Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 16: Chvrch ov the Worm Part 2: Knee Deep

Transcript

Season One, Episode 16: Chvrch ov the Worm Part 2: Knee Deep · Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast

0:00
Greetings coming, Welcome to Fly Out to the Face.
0:03
My name is Cannibal. Chris and I will be our GM as we
0:06
continue to play Church of the Worm.
0:08
This is Church of the Worm Part 2.
0:10
Hello, I am Levi. I play Pee Wee A.
0:15
Little, little bit of throw. Up in the back end here.
0:18
I was trying not to cuff. I'm Thomas and I'm playing wee
0:24
bit. I'm Kevin.
0:27
Sure are, buddy. Yeah, you are, if anyone.
0:29
He's the only my character. Died last episode.
0:32
That's. True.
0:34
I'm Todd. Word.
0:36
I lost my skin. I'm also Jake.
0:40
And Jake lost his skin, too. Oh, it's.
0:41
Been a rough. Day.
0:43
You just lost his skin today. Technically, I think.
0:46
No, it was days ago. I'm Nate and I play Screech.
0:50
Oh, that's that's good. Flailing around
1:19
so the four of you, Pee Wee, Weemut, Todd, Word and Screech
1:24
have in your possession a shit stained cultist.
1:27
As the adrenaline begins to wane, you begin to take in your
1:30
surroundings and it appears that you four are standing in the
1:32
bedroom of some middle-aged couple who lie in their bed,
1:35
blankets pulled to their necks, in fear of what they've just
1:38
witnessed. Yeah, nothing.
1:40
Nothing to see here, all right? We're just collecting this.
1:45
Is this like a cuck thing? Get the fuck out of my room.
1:52
Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah.
1:54
Let's go. Out the window.
1:56
Can we throw them out the window?
1:59
Yeah, sure. We weren't even there yet, were
2:01
we? I feel like.
2:02
Let's assume that all of you were there.
2:04
Oh God. We're all in this bedroom, let's
2:06
assume. Oh great, just for the sake of
2:09
simplicity. I climb out the window.
2:11
OK, so you guys are all this literally going out the window.
2:13
I don't belong here. I get.
2:15
It that's how it came in. There's a door, isn't there?
2:18
You guys ran into the door. No, I'm, I'm taking the.
2:21
Door What is? Happening or are we on the?
2:23
1st the 1st floor, Hey. Hey, how about we just just go?
2:28
Look brother, I'm just trying to get out of this place.
2:30
I don't belong in here with this couple and their it's sex, night
2:34
time or whatever is. Going on Don't get us on sex
2:36
night. Yeah, that's why we go out the
2:38
door. Yeah, right out this window and
2:40
I want to just throw them right out the window.
2:42
You're throwing them out the window?
2:43
Yeah. OK, give me a strength test.
2:46
We're rolling raw. Rolling raw.
2:48
Oh boy. Nice, Yikers.
2:52
I'm going to omen to reduce. Throwing this man.
2:56
He rolled an 8. Yeah, I mean that makes that
2:58
make a difference. Yeah, it's good out the window.
3:00
OK, so yeah, you using an omen to reduce you bomb rush this guy
3:04
you grabbed by the back of the collar and by the the the rope
3:07
belt around his robe and just throw him out the window.
3:10
Whoopsie donkey. Whoopsie donkey, I hate you.
3:15
Are. You.
3:17
Fucking. Kidding me?
3:18
Right now. Oh God.
3:20
This is how we came in. You hear a scuffling on the
3:23
other side of the wall. Again, this, this, this couple
3:26
in the bed looks pissed. Well, she looks scared, but he
3:29
looks angry. You hear a scuffling outside.
3:31
As you see, you can see out the window this guy getting up and
3:35
starting to buff. Yeah, we meant got to dive
3:38
through the window and try to tackle him again.
3:40
Really. OK, I feel like that's the guy.
3:42
Be an agile move. So give the agility.
3:43
I'll open up the door. Jake already went out the
3:46
window. That's fine.
3:48
I mean, I gotta feel like the door is in the other way, other
3:50
side. So you're going to be like
3:51
going? Around in the house to reduce.
3:53
Oh my. Fuck.
3:54
What is? We're blowing our load early.
3:57
Boys, because I got an 11, so effectively a 15 then.
4:03
Yeah, OK, Yep. So yeah, you dive out the window
4:07
and you grab him as he's starting to get up.
4:09
Give me a strength for that, for the grabbing itself.
4:13
Yeah, this is going to be rough. Do we need this man alive?
4:16
Yes. 17 -, 2 so 15. Fuck yeah, you got him around
4:21
the waist, got him really good. Your your finger bones locked
4:24
together. He's pretty much in a bone cage
4:26
with you hugging him like that. Yeah, yeah.
4:29
You're not going anywhere yet, Guy.
4:31
That's a good grapple. Oh my God, did everybody dip out
4:34
this window? Thanks so except for you.
4:37
I mean, OK, so. Fine.
4:38
How is it that Screech is a sensible 1?
4:42
I'll slowly, I'll slowly climb out the window behind everybody.
4:48
My compliments to the chef and I and I just dip out.
4:52
Let's casually. There was no stakes on you guys
4:55
getting through the window. No roll really necessary for
4:57
that. So the four of you then are
4:59
standing out in the alley behind this house with this cultist.
5:03
We're looking for a hideout or something, right?
5:05
Yeah. You hear as you guys are out
5:07
here, and then these alleys are really narrow, about as narrow
5:09
as this table. You guys here in the alley here,
5:12
this commotion on the other side of the wall, not the one that
5:16
you came from, but across the alley from the window you
5:19
crawled from. There we go.
5:20
And it sounds like, well, Kevin, what What do they hear?
5:24
Oh God. What it sounds like is 1/2 dead
5:29
dog that somehow magically appeared through a roof trying
5:35
to scamper in somebody's house. That sounds like a half dead dog
5:40
trying to. I can't.
5:41
I can't do it. No, you can't do that character.
