. Yeah we got prewarned.
- 48:59Samantha Shere Sharpe: You know, like you may be next. And I love
- 49:02Ruth Garber Shere: that. I don't know when this
- 49:04Samantha Shere Sharpe: happens. I love I love this relationship that we have.
- 49:08Melissa Shere Beek: It's funny about the sisterhood that we have.
- 49:10Samantha Shere Sharpe: We do.
- 49:10Ruth Garber Shere: Yes. And I don't know when I was on the warpath last.
- 49:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: A couple days ago. It's tricky anytime you're on the warpath. I mean, it's we give each other a heads up. Yeah. The whole point is we just give them one We
- 49:20Ruth Garber Shere: just walk down the hall and I would hear
- 49:22Because The doors, you're hard. Because you're here. You didn't find it. I was
- 49:29Melissa Shere Beek: looking for a fight.
- 49:31Yes. We have. We submitted that. I know. As you heard it here first.
- 49:35Yeah. Really? We were wearing a Maraboo slipper.
- 49:38Jessica Shere Coggins: Wait. You really like that?
- 49:40Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah. She still She still is.
- 49:43Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah. But do you like you know that you do that? Or is it just the energy that needs
- 49:47Samantha Shere Sharpe: to get out? She said, mhmm. Under her breath.
- 49:50Jessica Shere Coggins: Like you purposely know you're going to Yeah. Take a
- 49:52Oh, that's terrible mom.
- 49:54Ruth Garber Shere: Okay Jess, what did you Why do you
- 49:55Ruth Garber Shere: think I yelled at daddy?
- 49:56Okay. Could never get a rise out
- 49:58Ruth Garber Shere: of him. Did that already. She was the first to go.
- 50:00Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah. I said I didn't
- 50:01realize it. You didn't realize it.
- 50:02Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. So for Sam and Jess, I was profoundly affected by your birth. So when Sam was born, I was almost seven and I learned all about mothering you. Feeding you, reading to you, teaching you. You were really like my first baby.
- 50:18Ruth Garber Shere: You were six and a
- 50:18Ruth Garber Shere: half. Exactly.
- 50:20Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yes, I know that. I said four Oh wait, wait, but couple
- 50:23of days.
- 50:23There was three days difference. Yeah, was almost seven. I get really Oh I'm like, what are you talking about? Okay. She's the
- 50:30twenty first, I'm the twenty fifth, so four days.
- 50:32Melissa Shere Beek: But you were my first baby. So I learned all about mothering from you and from the nanny that mom hired because
- 50:40Samantha Shere Sharpe: Funny she had I learned something everything about being a mother to your daughter.
- 50:43Melissa Shere Beek: Really? That's so funny.
- 50:44Samantha Shere Sharpe: That's really funny. I've never like we've never discussed this really.
- 50:47Melissa Shere Beek: And then and then Jess when mom was pregnant with you, I learned to do what I call Gd talk. Because, and I still do GD talk like every day, all day, all the time. Because mom was very sick with you when she was pregnant with you. We weren't sure like, if And you all were gonna be I was 10 at the time, ten and two weeks, if you wanna be specific, Ma. And I very distinctly remember starting God talk as a child then.
- 51:18And at night I would thank Gd and I would ask him to protect you and to pray for your health and your well-being. And to this day, I wake up with gratitude, thanking Gd. At night, I pray to Gd and I talk and I talk all day through about everything in details and in specifics, but prayer for healing for all of those that are sick and praying for humanity. But I remember very specifically when you were taught, when, before you were born, that's when I started GD talk. Mean, that's what I say but that's how I was profoundly affected by So both of from Sam, learned how to be a mommy.
- 51:53And from Jess, I learned more about getting in touch with, you know, Gd and spiritualness. Yeah. So I
- 52:00Ruth Garber Shere: was really I do Gd talk every day.
- 52:02Melissa Shere Beek: I was really affected by both
- 52:04Ruth Garber Shere: of Oh, wow. Sometimes at night it goes so long, I fall asleep and then I wake up and I go, my God, have to finish.
- 52:09Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. All my prayers. Yeah. Okay. Anything else we left out, ladies?
- 52:14Samantha Shere Sharpe: No quickie questions?
- 52:15Melissa Shere Beek: I am getting to That
- 52:15Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, I have to use the ladies room really quickly.
- 52:17Am I allowed to?
