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The Harsh Reality Of Achieving Your Goals · Total Barnage

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Total Barnage.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today we are two again.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_02: Just the two of us.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: In the heat of the day, um, getting through a a big week of uh making sure you know people people stay hydrated and uh people make sure that they're that they're training well and still keeping up with all of their habits.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is going to be simply staying hydrated.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Staying hydrated, of course.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: And simply based on the kind of phrase, a bit of a trite phrase, you know, a bit of a maybe overused one.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but nothing changes if nothing changes.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's a great phase, Charlie.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good it's a good phrase.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's a good phrase.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: I think these things, especially, and we're gonna go into it, like these big phrases, these words, what do they actually mean when like and what do they actually look like in the process as you're going through them?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um and we're gonna specifically focus on potential things that might be holding you back in your process of trying to achieve your goals.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Sound good, yes, sounds good, Charlie.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_01: Nice, all right.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So, first first one um is about identity change.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: So, of course, we've kind of talked about in the past a lot about the identity, being the person who does the things, um, being the person that is consistent, seeing yourself as the person that is um on your way to achieve this goal, uh, the person that is saying no to things, the person that is making sacrifices, or just the person that sticks at it when things get tough.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, these there needs to be some sort of identity change uh to be able to stick to habits, and it is more about um yeah, being that person rather than just doing the things uh and you know changing your identity and maybe letting go of a narrative that you've had in the past, certain things, um, and changing that narrative.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I guess you know, we'll touch upon what are the main narratives that people might face when going through, let's say, a fitness, health and fitness journey, transformation or doing something new.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_02: I think a really simple one that I've heard so many times before, as a coach, when you're achieving something which is seen as pretty impressive, you'll get other people s go coming up to you and go, I could never do that.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because what separates me from you, you know, like I'm just another person, I'm not some superhuman, like and I'm I'm doing it.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: And it's where usually w when it's related to like a discipline kind of based like goal, yeah.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: A discipline uh based result.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's yeah, there's that fundamental idea that some people are just built for it, yeah, and some people just aren't.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: And there is which is untrue, yeah, um, and that things are fixed, and that you can't change.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Literally.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that is literally the the narrative that is keeping you stuck, and that is the thing that does need to change above all else, is is the belief that things can't change.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: I told myself when I was at uni I'd I was never gonna get a first.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, you came up with a first.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well how the hell would you do that?
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_02: Change the narrative, mate.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Did you did you actually have I could do it?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: Did you have a point in that process that you decided to change the narrative?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think so.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_02: I think part of it was uh because I was at uni during the uni during COVID, right?
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, school I was just made to believe that I or was led to believe that I couldn't achieve a high grade.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: I just thought I was dumb.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I got into uni with an unconditional, I was just lucky that I got that.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um and I just went into it with that same mindset, um, but I actually really did enjoy what I did at uni, and it was actually I would say in third year where I was surrounded by people who were really kind of driven, and one of my friends actually did the same course as me, she completed it the year prior, and having them in your corner and helping you change that narrative as well, and then I I remember doing one of my assignments and I got a first in it, and I was like, What the hell?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: And as soon as I managed, like you know, it was only just a first, but I did it, and from then on I was like, No, I can do this, and then every single project from then on, I was like, right, we're getting a first in this one, right?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna get a first in this one, and I just made sure that I did, and yeah, I I I definitely say with the help of other positive influences, I did change the narrative, and I think the key point in that as well, like you will have the people around you that you can relate to then doing great things, and you think, oh, like why not me?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but then also it is there is a condition that you are doing those assignments to give you the chance of getting a first.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like you're not getting a first without completing those assignments full stop, but you are doing something to contribute to the likelihood of achieving a first, which is the first step on getting proof and positive feedback that oh wait, like you know, first of all, let me see it's possible, yeah, but then also let me see if it's a fluke, maybe.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And you go, oh, I wonder if this is a fluke, so then you know you need to go and try it again.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you keep doing it more and more.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And after a while, you're like, okay, maybe it's maybe it's not a fluke.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm pretty cool.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: There you go.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then and then you did it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_02: How about you, Chaz?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: Have you had any experiences when you faced either in a narrative or had other people say certain things?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think one of both one thing not too, you know, not too serious.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've had sit like serious points in my life where I didn't believe that change was possible.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I just needed to make a decision and think, okay, how bad do I want things to get to then make a change?