Latest / Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor / IS YOUR LADDER ON THE WRONG WALL?

Transcript

IS YOUR LADDER ON THE WRONG WALL? · Life, Finance, & Real Estate with KirbyTheRealtor

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to life.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Finance and real estate.
0:04
SPEAKER_00: Where we discuss how to make smart money moves, the ever-changing real estate market, and of course, things going on in life.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: And here to take a money more with you is your host.
1:32
SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to another episode of Life Finance and Real Estate with your girl Kirby the Realtor.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: You already know what we do here, guys.
1:40
SPEAKER_02: We talk about life.
1:42
SPEAKER_02: We talk about finances, and guess what?
1:44
SPEAKER_02: We talk about real estate.
1:46
SPEAKER_02: But more than anything, guys, we talk about what it really means to build a life that you can sustain.
1:53
SPEAKER_02: And in today's conversation, it came from a conversation, actually.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: I was having a conversation with my financial advisor.
2:01
SPEAKER_02: Those of you that know, that's Mr.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: Charles Thomas.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: And we were talking about life, business, you know, where I'm going, where I've been.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: And of course, we were going over things that I did not want to have to discuss, but hey, we have to do the hard things, right?
2:14
SPEAKER_02: But he asked me a question.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: He said, Where's your letter?
2:18
SPEAKER_02: I said, What?
2:20
SPEAKER_02: Then he said, Is your letter on the wrong wall?
2:24
SPEAKER_02: And y'all, that thing stayed with me because I'm like, what are you talking about?
2:29
SPEAKER_02: And he started talking, and I'm like, yeah.
2:31
SPEAKER_02: So me, I'm a note-taker, whatever.
2:33
SPEAKER_02: But because I started thinking, I was like, you know, with a ladder, you can be climbing, right?
2:38
SPEAKER_02: You can be climbing, you could be working, you can be sacrificing, you can be praying, you can be showing up every single day and even making progress.
2:47
SPEAKER_02: But what happens when you finally realize my ladder is leaning or has been, because some of you may have moved, but what happens when you realize my ladder is leaning against the wrong wall?
2:59
SPEAKER_02: Because if the ladder is on the wrong wall, you climbing that ladder faster isn't going to fix it, right?
3:06
SPEAKER_02: That's just like if you were going the wrong direction and you went 80 to 100 miles per hour in the wrong direction, you're going the wrong direction.
3:15
SPEAKER_02: So are you really going somewhere?
3:17
SPEAKER_02: Working harder, guys, isn't going to fix it.
3:20
SPEAKER_02: Getting to the next wrong isn't going to fix it.
3:23
SPEAKER_02: If you the wrongs is are the steps.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: We call them steps of the ladder, right?
3:27
SPEAKER_02: So getting to the next step isn't going to fix it.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you just simply have to move that ladder.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: And for somebody listening to me today, you may need to hear exactly that.
3:38
SPEAKER_02: You don't necessarily have to have a new ladder.
3:41
SPEAKER_02: Everything you've learned isn't being wasted.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: Your experiences isn't wasted.
3:46
SPEAKER_02: Your education, the education, the trials, all of that, the relationships, the lessons, the years, they aren't wasted.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you just need to reposition the ladder.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: So today we're going to have a conversation about something I believe all of us eventually have to learn.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: We all have to learn this.
4:05
SPEAKER_02: How do you know when it's time to shift and adjust?
4:08
SPEAKER_02: And let's talk about it.
4:10
SPEAKER_02: How do you know when it's time to move that ladder?
4:13
SPEAKER_02: We're going to talk about it.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: But here's the thing: I want you to understand.
4:17
SPEAKER_02: When you realize that your ladder is on the wrong wall, sometimes we immediately think, I messed up everything.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: How many of you listening right now can say that's what you think when you kind of realize my ladder is on the wrong wall?
4:30
SPEAKER_02: I've messed up everything.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm disappointing my family.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: No.
4:34
SPEAKER_02: Your letter got you where you are.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: It got you here, got you to this place.
4:38
SPEAKER_02: Your letter represents everything that you've learned, your experiences, your failures, your relationships, the education, y'all, the wisdom, discipline, work, ethic, your faith.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Everything you've learned, climbing one wall can help you when you reposition that ladder against another.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: And that's why I don't want somebody listening today to think I've wasted 10 years, or even two or three.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you did not.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: Maybe those 10 years taught you what you needed to know for the next 20.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the business taught you how to be a better leader.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the job taught you how to be disciplined.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: Maybe that financial mistake taught you stewardship.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the house taught you what you actually needed in the house.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: Maybe that failure taught you to have better discernment.
