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Domestic Violence Awareness Month · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

• 0:11
  Black rut. Y'all already know how your rookie. Y'all already know how you
• 0:28
  started rug. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?
• 0:43
  Y'all, y'all already know who it is. Y'all know what your girl ass
• 0:47
  babe. I am here, y'all. Happy Tuesday. We have made it,
• 0:55
  y'all, Happy Tuesday. I am here, I am live. I'm
• 1:00
  effect, even though I'm in a lot of pain right now, y'all.
• 1:03
  Probably my pillow is behind me. H, y'all, I've been having back
• 1:08
  pain the last few days. But anyway, but I'm here, uh,
• 1:12
  y'all, I'm all this coompopulated. Let me look, let me get everything
• 1:17
  set up. But anyway, Happy Tuesday, y'all. Welcome back to another
• 1:21
  episode of Black Girl Interrupted. Y'all already know what's your girl ash. Y'all
• 1:26
  know how I get down. Y'all know what I do. But tonight's conversation
• 1:33
  is real near and dear to me, as you can see hence the purple.
• 1:37
  This is Domestic Violence Awareness Month for those that do not know. So
• 1:42
  I thought it was. I felt it was right to come and sad down
• 1:47
  and have this conversation about domestic violence because not only does it affect women,
• 1:51
  but it affects men as well, children as well. And in these recent
• 1:57
  months, we've been seeing a lot of domestic violence cases result in the death
• 2:04
  of not only men, but women too. So y'all already know. Like
• 2:10
  I say, it's very fitting for me to jump on tonight and talk about
• 2:15
  domestic violence awareness and to let you know that if you are a victim,
• 2:19
  if you are experiencing domestic violence situation, please know that there is help,
• 2:25
  there is resources out there for you. Man. And this is very near
• 2:31
  and dear to me because I am a domestic domestic abuse, domestic violence abuse
• 2:38
  survivor. So a lot of y'all already know my story. Some of y'all
• 2:44
  don't know, but we're here to talk about that tonight. But y'all already
• 2:46
  know what I do Before I even get started. Y'all know, I have
• 2:50
  to do my mental health check in. I have to check in with y'all.
• 2:53
  I have to make sure that you guys are in a great mental space,
• 2:58
  not only physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I always have to
• 3:02
  do that because if I don't, who will man, man man, But
• 3:10
  anybody that like I said, if you are in a domestic violence situation,
• 3:14
  please know that there is help out there. Please know that there are a
• 3:17
  lot of resources that can get you out of those situations. Like I say,
• 3:23
  in recent months and weeks, we've seen a lot of people that are
• 3:27
  not able to get out of these domestic violence situations. But before we even
• 3:31
  jump into that, into tonight's conversation, I gotta do my mental health checking
• 3:38
  again. I have to make sure that everyone is good. I need to
• 3:40
  make sure that you're straight. I always have to jump on. I have
• 3:44
  to encourage you. I have to empower you. I have to uplift you.
• 3:47
  So before we even jump into tonight's conversation, y'all know, I always
• 3:53
  play something to help get you going. So before we even jump into tonight's
• 3:57
  conversation, here we go. Let's go. Life is not easy at all.
• 4:06
  There's gonna be challenges. You're gonna get beat down. That's the way
• 4:15
  life is. So sort of put a mask on your face and you go
• 4:19
  home and lay in your bed when no one's looking at you, when you
• 4:24
  don't have to impress anybody, and you're yourself, and fear comes in.
• 4:30
  Maybe you don't know for sure what's gonna be happening in the future, and
• 4:32
  it scares you just that fear paralyzes you. And I just want to ask
• 4:36
  you today, do you think you have hope? At some point, everything's
• 4:42
  gonna go south on you. Everything's gonna go south, and you're gonna say,
• 4:45
  this is it, this is how I end. Now. You can
• 4:48
  either accept that or you can get to work. That's all it is.
• 4:56
  You just begin, you do the math. You solve one problem and you
• 5:01
  solve the next one. And it doesn't matter how you get knocked down in
• 5:05
  life, because that's going to happen. All the matters that you got to
• 5:10
  get up. You have to get up. Whatever experience you're having right now,
• 5:15
  it has not come to stay, it has come to pass. Sometimes
• 5:18
  you have to just back up and go within yourself and pray and meditate and
• 5:23
  recharge your batteries, go away, clear your head, and then come back
• 5:27
  and look at it from a different battage point. Don't operate while you are
• 5:30
  under the stelle or the effect of what's going on. Don't allow your emotions
• 5:36
  to control you. We are emotional, but when you want to begin to
• 5:40
  discipline your emotion, if you don't discipline and contain your emotions. They will
• 5:45
  use you. You don't have to falce yourself or motivate yourself to think negatively,
• 5:50
  to be depressed, to beat yourself up over the head, to fill
• 5:55
  loaded with guilt. You don't have to make any effort to do that.
• 5:58
  Your mind is on auto. It will do that by itself. But if
• 6:01
  you want to begin to move into your own personal greatness, you've got to
• 6:05
  be willing to go against the tide. You've got to be willing to harness
• 6:09
  your will. I'm saying, in spite of this, I'm in control here.
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  I'm not gonna let this gift me down. I'm not gonna let this
• 6:16
  destroy me. I'm coming back. Do you ask a part, what do
• 6:21
  you want? Man? Don't want to be done? And tell me something.
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  I don't know. Everybody wants it, but the word reality of it
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  is everybody don't get it. And the crazy thing is, if you want
• 6:30
  it, you can get it. It's not like somebody you're stopping you,
• 6:33
  holding the guns yead and telling you you can't get it. It's a matter
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  of will, it's a matter of how work as a matter of sacrifice.
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  It's a matter of dedication as a matter of commitment. The difference is not
• 6:44
  the genetic code, the potential. It's a guy that's willing to get knocked
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  down finally, just on on fortune standing again, the person feance to see
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  it through, to never say die attitude. We know the battle of hand,
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  we know the journey. Your hand's gonna get taught. We know we
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  gonna face oss. We know it's gonna be some discomfort. We know they're
• 7:01
  gonna try to break up. We know they ain't coming for us. We
• 7:03
  know that's gonna happen already. So let's make up in our minds before the
• 7:08
  battle that we're gonna be victorious. Don't cry to give up, crowd to
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  keep going, don't crowd to quits. You already in pain, you already
• 7:15
  hurt. Get a reward promise at the end of paying the success. You're
• 7:20
  not gonna die because you feeling a little pain. You can tell yourself,
• 7:24
  I won't give up. When that depression hits you come out of nowhere,
• 7:27
  you tell yourself, I won't give up. There. Don't guarantee that.
• 7:30
  To tell somebody that's now down on their luck they could never come back.
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  Hoo can guarantee that you can't be that you can't have your three hoo can
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  guarantee that you can't do what you want to do. No one can do
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  that. No one can predict that. You don't know what the possibilities are
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  for your life. Because if you're willing to go through all the battle you
• 7:50
  gotta go through to get to where you want to get, who's got the
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  right to stop you? There's your right to listen to your gun. It
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  ain't nobody's rate to say no not do you earn the right to be where
• 7:59
  you want to be, do what you want to do. All we need
• 8:01
  to do is we look at our creats as we get ready to hit the
• 8:03
  fly in Thusted probly favorite. I don't care if you're sick. I don't
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  care what you're going through. If you're not dead, he ain't through with
• 8:11
  you yet. As long as you're making up, you're still in the game.
• 8:16
  As long as you are up, you can still make it happy.
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  As long as that bright in your nuts from boot who's still in the game,
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  who still can win it? Can I get your butt up? I
• 8:54
  don't know. For some reason, every time I watch these videos that I
• 8:56
  share it touches me some kind of way. Like I said it, I
• 9:01
  always try to encourage somebody, try to empower, uplift, pour into somebody,
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  because you never know what a person is going through. They may smile
• 9:11
  on the outside, but on the inside, they may be slowly dying again.
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  They may be a drink away, a bullet away, a drive away,
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  anything from ending their lives. So I always try to make sure that
• 9:26
  before every episode that I always do a mental health check in, because,
• 9:28
  like I say, not only is this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but this
• 9:33
  is breast cancer Awareness Month, and we are still celebrating mental health awareness in
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  which you guys know, I advocate for that every day, not just because
• 9:41
  it's a particular month, but I advocate domestic violence, mental health. I
• 9:48
  always try to be on the front line. But I always, like like
• 9:52
  I said, I love to start my show where I'm encouraging somebody, where
• 9:56
  I'm loving on somebody, where I'm just letting someone know that regardless of how
• 10:00
  how many times you fall down, get back up, don't stay there.
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  I know it may seem safe down at the bottom, but you look so
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  much better at the top. And I can only speak for myself. I
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  can't speak for anybody else, so just know your mental health does matter.
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  It may not matter to anybody else, but it does matter to me.
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  I would rather you call me or reach out to me than for me to
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  be standing over your casket because you opted to take your life. So this
• 10:31
  is why I do this. This is why I stand firm and stand tall
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  and everything that I do. So just know that I love you. Whatever
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  it is that you're going through, It's gonna get better, I promise you.
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  Okay. All right, So jumping into tonight's conversation again, y'all.
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  October is domestic violence Awareness month. I know this is a a very triggering
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  conversation for lots of people, me myself being a domestic violence abuse survivor.
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  Again, I feel like it was very imperative for me to have this conversation
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  because I know there are a lot of women and a lot of men that
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  are in domestic violence situations and have nowhere to turn to, have nowhere to
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  go, feel like they're lost, they're stuck, but just no, there
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  are ways to get out. Let me take a deep breath before we jump
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  into this, because I really don't want to get emotional tonight I'm gonna try.
