Latest / CLEAR Performance Coaching / Podcast #6 - How To Coach The People You Lead - Fulll Version

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Podcast #6 - How To Coach The People You Lead - Fulll Version · CLEAR Performance Coaching

• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is where leadership performs practically.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: So you can step in and show up on purpose every day.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, I'm Kent Vaughn.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Rick Timlick.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm Sam Bracken.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: And we're the co-founders of Clear Performance Coaching.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: We want to welcome you to this episode of our Clear Performance Coaching podcast.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: And as always, we're focused on helping leaders become excellent coaches who create extraordinary results.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Everything we're doing is how do we help people get better, including ourselves.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: So we're so excited to welcome you to this episode.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to talk about the category of coaching we call how to coach.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's one of the eight categories in our clear performance coaching cards.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: And this is such a great one because, frankly, most of us don't know how to coach.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: I've asked so many leaders who taught you how to coach?
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: And virtually everyone says, nobody.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of had to learn it on my own.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: And frankly, I'm not very good at it.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So let's jump into this how to coach.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: The first card is actually the mechanics of coaching.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: Sam, you've been doing this for 30 years.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: What's your thought about how do we kick this off about how to coach?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_04: The first thing I want to talk about, the mechanics of coaching, is everybody thinks they're a great coach and they're not.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: It's the biggest misnomer.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_04: Well, you need to coach so-and-so up.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, go spend some time with this guy and coach him up, which is like code for go grind on them so they get better.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_04: And I'm like, no, that's not how it works, right?
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_04: So they don't understand what coaching is and what it's not.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_04: They don't understand how to be an effective coach, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_04: And most of us on this call, you know, you had some experience, whether it was in sports or some kind of theater or music, where you had some influential leader, a teacher, like where you had some influential leader that really helped you progress and have meaningful results in your life.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_04: And over the years, we've created some real what we call the inspirational leader.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_04: So over the years, we've developed a way to explain how people can become an inspirational coach or leader, right?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_04: And I guess we made it more cute than we should have, but we call it the six C's of coaching for meaningful results, right?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_04: And it starts with the first C is really to care about an individual.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_04: To truly, honestly care about someone, to see the good in them, to be a light, not a judge, right?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_04: To show interest in somebody, to care about them.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_04: People know if you care about them or you don't.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_04: They know.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_04: And you can't hide it.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_04: You may think you can hide it, but you can't.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_04: To honestly care about your people is really important.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_04: And also care about results and care about your team members.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_04: Like this idea of caring is really critical for yourself, for the people you coach, and for the organization you work in, right?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_04: That's the first thing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_04: Now, when you do that, it naturally causes you to do the second thing, which is be curious, right?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: To show interest, to let people know they matter.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_04: And this isn't like, hey, how you doing?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_04: Because you're busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, and you're cordial and you say, hey, how you doing?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_04: No, it's not that.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_04: It's like, tell me something you're looking forward to today.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_04: Like help me understand what you're dreading, like what's great in your life, what sucks in your life.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_04: Like it's just being curious and then shutting your mouth and listening to understand, right?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_04: And part of curiosity is understanding the value that you get when you truly can demonstrate to you understand somebody and see from their perspective.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_04: Brene Brown would call this empathy when you see from someone's perspective, right?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_04: You don't necessarily have to agree with them to understand their point of view, right?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_04: This is where understanding how people feel to get to how they're thinking really matters here, right?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_04: And as you do this and as you show empathy and you share understanding, what's going to happen is you're going to be connected, which is the third C.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_04: It's going to lead to connection.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_04: And you can't lead or coach anybody without connection.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_04: Because if you're not connection, people are just going to flip you the bird.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_04: They're going to give you public, you know, compliance and private defiance.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_04: They will not care.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_04: If you're going around telling people what to do, they're going to say, yeah, sure, sure, boss, yeah-huh.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_04: And then they're walking away and going, hey, I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_04: Like they're not going to, they're not going to pay attention to you.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_04: But with that connection, right, you have to earn the right to be connected.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_04: But when you do that, then you have earned the right to challenge them to get better.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_04: And we all want to create a culture of challenge where we're continuously getting better in every facet of our work, in every facet of our development, in every department, in every team, every individual, that we're constantly being challenged to get better.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_04: Now there's a very fine line between, you know, putting so much pressure on people they crush.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_04: There's a very fine line between putting so much pressure on people they collapse, or so much heat on people they melt, right?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_04: This is not what we're suggesting.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_04: We're suggesting a just a nice little challenge, right?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_04: Just turn up the temperature just a little bit.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_04: And as you do that, you do that with the fifth C, you do that with the fifth C, and that is commitment.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_04: You do that with commitment.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_04: Get them make a commitment, you make a commitment, and then you have the commitment cycle, right?
