Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Pursuit of Pure Intention 8.5.25

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- The Pursuit of Pure Intention 8.5.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  That very shoot and move on Tawra.
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  Thank you. So the closing of very shoot was
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  that a person should make sure to realize that as strong as
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  this topic is and an important it is for a person that we said
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  to remain independent minded and that means to keep away from
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  seeing what everyone else does. That's automatically going to
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  attract us to want to be like them and to adopt a certain
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  mindset of his boy to do it, which means, you know, take a
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  walk on your own or to think on your own to be able to develop
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  your own independent way of approaching life, which is very
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  important. He says this person's got to be
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  very careful not to jump too many steps in that area because
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  that can lead to obviously extremes and that's not the
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  goal. The goal is to develop
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  themselves and bring out the best version of themselves, not
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  to become something else. And when you overdo pretty
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  shoot, non healthy way, we want many people like that.
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  Sadly, it usually backfires. And usually, honestly speaking,
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  it's not coming from a good place.
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  It's usually coming from some other issue that they translated
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  into religion. And it's not really religious.
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  It's something else, a pretty shoot design.
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  That's very important to me DA where a person has to abstain
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  one way or another to develop the levels of control when it
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  comes to trying to do what everyone else does and trying to
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  indulge fully. Have some level of control and
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  you become a much stronger, more independent minded, much
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  healthier person if you do pretty shoot the right way.
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  Next we don't want to look at is three O 7 is taura MI BB or MI
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  dot taura. Now the word itself, Taura is
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  Puri. If you think in your mind this
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  sounds like the most high level of concept for a person try to
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  adopt purity. What does that mean?
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  I mean, I'm going to make very day out of a clear pure mind,
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  very hard to attain what it means.
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  Actually it's something that's extremely practical and the
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  modern day maybe more than ever. What I mean, there's so many
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  people doing good things out there, right?
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  How many people do, how many people attain go to fundraisers,
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  how many people are involved in building institutions and
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  schools and schools and all these things help out other
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  families. There's so many people doing
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  good out there. All right?
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  We're all trying to raise our families.
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  That's a good thing. We're trying to support our
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  families, all right, All those areas, every single good thing
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  that a person can do has a blend.
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  It's a very important blend. You have to figure out the the
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  right mix of this blend and that blend.
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  Is he trying to do a good thing? But there's also automatically
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  certain, naturally a level of certain motives inside, right?
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  Any guy who's running a shul, he wants to do good, but he has
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  some degree of motives. Maybe trying to build a good
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  tool for his family, that's a good motive.
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  Maybe he's trying to get a big name, not the greatest motive.
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  Maybe he's trying to get his own opinion and build it into an
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  institution. Also a debatable motive, right?
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  And he got involved in the school.
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  We see the school business. We know it's all over the place.
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  Any person involved in the school, on one hand, he's trying
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  to, you know, take care of the future of our children.
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  Unbelievable. At the same time, there are a
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  lot of politics involved. Very complicated, right?
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  Also, maybe he has a certain opinion of how a school should
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  run and he wants to therefore get involved for that reason.
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  But is there? Anything that's truly selfless,
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  OK. It's very odd.
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  And there's actually. Everything, I think everything
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  has some type. Of it's a very hard motive, yes,
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  it's very hard to imagine. It's not coming from an evil
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  place. I think some of some of the
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  things you mentioned just now are better than others, right?
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  But I don't think any of those are bad.
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  No, nothing. It's evil.
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  Even a guy who as we really aren't even a guy who who wants
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  to have his name all known. He's devil.
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  Very generous. I still give like an
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  unbelievable amount of credit because he could have made that
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  name a different one would have bought with that money. 100%.
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  No way to disparage a person at all.
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  And even the people with the names, they're not really doing
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  it for the names. 3 of this, they could be the names of their
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  parents, which is a beautiful thing.
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  I was all tired. If I had the money, I'd put my
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  name on certain things. My father's name on something,
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  forget it. It's a humongous thing.