5:25
SPEAKER_02: Maybe that season taught you something about yourself.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: That success never could.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: The ladder isn't always the problem.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's the location of the ladder that's the problem.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: Here's something else.
5:39
SPEAKER_02: Maybe your ladder wasn't always on the wrong wall because, I mean, we're human, right?
5:45
SPEAKER_02: We live in a world and life is ever changing.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: Life changes.
5:49
SPEAKER_02: Think about, think about who you were 10 years ago.
5:53
SPEAKER_02: Did you think about that?
5:54
SPEAKER_02: Are you the exact same person?
5:57
SPEAKER_02: Probably not.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: Your priorities change, right?
6:00
SPEAKER_02: The responsibilities change, your income changed, your family changed, even your dreams changed, your capacity changed.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: Maybe what you what you were climbing towards at the age of 25 isn't what you want at the age of 45.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: And guess what?
6:18
SPEAKER_02: That is okay because sometimes the wall was right for that season.
6:23
SPEAKER_02: But somewhere along the way, something shifted.
6:26
SPEAKER_02: And instead of shifting with it, you just kept climbing.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: And that's where we get ourselves in trouble.
6:33
SPEAKER_02: Okay?
6:34
SPEAKER_02: We're trying to remain loyal to a destination we don't even want anymore.
6:38
SPEAKER_02: And that will preach by itself.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: We are trying to remain loyal to a destination we don't even want anymore.
6:46
SPEAKER_02: Family, you are allowed to adjust.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: I need you to just take a deep breath, okay?
6:53
SPEAKER_02: And just say, I am allowed to adjust.
6:57
SPEAKER_02: Change your direction.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: Change, just change.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: Well, let me say this.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: Changing your direction doesn't automatically mean your original decision was wrong.
7:07
SPEAKER_02: I want you to hear me.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: Because you have to shift or because you have to realign and readjust, it doesn't mean that your original no decision was wrong.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it just means you have you have newer information, right?
7:21
SPEAKER_02: I tell my team all the time, we're learning every day.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Always be a student, always be willing to learn and listen.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: You don't know everything.
7:28
SPEAKER_02: I don't care how long you've been in a certain profession, business, you don't know everything.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes new information requires a new decision.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: Think about your GPS, right?
7:39
SPEAKER_02: And I think I kind of shared this on the show before.
7:42
SPEAKER_02: You put your destination in, right?
7:44
SPEAKER_02: You know where you're going to go, and then you miss a turn.
7:48
SPEAKER_02: And I am the world's worst.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: I could have my GPS on, y'all.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: Be on that phone yep.
7:53
SPEAKER_02: And I literally miss my turn.
7:55
SPEAKER_02: What does your GPS do?
7:58
SPEAKER_02: Does it start yelling at you?
7:59
SPEAKER_02: You failure.
8:01
SPEAKER_02: You missed your turn.
8:02
SPEAKER_02: You'll never get there now.
8:04
SPEAKER_02: Does your GPS do that?
8:06
SPEAKER_02: No.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: It says recalculating, rerouting, reroute, rerouting.
8:11
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: Rerouting, recalculating.
8:14
SPEAKER_02: Depending on your GPS, it may say proceed to the route.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: Make a U-turn.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: Take the next exit.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: But guess what?
8:22
SPEAKER_02: Here's the important part here.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: Here's what's important.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: The destination doesn't necessarily change.
8:28
SPEAKER_02: The route does.
8:30
SPEAKER_02: Family, listen to me.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: That's life.
8:35
SPEAKER_02: Right?
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we need to stop acting like adjusting our route means we failed.
8:42
SPEAKER_02: I failed.
8:43
SPEAKER_02: I didn't do this.
8:44
SPEAKER_02: This happened.
8:44
SPEAKER_02: I failed.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you're still going towards that same direction, but the road you thought would get you there isn't getting you there.
8:53
SPEAKER_02: So what do you do?
8:55
SPEAKER_02: What do you do?
8:57
SPEAKER_02: You recalculate, you reroute, you move the ladder.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: Where am I?
9:02
SPEAKER_02: Where am I trying to go?
9:04
SPEAKER_02: Is the road currently on I'm on actually taking me there?
9:10
SPEAKER_02: These are good, these are valid questions, guys.
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Where am I?
9:13
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
9:14
SPEAKER_02: Where am I trying to go?
9:17
SPEAKER_02: And is the path, the road I'm currently on, actually taking me there?