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Or sometimes I feel like I'm forced into making a change if you were to compare it to um people having, let's say, like a health scare or something where they're just really, really uncomfortable with where they're at, um, and it's just not a way that way they want to live anymore, so they're kind of forced into that situation.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think on more of a on more of a fitness side of things, I and I've probably overcorrected now, is when I grew up because I wasn't actually just such a skinny kid, and it's why I've had a lot of injuries like through my teens and and like beyond.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I was so deconditioned, I just didn't have enough strength in my legs, in my body.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I always saw myself as someone that would just be skinny.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just a skinny boy, I can't get I can't let it.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I looked at other guys, like even in our distance group, like they're not big guys, but some of them had stronger legs, and I was just like, oh, that must just be oh look, they've got they've got strong legs.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Not drawing the the kind of the the link and being like, well, you know, maybe I should just go and train legs, or even being curious enough to ask them what they did.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I just assumed it was a thing.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just assumed, oh yeah, they're not doing anything, and maybe it maybe it maybe I did have an interaction with someone and it turns out they're not doing anything to get their legs strong.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like one of my like best mates, Ollie, Ollie Phillips, kid is a natural, just like sportsman, packs on massive, he's just like strong, and I'd always sit, I'd sit next to him in our like assembly like chapel, and I would be able to see how skinny my legs are compared to how big his his legs are, and he doesn't he's naturally just he just is built that way, yeah.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um and I then thought, I guess that was it.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was just like, okay, I'm the skinny one, that's the fixed identity, and then he's the he's the stronger one.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I can imagine it's just your trousers blowing in the wind and flatting about but mine was skinny trousers, that's the thing.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: All I'd see is like the quad, but the quad would be so skinny I could just see my knees, and that's all it is.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh your marathon runner quads.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just you know, very efficient and lightweight.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think the but the consistent thing there, and obviously I I say when I say I overcorrected, I mean like now I need to understand and get to the point where I'm like, hold on, like I don't even need to I don't need to chase strength, I don't need to be like overly strong, and it's the kind of thing that has got me into a bit of trouble with this like new injury is like I'm I'm like I really want to make the most of things in a positive way, like I want to make the most of the time that I have recovering from my surgery to get as strong as possible and see exactly what I can do, but then sometimes that leads into the overcorrection and like overreaching um just because I've got like this ambition.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Big old game with patience, isn't it?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: But you're pretty good at that.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean I've had a lot of practice, which is good.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I think the key in both both of our situations is what is called a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and I'm sure that you know if you're if you're listening and you've heard you've probably heard it a lot before.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you never heard it, I will like explain it.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um which it is, you know, a fixed mindset is basically saying things as fixed traits and it's permanent.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever that say, like for me, my fixed identity at that point in time was I am skinny, and therefore, because I am skinny now, and I have been always in the past, in the future I will always be skinny, you know, that's that, and then there's a growth mindset which is okay, I am skinny now.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do to maybe change how I am?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, doing a little bit of research and thinking, how do you get less skinny?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: How do you get stronger?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you pack on a bit of muscle, build muscle, and then you understand psychologically, you you understand you can notice the change, and you think, okay, this is I can actually grow literally, like my legs can grow, but also psychologically I can become a different person, yeah.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Or more so I can still be myself, but just with stronger legs.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, in my life at the moment, yeah, and I think that that fixed that fixed mindset is the thing that keeps people stuck, yeah, because being stuck is just like no change, yeah.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um and the growth mindset is literally can expand to everything, and it's yeah, I was gonna say, don't get me wrong, like it can be for the listeners, if you are feeling like you're stuck with something, but you are trying, and we know how kind of demotivating it can get when you keep you keep trying for something and nothing is changing.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_02: But as I said earlier, either A, it's a game of patience, or B, it's reviewing okay, what isn't like what's not working, and then that is pulling the growth mindset into it, and what can I do from here to then progress and see if this new option can make a change, yeah.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're right.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: I think the the patience part is that um it depends on what your time horizons are with how how your expectations are, like how much you expect to see growth in whatever period of time.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, you might just need to keep going at it for for longer.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: And and the most important, I would say, trait that I've built um and skill that I've built over the last like four years of constant injuries is being able to do things without seeing results.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: And don't compare if someone else is on a similar trajectory to you and maybe they're you know they've been successful in that trajectory a little bit faster than you.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Don't compare because everybody's on a different timeline as well.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it can be good, you know, to use and we can get on to the next the next bit, which is you know, you can use something like a comparison, positive influence, good, posit as a positive influence, yeah.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: You can use it as a temporary fuel.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can say, Oh, this person did it in six weeks, like let me commit for six weeks and see what I can do.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you might not reach the same thing, and you might not get as much progress as someone else in that measure of like defined measure of success that you're looking at, but the main thing is is noticing that a change has been made, yeah, therefore more changes can be made.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and yeah, I think that leads leads us on to the next point, which is using things as temporary fuels, as temporary motivations, um, certainly things which have had maybe a bad rap.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for example, nutrition tracking, yeah, being associated with and always with eating disorders.
