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What It Means When A Narcissist Stops Reaching Out · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what it means when a
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  narcissist stops reaching out to you, when they stop reaching
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  out, when they disconnect from you, when you hear nothing else
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  from them. Like what does that mean?
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  What could it mean? You know what I mean?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. No intro.
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  We're switching it up. Y'all trying to see how y'all
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  intro? No intro.
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  There's no intro today, but yeah, it could mean a lot of
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  different things when a narcissist or a toxic person
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  decides to stop reaching out to you, when they just wait, when
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  you feel like the relationship has reached.
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  It's a it's a crescendo, right? When it's actually over and done
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  with. What the hell does it mean when
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  you no longer hear from them anymore?
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  Lee, just please tell us. Skip the skip the BS.
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  Just tell us straighter. Give it a Straight No Chaser,
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  right? It could mean a few different
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  things. Like I said, it could absolutely
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  mean that they are absolutely done with you.
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  Let's be real. I know some people don't want to
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  hear that and some people would love to hear that Some people
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  like leave. Thank God.
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  I'm happy that it means that, right that they are done with
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  you. They're completely finished with
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  you. There's there's no coming back
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  after this me and you. There's there's no me and you
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  pretty much right, So a lot of them will take it that way,
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  right? They'll just stop reaching out
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  and they'll be completely done with you.
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  You won't ever hear from you won't ever hear from him again,
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  and it might make some of y'all sad when I say that because
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  believe I'll do. Don't all narcissists Hoover
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  you? Don't all narcissists try to
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  come back? No, if you've been following me
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  for a minute in my 5. What is this 4 four and a half
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  year career, four year career on YouTube.
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  You've been following me for any amount of time.
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  You understand they like not all narcissists Hoover you.
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  Not all narcissists will try to reach out to you.
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  Not all of them with some of them will absolutely disappear
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  on you and leave you alone because they are absolutely done
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  with you. They don't want to.
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  They don't want to hear anything else from you.
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  They are finished with you. And I'm not trying to make it
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  seem like you're worthless or you don't, you're not worthy or
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  anything like that. I'm just to let you know that
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  they might be actually done with you.
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  They might actually be finished with you.
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  And it's going to suck when that happens, right?
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  It's absolutely going to suck when this happens to you because
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  you just want. You want love.
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  Let me. Yeah.
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  Let's keep it high. You want love, don't you, Lee?
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  I just want to be loved. I just want to be cared for.
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  Don't A lot of people do, right? A lot of people are.
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  A lot of people do want love. They do want to be cared about.
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  They do want to matter. At the end of the day, when I'm
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  doing my one on ones over Zoom, mental illness.net, if you're
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  still interested in those, when I'm doing my one on ones over
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  Zoom, I'll tell them to people I know.
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  You just want to matter. So sometimes they, they want you
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  to feel it. They want to punish you, right?
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  So some of them are completely done with you.
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  Others when they don't reach out to you, they want to punish you
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  because if you one of the most common terms that I hear when
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  I'm dealing with narcissist when I'm talking to people, right?
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  We were on and off for X amount of time.
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  We were on and off for two years, on and off for 10.
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  I hear on and off for 26 years. One time like we're on and off,
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  on and off, on and off. We would, we would argue, we
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  would break up. He would reach out to me and we
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  would somehow it will pick back up.
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  We will argue, fuss and fight. She would block me everywhere
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  and then she reach out to me and then we end up back together on
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  off, on, off, on, off. And that type of stuff will
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  continuously happen to so many people.
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  Like what causes the off periods?
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  That's something that you have to ask yourself right there.
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  What is causing the offs? You know what's causing the off?
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  It's on, off, on, off, on, off. What is causing the off periods?
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  Because sometimes they want you to reach out to them.
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  Yeah, sometimes they'll stop reaching out to you because they
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  want you to reach out to them. Because when you reach out to
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  them, when you commit to reaching out to them, in the
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  mind of a narcissist, toxic person, whatever, they think
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  you're OK with everything. You know what I'm saying?
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  They, they think you're OK with every single thing that has
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  happened. They think that you're OK with
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  everything that you that you have been through.