5:47
Well, Will, all of a sudden you just standing there.
5:50
I was. I was trying to remember it and
5:52
also do screech at the same time.
5:54
I had to split my brain in half. It wasn't gonna happen.
5:57
And you hear somebody trying to either calm the dog down or get
6:03
ready to fucking kill the dog. So.
6:04
What does he say? Look, you can either calm the
6:07
fuck down or I'm going to fucking kill you.
6:09
Either way, something needs to fucking happen.
6:12
It's it's so quiet back here because of the commotion that
6:15
you guys have made and the fact that the walls are so goddamn
6:18
thin. You can hear most people
6:20
snoring, and you heard that clear as a fucking bell.
6:23
I'm going to look over the shoulder of the cultists that
6:26
I'm currently grappling with. Is that one of yours, Shit
6:29
eater? Now, now I I don't.
6:33
I don't recognize that. Wait, maybe it's not one of
6:36
mine. It's who I'm thinking.
6:38
Well, it doesn't matter then let's keep going.
6:39
So. What are you guys doing?
6:41
We need to interrogate this guy. I was thinking about that,
6:45
actually, and I'm glad you brought that up.
6:47
What does my sword flute thing do again?
6:49
Breeds mushroom people. No, Oh.
6:52
Animals. It's animals.
6:53
It's muscle mushroom people thing.
6:56
I don't know where it came from. There is something to do with
6:59
mushroom. No fucking way.
7:01
Yeah, with this flute swords, yeah.
7:03
Yeah, I have it written down and I gave like you.
7:06
Make some a mushroom king or some shit.
7:08
Yeah, they recognize him as royalty.
7:10
We're going to fuck this guy up. We're going to get some answers.
7:13
Fungus can be terrible. Mushroom men think you're a
7:17
prophet, sent by their God and start to follow you.
7:19
Ultimately, they want to bring you home to their muddy
7:20
mushroom. Oh, that part sounds scary.
7:25
Where the fuck are you going to run into Mushroom Men?
7:27
We're like outside and Chris. Where are we going to run into
7:30
Mushroom Men? It's a stinky.
7:31
Town. Sewers.
7:33
There could be a Mushroom Man. Fungus and there's Yeah, we got.
7:36
Shit, talking mushrooms. Right now.
7:39
This guy has shit in his teeth. All right, let me see.
7:42
Let me. I'm going to play my sword
7:44
flute. Let me see what happens at
7:45
least. Go ahead.
7:46
Wait, wait. Oh, Willy, you're going to play
7:48
the sword flute. Wait.
7:50
Before you do that, OK? Knowing what it does is
7:53
important. Holes in the grip mean you can
7:55
play it like an instrument. The lovely tunes have a two in
7:58
six chance of enchanting creatures, which just adds a + 2
8:01
to your reaction. Rule doesn't really apply here,
8:05
just starts playing. What's that gonna do that like?
8:09
You know, it's been a a long journey and I still have yet to
8:12
figure out how this thing works and I bonk them on the head.
8:14
Now tell us where you belong. Where are your people?
8:18
I don't have time for this. I need to find a way to get my
8:20
flesh back and screeches sanity. You got to try a lot harder than
8:24
that. I give me his toes.
8:27
I I. You you look like you love toes.
8:31
Todd Word. No, not me.
8:32
And I just kind of push him back a little bit, just nice and
8:35
gentle. And I grabbed this dude by the
8:37
shoulders. How many tarantulas are in the
8:40
meatloaf basket? Exactly like 47.
8:43
How many? Like, maybe, maybe, maybe only
8:46
12. Quench me.
8:48
What? You heard him.
8:49
Quench the screech. I think he wants you to spit in
8:53
his face. I slap the shit out of this guy.
8:58
I slap the shit out of this guy. Do it.
9:00
Oh yeah, and you Do you. You're just back and forth to
9:03
slap. And I'm going to sneak up next
9:05
to Screech and get a swing in myself.
9:08
Both you slapping this dude and you see like you're just a
9:11
smearing shit across his face. It's on your hand, of course,
9:14
and he's just bleeding. He's just chuckling.
9:18
Oh, you like that? I'm going to, I'm going to try.
9:21
I'm going to try tickling them. God, I see.
9:30
Screech steps back questioningly.
9:35
Kevin, you in this scenario that you know you're in, you hear all
9:40
of this on the other side of this thin ass wall.
9:43
OK, I'm going to pop my head outlook out, see what's going
9:47
on. You might keeping it down.
9:49
I've got a dog and a shitty oh, you got a cult.
9:54
Pee Wee, Is that you? Oh, you know this man, this
9:57
weird, strange Creek. In here.
9:59
Oh, how'd you find me? I seriously just opened the door
10:05
and saw your face. Everybody get grab your fucking
10:08
shitty and bring them in here. I got one in here as well.
10:11
Oh, OK. Come on, everybody.
10:14
What? Where do you know this guy from?
10:16
Oh, you know, I live here. What I'll remember I'll pick
10:20
that guy up by the neck and just start dragging him.
10:23
Come on, everybody. OK, towards wherever the hell
10:26
he's going, you drag him into this house, this, this.
10:29
Hovel. I like to think that I'm like
10:30
just dragged along behind because I still have my like,
10:34
locked around his waist. It's perfect, just not going to
10:36
let him go. That's great.
10:38
Why would you at this? Point My fingers are like
10:40
interlocked. It's going to take a little bit
10:41
of effort to kind of just. Well, you also have them tied up
10:44
with anal beads. Yeah, that wasn't enough that.
10:47
Arthritis and the bones too. Anyway, they go into this house.
10:50
What do they see, Kevin? In the house they see a very
10:53
angry slash injured dog on one side, like kind of in the in the
10:58
corner a bunch of debris from the roof falling In other side
11:02
they had. They see a cultist that is tied
11:05
and shackled to a chair with a small bird pecking at its
11:08
fucking head. And they see me, a grayish
11:16
goblin type person. Goblin.