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  Y'all know I'm a big old cry baby, but I'm gonna try.
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  I promise, I'm gonna try to hold my tears to night for y'all.
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  As we talk about domestic violence awareness soul, let's go ahead and let's jump
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  into the conversation. Here we go. In the United States, the majority
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  of women in prison have experienced physical and sexual violence. A number of those
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  women are domestic violence survivors. I was criminalized for defending my life. Those
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  in power are doing their own abuse of behavior in a different way. What
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  I didn't need was to be sent away to a prison and be forgotten about
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  by a society that failed me in the first place. Every year in the
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  United States, roughly ten million people are abused by an intimate partner. The
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  CDC defines intimate partner violence as abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship.
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  This can be a past or current relationship, and the abuse can take
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  several forms, from stalking, to emotional manipulation to physical or sexual violence of
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  person who are in need of power and control and then manifested many may different
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  ways. This is Ruth Glenn, the survivor and the CEO and President of
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  the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. She says an abuser's efforts to exert power
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  and control can range from restricting finances to isolating a person from their friends and
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  family, to threatening and inflicting violence. This doesn't happen the day you meet
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  this person. The day you meet this person, you think everything's going to
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  be okay. These controlling behaviors are often misunderstood by people who haven't experienced intimate
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  partner violence, including those in the criminal legal system. The first thing that
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  people say, well, why don't you leave? And to me, that's
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  ignorance because you know they weren't trying to inform to know that oftentimes you can't
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  leave. The person has become the sole provider. The person has messed you
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  up mentally to where you just stock. This is Leah Faria. She's a
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  survivor of domestic violence and the director of Community Liaisons Organizing at the Women's Community
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  Justice Association. She served twenty one years in prison for what she describes as
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  defending her life against a man who physically assaulted her, triggering the years of
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  abuse she had previously endured. For me, I did think a safe option
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  was to call nine one one, and you're dealing with people who are not
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  chom informed. Fara's fear of calling the police is common. The National Domestic
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  Violence Hotline found in a twenty twenty one survey that ninety two percent of victims
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  felt afraid or concerned about how law enforcement would react if called, and thirty
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  nine percent felt less safe after calling the police. One of the ways in
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  which domestic balance survivors are criminalized is through the inability and or lack of training.
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  Particularly verse responders who respond to domestic violence begins not understanding who the primary
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  aggressor is, and then before you know it, the survivor may have been
• 14:54
  the one that is charged with that domestic violence and has to go through that
• 14:58
  process. This practice is particularly common because of mandatory arrest laws, which existed
• 15:03
  more than a dozen states and require police officers to arrest one of the involved
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  parties when they respond to a domestic violence call. The first time I had
• 15:20
  to call the police the night of the incident, they just confirmed my worst
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  suspicion that I wasn't given the benefit of the doubt that I was arrested.
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  This is Tercy McCarter, a Manhattan based nurse who ended up fatally stabbing her
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  strange husband and what she says was an attempt to protect her own life after
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  years of violent abuse. I was arrested within minutes of them entering my home,
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  without them asking a lot of questions, without them finding out that that
• 15:46
  was my home, and that my estranged husband came to my home, even
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  though a neighbor was telling them that he heard me yelling get out, get
• 15:54
  out. I was the one arrested. Arresting a victim for fighting back against
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  their abuser is one of the most common ways survivors of domestic violence are criminalized.
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  Other forms of criminalization include charging victims for failure to protect their children from
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  witnessing or experiencing abuse, engaging in a legal activity under the threat of violence
• 16:17
  from their abuser, or threatening physical force against their abuser. When it comes
• 16:21
  to the criminalization of domestic violence, survivors, black and brown women are disproportionately
• 16:26
  arrested and incarcerated. Glynn says that first responders need to be better trained to
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  respond to domestic violence. Calls. Every police officer, every EMT, anyone
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  that's doing averse response should have of training what we call dB one Oh one,
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  which is the dynamics of domestic violence. McCarter argues that being able to
• 16:45
  identify domestic violence isn't the problem in my case. The police have ample evidence
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  that I was subjected to abuse. They have in my husband's own writings,
• 16:56
  his apologies to me for choking me, punching me, kicking me. I
• 17:02
  provided a video to them because I thought they just don't understand. That's all.
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  The ADA comes to court and in response to the video, she says
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  that at some point it appears that my husband may have choked me, but
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  it would have been for a brief time, and I thought, at that
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  point, it doesn't matter. They know I'm a victim of domestic violence.
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  That's not what they're interested in. The only way that I was going to
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  be a victim in their eyes if I was the one who ended up dead.
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  Survivors and advocates describe going through the criminal legal system after surviving intimate partner
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  violence as another form of abuse. I pretty much knew, like right off
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  the back, that the detectives were able to detect that I was somebody that
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  was abused, and instead of providing me with some kind of support, they
• 17:57
  pretty much harbored on that so honestly further re traumatize me. This system it
• 18:03
  doesn't have a place for us. It can't be reformed, It only needs
• 18:07
  to be destroyed. And then let's build something that's community based, that allows
• 18:11
  people freedom, that allows people to heal. From a policy perspective, there
• 18:17
  is so much more we can be doing. Yes, we've moved them a
• 18:19
  lot of good ways, but we still have gaps and resources. Those gaps
• 18:25
  and resources can look like limited availability and transitional housing for survivors, or a
• 18:30
  lack of funding for intervention and prevention programs. Still, some states, like
• 18:33
  California, have made policy strides, enacting legislation that expands legal protections for survivors
• 18:38
  who have been criminalized, But Glenn says there also needs to be a shift
• 18:42
  in culture. From a public relations and public awareness perspective, we don't do
• 18:48
  enough of just having these very public conversations about what domestic violence is and what
• 18:53
  is our part in it. Why aren't we offering to set you up in
• 18:59
  housing, safe housing away from that abusive situation. Why aren't we offering childcare
• 19:04
  to people who find themselves stuck. Why aren't we allocating money that is spent
• 19:10
  on policing to actually keeping people safe and protected in their communities prior to these
• 19:17
  interactions getting to that point. Change is a movement right. Change is created
• 19:22
  by people who have a desire to see things differently. And if we really
• 19:26
  want to get to like public safety, we really want to get to a
• 19:29
  lower recidivism rate, if we really want to get to a better society,
• 19:33
  we have to work together and we have to do it, you know,
• 19:37
  in unisony, and we just have to just do it. When it comes
• 20:03
  to domestic violence, we're not protected. Just watching that video takes me back
• 20:15
  to my very first encounter of experiencing domestic violence, and that was from my
• 20:23
  father. And then I ended up in a very similar relationship with another man
• 20:36
  that physically abused me every day for like five years, and I stayed.
• 20:45
  Javert says, oh, let me read the comments. Javera says, you
• 20:48
  don't have to hold back. Jewel hastes us all up. I'm gonna get
• 20:52
  these fingers together, baby, there you go. I got them, y'all.
• 20:56
  I got my little heart fingers together. Juel says, the system fails
• 21:00
  these women daily is heartbreaking. Jo Vert says that was deep. She says,
• 21:07
  I refused to call the police. She said, I'm grateful I got
• 21:11
  out. I didn't reach out for help, but I'm grateful when I was
• 21:15
  ready to talk about it, I had a great support team. I went
• 21:18
  through it when I was with a man at seventeen and again with a female
• 21:22
  in my early twenties. So yeah, this is real. And again I
• 21:26
  remember my Like I say, my very first encounter with domestic violence was at
• 21:30
  the hands of my father. My father beat me to the point where I
• 21:37
  ended up in the emergency room. The next day, child Services got involved.
• 21:45
  I was removed from the household. He never went and served the day
• 21:51
  in jail. And then a couple of years, maybe about a year or
• 21:56
  so later, I ended up in a relationship with a man that was physically
• 22:00
  abusive to me every day. And when I say it didn't start out physical,
• 22:04
  it started out with the with the verbal and that's considered domestic violence.
• 22:11
  I know when people say, when you hear the word domestic violence, they
• 22:15
  automatically assume it's physical. It's not always physical. It could be mental,
• 22:19
  it could be verbal abuse. That's all domestic violence. And it doesn't just
• 22:23
  happen to women. It happens to children, it happens to men. And
• 22:30
  listening to these women talk, that's why I chose that video because women are
• 22:34
  awfully often criminalized for protecting themselves. We look at Marissa Alexander who was in
• 22:41
  Florida, who was sentenced to twenty years in prison for shooting a gun in
• 22:48
  the air. She didn't shoot at her husband, she shot in the air.
• 22:55
  And this woman was sentenced to twenty years in prison for what they say,
• 23:00
  endangerment of a child and something. All these ridiculous charges And the sad
• 23:07
  part about her situation although she's out of out of prison now, but they
• 23:11
  knew and the husband admitted that he was beating her up, he was jumping
• 23:17
  on her, and she still went to prison. But that reminds me of
• 23:22
  my situation when I lived in Atlanta and I was dating a guy who was
• 23:29
  he was He was an alcoholic and it was he came home drunk and that
• 23:37
  was a trigger for me because the guy that I was with prior to even
• 23:41
  being with him, the one that I was in this domestic violence of relationship
• 23:44
  with, was a drinker, a heavy drinker, and it triggered me.