9:21
SPEAKER_02: And if not, what adjustments do I need to make?
9:25
SPEAKER_02: Y'all know I love the Lord.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: But there's a scripture that comes to mind, Proverbs 16 and 9, okay?
9:31
SPEAKER_02: And it says, A man's heart divides his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.
9:37
SPEAKER_02: And I love that.
9:38
SPEAKER_02: Make the plan.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: Set the destination.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: Start climbing.
9:41
SPEAKER_02: But leave room for God to say, not this way.
9:45
SPEAKER_02: Leave room.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes what we're calling a disruption may actually be direction, right?
9:54
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the closed door isn't telling you that the destination is wrong.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's telling you adjust the route.
10:00
SPEAKER_02: Adjust.
10:01
SPEAKER_02: Check, shift, adjust.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: There's a concept.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: There's a book, actually, The Flight Plan.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: And it's a book written by Brian Tracy.
10:10
SPEAKER_02: And he talks about he talks about the airplane, right?
10:15
SPEAKER_02: There's a concept.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: And he talks about an airplane traveling towards a destination.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: And the plot, the pilot doesn't establish the direction once and then never checks again, right?
10:26
SPEAKER_02: This is the pilot.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: Think about it.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: He never established a destination once.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: Because conditions could change, right?
10:36
SPEAKER_02: The wind could change.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: Weather can change.
10:39
SPEAKER_02: Things happen.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: So adjustments have to be made along the journey.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: While you're up in the air, have you been on a plane and he comes on and he says, hey guys, looks like we got some bad weather.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna feel some rump bumps and da-da-da-da.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna try to do this and that.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: That's the same way life works, y'all.
10:59
SPEAKER_02: You cannot establish your direction at the age of 25 and never check it again.
11:05
SPEAKER_02: At the age of 30, 35, 40, 45, 55.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: You have to check.
11:10
SPEAKER_02: You have to check constantly.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: Where am I?
11:13
SPEAKER_02: And when you evaluate it, if you're not where you need to be, then shift, adjust.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: I want somebody to remember those three words.
11:21
SPEAKER_02: Check, shift, adjust.
11:24
SPEAKER_02: Check your life, check your finances, check your business, your relationships, check your goals, check your peace.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: And if and if what you're doing isn't taking you to where you're going, I need you to shift and adjust.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: Shift and adjust.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Hag I one in five says something incredibly simple.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: And when I say simple, it's three words.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: Consider your ways.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
11:51
SPEAKER_02: Consider your ways.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: Look at what you're doing.
11:54
SPEAKER_02: Look at what it's producing for you.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Look at the patterns.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: Look at the directions.
11:59
SPEAKER_02: Look at the destination.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: Because you cannot correct something that you refuse to examine.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: You can't correct it.
12:06
SPEAKER_02: And y'all know what I'm finna say.
12:08
SPEAKER_02: That would I spend sheet that I would not, that I did not want to fill out and look at it and examine.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: I couldn't fix my financial situation until I looked at what I was refusing to examine.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: Here's something else I want to bring into this conversation that we don't ask enough.
12:27
SPEAKER_02: How long have you been on this ladder?
12:29
SPEAKER_02: Ask yourself, how long have I been on that ladder?
12:32
SPEAKER_02: Has it been six months, five years, ten years, fifteen, or twenty?
12:36
SPEAKER_02: Because not everything that hurts immediately.
12:40
SPEAKER_02: It's not.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: Not everything that hurts, well, hold on.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: Not everything that's wrong hurts immediately, right?
12:48
SPEAKER_02: Not everything that's wrong.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: You ever heard the saying?
12:51
SPEAKER_02: You know, what goes around comes around, or you do wrong, um, evil, if you do if you're evil or you do wrong, you know they'll come back to get you.
13:00
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: So not everything that's wrong hurts immediately.
13:04
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes there isn't some dramatic event that makes you realize this isn't working.
13:11
SPEAKER_02: It's common sense.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: You know it's not working, but you're comfortable, right?
13:15
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes nothing changes, and that's just evidence to you.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: You're climbing, but you're no closer to where you said you want to be.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: Right?
13:24
SPEAKER_02: You're working.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: You're still in the same cycle.
13:27
SPEAKER_02: You're earning, you're still financially driving, right?
13:30
SPEAKER_02: I've been there, working my butt off.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: Right?
13:35
SPEAKER_02: Being there for everybody, working my butt off, just working, working, working, and drowning in debt, drowning in responsibility, producing, but I'm exhausted.
