Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 36 - From Fear to Hope: Timber Cleghorn's Journey (from Alone - Season 11) - Part 1 of 2

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Ep. 36 - From Fear to Hope: Timber Cleghorn's Journey (from Alone - Season 11) - Part 1 of 2 · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Timber Cleghorn: Am I just worthless dust trapped in a meaningless existence, or is there something? We can bring it. We can bring hope, and we can bring life by just being there, speaking a kind word, lifting them up with a strong hand. That's why I've dedicated my life that way, and I and I hope that it will be meaningful to someone in the end.
• 0:17
  Christy-Faith: Welcome to the Christy-Faith Show, where we share game changing ideas with intentional parents like you. I'm your host, Christy-Faith, experienced educational adviser and homeschool enthusiast. Together, we'll explore ways to enrich and transform both your life and the lives of your children. As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest- it's a challenge.
• 0:57
  Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press Homeschool Curriculum. Now, many think that BJU Press Homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have?
• 1:23
  BJU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility and easily complements my family's mixed age, family together, on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too, visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 1:51
  Welcome listeners to today's episode where we delve into the extraordinary life of Timber Cleghorn, a humanitarian aid worker, devoted father of 3, a standout contestant on the History Channel's riveting show, Alone the Arctic Circle season 11. Timber was raised off grid and homeschooled.
• 2:13
  He offers a distinct perspective on modern life, holistic living, shaped by his profound experiences in some of the world's most impoverished regions. Timber is the author of the captivating new book, memoir of a wild man. I could not put this down. I just want you guys to know. I would be so surprised if this does not become a best seller.
• 2:33
  You guys need to get this book. It is not just about his experience on the show alone. The show alone has captured our family's imagination. And Timber on season 11 quickly became our favorite contestant with his impressive growth mindset. And a lot of you ladies listening, I know you are growth mindset girlies.
• 2:53
  Also, your positivity and resilience, Timber, was something that really stood out to our family. I can't tell you how many times we paused the show to talk about what you just said and why that is a growth mindset. It was pretty phenomenal. From the outset, Timber, you were the one to watch. Having immersed myself in your book over the past few days, I have found myself profoundly moved by your journey and your humanitarian work.
• 3:19
  Yesterday, as I read about your experiences in conflict zones, I was deeply touched by your courage and resilience. To our parent listeners, please be advised that Timber's story encompasses themes of profound loss, danger, fear, and ultimately redemption. Consider previewing this episode to determine if it is suitable for younger ears. Today, I have three goals for our conversation. 1st, Timber, I wanna hear about your life story touching a bit on your homeschooling and your feelings about it now that you are a homeschool graduate.
• 3:51
  Secondly, I wanna discuss your experiences on the show alone. But most importantly, I'm interested in uncovering the invaluable lessons you've gleaned from your incredible life experiences. Thank you so much for joining us today, Timber. Let's dive into your fascinating journey. The first question I wanna ask you is pretty simple so people can understand the context of what brought us here together today.
• 4:16
  Could you please take a moment to explain the show alone for those unfamiliar with it and how you got on to season 11? I loved this story from your book.
• 4:25
  Timber Cleghorn: Absolutely. Thank you. And firstly, thank you for all those kind things that you said and for the invitation to be on this podcast. I'm just really honored. But, yeah.
• 4:32
  So Alone is my favorite thing on TV because I think it's it's just so incredibly real. Here's what it is. It's about it's a show about what happens to someone physically, mentally, spiritually when they are cut off from any other human contact, when they're, like the show says, alone for an extended period of time. And the setting that the producers choose to do this in is in the wild, which brings in all sorts of other wonderful things. So I think it's primarily a a show about humans, like what happens to humans.
• 5:00
  What does what does community mean? What does it what does it mean to be alone? But it's all set in the Bushcraft survival wilderness context, which is my favorite context. So there's 10 contestants. Each contestant gets to choose 10 survival tools.