11:20
He's goblinoid. Not another one.
11:24
Oh, he's he's a cool one. He's cool.
11:27
Right. That word means nothing in this
11:30
no. No.
11:30
Every single one I've met. I don't think I'd ever use the
11:33
term Cool. Douche at the most.
11:37
At. The most Yeah.
11:38
Yeah. I hate to admit it, but Todd
11:40
words, right? Right on, brother.
11:41
And we give each other knucks. Yep.
11:44
Finally. Free my hand up I.
11:47
Was gonna say. Did you punch the cultus in the
11:48
belly since he's? Got his hands still.
11:50
Wrapped on the. Yes, you guys usher this guy in.
11:57
You see him nod to the other cultist, Paul, Jerry, and you
12:01
see like the guy that the second one, the one that Kevin's
12:04
character who is still has not had a name yet.
12:06
He's got no teeth left. Like, clearly he's been this
12:09
blood just pouring down his mouth and dried and clearly,
12:12
whatever, What's going on here with this goblin dude, he's not
12:16
great. Probably similar to what you're
12:18
intending. The bird, too, is pecking pretty
12:21
vigorously into the side of his head, and you can see there's
12:23
there's a bloodstream stick trickling down the side where
12:25
he's clearly broke the skin. Are you collecting live teeth
12:30
again, Tommy? I know you have that fetish.
12:33
Well, yes, but not not at the moment.
12:37
The arch rogue has told me that these shitty there's worth some
12:41
cash, so I'm here to try to. You know, I'm.
12:44
Going to grab the one that we brought in and then slam him
12:47
against the fireplace and hold his head near the flames.
12:52
I am going to extract myself from the cultus.
12:57
The cultus looks a lot. Around him.
13:00
I'm going to start free in the beads off because that's mine.
13:04
Put it in a back around my pelvis.
13:06
Free in the beads. Now if you guys don't mind, I'm
13:09
going to try to either calm this fucking injured dog down or put
13:13
him down either way. And I would like to actually, as
13:16
the dog is backed in the corner, try to like calm him down.
13:19
I would like to help in that. Another one.
13:21
Give me a give me a presence test.
13:23
You said you want help with that.
13:24
Yes. OK, we'll call it a 10.
13:27
Screech. Screech likes animals.
13:28
What is Screech doing to help Screech?
13:30
Is he is a gonna? Hit him with a flail.
13:33
No, no. Sit dog down, down, boy.
13:38
Alpha magnetism thing. He is not alpha anything.
13:43
No, it's a dog thing. Oh, right, right, Screech.
13:47
Oh, right, they. Call me Beta.
13:49
He's more, I don't know. I also think it might have
13:53
something to do with like my Tarzan Ask the feral of him.
13:57
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feral boy.
13:59
I got a 14. OK, that's great.
14:01
He kind of like cowards down and licks at his paws.
14:04
He's pretty injured, see, like broken ribs and pretty beat.
14:09
What's your name? Puppy?
14:11
You can't talk I. Was about to answer.
14:16
Also, the other three of you or the four of you recognize this
14:19
dog from one of the ones in the fight in the street.
14:21
Five of us. Oh shit.
14:23
Well, he wasn't there. But there's five of us.
14:25
Who's the. Other one, Paul Troon.
14:28
Paul Troon, Yes, and that is true.
14:30
Well, he also recognizes him. Then he's pretending to sit in a
14:35
chair, too. There's no chair.
14:37
I'm going to name you Bagsy. Bagsy.
14:41
Are you hungry? You can't talk.
14:46
All right, then. I'm going to try to usher Bagsy
14:50
over and I'm going to take my tomahawk that I have and I'm
14:55
going to cut the foot off of the cultist.
14:58
Which one? Which one?
15:00
I'm going to feed it the the one I have tied up.
15:02
OK, I got you good. The one that where the where my
15:04
bird is pecking at his head. He don't deserve that, he.
15:07
Gives out a nice Wilhelm screen that you can find for free.
15:10
Camera perfect. Is there anything on this guy
15:14
that you can use to make something?
15:18
Probably just 'cause you got a bird doesn't mean that you can't
15:21
utilize anything else. You cut his foot off, right?
15:23
Yeah, I cut his foot off and I'm gonna feed it to Baggy Baggy and
15:27
I'm gonna look and I'm gonna pet him.
15:29
I'm gonna. Looks like you just took your
15:31
first step in making a friend. Suppose you're right, this gay
15:36
friend. Yeah, just one foot in front of
15:39
the other, I guess. Do you baby?
15:41
Steps if you will. The cultists laugh.
15:44
Even the one screaming. Does he have to be alive to get
15:50
the reward or just his body God? You know, the arch rogue didn't
15:54
say, I'm just going to bring the body back and if if he needs to
15:56
be alive, we'll just, I'll Well, there's another one right there.
16:00
What do you guys do with this? I was just about to put him in
16:03
the fire pit, but I've changed my mind after.
16:07
I want to while this guy's bleeding from his foot, can I
16:10
grab a random mug and fill it up with blood?
16:13
If you want, I do, yes. I want.
16:15
Didn't do I do that. Terrifying.
16:17
OK. Well, I need this for later.
16:19
Pete, we just on his on like taking a knee down by his knee,
16:22
just like it's like scooping the blood with dirt.
16:25
Yeah, it's just not. It's real gross.
16:28
It's a dirt floor in here. Chunky milk.
16:30
Straight from the tab. That's how I like it.
16:34
The other what? Are you guys doing with these
16:36
shit suckers? We're trying to find their home.
16:39
Oh. Oh, as as Todd, word is holding
16:44
him into the fire. Why did you say so?
16:49
We've been asking this whole time.
16:51
No, you didn't. You just hit me a bunch and
16:52
asked me, he said. Where the rest?
16:54
Where did you cut that guy's foot off?
16:55
And maybe I changed my mind, OK? That's a pretty good motivator.
16:59
Yeah, I'll say. I don't want.