- 52:18Ruth Garber Shere: No. We're all just so good. They're very quick. Look at that face. Okay.
- 52:22Melissa Shere Beek: Most embarrassing moment growing up.
- 52:26Samantha Shere Sharpe: Oh, wait I didn't want
- 52:29me to go there? Go there, I know it.
- 52:32Oh no, I'm afraid. Oh, you know it too. I mean I had a friend over. Were watching. Oh that wasn't good enough.
- 52:40I'm talking about you embarrassing I'm giving out information. I'm talking about you and the kid That's not on embarrassing me, I didn't give a shit about that. I'm talking about what you did that embarrassed me. Okay. Was it you?
- 52:52Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah it was all about. Yeah. But Samantha's gonna speak for us.
- 52:54Samantha Shere Sharpe: Well, I was watching TV with a friend of the Oh couch jeez in the you're not famous.
- 52:58Am I going there? I'm going there people.
- 53:01Jessica Shere Coggins: I think we've already brought this up.
- 53:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: The TV was a great movie eventually.
- 53:05Was a great movie I was watching because back in those days, was VHS and you just recorded off the TV and all of a sudden
- 53:11Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, no. She's going somewhere I told you. She's going there.
- 53:14Samantha Shere Sharpe: It's a two in one story.
- 53:16Melissa Shere Beek: Oh, shit.
- 53:18Samantha Shere Sharpe: And the TV went the TV went to snow.
- 53:21It's the night It was safe.
- 53:23I see is Well, don't stop.
- 53:25I thought you were going there. I thought you were gonna map me oh, there you go somewhere. I'm not allowed to say it now. The next thing I know I said to you is my mother comes running out, puts her hands in front of the TV to block whatever we are watching. Today.
- 53:38And she was naked. And didn't know anybody was sitting
- 53:43Ruth Garber Shere: on I was ahead Kim Kardashian.
- 53:46Jessica Shere Coggins: Mom. Okay. Well, Kardashian.
- 53:49Samantha Shere Sharpe: It's huge love. Doesn't say anybody loves it. Okay. So basically my mother comes out with a friend next to me on the couch .
- 53:56She didn't notice the friend. She didn't know the friend was there. We didn't even a warning. She let him No, no. I
- 54:01Jessica Shere Coggins: think my most embarrassing might have been throwing
- 54:03No, up at no, that no.
- 54:04Ruth Garber Shere: Have to, I have
- 54:05Ruth Garber Shere: to Wait, test I got.
- 54:07Ruth Garber Shere: I have to preface this by saying Yes,
- 54:10said over. One second. Sorry.
- 54:13Ruth Garber Shere: I did not know anyone was there. Yeah. And I came out of the bedroom which I came up the two steps.
- 54:19Jessica Shere Coggins: But you always wear these silky loose robes too.
- 54:21Melissa Shere Beek: That whoopsie fall open.
- 54:23Jessica Shere Coggins: That don't
- 54:23Ruth Garber Shere: look No. But this time I did not have on a
- 54:25Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, we know that. But she's still wearing
- 54:28those Maribou heels.
- 54:29Ruth Garber Shere: I'm still wearing the Maribou heels. On the right side is the playroom. Mhmm.
- 54:33Melissa Shere Beek: We know.
- 54:34Ruth Garber Shere: I know that was somebody else in the room. Yeah.
- 54:37That's true. You should say that.
- 54:38Ruth Garber Shere: I went, ah. And the kid went, ah.
- 54:49Melissa Shere Beek: Jess, most embarrassing moment growing up.
- 54:51Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, don't know, I have to think about it. Okay. I don't have one off the top of my head. Okay, mine was too There's many many.
- 54:58Because there were Why, bowls beyond in embarrassing moment?
- 55:00Ruth Garber Shere: I mean the
- 55:00Jessica Shere Coggins: most recent one I can
- 55:01think of, no. Maybe when
- 55:03Ruth Garber Shere: you puked in car in the cabin?
- 55:04Jessica Shere Coggins: I guess puking because my other Mercy Moon is
- 55:06where I puked
- 55:07the other time at
- 55:08the place that I was at.
- 55:10Ruth Garber Shere: What about when you were in the airplane and you stood up
- 55:12Jessica Shere Coggins: to I the puked everywhere.
- 55:13I threw up.
- 55:14Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. It just goes. Favorite journey?
- 55:17Ruth Garber Shere: Oh geez. Oh, that's a good one.
