Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / Kyle and Jackie O have us talking: Can you remove someone from being your child's godparent?

Transcript

Kyle and Jackie O have us talking: Can you remove someone from being your child's godparent? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Hey, wake up!
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: Anele and the club.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: On 947.
• 0:05
  Speaker 4: So I'm about.
• 0:07
  Speaker 5: To skin her about industry colleagues. Luckily, luckily, they are
• 0:12
  Speaker 5: in Australia and we are in Johannesburg. So I trust
• 0:16
  Speaker 5: that we can have this conversation and we can skin
• 0:18
  Speaker 5: her about them.
• 0:18
  Speaker 4: And y'all are not going to tag.
• 0:20
  Speaker 5: Them because you guys know you like to tag celebrities
• 0:23
  Speaker 5: around the world when we speak about them.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: And then we're quoting four-year feuds here.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Y'all, please don't tag us in this one. This is
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: a big feud happening.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: Can we just contain it here, right?
• 0:31
  Speaker 5: And I raised this story and Cindy looks at me
• 0:34
  Speaker 5: with her eyes.
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: Like, oh, you're going to go there? Yes, Cindy, I am.
• 0:37
  Speaker 5: Because you also were quite invested when the story started.
• 0:42
  Speaker 5: There was a similar show To the one we do
• 0:44
  Speaker 5: Down in Australia Yeah Okay Kyle and.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Jackie O Yeah, these two have been together for, I mean,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: must be 30 years, right? Really? That long? No, no,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: it's been decades and decades.
• 0:56
  Speaker 6: Carl and Jackie have been going for ages.
• 0:57
  Speaker 5: Yeah. But like made big money, like a big deal
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: when it comes.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: To radio in Australia, right? They basically are an L
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: in the club of Australia.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Well, I was going to say the big money is
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: our first big difference, but go on.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: I mean, we'll get there. 20 more years. 20 more years,
• 1:12
  Speaker 5: we're going to be in the money, guys.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I have faith. Anyway, and sometimes I've heard them.
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: Sometimes they would steal some of our topics, but that's
• 1:18
  Speaker 5: a story for another day. Anyway, Kyle is the male host.
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: Jackie O was the female host, right?
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Now, Kyle had a baby, ne?
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not too long ago, about a year and a
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: half or something ago.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: And then made Jackie O the godmother.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Correct.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: And then there was a huge spat. They had a
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: huge fight on air.
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: Like shareholders, companies, everybody got involved in it to try
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: and salvage this fight because obviously they were the moneymaker
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: for that radio station. But then the two were like, no,
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: it's done. We don't want to do it anymore. To
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: do a show like this, you guys, you have to
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: get along, right?
• 1:51
  Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: Out of here, out of here, out of here. Throughout
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: this entire thing, I was like, the baby. What about
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: the baby?
• 1:58
  Speaker 6: Whose baby?
• 1:59
  Speaker 5: Kyle's baby because Jackie is the godmother. So is Jackie
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: still going to be the godmother if they had a
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: fallout and they don't even want to talk anymore?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, because that raises the question. Can you change
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: the godparents of your child if you guys have a fight?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: This is a big fight, though. I've got to say,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: this is a massive fight.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: They're not going to speak again. It doesn't matter who
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: can get involved.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: Maybe they both need to cool down and maybe in 10,
• 2:23
  Speaker 5: 20 years, they'll find each other again because.
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: They really did get along. But my cry is, is
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: this something you've ever had to do?
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: Unappoint somebody as the godparent of your child?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Are you allowed to do that?
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I think you should be. Guys, you're allowed to change
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: your mind. You're literally allowed to leave your spouse. What
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: do you mean I can't remove a godparent? I don't know.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: If the relationship ends and it's at a point where
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: you guys are not going to be able to be
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: in each other's lives, then ultimately I think it's allowed
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: to change.
• 2:54
  Speaker 8: I think it depends on how you see the role
• 2:56
  Speaker 8: of the godmother. So if it's a religious thing, then
• 2:59
  Speaker 8: what happens now? Do we re-baptize our child with new godparents?
• 3:05
  Speaker 8: I think it's just a case of, well, that person's
• 3:07
  Speaker 8: no longer in my child's life. Like they'll say, oh yeah,
• 3:09
  Speaker 8: my godmother, I don't see her because X, Y, Z reasons.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's a heavy burden, hey, for a
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: 10-year-old to know that, oh, my godmother and my mama
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: are estranged, so we don't see each other.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: But then do you send a notice to the godparents
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: as well?
• 3:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't think it's an official thing.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Do you just let it drift?
• 3:23
  Speaker 5: But I think if it was a religious thing, don't
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: you guys sign papers there at the church after we
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: get baptized?
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: You sign as the godparent.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Do we? I don't think we sign as godparents, no.
• 3:33
  Speaker 8: I think we're just there to witness, but I don't
• 3:35
  Speaker 8: think we actually officially sign anything.
• 3:37
  Speaker 6: You officially sign as godparents for a wedding.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Fire them.
• 3:42
  Speaker 6: Well, as witnesses.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Get rid of them.
