Latest / SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day! / Yoreh De’ah 234:69-74. Vows: Annulling, Marital Obligations, Wanting Children; Vows Between Spouses

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Yoreh De’ah 234:69-74. Vows: Annulling, Marital Obligations, Wanting Children; Vows Between Spouses · SHULCHAN ARUCH YOMI: Own the Halacha in 25 minutes a day!

• 0:00
  OK, good morning. We are on reish lamidalid si eve
• 0:04
  tet amra konam shaheni nahenet la ABBA Ola vika Immanuel
• 0:12
  Selaka. So basically, I guess maybe for
• 0:16
  the next few CV theme, we're going to have some unfortunate
• 0:19
  marital issues and Reish Lamidalid Samer tet Samer tet.
• 0:27
  So she says I'm basically she's going to make a nedger or some
• 0:31
  kind of Shibuya, whatever it is that she is not going to get any
• 0:35
  benefit from her pet from either father, from her father or her
• 0:41
  father-in-law from his father. If she does something, I guess
• 0:45
  he wants him her to do something and she doesn't want to do it.
• 0:48
  So now they're having a little spat between them and trying to
• 0:54
  see who's going to win. Oh, or she says, I'm not going
• 0:59
  to get any benefit from you if you make me do something for my
• 1:07
  father or father-in-law, whatever the issues are, the
• 1:11
  parents are involved, right? So she's going to hurt herself.
• 1:16
  So whatever it is, the question is can the issue is, can he have
• 1:21
  jurisdiction to do Hafaras Nadarin?
• 1:24
  So the halakhah says Yakola Hafir, he is able to do Hafaras
• 1:28
  Nadarin even if it doesn't directly, the Nether does not is
• 1:34
  not directly an Inui nefesh or Benola vena issue.
• 1:38
  She still can't. He still has jurisdiction.
• 1:41
  Why and Alpha P shaloh khala Nadar and even if the Nether
• 1:46
  wasn't even Khal yet, because we're talking about Hafaras
• 1:48
  Nadarian like the Tanay wasn't met with divarium El Jave
• 1:52
  Divarium should be no lebena because it's tied to the father
• 1:57
  of father and our parents. Whatever in laws by definition.
• 2:01
  That's the aspect that is Benola vena because it's a deny.
• 2:08
  It's it's a personal deny. It's we don't call it indirect.
• 2:13
  Obviously every issue we see how it's possible in the Chauhanara,
• 2:18
  obviously there's sometimes a little Gray area.
• 2:20
  But we halachically at the end of the day, we say this is a
• 2:24
  more of a direct issue because it doesn't fare well on the son
• 2:29
  or son-in-law and he gets it affects him and his relationship
• 2:35
  and his reputation. OK, so that's how it's sorry,
• 2:40
  I'm not following. Where you going with that?
• 2:43
  We say that if something has to happen before and never is
• 2:46
  called, you can only be nice. You can only be right for
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  Hatara. You can only do you can only do
• 2:50
  Hatara sadarium after it's called.
• 2:52
  But Hatfara that's it's Zarasukasic.
• 2:57
  OK, so that we had earlier before and Zarasukasic that
• 3:00
  there's a difference. OK I second now.
• 3:08
  It's true I kind of said this but the the shock points out
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  it's true. The issue can be inui nefesh.
• 3:15
  The issue at hand, the nether can be a direct benola vena.
• 3:19
  We're just pointing out even if the nether has nothing to do
• 3:23
  with inui nefesh or benola vena, by definition when you affect
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  the in laws it is. That makes it a Benola vena.
• 3:31
  Fine aim amra amra konam shani osset al P ABBA V avika.
• 3:42
  This is OK, this is let me explain translate this
• 3:46
  basically. So I guess it's a Hebrew
• 3:48
  expression or a Mashnaya expression.
• 3:51
  It's if she's making a another basically that she forbids her
• 3:59
  work or any of her work. This can come from cooking,
• 4:03
  sewing. It could be from her paycheck,
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  salary. That's what it means anything
• 4:09
  that she is able to to make or produce.
• 4:14
  OK, so there's and she's making it that that it won't she won't
• 4:21
  benefit the either father OLP Akhi or her brother OLP Akhika
• 4:27
  or his brother the day Eno Yahoo Lahafair so that she makes a
• 4:34
  nether again, if it's not an we're saying we're assuming it's
• 4:38
  not an Ino E nefesh issue and she's saying she is not gonna
• 4:42
  she's making a nether a chivua that whatever she is producing,
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  she will not let because of her Ned there.
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  She will not let one of these people benefit.
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  Even though it's a family member.
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  He has no jurisdiction on it because it's not an inoi nefesh
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  issue. Eno Yokola hafer.
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  She Eno meshubeted Lahan and she has no monetary or
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  responsibility obligation to to pay them.
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  Ayan aleph amra koonam shanios alpica.
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  Now if she says I'm going to make a nether to benefit you
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  know from my production, it's going to go to you Yafair.
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  She can so then he could do afara alpha P shihi meshu bedlo
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  even though he is she is obligated to to produce for him.
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  Sharma, Yergar, Shanu Vaz, Yahoo, Haneder.