- 55:19Jessica Shere Coggins: I'm gonna tell you mine, but I don't remember it very well.
- 55:22Okay. It's Colorado when I was young.
- 55:24Melissa Shere Beek: Oh,
- 55:24Jessica Shere Coggins: nice. I remember the smell. Uh-huh. I remember the brown staircase. Remember sleeping With
- 55:29Samantha Shere Sharpe: the cones?
- 55:29Jessica Shere Coggins: Throwing something up and down the stairs.
- 55:32Yes. I do. Remember it certain points in that trip very clearly.
- 55:37Ruth Garber Shere: I rented a two
- 55:38Ruth Garber Shere: story I town remember that.
- 55:40I remember because the stairs was
- 55:41Jessica Shere Coggins: right And down and the door there were holes in between the like little pockets. I do remember that very.
- 55:45Ruth Garber Shere: Mean there's
- 55:46been a
- 55:46Jessica Shere Coggins: lot of amazing trips since then but for some reason that one. And I was very little.
- 55:49Melissa Shere Beek: Sam favorite journey?
- 55:51Samantha Shere Sharpe: I mean I feel like this my favorite place I visit but besides Venice I absolutely love Venice. For some of them was Prague but like you took us there.
- 56:00Ruth Garber Shere: You thought you had lived in Venice in another life.
- 56:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: I love Venice. There's no, and Pompeii. And I've got a lot of journeys. But in terms of, I also think when we when we did Paws Up.
- 56:11Jessica Shere Coggins: I do
- 56:12like Paws
- 56:12Up too.
- 56:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: We wore our wore our Hanukkah shirts and she had a whole photo session.
- 56:18Melissa Shere Beek: Had a crazy Kardashian photo too.
- 56:21Samantha Shere Sharpe: Was kind of fun too.
- 56:22Jessica Shere Coggins: I have very good memories from Paws Up too.
- 56:23Ruth Garber Shere: Oh yeah you and that. Well besides the first day.
- 56:26Melissa Shere Beek: I get to my Nobody talks to you on the first day of any trip so that's okay.
- 56:30Ruth Garber Shere: My
- 56:30Ruth Garber Shere: favorite journey? This whole journey.
- 56:33No just being with you guys. I don't care where I go as long as I have you.
- 56:36Jessica Shere Coggins: But do you not have, do you like is there a specific
- 56:38Maybe time that
- 56:39you Daddy, there's a story with Daddy when you traveled across California in his truck. Okay. No.
- 56:46Ruth Garber Shere: Oh, Madonna Inn. That's
- 56:47Ruth Garber Shere: love what he was
- 56:48Madonna Inn.
- 56:49Ruth Garber Shere: Daddy and I love Madonna Inn.
- 56:51Melissa Shere Beek: You were stoned out of your mind
- 56:52Jessica Shere Coggins: No, wasn't. No, no.
- 56:54Melissa Shere Beek: The first time they were stoned
- 56:56out of their mind.
- 56:56Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, went there before us?
- 56:58Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah, that's why we had to go Back
- 57:00Ruth Garber Shere: From We were in the barrel room.
- 57:03Jessica Shere Coggins: What's the barrel room?
- 57:04Ruth Garber Shere: Barrels all night barrels on the walls and the bathroom
- 57:07Jessica Shere Coggins: What was the second room?
- 57:09Ruth Garber Shere: The second one was Chinese.
- 57:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: China you meant. China.
- 57:15Ruth Garber Shere: It was all beautiful floral wallpaper and red lacquer furniture.
- 57:21Melissa Shere Beek: I didn't say when we went back there I slept in my clothes. It crazy. Jessica locked herself.
- 57:27Jessica Shere Coggins: I didn't go to dinner. I
- 57:33Melissa Shere Beek: remember that. Oh, The caramels were so good. Were
- 57:34Samantha Shere Sharpe: the best.
- 57:35And you
- 57:35know Mason, I went back a couple years ago.
- 57:37Yeah. No, you didn't have way. We didn't
- 57:38stay there.
- 57:39I feel like I'm gonna start to stay there now.
- 57:43Ruth Garber Shere: Wish if I could kick my wrist Okay.
- 57:44Melissa Shere Beek: Favorite journey is anywhere with my daughters. Okay. One Ruthie rule you still And live your sisters. Yeah.
