Latest / Birth at Work / S2 EP21 | Postpartum On My Time & My Terms
Transcript
- Krislyn Powell: Hello and welcome to another episode, a solo episode with me, your host, Krislyn Powell. I am always happy to be here and always just thrilled to look forward to these episodes and have this conversation. I feel like it's refreshing to be able to have, I would say, this community. know Bri Rios, who is actually first guest on our season one mentioned that this is like a little community of working parents who get it and I want to figure out a way to connect to everyone all of my guests in a way that would be relevant so that we like all of us that get it can network and connect and have this you know beehive mindset of supporting one another. so coming from my background of working in community communications, you know, events and experiences, just, that seems like a really good next stepping point for me to. to add this additional layer, but besides that, that's not really the point here of this episode. What I really wanted to chat with you about is, well, for one, my hair is different. got, my hair is a different color. I don't know if anyone will notice, but that's also not the topic of the conversation today. But I've been blonde pretty much my entire life and my roots were grown. growing in a little bit darker. Since having kids, my hair has gotten a little bit darker. So we just kind of rolled with it and brought the color down and I'm just feeling the light brown out and we are rolling with it. So as my sister would say, it's a new era. It's a new era of Kris. So here we are. But speaking of that new era, I really wanted to have conversation around the topic of shifting gears, career pivots, transitions, and what that's really like for not only working parents, but for someone like me who just had a baby. And you know, I've done some pretty drastic career pivots in my time. I will say a lot of it has been in the workplace working for someone else, but I want to give you a little bit of background and let you know that I actually, you know, started my career in journalism. I started my college focus in journalism. And then as I started going through classes and working through my major, I realized like, oh, journalism is changing so much, I actually have more of a passion and interest in going into recreation management. And so I learned about programs and events through recreation management and had like a community emphasis through that. And then I did my internship at a community events venue and it had, you know, concerts, festivals, races, all of these things. And it was just like a hub for community liveliness and support. and a really cool experience because I met my mentor and she's just been like so amazing to me throughout my entire career. But after that, I actually moved back to my home state and I took a job with a nonprofit, but it was like a local. gym, thinking like sports, community programs, like all of that good stuff, so I was a director there for them for a while and then I had the opportunity to move into corporate. So I had a friend refer me to a corporate job and then my mentor reached back out to me and pulled me into her event realm in corporate and all this to say, just spurred in me really this like corporate girly transformation if you will. So I... Then had a very long 11 year corporate career where I shifted from primarily like in-person events to, and that was like in the community, but also in office. And then moving from that did all in the community events and then worked for different government associations and downtown districts and worked my way around that scene. And then after that, had the opportunity to shift back into tech. So I went from like tech to government back to tech and moved into when I was in government, I had shifted more into communications as well. When I went back to tech, I shifted into community and worked online community, which it was just really booming at that point. Like lot of things were shifting to virtual environments. And so I'd done so much in person and then was like, well, this, you know, this makes sense. So in my interview, they're asking about platforms that I've experienced with. And I did have experience with certain platforms, but since community was like such a trigger word and a lot of it was like new at that point, I had the kind of flexibility to be able to say like, look at what I've done before in person and how that translates. And yeah, so I did community tech and was head of community for a while and then shifted into learning and development from there and was a trainer and a developer of learning programs for tech. And then I was pushed to another team. And based off of all of my events, community, communications, learning and development experience, was poached to an employee experience team. So I had done a lot of customer facing stuff and then now was being moved into the employee side because I had those years of experience with training and development for employees. And then now it's like, you've seen it all, you've journey mapped for customers inside and out and you've also done a lot of internal stuff because you were so familiar with customer experience. So now like, let's formally make you head of employee experience in this role and... Yeah, so that was like a lot of twists and turns and pivots and through all of it was kind of just like, yes and, like I can help with that and you know, like let me say yes and I will do X, Y, Z. So this is how my experience before translates. This is what I'm willing to do and yes, like why not? So a lot of it was just like. being open and also being able to tell my story. And so when I think about all of that now, you know, we have been really open on this show and this podcast and