Latest / The Starfish Storytellers / Episode 12: Senior Stories: Celebrating Lives Well-Lived with Alison Czervenschi

Transcript

Episode 12: Senior Stories: Celebrating Lives Well-Lived with Alison Czervenschi · The Starfish Storytellers

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Starfish Storytellers, the podcast that makes a difference one story
• 0:04
  at a time by bringing storytelling to life.
• 0:12
  Let me tell you about Kate.
• 0:14
  She is a resident of Arlington and I met her when I first started here at the CUA.
• 0:21
  She had an English background so we connected quite quickly.
• 0:26
  She used to come over for lunch and would be on the computer most days doing solitaire
• 0:31
  and spent most of her day in the computer room just doing things on the computer.
• 0:36
  She'd walk with a walker basket, so not a walker but a basket with all of her things
• 0:42
  in it.
• 0:43
  She would come up from Arlington on the bus and spend the whole day with us and then go
• 0:47
  back almost five days a week which was amazing.
• 0:51
  During COVID she couldn't come to us but did send us letters so I received a few letters
• 0:55
  from her thanking us for our newsletter and telling us about everything that she'd been
• 1:01
  getting up to during COVID.
• 1:03
  What amazed me is that she went past two councils on ageing to get to us.
• 1:08
  She went past the Arlington CUA and the Lexington CUA and just preferred whatever we had, that's
• 1:15
  what she was doing.
• 1:17
  More recently she was visiting with her niece.
• 1:19
  She'd get her niece to drive her.
• 1:21
  She was having some mobility issues and came to see us and hung out and did everything
• 1:26
  she used to do which was really great.
• 1:29
  Then a couple of weeks ago she called and said, I think I've just had my last visit
• 1:33
  at the CUA.
• 1:34
  She said I've just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and nobody can do anything.
• 1:39
  I want to tell you that if you do send me the newsletter it will be building up in my
• 1:43
  mailbox so don't send it.
• 1:45
  So all she did was call us because of that which was really amazing because we'd known
• 1:50
  her for so long that we were the people she wanted to call to tell about her news.
• 1:56
  So she was amazing.
• 1:57
  She'd been a teacher.
• 1:59
  She was resilient.
• 2:00
  She was one of those folks who had so many disabilities, so many things going on in her
• 2:04
  life but still find time with us at the CUA which was really superb.
• 2:08
  So we wish her well in her journey.
• 2:10
  She was with her family but she was really inspirational and that's really why we do
• 2:35
  what we do.
• 2:38
  Hello my name is Liana Henry and welcome to the Starfish Storytellers.
• 2:42
  I'm the CEO of the Black Dog Group, a MarCom and project management firm headquartered
• 2:47
  on the east coast of the US in quaint colonial Bedford, Massachusetts.
• 2:51
  I'm your host and passionate about storytelling and I'm actually on a mission to raise up
• 2:55
  the next generation of storytellers.
• 2:58
  We've named ourselves the Starfish Storytellers after the Starfish Story.
• 3:02
  The moral of the Starfish Story is based on the power of one.
• 3:05
  No matter how big the challenge, each action we take makes a difference and has an impact.
• 3:10
  One step, one starfish, or one story at a time.
• 3:14
  Every episode we welcome a new storyteller who will share their story meant to inspire
• 3:18
  and connect with you.
• 3:19
  Then we'll break it down and offer tips for any listeners who are ready to tell their
• 3:22
  own stories.
• 3:24
  So thanks for tuning in.
• 3:25
  Now let's get started.
• 3:27
  Today's episode is about senior stories celebrating lives well lived.
• 3:32
  And with me today is Allison, I'm gonna get this right, Cheravinsky.
• 3:36
  You got it.
• 3:38
  The director of the Council on Aging here in Bedford, Massachusetts.
• 3:42
  The Council on Aging is the town's department dedicated to the health and wellbeing of Bedford
• 3:46
  residents who are 60 years old or older.
• 3:49
  So thank you for giving us your time today.
• 3:51
  We're so happy to have you here.
• 3:52
  You're very welcome.
• 3:53
  I'm honored to be here.