- 57:52I, the one rule is this. Is this The Ruthie Show? Can get your own podcast.
- 57:56Samantha Shere Sharpe: My one rule still is don't lie. Because I think once you lie it just really
- 58:00messes Always every single thing always important. Yeah you can handle the
- 58:05truth. Had an
- 58:08the other day with
- 58:09my girls and I sat down and said listen it's just the truth is all I care about.
- 58:12Melissa Shere Beek: So is that the rule you live by too? Sure. Okay mom, what's your Ruthie rule you still live by? Yeah, yeah.
- 58:18Ruth Garber Shere: No lying. Like I can deal with anything just tell me what it
- 58:22Ruth Garber Shere: is Yeah and we'll work through
- 58:24Melissa Shere Beek: because once you lie then it's you always have to follow-up Yeah, lot of you have to remember a story. Okay. Who is your favorite matriarch? It could be real or fictional and why? Real or fictional?
- 58:37Yeah. It could be like one of your grandmother's great grandmother's great great grandmother's or it could be like a matriarch from history or from a book or
- 58:45Jessica Shere Coggins: I know you guys are gonna think I'm like really That's
- 58:47for saying it. But
- 58:49I'm gonna say mom. Yeah. Okay. Good.
- 58:51Melissa Shere Beek: Wonderful.
- 58:52Yeah. And why?
- 58:53Jessica Shere Coggins: I don't think I would
- 58:54be where I was today without like her and all you guys.
- 58:56Melissa Shere Beek: Aw. Thank you
- 58:58Ruth Garber Shere: Thank you. That's I'm gonna cry.
- 59:00Ruth Garber Shere: Besides you, I think I would say Nanny Rose.
- 59:02Samantha Shere Sharpe: Yeah.
- 59:02She was spunk beyond spunk beyond I
- 59:05Jessica Shere Coggins: I don’t remember her
- 59:05that much.
- 59:05Samantha Shere Sharpe: She first of I had a major connection with her. Yeah. She loved my room. She would always store everything in my room.
- 59:12Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh, that's right.
- 59:13Samantha Shere Sharpe: And she would accuse of stealing it but she just there I everybody stole remember she was tiny tiny ass lady who just had it all. Like there was just charisma of her. She can get on a dance floor and get to dance and everybody loved her. She could steal from the from the Mayor. The mayor and she wouldn't get in trouble.
- 59:36And she played it off and
- 59:37That's how the just
- 59:41you know, she lived day by day and she just loved life and there there's nobody like Nanny Rose. Yeah. Yeah, nobody Nobody.
- 59:49Ruth Garber Shere: And then Ana loved you.
- 59:50Samantha Shere Sharpe: Know Nanny but Nanny Rose was was always wondered how her hair went in that bun.
- 59:56Ruth Garber Shere: But maybe I pulled it off. It was down to her waist.
- 59:58Samantha Shere Sharpe: I know. But she washed
- 1:00:01it with soap and And put put poncellar.
- 1:00:02Ruth Garber Shere: Cold cream on her face.
- 1:00:03Melissa Shere Beek: Okay. Who's yours Ma?
- 1:00:09Ruth Garber Shere: I'm impressed by all three of you.
- 1:00:11Jessica Shere Coggins: No no no but you have to pick someone.
- 1:00:12You meet a lot too Ma.
- 1:00:15Ruth Garber Shere: A matriarch would be Nanny Roser Baba. Mhmm. Or go someone like Golda Meir. She became a prime minister and she ruled the country and she took it through a war and she helped to get established and settled and
- 1:00:34Melissa Shere Beek: Okay good.
- 1:00:35Ruth Garber Shere: Didn't screw around with her.
- 1:00:36Melissa Shere Beek: Mine was Nana Rose too because she was resilient. She had a really really really hard life. I already said that she came over here on a boat when she was 11. But she was so strong and so brave to do the things that she did. And no matter the hardships that she suffered and the heartache and the homelessness, and she persevered.
- 1:00:59And she took great pride and love in her family, which was the most important thing in the world to her. I had her with me till I was 25. She made a huge impression on my life.
- 1:01:09Ruth Garber Shere: And she stayed with me.
- 1:01:10Melissa Shere Beek: Yeah. She was
- 1:01:11Ruth Garber Shere: with So she with you all.