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I always hear about well, how do you get people to care about their job, or how do you motivate them like the way I'm motivated?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_04: I'm like, you don't.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_04: You get them to make and keep commitments, and then you reward them and you recognize them when they keep their commitment.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: Because when they keep their commitment after they make it around a hard thing, their personal power is going to increase.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: And when they make a commitment and they don't keep it, their personal power diminishes, right?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_04: So this idea of making and keeping commitments is how we improve performance.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's how we create a culture of challenge that everybody has a goal.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_04: Everybody knows how to accomplish the goal.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_04: They're all making commitments around the things they need to do daily to achieve the goal.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_04: And when they fail, they adjust and they learn and they move forward.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_04: But as you do this, as you make and keep commitments, you're gonna have the time where you're gonna make a mistake.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_04: You're gonna screw it up.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_04: So that the sixth C is correction.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_04: To be a leader without correcting, and this is really important to understand.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_04: Where people fail, they fail in two areas.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_04: They fail in being curious enough to understand, and they fail in correcting bad behavior.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_04: Because what you allow, you accept.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_04: And if someone's doing something really, really poorly, right, let's say they deliver results, but their character is terrible.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_04: They lie, steal, and cheat, right?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_04: And we tolerate that.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_04: Well, guess what?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_04: That's not bad, that's not good.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_04: That's gonna destroy your culture.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_04: So correcting is one of the hardest things to do as a leader, but it's necessary, it's necessary to continue to improve.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_04: And as you to start from the beginning, as you care about someone and you're curious about them, right, that leads to connection.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_04: And as you have that connection, then you've earned the right to challenge them.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_04: And as you challenge them, you do that with helping make them making and keeping commitments.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_04: And when they fail around making and keeping commitments, or they fail to get the desired outcome, we make correction to get meaningful results.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_04: And if you understand those layers, if you understand how to do that, coaching them becomes very, very easy.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_04: So it's a leadership, an inspired coach, and leadership framework that has never failed any of us.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_04: So I hope that made sense.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_02: And the critical part, you know, is the sequence matters because coaching is not a one-time event, it's a continuous learning loop, like you talked about, Sam.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so we follow that sequence knowing we're gonna start again at the top of that loop and keep going around.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it is circular.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_04: It's super circular.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_04: I like to say it's a spiraling staircase going upward, ascending to better performance.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_04: Love that.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I think about when I think about correction is much like the word accountability, it sounds like it's inherently negative.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason it sounds inherently negative is it so often is in our lives and has been in our lives, right?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so one of the things that consider is we're talking about correction here, we're talking about correction in a way that increases confidence, increases the belief that your belief in them that they can do this, you know, not correcting in, yeah, you're a schmuck and you should just leave and get out of here, right?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: We're correcting in a way that builds confidence, builds esteem in the sense that, yeah, that didn't work, so now we're gonna do this.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: Or we're gonna reformulate something, not correct in a way where they lose motivation, they lose incentive, they lose the belief that they can do it, because often people get completely motivated and think, yeah, give up on that, and then it's the old quiet quitting, right?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Which has been around for a very long time.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: You quit, but you you quit and you stay, right?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's that is not what we want to have happen at all.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: With correction, is we're gonna keep working together to help them get better and help them achieve the goal.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_04: I think it's important, I think it's important to understand that what you're saying, Kent, is really critical here, and that is correction without leaving scars.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: You correct without leaving a scar.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah like you can do this, you can correct without leaving a scar, right?