• 3:54
  Thank you for asking me.
• 3:55
  Thank you.
• 3:57
  So we'd like to get started just to hear a little bit more about you.
• 4:02
  Could you introduce yourself to our listeners?
• 4:04
  Sure.
• 4:05
  So Allison Cheravinsky, I'm the director of the Bedford Council on Aging.
• 4:08
  I've been working for the town for about eight years going on nine, which is really wonderful.
• 4:14
  And I love it.
• 4:15
  It's the best job I've ever had.
• 4:16
  And the staff really enjoy it as well.
• 4:17
  So we work with seniors, their families, and organizations and agencies that also work
• 4:23
  with seniors too, and also have a very close relationship with the town departments, especially
• 4:28
  police and fire.
• 4:29
  So we work very closely together to maintain the health and wellness of residents.
• 4:34
  Now I had read somewhere that in Bedford, seniors make up almost a third of the population.
• 4:42
  Is that still an accurate number?
• 4:43
  Yeah, about 30%.
• 4:44
  Yeah.
• 4:45
  Wow.
• 4:46
  Yeah.
• 4:47
  That's amazing.
• 4:48
  It used to be one in five.
• 4:49
  It's heading to one in three people.
• 4:50
  Wow.
• 4:51
  And then it's going to stay, which that's good for me.
• 4:53
  Definitely.
• 4:54
  Well, it means that people like it here.
• 4:56
  They stay in this town.
• 4:58
  Yes.
• 4:59
  And they do want to stay.
• 5:01
  Sometimes the assumption is that older people want to move out of town, but they don't.
• 5:04
  They don't.
• 5:05
  We've had some residents here for over 50 years and they want to stay here.
• 5:08
  Their friends are here.
• 5:09
  Their community is here.
• 5:10
  Their church is here.
• 5:11
  Everything's here.
• 5:12
  So again, that's really good for us.
• 5:15
  So they want to stay.
• 5:16
  Yeah, absolutely.
• 5:17
  They love the town.
• 5:18
  Yeah.
• 5:19
  They want to stay and stay connected.
• 5:20
  That's awesome.
• 5:21
  And I think the story was powerful.
• 5:24
  And I think it speaks volumes to how important the connections that she has made at the COA
• 5:30
  really, really are and how critical it is for this age group, for folks to be connected,
• 5:37
  be with other people.
• 5:40
  So I was reading a little bit about senior stories and aging is actually providing us
• 5:47
  an opportunity to learn from the stories of others.
• 5:50
  And this is how we grow and we benefit from their experiences when they tell their stories.
• 5:55
  And that's really why contributions from elderly folks really, really should not be overlooked.
• 6:00
  They have some of the most eloquent voices out there.
• 6:05
  They've historically had the most powerful, important role in the storytelling process
• 6:09
  because it's through their oral history, written history that civilizations were built,
• 6:16
  cultures were developed.
• 6:17
  And so we need to preserve those stories and we benefit.
• 6:22
  We collect their values.
• 6:23
  We have them for the future generations.
• 6:28
  I think it's just so important that we talk about them and their stories and hearing about
• 6:35
  them.
• 6:37
  So you work in an environment that puts you in contact with elders every day.
• 6:42
  You get the benefit of hearing their stories every day.
• 6:47
  What kinds of stories do they come and talk to you about?
• 6:50
  Do they share with you?
• 6:51
  Wow.
• 6:52
  I think it depends on the day.
• 6:55
  We have so many different levels of relationship with people.
• 6:58
  Some of them more regular folks.
• 7:00
  We know everything soup to nuts about their family, their connections.
• 7:04
  One of our staff went to school here.
• 7:06
  So she's now seeing her teachers come through the COA, which is really wonderful.
• 7:11
  Some other folks are just transient.
• 7:12
  They come in for a program and then they leave.
• 7:14
  So what I say is that we're here for all of that.
• 7:17
  We're here for the long term if you want to chat with us and let us know your stories.
• 7:21
  And then we're also here for the short term because people are aging, but they're also
• 7:25
  busy and working and they've got a lot of things to do.
• 7:29
  So some of the stories, some of them will generate work for us.