17:01
I'll use my feet. Yeah, let me grab some of his
17:03
fingers. I want to.
17:04
I want to cut off a couple of those guys.
17:06
Can I borrow that tomahawk quick?
17:08
Which guy? Oh, the guy that's missing a.
17:11
Foot. Oh, OK, You're just going to
17:12
keep harvesting. That can do.
17:13
Oh God, so. He's alive.
17:16
Yeah, he's still alive. You.
17:18
You. Yeah.
17:19
Don't worry, we'll fix this later.
17:21
It sounds like I have very little to do with whether you're
17:24
going to live or die after this meeting, so if you could just
17:27
and I take out a scroll with a map of of where the town would
17:32
be and all the sorts of goodies hopefully.
17:34
Carrying that? Sure.
17:35
Where? Oh, yeah.
17:36
See, there you go. Sure.
17:39
I'll look for a map on the table and show it to him.
17:41
Let. Me.
17:42
Test then. God damn it.
17:44
Just trying to get a fucking God 10.
17:49
You pull this like it's a scroll of something.
17:52
You're not really sure what it is.
17:53
It's actually as you pull it in, you realize it's bloody bandages
17:56
from whatever the fuck. Draw me a fucking map to where
17:59
your friends are before you die. How about I just take you there?
18:02
No. That works.
18:04
They're going to take your fingers.
18:05
Can you survive that? Well, I don't want you to take
18:07
his fingers. Yeah, his fingers.
18:08
Oh my God, I'm slowly cutting them off.
18:11
Yes, he look doing it right now. And Paul's screaming, of course.
18:15
Of course. Well, you.
18:16
Actually, you're just going to scream out and warn your friends
18:19
as we get closer. Nah, Nah, I promise.
18:22
So you see the links that we're willing to go.
18:25
I see. You will bringing us there no
18:28
tricks. Yeah, sure.
18:29
We could. We could gag him, but I think
18:30
he's into that. A little bit, but not not doing
18:33
the most, but you don't have to. Honestly, if you're work looking
18:36
for work, we're willing to get rid of this one.
18:38
Who? Nothing.
18:39
You want me to kill him? No, not yet.
18:42
He shit. Let's go Show us where your
18:44
height out is. Yeah, let's do that.
18:46
You want to come, Tommy? Yeah, I've got nothing bad to
18:48
do. Let's go.
18:49
No good. Uncle Brass, come here and I put
18:51
my finger out for. The herd that's pecking at his
18:53
head. I got one of them too, and my my
18:58
weird eye bird flies to my shoulder.
19:01
No, that one hit the back of the head of the.
19:02
Oh shit, that's right. You killed him.
19:04
Exploded. That's.
19:05
True. Yep.
19:07
That's a good reason for you to I'm gonna make.
19:08
Some new thing I want to steal this guy's eyes too.
19:10
Oh. My God.
19:13
OK, wait a minute, wait a minute for you to make things.
19:16
Really unsettling. For you to make things though,
19:19
if you fuck up then you have to use your thing to make it like
19:22
if it's true. So so this might be helpful, but
19:26
might also be definitely yeah, you might just be holding on to
19:29
it for no reason. Just do it.
19:30
Just do it. If you take the time to make
19:32
something, because I'm going to dig through this place and find
19:33
myself a. Flag.
19:34
It's like fumble. It's an arcane catastrophe.
19:36
Yeah, but it still says I like that if you fail the role, you.
19:40
Must be, yeah. But you know, I'm I just I like.
19:44
I want to use these guys as parts.
19:46
Well, of course, I know I would too.
19:48
I am though going to look for flail while these guys are
19:52
making this decision. I'm glad you said I threw mine.
19:54
Oh, if you're looking for something else, then sure.
19:56
But yeah, when that leads you around to a different arc.
19:59
We're going to change your relics.
20:00
I think we should do that every arc that he's alive.
20:02
Why not? Right.
20:03
So this time I feel like, let's go with and this is not third
20:06
party technically. It's from Thoughts and Prayers
20:09
from Stockholm cartel. Let's use the unavailable.
20:13
Not one available. That actually is true.
20:15
The D 66 Ways to Slay Your Enemies.
20:17
Oh, and these are the things that you find.
20:19
Give me AD 66 OK 2525. The Grimmother Ailred's liaison.
20:26
The head of this Vertigree Lucerne hammer is engraved with
20:30
its name. The history of Grimmother Ailred
20:32
has been lost, but her hammer has been mentioned in several
20:34
chronicles and is still rightfully feared among Knights.
20:37
Critical hits made with this hammer liquefy any metal or
20:40
leather armor worn by the target, utterly destroying it.
20:44
So it's a Lucerne hammer, the hammer with the spear head up
20:47
and stuff. What's the damage on that boy?
20:49
Oh, that's a great question. It doesn't, actually.
20:51
I mean, what what was the damage on that weird thing?
20:54
I think wemets got it the the vulge It has that, I think.
20:58
Isn't that a similar thing? Yes.
21:00
Yeah. What's the damage on that thing?
21:01
Let's call it by hander damage, just due to the size and call it
21:05
a detail. Fuck yeah, Fuck yeah.
21:07
Because I I threw my, I threw my ball and chain thing before at
21:11
one of the dogs and then we dipped.
21:13
So I needed something new. Cool.
21:15
We've it's going to kind of scope around to see if I can
21:17
find something that I can replace my bow string.
21:20
Oh, OK Oh yeah. Oh, OK.
21:22
We can use his sinew. I knew it.
21:25
I. Can get it right now.
21:27
God. Damn, please and me.
21:29
All we gotta do is pull right here and I I wanna pull from it.
21:31
What is it? Is Achilles?
21:33
Is that is that the muscle? Actually, when you cut his foot
21:36
off, he definitely snap all the way up to his ass.
21:38
Yeah, so I'm gonna pull it out. God.
21:41
You got to reach up into his leg to get that at this point,
21:43
though. I'm going in this prison pocket.