• 5:14
  Normally, it's like a saw, an axe, a bow, an arrow, a cooking pot, sleeping bag, that type of thing. And then with those 10 tools, you are dropped off in the middle of nowhere, and you have a box full of camera batteries with, I think, 5 cameras that you have to use. So there's no crew around. There's nobody. It's when you're dropped off and the helicopter flies away, you're left in absolute isolation and silence.
• 5:35
  And you have to film the whole thing. So you're talking to the camera and using those tools, trying to get food. You don't take there's no food with you. So from that moment, you're totally responsible for your own survival and you just got to make it happen. And whoever survives the longest and can, more importantly, push through isolation the longest wins, half $1,000,000 prize.
• 5:54
  Christy-Faith: How did you get on the show?
• 5:57
  Timber Cleghorn: Yeah. I I didn't know that so many people applied for the show. It's it's evidently tens of thousands. I didn't know that or I would have been discouraged. I just wrote a quick email.
• 6:04
  I had come home from, really intense round of humanitarian aid missions in war zones. I was, kind of down just by being surrounded by death and chaos a lot. And I I said, we our family needs some time. And I was like, man, I I need some time in the wilderness. And we got to America.
• 6:20
  We sat down, and my kids turned on a show and it was alone. And I thought about applying for years. Couldn't do it because I was so busy. But after look looking at them turn on that show, something clicked in my mind. I think in 10 minutes, I'd applied.
• 6:30
  So I just wrote a quick email, sent it. And they sent back their standard process and I went through all of that. And then surprisingly, months later, they called me and they said, look, we'd like to find out more. And I was blown away. I'm a nobody.
• 6:42
  I'm like, how they even find my application? I was blown away.
• 6:44
  Christy-Faith: Well, and I find your background interesting because you mentioned in your book that you grew up in an off grid militia training camp starting from 5 years old. And part of that was being homeschooled. You mentioned in your book, quote, I grew up in fear. Every day of my life was controlled by it. I would love for you to share a little bit about your childhood, what that was like growing up in that way, a little bit about what your homeschooling looked like.
• 7:12
  Timber Cleghorn: Thank you. Yeah. This is a difficult topic, and so all of my life I've never delved into it until being on Alone because the producers convinced us it's best to just really speak what you really are and your honest thoughts on camera. That's it's it's best. And I I said, I'm gonna do that.
• 7:28
  And so I I opened up a bit about that. And since then, I've been speaking about it more. I'll do my best to kind of go over that. I was raised off grid when I was really, really young. We moved away from civilization, so to speak.
• 7:39
  We found a farming area. I went as far out as we could, bought land. There was no electric out there, so it was just perfect. We lived for all the all my grown up years with no electricity, no running water, no neighbors from you could climb a hill in our farm area and not see one electric light, a security light, or a neighbor's light from there. It was just it was kind of a pocket of wilderness, which I loved in so many ways until it became, like, bit overwhelming.
• 8:09
  It was more than just isolation in the country because the reason the reason we went out there was really because fear. At the time, there would been a lot of events in our country like Waco with the way events went down at Waco was really scary. Ruby Ridge shootings and other operations where the government was involved and it ended up being a lot of a lot of times homeschool families that were considered French people. And so therefore, I think the US government was trying to decide at the time, how do we approach these people? And there was a lot of cases that were very mishandled and and people were killed and stuff.
• 8:38
  And then there was a demographic in our country and then our groups of homeschoolers that took that and went to the most extreme extent that fear can take you. And that's what I'm going to talk about a lot throughout this whole thing. I always go back to like, what can fear do? Because ultimately homeschooling is wonderful. Being prepared to know what to do if society collapses, those are wonderful things.
• 8:58
  But fear is not wonderful. And so then eventually living out all those years in more and more fear, it kind of pervaded other areas of life, even into my faith. I'm open about my faith on the show alone. But that was a difficult road for me because came a time that I hated the idea of God, of church, of all this just hated it because there was so much fear there. I thought God, if he existed, was hiding in heaven with a hammer ready to crush me like a bug.