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  They think that you're fine with it and they'll continue to think
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  that you're fine with it. They'll continue to put you
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  through BS. They'll continue to put you
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  through torture. They'll continue to abuse you
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  and use you and whatnot. If you call them, if you text
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  them, if you take them back, they'll continue to do the same
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  things over and over and over again because the end of the
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  day, it benefits them greatly. It really, really does.
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  So that's something that you have to be prepared for.
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  That's something that you need to be accustomed to and whatnot.
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  You you have to, if it's on and off, it's got how, how does it
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  get off? How does it get back on?
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  Sometimes they just want to punish you by not reaching out.
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  They want to confuse you. They want to make you reach out
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  to them. This is what happens to a lot of
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  people in these situations, right?
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  So, so if you're dealing with this person, this is something
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  that you absolutely have to understand might happen.
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  They might just be punishing you because of what's happened,
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  because of what's transpired and whatnot.
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  That's what that's what goes on. That's what is still happening
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  in the mindset, in the mentality of, you know, narcissistic
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  people like, so some of them when they stop reaching out to
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  you is because they want you to reach out to them.
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  They want you to chase after them.
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  And if you chase after them, I told you, it's like you're
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  giving them exactly what they want.
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  It's like you're giving them exactly what they're chasing
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  after. It's like you're giving them
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  what they need. It's like that, that.
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  Yeah, there could be damn near a form of narcissistic supply,
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  couldn't it? Because you're chasing after
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  them and you're giving them what they want and need.
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  There could be a former narcissistic supply.
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  They like, damn, you just supplied me with the.
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  You just gave me the good stuff. This the good stuff.
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  Yeah. It's a, it's a hit right there.
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  You know what I mean? You gave them a hit.
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  So sometimes they just want, they want you to chase after
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  them because it feels good to them to be chased.
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  It feels good to them to be pursued.
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  It feels good to them for you to come after them and pursue them
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  and chase after them and what not.
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  This is the mentality of a lot of abusive, manipulative,
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  narcissistic people. It really, really is, you know,
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  So this is something that you have to think about as you're
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  moving forward. This is something that you have
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  to consider because some narcissists just stop reaching
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  out to you because they're tired.
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  They're bored. Yeah.
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  Let's be real. I'm not.
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  Let me say this right here. I'm not saying that you are a
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  boring person, right? I'm not saying that I'm not
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  saying that you yourself are a boring person.
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  What I'm saying is that narcissist, toxic people suffer
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  from chronic boredom. So because they're chronically
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  bored, they're going to try to hold you accountable for their
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  boredom. Because I'm bored, I'm going to
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  try to hold you accountable for my boredom.
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  I'm going to try to play games with you.
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  Sometimes they stop reaching out because they want to play games
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  with you. They want to mess with your
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  head. They want to get inside of your
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  head and just, let's say, just fuck with you.
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  You know what I mean? Just mess with you.
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  They do. But y'all know what's the next
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  reason I'm gonna say y'all the next reason that they will reach
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  out to you. They they, they will stop
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  reaching out to you because guess what, they got somebody
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  else. They got somebody else.
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  They have somebody else that is that is taking up their time.
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  They have somebody else that is focusing on them.
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  They have somebody else that you know that this has been this is
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  this is going down for they already have someone else.
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  They have a new supply they have of you know again when I say
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  this, Rao, it's not a disrespect towards you.
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  New supply to them could mean fun because if narcissists
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  suffer from chronic boredom, then they are looking to have
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  fun. They want fun.
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  They want to be erratic. The new supply is a clean slate
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  so they don't need to reach out to you anymore.
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  The on and off is going to stay off this time, according to
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  them, right? The on and off is going to stay
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  off because they found a new person.
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  They found somebody to occupy their time.
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  They're finding somebody that they are not bored with.
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  Again, I'm not calling you boring because I know people
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  would just like leave. Called us boring, Hurt my foot.
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  I am not calling you boring. That's not what I'm saying.
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  I'm saying that narcissistic people, as they continue to move
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  forward, as they continue to do what they're doing, they will do
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  this type of stuff to you. They will find a new supply.
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  They'll find a new supply. They'll do this, they'll do
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  that. They'll get it.
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  Get inside of your head and they'll mess with you.
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  They absolutely will. So this is something that you
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  have to consider as you're moving forward.
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  Do you want to chase after them where they have somebody else?