21:45
Ohh no. You're like slicing through his
21:47
cheeks to find this fucking this is horrifying.
21:51
Screaming funny murders. Frail.
21:53
How did this? Creepy man just flips this guy
21:57
over on. And ask you questions from the
22:02
shock. As as this is going down and
22:06
stuff like we must go ahead and walk over next to the screech
22:08
and it's like you know I I've seen a lot in these last like
22:12
few weeks don't. Worry I'm getting.
22:15
There, I I don't know if maybe we might be the bad guys.
22:18
I'm almost done, don't worry. We're the bad guys.
22:22
I just got to bite it. Up I'm going to walk over and
22:24
I'm my tomahawk, also double S as a pipe.
22:26
So I'm going to strike a match and I'm going to start smoking
22:28
out of my tomahawk pipe standing next to a wee Mitt and screech.
22:34
You can't imagine what we smoked out of that thing.
22:37
How how long have you known this guy?
22:39
Too long? No, no, I wasn't talking to you.
22:43
Oh, OK Oh, me. Oh, how long have I known Pee
22:47
Wee? Far too long that I'm actually
22:53
surprised he's back with all the kidnappings that he got away
22:55
with around here. The one.
22:57
Yeah, that that's something that might have to be addressed later
23:02
too. They haven't found the bodies
23:03
yet either. I mean what?
23:05
Yeah, You're welcome. OK.
23:10
A side note, I'm playing Tommy. He's out of the Goblin Gonzo
23:16
book by Tommy Sun Zennauer. I fucking butchered that.
23:20
But the class I'm playing is the the shonky skulker.
23:22
It's the excelling and executing clandestine cloak and dagger
23:29
stuff and disappearing like the mist in the morning.
23:32
The shonky Skulker is a cunning and nimble crime ridden
23:36
snollygoster. Tommy's got connections with the
23:39
the criminal underground in in this area.
23:42
So helpful, you know, born in the, you know, lived a life in
23:46
the slums, you know, got his ass kicked until he made his way up
23:49
in the the criminal underbelly of Schleswig.
23:53
Born in the Schleswig. Die in the Schleswig.
23:56
Let's. Slash big out of here.
23:59
Let's. I give, I give.
24:02
We met the sinew from this guy's hamstrings.
24:05
You know what? That was so stupid.
24:06
I'll do it. Thanks.
24:09
Oh, you're welcome. You gotta drive that shirt
24:10
first, I think. I'm going to look at We met.
24:15
I might may know a guy who could actually fix that for you.
24:17
I'm. A taxidermy.
24:19
Legit I have. Two.
24:20
That'd be wonderful. I got you.
24:22
I'll save this one for later. Just.
24:26
Yeah, I snort it. Yeah.
24:30
Oh, it's. Ready.
24:32
Everybody is so fucked. Yeah, you guys can't wait for a
24:37
TPK. I'm starting to believe that I
24:39
am a cursed person. Oh, I'd say so just.
24:42
In the starting now you're realizing that.
24:44
Yes, yes. No, I'm cursed.
24:46
Like it seems like more companions.
24:49
I lose. The worst.
24:51
People show up. Just wait till the next one.
24:54
Yeah we did. We cycling them through them
24:55
pretty, pretty, pretty poorly. They're really getting bad.
25:00
Speak for yourself that's actually a great point.
25:03
Screech is fucking phenomenal. So.
25:06
So I guess it's a we we we heading out to we had we going.
25:10
Yes. OK, I just grabbed him by the
25:12
collar. Yeah, drag him around.
25:14
The cesspit is just South of town, but we take him right
25:17
before us, coming soon to Kickstarter.
25:42
An ancient forest, An ensemble of lost souls.
25:46
A spiteful curse. This place has been desecrated
25:54
10 new classes, even more cursed relics, a forest hex crawl,
26:00
hordes of withered creatures, and much more.
26:25
Welcome back to play under the face.
26:29
It's getting, It's getting more painful, Guys.
26:31
That's. OK, keep doing that, so.
26:34
This shit eating son of a bitch LED you guys out of town to the
26:40
cesspits and. Before we go out of town, yes.
26:43
Can I Can I take Weemit's crossbow?
26:48
Scalling Friend, let me take your crossbow and see what I can
26:51
do for you before we get out of town.
26:53
It's going to be easier if you just call me Weemit and I'll
26:57
follow you wherever you're going to take this thing too.
27:01
Scale your friend. Let's go.
27:04
There's two. Of them.
27:05
Now there's two of them. That way I don't have to
27:07
remember that many names. Is there somebody that I can
27:10
talk to in the little underground Schleswig there
27:13
where I can get this thing repaired on the quick before we
27:15
get out of town? Of course there is.
27:17
You know, things with this, with the arch rogue that it is.
27:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you definitely know people.
27:24
And you know, the guy in Knight Soil Street is there actually
27:27
like a check you have to make to determine things like that
27:29
before we go. Ahead and do a knowledge.
27:31
It just says it's. Running.
27:34
Part of the fucking abilities I have.
27:36
Yeah, yeah, I read it earlier. I just don't remember if there
27:38
was a a check involved. A test involved at all does not
27:40
OK. No, no test.
27:41
OK, so yeah, you you know, a guy.
27:43
He's he's a fixer of sorts. You can bring whatever to him.
27:47
And then you want to deal with Blacksmith and the the King's
27:50
registry of whatever the fuck happens all the time.
27:53
Either way you take it to him, he restrings you a new crossbow
27:58
string with stuff he's got on hand, because he does this kind
28:02
of stuff, an actual crossbow string, which I gotta imagine is
28:04
like what? Some kind of what?
28:06
A Cool. Companion piece that would have
28:07
been been the hamstring crossbow.
28:10
It's not a terrible idea. It could just be this
28:11
blacksmith. What do you have to?
28:12
Offer is Is there any chance he could throw in some extra bolts
28:15
there too? Hey the man, you can get
28:17
whatever the fuck you want. All right, I I look at like the
28:21
beads that are rested in my pelvis.