• 9:21
  And so I would say all of that kind of contains my story a bit. There was religious fear, fear of the government, fear of my family. Like, I I remember we just didn't have much. I remember being afraid every time I ate that I would eat too much and one of my other siblings would go hungry. Even though my parents always put something on the table, but there was fear there.
• 9:40
  Fear that I could never just measure up because there's a lot of pressure in our home, a lot of pressure. Won't get too deep into that but just we'll call it pressure and it was very intense. And I I just remember being terrified, terrified of my life that I could never get free or be anything. So that that's how living out there in that country off grid can be so wonderful. And also, it can kinda go off the rails if you're if you're doing all that for the wrong reasons.
• 10:02
  But ultimately, living in the country like that was good for me because I would run off into the woods and there I'd find peace.
• 10:08
  Christy-Faith: Yes. I can see that. I'm not the only person that says this. A lot of thought leaders in the homeschool space differentiate between reasons to homeschool. And we often say, we don't want to homeschool running from something.
• 10:22
  It's better to be running to something because then you can have a joy filled homeschool and home. And I do think that in the late eighties, early nineties, there was a contingent of people in our society just running from the government to take their kids home out of fear. And a lot of that was based on religion. I was curious. Was the the environment that you grew up in, was it a faith based community?
• 10:49
  Timber Cleghorn: Yes. It was in a way. And you said those things so eloquently, but so much better to run to something good than from something bad. Oh, my goodness. You you said that so well.
• 10:58
  And that resonates. I'm glad there are independent thinkers and homeschoolers thinking that way today. Because at those years, and I'm a product of those late eighties, nineties, mishaps and errors in thinking. I think it was faith based in a large way. There was some really, really conservative Christian thought going into that which also can be based in fear which enhanced the atmosphere of fear.
• 11:19
  Like for example, our Christian culture is under attack. Now, I think the word culture plays into this so much. I like to reference it. But there was a thought that our Christian culture is under attack. They're going to kill us even just for that.
• 11:32
  So we have to be really intense about that when and make make our Christian micro culture so much stronger to withstand the apocalypse. There was religious pressure and a big part of that identity was religious. And then a big part of it was also political fear, which brought in a lot of militia training type things. Guys that would train us children from a young age and weapons and different things. But it was it was fear from both angles.
• 11:56
  It was a lot of influence from the religious angle and from the government or political angle.
• 12:00
  Christy-Faith: Interesting. And I hope the editor does not edit out the cute little baby sounds in the background. Those of you listening, if you heard that little baby, it's because Timber right now is in a hospital room because his baby girl was just recently born. We wanna say congratulations, And that is why you heard that cute little baby coo. And even if it's a cry, we don't care.
• 12:22
  We love babies. So it's pretty incredible that, we had to move this filming and then I'm shocked that you still wanted to film today, but I'm so happy to have this conversation with you. Timber Thank you. I wanna ask you about the homeschooling piece in itself. What did it look like for you growing up?
• 12:42
  Timber Cleghorn: Yeah. My mother, I have to credit her with so much. She's a amazing person, mother of 11, homeschooling everybody herself and living off grid, meaning for for a long time that meant washing all the laundry by hand. So my my mother is strong pioneer woman. Oh my gosh.
• 12:58
  She was a professional elementary teacher. That had been her experience in her job discipline before becoming a mother. And so she brought that into the home. And I really think that's what set set a good tone for a lot of my early schooling. She would be she just did really well at all the elementary education.
• 13:16
  Reading, all of those skills, foundational skills, she just hammered it so hard. And all of like, all of us had a strong, strong foundation of skills because of her being a professional elementary education teacher. But our homeschooling would kinda look like this. It would all be blended with farm life and and other things training. It would be blended together.