13:44
SPEAKER_02: Can't do this, can't do that.
13:47
SPEAKER_02: Deserve it, but can't.
13:49
SPEAKER_02: And here you are talking about changing, but another year goes by.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: You're talking about what you wish you could or if you had, you would.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: But at some point you have to stop measuring how long you've been climbing and start measuring whether you're actually getting anywhere.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: Now, we're getting to the uncomfortable part.
14:10
SPEAKER_02: I've been nice, okay?
14:11
SPEAKER_02: Because sometimes life life has already been trying to tell us something.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: But the question is, how many disappointments does it really take before you finally look at that wall?
14:22
SPEAKER_02: Does it is it one?
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Is it five?
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Is it ten?
14:25
SPEAKER_02: How many times does the same thing have to happen?
14:28
SPEAKER_02: How many financial emergencies and sleepless nights?
14:31
SPEAKER_02: How many failed attempts using the exact same strategy?
14:34
SPEAKER_02: How many times are you going to say next time will be different?
14:38
SPEAKER_02: Or I wish, I wish, I wish, or one day while changing absolutely nothing, at some point you've got to ask, is this perseverance or am I refusing to accept reality?
14:47
SPEAKER_02: And reality is sometimes you're just stuck because there's a difference between fighting for something and fighting against what the evidence keeps showing you.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes the bravest things you can do is tell yourself the truth.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: Tell yourself the truth.
15:01
SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna say something that may step on somebody's toes and maybe mine too.
15:06
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we're living in this delusional world.
15:09
SPEAKER_02: We're looking at what it is, right?
15:11
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at what it is, we're looking at what we wish it were.
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay?
15:16
SPEAKER_02: Delusional.
15:17
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at what it is, because when you know what it is, you can fix it and you will fix it.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: But you're looking at what it what you wish it were.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: All this wishing stuff.
15:26
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at the numbers.
15:27
SPEAKER_02: We're looking at what we hope the numbers become, right?
15:30
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at our actual patterns, your spending habits, just different things.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: You're not looking at not willing to take a risk or leap or take a, you know, you're just not looking at that.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: We're looking at exceptions.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at what somebody consistently does.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: We're looking at what they promise.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: We're not looking at the actual business.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: We're looking at what we imagine that business becoming.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: And there comes a time when you have to separate, y'all, what I hope will happen from what's actually happening.
15:57
SPEAKER_02: Hope is important.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: True, it is.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: Faith is important, vision is important, but wisdom only requires honesty.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: And you can't adjust a route if you refuse to admit where you actually are.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Your GPS can't get you from point A to point B if you don't if you don't know your current location.
16:18
SPEAKER_02: And neither can you.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: So before asking, where am I going, sometimes you need you need the courage to answer, where am I?
16:28
SPEAKER_02: Really?
16:28
SPEAKER_02: Where am I right now?
16:30
SPEAKER_02: Something to just where am I right now?
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Even your state of mind, because I'm a woman of faith, and I want to be careful here because sometimes we'll say, I'm just believing God.
16:41
SPEAKER_02: And yes, believe God.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: I want you to, because he's a good guy.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: Pray, have faith, trust him.
16:47
SPEAKER_02: But faith doesn't require you to ignore information.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: My boy Noah in the Bible, he believed God and he built an art, right?
16:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Noah believed God, he loved God, but he also built that ark.
17:02
SPEAKER_02: Joseph trusted God and he prepared for the famine.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: Nehemiah prayed and he rebuilt the wall.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: So faith produced action, right?
17:12
SPEAKER_02: So sometimes the most faithful thing you can do is make the adjustment.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: Move that ladder.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: Pray and move.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: Pray and move.
17:21
SPEAKER_02: Believe and prepare.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: Trust God and check them numbers.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: Have faith and reposition that ladder because maybe God isn't telling you to stop climbing.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Maybe He's showing you you've been climbing the wrong wall.
17:34
SPEAKER_02: And this is where my heart really goes out to somebody listening today.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: There's somebody listening today because everybody whose ladder is against the wrong wall doesn't look like they're struggling, right?
17:46
SPEAKER_02: Some people are quietly suffering.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: And if I can be honest, I was one of them people quietly suffering.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: Everybody saw what you had.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: They saw what you were doing, and they saw it all.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: They only saw the surface.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: Still showing up, smiling, still producing, still taking care of everybody, still going to work, still posting, closing deals, running the business, paying bills, being mom.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: And for you, others listening, being dad, being a strong one, and nobody knows.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: Everybody looking from the outside says, I'm proud of you.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: You're doing great.