• 23:52
  So he tried to jump on me and absolutely yes, did I pull out
• 23:56
  a knife. Absolutely, Was I going to stab him? Absolutely? Because
• 24:02
  I was defending myself. I was protecting myself. But when the police came,
• 24:07
  we were both arrested. But I was charged with felony aggravated assault with
• 24:12
  a daily weapon. I was charged, but I was the victim. I
• 24:19
  was charged. He was only charged with simple assault. Well, first they
• 24:23
  charged him with a missed a felony and then they dropped his down to a
• 24:26
  misdemeanor. He served no jail in time, got no probation or anything.
• 24:30
  But I was sentenced to ten years probation and I was the victim. So
• 24:40
  what does that tell you? And when they came guns drawn, but I
• 24:48
  was charged the severest. Felony aggravated assault with a daily weapon is what I
• 24:55
  was charged with because I was protecting myself because I was not gonna allow this
• 25:02
  man to jump on me and put his hands on me. I would rather
• 25:04
  put you in a cemetery than to let you take my life. But listening
• 25:11
  to these women's speak, that's the truth. And going back to what Jewel
• 25:19
  says, the system fails these women daily. It's heartbreaking and it is because
• 25:26
  I feel like if I'm protecting my life. I'm protecting myself from my abuser.
• 25:33
  Why why am I going to jail? Yeah, we see these cases.
• 25:41
  We see these stories where then the men are not always the aggressor.
• 25:47
  We see this, we do, But just sitting and thinking back, we're
• 25:56
  seeing more cases of when women being killed at the hands of their domestic partners,
• 26:03
  husbands, boyfriends, baby daddies. We're seeing this. I just what
• 26:10
  a few weeks ago, maybe we were talking about the young lady who was
• 26:14
  pregnant, who was nineteen years old, who was killed by her boyfriend and
• 26:19
  stuffed in the trunk of a car. We see these stories every day.
• 26:25
  We hear these stories every day. We know people that are close to us,
• 26:32
  and yet we do nothing. They say, oh, you should you
• 26:38
  hear something, you see something, get involved. We've seen cases like that
• 26:42
  where people have tried to come in and de escalate situations and end up losing
• 26:48
  their lives. We've seen police officers lose their lives trying to de escalate domestic
• 26:55
  violence situations. But what can we do? Like I say, this topic
• 27:07
  is so close to home for me. It hits so close to home for
• 27:11
  me. I remember what was that? Maybe two three years ago when I
• 27:15
  shared my story and I talked about how I stayed because I thought that was
• 27:25
  love. I still have the scars. Yeah, but I became a victor
• 27:36
  and not a victim. I stopped being the victim and I became the victor.
• 27:45
  It gets a little easier for me to talk about now, and it
• 27:48
  happened twenty something years ago. But again, what I don't understand is why
• 27:56
  are there not more resources? Young ladies said in the video, there's no
• 28:06
  funds allocated for domestic violence survivors. They keep saying, oh, go to
• 28:15
  the police, follow, follow police report, follow restrain in order. That
• 28:19
  piece of paper doesn't do anything. It's almost like it enhances them. It's
• 28:26
  almost like that makes them want to come after you even more. Like the
• 28:30
  young lady in Mississippi that worked at Amazon. She had a restraining order against
• 28:36
  the ex boyfriend and he still came to the job and killed her at our
• 28:40
  job. You see this every day every day. I look at a lot
• 28:49
  of the statistics and it says black women are three times as likely as white
• 28:59
  women to be fit fatally shot by intimate partners. Black women three times And
• 29:07
  when I'm saying it doesn't happen to white women. We're not saying that at
• 29:10
  all, but statistically it says black women are three times as likely as white
• 29:18
  women to be fatally shocked by intimate partner. And we see this, We
• 29:26
  see this every day. We see this all the time. People remain silent.
• 29:37
  There's not enough resources. I keep hearing people say, oh, if
• 29:41
  you're in a domestic violence situation, you should just leave. Really, do
• 29:48
  you really think it's that easy. It's not. And in those situations,
• 30:00
  if you've never been in a domestic violence situation, please don't speak and say
• 30:06
  what I could or should have done, because a lot of people don't understand
• 30:11
  the toll that it takes on you being a domestic violence victim. It's not
• 30:18
  easy to get out and leave a lot of you know, a lot of
• 30:22
  them know where you hang out, they know your friends. Police don't protect
• 30:30
  you. You leave, guess what, they come where you are, You
• 30:33
  go right back. And then when it's children involved, Oh yeah, you
• 30:40
  can't leave. These men go and they manipulate and they say, oh,
• 30:44
  she's kidnapped their children, and guess what, you gotta go right back into
• 30:47
  your situation. Protect us, help us, get out of these situations because
• 30:56
  it's not easy. A lot of us do leave, a lot of us
• 31:00
  do get out, but a lot of them don't stay out for long because
• 31:06
  the man or the woman may find you and then they aren't alive. You
• 31:14
  even though you have a restraining order, even though you've been to court,
• 31:17
  you've done this, you've done that, And this is just not in heterosexual
• 31:23
  relationships. This happens in lesbian relationships. This happens in bisexual relationships. It
• 31:30
  doesn't matter, it happens. But when we do all of that, are
• 31:40
  we really truly protected. It's almost like you're damned if you do, your
• 31:45
  damned if you don't. Again, referring back to Marissa Alexander's situation, she
• 31:52
  was licensed to have a gun. She didn't shoot at him, she shot
• 31:55
  in there, and yes, the children were upstairs. But what was she
• 32:00
  supposed to do was she's just supposed to sit there and allow this man to
• 32:04
  pummel on her the way that he does. We see this. You look
• 32:15
  at this statistic. You have one in four women and one in nine men
• 32:21
  that experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and
• 32:28
  or intimate partner stalken. We experience this, Men go through this, women
• 32:36
  go through this, children go through this. Where's the protection? Why say
• 32:45
  protect yourself? And when we do, we go to jail, we get
• 32:51
  arrested. We see this all the time. Victims are never protected. And
• 33:01
  like the young ladies said in the video, were you really gonna constitute me
• 33:08
  as a victim when I was dead? That's what happened. I remember when
• 33:22
  people used to not be afraid to tell people, Hey, I need help?
• 33:29
  Can I come stay here for a few days. Now you don't know
• 33:34
  who you can trust. People don't talk anymore. People don't tell what goes
• 33:40
  on in their households because you know what people have this mentality or that's your
• 33:45
  problem. I don't bring that over here until you're standing over that person in
• 33:50
  a casket. Then it's oh, I should have done this, I should
• 33:52
  have done that. I should have did this, I should have did that.
• 33:58
  We're the safe space. Why are we not creating safe spaces for our
• 34:04
  friends or loved ones that are experiencing situations just like this domestic violence? Why
• 34:12
  are we not protecting each other? Why if I come to you and I
• 34:19
  say I'm in a domestic violence situation. Can you help me? Why are
• 34:23
  we not helping? I don't understand. But then you're standing over there casket,
• 34:34
  you're crying, Oh my god, I should have done your cut half.
• 34:37
  You had the opportunity. I get it, it's not your business.
• 34:40
  But where's the protection? Why are we not protecting one another? It's easier
• 34:51
  said than done. I get it, I get it. Everybody I do.
• 34:54
  But we need save spaces if I'm having a if I'm in a situation,
• 35:00
  I need to be able to I need to be able to come and
• 35:01
  talk to you and trust that you're not gonna tell the person that I'm trying
• 35:06
  to leave where I'm at. But then two, we also have to stop
• 35:13
  going back to those situations too, thinking it's gonna get better. I'm guilty,
• 35:22
  I'm guilty. Doesn't matter how much you talk to them, how much
• 35:28
  you beg they're not gonna change unless they want to change. I know firsthand.
• 35:37
  I remember the very first time he slapped me. I remember, and
• 35:46
  he would do this in front of his friends, in front of his family
• 35:52
  members, and no one did anything, and I would leave. Oh,
• 35:59
  I'm so I love you. I'm not gonna do it again. And I
• 36:01
  would go right back. Everything would be okay, maybe a week or two
• 36:08
  minutes right back. I can remember when I worked at McDonald's and he would
• 36:14
  come to my job and I thought that was love. I remember the day
• 36:23
  that he drugged me off the bus, beat me up at the bus stop,
• 36:30
  and sent me home and my hair all over my head. I'm looking
• 36:35
  like I'm beat up and I had to go home like I went home like
• 36:37
  that, spit on me. I remember having an asthma attack and he left
• 36:47
  me in the middle of the street, cussed me out. I don't know
• 36:52
  what the fuck he brought your ass out here for you anyway and did it.
• 36:54
  Yeah, I almost die, but I stayed until it got to the
• 37:06
  last straw, winning through boiling water on me. Yeah, burn my face,
• 37:15
  my neck, my arm. I still had the scar on my arm.
• 37:19
  My face healed as you could as you could see it healed. I
• 37:22
  still had the little mark right there. But I remember having to call my
• 37:30
  best friend at the time, I need you to come pick me up.
• 37:35
  I remember waking up the next day, I swoll shut, I'm blistered all
• 37:39
  here, my arm and having to go to my mother's job like that with
• 37:44
  sunglasses on I remember that and even still y'alling, and and you know this,
• 37:57
  this is my truth. I remember still going to see him in jail
• 38:05
  after he was arrested. Remember that I do. I was in love,
• 38:16
  at least I thought I was, y'all. I thought I was in love.
• 38:22
  He begged me. I didn't do it on purpose, it was an
• 38:27
  accident. I promised, I didn't do this on purpose. But he still
• 38:30
  had mine control over me. Still he was able to still manipulate me.