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  It could be for their children to see, which is an unbelievable
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  thing. There's a lot of great things
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  out there, right? So it to say the name is not a
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  simple thing either, but the idea is are there ceremonies
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  that are bad? There are when people try to
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  wait, you can tell that it really sometimes I look at I
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  look at situations in the community and I say myself find
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  me Hashem in that mix. I can't find Hashem in that
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  picture. It doesn't seem to be right like
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  Hashem would not want any part in this.
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  So when something gets extremely political or something gets
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  heated or someone, let's say you see that it's got nothing to do
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  with the 'cause right? This is when he gets.
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  Travel like I'll do another guy's right, right?
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  That's when it gets complicated. Maybe even that may not be so
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  bad, but the idea is the concept of Taota is in that blend of
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  doing good. We have to find that is a strong
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  and blend is going to include some good and some not so good
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  or some good and some ulterior motive.
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  We have to make sure that the blend is a good mix.
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  It doesn't mean we're trying to be fully pure.
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  We wish anyone we know can have fully pure motives.
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  Pretty much. It's hard to say anyone has
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  completely pure motives. And I'm talking about a cross
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  suspection. It's very hard, right?
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  Even let's not leave our institutions, even families.
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  We want to raising our own families.
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  Of course, we say we raise our children because we want our
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  children to be good people. We want to have a future to our
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  people. We want to have our own name
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  continue all that shoop. There definitely is a part of
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  us, at least me, I could say for myself, a part of us that has
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  personal pride to our children, right?
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  You think of you imagine the the caricature of the Sakamar,
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  right, who goes crazy when her son is not getting, you know, on
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  the team or the the the Little League parent who goes nuts on
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  the side of the somebody dugout yelling and screaming because
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  their child didn't get off the bat, right?
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  And you think those people are crazy?
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  That is in mind, huh? That's what it is.
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  What it is really is is that we have a feeling of our own
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  personal pride of ourselves playing or winning, of our
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  children winning. And it really gets involved.
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  That mindset is seems ridiculous on the football field.
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  It's really our reality. And when someone insults our
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  child and we get furious, of course it's because we want to
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  protect him. But it's also this blend.
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  There's the good we want to raise our children to develop
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  them into all their confidence. We don't want them to get hurt.
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  But at the same time, there's a little bit of the not so good
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  there. There's our personal pride is in
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  our personal feelings. How can so and so's son messing
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  my son? There's all that, right?
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  That's the town I was trying to get to, which is to weed that
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  out and to make our blend A healthier blend.
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  Am I making sense, Joe? It's pretty relevant in all
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  institutions and all families. I think this is very common.
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  I always told my wife start spending money on on little kids
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  clothing. It's always bothering me.
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  I said why do people spend? I was thinking about this the
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  first time I went for shoes. Huh exactly I was a rich kid
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  Exactly but why do people spend $100?
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  That was the number for big little kids shoes.
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  My daughter's first shoes and 1st I went to the store with
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  fitting their shoes $100 I think everything myself at that time
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  it was more expensive for my daughter's shoes and mine.
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  She was a year and change old and I was 25 years old.
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  Her shoes cost more than mine and not just her shoes.
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  We spend more money on my kids clothing.
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  We definitely put more attention to my kids clothing then we do
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  my own clothing. All right I said my friend, I
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  both of us, I said, why is it the case?
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  That's me on my phone. All right, we know I'm I'm a
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  bear tracker of my phones as the reason is you see, I you know,
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  they don't bring that ravine. The reason is because the
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  children looking good as a pride to their parents.
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  You ever see 3-4 kids, young kids walking together and
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  they're all dressed with the same outfit or they all look the
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  same? Hey, look up.
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  Who's who are they making? No, who's feeling good from
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  that? It's not the kids.
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  They'd kill us. They want to eat their food and
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  get the stain on their clothes. They don't care.
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  Honestly speaking, it's the mother.
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  Is that something to blame? Do you blame her?
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  You think she's crazy? No, she's normal, absolutely
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  normal, but that is parents pride.
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  How you can say fuck is down to the children.
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  It makes the kids look good. It makes the kids clean.
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  Well, that's true but the reality is it's the parent.
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  So that is again a blend, not a bad thing, but it's a blend of
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  this concept. We're raising our children,
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  we're building our children. We also have a personal motive.