• 7:33
  So someone's saying, I'm trying to get some help at home and I've paid into this long
• 7:39
  term health insurance for the longest time, but I don't qualify because I don't need
• 7:42
  enough help.
• 7:43
  So that's a conversation that we have and maybe some others around the table as well.
• 7:48
  But we may be able to help with that.
• 7:49
  So it might generate us a conversation about health insurance and how else can we support
• 7:56
  you?
• 7:57
  Some of the other things, of course, we've got the proud grandparents telling you about
• 8:00
  their grandkids and great grandkids, what they did in school, their everyday health.
• 8:05
  We have some people who are, you know, they're close to not being very well, but they like
• 8:10
  to be with us.
• 8:11
  They'll talk to us.
• 8:12
  They give us their update about their health.
• 8:14
  So all in any conversation you can have.
• 8:17
  And I think something that benefits us is that every single staff person that works
• 8:22
  there is open to it.
• 8:23
  We have the time, we make the time.
• 8:26
  You know, I'll have a list of 10, 15 things I need to do, but if it means that conversation
• 8:31
  takes a priority, then that's what we'll do.
• 8:35
  Because like you said, the seniors have made decisions that have given us the life and
• 8:40
  the country that we have now.
• 8:42
  And the decisions they've made have shaped the bedford of today.
• 8:46
  You have committees and boards that have lots of older people on them with their history
• 8:51
  and their experience in education.
• 8:53
  So it's important.
• 8:54
  They deserve the time.
• 8:56
  And like I said, with the staff, we've got the right team doing that too.
• 9:00
  And I hope and I think everybody feels heard when they come.
• 9:03
  They know they can reach out to us.
• 9:05
  Sometimes it's very bizarre.
• 9:06
  Like when are they picking up the trash this week?
• 9:09
  Sometimes it's an assumption we know everything about everything because they know we have
• 9:13
  the answer or we'll find the answer for them or we'll get back to them.
• 9:15
  So it's almost like extended family.
• 9:18
  It really is.
• 9:19
  Nice.
• 9:20
  Now it was interesting.
• 9:21
  You were talking about summer transient.
• 9:23
  They come and they do a program and they're still very busy.
• 9:28
  Have you seen, I mean, you've been there for eight years.
• 9:31
  Have you seen a change in the age groups that are coming through?
• 9:39
  Is it more senior seniors?
• 9:41
  Is it like all seniors starting in their sixties?
• 9:44
  Is it, and you know, what, we'll talk a little bit in a minute about some of the programs,
• 9:51
  but you know, have you seen like a trend?
• 9:56
  Like has it changed?
• 9:57
  I'm guessing there's probably been some change since COVID too.
• 10:01
  Yes, for sure.
• 10:02
  So I'll say when you look back on old photographs, we've got them in the basement and have a
• 10:06
  look and it was a lot of retired men and women, a lot of gray hair sitting around doing the
• 10:13
  same thing.
• 10:14
  So they would all play bingo or they would all go on a trip or they would all do.
• 10:17
  So everyone kind of did the same, the same types of things.
• 10:21
  Now we have to cater for an audience that wants a lot of different things, just like
• 10:24
  you and I, we, I think that's the, that's the magic.
• 10:28
  The magic thing that a COA has to do is just, I say we're like Madonna, we have to reinvent
• 10:32
  ourselves so we can attract all the folks.
• 10:35
  So you've got the old, old 80, 90, a hundred that come and you know, they like their seat
• 10:41
  and they like a certain thing.
• 10:43
  And then you've got people who are retired or thinking about retirement and they'll come
• 10:47
  and try out an exercise class.
• 10:49
  They don't think they're old enough yet, but they are.
• 10:52
  And then everybody else in between.
• 10:54
  So I'll say the average folks, the age group that we get the most are in their seventies.
• 10:59
  And then you've got people who will never come to the COA because they're not old enough
• 11:03
  or they don't, they think that it's bingo and blue hair and all of that.
• 11:09
  But everyone will need us at some point.
• 11:11
  You know, we try and avoid the, the urgent, like I need all these services right now.
• 11:17
  We want to try and slowly invite everybody in.