• 13:35
  So we'd get up really early through the school years. We I would be getting up at like 5:30 as a kid because I wanted to run outside and have a trap line and trap beaver and things. And I would not I would not be allowed to do that unless I was home to milk the cows by 6:30. And so I would get up at 5:30 or 5 and go run my trap line in pitch black darkness, get back milk cows, get to breakfast. If we we had to be to breakfast by 7:45 and like eat in a half hour and then start school.
• 14:00
  And my mom would be breastfeeding someone from the rocking chair, and then she'd be hollering at someone else doing the dishes. And since she'd be having flash cards, multiplication flash cards that she'd be doing with somebody. She'd be conducting a bible class and helping someone memorize Psalm a 100 or something. That was what it was like. My growing up years, that's what the home was like.
• 14:17
  And sometimes, in the end, the end result was really good. But sometimes that could be really chaotic just because of the amount of stress that was put on my mom to manage all those kind of things. I don't think that those years were all happy years for her, which which could introduce some of my key thoughts on why someone would or wouldn't homeschool.
• 14:33
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• 15:04
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• 15:28
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• 15:49
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• 16:22
  Go to learningrx.com or click the link in the show notes. Yeah. Well, I would love to hear that from you. But first, I wanna ask you, did she use a curriculum? Was she using the big ones back then were Abeka and things like that.
• 16:35
  Did she or did she use textbooks from when she taught?
• 16:38
  Timber Cleghorn: She used mostly a Becca curriculum and she really believed in it. And it, Becca curriculum is like a very strong faith based, curriculum as well and so she really likes that. And it also, Becca curriculum has a strong phonics and reading, foundation in it which I'm grateful for. You know? But she she mostly used that, but then she put it together.
• 16:58
  She, like, pulled pieces that she wanted and put it all together herself being a teacher that she was. I just have to hand it to my mom because she she really pulled those things off well. She worked so hard, so hard. And she's a disciplinarian, tough mother. I, I go to these old pioneer villages.
• 17:16
  Like, we have a state park near us, and there's these villages where the houses were built in like 18 06 log cabins and the little one room houses. And they have a plaque on the wall about the family that lived there with 13 kids and did all this. And I walk in and I look around and I say, My mom is this, is this greater woman. She could, she could do this. And she did.
• 17:34
  I admire her.
• 17:35
  Christy-Faith: Wow. That's phenomenal. And for the listeners, just, a quick one minute history of homeschooling. What we have to remember is back in the 1960s, it was a lot of the hippies that were starting the homeschooling movement and then it kind of caught on in more religious, a lot of in the South throughout the United States. But at the same time, in the 80s 90s, that was when each of the states were fighting for homeschooling rights and parenting rights.
• 18:01
  But you guys, back then, we didn't have these 9 pedagogies per se. They weren't labeled. It wasn't like you could be Charlotte Mason or unit study or this or the Yeah. If you wanted to homeschool, you pretty much had to buy a Becca or one of those biggies and there weren't a lot out there and homeschooling was rather new. And so, pretty much back then, if you had to homeschool, you were raised on one of these big box curricula companies.
• 18:28
  I want to circle back to what you mentioned about your mom because you said that those they appear to be kinda hard days, maybe for your mom. One thing, one of the reasons why I started Thrive Homeschool Community is because women who have chosen this lifestyle, culture attacks us, culture views us with skepticism. They also accuse us of having privilege and some of that might be true. But the reality is, is most of us are making financial sacrifices and career sacrifices to choose to educate our children at home and we are doing it for a lot more reasons nowadays than maybe being scared. We have kiddos who have special needs and the system simply isn't serving them well and we know we can do it better but it isn't an easy choice.
• 19:16
  We are choosing to put the burden of our children's future essentially, on our shoulders. A lot of us not having a background in education, that does not mean you're not qualified. You are still the most qualified person on the planet to do it because no one knows your kids more than you. But I wanna dive into that a little bit because it is a hard life, especially the way that you grew up. What do you remember observing about your mother in that regard?