• 13:38
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: No, I don't want to track, um, it's just not good, it's just not good for my brain.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: But why is that?
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: Have you tried it before?
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: Have you got yourself into a bad situation like that before?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_02: Have you had someone else help you with that and maybe switch your mindset and gain a more positive mindset from it?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because yes, there are people who have done tracking and they've been super recessive with it, and it has led to them having an eating disorder, but that's not everyone, and you know, it can be a really, really valuable tool, like we were talking about it earlier, right?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: You've tracked in the past, Charlie.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Me and Guy pr almost consistently track if we haven't tracked, or you know, we're not actively tracking, we're eating the same meals that we were tracking prior, so we know what we're putting into our bodies, and sometimes it just takes even like a couple of weeks of tracking, just so you know you're getting into a routine of certain meals.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: Because for me, and I know guys say this as well, like if I didn't track my food or I didn't know 100% kind of what I'm putting in, I would gain too much weight because I've just naturally got a really high appetite.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I bring in all those cookies, and you bring in all those cookies, and then I can't use them.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, and I wouldn't have my fitness power to then you know free jig the macros from my other meals, I'd be the cookie monster.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you would be the cookie monster.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's like it's like it's a really weird thing to compare it to, I guess.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_02: But it's like when people say I'm I'm gonna do swimming because I'm gonna look like a swimmer.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's like no no no no, you're not.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: But like people saying, you know, I'm not gonna track because I will get an eating disorder.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_02: No, you're not.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're not, some people are just more like almost predisposed to getting that kind of thing and more vulnerable to getting it because of maybe previous experiences, or maybe they've really struggled with like body dysmorphia, or they've gone through something traumatic, and that can trigger that, but it's not that might not be you.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: And if you've got a coach in your corner who can help you with stuff like that, and people who've got a healthy mindset, then you're probably gonna be fine.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, and I think that it makes sense why you would you know make the association of okay, if I do this, then the outcome is is this.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like you're trying to predict what happens in the future, it keeps things simple.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, having things looking at it from a black and white perspective and just having right and wrong, it does keep things simple.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: It it just means that there's no like complexity.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: It removes noise, it removes noise, but then it also removes the actual experience, which is slightly messy and a learning process.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it also removes if it removes noise, it also removes that kind of personalised touch in the personalised experience.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: For sure.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um and again, like fixed versus growth mindset is fixed is oh, it's happened to someone else, therefore it's going to happen to me.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, of course, if there are some extreme situations that you know someone has I don't know, jumped off a jumped off a bridge or something, and that hasn't gone very well.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Shouted, my fitness punk.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it must be that the dragons.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um but no, no, I meant just in general, not because of that.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: That would be terrible.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's a really poor taste joke.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I apologise.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but but yeah, it is it there is more to it than just a black and white that yeah, right and wrong.