• 38:37
  And I went and I talked to the district attorney dropped the charges, but
• 38:40
  they told me it wasn't up to me, it was up to the district
• 38:44
  attorney because they were the one. The state had picked up the charges.
• 38:51
  They got out of jail, and I never spoke to him again. And
• 39:00
  I think that was the turning point for me. Let me not even say
• 39:02
  I think. I know that was the turning point for me. When I
• 39:07
  was on high alert, I was on guard, which led to another relationship
• 39:16
  again where I got arrested and I was charged with felt in aggravated us ault,
• 39:21
  all because I was defending myself. And this happened in Atlanta. Cob
• 39:25
  counted to be exact. Yeah, So When I see these videos and I
• 39:34
  hear the n I see these stories, it makes me sad because you keep
• 39:44
  saying do this, do that, do this, do that, but you
• 39:47
  don't give us additional resources. And there are women that have to stay in
• 39:55
  and door these situations. They have children, they can't leave. You know,
• 40:01
  the man is the breadwinner. But then the courts, you don't protect
• 40:09
  women. You don't one little bitty piece of paper that means nothing, and
• 40:22
  you have to fight to get that. You have to prove that this person.
• 40:25
  And I think that's sad that I have to go to court and I
• 40:30
  have to prove that this person is abusive to me, and I need this
• 40:35
  person to stay away from me. Even though there's been countless police reports.
• 40:40
  You see countless times that the police or law enforcement has been to the home,
• 40:45
  and you still won't grant me a protective order or restraining order. I
• 40:50
  don't understand. But the moment we take a life, whether it's a man
• 40:58
  or a woman, now you want to put me behind balls. When I
• 41:04
  asked you to help me, I ask you, I beg I need help
• 41:07
  out of this situation. Why Jul says, once we react to being abused,
• 41:22
  we become the villain for simply protecting ourselves. Juel says, we have
• 41:28
  to be our sister's keeper, back in the keeper in this day and age,
• 41:31
  because it seems black women are the most hated by our black men.
• 41:36
  I pray we get back to truly loving our loving on one another. I'm
• 41:39
  with you because we don't, Juel says. Folks don't talk because folks are
• 41:46
  always looking for something the gossip about, and therein lies one of the problems,
• 41:52
  especially in the black community. Absolutely, and that's what I mean when
• 41:55
  I say, what happened to the safe space? What happened to being able
• 42:01
  to come to you? And I'm and I'm telling you, sis, I'm
• 42:06
  in this situation. I need help to get out. Can I really trust
• 42:09
  that you're not going to tell this person I'm trying to get away from where
• 42:14
  I'm at. And we see this all the time. Family members are telling
• 42:21
  if I'm coming to you as as you know, my mom, I'm saying,
• 42:23
  Mom, I need to get out of this situation. Please don't.
• 42:27
  And your mom is going back and is telling your husband or your boyfriend or
• 42:30
  your baby daddy or whoever you're with it at the time, or she's here,
• 42:35
  she's there, They're coming to your job. Where's the protection? We've
• 42:46
  seen this. I gave you a prime example of the young lady in Mississippi
• 42:52
  who worked at Amazon who had a restrain in order and the boyfriend still came
• 42:57
  on to the premises and unlived her at her job in the parking lot.
• 43:02
  Where's the security If I've come to you and I've said, hey, this
• 43:09
  person is stalking me. This is my ex, this is ABE, this
• 43:14
  is B, this is C. Where's the protection. I was looking at
• 43:21
  a story the other day. Young lady worked at a hospital. Ex boyfriend
• 43:25
  was stalking and was in the park a lot and everything. He ended up
• 43:30
  unlive in this young lady and she had a restraining order protect the voider and
• 43:36
  everything. We see this, but there's yet to be done. Mister Linney
• 43:45
  says, I've violenced among members of the clergy. It's usually covered up in
• 43:50
  the church. Exactly. You have these pastors that are abusive to their wives,
• 44:00
  their girlfriends, or their children. We've seen this, yet there's no
• 44:06
  protection. So what can we do as a community. Like I said,
• 44:13
  I'm gonna give you always, give y'all the receipts and statistics. You have
• 44:19
  one in three women and one in four men that have experienced some form of
• 44:23
  physical violence by an intimate partner. Yes, men are domestic violence victims as
• 44:34
  well. No, they don't talk about it. Men are victims too.
• 44:42
  I go back and I look at Let me show y'all this real quick.
• 44:45
  I go back and I look at this right here. Let me see if
• 44:52
  I can make a bigger y'all. Let me see. Can I make it
• 44:54
  a little bigger? I hope so so as men and women, they say,
• 45:04
  are victims of some form of physical violence by an intimate partner within their
• 45:08
  lifetime. It says thirty four percent of people who are injured by intimate partners
• 45:14
  receive medical care for their injuries only thirty percent. Thirty four percent of people
• 45:22
  who are injured receive medical care for their injuries only thirty four percent of the
• 45:29
  people. Domestic violence accounts for fifteen percent of violent crime in the United States.
• 45:37
  Domestic violence accounts for fifteen percent. Then you look at here and it
• 45:47
  says twenty thousand calls are placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide on a typical day,
• 45:55
  twenty thousand calls five hundred percent increase the risk of homicide when a gun
• 46:06
  is present in a domestic violence situation five hundred percent. Seventy two percent of
• 46:15
  all murder suicides involving an intimate partner. I just read a story last week
• 46:21
  about this, seventy two percent of all murder suicides involving an intimate partner.
• 46:32
  And then you look at ninety four percent of the victims of these murder suicides
• 46:37
  are females. Not black, not white, not Asian, not Latin,
• 46:42
  but females ninety four percent, and women between the ages of eighteen and twenty
• 46:52
  four are most commonly abused by an intimate partner between the ages of eighteen and
• 47:01
  twenty four. Then if you go back and you look at these statistics domestic
• 47:22
  violence, let me see, can I make this a little bigger, y'all?
• 47:27
  Domestic violence related homicide is a leading cause of death for pregnant women.
• 47:36
  I just brought y'all a story a couple of weeks ago about a nineteen year
• 47:38
  old young lady that was pregnant was killed by her boyfriend and stuffed in the
• 47:45
  trunk of her car. She was pregnant nineteen years old. And then they
• 47:50
  say children are more likely to be killed by parents than strangers. Children,
• 48:00
  we see this. I brought y'all a short and I talked about these children
• 48:07
  child abuse by their parents parents. And then if you look to the right,
• 48:22
  male domestic violence is severely underreported male domestic violence. I brought y'all the
• 48:32
  stories. I brought y'all the episodes. Men are domestic violence victims also,
• 48:44
  but no one discusses this because they believe it only correlates to women. No
• 48:50
  men are domestic violence survivors also. Men just don't talk about it because they're
• 48:54
  embarrassed, because who's gonna believe that a man is being abused by a woman.
• 49:04
  And again, y'all, it does not have to be physical. It
• 49:08
  could be verbal, it could be emotional abuse. That is all under the
• 49:14
  umbrella of domestic violence. I've heard some of the I've heard some of you
• 49:20
  women, and the way you speak to your boyfriends, your husband's, your
• 49:23
  baby daddies. I hear it. Not only do we have to protect our
• 49:30
  women, but we have to protect our men too. Men are victims too.
• 49:36
  And if you don't believe me, here we go next up here tonight
• 49:44
  taking action against domestic violence. And today several local politicians and law enforcement leaders
• 49:49
  are bringing attention to a new domestic violence law. That new law went into
• 49:53
  effect October first, and it essentially speeds up the legal process to file a
• 49:59
  restraining order. Instead of sending the order by mail as in the post office,
• 50:02
  text messages are now allowed to be sent to allow victim to know exactly
• 50:07
  when the order is signed by the judge. In Florida, there were one
• 50:14
  hundred and six thousand reported domestic violence offenses in twenty twenty, and that was
• 50:22
  including more than two hundred domestic violence murders. State Senator Janet Cruz there sponsored
• 50:29
  that bill and got it passed, and she says three out of every four
• 50:31
  who are killed by their abuser are murdered when they attempt to leave the abuse
• 50:37
  of relationship. The hope is that by speeding up this process, it can
• 50:40
  save lives. And while the majority of domestic violence victims are women, tonight,
• 50:45
  we're diving deeper into cases where men are the victims. It's rare,
• 50:50
  but it does happen, and sometimes with deadly outcomes. ABC Action News reporter
• 50:54
  Michael Beluska tonight looking at two high profile cases with local connections. The knife
• 51:04
  entered Christians Chest in a downward angle to the depth of three inches. Miami,
• 51:12
  a social media influencer arrested. We are charging twenty six year old Courtney
• 51:16
  Taylor Clenny with one count of second degree murder in Christian's death. Miami Dade
• 51:25
  County State Attorney Catherine Fernandez Rundel telling the media at an August news conference,
• 51:30
  all the signs were there. This fight in an elevator with Lennie and her
• 51:34
  boyfriend, Christian of Russelli is key evidence, along with constant noise complaints about
• 51:39
  violence. It was a homicide in Saint Petersburg August nineteenth. Larry Jarrell is
• 51:45
  found inside the apartment he shared with his partner grand And Spicer, an eerily
• 51:51
  similar case where police say Jerrell was stabbed to death. The complaint showing that
• 51:54
  Spicer had a quote Google search history of do you spend life in prison if
• 51:59
  you killed someone in self defense. Our advocates often have a very tough time.
• 52:04
  That's sometimes in abuse of relationships. Sometimes it happens within a twenty four
• 52:07
  hour period that we'll get both partners in the relationship that reach out to us
• 52:13
  for help. Christine Meister is the outreach program manager at the Spring of Tampa
• 52:16
  Bay. She did not comment on these two specific cases, but spoke in
• 52:21
  general about what she's experienced when it comes to domestic violence involving men as victims.