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: 011-8838-947. Has this ever happened to you where you had
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: to unappoint the godparents of your children's lives?
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the question is who are the godparents now? And
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe your kids are older.
• 3:57
  Speaker 7: So.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Are you still in contact with those people? Have you
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: sort of assigned it to someone else but not let
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: them know? I have a lot of questions around this.
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: I think if your kids are older, and I'm talking
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: past 14, 16, then you can leave it because in
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: any case they would have had their own relationship with
• 4:13
  Speaker 5: their godparents. It's when your children need you to maintain
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: a relationship with another adult in order for them to
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: be in your lives.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Would you still allow your teenage child, a 14-year-old, to
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: spend time with a godparent that you no longer want
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: in your life? Hmm.
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: Yes, also because adults have petty fights. Adults like to
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: think that their fights are... You guys have petty fights.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: You're the ones who don't know how to sort out
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: your differences. What do I have to do with it?
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: No, guys.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I don't think that.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Firstly, I don't see the point of a godparent, but
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: that's a story for another day. But ultimately, no. I
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: don't even know what that thing is. What are you
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: supposed to even do?
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: But no.
• 4:47
  Speaker 8: Technically, religiously, you're supposed to lead the child on the
• 4:50
  Speaker 8: religious path and help them to.
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: Blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: Well, I'm the wrong person to look at.
• 4:53
  Speaker 8: Some people take it seriously like that person becomes the
• 4:56
  Speaker 8: guardian should anything happen to you. Like some people take
• 4:59
  Speaker 8: that role very seriously.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: My mother had seven siblings. It was a lottery. One
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: of them could have been saddled with me by now.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: What's happened in your life?
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: As you can see, there's no answers on this side.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I've never considered this. I think I've never thought about,
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: do you un-Godparent someone?
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: It also goes to how do you pick the Godparents?
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: Because surely you should just pick somebody that's always going
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: to be in your life, regardless of your guy's relationship,
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: like a sibling.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Hey, don't you come and tell.
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: Don't come tell me none of that on the side
• 5:33
  Speaker 5: of town.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: 084-00-00-947.
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: Can you un-Godparent a Godparent?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: And decide to appoint them, I suppose.
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: Has it happened to you? What is the process?
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: Do you just keep it moving and then they see
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: there's another Godparent that was appointed?
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: Like, sayonara, cheers, we're out of here.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Do you send them a little notice? Sorry, because of
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: our fallout, you will no longer be side to side
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: parent for my child. I've now asked on LA.
• 5:59
  Speaker 7: My priest and his wife are my godparents. But then
• 6:06
  Speaker 7: at church, there was a bit of a rift. So
• 6:09
  Speaker 7: the whole church just went against him. So my mom
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: is also part of the church. She's just like, no,
• 6:14
  Speaker 7: he's not cool anymore, whatever. But I still get along
• 6:17
  Speaker 7: with him. I still call him. He advises me on
• 6:20
  Speaker 7: this and that or whatever.
• 6:21
  Speaker 9: I was godparent. to my best friend of the time, Sharp.
• 6:27
  Speaker 9: And then two, three years later, I get married. She's
• 6:31
  Speaker 9: my maid of honor. And then a lot of things
• 6:33
  Speaker 9: happened before then, but she ate the meat off my plate.
• 6:36
  Speaker 9: So needless to say, we're not friends anymore. Can I
• 6:38
  Speaker 9: apply to be removed as godmother or to just confirm
• 6:42
  Speaker 9: that I'm no longer there?
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: Because we haven't talked since. She ate the meat off
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: my plate.
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: She took the bigger side.
• 6:49
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: She took the drumstick.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I know, I get what you're saying.
• 6:52
  Speaker 5: And she left her with the pup. And she left
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: with the voice. Alice in Benoni.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Good morning.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Good morning. How are you?
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: We are great, Alice.
• 7:01
  Speaker 6: How are you?
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: I'm great.
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: So?
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: So I am the unappointed grandmother.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: Oh, you got unappointed?
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I have no idea why. But yeah, when it came
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: to the baptism of the childhood church, I was just
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: never told.
• 7:22
  Speaker 5: Okay, but she'd asked you to be the godmother, ne? Yes.
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: And then how quickly did the baptism happen after you
• 7:29
  Speaker 5: were asked?
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: About six months after the child was born.
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: Okay, so clearly she just changed her mind and didn't
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: want to tell you.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: You weren't invited to the baptism at all?
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: I was told there was going to be a baptism
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: and I was going to be informed of the date and, and, and.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I just found out later that the baptism
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: happened and I've just not been told about it.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Are you still friends with her now?
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: Well, it's actually a cousin's child. So like my niece,
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: my nephew.
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: Your niece, your nephew.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: My niece.
• 8:02
  Speaker 5: So you still see them at family events and you
• 8:04
  Speaker 5: guys are still talking about other things besides this thing.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: Other things besides that I've never asked about. Yeah, now
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: I don't ask. I just moved on from it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: Okay, and do you know the person who was appointed
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: godmother at the baptism?
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Who are they?