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  You want to get triangulated because they will triangulate
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  your ass against somebody else, right?
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  They will absolutely triangulate you with someone else if it's
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  allowed to. If they think it's OK, they're
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  going to triangulate you, they will.
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  If they feel like OK, it's cool, like the triangulation, it's
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  fine. Why don't I just triangulate
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  them? I can triangulate them anytime I
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  want to. It's fine.
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  It's cool. Whatever.
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  They're going to do it because they get a kick out of it.
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  They get on. They're going to do it because
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  they get a high from it. That's something that you have
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  to think about. You want to chase after the
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  abuser, manipulator, a toxic ass person that's going to use you
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  and mess with your head because that's what they think you're
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  going to do. That's what they think you
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  you're signing up for. If you deal with me, you're
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  signing up for this. It's kind of like you're signing
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  your name on a dotted line to be used, abused.
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  It just messed up. This is what they're going to
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  do. So they have a new supply.
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  They might cut you off, right? They might cut you off.
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  And the last reason I'll go over y'all there.
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  They might be scared that you want to expose them or reject
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  them. Narcissists don't want to be
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  rejected. Rejection breeds obsession.
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  They don't want to be rejected. They don't want to be, you know,
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  they don't want to be rejected. They don't want things to happen
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  negatively to them. So they're in these situations.
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  They're going to try to do stuff that messes with your head.
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  So they go, like I said, sometimes they want you to chase
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  after them because they have a fear of you rejecting them and
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  doing something horrible to them and messing with them.
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  So if you reject me, you're going to hurt me, you're going
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  to cause a narcissistic injury and just mess with my damn head.
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  I ain't got, I ain't got time for that.
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  I ain't got time for you to mess with my head.
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  I really don't, you know what I mean?
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  I really don't have time for you to mess with my head.
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  I just want to live. I want to be a narcissist.
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  I just want to be be in my little narcissistic Hut being
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  narcissistic and toxic to myself, right?
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  Leave me alone. Let me be toxic, but I'm just
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  telling, I say that to say this job, if you're dealing with an
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  abuser, if you're dealing with manipulator, if they stop
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  reaching out to you, you win, right?
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  There's so many people in my support group that you can find
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  at mentalillness.net. There's so many people in my
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  support group they are getting stalked right now.
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  Narcissist or toxic person, psychopath is breaking into
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  their cars, drawing shit, leaving designs, coming by their
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  office when they're at work. They won't leave them the fuck
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  alone. They don't take they don't take
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  no for an answer. They so if they stop reaching
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  out to you, you won or no. It might not feel like a victory
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  at first, but it absolutely is a victory.
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  There are people out here praying to be left alone.
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  You see what I'm saying? There are people here praying
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  that they could be let like leave shit, please let them
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  start reaching out to me. I beg, I beg, I want them to
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  find a new supply. I want them to ghost me, right,
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  right. So some people are hurt begging.
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  I'm just I'm not saying that to invalidate you.
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  I'm just saying that there are some people out here and wish
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  that we wish they were in your situation, right?
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  You know, so you have to protect yourself.
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  You have to protect your peace. And the last thing I'll say out
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  here, sometimes when a narcissist stops reaching out to
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  you is because you might have been the new supply, you might
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  have been temporary, you might have been transitional.
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  They might have a wife and kids or husband kids at home, right?
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  And they don't want you to know about it or they went back to
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  them and they've been lying the whole time.
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  So they want a clean cut from you.
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  Anyways, y'all, thanks for tuning in to the video.
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  Hit that subscribe button if you haven't already.
• 12:22
  We're starting to see a little bit more growth.
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  I appreciate y'all making to the end of the video and whatnot.
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  Let me know what you thought your thoughts about intro No
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  intro. I just I was about to say the
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  intro like let me not do that. Anyway y'all stay tuned for
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  more. Got a lot of interesting stuff
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  coming up. Mental illness is al peace.
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  What's going on? Beautiful folks.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I truly appreciate it. You have no idea.
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  If you haven't already hit that subscribe button.
• 12:47
  You made it this far, you might as well subscribe.
• 12:50
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• 12:52
  as well. Also I have coaching my courses
• 12:55
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 12:59
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around,
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  watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
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  I'm up.