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  Because in other words, we're saying you should do Hafara even
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  though while they're married, it's not Hal because she's
• 5:56
  obligated to. Whatever she cooks or whatever
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  she makes goes to him. That's one of her obligations.
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  So. So it's not Hal immediately or
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  it's not technically right. It's like hovering in the air
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  until maybe they get divorced. So then it will be Khal.
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  So therefore we're saying you should, you can, and perhaps you
• 6:19
  should do Hafara so that you don't get stuck.
• 6:23
  Why? What might happen?
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  You want to get, Let's say you decide that the couple
• 6:27
  unfortunately decides to get divorced.
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  So then the senator that she makes is Khal after they get
• 6:35
  divorced, because now she's not obligated to give her ma SE
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  yada, whatever she produces. So then she keeps it.
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  So then it's Hall right now, this time period after they're
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  divorced until they want to perhaps remarry.
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  So this time period it is Hall and she cannot give to him.
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  And since it's Hall the lawyer Khala Hazira, if they a man
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  cannot marry a woman in a state when she with it's against the
• 7:08
  the neder, there's a Neder preventing her to give her
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  Mesaya Mesaya Daim to to him. So it'll prevent them from
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  remarrying. And the Karina be Hashta Devarim
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  should be Nola Bena. So therefore it is considered
• 7:26
  Benola vena because even because if they want to remarry, that's
• 7:31
  it's going to be Benola vena for the remarriage as they won't be
• 7:34
  able to. So therefore she has
• 7:36
  jurisdiction. He has jurisdiction to do
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  hafarah and he should hagah viddaf Kashi amra no.
• 7:46
  So this is interesting, the Rama writes and this seems to be also
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  according to the Shokhanarak viddaf.
• 7:53
  And I don't think it's a mahokas viddaf.
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  Kashi amra you kadshu you die. Let us say him in order for the
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  only time we remember, we said something Shaheen Bulmamish is
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  not considered. You can't make a nether, but you
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  can't make a nether and a Dover Shaheen Bulmamish, it doesn't
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  exist yet. So what she's future going to do
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  in the future and produce, you can't make a nether on that.
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  It has to be called on something that exists.
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  Something physical doesn't have to exist, but it has to be
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  something physical. So therefore it has to be where
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  she uses an expression that includes a physical object, not
• 8:35
  a verb, but a physical object, such as her hands.
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  So it has to be where she says the words or similar words to
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  that her hands are kodesh sanctified to who she makes it
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  for. And therefore she's mentioning
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  her hands when she ussers makes the neder.
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  Or if we look later on in Evan Azer, it uses the expression
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  OSHA amramasaya deh. It actually says over there that
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  you have to you have to mention a physical item or we learned
• 9:08
  earlier that it's not going to be called fine.
• 9:12
  That's just a technicality into our general halacha.
• 9:17
  OK, fine. Let's go on to Ayen Bett Nadra
• 9:22
  Shalotitain Lyfenne Bacaro O coyote bidevarium alu right?
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  She makes the netter that she's not going to feed her animals
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  exactly so so alu Ain behem inui nephesh.
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  So these things is not an inui nephesh on on the lady.
• 9:41
  So therefore he has no jurisdiction from that point of
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  view. The Anam Medivaram Shibeno
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  Lebena. And it's not really something
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  that's between the two of them. It's she's not Austrian.
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  All of her, whatever she produces, she's just saying I'm
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  not going to give food to you or I'm not going to feed your
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  animals. That's all.
• 10:00
  That's all she said. So that's not really between
• 10:02
  them. The Anam MI mulako Chi kayev
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  Ikham. And it's also not one of the
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  Mulakas that she's obligated to do.
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  She obviously she has to, you know, there are certain things
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  she must do. We're going to learn that more
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  in Evan Ezer in detail and we're going to touch upon it now again
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  a bit more. And anyways, but that's not this
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  is not one of her obligations to feed his pets or even or his
• 10:27
  cattle, whatever for work. And it's Ano Yacola Hafair.
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  So if that's the strict, if that's her neder, that's all she
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  says, then on that he has no jurisdiction and the only way
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  out of that is if she wants to do Ataras Nadar.
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  But OK, but sounds like this, this couple, they're not
• 10:44
  interested in them. OK?
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  Ayen Gilmel, Nadra Shalalihotz, Panavyada Veraglov.
• 10:51
  So now she wants to up the ante and she's saying I'm not going.
• 10:54
  She's making a net there, right? They're having issues and she's
• 10:57
  saying I'm not going to. I'm making a net there, that
• 10:59
  there's no way I'm ever going to wash or even without the word
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  ever, She is not going to wash. Panavyada Veraglov, his face,
• 11:09
  hands and feet. Oshala Limzoglohakos, she's not
• 11:12
  going to pour wine for him. Vichelola had cialohenita, he's
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  not. She's not going to prepare the
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  sheets for his bed. A not sorry kla hafer, she
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  doesn't eat. He doesn't need to do hafara.
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  But Fisher Meshu bedded low because she is obligated to him
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  to do these items and therefore it's not even Khal.