18:19
SPEAKER_02: You're balling.
18:20
SPEAKER_02: You this, you that.
18:21
SPEAKER_02: You don't, you, you, you.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: But inside, you know something isn't working.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes you've been there so long you don't even trust yourself anymore.
18:28
SPEAKER_02: You start questioning your own judgment.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'm overreacting.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I just need to work harder.
18:34
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'm ungrateful.
18:35
SPEAKER_02: Maybe this is just the way life is gonna be.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: Maybe everybody feels that way.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: And eventually you become so accustomed to surviving something that you stop asking whether you should still be living that way.
18:48
SPEAKER_02: Accustomed to the pain.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the pain becomes familiar, and familiar pain can seem safer than unfamiliar possibilities.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: Let that sit for a minute.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: You know how to survive this, right?
19:02
SPEAKER_02: I did.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: You know how to function in this.
19:05
SPEAKER_02: You know that that disappointment feels like.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: You know what it feels like.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: You know how to manage this financial pressure, you know how to navigate the environments, you know how to deal with this problem.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: So even though it hurts, it's familiar.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: Moving the ladder means uncertainty, right?
19:22
SPEAKER_02: And uncertainty, it actually scares a lot of us.
19:26
SPEAKER_02: Because now we have to ask, what happens over there?
19:30
SPEAKER_02: If I move my ladder to the next destination, next location, what happens over there?
19:36
SPEAKER_02: What if I move the ladder and it doesn't work?
19:38
SPEAKER_02: What if I make another mistake?
19:40
SPEAKER_02: What if I lose money?
19:41
SPEAKER_02: What if people just don't understand?
19:43
SPEAKER_02: What if I have to start over again?
19:47
SPEAKER_02: What if?
19:48
SPEAKER_02: What if, what if, what if I'm wrong?
19:50
SPEAKER_02: But here's the question I want to give you.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: What if you're right?
19:56
SPEAKER_02: We spend so much time asking, what if it doesn't work?
20:00
SPEAKER_02: But have you ever stopped to ask, what if it does?
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Here's another group of people I want to talk to.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: You're not climbing the wrong wall anymore.
20:10
SPEAKER_02: You're standing at the bottom, holding the ladder.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: Standing there.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: Close your eyes.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: If you're not driving, you're standing there holding this ladder, and you're at the bottom, and you know something needs to change.
20:23
SPEAKER_02: You know this isn't working, but you're too afraid to choose another wall.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Are you listening?
20:33
SPEAKER_02: Are you are you listening?
20:35
SPEAKER_02: So you you've convinced yourself that standing still is safer.
20:39
SPEAKER_02: But I need you to hear me.
20:41
SPEAKER_02: Standing still is a decision.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: Doing nothing has consequences too.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: Right?
20:48
SPEAKER_02: I just told my 12-year-old twin that, uh, Colin, we were having a conversation, and he said, What if I did this, and what if, and I had to tell him if you don't do anything, you'll never know.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: And I'd rather you try and don't succeed, and to keep trying and eventually succeed.
21:10
SPEAKER_02: I had to give him breakdowns of all the famous people that tried and done things and it didn't work the first time, but they didn't let it stop them, right?
21:20
SPEAKER_02: Not deciding is a decision, not changing is a choice.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes fear doesn't look like running away.
21:27
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes fear looks like staying somewhere long after you know you need to move.
21:32
SPEAKER_02: But some of you, you don't even need motivation.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: You got the information, you research, you pray, you talk to people, you looked at numbers, you watch the different patterns.
21:44
SPEAKER_02: You're missing trust.
21:47
SPEAKER_02: You don't trust yourself to make that next decision.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: Maybe because you made a bad decision before, maybe something didn't work.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Maybe somebody told you I told you so, or that ain't that wasn't God's will, and now every decision.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Feels dangerous, but I need you to listen to me.
22:03
SPEAKER_02: You are not making today's decision with your yesterday's knowledge, right?
22:08
SPEAKER_02: We learn from our mistakes.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: We learn from our past.
22:11
SPEAKER_02: You know more now than you knew then.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: You've experienced more, you've learned more, you survived more, you have grown.
22:18
SPEAKER_02: And my Bible tells me in Proverbs 3:5 through 6.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: It reminds you to what?
22:25
SPEAKER_02: Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to your own understanding.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: Your confidence doesn't have to come from believing you'll never make another wrong decision.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: Your confidence can come from knowing.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to navigate alone.