• 19:41
  Timber Cleghorn: I remember for years, I just I was heartbroken for my mother. I've had a lot of compassion for her because you you just nailed it. It's a commitment that's astronomical in proportions especially the more kids just just magnifies it even even greater. And you have to be so many things. A mom that's gonna homeschool across these age ranges has to be so many more things than almost any professional in this business world that we live in.
• 20:06
  A professional needs to specialize in one thing, but but this type of mother has to be everything. You know? And that brings me to the high school years where we there was another neighbor lady who was a pre professional high school teacher and donated time to come And a few days a week work with those of us who are high school age, and that really that really salvaged the late the latter portion of my homeschooling experience and made it turn out good because there was help. And I would say a lot of moms think that it would be wrong to accept help when you're facing something so monumental, but it's totally not wrong if there's help. It's wonderful to to have.
• 20:40
  But my mom was like just the magnitude of this job, it and the magnitude of of the heaviness of a survival life style and all the work that goes into that was so just so heavy. Just for so many years, I felt that she was just keeping it together. Just keeping it together mentally. She's incredibly strong, but I don't think she had a lot of just fun days. There were no outings to get your nails done and relax a bit.
• 21:02
  My heart just went out to my mom for so many years because of this. And it she she did it well, but it was hard on her. It took it took life from her. But she always had a saying. She said, I want to be the kind of mother that would give up my life so that my children can have theirs.
• 21:16
  And and if my mom were to listen to this, I would say that you just exemplified that really well. But it took life from her, and I noticed that even as a as a 10 year old, I wanted to do my own thing, and I was part of the problem. But my heart would be just in compassion for my mom because it's stress. I think the stress level is something that even if you're homeschooling for the best of reasons, you got to consider this very carefully because that can make the home enjoyable or not enjoyable. And the stress level in our home was off the charts compounding some of those fear issues we talked about.
• 21:43
  And then some discipline approaches came in on top of that. And just the stress levels were off the charts. Yeah.
• 21:49
  Christy-Faith: And what, mama, if you're listening right now and you are feeling like homeschooling is draining you and you feel like every day is Groundhog Day and this is the right thing, but you haven't figured out how to make this life giving, I just wanna invite you to email me at hello@christyfaith.com, and we will get back to you and we will help you with resources because there are enough resources now. There weren't back when Timber was raised. There weren't. But now there are. There's all sorts of ways we can help you source curriculum, outsource some things, figure out how to do family together learning, and all sorts of things that just in sometimes, it's only a few little tweaks that can really turn this into a really phenomenal lifestyle for you.
• 22:32
  So if you're feeling that, I just want to invite you to go ahead and email. Timber, I wanna talk a little bit about that fear that you have mentioned several times. And you mentioned a lot in your book that, man, you gave me sections to read. I did not. I was like breathe.
• 22:48
  I was just in on that. I couldn't stop. You're a very good writer. But you mentioned that you grew up in this fear. And then one day, your fear turned into anger and that had a destructive effect on you.
• 23:02
  Can you share about that a little bit? And what got you from, you quote, hating yourself, which anger can do, oh my goodness, to becoming a humanitarian worker and having this capacity to love others in the way that you do so much so that you've dedicated your life to this. What happened in that transition? I think it was in your early twenties, wasn't it?
• 23:22
  Timber Cleghorn: About from yeah. From 19 through early twenties. Yeah. That's that's about when. Because all the way up to the time I was 19 there living at home, I had become such an angry person.
• 23:31
  So angry. Like, I you would not like to have met me then because living out in the woods, we would have to hunt and kill. But, man, I even took it to the extreme of just killing animals. So many animals more than just hunting and stuff because I was just so angry. And I developed one goal.