- 1:01:13Jessica Shere Coggins: I don't remember. Well, when
- 1:01:15Melissa Shere Beek: Before you guys came around and I would spend weekends with her and nanny poppy because you and daddy would travel or do whatever. She was like the greatest playmate. Sam said she was little. She wasn't even like four nine but as well when I was a kid I the think your TV would would Go off TV
- 1:01:33Ruth Garber Shere: tiny. She was tinier than Stella.
- 1:01:35Melissa Shere Beek: TV would go off and then it would go static after Yeah. There's certain time. After the anthem and everything like that. That was like when the show would go on right then because she would jump on the bed because we were in twin beds next to each other and then she'd start belting out songs performing.
- 1:01:52Ruth Garber Shere: She had,
- 1:01:53Ruth Garber Shere: she traveled all over the world. She was a fabulous singer. Yeah. She traveled to Europe, everywhere. She went to the White House, she just sang.
- 1:02:03She just had the most beautiful voice.
- 1:02:05Melissa Shere Beek: And the last thing about her that I always on my dresser in the morning when I'm getting ready. She was a pretty ballsy person too. And she came back from Paris one time from singing and she had an ostrich feather that she wasn't supposed to have in a hat was And got off the plane. In LaGuardia. She got off the plane wearing it and I have a picture of her and she has her chin up with a big smile.
- 1:02:35Oh And my she's wearing this fabulous hat with this ostrich feather just like I'm going to take life on my terms.
- 1:02:42Ruth Garber Shere: Yeah it was as And well
- 1:02:44Melissa Shere Beek: I love that. And yeah she wasn't allowed but she was doing life
- 1:02:46Yeah on her own terms
- 1:02:47good for her.
- 1:02:48Ruth Garber Shere: My mother
- 1:02:48Ruth Garber Shere: went crazy because we were waiting for her and you saw them then you came down the stairs. Didn't.
- 1:02:53Melissa Shere Beek: It was like you didn't what pictures you were talking Yeah, she didn't
- 1:02:56Ruth Garber Shere: in my house. People get dressed to go on airplanes.
- 1:02:58Melissa Shere Beek: Well, we used to. That's the whole thing.
- 1:02:59Jessica Shere Coggins: They want people now
- 1:03:00to get dressed back up.
- 1:03:01Melissa Shere Beek: Those are the quickie questions. Those are
- 1:03:06Ruth Garber Shere: quickie questions.
- 1:03:07Melissa Shere Beek: Very I added everything I could.
- 1:03:11Jessica Shere Coggins: Is there anything we missed mom?
- 1:03:12Samantha Shere Sharpe: Is there anything that we've done that we that you would have been like, oh I would have done it differently.
- 1:03:18Jessica Shere Coggins: Oh gd yes. With us?
- 1:03:20Ruth Garber Shere: Well maybe not you. Yeah. Yeah but we live and we learn. Think I think what happened to you made you so much stronger.
- 1:03:28Jessica Shere Coggins: Yeah. Oh yeah. I I think it changed me in a lot of ways.
- 1:03:31Ruth Garber Shere: Oh for sure.
- 1:03:31Melissa Shere Beek: I think all of our experiences are learning. Oh I totally do. I think everything's meant to happen some form or another. It Is may happen
- 1:03:38Ruth Garber Shere: there anything you all would change about me?
- 1:03:41Jessica Shere Coggins: No, but I do have a question. What rule would you give all of us that you would like us to fall that we don't do?
- 1:03:47Ruth Garber Shere: Oh, no but you do do it. Just stick together. When I go, I want to know that all of you
- 1:03:53Melissa Shere Beek: We stick together.
- 1:03:54Ruth Garber Shere: Stay together, love each other, and take care of each other.
- 1:03:58Melissa Shere Beek: We go together. Okay. To our listeners, thank you so much. Grateful you are here. Keep listening.
- 1:04:07Keep learning. Keep laughing. Keep up with Beek on Being, and stay well, everyone. Listen to Beek on Being wherever you get your podcast. All episodes are automatically transcribed.
- 1:04:16A big shout out and a huge thank you to Stephen Chen from Pant House Studios. Follow Beek on being on Instagram for the latest. To share ideas, thoughts, suggestions, or nominated guests, DM us. Want exclusive content, behind the scenes stories and listener links? Subscribe.
- 1:04:33Beek on Being was recorded at Penthouse Studios and is a proud member of the Penthouse Podcast Network.
- 1:04:39Ruth Garber Shere: Thank you.