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  Let's tell it out. Let's see it inside but.
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  Is is there a small issue with something like that meaning
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  where like sometimes I remember when I used to go to shul, they
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  used to be this family of four and five year old kids.
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  He always think that for me from.
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  Yeah, we're heroes. That was their version of pride,
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  family pride, let's say. Is it so?
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  Is it focusing on all that mysterial stuff?
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  End up not in a good place somewhere down the line?
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  So you're talking about even a non material, they're talking
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  about a good thing. Yeah.
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  So I'll tell you the honest truth and don't tell there's any
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  parent, parent who has, you know, wonderful, perfect acting
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  children, OK? A lot of those things that
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  happen as little kids do not really, in my opinion, don't
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  really translate to adulthood facts so well.
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  All right, I'm saying there are a lot of kids that are
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  beautifully well, very well disciplined and act perfectly in
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  shul and all those things. Maybe I'm saying this because my
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  kids are wild and shul it could be, but.
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  Now they sit. Right, my not not yet, but why
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  it just doesn't translate. The reason doesn't translate is
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  obviously it's good. It's very important for kids to
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  go to shul and it's very important to have Ming that
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  means that involve the children and have the kids to read.
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  All those things are very important.
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  A big proponent of that and you could see in the show in
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  Brooklyn working on that. But at the same time, the
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  perfectly well, you know, disciplined child and acts very
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  well in shul and then performs beautifully.
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  It's exactly the same as Sun Sense 2.
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  My favorite example is the child actors, any child actors grew up
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  in knowing. Knowing.
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  You know the guy from Home Alone?
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  Yeah, right. He's still alive.
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  Yeah, he's nuts. But he's not exactly with us.
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  He's not an actor. He's not an actor at all.
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  And he wasn't, he wasn't wacky for a long time.
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  And all those people, Why? Because a child actor doesn't
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  really develop into adulthood. It's a whole new animal and you
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  become an adult. A child's performer, an adult
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  performer. 2 grandmas. They could have a good voice as
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  a kid. They don't have a great voice as
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  an adult. They could be very good acting
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  as a child. There are a few and far between
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  them became great as adults. The concept and the similarity
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  is huh exactly. So for them the similarity is
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  the honor and the the fame of that age was impossible to to
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  it. You cannot live with that fame.
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  It's just not possible. So by the time they're 20 years
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  old, it's ready to leave. They don't have a no more
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  upbringing. They don't have a healthy
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  situation with their parents. They probably supported their
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  parents, you know, for you know, they're probably the parents
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  might not even marry. It's craziness over there
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  because of the very weird process and a crazy Mashallah.
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  It's a very crazy parable. But in a certain sense, when the
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  child gets all those ocules as a little kid and shoe, obviously
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  it's good for him and a lot of ways it's great for him.
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  We have the wary of that, which is a lot of shalal Ishma can
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  come into that mix, right? And then you have these problems
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  when they get older on these things and they are not treated
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  the way they expect to be treated or they don't perform as
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  well as they expect to perform on their own.
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  And there are such problems. Fine.
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  Now I'm not disparaging all good things for little kids, but we
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  are disparaging the idea of overdoing perfect acting
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  children in every way or a child succeed.
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  You know, my my daughter, my oldest daughter was as little
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  kid, she was a great actor, which means that she was given a
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  part in the school play. She was given a part and she
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  pretty much had the entire play like they were 20 something kids
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  in her class in front of the whole division of the school, 20
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  something kids in her class. And she got the main act.
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  And I watched on a video after it was a big percentage of the
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  entire play wasn't just the main act, it was most of the play.
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  I remember thinking to myself, first of all, I'm sure all those
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  other parents are not too happy. I don't know why they did this,
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  honestly. And second of all, it's great.
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  I'm very proud of her. She did a great job,
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  unbelievable job. But now I have a lifetime where
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  I have to keep that up. And then I mean, if if, if that
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  wasn't what she was given and she was just given a side part,
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  she wouldn't expect it. Now she has to keep that up her
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  whole life. And it's not really the
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  healthiest thing for a child to have that sort of process.