22:39
SPEAKER_02: You can pray, you can seek wild can while wise counsel and look at the evidence and move.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: Because repositioning isn't starting from scratch.
22:49
SPEAKER_02: You're starting from experience.
22:52
SPEAKER_02: And let's do something practical here.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: Ask yourself this.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: What is the very worst thing that can reasonably happen if I try something different?
23:05
SPEAKER_02: What's the worst thing that can happen?
23:07
SPEAKER_02: I tell my clients this, my agents, I tell my kids.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: I say, what is the what's the worst thing can happen?
23:14
SPEAKER_02: When there's something you want to know, they can tell you yes or no.
23:18
SPEAKER_02: That's the worst thing.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: Not the dramatic version fear created, right?
23:24
SPEAKER_02: What's the realistic worst case scenario?
23:27
SPEAKER_02: Write it down and then ask, can I survive it?
23:30
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the answer is yes.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Maybe what you've been calling an impossible risk is actually just an uncomfortable one.
23:38
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes the worst thing that could happen is you end up right back where you already are.
23:43
SPEAKER_02: And guess what?
23:44
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: But you're already here.
23:47
SPEAKER_02: Think about that.
23:48
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we stay miserable because we're afraid of changing.
23:51
SPEAKER_02: Changing may make us look miserable.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: Right?
23:56
SPEAKER_02: We're afraid of possibly experiencing what we've already experienced.
24:00
SPEAKER_02: But ask yourself this question.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: We don't ask ourselves this question enough.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: What's the best thing that could happen?
24:09
SPEAKER_02: Right?
24:11
SPEAKER_02: What if you adjusting, realigning works?
24:14
SPEAKER_02: What if the new route is better?
24:16
SPEAKER_02: What if it finally you finally get some peace?
24:19
SPEAKER_02: What if the business becomes profitable?
24:21
SPEAKER_02: What if you get your finances under control?
24:24
SPEAKER_02: What if, what if, what if you discovered something actually you're I'm good at this?
24:30
SPEAKER_02: What if you actually get where you've been trying to go?
24:32
SPEAKER_02: We spend a lot of time preparing ourselves for failure, y'all.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: But sometimes you need to give possibility equal time.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: That'll preach by itself.
24:42
SPEAKER_02: You need to give the possibility equal time.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: Let's bring this into life.
24:49
SPEAKER_02: What's your destination, right?
24:51
SPEAKER_02: Not everybody else expects not what they expect from you, not what looks good on Facebook, not what your parents expected, not what your friends are doing, or your colleagues.
25:02
SPEAKER_02: What do you, why o you?
25:05
SPEAKER_02: Ask yourself.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: Replace the question with your name.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: What does Kirby want life to look like?
25:11
SPEAKER_02: Peace, more time with children, health, freedom, a stronger marriage, purpose, more time with God, travel, community, impact.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: What is the destination?
25:22
SPEAKER_02: Because you can't determine whether your letter is on the right wall until you know where you're actually trying to go.
25:31
SPEAKER_02: Behold, I do a new thing.
25:33
SPEAKER_02: That's Isaiah 43, 19.
25:35
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we become so committed to the old route that we miss the new thing.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: Don't become so attached to what worked in the last season that you're unable to recognize what this season requires.
25:49
SPEAKER_02: Check, shift, and adjust.
25:53
SPEAKER_02: Now let's talk finance a little bit.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: Numbers are interesting.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: I love numbers.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: Grew up numbers.
25:58
SPEAKER_02: I'm a numbers girl.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: My mom, it's funny, y'all.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: I tell people all the time for Christmas, guess what?
26:04
SPEAKER_02: We I wake up to it was blue.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: I can still see it.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: It was a timetables thing.
26:09
SPEAKER_02: You hit the button, and it may have had one times one and two or whatever, but when you hit the button, it shows up in the background.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: And I think that was the start of my love for numbers.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: But I was like, did this woman really just buy me this?
26:21
SPEAKER_02: But hey, it helped make room for me.
26:23
SPEAKER_02: I made money, tutoring maths, football players, all the good things.
26:27
SPEAKER_02: But anyway, enough about me.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: Numbers are interesting because numbers don't care about our feelings.
26:33
SPEAKER_02: If you're bringing in 10,000, right, and you're spending 12, we can pray about it.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: We can vision board it, speak positive about it, but eventually we have to deal with that 2,000.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: And that's reality.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: And that's not negativity.
26:48
SPEAKER_02: That's you having information.