• 11:19
  So that's what we try and do with our programs is trying to attract as many people as we
• 11:24
  can with different things.
• 11:26
  Cause everybody wants something different and there's over 50 things every week to choose
• 11:30
  from and they will resonate with different people.
• 11:33
  So we really have to kind of try and see what works best.
• 11:36
  Yeah.
• 11:37
  Yeah.
• 11:38
  I mean, I was reading that, you know, really wise seniors, you know, live in the present
• 11:43
  and they actually stay physically fit and they, and they stay mentally fit.
• 11:47
  And, you know, I have your, your newsletter here and it is chock full.
• 11:53
  And I know you told me this is two months worth, but this is chock full of things to
• 11:56
  do and activities.
• 11:58
  And you know, what are you, what are you finding that, you know, and I, and I noticed in it
• 12:05
  that there was a lot of, there is things for, you know, physical fitness and, you know,
• 12:13
  support groups and things like that.
• 12:14
  What are some of the more popular ones and, you know, what are the, you know, is there
• 12:19
  like an age group that tends to lean more towards, you know, something more like a support
• 12:23
  group versus something more like, you know, like a fitness class?
• 12:27
  Sure.
• 12:28
  So I'll say we do see younger folks at the fitness classes, but I can't say exclusively
• 12:33
  that there isn't someone who's 91 in some of the classes because they are.
• 12:39
  There's a lot of different things to offer.
• 12:41
  I forgot your question.
• 12:43
  Go ahead.
• 12:44
  No, no, no.
• 12:45
  I was just wondering like, what, what are the most popular ones that you're seeing?
• 12:49
  So every year I do a status update.
• 12:52
  So we have a check-in that everybody signs into, and that gives me data.
• 12:56
  Thank goodness we used to have a person do that manually by hand in the past nightmare.
• 13:01
  So the most popular are exercise classes and then anything that's social.
• 13:05
  So I will say that over COVID, we knew that that was something people were missing was
• 13:10
  just that opportunity to come chat with someone, sit with someone.
• 13:14
  So we tried to do a lot more of those social things when people start to come back.
• 13:18
  So you add a meal, everyone's coming for a free meal.
• 13:21
  And then if you tag on a program to that as well, sometimes you're kind of getting, you
• 13:26
  know, two birds with one stone.
• 13:28
  And sometimes you never know.
• 13:30
  We'll put a program on.
• 13:31
  We did one about, do I rent my car or buy a new car?
• 13:34
  And we didn't know whether that was going to fly.
• 13:36
  And it was packed, packed full.
• 13:38
  The one this month that seems very interesting is the talk about the Ukraine.
• 13:43
  So you never know.
• 13:44
  You just never know what's going to work for folks.
• 13:47
  We have the tried and true things that we do every month, the meals, exercise classes,
• 13:51
  the movies, and you typically see the same types of folks for those.
• 13:56
  The exercise classes are the thing that's drawing the younger folks right now, I think,
• 14:00
  because it's really a great low-cost class.
• 14:03
  And the instructors are, they understand the older body.
• 14:07
  So they allow you to do the class or not, use the weight or not.
• 14:11
  And you know, we're not throwing around a beach ball.
• 14:14
  We're actually lifting weights and using, you know, the ball and doing yoga and really
• 14:19
  good quality stuff.
• 14:22
  So it's a mix.
• 14:23
  And whenever somebody is new and comes over to see us for the first time, we will encourage
• 14:27
  them to come for lunch because you'll see 35, 40 people and then choose something that
• 14:34
  works for the day that it works for you.
• 14:37
  If you just say, Oh, just go to the COA, mom, you've got to do something.
• 14:41
  You've got to go there for a specific thing because then you're more engaged, more connected
• 14:47
  to us and it'll give you a reason to come back.
• 14:49
  And I think that's our success is if you come back, it means you loved it and we did the
• 14:53
  right thing.
• 14:54
  Yep.
• 14:55
  Yep.
• 14:56
  Yep.
• 14:57
  Yep.
• 14:58
  No, that's awesome.
• 14:59
  That's another question I had for you.
• 15:01
  Oh, I had a question.