28:24
Little little short on change at the moment.
28:27
All right. You owe me, though, and we'll
28:30
get the bolts. Yeah, that's fine.
28:32
Take a a tenor tenor, actually. Wait, there's a roll for that.
28:35
That's a lot. Is it a roll?
28:37
It actually is a roll. Oh God.
28:39
I mean, the kind of is, but we can make it 1 because it kind of
28:41
already bakes it in. OK, so give with your presence
28:44
we met. Presence is 0.
28:46
OK, so 10 bolts, Yeah, say presence.
28:49
Plus 10 still the same. And you finally do leave town.
28:55
You head South, just short outside of town, to this
28:57
cesspits. Standing there, staying.
28:59
It's essentially it's a giant. It looks like a giant mud
29:02
puddle. I kick him in it.
29:04
He doesn't splashes into it and you hear him sputtering.
29:08
Ah, that's a good step. He kind of pops up and he's just
29:12
shit caked. It's clearly shit.
29:15
It's down here below. Why?
29:18
How? Give me a detail.
29:20
Ow. Just sink in.
29:22
I'll do it. Enjoy the ride.
29:24
I don't want to roll. A5.
29:27
Stupid toilet. Jacuzzi is A5 good.
29:29
There is a ton of like clothing around here, as almost as if
29:34
people have taken their clothes off and great.
29:36
Like if you called, you know if it was like a if it was a hot
29:39
spring, you would see the same thing.
29:40
However, these clothes, yeah right, Except for these clothes
29:43
are shit stained naturally very and there's like castings
29:47
everywhere. Like shit cocoons, yes.
29:50
Oh, no. Oh no.
29:53
The fuck. Yeah, what is that rimming this
29:56
thing like salt on the glass? I guess we're going for a dive,
29:59
boys. I stripped down to my skibbies.
30:02
I'm going to watch him get in first.
30:03
You're literally just going in underwear, nothing else.
30:06
Who says I'm wearing underwear? I dive in.
30:08
Skibbies. I dive in.
30:11
All I got is my cane. Here we go.
30:13
All you have is my cane. All I got is my cane diving in.
30:15
You dive in and you guys see it splash, of course, and you guys
30:19
probably get splash on, yeah. And it's like, you know, it's as
30:25
if he didn't surface because he didn't surface.
30:29
And then I come back up. No.
30:31
Oh, can I come back up for the humor of it?
30:34
No. No, the water's fine.
30:36
You feel? Actually, we'll go.
30:39
We'll cut there. To the people above.
30:42
He doesn't surface. Fuck.
30:44
What? Look over at this.
30:47
This shit's look. Over at like a shit cultist?
30:49
Like, is that the way to go? That's the way to go, my man.
30:53
And he just like, like Swan dives like, like leans back,
30:57
arms spread out, and then just splash.
30:59
And you see him not surface as well.
31:03
I'm going to take my smoking jacket off and fold it neatly
31:07
and place it on a rock elsewhere, grab my sword that I
31:11
don't know how to use, and then make a beautiful dive into the
31:16
middle of this thing. I'm going.
31:19
To just I'm going for it. OK.
31:21
Yeah, you. He does the triple from.
31:25
Sword first. Yep.
31:26
You go in there you you dive in majestically.
31:29
Skeleton with a pink sword. No.
31:31
Splash. No.
31:32
Yeah, no splash. He was a perfect injury.
31:35
No one gets splashed and. Let him roll for that.
31:38
Agility. God damn it, I almost got away
31:41
with. It you almost did. 18.
31:44
OK, that's good. Lovely.
31:45
Yeah. Right.
31:46
Open. What about the rest of you?
31:51
We've been seeing that is actually going to go over and
31:54
collect the smoking jacket, OK? And then like flare it out, kind
31:58
of like a a a rug. You just on the edge and then
32:02
like stand on it and then use it as his diving platform and jump
32:06
in. OK.
32:07
And you jump in and yeah, he doesn't surface.
32:09
I'll just stand in there outside of this pit.
32:11
Now what's? The MIME do.
32:13
The mime. The mime.
32:14
He's looking and he's like, he's got this like really skeptical
32:18
look. He's watching Submarine and
32:20
yeah, John Periscope really untouched.
32:27
The topic comes out on the other side.
32:29
No, he just looks at Screech and Tommy, the last two standing
32:33
there. Screech is just nodding.
32:35
He's scared. He's nodding the other way as a
32:38
no and also quite scared. Concerned.
32:42
More so I pick up Todd Words jacket and fold it up neatly and
32:45
then just drop it into the ship and and I slowly like it's cold
32:53
water like. Yeah.
32:56
It's warm. It's real warm.
32:58
It makes it more. It's so warm.
33:02
It's so warm. It's body temperature warm.
33:06
Just wades in kind of slowly you do and eventually you're waiting
33:10
in and you feel the bottom as you're doing it.
33:12
And then eventually you just feel the bottom drop out and
33:15
just gone. What about Tommy standing there
33:18
alone? He's going to turn around and
33:20
walk away. I don't.
33:22
Blame him. If I saw all my friends like
33:25
walk into a fucking smile, I'd be like, Nah, the.
33:28
Only person I know is is a Pee wee and that's kind of creep.
33:32
He was the 1st to go in though too, very very very confidently.
33:36
I'm going to take Uncle Raz off my shoulder and be like, go back
33:40
to the Ork Rogue. I'll be back in a bit and I'm
33:45
just going to take a few steps back.
33:49
This is a bad idea and I'm gonna run and just feet first.
33:53
Cannonball yourself. Yeah, like it.
33:56
And yeah, you disappear as well. So all of you guys, as you guys
34:00
sink into the shit, literally it sticks to your clothes, the
34:04
skin, and you go up your nose and your mouth all around you
34:07
and build squirming worms and rising maggots also seem to
34:12
welcome you through this mess. Every single person test
34:17
toughness. I'm dead.