26:50
SPEAKER_02: Your finances may be telling you to shift, adjust, reduce, restructure, increase your income, eliminate something, change the business model, stop spinning, maintain an image, ask for help, all the things.
27:03
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes the financial ladder needs repositioning.
27:06
SPEAKER_02: And that doesn't mean you're broke.
27:08
SPEAKER_02: You can make a lot of money, y'all, and still have a structure that isn't sustainable.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: And that's why I say I don't just teach you how to earn it, I teach you how to sustain it.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: Because sustainability requires adjustment.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: See, real estate works the same way.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes a home serves your family beautifully, right?
27:30
SPEAKER_02: For 10 years.
27:31
SPEAKER_02: But guess what?
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Life changes.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need less space.
27:35
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need more space.
27:37
SPEAKER_02: We're talking about 10 years here.
27:38
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the commute no longer makes sense for you.
27:40
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the payment is keeping you from other goals.
27:43
SPEAKER_02: Maybe maintaining that property is consuming your weekends and your children are grown and you're taking care of your aging parents.
27:50
SPEAKER_02: The house wasn't necessarily a mistake.
27:52
SPEAKER_02: It may simply no longer fit the destination, right?
27:56
SPEAKER_02: We got to get unstuck and we got to get out of the mindset of worried about what people are gonna think, right?
28:02
SPEAKER_02: It may simply not be meeting your needs, and that's why a real estate decision shouldn't be how much house can I buy.
28:10
SPEAKER_02: The question should be, what does my life need?
28:15
SPEAKER_02: What does my life need?
28:17
SPEAKER_02: My real my real estate life, what does it need?
28:20
SPEAKER_02: What does my life need my real estate to do for me?
28:25
SPEAKER_02: That's the question.
28:26
SPEAKER_02: Had to think, what does my life need my real estate to do for me?
28:31
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you have to sell, stay, refinance, invest, downsize.
28:37
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes you have to buy more land.
28:39
SPEAKER_02: It depends on the destination.
28:41
SPEAKER_02: So let me say it one more time.
28:42
SPEAKER_02: What does my life need my real estate to do for me?
28:48
SPEAKER_02: What does your life need?
28:49
SPEAKER_02: Your life.
28:50
SPEAKER_02: Not your friends, not your parents.
28:53
SPEAKER_02: What does your life need?
28:56
SPEAKER_02: Okay, entrepreneurs.
28:57
SPEAKER_02: Let's talk.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: Let's talk.
28:59
SPEAKER_02: Let's talk.
28:59
SPEAKER_02: Let's talk.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: We can become emotionally attached to our ideas because we built them, right?
29:05
SPEAKER_02: Because we sacrificed for them.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: We named them.
29:08
SPEAKER_02: We invested money.
29:09
SPEAKER_02: We told everybody about it, right?
29:11
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes the hardest thing for an entrepreneur to do is to admit that this isn't working the way I thought it would.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
29:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I felt that in my shana, as they would say.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: This isn't working the way I thought it would.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: And it doesn't necessarily mean close it.
29:29
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the business is right, but the model's wrong.
29:31
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the service is right, but the price is wrong.
29:34
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the vision is right, but the structure is wrong.
29:36
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the people are wrong.
29:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know.
29:39
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you're trying to do something yourself that you should have delegated two years ago.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: Maybe, maybe you you don't need to destroy what you've built.
29:49
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need to just what?
29:51
SPEAKER_02: Move that ladder.
29:52
SPEAKER_02: We've all heard the saying about doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
29:58
SPEAKER_02: What they say that is.
29:59
SPEAKER_02: That's insanity.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: But think about how often we actually live like that.
30:04
SPEAKER_02: Same strategy, same habits, same spending, excuses, your environment, all of it's the same.
30:08
SPEAKER_02: Then we say, I don't understand why nothing's changing.
30:11
SPEAKER_02: Are you kidding me?
30:13
SPEAKER_02: What changed?
30:14
SPEAKER_02: Nothing.
30:15
SPEAKER_02: There's a difference between persistent and refusing to pivot.
30:18
SPEAKER_02: Persistence says the destination still matters, but I may need another route.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: Move the ladder.
30:25
SPEAKER_02: Refusing to pivot says, I know this isn't working.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: But I'm gonna keep doing it because I've already invested too much to change.
30:31
SPEAKER_02: Come on, family.
30:33
SPEAKER_02: A new result may require a new direction, a new decision.
30:36
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes a new destination requires a new direction.
30:41
SPEAKER_02: So here's what I want you to do this week.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: I need you to look at your ladder and ask yourself, where am I?