• 52:27
  People look at men when they're the victims, and they may make the
• 52:30
  assumption that the man did something wrong and there's a reason why they were the
• 52:34
  victim of domestic violence. Is that accurate? So? I think a lot
• 52:37
  of times when men are victims, they face additional biases, and a lot
• 52:44
  of that has to do with gender norms. Men have this expectation to be
• 52:49
  tough, to be more dominant in that relationship, and so when man comes
• 52:53
  forward and says, no, this is what I'm experiencing my own relationship.
• 52:58
  I don't feel safe in this relationship. My partner is abusing me, or
• 53:02
  I have this coercive control, other people think, well, then you're you
• 53:07
  must not be a man. Data reinforces that skepticism about men as victims.
• 53:12
  According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, seventy two percent of all murder
• 53:17
  suicides involve an intimate partner. Ninety four percent of the victims of these murder
• 53:22
  suicides are female, and one in four women compared to one in nine men
• 53:28
  experience severe intimate partner physical violence. Our advocates have that very tough time of
• 53:34
  let's put gender aside and really take a look at what is happening in this
• 53:38
  relationship. Document show Spicer was arrested in November twenty twenty one for domestic violence,
• 53:45
  again just weeks before Jarrell was found dead. No contact orders were also
• 53:50
  in place. In February, court records show that Jarrell was also arrested for
• 53:53
  domestic violence and pleaded no contest. The couple had three children together, and
• 53:58
  since Spicer's are police still have more questions than answers, Spicer invoking her right
• 54:04
  to remain silent. Every act of violence in a relationship is always an act
• 54:08
  of domestic violence. Those words domestic violence should have a decidedly ugly feel to
• 54:16
  them. Back in Miami, authority say they found no evidence to clinnes claim
• 54:21
  that Ambusselli was the aggressor. There's no physical evidence. I let us still
• 54:24
  believe that she was actually physically harm it. Anyway, no matter what everyone
• 54:28
  agrees, someone should or could have done something to stop it, men are
• 54:34
  often unfortunately unwilling to come forward as victims of domestic violence. Or is of
• 54:39
  intimate violence that is sometimes called the sequence of domestic violence. Events can be
• 54:45
  broken. How do we come together as a society to fix this issue of
• 54:50
  domestic violence that keeps recurring. From one aspect, you can look at it
• 54:53
  that we need to teach what healthy relationships look like in the first place.
• 54:58
  It's about Raka zing that domestic violence is everybody's problem. In Saint Petersburg,
• 55:04
  Michael Pauluska ABC Action News And if you or someone you know is in a
• 55:09
  domestic violence situation, you can call this number on your screen right now,
• 55:14
  one eight hundred five hundred one one one nine, or you can contact contact
• 55:19
  us here at abcctionnews dot com, slash DV or on Facebook and Twitter.
• 55:29
  So, if we're looking at the statistics in the black community, fifty three
• 55:35
  point eight percent of Black women and fifty six point one percent of Black men
• 55:42
  have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetimes. Fifty three percent
• 55:52
  fifty three point eight percent of Black women and fifty six point one percent of
• 55:57
  Black men have experience psychological aggression find an intimate partner in their lifetimes. Really,
• 56:13
  mind you, we only make up what fourteen fifteen percent of the population.
• 56:22
  So fifty three point eight percent of Black women and fifty six point one
• 56:27
  percent of Black men have experienced psychological aggression. Or if you want to look
• 56:34
  at, thirty one point eight percent of Black women and sixteen point eight percent
• 56:39
  of Black men have experienced one or more of the following intimate partner violence,
• 56:45
  relation related impacts, being fearful, concern for safety, any post traumatic stress
• 56:52
  disorders. That's what we see. Injury, need for medical care, housing
• 57:04
  services, victim advocate services and or legal services, missed at least one day
• 57:09
  of work or school, and contacting a crisis hotline. Those are the statistics.
• 57:17
  If we're looking at the Black community again, we only make up with
• 57:23
  fourteen fifteen percent of the world Black people do. So we have a comment
• 57:34
  that says, Jule says, it actually happens more than we think it does,
• 57:38
  but men are afraid to talk about it because men are embarrassed, because
• 57:44
  men are never taken seriously when it comes to domestic violence situations. I remember
• 57:49
  when I did when I first started talking about domestic violence, and I introduced
• 57:54
  the conversation where we talked about men, and I spoke on Dwayne hass who
• 58:00
  was the former football player excuse me for the Washington Redskins. Well, I'm
• 58:04
  so sorry. The commanders now who is now deceased, who was attacked by
• 58:07
  his wife in a hotel room. He had his tooth knocked out. And
• 58:12
  I remember some of the comments that people were saying, and let me not
• 58:19
  say people, but women were saying in regards to this young man's situation.
• 58:24
  They said, Oh, maybe he deserved it. Oh maybe next time he'll
• 58:30
  watch what he says to you. There were women that were actually applauding what
• 58:35
  this woman did to her husband. So when I did the show, I
• 58:40
  said, and I'm gonna say this today, any person that co signs with
• 58:46
  a woman putting their hands on a man, or a man putting their hands
• 58:50
  on a woman, keep that same energy when it happens to you. That's
• 58:55
  all I'm gonna see, Because if you don't want it to happen to you,
• 59:00
  stop standing by and co signing when it happens to somebody else. Because
• 59:07
  when I say, I was absolutely disgusted by the comments that I was reading
• 59:14
  when this happened, amongst some of the other stories that I've read where I've
• 59:19
  seen men have been victims of domestic violence. And some of you black women
• 59:24
  co sign on this, y'all are replying up. Maybe he'll learn next time
• 59:30
  that's good for him, that's what he gets. Really, really, this
• 59:34
  is what you say to a person that is a victim of domestic violence.
• 59:38
  I hope you keep that same energy if it happens to you. And I'm
• 59:44
  gonna stand on that. I don't advocate for violence because I feel like no
• 59:50
  parties should put their hands on one another. Women, keep your hands to
• 59:52
  yourself. Men keep your hands to yourself. But anybody that sits by and
• 59:59
  you close sign the foolishness, keep that same energy when it comes to you.
• 1:00:06
  And I'm gonna get off my soapbox on that one. But we see
• 1:00:12
  this all the time with men more so we see this with women, but
• 1:00:15
  it happens to men. A really close friend of mine has admitted to me
• 1:00:22
  openly. He's been on in the comments of quite a few of my shows
• 1:00:28
  and has said, I'm a victim of domestic violence. My wife was abusive
• 1:00:32
  to me, and men aren't taken seriously Again, where are the safe spaces?
• 1:00:45
  Where are the resources for this? Why is it so hard to believe
• 1:00:50
  men can't be victims of domestic violence, saying we know they are. I
• 1:00:53
  have seen it first. Then I have seen how you women talk and disrespect
• 1:01:00
  men. I see this all the time. That's a form of abuse.
• 1:01:07
  I've seen it. I've heard it some of y'all that I follow on Facebook.
• 1:01:12
  I've seen the way you talk to your husbands, and I think it's
• 1:01:16
  sad. I think you need to go get some psychologically. You need a
• 1:01:21
  psychological evaluation, because there's no way in the world if you don't want to
• 1:01:25
  be talked to like that, if you don't want to be mistreated like that,
• 1:01:29
  stop doing it to other people. But again, people mimic what they
• 1:01:35
  see because you've seen your moms talk to men this week. You men have
• 1:01:40
  seen your father's talk to women this week, so you mimic this. You
• 1:01:47
  grow up thinking that this is acceptable behavior and it's not. And a lot
• 1:01:54
  of you men that abuse women have daughters, and the minute something happens to
• 1:02:01
  your daughter you ready to fight. Why you doing it today? Mother?
• 1:02:08
  So what's good for the gooths can't be good for the gander. I don't
• 1:02:14
  understand. Please make this make sense to me, because you're abusive to the
• 1:02:21
  mother, but you don't want anyone to be abusive to your daughter, then
• 1:02:24
  you need to stop being abusive to the mother, and you women, stop
• 1:02:28
  being abusive to the fathers, because this is what you're teaching your daughters.
• 1:02:32
  You're teaching your daughters that it's acceptable to talk to a man that way,
• 1:02:37
  to slap a man, No, it's not. Domestic violence is not good
• 1:02:44
  either way, in a straight relationship and a gay relationship, in polygamy,
• 1:02:49
  polyamorous, it's not acceptable. So stop co signing the foolishness because when it
• 1:02:55
  happens to you now, all of a sudden, oh, nobody wants to
• 1:02:59
  protect Why this is happening in real time? Ladies and gentlemen, this is
• 1:03:07
  happening. We're seeing this far too often. What are we going to do
• 1:03:12
  as a community to help curb when it comes to domestic violence. We need
• 1:03:19
  to start creating safe spaces. We need to start providing better resources. We
• 1:03:22
  need to start trying to help people that want to get out of these situations
• 1:03:30
  before it's too late. We need to start recognizing the signs of domestic violence.