• 15:04
  So you hear a lot of senior stories every day, but I would expect that some of the more revered
• 15:10
  ones would be coming from your veterans.
• 15:15
  Do you ever have any veterans who either come and speak to the seniors or any veterans groups
• 15:24
  or seniors that sort of socialize together?
• 15:27
  I would imagine those are very, very powerful stories.
• 15:29
  Yeah.
• 15:30
  I used to have a veterans group that came once a week before once a month before COVID.
• 15:37
  Unfortunately, they were those second World War veterans that were very old and that group
• 15:44
  would share their stories.
• 15:45
  You hear some amazing stories from our veterans.
• 15:47
  They are unbelievable.
• 15:50
  But that never came back after COVID.
• 15:51
  It was just one of those things that didn't either the leader couldn't do it.
• 15:57
  A lot of the veterans died.
• 16:00
  We also have a very close connection with the VA.
• 16:02
  So we have the veterans over there too.
• 16:05
  And one of my other, I'm not allowed to have favorites, but one of my other friendlier
• 16:11
  seniors was a World War II vet, Air Force.
• 16:15
  He was amazing.
• 16:16
  He'd done so much.
• 16:18
  He traveled the world.
• 16:19
  He'd flown every aircraft possible.
• 16:22
  He was very close with his family.
• 16:24
  He would share all his stories.
• 16:26
  And he was so humble with what he'd done.
• 16:28
  I mean, he, it was amazing because we had two veterans.
• 16:31
  He flew and the other veteran, the Navy SEAL, and they were friends and found out that they
• 16:37
  were on the same mission at the same time.
• 16:40
  And one of them was in the plane and one of them was in the water.
• 16:43
  So those kinds of things, it's amazing.
• 16:47
  And that's why they also deserve the time and to be honored and to be remembered because
• 16:51
  they have made those sacrifices as well as their families as well.
• 16:55
  So the spouses too serve at the same time.
• 16:59
  And this individual here, he would go and visit his wife's grave every day.
• 17:04
  He would go hang out.
• 17:05
  Then he would come over and he would be in the computer room and play music.
• 17:09
  And he would share his stories once in a while.
• 17:12
  And then over COVID, it's almost like he forgot us.
• 17:16
  So he hadn't been at the COA for so many months.
• 17:18
  And this happened across the board with all of the COAs that people who had been very
• 17:23
  engaged, very connected, all of a sudden forgot that we even had a relationship.
• 17:28
  So they were angry and upset and they missed us.
• 17:32
  Unfortunately, we didn't have time to get him back because he passed away shortly afterwards.
• 17:36
  But the people that we saw that did come back, they got that social part back, which was
• 17:41
  really special.
• 17:42
  So it's more than just having a lunch or doing a class.
• 17:45
  There's so much more in it.
• 17:47
  And it's just that human connection, which they deserve so much and our veterans especially.
• 17:52
  Now did you still operate during COVID?
• 17:55
  And if so, how?
• 17:58
  So this is the magic of the COA.
• 18:01
  So we were told, I think it was March 13th, that all town offices were closing.
• 18:08
  So for the COA, for the community of COAs, because we work with all the sister communities
• 18:13
  in the state and nationally too, everyone went, oh goodness, what are we going to do?
• 18:19
  Luckily I've got a very close sister network of COAs around.
• 18:23
  So we got on the phone right away and started talking about what are we going to do?
• 18:27
  And we went online, virtual programs.
• 18:30
  So we would never have forced technology on 90 year olds.
• 18:35
  But for sure, I've got a 93 year old who learned how to do Zoom.
• 18:39
  So the first one we did, our sing-along, our piano teacher and her husband who volunteered
• 18:45
  with us, he said, I'm concerned that these people are not going to get any programs.
• 18:49
  I'm worried about them.
• 18:51
  Could we try and do this on Zoom?
• 18:53
  So he was the first one and we tried it.
• 18:55
  And luckily we had emails of folks or we asked people to call in and give us their emails.
• 19:00
  And we created these pockets of virtual programs.
• 19:03
  So it took us a few months in, but we were completely virtual.
• 19:09
  The center was open.