30:48
SPEAKER_02: Be honest.
30:49
SPEAKER_02: Where am I trying to go?
30:50
SPEAKER_02: Be specific.
30:51
SPEAKER_02: Then is what I'm currently doing actually taking me there?
30:55
SPEAKER_02: That's the big one.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: Not am I busy?
30:59
SPEAKER_02: Not am I working hard?
31:01
SPEAKER_02: Do people think I'm successful?
31:02
SPEAKER_02: Ask, is this taking me where I want to go?
31:06
SPEAKER_02: And if it's yes, keep climbing, baby.
31:08
SPEAKER_02: But if it's no, don't immediately throw the ladder away.
31:12
SPEAKER_02: Ask what needs to shift, what needs to adjust?
31:15
SPEAKER_02: Where does the ladder need to move?
31:17
SPEAKER_02: If you can remember, Haguey, consider your way.
31:21
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes we have to stop climbing long enough to check the wall.
31:25
SPEAKER_02: And I want to speak specifically to somebody who knows it's time.
31:29
SPEAKER_02: You're afraid climbing down makes you look like you fail.
31:33
SPEAKER_02: But it doesn't.
31:34
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes climbing down is the smartest part of the entire climb because you finally realize the higher I climb this wall, the further I'm getting from where I actually want to be.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: Coming down doesn't erase what you've learned going up.
31:49
SPEAKER_02: You bring all of that with you the wisdom, the experiences, the lessons, the relationships, the scars, confidence.
31:55
SPEAKER_02: You take that ladder and you move it.
31:57
SPEAKER_02: So, family, life is gonna change.
32:00
SPEAKER_02: The market is gonna change, money, business, families, all of that's gonna change.
32:04
SPEAKER_02: You are gonna change.
32:06
SPEAKER_02: And when things change, shift and adjust, you're not required to keep climbing simply because you started climbing.
32:13
SPEAKER_02: You're not required to stay on a route simply because it was the route you originally chose.
32:18
SPEAKER_02: Look at your destination, look at your current location and tell yourself the truth about the difference between the two.
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need to keep climbing.
32:26
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need to climb down.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need to move three feet to the left, three feet to the right.
32:31
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you need an entirely different wall.
32:34
SPEAKER_02: But whatever you do, don't keep climbing the wrong wall simply because you're afraid of what it looks like to come down.
32:41
SPEAKER_02: Because Proverbs 16, 9 says, A man's heart divides it his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: So make your plans, right?
32:50
SPEAKER_02: Set your goals, dream big, build, climb, but leave room for direction, leave room for correction, and leave room for God to say not that way.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: Because maybe God isn't telling you to stop climbing.
33:02
SPEAKER_02: He's telling you to, he's trying to show you you've been climbing the wrong wall.
33:07
SPEAKER_02: The ladder isn't supposed to keep you where you are, the ladder is supposed to help you get to where you're going.
33:14
SPEAKER_02: And when that wall no longer leads towards the destination, I need you to reposition and check, shift, and climb again because sometimes climbing down isn't failure.
33:25
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's wisdom, sometimes it's courage, sometimes it's growth, and sometimes it's the first step towards finally getting where you've been trying to go.
33:36
SPEAKER_02: Guys, this has been Life, Finance, and Real Estate with your girl Kirby, the realtor.
33:41
SPEAKER_02: And remember, I'm just I don't just teach you how to earn it, I teach you how to what?
33:46
SPEAKER_02: I teach you how to sustain it, baby, because it's only about success, purpose, and growth over here.
33:51
SPEAKER_02: And I want to teach you how to own your life so you can own a piece of America.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: And until next time, family, check the wall before you climb another rung.
34:01
SPEAKER_02: Before you keep climbing, make sure your ladder is leaning against the right wall.
34:06
SPEAKER_02: Until then, until then, huh?
34:08
SPEAKER_02: Until next time, guys.
34:10
SPEAKER_02: Bye for now.
34:11
SPEAKER_02: See you soon.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for tuning in to life, finance, and real estate with Kirby the Realtor.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: You can catch us every Thursday at 12 p.m.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: on 92.1 WJMG, 93.1 WGDQ.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And also you can listen live at 921 WJMG.com or 931 WGDQ.com.
34:32
SPEAKER_00: If you happen to miss the live recording, don't fret.
34:35
SPEAKER_00: We'll replay it at 6 p.m.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: tonight.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: Thank you once again for listening to Life, Finance, and Real Estate.