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_04: And the way you do this, if you want to talk about the mechanics of this, is you do this in private, never in public.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_04: You praise in public and you correct in private, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_04: You do it one-on-one, and then you need to be open to correction yourself.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_04: So it's a two-way street as the coach.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_04: Like, and this makes them open to receiving feedback and receiving correction.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_04: If you're open to receiving correction and open to feedback, it's I'm telling you, man, to be a good coach, you gotta have the ego has to be checked at the door.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_04: Pride has to be checked at the door because it gets in the way of helping people get better.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I would just speak on the coaches point of view, because here's what I really love if I geek out academically on the inspirational leader and the six C's we talked about.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: When we talk about self-determination theory, it really shows that people sustain effort.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: So, sustained effort, they do it better when three needs are supported.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: They've got autonomy, they've got competence, and they've got relatedness to it.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_02: Now, let me put that in plain English.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: People become more coachable when they feel they have some choice, they believe they can improve, and they trust the person helping them.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: And you satisfy all three of those self-determination needs.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: That was super concise.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_04: I love that.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_04: I love that.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_04: We always leave it to Rick to give us the academic, like, make sure we're not making stuff up.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_04: It's good that Sam's not making stuff up.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_04: It actually's all legit and it works.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, it works.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Field tested and lab tested, as we'd say.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: There we go.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: That's exactly it.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that makes me think of that on two of these cards, we uh they're right by each other.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: Benjamin Franklin, tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then Confucius, I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: And and the idea is getting people involved in the process and helping them do things, do better, not be stuck, get unstuck if they're stuck, but continue to believe that I can do better because if people if they check out, they're done.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it may take a long time for you to figure out that they're done.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and I go ahead, Rick.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna add, and and I've got seven children, so we've had our own little lab, which has been great.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: And we have right in the card, Sam, you came up with this.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: Speak people speak to their beliefs with their behavior.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: And show us behavior's data, just like you're talking about, Kent.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: People reveal their beliefs, their habits, their blind spots, their emotional patterns.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: And all seven of our children have grown up, and they would all say we have different parents than each other, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's they all interpret it, they all analyze it, they all see it differently.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: But those beliefs that they have have informed their behaviors and the actions they keep doing.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_04: That's really true.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_04: And one of the one of the one of the best tools you have as a coach is the ability to observe behavior.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_04: So I cannot tell you how much I learn if I just observe, evaluate, and listen.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_04: So I often say to people, what I see is this.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_04: What I hear is this.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I don't know if that's working out for you.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_04: You know, yeah.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: I see you, I see you like, you know, fighting with your teammates, or I see you arguing with your peers a lot, and I don't see a lot of resolution to that.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_04: I'm observing, I use the power of observation as a coach to state for my perspective on what I'm seeing, and then I listen to try to get them to explain it, and I'm like, and then if the results are a dismal, if their performance and the results are dismal, I say, Well, how's that working out for you?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_04: Like by using the power of observation and just painfully stating the obvious and evaluating.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_04: Well, it seems like you're bitching a lot, you're complaining a lot, and it seems like your last performance review was terrible.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_04: Like, how's that working out for you?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_04: Right.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_04: My observation is I understand why people are giving you this rap, right?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_04: You know, and this is where we can say, well, what can you learn from this?
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_04: And if you were to change, what would you change and how would you adjust?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_04: And get them.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_04: This is where you use one of these skills on how to coach, which is you're pulling the answer out of them.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: This is a really important tool to use in your mechanics of coaching, and that is to not give them the answer.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_04: Do not give them the answer.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_04: You pull it out of them.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_04: Now, why do you do that?