• 19:10
  So we had drive through meals.
• 19:13
  So Minuteman Senior Services offered a meal that you could drive by and pick up, which
• 19:17
  was amazing because people did that.
• 19:20
  And then some of our seniors would come by and hang out outside the window and just chat
• 19:24
  to us through the window, which is really great.
• 19:27
  So the virtual programs, our newsletter became our main way.
• 19:31
  So that newsletter has loads of programs now.
• 19:33
  It became our communication to the community.
• 19:36
  So there's a letter on that front page.
• 19:38
  And I used to hate writing that letter.
• 19:40
  I'm like, oh, I just want us to be open.
• 19:42
  But everyone responded to that.
• 19:44
  And they said they really enjoyed hearing from us on a personal level.
• 19:47
  And I could share what was going on.
• 19:49
  We're masking, we're not masking.
• 19:51
  We've got this program and that program.
• 19:53
  So that newsletter really became our main way to communicate.
• 19:57
  We put Sudoku in there.
• 19:58
  We put crosswords in there.
• 20:00
  We had recipes in there.
• 20:02
  So it really took on a life of its own, but the staff also adapted everything that they
• 20:06
  were doing.
• 20:07
  So we're taking turns going in the office.
• 20:09
  We had, I mean, we could all work virtually from home.
• 20:13
  We were delivering food as well.
• 20:15
  So there was a lot of things we tried to do to keep connected to people over COVID.
• 20:19
  And then once we reopened, it was a slow, slow start because people were scared to death.
• 20:24
  Some people did not want to come back.
• 20:26
  They were afraid.
• 20:28
  So right now, I'd say about a quarter of our programs still are in a virtual format.
• 20:32
  And we also have things in person as well.
• 20:34
  So I feel like as a network, the Council on Aging as a whole and Massachusetts Council
• 20:38
  on Aging really did a 180 and helped as many people as we could.
• 20:43
  There are so many people that learn Zoom and now they use it personally and with their
• 20:47
  families and I think, well, we did that.
• 20:49
  We helped them.
• 20:50
  And for someone to, like I said, my 93 year old to now be able to get on Zoom herself
• 20:55
  and she's still connected.
• 20:57
  She may never come back to the center, but she's still connected.
• 21:01
  So COVID was a challenge, but we know we can do it.
• 21:04
  So if it happens again, not that we want it to happen again, but...
• 21:07
  You're ready.
• 21:08
  ... completely a virtual world and it just shows how much it meant to people because
• 21:13
  it worked.
• 21:14
  And our friends group too offered funding to make all those classes free during COVID,
• 21:19
  which was really amazing.
• 21:20
  So I started to pay an instructor and usually we ask for a small fee, but the friends group
• 21:25
  stepped in and really paid for everything for that timeframe.
• 21:28
  So that's wonderful.
• 21:29
  So grateful for them as well.
• 21:30
  Yeah.
• 21:31
  So you said there's about a quarter of your program is still on Zoom or still virtual.
• 21:37
  What kinds of programs are virtual?
• 21:40
  So our yoga teacher had a specific room and a specific group.
• 21:46
  And before COVID, she had three different groups, the floor, the chair, and an osteo,
• 21:51
  yoga specifically.
• 21:53
  Since COVID, there've been some shuffling of rooms at town center.
• 21:55
  So the room that she was in isn't available at the time she wants.
• 21:59
  There's another room, but her class really loves it.
• 22:02
  So for some reason, yoga seems to work at home.
• 22:05
  I mean, you can do it in a small space.
• 22:09
  And we ask the classes routinely, do you want to come back in person?
• 22:12
  It might be a schedule change, but they love it.
• 22:14
  And that group has grown so big, it wouldn't even fit in the room that it used to be in.
• 22:18
  So that is amazing.
• 22:20
  Wow.
• 22:21
  Zumba is also at home at 4.30.
• 22:24
  That's our afternoon program, which is working out really well.
• 22:27
  Our writing group, they're online.
• 22:30
  So some things really work very well that they just chat.
• 22:33
  Some of them are hybrid, so our poetry group, there's a few people who want to be online
• 22:38
  and there's a few people that want to be in person.