• 1:03:40
  Do any of y'all know the signs? Do you know what to look
• 1:03:43
  for? Can you be the protector for that person. Can you be the
• 1:03:52
  escape room for that person? Can that person trust you that you're not gonna
• 1:03:55
  go and tell this person where they are when they try to leave. Think
• 1:04:01
  about these children, these babies. Can we can we somehow maybe physically get
• 1:04:10
  out of that mindset where oh that's not my business. Why I get it,
• 1:04:16
  I understand, I really truly do. We've seen cases where people have
• 1:04:21
  gotten involved to try to de escalate domestic violence situation and someone end up ends
• 1:04:27
  up losing their life. I get it. I know, I promise I
• 1:04:30
  do. But you don't have to directly start the conversation. If you hear
• 1:04:39
  them arguing next door, make a mention and say, hey, yeah,
• 1:04:44
  I heard y'all playing a video. Y'all were a little loud over there playing
• 1:04:45
  the game last night. Huh. That's almost like you're letting a person know,
• 1:04:50
  hey, I know, I know, and if you need me,
• 1:04:56
  I'm here. That's what we need to start doing. We need to be
• 1:05:02
  proactive police officers, these courts, these judges, Please stop victimized. Please
• 1:05:12
  stop revictimizing the victim, because it's almost like you make it seem as if,
• 1:05:19
  oh, you should have never protected yourself. You un alive this person,
• 1:05:24
  this person was abusive to you, but you didn't have the right to
• 1:05:29
  take this person's life. Why. We just had the case in Atlanta a
• 1:05:36
  few weeks ago that I touched on were the young lady was being brutally assaulted
• 1:05:42
  by her baby daddy. She had called the authorities three times, she ended
• 1:05:48
  up killing him, and she was send us to ten years. Why why
• 1:06:00
  is this constantly happening again? It's almost like you're damned if you do,
• 1:06:08
  You're damned if you don't. They tell you to stand on your ground,
• 1:06:12
  protect yourself. But when you do protect yourself, now you have to suffer
• 1:06:15
  the consequences. So which way does the law work? Is it for me
• 1:06:19
  or is it against me? Again, I look back at my situation.
• 1:06:30
  I was protecting myself and I was charged fell in and aggravated assault with a
• 1:06:34
  deadly weapon And the only reason they arrested him was because they said we didn't
• 1:06:45
  know who the aggressor was really. Okay, so I was sentenced to ten
• 1:06:56
  years for protecting myself. So I was supposed to allow this man to put
• 1:07:06
  his hands on me. Okay, back again, my very first experience with
• 1:07:15
  the massive violence started with my father, got into another relationship like that,
• 1:07:23
  got into another relationship like that, until I became the victor, until I
• 1:07:29
  became the abuser. Very lethal with my mouth, very verbally abusive to men.
• 1:07:39
  Bet a lot of you women won't admit that. I bet a lot
• 1:07:44
  of you men won't admit that either. But we see this all the time.
• 1:07:54
  I looked back at Let me see if I could go back and bring
• 1:07:59
  it back up. Let's see if I can. Let me see if I
• 1:08:05
  could go back to the very first time that I spoke on domestic violence.
• 1:08:12
  Let's see if I could share. Let's see if it's gonna allow me to
• 1:08:15
  share. Give me just one moment, let me see if Let's see if
• 1:08:28
  I could get back where I share my story than trying to get back because
• 1:08:42
  I don't want to show the whole video. I just want to yah to.
• 1:09:00
  Let's see if I can get to it. Y'all, Okay, here
• 1:09:12
  we go. Let me see if I could share, because I am going
• 1:09:15
  into the part where I'm asking, what are the signs? What are the
• 1:09:21
  signs? Let me see if I could share. Let me see if it's
• 1:09:26
  gonna let me let me know if y'all can see. Let me know if
• 1:09:31
  y'all can see the video. I hope hm hmm. Okay, there we
• 1:09:40
  go. I'll pull it together tonight. I promise I'm gonna pull it together
• 1:09:45
  tonight. So what are the signs? When they start to talk about how
• 1:09:51
  you dressed, that's a sign. Oh that outfre makes you look too fat.
• 1:09:59
  Oh that out it makes you look too skinny. Oh you don't look
• 1:10:02
  like Tyra Bates with that dress on. I don't know what the hell made
• 1:10:06
  you put that damn dress on. That's a sign, you know, if
• 1:10:14
  they the least little thing you'll say to them said tom off. They may
• 1:10:18
  not hit you, but if they raise their hand to hit you, that's
• 1:10:21
  a sign of abuse. That that's a sign because it's about to escalate from
• 1:10:30
  now he's gone or she has gone from being mentally and emotionally abusive to you.
• 1:10:36
  That now I'm raising my hand to you, or I'm threatening you,
• 1:10:41
  or I'm telling you you keep playing, I'm gonna kick your ass. If
• 1:10:44
  you don't do what I tell you to do, I'm gonna slap the shit
• 1:10:46
  out of you. That's the signs, you know. Listen to what they
• 1:10:53
  say. Listen to how they speak to you, listen to how they are
• 1:10:57
  when you're around, or they a littling to you. You know that that's
• 1:11:02
  a sign. You know, that's definitely a sign. You know. And
• 1:11:09
  then sometimes, you know, we see those signs and we chalked that up
• 1:11:14
  like, oh, he's not gonna do anything, or she's not gonna do
• 1:11:16
  anything. Oh he's just talking, she's just talking. No. No,
• 1:11:23
  the first time that they raised their hand to you, you need to get
• 1:11:27
  the hell on down the road, exactly, exactly. Don't wait around,
• 1:11:30
  because that's I think it escalates. He feels like he could do it one
• 1:11:34
  time and you come back, he's gonna do it the second time. So,
• 1:11:39
  sus let me ask you. And I know good, So I want
• 1:11:46
  you to tell me a story. How did you to meet? Okay,
• 1:11:54
  so I was sixteen when I met him, sixteen fifteen, sixteen. Let
• 1:12:08
  me call this, but I wanted to. I just wanted to jump into
• 1:12:12
  that little clip because those are the signs of domestic violence. You know,
• 1:12:18
  when they start to the belittling, the berating, and then you'll start to
• 1:12:25
  see them raising their hands because it goes from again, it starts verbal where
• 1:12:31
  they're cussing you out, and they're belittling you. They're telling you, oh,
• 1:12:34
  you're not this year, not that. Then it goes into they're raising
• 1:12:42
  their hands to you, which means it has escalated to now it's gonna get
• 1:12:46
  physical. Do they ever change? I don't know, because I'm not sticking
• 1:12:54
  around to find out anymore. But I wanted to just play that brief little
• 1:13:00
  but I also want y'all to know my story. So give me just one
• 1:13:05
  moment, let me kind of skip through some of this, but let me
• 1:13:14
  share. Give me just one moment, but here we go. Let me
• 1:13:17
  see if I can get it back. Let's see if I can get it
• 1:13:26
  back. And here we go. I may make sure. All right,
• 1:13:34
  here we go. He started to take a toll on me. I was
• 1:13:40
  so tighteny. Let me back up a little bit. Oh, his brother
• 1:13:45
  was like his brothers, you know at that time, they were like,
• 1:13:47
  oh, you don't put your hands on her. You know, what did
• 1:13:50
  she do? And you know they stopped it. You know, I cried,
• 1:13:55
  I left, He apologized, I love you, I'm sorry. You
• 1:13:58
  know, I was drunk, you know, blah blah blah. So I
• 1:14:00
  forgave it. I went back. So I want to show you something.
• 1:14:10
  I really want to show you something. So the abuse continued. That's me,
• 1:14:21
  that's me. Let me, let me remove it. So you guys,
• 1:14:26
  because see that's me. I was nineteen years old. I was about
• 1:14:31
  ninety seven pounds. That's how much the abuse started to take a toll on
• 1:14:38
  me. I was full, tiny, but I love this man. But
• 1:14:45
  that's me. That's me. So the abuse became so overwhelm that you became
• 1:14:54
  stressed, to the point where you lost a lot of weight. Right.
• 1:15:00
  I couldn't eat. It was like, I'm trying to really find a word,
• 1:15:13
  and what's the word. I became an introvert, I guess. So
• 1:15:19
  to say at that dick that I took that picture that night, he would
• 1:15:27
  my ass. Okay, So another thing, another siding with you. Uh
• 1:15:33
  did any any point he tried to isolate you from your family? Oh?
• 1:15:40
  Yeah, my friends. I used to work at McDonald's and he would come
• 1:15:47
  to my job and he would sit at my job. I would say things
• 1:15:54
  like if I saw a guy, and I would be like, oh I
• 1:15:58
  like his shirt, go with that, nigga in go be with him then,
• 1:16:02
  And all I said was I liked the shirt, So I got to
• 1:16:06
  a point where when we would go places, I would just stink quiet.
• 1:16:11
  I would just kind of sit there, what's wrong with you? Ask?
• 1:16:15
  Oh, nothing, because I didn't want to do anything to provoke him.