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_04: Why are you pulling the answer out of them?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_04: So they think it's theirs.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: I think I've said this in another podcast, Sam, but you're talking about this idea of bringing it out of them.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: I was coaching an individual recently, and uh they were, and I might even use this story in another podcast, but it's such a good story that she was uh it was completely them, them, them.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: The problems are them.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone, it's everyone else, it's not me.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know why they keep saying it's me, it's everybody else.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I just let her listen and talk and ask a couple of questions.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, tell me more about that, tell me more about that.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then she talked about that her peers wouldn't come to her with a problem.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: They'd go to their boss, who'd go to their boss, who'd go to her boss, who'd come down to her.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I just simply said, So why do you think they won't just come to you?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: And she thought for a minute and she said, I guess maybe they're kind of scared too.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Well, why do you think they're scared to?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thinking, well, I guess because in the past I've kind of taken their head off and I've done this and that and the other.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you can see the light start to come on, realizing that, okay, maybe it really is me.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: But if I'd gone in saying, Hey, the CEO told me it was you, the COO said it was you, the head of HR said it was you, it's you, and she wasn't gonna listen, right?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Give her a chance to just kind of and I remember we the first few several minutes, she just gone, everyone did has done this and that and the other, and I thought, well, I'm just gonna let her talk, let her talk, let her talk.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: And just the simple question, so why do you suppose they won't come to you?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Since then, it's been a fundamentally different experience talking to her, coaching with her, because she's like, okay, all right.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it really is me.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, as a matter of fact, it is you.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, well, it's funny, you had to you had to earn the right, you had to earn the right to ask her what her part what her part in that was.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_04: Like, what's your part in this?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna add, what you did though is you also noticed and pointed out just the pattern, and you allowed her to come up with the thinking behind that pattern.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: But I think unless you were able to isolate and demonstrate the pattern, the intervention's gonna be misdirected, and you're gonna get caught into well, I think I feel, and you think you feel.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: But the pattern itself was just brilliantly brought out.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's what good coaching depends on.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you pulled her out of her crocodile brain without even knowing it, right?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_04: And one of my one of my favorite things is in this notion of learn by doing, right?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_04: When people learn by doing and you observe them.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_04: I remember in sports, my son Ben was a really talented baseball player, and he was on a comp team in Georgia.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_04: We moved to Utah, and you know, he's on a comp team here, and he's not doing really well.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_04: And then I find out that every single kid on this comp team has a pitching coach, has a hitting coach, and has all these, you know, extra and we're like, okay, so we get him a hitting coach and a pitching coach.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_04: And what happens is he quickly learns by doing how to make the adjustments in his hitting stance and his swing and the way he approaches the ball.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_04: And we go to the Little League, you know, playoffs back east, and we have uh, you know, they have this big World Series and playoffs and stuff.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_04: We go there.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_04: And my son Ben, you know, hits a grand slam and has a great memory around you know, knocking it out of the park, but he had to learn to adjust his stance, his swing, and his approach.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_04: And the evaluation of that, the observation of what he sucked at was really hard to get over.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_04: But we got him the right help, the right coach who helped him make the corrections, and then his performance escalated greatly.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_04: So as people learn by doing and they fail as they're doing, there becomes a moment you can teach them in the moment of the failure that allows you to have them open their mind to a different way, a different approach to teach them so that they can learn and have their own aha moment so they can course correct themselves in the future.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_02: This is my last geek out moment.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: This is called neuroplasticity, right?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's that repetition with feedback strengthens the brain's natural pathways.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's why, like, I'm surrounded by books.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: I know doesn't always translate to I'm gonna do better behavior.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_02: I wish it did.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: My family knows that well enough, too.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: Knowing about a better behavior is not enough.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: We've got to rehearse it until it becomes more automatic.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_02: And a coach helps us see that.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_04: What did Dr.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_04: Covey used to say?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_04: To know and not to do is not to know.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, exactly.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: It's a great, it's a great, great insight.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_04: Great insight.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this card, the next last card in this category I love, it's called reinforcement accountability.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it has a pattern for you.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: When you're coaching, working with someone, we we want them to repeat success, make adjustments after failure.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Sam's been talking about this, continue to grow and learn, and then admit it, this takes time.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: Ben didn't get better after one time meeting with the pitching coach or the hitting coach.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: It took a month.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: You got to focus on building new skills and strengths and keep your commitments.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: That's critical.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then the powerful questions, these are some of my favorite questions.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: I talk about these all the time.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: When you're talking to this person you're coaching, did you keep your commitments this week?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: If not, why?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: And what will you commit to this week?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'd add, you know, how can I help you, right?