• 22:40
  So we've made that work as well.
• 22:42
  So if they're not feeling well, they might stay home, but they could still participate
• 22:46
  as well.
• 22:47
  So those types of classes, hmm, is there anything else?
• 22:50
  Let me think.
• 22:51
  Oh, the chair exercise as well.
• 22:53
  So when we came back after COVID, we wanted to focus on the Zoom classes that were for
• 22:59
  folks who might be at home and not be able to come in.
• 23:02
  So the other ones, like the aerobics and the different classes where it's more physical,
• 23:07
  moving around a little bit more, we wanted those in person.
• 23:09
  So chair became very popular on Zoom as well.
• 23:12
  So we've got a few folks at home doing chair on Mondays and Wednesdays.
• 23:16
  So it's a great offering.
• 23:18
  We would have never have thought of that ourselves before COVID.
• 23:21
  And it's really worked nicely with the offerings that we have too.
• 23:24
  So I feel like we're reaching more than we did before in different ways.
• 23:28
  Nice.
• 23:29
  Yeah.
• 23:30
  Nice.
• 23:31
  I don't mind this.
• 23:32
  I was so lucky that the instructors found a space in their house that they had an empty
• 23:37
  room that they can run a class and do it professionally.
• 23:42
  And the yoga instructor, for example, has a beautiful background.
• 23:45
  It looks like a studio, but it's her spare room.
• 23:47
  So it's just wonderful.
• 23:49
  It's a team effort though.
• 23:50
  Everyone worked so well together to make it happen.
• 23:53
  Nice.
• 23:54
  Nice.
• 23:55
  Nice.
• 23:56
  The only thing left I wanted to ask.
• 24:00
  So you've been working with elders for eight years here.
• 24:03
  I'm sure you have had, your career has been in India.
• 24:06
  And you have to deal with death a lot.
• 24:11
  And how is that?
• 24:18
  How is that when you're working with someone and then they're no longer there?
• 24:24
  How do you prepare yourself for something like that?
• 24:28
  How have you done it over the years?
• 24:31
  It's a funny thing because if you've done this for a long time, it's expected.
• 24:37
  So it's not a shock.
• 24:39
  It's not surprising when someone is 93 and passes away.
• 24:43
  I think the first experience I had, if I'm thinking back, I used to work in Cambridge
• 24:47
  for the elder service plan of the Cambridge Health Alliance.
• 24:51
  And I worked at a summer camp for kids with special needs before that in New Jersey.
• 24:55
  So I didn't deal with a lot of passing at the camp because it was young children.
• 25:01
  So I was running programs in Cambridge.
• 25:04
  And I remember there was a table of women and there was always these four women.
• 25:08
  And one day this chair was empty.
• 25:10
  And I looked out of my office, I'm like, oh my goodness, what happened?
• 25:14
  And somebody told me that she passed away.
• 25:16
  And I went, oh my, it was my first experience.
• 25:18
  I think I was 22 or something.
• 25:20
  And the closest person who'd passed since then was my grandfather.
• 25:23
  So it was very personal to me.
• 25:25
  So the social worker at the time took me under a wing and she said, this is your first one,
• 25:29
  isn't it?
• 25:30
  I'm like, yes, how do you deal with it?
• 25:31
  And that team, and it's what we do now, you come together, you talk about it, you process
• 25:36
  together.
• 25:37
  We've cried together.
• 25:38
  We've had families come in and we will remember each other.
• 25:42
  We have our obituary table too.
• 25:43
  So whenever we get in a bit, and if someone's obituary is not on that table, they tell us
• 25:47
  about it.
• 25:48
  Like, where is Mary's obituary?
• 25:50
  So we process, we talk.
• 25:52
  And it's an honor to help them at the end of their life.
• 25:55
  So when somebody passes, you know, they had the best time with you at the end.
• 25:59
  When my veteran friend passed away, we were so sad that he'd forgotten us with COVID because
• 26:06
  he had such a great relationship with us.
• 26:09
  And after he passed, every day you'd see him, he'd go, well, I'm not, my name wasn't on
• 26:13
  the gravestone.
