Latest / Deep Thoughts / Why 92% of New Year’s Resolutions Fail
Transcript
- 0:01Every January we see this, this incredible surge of human
- 0:05ambition, but almost a physical force.
- 0:08It is the world fills with the promise of self improvement.
- 0:12Gyms are packed, their new journals waiting for insights,
- 0:15new ABS being downloaded with this this desperate hope for
- 0:18transformation. But that energy, as we all know,
- 0:20is acutely short lived. It is by February the noise just
- 0:27recedes. The world goes back to being
- 0:29quiet. And the data on this cycle is,
- 0:32well, it's sobering. We see that something like 92%
- 0:35of people who set these ambitious goals, they fail to
- 0:38follow through. And the critical point here, I
- 0:40think, is that this failure isn't because of a lack of
- 0:42desire. It's not about intelligence.
- 0:44Most people genuinely want to achieve what they set out to do.
- 0:47The problem lies in a kind of structural friction.
- 0:50It's what psychologists call the Intention Action gap.
- 0:52So let's define that the intention action gap is at its
- 0:55core a failure of translation the.
- 0:57Failure of communication. Between the planning brain and
- 1:00the acting brain, you have this detailed, wonderful intention to
- 1:03exercise or to write. But the two parts just aren't
- 1:06connecting. And that's the core conflict,
- 1:09because intention and action exist on entirely different
- 1:11planes. Intention is comfortable, it
- 1:14lives in the future. It costs you nothing in the
- 1:16present, and crucially, it lets you adopt the identity of the
- 1:19person you want to be without any of the the immediate
- 1:23discomfort. You feel like a healthy,
- 1:25disciplined person for free. While action action is
- 1:29exclusively in the present, the brutal present.
- 1:32It demands energy right now. It demands discomfort and a kind
- 1:35of relentless, unglamorous consistency.
- 1:38So intention gives you that dopamine hit of imagine change.
- 1:42And action demands the actual discipline of real
- 1:45transformation. Which explains why we feel so
- 1:47good just thinking about change, even before we've taken a single
- 1:50step. This leads us to, I think, the
- 1:51first major psychological hurdle.
- 1:53The brain's very peculiar habit of rewarding the intention as if
- 1:57it were actual progress. It's an internal trap.
- 2:00It is the moment you declare a goal, you tell your friends you
- 2:03buy the new equipment, your brain gives you a little hit of
- 2:08of completion. You've mentally solved the
- 2:10problem. We're getting the reward before
- 2:12we do the work. Precisely.
- 2:14The term for it is symbolic self completion.
- 2:18We mistake the satisfaction of defining the goal for the
- 2:21movement toward achieving it. Can you give us an example?
- 2:24Think about decluttering a garage.
- 2:26The moment you buy all the storage bins, you print out the
- 2:29labels, you feel a huge psychological lift.
- 2:33You've become the kind of person who will have an organized
- 2:36garage. And the brain gives you credit
- 2:38for it. That feeling of relief is almost
- 2:40the same neurochemical feedback you'd get from actually
- 2:43finishing the job. This helps explain a really
- 2:46provocative idea that talking too much about your goals can
- 2:49actually weaken your ability to execute.
- 2:51Them because the talk, the declaration, satisfies the brain
- 2:55prematurely. If the goal is big, discussing
- 2:58it provides this low cost continuous stream of validation.
- 3:02Why go through the difficulty of the action when the reward is
- 3:05right there in the conversation? And the planning itself can
- 3:08become a very sophisticated form of procrastination.
- 3:11We feel productive while we're making the spreadsheets or
- 3:13reading the books about the topic.
- 3:15But that activity is actually replacing the real difficult
- 3:18work. It's a displacement activity,
- 3:20and a related, maybe counterintuitive point is that
- 3:23the more detailed and perfect an intention becomes, the easier it
- 3:28can be to put off the action. The search for the perfect plan.