• 1:16:21
  So yeah, absolutely that night, looking at if I go back and I
• 1:16:25
  look at that picture, syst he would my ask that night, he sure
• 1:16:31
  did I remember that day. And I think a lot of men do that
• 1:16:38
  because they want to fill Mmm. Who going back and watching rewatching that episode
• 1:16:51
  that was from two years ago, and I'm just like, it doesn't sting
• 1:16:58
  as much as it used to as as I as I go back in and
• 1:17:01
  I listen to the story, as you know, I relive that moment or
• 1:17:05
  those particular moments in time, just it gets easier for me to tell the
• 1:17:17
  story. It gets easier for me to share because that is a part of
• 1:17:23
  my life that is over. You know, I was finally able to break
• 1:17:29
  away from that relationship. I had three beautiful children. I ended up in
• 1:17:38
  another relationship with another person that was just wasn't worth two nickels. But I
• 1:17:45
  finally broke away from that, and now I really feel like I'm in the
• 1:17:49
  happiest space ever in my life. You know, as I, like I
• 1:17:55
  said, as I go back and I look at as I share my story
• 1:18:00
  about being a domestic violence survivor, a domestic violence survivor, it gets easier
• 1:18:09
  for me to talk about again. It doesn't sting as much as it used
• 1:18:14
  to. And I share my story to be a to be an advocate for
• 1:18:19
  someone, to be a voice for someone that's afraid to speak, for someone
• 1:18:24
  that's afraid to share their story, because domestic violence is real, you know,
• 1:18:31
  Like I say, I remember him leaving me in the middle of the
• 1:18:34
  street. I had asthma, tech almost died, and I just remember him
• 1:18:39
  cussing me out and going to the hospital. He's there at the hospital with
• 1:18:45
  me. I remember that, and I tell that story because I want someone
• 1:18:50
  to know that I made it. A lot of women, a lot of
• 1:18:56
  men don't make it out of these relationships. They don't. But I made
• 1:19:00
  it. I survived, and I don't hold onto the remnants of that relationship,
• 1:19:08
  if that makes sense to you. I became a victor and no longer
• 1:19:13
  a victim because being a victim kept me in the dark for so long.
• 1:19:20
  And if I hadn't have relinquished that, this man still would have had power
• 1:19:25
  over me twenty years later. But a part of that, a part of
• 1:19:28
  me held on too that for the longest, until finally I was able to
• 1:19:31
  be free, until I was finally able to relinquish the power back to myself,
• 1:19:36
  because I could no longer allow this man have to have control over me,
• 1:19:40
  because yeah, you may have, you may have physically taken me down,
• 1:19:44
  but mentally, I can't allow you to have that anymore. So when
• 1:19:47
  I when I tell my story, when I share, it doesn't hurt anymore.
• 1:19:53
  And I could say that wholeheartedly, and and and my eyes water and
• 1:19:58
  a tear because I made it. There are a lot of women that didn't
• 1:20:02
  make it. There are a lot of women that are still sitting in these
• 1:20:05
  domestic violence situations that don't know what to do. So I pray for them.
• 1:20:13
  I pray that they're able to get out of those situations. I pray
• 1:20:15
  for their children, because the children are subjected to these types of situations,
• 1:20:20
  and that's unfair to them. I say that to say I could no longer
• 1:20:31
  allow those men to have power over me. I forgave them a long time
• 1:20:38
  ago, even after the scars healed. I didn't forgive them for me,
• 1:20:44
  for them. I forgave them for me because I had to get my power
• 1:20:47
  back, because I had allowed these men to take me down and I was
• 1:20:54
  at my lowest. So here we go, as I continue the rest of
• 1:21:02
  my story, and look, here we go, it would have made me
• 1:21:31
  the woman I am say, there we go. I really don't. It
• 1:21:40
  was hard. It's hard for me to look at that picture today and to
• 1:21:45
  know and to think like any moment that he laid his hands on you,
• 1:21:57
  it could have been your legs. So the first time, women, you
• 1:22:01
  please meet, because it may not be a next time. You may not
• 1:22:06
  get a chance to walk out the situation. You may not get a chance
• 1:22:12
  to tell someone you know, So let me ask you when right right?
• 1:22:26
  And I think men are the men of the women who have friends who are
• 1:22:30
  abusive no matter what he is, or men who are abusive. I think
• 1:22:34
  the new friends around now who will call them out on that absolutely, and
• 1:22:41
  and and that, and that goes back to you know, yeah, you
• 1:22:44
  were ten or eleven years old since when it happened, So you were young,
• 1:22:50
  so you you didn't know what to do, you know what I'm saying.
• 1:22:56
  So it was like you were helpless in that situation. But there were
• 1:23:00
  people, you know, in my situation, people stood around and they watched
• 1:23:03
  him do this. They watched him do this. You know what I'm saying,
• 1:23:10
  hold on, we got one more. Ay, You're absolutely right.
• 1:23:18
  Artists protect our Black kings at all cost. Absolutely and and you know,
• 1:23:25
  and in this and age, we're not protected. You know what I'm saying.
• 1:23:30
  We're so disrespected. You know, Black women, we are so disrespected.
• 1:23:35
  And you know, as we go on, you know, as I
• 1:23:39
  continue to you know, you know, go on my journey and share my
• 1:23:43
  stories, I definitely want to, you know, uplift each and every black
• 1:23:47
  women. You know, I may can't uplift everybody, but I'm gonna do
• 1:23:51
  the best that I can do because I want you to understand that you are
• 1:23:56
  worthy. You know that you are a pred you know. Me, during
• 1:24:01
  that time, I didn't feel work, you know, I was depressed,
• 1:24:06
  you know our you know, and looking back at it, it was a
• 1:24:14
  lesson I really don't want to say a lesson learned. But now I don't
• 1:24:19
  what to look for. Yeah, so at that point, you know,
• 1:24:24
  not to be in a relationship with somebody who would do that to you.
• 1:24:29
  And that's by saying being around people who I seen go through that, it
• 1:24:33
  taught me a lesson. It taught me, Okay, when you start doing
• 1:24:36
  that, then you you've seen that before, don't You don't want to take
• 1:24:41
  that ship. But it's easily said and done. Some women just me.
• 1:24:44
  Some women are uh. Some women don't know where to go. You know
• 1:24:49
  who they can talk to because at this point, he didn't isolated to from
• 1:24:53
  all your family. You know, yo. They feel like you can't come
• 1:24:59
  back because I told you so with all support. But it's like, it's
• 1:25:13
  so, you know, and I tell people it's easier said than done.
• 1:25:17
  It's easy to tell somebody to leave. But when this person has made you
• 1:25:25
  feel this big, you're scared of God because they made you feel like nobody's
• 1:25:32
  ever gonna want you. Nobody, you know, anybody gonna love your life?
• 1:25:36
  Me ain't nobody gonna want you? Look at how you look. I
• 1:25:41
  remember a time because I'm an asthmatic. I remember a time I had an
• 1:25:45
  asthma taken. He left me in the streets. I remember another time I
• 1:25:57
  was going home to go see my mom. I was getting on the bus
• 1:26:01
  and he beat me up at the bus stop, tore my shirt. He
• 1:26:06
  spit on me. I get on the bus right, But that wasn't enough
• 1:26:14
  to make me leave. Was it just that you were scared or it was
• 1:26:20
  just more of you your heart was in a relationship. Okay, you know
• 1:26:27
  I love it just that much. Tuesday, it was a mix of all
• 1:26:32
  three. And even if you go back to my first episode and I talked
• 1:26:41
  about I had never seen what it was like for a man to love a
• 1:26:45
  woman, So I didn't know. I didn't grow up in a situation where
• 1:26:53
  my father was healthy to my mother, you know, or ever see my
• 1:26:57
  mom in a healthy relationship. My mom was in one unhealthy relate was in
• 1:27:01
  I really wouldn't call it healthy because my mom dated this man for like two
• 1:27:05
  years and then come to find out he was married. But he was good
• 1:27:10
  to me and my sister, like he was a father figure, you know
• 1:27:13
  what I'm saying. So it was it says, please encourage our young ladies
• 1:27:20
  to value themselves. Mmm. I smile because I look at how far I've
• 1:27:36
  come. That was two years ago. When I shared my story. My
• 1:27:44
  sister says, I'm so sorry you had to experience that, since you're a
• 1:27:47
  survivor. Absolutely, I stopped allowing that situation to find who I was as
• 1:27:55
  a person and as a woman, and by being able to share and get
• 1:28:02
  that out was the best thing that I could have ever done because it opened
• 1:28:09
  the door for other women to reach out to me to share their stories.
• 1:28:13
  So this is why I do what I do. This is why I bring
• 1:28:16
  these types of conversations to Black Girl Interrupted, because these are my stories,
• 1:28:21
  these are my situations, and I want women and I want men to know,
• 1:28:28
  especially men and women of color, You're not alone in these situations.
• 1:28:31
  You're not the only person that has encountered this. You're not the only person
• 1:28:34
  that has gone through this. This is why I do what I do.
• 1:28:40
  And being able to look back at that episode and listen, wow, Wow,
• 1:28:51
  I've overcome a lot. I'm a survivor, I'm a winner. And
• 1:29:00
  I think that's the most beautiful thing about Black Girl Interrupted is that I want
• 1:29:04
  black men and I want black women to know that you're special. I want
• 1:29:11
  you to know that you're worthy. I want you to know that you're loved
• 1:29:15
  in that no matter how many obstacles you encounter, you're always going to be
• 1:29:23
  a winner. That's why I do what I do. That's why I was
• 1:29:28
  imperative to bring you tonight's episode, because even though October is Domestic Violence Awareness
• 1:29:35
  Month, we need to address this issue every day because it doesn't just happen
• 1:29:42
  in October. Again. We see these domestic violence situations every day on the
• 1:29:46
  news, every time you turn on the TV. I just saw a story
• 1:29:54
  a couple of weeks ago, young lady, a law student in California,
• 1:29:57
  who was unalive by her boyfriend fiance. I'm so sorry he was her fiance
• 1:30:02
  cut up a body. But then I look at the women and the men
• 1:30:19
  that are stuck in these situations, don't know where to go, don't know
• 1:30:25
  where to turn, especially men, because men aren't believed when they say,
• 1:30:30
  oh, you're domestic violence victim. Oh men can't be victim yet they can.
• 1:30:38
  I've given you the resources. I've given you the receipts. I've given
• 1:30:41
  you the statistics when it comes to domestic violence. You look at right here.