• 23:44
  When I leave here, I'm gonna join the marine corps and never look back because I'm like, if I I just come to hate the topic of god and life and myself and all so much because of just all that pressure. You asked how it turned from fear into anger. I would go back a little bit and say, if there are no answers for fear, if there is no out, and if you're entrapped in a situation, and you look up at the sky and you think of God, there's nothing I can do on earth that could appease him. Like if he's there and he hates me and there's no way out. If that's where you're at, you kind of have to become angry just to save your life.
• 24:14
  I kind of have to have a defense and a fight against that and I definitely went there with that. The same was true of my with my family. I would I would reference my relationship with my dad a bit. It was very much like that kind of him and God were kind of in the same box in my mind, ready to kill me at all times. Just loathing my existence.
• 24:30
  Right? And that that's probably my mind made a bigger deal of out of that than it had to be because I doubt you felt that way about me actually. But, you know, as a kid, sometimes you take things out of proportion. If you're trapped and there's no way out by doing the right thing, you'll become angry. You'll become angry.
• 24:44
  We need to watch this with any situation that our kids could feel trapped in. I think of that all the time. But also, it helps me to have compassion for others in war zones and there's no way out of what situation they're in. And I think there's only 2 routes you can go with this and it's and it's life and death. If you're trapped, I I saw it the first time in Ukraine in the eyes of orphans, and this was before the war.
• 25:02
  Most recently, I was back there during the war. I went on the 1st day of the invasion, and you could see the eyes of people who are trapped in a situation. And you can understand that this is only going to go 1 or 2 ways inside them. It's going to go life or death. It's gonna go light or dark.
• 25:15
  And for me, during those years, I went dark. Very, very dark. I became so angry. And that's I just ended up in such a such a bad place. I hated myself so much that I was ready to kill myself.
• 25:24
  And I contemplated it a lot, but I didn't want to do that to my other siblings. I knew that we had to stick together. It would have been hard for everybody. All of those years of anger just just got me thinking, I'm I'm such a worthless being, and why why why exist at this in this state? And it was then that one of the transformative experiences happened to me.
• 25:42
  My brother got shot. My brother just older than me, he and I were always together. We stuck together. And he left home, and he was going to college, and he was delivering pizza to try to pay for college, and he was shot by a gang. They shot him 4 times, and he miraculously lived.
• 25:55
  But I went there the next day, and I saw that street corner, and there were just all the, all the blood on that street where he had been shot almost bled to death there. And I thought, if this is the end of life, and life is this meaningless and hollow, I just knew it can't be the truth. It can't be. There's got to be more. But I would hark back to those times that I was alone in the woods and I would feel that that God was expressing to me that there's life.
• 26:17
  There's life in the woods. I've always found life there. So I leaned into that. It was a time when, a group was going to Ukraine. I've referenced this.
• 26:25
  They were going there to help orphanages and I thought this was really dumb. I was just at the time biding my time so that I could leave silently and peacefully as I could from my home environment. They were going on this trip. A lot of the kids in the group were going on this trip to help orphans. Kids from other parts of the country.
• 26:40
  And and they just invited some of us. And I threw up my hand and I said, I'll go. And I I asked myself, what am I doing? I hate this stuff. This is so dumb.
• 26:47
  They're Christians. I don't believe this stuff. But I had made a mistake by putting my hand up and I couldn't own up to it. So I went. And I just felt like I couldn't pull my hand out like something was holding my hand up.
• 26:56
  I went to Ukraine. I saw fear in the eyes of children looking at a meaningless and hollow life. A lot of these children had birth defects from the Chernobyl explosion, nuclear reactor explosion. There were other children that were just unwanted. And to be unwanted and to feel no value, to feel that you're of so little value that no one would want you, that was where I I was at.
• 27:14
  And I saw in their eyes, and I said, we are the same. And then I heard someone speaking to them and that person said, I'm here because Jesus just values you as a person, and I wanna express that to you. Jesus values what you are. He made you. And and in that child's eyes, I'm standing here to the side, aloof, angry, looking at this in that child's eyes.