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: But what the idea is weekly commitments around behaviors or actions makes all the difference in the world.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: If we hold people accountable around those commitments.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And what we find is you don't have to, you don't have to beat up on people.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, you shouldn't.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: You just say, hey, did you keep your commitments?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you didn't.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: What happened?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, what are you gonna do this week?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to really grind on them because it's embarrassing enough to admit I didn't do what I said I was gonna do.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so what are you gonna do differently this next week?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: And if you go through enough of these weeks where you where there nothing's happening, well, that's another thing entirely to be talking about.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: We find most people, though, if they have to return and report about they did or didn't do something, they don't like to do the say they didn't do it very long.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_04: If they come back if they come back multiple times and not keeping their commitment, then you got a coachability problem.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_04: You got a desire problem, right?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_04: So it's really important to talk about one of the main jobs of a coach is to help people be accountable.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_04: And we always think of the term accountability as boss's subordinate accountable, like you have to be accountable to get the action, to get the result.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_04: But that's important, but I don't think it's nearly as important as you being accountable to yourself to make and keep commitments, or you being accountable to your team that you say you do what you say and you say what you do.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_04: This kind of thing is really, really critical.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_04: And without accountability, without coaches holding their coaches or the people they coach accountable, they can't be effective coaches.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_04: Correction cannot be done without accountability.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_04: And it's the hardest job you have as a coach is how to help them be accountable to themselves first and then to others.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: And if they can't.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_02: How many times I've said that.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead, Rick.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: I was just gonna say, how many times I've had conversations with leaders where they say we have an accountability problem.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_02: And my answer back is how do you help your people hold themselves accountable?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: And they instantly recognize their policing instead of helping them hold themselves accountable.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_04: That is such a good, that is such a good policing is the word.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_04: Are you policing is it?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_04: Are you holding them accountable?
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_04: Now, here's the trick, here's a mechanics trick.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_04: The way, the easiest way to do this is in the commitment pattern.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: You make a commitment, I make a commitment.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_04: So if you're a coach and you're expecting to hold someone accountable for what they said they would do, you better bet you hold yourself accountable to do what you do.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_04: Said you would do.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_04: So you lead by example here.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_04: I said I would do this, I did this.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_04: Did you see what I did?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_04: Yes.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_04: Well, how did you do on your commitment?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_04: Now, why this is important psychologically for change and improvement is because people need quick wins.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_04: Psychologically, you need to have a quick win.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_04: Because if you have a quick win, it keeps hope alive.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_04: Because motivation it fails you.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_04: Sheer motivation will let you down.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_04: You got to have quick wins to keep the dopamine going, right?
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_04: So that you can continue the behavior.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: And if you use accountability right, it totally creates a killer culture of challenge.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: But it's not boss-to-subordinate accountability that makes the difference.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_04: It's peer-to-peer accountability.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_04: It's peer-to-peer accountability or personal accountability that makes all the difference in a creating a culture of challenge.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_04: That's the secret that most people miss.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you add motivation, which builds their perceived competence on it, which increases motivation, and it just keeps going.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_04: That's why it's really hard to have someone, you know, this a lot in weight loss journeys a lot, you know.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_04: You got to get on a scale, but in those first two weeks, you got to lose.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_04: If you don't lose like four or five pounds, you won't keep going.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: You just won't.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_04: So you got to just keep at it, have the quick wins to reinforce the accountability.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_04: And you got to have really a deep purpose or reason to accomplish the goal, right?
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_04: This is the concept of engagement we talk about in our clear performance coaching.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_04: That if you have a reason to do the goal, a compelling motivation to do it, and you keep yourself accountable, and you have quick wins and you have new behavior, all this stuff, then you'll get the change you seek.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's why, and we have right on the cars is one of the things we we have to do is recognize improvement.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Even if it's only little improvements, recognize, celebrate the improvements.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: It may not have been everything they'd hoped or you had hoped, but they directly made some improvement, right?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so important because frankly, I don't think most people get enough of that.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think most people get enough recognition for little things that they're doing well, right?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_01: I have a favorite Italian restaurant here in Knoxville that I was going to with my wife recently.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And as we were coming out of COVID and these restaurants were coming back online and being able to serve people in person, not just, you know, pick up food to take away.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_01: He put up a sign that's still there.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I took a picture of it and shared it with my kids, and I love the sign.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: He said, as you know, there's a labor shortage around the country right now.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Be nice to the people that chose to show up today.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that idea.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, they showed up, you know, not don't be complaining about, well, not everyone's here.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's some people that are here, and be nice to the ones that showed up here.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: I was just in the airport the other day flying, and I knew that the TSA employees were not getting paid because of a government thing going on.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Hey, thank you all for being here, especially because I know you're not getting paid right at the moment.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: And they're looking at me like, yeah, you're right, but okay, at least you recognize it, right?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think thanking people for the things that they're doing is something that we should be in the habit of doing and recognizing what they're doing.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: So often we said, Well, you did this and you only did this.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, you did this, right?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Then let's recognize improvement and how do we keep getting better?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_04: Right?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_04: Recognizing their contribution is really critical.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_04: The data tells us that most, you know, money, working for money, doesn't even make the top 10 list.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_04: Once you have enough to survive, it's really what you work for is more like meaning and purpose and recognition and the understanding that you matter in that organization.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_04: That's far more powerful once you make a certain amount of money.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_04: Now, if you don't have enough to pay your rent or buy groceries, that's a different scenario.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_04: But this idea of recognition goes a long way.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_04: We like to say everybody wants to be a valued member of a winning team, making a distinct contribution.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_04: It makes all the difference.