34:18
I'm instantly dead. Or become infected and have your
34:24
toughness reduced by D. Three.
34:25
I'm a skeleton. If this reduces your toughness
34:28
below -3, you suffocate and die. Holy fuck.
34:32
So dead with another one of those, like these two roles.
34:35
Could kill you. I'm literally so.
34:37
What's the second role? It's it's it's how much your
34:40
toughness is reduced. So let's just go around the
34:43
horn, Levi. Pee Wee Can this Affect us?
34:46
Oh boy. Kelly's.
34:47
Yeah, you know what? You know what?
34:48
No, we cannot. It cannot.
34:50
Wait, I approached the bench. We're so dead.
34:52
Shut your mouth, Jake. I have one question.
34:56
What So? Dead.
34:57
I have one question. And I will.
34:59
I will leave it up to democracy to decide because I don't want
35:02
to get shot tonight is this magical shit.
35:06
No, it's shit. Shit.
35:07
OK, OK. OK.
35:08
That's done Beach. Shit.
35:09
Alright, alright. I get what you're saying though.
35:11
Can I lawyer so dead brother? Since I'm familiar with Slush
35:14
rig and I've been all around this joint?
35:16
No, I am familiar with this cesspool.
35:21
Maybe I've been here before can. I I doubt you've been in it.
35:24
Maybe you don't. You don't know where do where
35:27
else do I hide the bodies? Do you hide the bodies in this
35:30
aspect? Is what you did.
35:33
There's been more than one. OK, so so your familiarity with
35:37
this, I don't. I like where you're going with
35:39
that. I will say it's a toughness.
35:41
DR16, no fucking. It is my default.
35:46
However, because he's a local and like I got to imagine
35:50
certain things in your local area, you're kind of the name to
35:53
it, right? I would say that because of the
35:55
locality of you guys being slush, diggy and.
35:57
Me and Tommy. Yes, you and Tommy both loves.
35:59
That's a 14, not a 16. I'm so fucked.
36:01
You're OK. I'm dead.
36:03
I'm absolutely. Dead.
36:05
What is that? It's a 13 on the dive, but
36:07
what's your toughness? 0.
36:10
Zero what is OK, so give me AD 3.
36:13
I should have saved it. I should have saved it.
36:15
Do you want to omen it? You have.
36:16
It has been a long day last. I have no omens either.
36:20
I can't remember. Do I have an omen?
36:21
I don't know do. You.
36:22
No. None of us do.
36:23
No. No, I used it during that stupid
36:25
fucking fight with the dogs, didn't I?
36:27
Back up. Flute.
36:28
That's perfect actually. All right, what do I do now?
36:30
You. Need AD three?
36:32
If you roll A3 on this, you die. That's true.
36:35
Actually know if it goes below -3?
36:38
Below -3, yeah, he can die from it.
36:40
But it can be a weak boy. That's A2.
36:42
Fucking God that's a 21AD3. So it goes down to -2.
36:45
Holy fuck yeah I'm so toughness is now negative.
36:49
So fucking dead. Next up, Todd word.
36:52
Give me that toughness test. He doesn't need it.
36:54
He's just never mind. We covered this.
36:56
You're right for. How long for?
36:58
How long is it -2? That's permanent.
37:00
That's just permanent. That's just.
37:01
Permanent. Oh, just like the Lighthouse
37:03
upgrade. Kinda is, yeah.
37:05
OK, I'm in. Screech, you're next.
37:06
Oh fuck. I'm so dead.
37:08
I can't believe, of all things, that could fucking kill me.
37:11
Jake all. Things I'm right with?
37:13
You dog I'm right with. I'm dead here.
37:16
You might not be. What's your documents?
37:17
-1 Negative one? No could die.
37:19
You could die. It is possible.
37:22
I'm sending you good vibes. Yeah, yeah, that's going to make
37:24
it work. How many omens are among the
37:25
party? Grandmother.
37:26
Hero. Hero.
37:27
There isn't a single. Tommy the.
37:29
New guy. Tommy's got three.
37:32
He doesn't have to use them on you, but he could.
37:36
That's a 13, isn't it? It's a 13.
37:38
I'll use an omen. You're going to use them to
37:40
reduce. You're going to use it to
37:41
reduce. I will use it to reduce.
37:43
Oh, my. Fucking right.
37:44
There we go. So that you could reduce.
37:47
I love it. I'm shaking.
37:49
We met. You are Skeleton.
37:52
Exactly. You're exempt, Tommy.
37:55
You are a Dr. 14. I rolled A10.
37:59
A total. Yeah, because I have 0 and
38:01
Toughness and I've already used an Omen on Screech, right?
38:04
That's a separate role. That was his role.
38:06
Yes, exactly. That's a different role.
38:07
Well, I'm going to fucking lower that.
38:08
You do it. You do it. 1 Omen left.
38:10
Lower it to succeed so the only person who actually got
38:12
infected, You're infected too. By the way, Pee Wee.
38:14
I'm so dead. Is you?
38:15
Yes. We can't cure that.
38:17
We're still in. Town can't Can I retroactively
38:19
use my last omen for fucking Pee Wee?
38:21
I don't see why not. Yeah, I love you.
38:25
What did you roll again? If he had, if.
38:29
He would have been able to. He just.
38:31
Needed a He would have made it. He would have made it.
38:33
OK, that's all I'm asking for. OK, wonderful.
38:35
So, yeah, perfect. Nobody got that.
38:38
So mercifully, the excrement filled entrance emerges into an
38:42
air filled tunnel. It's far from fresh, but at
38:45
least it isn't slurry. A network of tunnels extends
38:49
before you worming their way into the earth.
38:51
They are ribbed and sticky. There's no clear way ahead.
38:55
What choice do you have What to crawl on?
38:58
I'd pick up my fucking jacket that I found.
39:02
I'm upsetted that it's covered in shit.
39:04
I'll put that back on. Actually, you know that slipped
39:07
through this and landed on the ground in this thing, and then
39:10
the very last thing slipped through.