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  That's just a mindset. It's a lot of pressure.
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  So we at that time, it's the. Book that chose it.
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  That's the book they chosen. That's what it's about.
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  So at the time, we basically didn't make it the biggest deal,
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  even though it was insane deal for childhood age, for the
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  parents, for the grandparents. Well, I thought we tried not to
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  make the biggest deal because we knew we're going to face the
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  future with she's going to have another plate and another plate.
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  She may not get that part right and she might have something
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  else in the school. She might not get treated that
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  way. So it's something at the
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  delicate empty dance, that balance.
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  That's the idea. Let's see the medal of Tarazo
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  brah. How's his concept?
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  What happened to oh extremely important.
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  He's going to mention that himself.
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  He involves the whole solid guarding point, which is, we
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  know the concept that every person starts off doing it for
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  the wrong reason. It'll lead to the right reason.
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  It's true, but there are a lot of collateral damage.
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  On the way. Exactly.
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  There's so many people that get hurt.
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  This is just my opinion. Watching the community or
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  watching the Jewish world, so many people have gotten hurt.
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  From those who did things, quotation marks, Leshima.
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  From those who did good things, good things, Saddiqim.
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  Again, quotation marks are maybe the most destructive people on
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  earth. Saddiqim people who do things or
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  they think they're well-intentioned people and they
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  have backing them the support of the fact of doing them.
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  It's not no one could stop me. They have hurt so many people in
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  the process and I have to be very careful.
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  Just my humble opinion. And that's why we have to be
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  very delicate in the Shalishma. But is that is that is that
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  quiet to everybody? Like I know a guy, little kids,
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  he came with the ice cream candy guy.
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  That's why he came to shul. And today he's the Scotch and
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  Etta guy. Like it's.
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  A Oh, so there are a lot, a lot of people.
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  Yeah, he just changed the the item, but good, you know it
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  didn't turn the. Smell tell you the truth.
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  On the other hand, today you're right about that.
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  But on the other hand, how many people like shul because they
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  ended up in shul as a kid because of used me on scratch
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  without bags prizes. Many many kids got used to shoot
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  from that funny angle. So you got to figure out the
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  balance. All right.
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  I'm previous proponents you can see from Brooklyn on the biggest
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  opponent. I've just get the kids to shoot.
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  I don't care exactly how they act.
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  I don't really care if they perform beautifully to impress
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  their parents and grandparents. It's more about get them to
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  shoot, get them. Used to.
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  Coming. Yeah, you do have to get them to
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  be behave well in shoe, but get them there because that's and
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  and we've seen from the beginning of the community, it's
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  been well known, well documented how important that has been and
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  how people who are you know, the old, the old time mindset, which
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  is don't sit or don't be there or quiet the kids and all that
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  stuff. Or you know that to a certain
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  degree that had a bad effect. You're you're developed.
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  Your grandfather was your grandfather was exactly he's the
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  proponent of the whole idea, right.
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  Let's see the concept of purifying the heart and the
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  mind. Mezela Shauna matzano ezzo de
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  vichamar Lev, the horrible alim that bazook Hashem created for
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  me a pure heart. Then Yana and it's concept is
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  shul yaniya khadam. A person doesn't leave an
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  opening for the ezzo to find a way to mix into his actions.
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  Ella, you call the masab vahayira vilal, said Hakhet by
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  Tava, all his actions, if you had to have a balance of skill,
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  all his actions are more to the side of using his own mind, and
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  you're at your mind than they are.
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  He uses the word het, which means they're coming from sin or
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  tava. Tava doesn't really mean over
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  here temptation to, you know, wrong thing.
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  Tava means my own physical pull. In other words, they're coming
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  from the right place, not the wrong place.
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  This can be true, by the way, even with physical things, even
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  if the person is doing physical, then he still can be doing them
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  for the right reason, right? So I feel like red not good
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  pretty shoot even after the person attained pretty shoot,
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  which was the person's only taking the important things in
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  the world. A dying person has a still on
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  top of being porridge, which means limiting and controlling
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  himself. He has a purify, even the
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  physical thing that he does that they should be done not just to
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  indulge rather for the right reason.