talking about why it is time for me to step away from corporate. And I, I'm going on six months of being away from corporate and I told my husband walking into this decision that I would take six months minimum away for my personal leave before I looked for any other work. And when I was, you know, letting people know about this, I had some folks tell me like, well, let me know when you're ready to go back to work because I can refer you here, here and here. And just had some really, really nice opportunities and basically like like people that were willing to. root for me and people that were willing to give me a leg up and help me in my next step based off of our previous experience. And I loved that. And I'm really grateful for that. And in that same breath was working on things on my own because I'm really... feeling called to that at this time. And the reason why it makes sense is because I have extensive experience in corporate and I feel like I've done nearly everything that I can do in the way, in the direction that I wanna move there. I'm really, like as much as I kind of... expose or rather I think the word is like highlight the ways that corporate can be better for working parents. I also had a really lovely corporate career and I look at that time on my life and just think about all of the amazing memories and people that I met and I'm really grateful for it. there's not like, it's not like, like corporate, like, you know, that was the worst. It's like, that was a really wonderful time in my life. In that same breath, it is time to move on. So I'm building out my business and the reason why, and you know, how I'm doing that, the reason why it makes sense for me, you know, we talked about like, I've kind of already done like everything that I could do, I looked at the leadership above me and ahead of me and even kind of the people around me and I just thought, I don't want that. I don't want it. And so that was a signal to me of like, Okay, it's time to move. And some of the reasons being like flexibility in my schedule, in the ability to work wherever and whenever I need to, and then also, you know, the understanding of like never having to report to anyone but myself. Like, I tend to grind and... working on boundaries for myself to like not grind too hard and setting those like dynamics of, this is mom time, this is work time, has been really healthy for me. And I have established routines and systems that work really well for my business and well for my family at this stage. I also am taking an intentional time over the course of this year to be downshifted because my kids are only this little right now. And I... know, support the ability to have childcare. Like we had my four year old in preschool and daycare five days a week, four days from the point of him being like 18 months old up until four. And that's like. great. We had a wonderful school and an environment where he just flourished and he met the most amazing friends and teachers and I owe so much to them but at the same time like It was really healing for me to be able to take him from five days a week down to three and have my baby, my six month old now, with me all the time. And we have a babysitter that comes. I did a little sub stack post on it. My Substack is Beautiful Birth. But that, if you really like want to follow along this journey and this like, you know, arch that I'm creating from corporate to building my own business as a mom who just had a baby. second baby and has two littles at home and I mean two dogs too, I can't that but if you really want to follow me and my journey you can jump over to Substack and subscribe to Beautiful Birth but I talk about how you know it's just this is my own beautiful birth you know I talk about building my business as like a birth of you know its own and and the journey there and so I do have a sitter that comes in one day a week and she's wonderful and that's when I podcast and write and create content without... know, otherwise having kids on my arms. And it is a great time for me to connect to who I was and also to who I'm becoming. And I think that's really beautiful. So I recognize that I'm privileged and I have the ability to be in this downshifted mode because I have a really supportive partner, husband who's amazing and has a portfolio career as well and works multiple different facets and has passions that allow us to have a beautiful life with me not working full time. But in my part-time capacity, I'm coaching, consulting, and podcasting, and it's beautiful. I told you I write about it, I speak about it, I teach others about it, and so I really just... want this to be an experience that, I've talked to so many other moms, I want it to be an experience where other moms can see what I'm doing and do the same if it works for them and if it's the right time for them. That's kind of why I'm doing it is like I love my family so much and I want to be able to have the opportunity to say like, hey, you know, we like maybe at schools, like we don't have a great option for schools in our area. Cool. I can homeschool my kid for a year if I need to. Or I just like genuinely want to have more time with them. Like I want to know my family and be there and I want to enjoy my life. Like I'm baking sourdough. I'm like building my dream garden in my backyard. I get to just sit in my living room sometimes and have my dogs pile all over me and not worry about Slack notifications, which is really nice. I do have Slack and I do have notifications coming from there, but it's not like, my gosh, my livelihood is at stake if I don't answer this message. So that's been really good for my nervous system, I think, in a big way. And then... Also, let's talk about the what and the how. So I mentioned to you, I have this podcast. I