• 27:33
  The fear started to go away because they they felt valued. And I said to myself, oh my gosh. Like, if this could be true, and if I've been told wrong about God, that God hates us, hates me, wouldn't value what I what I am as a creature. I'm just watching. That happened time and time again.
• 27:49
  Children would understand, and they would and they would believe these words that they'd been made on purpose. They had been crafted beautifully. It's we're we're fearfully and wonderfully made, the Bible says. And and I just began to see that. I'm like, I know about the Bible, but this is new and this is wonderful.
• 28:02
  And I would watch. And at the end of that trip, I was overwhelmed by the fact that life was there in those words. I couldn't deny it anymore. I couldn't hate it. And over the next few years, that's why I said to myself, I'm gonna run that direction.
• 28:15
  And in going that direction, I found peace for myself. I'm, like, understood that God is love. God is not hovering over me so angry that I exist, wanting to crush me. Totally believe that he's there because I've I've I've felt him. There's my baby squeaking here in the background.
• 28:29
  We're in the hospital room. So happy for this baby. It's life. Anyways, I I just I believe. And then I said, if this if this meant so much to me, I want my life to be all about this.
• 28:39
  I want to see those children who have the fear of, and no hope in their eyes of being totally unvalued. And I want to see that go away with a human being saying, I feel valuable. So I feel like my motives are all selfish. My motives are all selfish for doing this. I just I want to see that look in people's eyes.
• 28:54
  I want it I want it to be meaningful to them. And so that's why I've dedicated my life to humanitarian work. And I I try to push it. I try to go into places that are more desperate, like war zones. That's why I do conflict zone work because that's where you find people that could be truly desperate, truly asking the most hard questions.
• 29:08
  Am I am I just worthless dust trapped in a meaningless existence? Or is there something? And and there's something, and we can bring it. We can bring hope, and we can bring life by just being there, speaking a kind word, lifting them up with a strong hand. That's why I've dedicated my life that way, and I and I hope that it will be meaningful to someone in the end.
• 29:27
  Christy-Faith: Hi there, podcast family. If our episodes bring a smile to your face, challenge you, or spark your thoughts, tap that like and subscribe button to stay connected with us. Also, we'd truly love to hear your voice in the comments. Your insights and stories are what makes this community special. And not only does it allow us to hear you, but your engagement helps us reach more people and spread our message.
• 29:48
  So, go ahead and don't be shy. Like, subscribe, and comment. Oh, absolutely. As you were speaking, Timber, the word that kept coming was how god is such a redeemer. Sometimes, we don't always have the privilege of understanding why or even fully why we have to go through hard things.
• 30:09
  You have gone through tremendous loss. What I would consider is a traumatic childhood. Yeah, there were bright spots, but overall, it sounds like capital t trauma for an extent of it. I can't help but also see how much of a redeemer, if you are a faith based homeschooler listening to this or a Christian family or not, the Bible talks about how god redeems and he takes awful, awful circumstances and then turns them for good. And sometimes we don't know why everything, but I in your story, I do see that at least that one piece is I don't think you would be able to serve in these conflict zones as you do with the love and grace that you do without having your childhood experience.
• 30:54
  Would you agree with that?
• 30:55
  Timber Cleghorn: I agree 100%. That's why I look back and I'm just grateful. I've talked to other people that think I should be angry. I've been angry about it even after my transformative experience. I've looked back and I've been like, I'm mad at that.
• 31:06
  Well, I've come full circle and I'm so grateful for it because it's helped me to have compassion for those who are who are trapped and living in fear. And it's helped me to have skills. There was a lot of intense training about combat survivability and things like that in my childhood. And I it's helped me to be fit, to go into those places. I have a lot of marine buddies who are combat medics, and and we just work together really well because because we fit there.
• 31:29
  We find ourselves there when when the situation is intense. And I'm really grateful to my upbringing because of that. I'm so happy. Now the other contestants on Alone thought you were CIA.