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  Such a nether is not Khal. I'll just point out to Mahlokas
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  if the husband we just mentioned a previous case, is it called
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  after they get divorced? Maybe she wants to remarry and
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  it'll become a problem for them to remarry.
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  So the halakha says there's no difference.
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  Well, the shock says she he must be may for for these items,
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  because it will be it hovers and it will be Khal when they get
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  divorced. But the simple shot reading from
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  the shalkhanarak, the Rama, the the Taz and the araka shalkhan
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  say it's never Khal at all whatsoever.
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  It's different than the previous case.
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  Fine, it's not Khaled all I and all it.
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  Let's finish Isha shenadra Alisha tsam nahit aber anhaba al
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  Yahoo lahafir. If the woman makes a nether to
• 12:44
  drink, OK, interesting case. She makes a drink another that
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  she is or a shivua. Let's we'll call it a shivua.
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  Make it simple that she is going to drink this special potion
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  that's going to help her. I'll be like get pregnant.
• 13:02
  There you go. It's going to help her get
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  pregnant whatever the issues are.
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  So she wants to have a child and let's say he doesn't and so she
• 13:10
  is making the Shiva that she's going to drink this and so it's
• 13:13
  going to help them when they're together for her to have a
• 13:16
  child. A in ABBA al Yahoo Lahafair this
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  the husband has no jurisdiction to do a far as Nadarian and this
• 13:24
  is not his business directly. And even though they point out
• 13:29
  that she doing this might affect her body, her looks and it
• 13:36
  doesn't make a difference, that's not considered.
• 13:39
  This is not his jurisdiction, is it?
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  Not at all or it's certainly a secondary step.
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  Drinking the potion itself or getting pregnant itself doesn't
• 13:54
  affect her body right now. It's something that happens as a
• 13:57
  secondary or I don't know if it's.
• 14:02
  And again, I think that's the main reason it could be at some
• 14:06
  point. It's just it's not his business
• 14:07
  and I don't know. But certainly it's a it's
• 14:10
  certainly it's a second secondary consequence.
• 14:14
  And so that we learned already from the previous Seafim that it
• 14:18
  has to be something that's more direct to be considered Benola
• 14:21
  Bena now. So just want to point out over
• 14:24
  here what we're learning, let's say a couple and they're trying
• 14:27
  to have this, they want to make a decision if they're going to
• 14:30
  have children, right? They are they they don't have
• 14:33
  any they want, they have 5. They want 10, they want 15,
• 14:36
  whatever the number is. That's not what we're discussing
• 14:38
  over here here. This is a strictly an issue of
• 14:42
  is for Helkos Nadarium for Hafaro.
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  Does he have jurisdiction to to to prevent it?
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  Is it an item Benola Bena regarding Helkos Nadarium, It's
• 14:55
  not really relevant to the issue of should a couple, should a
• 15:00
  couple have more children? Should can one can one of the
• 15:03
  two be affect the other one one second fine, I'll just point out
• 15:11
  a couple real quick things because we're not going to get
• 15:12
  to a problem. It's not really an Evan you're a
• 15:15
  Daya issue. But in general, I think we've
• 15:17
  basically seen this and we're going to see more later that the
• 15:20
  most one of the most important criteria is do they were they
• 15:25
  makaya imperia of the Rivia? And on that they kind of could
• 15:29
  force that, that OK, then we know that there's a mitzvah to
• 15:34
  have many children and to populate the world and to bring
• 15:39
  more neshomas into the world. We know that that is a mitzvah
• 15:44
  certainly on the men. That's correct.
• 15:47
  We'll get into more details when we get there, but I'm definitely
• 15:50
  not going to touch contraceptives right now, that's
• 15:53
  for sure. Evan Ezra issue just interesting
• 15:56
  to bring it. I just want to just just to
• 15:57
  touch up the the the two things that I will point out is
• 16:02
  obviously it's best if they both agree in consent and but as far
• 16:07
  as one being forcing the other one not to have children.
• 16:12
  So generally the only time it becomes an issue, either one of
• 16:16
  them is picoac nefesh or medical complications that could be a
• 16:20
  factor or stress and anxiety. If there's something that's more
• 16:26
  of a severe case, it can create mental health issues.
• 16:30
  Those are when it's one can force the other one.
• 16:33
  But again, that's not really relevant to the Nadhos Nadarim
• 16:37
  as far as I know. I don't think it'll make a
• 16:39
  difference. The fact that there's life's,
• 16:42
  you know, what's it called child support and and cost of living
• 16:47
  nowadays and tuition in some countries, I don't believe that
• 16:51
  that's enough of a factor that makes a difference.
• 16:53
  I think that's more of a secondary issue.
• 16:56
  And that's also it's already been Nifsakak and Halafa.
• 16:59
  So I don't think it changes, but the other factors anyway.
• 17:04
  And then finances, generally we do not count that as a factor
• 17:09
  for having children. Hashem, Hashem provides and
• 17:13
  Hashem however you get for two children, Hashem will provide
• 17:16
  you for more. But anyways, that's generally
• 17:18
  not the a factor alone. Finances can create medical, you
• 17:24
  know, mental health issues.