- 3:32It's a delay tactic. It satisfies our need for
- 3:34control while letting us avoid the messy business of actually
- 3:37starting. Which brings us to what some
- 3:40call the motivation myth. When people fail by say, mid
- 3:44February, they usually say their motivation just vanished.
- 3:48They ran out of steam. But if the problem isn't the
- 3:50lack of desire, then we have to reframe that failure.
- 3:53What if motivation doesn't disappear?
- 3:55What if comfort just expands? That's a foundational insight
- 3:58into our behavior. The brain is, at its core, a
- 4:01machine for conserving energy and avoiding uncertainty.
- 4:04So any new habit, any real challenge, registers as a fret.
- 4:08It triggers resistance automatically.
- 4:10We should expect it. The brain is just trying to be
- 4:11efficient. So we don't fail in some big
- 4:14spectacular flame out, we fail quietly.
- 4:16Clearly through a series of very rational sounding micro
- 4:20decisions. Those little thoughts, I'll
- 4:21start tomorrow. I deserve a break.
- 4:23Those aren't just excuses. They aren't signs of laziness.
- 4:27They are deeply rooted self protection mechanisms designed
- 4:30to steer us back to the path of least resistance, back to
- 4:34comfort. This leads to the ambition
- 4:35paradox, which I find fascinating.
- 4:37We assume a bigger goal has more pull, but the analysis suggests
- 4:41the opposite. Highly ambitious goals generate
- 4:43stronger internal resistance. And not because they're
- 4:46impossible. It's because the goal
- 4:48fundamentally challenges your current identity.
- 4:51Yourself image. Exactly if you intend to become
- 4:54a marathon runner, but your internal story is one of
- 4:56comfortable leisure. The goal itself creates a kind
- 4:59of identity crisis. The action required is a direct
- 5:03threat to the current you. That friction, that feeling of
- 5:06fighting yourself with every step, that must be the identity
- 5:08misalignment. It is If your goal is to be an
- 5:11early rising writer, but you see yourself as a night owl, then
- 5:14sitting at a desk at 6:00 AM feels wrong.
- 5:17It feels like you're acting like you're wearing a costume.
- 5:19So behavior change struggles when the goal conflicts with
- 5:22that self-image. The new habit just feels alien.
- 5:25And that's why people quit. When the initial motivation
- 5:28fades, the actions aren't integrated into their sense of
- 5:31self. Which means we need a dramatic
- 5:33shift in the question we ask, not what do I want to achieve.
- 5:36But who am I to coming? Because sustainable action comes
- 5:39from identity, not just ambition.
- 5:42If the action aligns with the person you believe you are, the
- 5:46friction decreases. You don't have to force yourself
- 5:48to go to the gym, you just go because that's what a healthy
- 5:52person does. But if the action contradicts
- 5:54yourself image, you have to constantly use that very limited
- 5:58resource willpower. Which brings us to strategy.
- 6:01Willpower is frankly dramatically overrated as a tool
- 6:05for long term change. It's a finite resource.
- 6:08Like a battery and relying on it alone guarantees that you will
- 6:12eventually fail, especially when life gets stressful or you get
- 6:14tired. When that battery drains the
- 6:17default settings, the old comfortable habits just take
- 6:20over again. So long term success can't be
- 6:22based on some kind of heroic inner strength.
- 6:25The alternative is intelligent design.
- 6:27Environment design. It's the silent, relentless
- 6:30force that we so often overlook. Our physical and digital
- 6:34surroundings. They dictate our behavior far
- 6:36more than we realize. If your environment is perfectly
- 6:39built to support your old habits, your new intentions
- 6:42don't stand a chance. This reframes success access
- 6:46completely. It's not about forcing yourself
- 6:48to do things, it's about engineering the situation so the
- 6:52desired action is the easiest one to take.
- 6:54The path of least resistance. Consider reading more if your
- 6:58phone is charging on your night stand and the book is on a shelf
- 7:01downstairs. The phone is going to win every
- 7:03time. The environmental queue is just
- 7:05too powerful. Intelligent design means making
- 7:08the good habit visible and easy and the bad habit invisible and
- 7:12difficult. So if you want to practice
- 7:13guitar, it shouldn't be in its this case, in the closet.