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_02: It was the it was the blue blue app's fault.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: It probably wasn't actually, you know.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think also sometimes it's a branding issue when it comes to these you talk about like narratives being um changed and altered and belief systems and perspectives being changed throughout the process, um, is saying nutrition like tracking, um, calorie counting, you know, these words, these buzzwords, which have associations with maybe negative have negative connotations because of stuff that has happened within the fitness industry, like, oh, I don't want a calorie count.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, well, if I told you that you know, I just want you to document, you know, what you're what you've been eating, what you've been consuming, it sounds a lot different.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in the same way that you know, if you kind of want to budget like to be able to sort out your finances, it's not the same as you know, oh, it's like counting, I don't know.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: You just don't have the same thing for counting money and counting calories, like those two are even though they're the same, the same, like kind of same words, yeah, there's a different association.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: So trying to decouple the um the word that has you know kind of the maybe negative connotations and is a bit of a buzzword, um, trying to decouple them from the actual experience uh is probably a good way to go so that you can see that yeah, it's not all it's not all that bad.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: I just think also a big reason a lot of people don't want to do it is because they're met with the harsh reality that what they're doing isn't working, and what they're doing is probably the reason why they're stuck, and they don't want that accountability because they want to believe that you know it must be easy.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: But actually, as I said, the harsh reality is like doing stuff like that isn't easy, it it it it it can be slightly inconvenient having to like put your data into a meal and measure out X, Y, and Z, but it gets results, yeah, yeah.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like people transform their body and they build really healthy routines from it.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_02: And as we said, once you know, you know how many cows is in your bowl of oats, and you know, you know that you're having that same thing, you don't have to do that, and you've got the freedom, and suddenly you're healthier, you're lighter, you can you're more confident in yourself, you can move better, feel better, you know, be better, be more confident, yeah.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_02: And that they don't wanna that they don't want to face the fact that that's actually the change that they need to make to achieve you know that toned look that they're looking for, for example.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, I I think it is it is that reality that you are going to be exposed.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, once you start to document things, once you start to track them, even if you're doing it in private, yeah, if you start to journal, like the most uncomfortable thing about journaling is to start writing and seeing your words on the piece of paper.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's also the thing that probably gives you the most relief and distance from the actual emotions that you're feeling.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: But the process of doing it and bringing things into broad daylight, especially if the reason why you haven't made a change is because you are ignoring it or avoiding it or kicking the can down the road or you know, suppressing it or anything like that, is you gotta face it at some point, and you you just gotta ask yourself, you know, if things were worse, would I be better off?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like what condition am I waiting to happen to actually make a change and to and to start?
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's hard to be proactive, um, but being reactive comes with consequences, being like, you know, what what forced you to be reactive isn't probably not a very fun experience of some sort of yeah, health scare or just a very deep feeling of being uncomfortable in your own body, the way you view yourself, everything like that.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to be proactive, but it's harder to live in the same vicious cycle that you keep going around, and it's harder to be living with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and it's harder for your doctor to be telling you that you know you've got X, Y, and Z because you didn't take care of X, Y, and Z.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right?