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: I think I know. I haven't confirmed, but I think
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: I know. Just another cousin of ours.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, well, then it's fine. Then I suppose the child
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: is sorted.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: It's very weird that you were asked and then a
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: few months later, unasked.
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: Did you do anything like buy a new house, buy
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: a new car.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: Lose weight?
• 8:40
  Speaker 7: No, no.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Gifts for the kids.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, lose weight, get a degree.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: You know the things that upset girls about other girls
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: that they're supposed.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: To be friends and cousins.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: I was going through quite a lot, you know, in
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: my life at the time. So I thought, you know,
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: maybe they thought it was going to be too much
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: for me.
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: I just, Yeah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: At least they could have told me that we are
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: ungodmothering you or something.
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: So, no, she definitely owes you a conversation, but then... Yeah,
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: I just think that's not the person you want around anyway.
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: Good luck to them.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: God bless.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: She was probably running around offering everyone this title.
• 9:14
  Speaker 5: Hey, sometimes when too many brutal fruits hit, and then
• 9:20
  Speaker 5: the next one, and then next. No, I know that excitement, guys,
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: of appointing everyone to do something.
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: And then now you're like, oh, what? What am I
• 9:29
  Speaker 4: going to do now?
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: And you just like ostrich it, hide your head in
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: the sand and hope it goes away.
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: Noko, you're in the Instagram. Hi, guys.
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: How are you?
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: We're great, Noko.
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: How are you? I'm good.
• 9:41
  Speaker 10: So I'm the one who did the ungodmothering.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 9:47
  Speaker 10: Okay, so me and this girl were friends for like
• 9:52
  Speaker 10: the longest of time. Since we were in grade four,
• 9:55
  Speaker 10: that was sometime in 2008. maybe not even 2000, 1998.
• 10:04
  Speaker 10: That's how long we were best friends. And then it
• 10:10
  Speaker 10: just kept on being constant bickering of, I don't attend
• 10:15
  Speaker 10: her stuff. So she relocated to Botswana. I stayed in
• 10:18
  Speaker 10: South Africa. And then time and again, she will have
• 10:20
  Speaker 10: events and I will not be able to attend because
• 10:24
  Speaker 10: we are all the way to the side and I
• 10:26
  Speaker 10: have decided.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: To start my own family.
• 10:28
  Speaker 10: She was the godmother to all three kids that are
• 10:32
  Speaker 10: my kids, from my son till my last daughter, so
• 10:38
  Speaker 10: from 2012 until 2020. And when the fight sparked.
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: I just felt.
• 10:46
  Speaker 10: I feel that a disadvantage because I need to keep
• 10:49
  Speaker 10: coming to Botswana for things. She doesn't come to Africa
• 10:52
  Speaker 10: for my events. And I'm now calling her the godmother
• 10:56
  Speaker 10: to my children. If there's events, if there's parties, if
• 10:59
  Speaker 10: there's this, she doesn't attend. She doesn't avail herself.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: She zooms.
• 11:03
  Speaker 10: Is she worthy being a godmother to my kids?
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: No, she's not.
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: Because the thing about being a godparent is it's a
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: lot of effort.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to be present.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: And that's the thing about most titles, right?
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: Is that people want a title. Oh, my godchildren, my godchildren,
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: my godchildren, I'm godchildren. But then you don't want the
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: work that comes with it.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: And it's also a sacrifice.
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: And time.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: And finances.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: And if she's like, you need to bring your kids
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: to Botswana in order for your kids to have a godparent,
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: then you're absolutely right. You must.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: But how did you do it? Did you do it officially?
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: Did you write to her later? Did you have a
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: conversation with her?
• 11:40
  Speaker 10: We just decided that the friendship was done. So then automatically,
• 11:45
  Speaker 10: then I need to now appoint a sibling either from
• 11:48
  Speaker 10: my side or from my husband's side to be a
• 11:51
  Speaker 10: godparent for either child. So we just decided to.
• 11:55
  Speaker 10: End it and say, guys, it's been nice. Shake hands.
• 11:59
  Speaker 10: We'll meet in the next lifetime.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: But what is the role of Godparent for you in
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: your life? What is it that you need them there for?
• 12:07
  Speaker 10: I feel for me, number.
• 12:08
  Speaker 6: One is presence.
• 12:09
  Speaker 10: If I can be present for you, be present for me,
• 12:12
  Speaker 10: be present for the kids. It doesn't have to be constantly.
• 12:15
  Speaker 10: It doesn't have to be.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Every year's birthday party.
• 12:18
  Speaker 10: But time and again, when we have an event that
• 12:21
  Speaker 10: I feel counts, Pitch. Let's pitch up.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: Presence, guidance, and a second parent to your child. Yeah.
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: Definitely. Definitely.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: And the thing is, if you're going to look at
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: the way you parent, and if you're a present parent
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: to your child, then you kind of expect that from
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: a gone parent.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: Oh, y'all have been going through it.
• 12:42
  Speaker 10: Take it back now.
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: Back to making your morning.
• 12:45
  Speaker 8: Back.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: On LA and the club.
• 12:47
  Speaker 7: I love this show.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: On 947.