- 7:17It should be on a stand in the middle of the living room.
- 7:19Just removing that tiny bit of friction is often enough to
- 7:22bypass the brains resistance. The environment becomes the cue
- 7:26and you're just moving through the system you've built.
- 7:29It almost bypasses conscious decision making.
- 7:31Success becomes a result of that design, not just strength or
- 7:34moral character. It's a far more predictable
- 7:37system than relying on a feeling like motivation, which is
- 7:40inherently volatile. And to overcome that internal
- 7:43resistance which is always triggered by the perceived size
- 7:47of a task, the solution is, well, it's counterintuitive it's
- 7:51to think radically smaller. Momentum is the critical force,
- 7:55not intensity. The brain resists large efforts,
- 7:58but it accepts small movements motion, especially if that
- 8:01motion is so small it doesn't trigger the fear response or the
- 8:05energy conservation mechanisms. A goal to work out everyday is
- 8:09overwhelming. But a commitment to Simply put
- 8:12on my shoes and step outside? That's non threatening.
- 8:15It's almost absurdly easy to complete.
- 8:17The key is to make that first step so small that failing to do
- 8:20it feels ridiculous. If your goal is to write a book,
- 8:22don't commit to two hours. Commit to writing 200 words.
- 8:25The point isn't the 200 words themselves.
- 8:27The point is to show up, to prove to yourself through action
- 8:31that you are a person who writes every day.
- 8:32You're building the identity. And that consistency is what
- 8:36sustains the change. It turns the goal from an event
- 8:40into a routine, from something you have to do into something
- 8:43you are. And this leads to a truth that's
- 8:45often missed in our search for dramatic breakthroughs.
- 8:49Consistency fundamentally beats intensity every single time.
- 8:54Intensity burns out that willpower battery.
- 8:56We talked. About, well, consistency just
- 8:58slowly, quietly shifts your identity.
- 9:01All of this gives us the framework to see why the
- 9:04traditional New Year's resolution system is so fragile.
- 9:07It's not that people are weak. The system itself is
- 9:09structurally flawed. It relies entirely on arbitrary
- 9:12things. A symbolic date on a calendar.
- 9:15The expectation of a sudden personality upgrade at midnight.
- 9:18And a temporary volatile burst of motivation.
- 9:21It's a system that's almost designed to fail.
- 9:23And real growth just doesn't follow a calendar.
- 9:25It's iterative, it's adaptive, and it's usually very
- 9:28unglamorous. It's not an event you schedule,
- 9:30it is a system you maintain. So the better question to ask is
- 9:34not what's my resolution this year?
- 9:36But instead, what system am I willing to maintain when the
- 9:39enthusiasm is gone? Focusing on that maintainable
- 9:42system, the environment, the small actions?
- 9:45That is the difference between an intention and an action.
- 9:48As we close out this deep dive, it seems the intention action
- 9:51gap is less of a personal flaw and more of a signal.
- 9:54It pinpoints the exact border where our comfort ends and where
- 9:57real growth has to begin. And bridging that gap requires
- 10:00more than just force. It requires A heightened
- 10:02awareness of these psychological traps, a true alignment with a
- 10:05desired identity. Strategic environment design and
- 10:09a measure of self compassion for how slow and non linear this
- 10:12process truly is. So perhaps the goal isn't to
- 10:15create some grand future resolution tied to January 1st.
- 10:18Perhaps it's just a focus on making one small promise that
- 10:21you can keep. Not tomorrow, but right now.
- 10:24Action doesn't wait for a new year.
- 10:25It begins with the very next small decision.
- 10:30Thank you for tuning into this episode of the Deep Thoughts
- 10:33Podcast. I hope you found insights and
- 10:35inspiration to take with you on your journey of self growth.
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- 10:52continue to help you grow and explore your full potential.