• 31:43
  Christy-Faith: Why why is that?
• 31:44
  Timber Cleghorn: Okay. I was made aware of this right before launch. I was we're doing big interviews and and the producers, like, so what about the other contestants? We're discussing them. Everybody thinks that you're you're CIA.
• 31:54
  You're a company, man. I was like, really? Why? I think it's because I didn't speak much about what I do. I'm I'm trapped in a situation since the show came out.
• 32:02
  If I speak a lot about the humanitarian aid work, people jump on me and be like, oh, you think you're something. Well, I don't. But if I don't speak about it, I've lived a strange life and those details come out, then they think I'm CIA. So I'm I'm trapped between these two things. So there at camp, I said, I don't want my knowledge these people's knowledge of me, the other contestants, to be about this work.
• 32:20
  I'm just a human. But they had heard me speaking about, Oh, yeah. This reminds me of time there was a battle going on, and I was we were doing this. And then I had been speaking in Russian on my phone saying some of my last goodbyes before launching out into the wilderness. I'm like saying goodbye in Russian with some some friends and stuff like that and just being like, I won't be on the phone for a little while.
• 32:36
  And so it was no wonder to me that they thought that. And so I guess that's that's why perception had been built. I have to constantly fight against that perception. But it's it comes from the fact of I don't wanna just go on and on about the humanitarian work so much because I really don't think that it makes me anything.
• 32:50
  Christy-Faith: Yeah. I would be thinking the same thing. If you're on the phone speaking Russian and then talking about a battle and this and that, in the book, you go into these conflict zones and I am thinking, this is literally these are war stories. And, wow, this is absolutely incredible. So I can understand how they felt that way about you.
• 33:10
  I wanna talk about the show. Your life is just so fascinating but I know people watch the show and they wanna hear about some stuff that happened on the show. So first, you got a moose. How incredible.
• 33:21
  Timber Cleghorn: Yes.
• 33:22
  Christy-Faith: But you missed your first one. Now I don't think they said on the show that it was the same one but you've realized and you mentioned in your book that it you think it was the same one. Right?
• 33:32
  Timber Cleghorn: Definitely. Yeah. It was the same moose. There was a really distinctive tine on that moose's brow tine there, the front part of its antlers that I recognized so clearly. And when I killed it, I walked up.
• 33:41
  I'm like, I I know you're the same moose. It's funny because I I talked to god after that and I'm like, god, I don't want just a moose now. I want that moose because I felt so bad for having missed it. I'm like, I've gotta have the same moose to to right this this wrong.
• 33:53
  Christy-Faith: Yeah. Well, when you miss the first one, we watch this as a family. It airs on Thursdays where we are and we would just wait and it would be alone night for our family. And when you miss that first one because you were our favorite contestant in season 11 Yeah. We've just all just imagined us all on our couch and on the floor in our living room and we were like, oh, no.
• 34:13
  We want him to have the moose because that's he's gonna win. Wanna get into later because food does not make you win on the show. We have got to get into that. But when you got the moose, we just jumped up and were screaming like it was the Super Bowl. And I am not a hunter.
• 34:29
  Timber, you need to know, like, I'm the type of girl that if I get a bug bite, I run inside. Okay? So you're talking to I grew up in Los Angeles and now I live in the burbs. So but you got that moose with a bow and arrow because guns are not allowed on the show. Tell us a little bit about what that was like getting that moose because you I don't think you said that you have caught game that big before, and I don't think people understand that hunters would understand this, but processing that in the field is a pretty intense experience.
• 35:01
  Can you go into okay. You get this moose. Now what? What are you gonna do? Like, I can't remember exactly if it if it had been freezing yet where you could preserve it.
• 35:10
  But anyway, tell us about that because that was, like, the highlight of the entire show. Thanks for joining us for part 1. We hope you gained some valuable insights. Be sure to catch part 2 where we're gonna continue this great conversation.