• 1:30:55
  Let me see, can I move this out of the way. It
• 1:30:57
  says ten million adults experience domestic violence annually in the US, ten million adults
• 1:31:04
  a year. Let me see, can I move this out of the way.
• 1:31:09
  Let me try to make this a little bigger, but you look at
• 1:31:15
  what domestic violence entels. Domestic violence and an intimate relationship can include willful intimidation
• 1:31:26
  and or threats, physical and or sexual assault and battery, Emotional and or
• 1:31:34
  psychological abuse. Domestic violence and intimate relationship can include criminal harassment. It can
• 1:31:43
  include an economic abuse example, power over finances to control. We see this,
• 1:31:50
  and then it also includes a repetitive pattern of controlling dominance. Domestic abuse
• 1:32:01
  victims by gender twenty four percent men, seventy six percent women. One in
• 1:32:15
  five women have experienced domestic sexual violence in their lifetime. Examples could be rape,
• 1:32:21
  repercussions for refusing sexual advances, et cetera. Forty eight percent of victims
• 1:32:31
  experience psychological abuse at least one psychologically aggressive behavior by an intimate partner, and
• 1:32:42
  that's men and women forty eight percent of victims. And domestic violence affects all
• 1:32:55
  communities, regardless of your age, your gender, your socio economic status,
• 1:33:00
  your sexual orientation, race, religion, or nationality. It doesn't have It
• 1:33:04
  doesn't have a race, agender, creed, none of that on their domestic
• 1:33:09
  violence. But if we go back to the statistic that I've posted for you,
• 1:33:16
  guys, black women are three times as likely as white women. Black
• 1:33:27
  women three times to be fatally shot by intimate partner Black women. Huh.
• 1:33:46
  We see this all the time, y'all. We see this. You guys
• 1:33:58
  ask what can you do? This is how you can get help for domestic
• 1:34:04
  violence. Hi, everyone, Georg Stephan Opples, Sir, thanks for checking
• 1:35:54
  out the ABC News YouTube channel. If you'd like to get more video show
• 1:35:58
  highlights and watch live event coverage, click on the right over here to subscribe
• 1:36:01
  to our channel, and don't forget to download the ABC News app for breaking
• 1:36:04
  news alerts. Thanks for watching. All right, So, for anyone that
• 1:36:12
  is in a domestic violence situation, here's the phone number for the National Domestic
• 1:36:17
  Violence Hotline. I'll leave it up for a moment just so you guys can
• 1:36:21
  take note of the phone number. But if you are experiencing any type of
• 1:36:27
  domestic violence, please please please cause this call one eight hundred seven nine to
• 1:36:31
  nine seven two three three. That is the National Domestic Violence Hotline. That
• 1:36:36
  is a anonymous phone line hotline. I'm so sorry. That will help you
• 1:36:43
  to create a plan and escape plan safely. Please make sure that you have
• 1:36:48
  someone you love and can trust as you plan your escape route out of this
• 1:36:56
  situation. I'll leave that number up for a few more more as we go
• 1:37:00
  ahead and bring an episode to it. As we bring tonight's show to a
• 1:37:04
  close. Again, the phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline is one
• 1:37:13
  eight hundred seven ninety nine seven two three three. Oh. Tonight wasn't so
• 1:37:24
  bad for me. I did tear up a little bit. But let me
• 1:37:30
  roll into my final thoughts. When it comes to domestic violence, men and
• 1:37:42
  women are both victims of domestic violence, not just women. When you speak
• 1:37:47
  about domestic violence, please don't always constitute it as physical, because it could
• 1:37:51
  always start out verbal and emotional, and that's just abuse within itself. We
• 1:38:00
  have to start recognizing the science, and we have to start recognizing what's healthy
• 1:38:03
  in relationships and what's not. One thing I want men and women to know
• 1:38:09
  is stop trying to love the red flags out of people. Recognize who they
• 1:38:14
  are from the beginning. Stop sticking around trying to change them thinking that they're
• 1:38:18
  going to change they're not. Only thing they do is they switch victims.
• 1:38:28
  If you are experiencing a domestic violence situation, please reach out to me.
• 1:38:31
  Please. I want to help you get out of your situation. One thing
• 1:38:38
  about me, any conversation that we have, I don't share with anyone male
• 1:38:44
  female. I pray that whatever situation or circumstances you're in, you're able to
• 1:38:49
  make it out alive, because I do not want to see you on TV.
• 1:38:56
  I know it's easier said than done. I know it's easy to say
• 1:38:59
  only leave, but it's hard to go because in these relationships, these men
• 1:39:05
  or these women have made you feel unworthy. They've made you feel as if
• 1:39:09
  no one else is gonna want you but them. They've completely destroyed your self
• 1:39:14
  esteem. They've completely destroyed who you are as a person. But just know
• 1:39:20
  that in time, all wounds do heal. I'm a living witness. Even
• 1:39:30
  though I carry that scar with me every day, I never I've stopped allowing
• 1:39:34
  that to define who I am. I'm worthy to give and receive love.
• 1:39:44
  I'm a beautiful woman, and I want you men and I want you women
• 1:39:48
  to know that you are valuable, You are worthy, you are beautiful.
• 1:39:54
  Don't let anyone tell you differently. Yes, domestic violence happens every day,
• 1:40:03
  but we as a people, we have to step in and we have to
• 1:40:09
  help. We have to be safe spaces for other people that are experienced,
• 1:40:15
  that are in these situations right now. If someone comes to you and tells
• 1:40:21
  you please hold that tight to your to your house, to your to your
• 1:40:26
  heart, I'm so sorry to your heart. If that person that they're trying
• 1:40:30
  to get away from ash, please don't tell them where they are. But
• 1:40:39
  I also say to the world, please, please, please, please,
• 1:40:42
  please provide protection for domestic abuse survivors, men and women, Because again I
• 1:40:51
  can go right back here, fifty three point eight percent of black women and
• 1:40:56
  fifty six point one percent of black men have experienced psychologic full aggression buy an
• 1:41:01
  intimate partner. You have one in seven women and one in twenty five men
• 1:41:08
  that have been injured by an intimate partner. These are real facts. One
• 1:41:17
  in three women and one in four men have experienced some form of physical violence
• 1:41:21
  by an intimate partner, whether it's a slap, whether it's they've thrown something
• 1:41:27
  at a loved one. Men have experiences just like women. But I say
• 1:41:32
  this to my fellows, if you are in a domestic violence relationship, please
• 1:41:36
  don't be afraid. Please don't be afraid to talk about it. Please don't
• 1:41:42
  be embarrassed to tell your story. I pray that whoever is sitting in a
• 1:41:47
  situation like this, I pray you're able to make it out. I pray
• 1:41:53
  that you find the resources that are available for you to get out of your
• 1:41:58
  situation. Again, don't forget, one in four women and one in nine
• 1:42:10
  men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and
• 1:42:16
  or intimate partners talking. We see this. We have to do better,
• 1:42:24
  America. We have to do better protecting now we're victims instead of victim blaming.
• 1:42:31
  Regardless of what you say or what you've done to a person, doesn't
• 1:42:36
  equate to a person putting their hands on you. If it happens once,
• 1:42:43
  it'll happen again. They don't change, they just change victims. And I'm
• 1:42:50
  gonna end with that. Just know that I love you, I'm praying for
• 1:42:57
  you, and I pray that you make it out of your situation alive.
• 1:43:08
  All right, So for tomorrow night's episode, again, I will be talking
• 1:43:13
  about police brutality. That was actually supposed to be the topic for tonight,
• 1:43:16
  but I forgot I had switched the dates, So y'all forgive me on that.
• 1:43:20
  But tomorrow night I will be talking about police brutality. I will again
• 1:43:26
  be bringing y'all the story on Stephen Klay Perkins again, the young man that
• 1:43:30
  was killed by the police Indicatur, Alabama. I will also be bringing y'all
• 1:43:33
  the story on Johnny Holeman, who was a sixty two year old deacon who
• 1:43:38
  was killed by an Atlanta police officer. So that is tomorrow night's conversation.
• 1:43:44
  We're gonna be talking again about police brutality. Just keep happening. What can
• 1:43:48
  we do America? But that's tomorrow night's conversation. We're not gonna even get
• 1:43:54
  into that tonight. But I do want to say thank y'all so much for
• 1:43:57
  joining me on another episode up for two tuning in. I'm so sorry for
• 1:44:00
  tuning in to another episode of Black Girl Interrupted. You already know what your
• 1:44:04
  girl, Ashley. I'm always bringing y'all some of the most beautiful yet intimate
• 1:44:09
  conversations. Uh. Yes, they could be a little triggering, but they're
• 1:44:13
  much needed topics, much needed conversations that we need to have in order to
• 1:44:17
  heal and bring some type of love back into the black community. So on
• 1:44:24
  that note, I do want to say I love you guys. God bless
• 1:44:27
  you again, Happy Tuesday. I hope each and every person enjoys the rest
• 1:44:30
  of their night Again Tomorrow eight thirty pm Central Time, nine thirty Eastern Time.
• 1:44:35
  Again. You can catch me streaming live on Facebook as well as YouTube.
• 1:44:40
  You can always go back and check out the past episodes on YouTube,
• 1:44:45
  Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart ds, or wherever you listen to your podcast.
• 1:44:49
  Just type in black Girl Interrupted and you can always catch up on all
• 1:44:53
  past episodes. So on that note, I just want to say I love
• 1:44:57
  you guys again, Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode Black
• 1:45:00
  Girl Interrupted the podcast, and I will see you guys tomorrow night, same
• 1:45:03
  time, same Please love you bye.