launched it when my labor actually started. It was like right before I went into labor with my second last fall. And then we're in season two now, which is so cool. And we have a ton of support and interested folks in joining the mission and the conversation. And it's just a really important, lovely topic. talking about how us as working parents get more support. And I have Beautiful Birth, which we talked about as my sub stack, which I write about my journey and that's a way to follow along. I also have a few Instagram pages I manage, so Find Flow and Birth at Work. Find Flow is the Instagram page that talks all things birth coaching, so I have a birth coaching arm in my business. Basically, I had the most incredible unmedicated, easy, lovely labor and birth experience, and incredible supported, lovely dream postpartum experience, and my baby is... I mean, everyone's baby is perfect, but my baby came out just so amazing. he's like off the growth charts, right? He's just, he's really like the coolest, most calm baby ever. Like, I love my first son so much, but if I knew then what I know now about birth, I would have done things so much differently. And so... I have a coaching arm that offers that advice for new and busy moms in a way that's digestible because we get so much information that is overwhelming when we are pregnant or looking to, you know, trying to conceive, looking to get pregnant, trying to, you know, fix our fertility. And then also, like, during pregnancy, like, it should just be a really relaxed, easy time, but people put so much pressure on it, and it doesn't need to be that way. And there are so many options for the birth experience, and there's so many people that want your money. And, like, you don't need it. You don't need all of the things, especially, like, with the registry for the baby items. Like, you don't need all of the things. You really... You should invest in a doula, so you should do. That birth coach business is one of the things that I do is I help new and busy moms figure out, okay, I want to have a holistic, beautiful birth experience that is calm and easy. And I birth the way that I live and at work, it's like crazy. And I am so busy at home and like, how do I do this? So I teach you how to do it. And then I also have a consulting arm through Flow as well, which consults companies on building adequate community structures for their working parents. So I have been and am taking clients for that, which is really cool. And like really, really refreshing that companies are reaching out and are committed to doing that. So it's high time. But I'm being really intentional about who I take on for those clients because I don't want it to be just anyone that's not gonna actually implement what I consult on. that's definitely like a really intentional arm of what I do. And... Yes, and I also am taking speaking engagements and writing about what I do and podcasting and interviewing other folks. So that's the what. And it's a cool conversation because I think it's something that I'm going to be able to talk about and live and breathe honestly for the foreseeable future, like probably forever. because I'm so passionate about the birth experience and what working parents experience and that is truly like my identity. And it's so cool that I get to be able to do this. Like I recognize the privilege of that. And so that's why I'm committed to doing it. Like I'm gonna be honest, some days I wake up and I'm like, I was up until 3 a.m. like with a teething baby and now it's six and. Like I don't want to put on makeup and record or like I don't want to take this meeting with this person that's a potential client or I don't want to put a dress on. Sometimes I feel like that. Like I'm so tired sometimes. And then I just... Honestly, I'm a religious person, so I have at times gotten down on my knees in the morning and prayed and just been like, help me understand what am I learning through this time? Because it's hard. There's the hard that people don't see, like the iceberg analogy where people just see your success and how you position yourself and the story that you're telling and they don't see the grit and... the strength that it takes and the lost sleep and all of the mental load. And sometimes I really feel that. I'm gonna be honest, but. Choose your heart. Like, we have all heard that. It's not something I just made up. It's like, it was hard having a corporate career and not being around for my kids. And at the same time, it can be hard if I make it to be at home and not structure my time wisely to use it appropriately so that I am productive. But I've never been one that's like burned my time and not used it well. Like I know the power and the worth of time. And so I'm choosing my hard. And I'm also doing other things in my life that are making it easier to show up in my business. Like I... am communicating with my partner and spending quality time with him and I am going to the gym every day. Like I am a person who goes to the gym. That is part of my identity. Like I need to work out and be strong in order to fully show up in my life and for my kids and for me. So all this to say, yeah, all of those things are. important. I mean, we've probably most of us have read Atomic Habits by James Clear, but I listened to a podcast on the Mel Robbins podcast featured him and he was talking about just when we're building habits, we make them consistent, we make them easy, we make them attractive. And you think about it in terms of like, I am this type of person. Like I am the person that would go to the gym. So you go to the gym. I am the person that would record one episode a week of a podcast. So you record that episode. You know, I am a person that follows up on emails quickly. So you follow up on