• 25:55
  unknown: Yeah.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, Gallup talks about it lots.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's one of their G12 questions, and it's highly correlated to engagement and retention, is the degree to which I'm recognized for my contribution.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_04: So as we close this podcast out with some final thoughts here, it's important to understand that anyone can be a coach because anyone can do the mechanics of coaching.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_04: You don't have to have status or position to coach someone, right?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_04: You can coach your children, right?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_04: You can coach your friends, you can coach anybody.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_04: But it you may think you know how to coach, but you may not know how to coach, right?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_04: So we've broken it down into these cards, into simple mechanics that almost anyone can do to be an effective coach so that they can produce extraordinary results.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: What I would add is, you know, a friend of mine had this pyramid, and at the top of the pyramid was policing or correcting when things go wrong, and the big portion of the pyramid is helping things go right.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: And good coaches, they know where to spend that time.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's not that they ignore correcting when things go wrong, but they're focused on continuously helping things go right.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_02: I think for me, you know, if I say anything closing, it's how to coach isn't mysterious.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: We really say this.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Kent talked about democratizing coaching.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: We want to make coaching accessible.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: You see clearly, you listen deeply, teach what matters, practice it, reinforce it, and then keep adjusting until it works, and you'll get great results.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, well said.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, this makes me think of something that I talk about sometimes, and I'll share it in the context.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: I've been married for a very long time, more than four decades.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And what I realized finally a few years ago was my wife didn't need a coach.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: My wife needed a cheerleader.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'd ask you to think about in your personal relationship, if you have a significant other or a spouse or someone where they feel like you're always kind of grinding on them and focusing on fix this, do this, that you know, they probably need a whole lot more of cheerleading from you and a lot less coaching from you.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, not because many times we're not thinking of coaching in the context we're talking about, coaching where you're trying to always improve them, tell them what they're doing wrong, you can do it better this way.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's not coaching anyway.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: That isn't coaching at all.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: So the traditional coaching, most of our significant others or spouses, they don't need that.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: They need more of what we're talking about, bringing it out of them, recognizing that things are doing well, and maybe just a little more cheering, a little more appreciation, a little more thank you for what you did when you da-da-da-da.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for so even somebody as simple as, hey, thanks for making the bed, thanks for washing the dishes, thanks for dinner.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you might say, Well, they were supposed to do that.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like that restaurant owner near me who says, Thank the people who showed up.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, they showed up, they're doing their part.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank them for doing that.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_03: Gratitude is a powerful concept, man, that makes all the difference.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_03: It is.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, thank you so much for participating in this episode of the Clear Performance Coaching podcast, where we're helping leaders become excellent coaches who create extraordinary results with their teams, right?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Next time we're going to talk about improving performance.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Hope you'll come and join with us and participate in the sixth category of the cards, improve performance, because frankly, we know everybody else wants to do that.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_04: That's awesome.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_04: You know, that's probably gonna be that's probably gonna be three podcasts, improve those eight lessons.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's probably that's gonna be a lot.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_03: We got a lot to say about that.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited about it.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: So stay tuned and enjoy.
• 29:33
  unknown: Yeah.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Have a wonderful day.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, everyone.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: Bye-bye.