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it just might not be as visible day to day.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly, and you know, yeah, it's these kind of things and these kind of changes, and they're not comfortable, but you have to you have to conquer that, you have to try and approach that with a growth mindset, otherwise nothing nothing changes if nothing changes.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_02: Right, guys, that's the end of the day, Boscar.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's it, that's it.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: Delay everyone.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um so yeah, we've got you know, the the narrative needs to change.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: The story that you tell yourself is really important.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the way that you view yourself, uh the the words uh That you tell yourself, maybe when things get they get difficult.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh noticing, I think this is when actually when and I love a journal.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: Charlie's whole he's caressing his journal.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's blowing in the wind.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you know what I realized when we were talking about uh tracking, yeah, what I've done with my like journaling, it's pretty much just tracking there.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's track like it's just tracking.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've tracked something, whatever it is, a feeling, emotion, a thought, uh, a judgment, whatever, um, an action, all of that stuff.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_00: I've tracked it for the last you know five years, let's say.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: My thoughtless pal instead of my fitness pal.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: My thoughtness pal.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's good.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: Boom, boom.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to think of a better one now.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_02: You will not find it.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_02: No, that's good.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_02: No, I can't.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's really good.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh my thoughtness pal.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: So my thoughtness pal.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's like I have been tracking it and I've I can go back through the archives and I can see things and I can see things being exposed.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I can see when I repeat habits, when I repeat maybe mistakes, and I can try and I use that information.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'll go into my journal and previous journals.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've actually got, you know, I've got all of mine here with me in prep for um You know what's actually really funny as well.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was about to say so.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: The journal that you gave me, I think one of my first little jots in there, jots, jots, was nothing changes, nothing changes.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_02: I was going through something, and I was like, well, nothing's gonna change if I don't do something to change this situation.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: And then I did one about knowing when to push and when to pull back as well.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_02: Two good little that's what I just thought about.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_02: I thought my god, I've literally written that in in my green book.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: These are good chats.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I've got these basically I've got a few of these journals, and they're all full with stuff.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: A couple books in one of us.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: And once I'm really kind of uh I enjoy the process of things, I enjoy understanding the process of things.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: I quite like um not just looking at the base level, like what is the the transaction, what is the experience.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: I like to understand like what the experience looks like living forwards.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um there's a kind of quote from Soren Kierkegaard, the philosopher, and he says that you know life is lived forwards, but only makes sense in reverse, only makes sense when looking back.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I think actually it's a good it's a it's a very true and uh kind of useful way to understand how our experiences work because it's we don't really know how things look going forward, uh, we don't really know what people mean by these big words of like discipline.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: What do people really mean by discipline?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: What does it look like?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is the experience day to day that can be described as being disciplined?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_00: Um, what is you know you can go into like very specific like semantics of the word and you know pick it apart, but labelling experiences as um as things that you have been told and understanding that that is actually how it should be, um, you know, things being difficult isn't just pushing really hard at the end of a session, being diff like things being difficult is also maybe resisting temptation uh in the evening.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: Resisting those cookies, resisting the cookies, or even um difficult is when you have, you know, you want to be, you feel like you've earned something and then you want to be kind to yourself, but the that difficult then shows up by again like calling yourself out on your bullshit, yeah, calling yourself out when you realize there's a voice in your head that's trying to appease you and trying to make you kind of veer you away from your goals.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it comes in all shapes and sizes with things being hard and things being difficult.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's not just grit your teeth, it might be just that uncomfortable day-to-day, the mundane.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it might be that things seem you might feel that you're become boring when you stop drinking and go out.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um you've been called you've been called boring by your mates, and then you have to leave to go home early.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: It might even be difficult just to rip the band-aid off and be like, right, it's 10 pm, I'm not staying out the whole night.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've got to get up in the morning.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Stop people pleasing.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's yeah, that is a good one.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's also like, say you've had a bad day, and you know, you've been really, really good at falling into this routine, and then something happens where you've been a little bit upset, and then all of a sudden you've fallen back into some bad habits because you go, Oh, it was a really bad day.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna I'm just gonna do this.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's a really bad day, I'm just gonna drink this bottle of Rosecco.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: But you weren't drinking, and you were doing really well with your diet, and then you're just gonna do that, and then that just like you can fall back into that those bad habits, those bad patterns, right?
• 27:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think one one thing, and I kind of covered this um in episode last week, just talking about how things happen by accident and paying attention to um things that are unexpected and things that don't go your way, is the really important kind of trait of awareness, um, being aware of it, like all of these experiences, all of the ways that you can get to your goals, a lot of them is actually just developing awareness, but just in different ways.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: So tracking your nutrition means that you are aware of actually what you're putting into your body.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, you know, if you are let's say that you do have you go from the opposite perspective, and you think, okay, why have I failed to uh failed to complete a week of um a week of tracking or a week of sticking to your nutrition?
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe it is because you didn't have the awareness at the time to slow down and to remind yourself of your goals that then gives you that value judgment that saying no on a night out to a few drinks, to celebrations, whatever, is worth it.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: So the adherence comes from the kind of development and the cultivation of awareness, being aware in the moment and thinking, okay, let me just slow down.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is this worth it?