• 26:14
  I'm on the side of the grass again.
• 26:17
  So he was ready.
• 26:18
  And I think that's something that when you work with elders, it's something that you
• 26:23
  have to deal with.
• 26:25
  It's going to happen.
• 26:26
  I always ask it of new interviews or students as well.
• 26:29
  How do you deal with that personally?
• 26:30
  Because everyone has a different way.
• 26:32
  But you have to expect it and you have to honor the person and you have to remember
• 26:36
  them.
• 26:37
  And we talk about them and we share photographs.
• 26:40
  And like I said, we're richer because of knowing them.
• 26:42
  So even though somebody might die tomorrow, we've had a great time with them.
• 26:47
  And I think when you're able to share that with their family too, and we've done that
• 26:50
  too, like if their family comes in to return equipment or whatever, or we've sent letters
• 26:54
  to families and this is what I knew about your dad.
• 26:57
  Thank you so much.
• 26:58
  And it was an honor.
• 26:59
  So it's okay.
• 27:00
  I mean, yes, there are some people that they really get in your heart like Kate, you know,
• 27:05
  she was just amazing.
• 27:06
  And when you hear stories, you go, I can't believe she called us to tell me that she
• 27:11
  had cancer.
• 27:12
  And now I have to think about that.
• 27:13
  But in a way, it was just an honor that she even thought to call us.
• 27:17
  So it's really special.
• 27:19
  And not a lot of people can do it.
• 27:22
  But the people that can are my staff as well and teams that I've worked with in the past.
• 27:28
  It just is so honorable and so respectful.
• 27:30
  And it's important to honor people as well.
• 27:33
  Yes.
• 27:34
  Very important.
• 27:35
  If somebody wants to learn more about the Council on Aging, I know you were just talking
• 27:40
  a little bit about you invite new people to come for a meal and a program.
• 27:46
  What else should because I mean, there may be some folks who might be interested in your
• 27:49
  programming, but they're homebound.
• 27:52
  You know, what should they do?
• 27:53
  What steps should they take?
• 27:54
  Sure.
• 27:55
  So the first thing folks can do is always give us a call.
• 27:58
  So our phone number is on our newsletter, and it's on the town website as well.
• 28:02
  And families do call us to find out what's going on.
• 28:06
  And we can give you recommendations about the best things that might work for you.
• 28:10
  Right now, the newsletter also has a little forget me not flower all the way through.
• 28:15
  So anyone who has dementia and families are looking for things for them to do, look in
• 28:19
  the newsletter, find that and and come to those programs.
• 28:24
  If you are at home, we can have our social worker come out to visit too.
• 28:28
  And again, that phone number is a one stop shop for everything we refer people out from
• 28:33
  from those areas to if folks want to come by and have a look, we'll do a little tour
• 28:38
  and walk around and show you all the spaces.
• 28:41
  Sometimes folks like to visit when it's quiet, and some people like to see it busy and vibrant.
• 28:46
  So depending on which kind of environment you're looking for, we can we can find a spot
• 28:50
  for you there too.
• 28:52
  But definitely reach out.
• 28:53
  There's an email as well that folks can reach out to.
• 28:56
  There's no wrong door really.
• 28:57
  So however you come to us, you know, word of mouth works to new folks always welcome
• 29:03
  and even out of town, about a quarter of our attendees are from different towns, which
• 29:06
  is okay to nice.
• 29:08
  Well, that's all the time we have for today.
• 29:12
  But thank you so much, Allison, for coming and talking about the COA and all that you
• 29:16
  do there.
• 29:17
  And you know, all these wonderful stories of such important people who basically are
• 29:24
  the history of this town.
• 29:25
  So I really enjoyed just really hearing it all.
• 29:29
  So thank you.
• 29:30
  Thank you so much.
• 29:32
  And to our listeners, whether you hear us locally from the BTV studios in Bedford, Massachusetts,
• 29:37
  or across the globe on such podcast channels as Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Amazon Prime,
• 29:43
  thanks for listening.
• 29:44
  We hope you enjoyed this episode and we'll see you next time.
• 29:47
  Happy storytelling.
• 29:48
  Thanks very much.