emails quickly. Like I'm the person that shows up to events when I RSVP. So you show up to those events. You don't cancel on people. So. That's what I think, you know, and then I build in my systems, you know, he talks about like building systems so that you can achieve your habits, like not setting goals, but like building systems so that you can standardize and then optimize those habits and. So think this is like beneficial for you to hear that. You know, when Birth at Work started, like there were some things that weren't pretty, but at the same time I was like, I'm literally pregnant and I'm like going into labor. So, and then postpartum, like I don't want to be bothered. And I pre-recorded and pre-edited like all the stuff that went out when I was in postpartum. And so I was like, I recognize that. I'm gonna standardize this now. I recognize that I can make it better later as long as I do it and I put it out. And I saw that, you know, so think that's what everything is just like. I was an athlete, I grew up playing sports and I understand like the power of just simply showing up and especially working in events and community like the power of just simply showing up and doing the thing is really important and so I'm doing it and then that's kind of like the how I went into the how without really segueing super smoothly, but I wanted you to hear some of the struggles and some of the things that are coming up, but in the how, know, I'm taking, I take meetings intentionally and strategically, so if folks wanna meet with me, take a look at their background, profile, figure out if it's a match, kind of before the meeting, because I only have so much time. Like I... I'm very supportive and very open in connecting with folks, but if it's not, like nothing is like a sense of urgency if it's just a like a one-on-one connect for me and so I'm... just intentional with my time of who I book meetings with. I'm intentional with my time of who I'm recording with. I'm specifically blocking out with podcasts and seasons where I know like I can do these interviews now and launch this now and then later I can take a break because that's how I ebb and flow. that's just how I'm running my business is like I'm showing up in certain peaks and then there are valleys where I can take rests. So I think that's important for everyone to hear as well is just that like I see some folks, and this is not a knock on the way that they're doing things, but it's not anything that would work for me as a mother and me personally with the way that I want to nurture my nervous system, but I see some folks just like grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, I don't love that word, but just like constant. And it's like they're posting like every day and they're like... telling you like you have to do this until it's perfect and you have to get up at, you know, 4 a.m. and you have to post every day and you have to like be an expert and you have to, like none of us know what we're doing, like truly. If you're doing something worthwhile, you're probably figuring out as you go along a little bit. We're taking our experience that we've had in the past and we're applying it, yes, but truly no one is an expert in life and none of us know what we're doing. If you are doing work that's worthwhile, then you're trying new things and you're putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and you're simply showing up and giving your best effort. You're giving it the college try. So when I see people that are like, to an expert, you have to be perfect, you have to show up 110 % every day. It's like... But then what happens when you burn out? Like what happens when you need to rest and you don't and then your health is compromised? Or you miss out on time with your family? Or you don't make time for hobbies or things that you love and work becomes your identity? What happens then? Like truly. I just, those were some questions that I asked myself when I was grinding it out in my corporate career and I was pregnant with my second and I just said, you know, as I was looking around and it seemed like there was an expectation for me to bounce back from my pregnancy and birth like super quickly. Again, I was like, respectfully, no. Respectfully no. You get one life. You get one. And I love to work. I love to have a purpose outside of my family, but I also know that mother is the most important role I will ever have in my entire life. And... At some point very soon my kids are gonna be adults and it's gonna go by like that and I don't wanna be sitting. at their college graduation or at their wedding thinking I barely know them or I was barely there or I wish I would have. life happens so fast. Do you really want to be tied to your office chair burning your eyes out against your laptop screen? or your phone screen at dinner. or traveling. and be stuck inside of offices all day long while your kids are with somebody else. Maybe you do. If you do, this podcast probably isn't for you. I'm just gonna be honest. I just didn't want that. And I'm so grateful that... I have the choice and I understand what radical responsibility means and so I'm responsible for my time and I'm responsible to fully be present. I'm working more now as a mom than I was ever before. And it's like really, this is all just really cool for me. Like I get to build the business on my time and my terms. I get to mother on my time and my terms. Not answering to anyone. And when I work, I freaking work. So... And the work that I produce is... really high caliber, well thought out and supportive for working parents, for birthing mothers. for companies who get it. I am so happy to be doing this work. So grateful and also just so glad to be a mom. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.