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  That's the intention. So what he's talking about over
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  here is and he brings an extreme example, which is 1.
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  I didn't want to read actually, but it's so extreme.
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  It's hard to explain and it's also pretty graphic.
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  But his point is is that every that's going to get David Look.
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  His point is that every single item person does.
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  Even every physical thing you do has to have a degree of purity,
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  has to have full purity, has to be right minded and every single
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  thing can actually when the person.
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  I know the classic on bond and we discussed it a couple weeks
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  ago where it talks about kiddo Shim to you as I mentioned this,
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  but this is a comparison. What's kadoshim to you?
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  What does it mean to be Kadosh has to do with not having
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  certain relationships. Good.
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  So the Rashi writes Piroshim to you.
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  Piroshim to you means have you learned the last chapter a
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  person. I mean the person should
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  abstain. Like we might have control stuff
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  like that. Then Amban says different kinds
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  called Navalva. That means a guy can be a
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  completely kosher Jew and be an alcoholic numb no that are
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  there, but he's a ruined life. A guy could be a completely
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  completely completely completely kosher Jew when it comes to
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  morals and be a person who indulges.
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  How could be totally totally kosher and indulge physically?
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  He's because he overdoes with his wife.
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  Even such a thing overdoes his wife.
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  Sounds like a funny thing that really when we push someone by
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  it, we never really talked about control because we're really
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  afraid of the person with the wrong mindset of applies control
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  and really backfires. So we're not trying to not a
• 20:07
  proponent of the person overdoing control with his wife
• 20:10
  because really can lead to a bad thing.
• 20:13
  But the mindset is that even as he is fully enjoying himself, he
• 20:19
  has a control of mind, and it's a state of mind which is not
• 20:23
  just doing it just to be a physical animal.
• 20:26
  I'm doing this in a pure minded way.
• 20:30
  I'm building Shalom bite and building a family mindset is
• 20:33
  healthy. You can, you know the difference
• 20:35
  and there is a difference. It's an animalistic mindset and
• 20:38
  there's a healthy building mindset.
• 20:39
  And he's trying to tell you that too is Taura.
• 20:43
  And we know, we all know that really that type of Shalom bite
• 20:47
  is actually the most healthy, pure, beautiful thing in the
• 20:52
  world. Done the right way, done the
• 20:55
  wrong way, it's animalistic. Done the right way, it's
• 20:59
  building, it's pure, it's beautiful.
• 21:01
  And that's actually maybe the most extreme, but maybe the most
• 21:05
  clear example of this concept, which you can have the same act
• 21:09
  or the same thing that can be conceived and can you feel and
• 21:14
  be like a very physical thing or it can be something that builds,
• 21:19
  develops, is pure, is healthy, is wonderful.
• 21:24
  That is exactly this concept of tawda to the fullest that's
• 21:28
  lived, thought about Hashem great, created me with all my
• 21:31
  physical needs and also created me with a pure mind.
• 21:35
  How do they go hand in hand with that blunt?
• 21:38
  If you do things right minded, with the right intention, with
• 21:42
  the right overall goal, everything in our lives can be
• 21:46
  healthy and building. That's this example that he
• 21:47
  brings. Everything should be done
• 21:49
  outside of Hokhmat, outside of Hira.
• 21:52
  It's important to note that Hashem can be found in
• 21:56
  everything we do. Everything Hashem can be found.
• 21:59
  He can be found. Between husband and wife, he can
• 22:02
  be found. Parents, raising children, He
• 22:04
  can be found. In fact, he's found most between
• 22:07
  husband and wife. All right, Ish Visha Shahru,
• 22:13
  husband and wife. Shrina is there there.
• 22:17
  That's a spot, yes, because there's done at the right
• 22:20
  mindset. It's a moment, the Shakina, and
• 22:22
  the same is true every area. Parents raising children,
• 22:25
  whenever we say back to the beginning, running a school,
• 22:28
  running a shul, running institution, running a business,
• 22:32
  everything can have tower on it if it's done with right mindset.
• 22:35
  That's the idea.