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like undoing my progress, and then when you make you might make a mistake, a lot of it will come down to a lack of awareness in the moment and being rash or just not paying attention.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, rash, heavy on the rash decisions, decisions, that's hard to say, deficient.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's other yeah, there's other things with with what these words actually mean going through it and labelling the experience.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, you might have you know disciplined.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um the whole rely on discipline over motivation, that is I mean it's also one of those narrative changes, which is uh you don't need to feel like doing it to do it, you don't need to want to do it to do it.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can still get it done without wanting to do it.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: You can't rely on motivation every time, you cannot, otherwise you're not gonna get anywhere.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_02: Nobody's motivated all the time.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and the and discipline may show up in lots of different ways.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it is, you know, really kind of like a tough discipline.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, right, I'm gonna be disciplined, I'm gonna uh I'm gonna say no to things, I'm gonna be um it's kind of like quite a big character.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_00: Discipline feels like it's kind of like a you know, it's uh Goggins.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's quite goggins.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's quite David Goggins, like David Goggins.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um but then d the discipline is also it can be quite, you know, like soft.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes it might be the discipline of doing less.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like you say, like when to push, when to pull.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's doing doing less, like discipline, eating eating less.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um you know the discipline is just making a decision quickly and leaving your phone downstairs instead of taking it up to bed for the best with you.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um and and yeah, Golgens does have a good thing related to this, which is the one second decision.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know about the one second decision?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let me let me let me tell you then.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say the three second, the three-second rule.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: It says three, yeah, it's three, two, one, three, two, one, go.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: Don't snooze your alarm, three, two, one, up you get, yeah, go have a shower, you smell.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but no, the one-second decision is basically a lot of things um that stop you from achieving your goals, a lot of the things that stop you from pushing through, is not um it's not about doing everything, it's just about not quitting.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and a lot of the time the decision to quit happens in that split second.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: So even if it's building up, so let's say that you're sitting in your living room and you know that there's some ice cream in the freezer, pause, and it's and it's nice, it's nice and hot.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's been nice and hot, and and you're kind of resisting the temptation.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's not good.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: You should probably keep it in the breeze.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: We turn down the freezer.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_02: Ice cream, hot cream.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're sitting, you're you're sorry.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're um sitting down on the sofa and you're resisting temptation for like 20 minutes, right?
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're watching Wimbledon or whatever you're watching, and strawberries and hot cream.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, strawberries and hot cream, yeah, and you're like, oh shit, I've already eaten the ice cream.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: I need some more ice cream.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's not how I viewed it.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's too hot.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you have been resisting temptation for 15 minutes, 20 minutes.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but along that 15 to 20 minutes, it is made up of individual seconds where you have said no.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Do I get it?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_02: Do it not, do I get it?
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_02: Do it.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's and that's it's not a continuous like oh resist, resist, resist, resist, resist.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh must go and get it.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yeah, it's like every three minutes you're like, oh I should oh I could.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh I shouldn't.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: But each of those, and let's say you do give in on the 20th minute, although it was building up, yeah, it was that one second, which the kind of straw that broke the camel's back type thing.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and that's this is a uh this realization and integration into my life and how I see things, especially with my um injuries over the last like two and a half years, is that each time it is just a one-second decision, and each one refreshes, like and to be able to make those one-second decisions which align with your long-term goals, is you have to also be able to let go of the efforts that have preceded it, the efforts in the past, and you've got to let go of the past to be able to say, actually, this decision has got nothing to do with the last 20 minutes of giving in.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is a decision right now, made right now to you know to not eat the hot ice cream, warm cream.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so yeah, once yeah, one second decision.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and that is you need to be aware of that.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be aware, you've got to slow down, you've got to have a practice that um maybe somet makes something more difficult to access so you can have that sort of mindfulness gap, that gap in between the thinking and the doing, um, to make things less automatic.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and yeah, that is something which is you know should hopefully help you go out.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_02: Our lives are spent looking into the future only makes sense when you look back at the past, but you make the decisions in the present in that one second.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's very true.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: And uh and actually, you know, that's go into a couple of other things, like what does it actually look like?
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um and you talk about these things maybe like patience, uh you talk about uncertainty, and to be able to label those experiences in the moment either by talking to uh to people or reading stuff on the virtues of being patient, even just a simple definition, and because the complexity of the experience, especially when emotions are involved going forward, uh you can't really see the the wood from the trees, I think is the phrase.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: The wood from the forest from the trees.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: You basically can't see it's the signal and the noise.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: The forest from the trees sounds right.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it probably sounds a bit better.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, um, you can't really figure out like what's what is relevant information, what is the simple forest and then what right like the individual things from the forest.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the big thing, yeah.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_02: That makes sense, all the wood from the trees.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, done.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, but yeah, no, yes, you kind of you you you're looking at, you know, you've you've got your emotional situation, it's very complex, it's very muddy, and you don't have that much clarity, um, it's very cloudy, and to be able to have the awareness in that moment to slow down and try and put a label on it after you know feeling the emotions to think, what is this emotion that I'm feeling?
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: What can it be described by?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: What is this experience that I'm going through?
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm week six into giving the gym a go, and now I don't I'd really don't want to go.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: I've kind of like I've done my bit, I can't really be bothered.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_00: Lost my motivation.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: So then you've lost motivation, so then in that moment, it's not a okay, this is the be-all and end all, I'm not going to be able to do it.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: This is the exact moment that you are just experiencing a thing that we call demotivation.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: And the response to demotivation is get yourself to the gym, get yourself out on a run, do five minutes, do ten minutes, and then see how you feel.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: So literally get yourself there, and to if you can see in the moment and to understand what your what your emotions are actually signalling, then you have an amazing capacity to be able to live life forwards in line with your goals rather than always relying on hindsight to look back once the mistake has already been made.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: Sure.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: A practice for doing this.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: How do you do this?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh let's go back to in this whole episode.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's you need to either change your habits, you've got to change your limiting beliefs, you've got to change the way that you look at yourself, you have to change the narrative and how you have kind of perceived yourself, others around you, and just maybe what people might think of you, or it's more so what you think people might think of you.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_02: Zoom out, see the bigger picture.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and the way that you can distance yourself like like this is uh writing down and some sort of tracking, so it could be writing down your current habits and your perspectives, how you view things.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be an uncomfortable process if you've never done it before, like any physical discomfort by lifting weights that um you haven't lifted before.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be that mental mental discomfort, which is just it might be a feeling in your stomach, it might be just a real resistance in your thoughts, and writing them down, and that's gonna be the biggest hurdle.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um write down then how these habits or perspectives might actually be useful and they might serve you well in either the moment or have served you well in the past.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: So going through and thinking at certain points um you know not doing something, not going to the gym, uh, not going for a run might have saved you from injury.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: So there is for some reason there has been a um a benefit of you not doing these things.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um then after that, ask yourself like, are these useful to me now with the goals I have going forward?
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um so it's acknowledging that it is a very normal part of life to have these beliefs, like there's a reason why you have these beliefs because at some point they were useful.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_02: You've experienced something, yeah, it's given you a positive um reinforcement from it.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then that is then the change is once you've written down those, and that will then give you some clarity, shed some light on maybe things that you wouldn't even have noticed or paid attention to, um, and then ask yourself, yeah, are they useful to me now?
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then what would be a useful perspective that would make it easier to achieve the goals I want to achieve?
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, for sure.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you, Charlotte.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Charles.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for thank you for the idea for this um this episode.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_02: And thank you for expanding.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: That's alright, always happy to.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_02: A pun the idea.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_02: Pun the idea.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that was good.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: I like that as well.
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_00: So if you enjoy this type of episode, this more kind of practical way, um, a more realistic representation of what it looks like uh to actually change your habits, change your beliefs to achieve your goals.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_02: Harsh realities.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the harsh realities, what it looks like going forward in the future, making decisions in the present.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly that.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: And uh drop us a message if if there is um anything that you want to see or hear on next podcast.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, we obviously at the gym we do our personal training and we do our classes.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: So drop us a message if you do want to make that change, and uh we can get you sorted out.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_00: With a premium PT package.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: Ten thousand dollars.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_02: Ten thousand ban.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_02: No no no goodbye.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_00: Goodbye.