39:11
The Sound of. That jacket's right on top.
39:13
It's not coming down the. Jacket did.
39:16
And as you guys like, get your bearings and get up and
39:18
everything at that, then the jacket slips through and then
39:20
just slap on top of toddward. I hate all of you.
39:23
I wanted one thing to be left precious to me.
39:26
What did I do? Wasn't that your armor though?
39:28
It was. I don't care.
39:30
This is important. You're all mostly naked and
39:33
completely like. I'm.
39:35
Almost always. Mostly naked I'm.
39:37
Literally. Managed to make sure that you
39:39
stayed warm down here. I'm going to flick out my jacket
39:43
like a rug. And.
39:45
Shoot shit at the whole group. So stained.
39:47
And then throw it back on me. Had jokes on you?
39:50
We're covered in shit already. Oh shit.
39:53
Brushing my face off. Did anyone else get?
39:56
All right, where's the cultist? We're losing track of what we're
39:58
doing here. The cultist is nowhere to be
40:01
seen. Fucking God damn it.
40:04
But you hear through the that membrane of shit.
40:08
You hear a faint Dawn bell. Oh fuck, is that?
40:14
Is that what I think it is? It might be somebody, anybody.
40:17
Jake, give me V12. OK, what's what's 9?
40:21
Nothing. It's not a it's not a misery.
40:23
That's what it is all. Right.
40:25
Is it in? My life.
40:27
Yep, that's the way we get our omens back.
40:28
It does. Oh my God, what made me think it
40:31
was that you guys were all talking about your drained omens
40:33
And then you being like, it's been a long time, like it has
40:35
been a long night. You guys got this less big at
40:37
night. That's true.
40:38
So, like this was the wee hours of the night.
40:40
You. Got the sphincter must have been
40:42
in like a. Sleep.
40:43
No, it just has taken time. Thank you for being on.
40:46
The merciless I am dead. No, I too.
40:50
I think in your in your situation, it's merciless.
40:53
Yeah, right, 'cause you don't. You have one HP, so you don't
40:56
heal, but you're infected, so you take damage.
41:00
Oh, that's. True.
41:01
It just happened. Maybe you don't rest.
41:03
We're not resting though, so it's not going to happen till
41:05
you rest, even though that would, I guess.
41:06
But still, I like the idea of it being on a rest, 'cause I I
41:10
have, I have the moment where you're like, I don't know if I
41:13
can survive this rest. So you like, stave it off a
41:15
little bit, You know what I mean?
41:16
Fuck that duck. So yeah, everybody reroll your
41:18
omens if you have no more powers per day.
41:21
Roll. Actually all roll those anyway
41:23
if you need them. Some people just don't need
41:24
those, you know, some classes. Nobody has scrolls anyway.
41:28
So yeah, any time that there's a scroll in here, I'm still going
41:31
to keep it in. It's just being kind of a null.
41:32
I got two baby. Nice omens are going to save
41:35
your life. I got 4 omens now.
41:38
I have 4 omens as well. Because.
41:40
My class gives me D6 omens. That's that's pretty good.
41:44
What about you there, Toddy? Toddy Dos?
41:47
Very good. Everybody's set then.
41:49
Yeah, let's. Thomas, Thomas.
41:51
Give me AD 8. Oh boy.
41:53
Or wise. Actually, give me AD four first.
41:56
Jesus, we'll take your DA too. God, I swear to God if we have
41:59
to fight giant ringworms. They rule the four on the D4, OK
42:03
and A7 on the D8. OK, so the the tunnel around you
42:08
is completely dripping with slime and it's like, it's not
42:11
entirely shit. There's other slime too, which
42:14
is not really the most Did we crawl into a butthole?
42:20
Who's shitting in a butthole? Dude.
42:23
No. Shit, where's the?
42:24
Where's the like? Like the butt, the the sphincter
42:27
itself is the portal. Like the method of school bus.
42:30
So they go in the wrong end of the body, yeah.
42:32
So it's like we're inside the butthole of an inter dimensional
42:36
being. That's my theory, right?
42:37
Very possibly. God damn it, who picked this
42:39
adventure? You did, Kevin.
42:42
Give me AD 10. OK Mr. Adventure Picker. 9. 9 So
42:50
as you guys are standing here, you realize that like you guys
42:54
haven't really changed eye level to each other.
42:55
It's always been what it has been and you guys realize that
42:59
the the tunnel around you guys is rising.
43:02
And as you realize why, you realize that you guys are like
43:04
knee deep at this point in quite.
43:06
Sand. It's going to have a bowel
43:08
movement. We need to move fast, fast,
43:09
fast. So this is in mechanics here
43:13
this this is worded very angrily.
43:16
It says agility or fall in and drown.
43:20
In the diarrhea in. In this quicksand Jesus.
43:23
Christ, I'm so dead is. Is that just like a single one
43:26
of those? Death sounds like it.
43:28
It does sound like it. Agility.
43:30
Huh. So everybody.
43:32
It's for the people that don't breathe.
43:34
I feel like they can't possibly drown, but you probably can't
43:37
get out. You won't be able to get out if
43:39
they won't feel my God. Cemented and shit.
43:41
I guess it's a very quick sandy shit.
43:44
Yeah, that's I Am The Corn. You Are the Corn.
43:51
Is this episode called We Are the Corn?
43:53
11:00 I'm going to go ahead and use one of these omens.
43:55
OK, OK, reduce the Dr. for that is just a 12 of course, since it
43:59
wasn't stated. I I need to use an omen to
44:02
reroll reduce. The beauty of me giving you guys
44:05
omens right away, right? What is that?
44:07
Oh no, We buy no Kiwi. You guys noticed?
44:11
A -2. Dudes, what is it?
44:15
As you guys are scrambling in this again out, you notice that
44:17
Pee Wee is like pretty much just his head space crowning like
44:21
he's got his head back because if he didn't, he would be
44:23
drowning Todd Word, give me that agility.
44:26
Even though you're a skeleton, you can still sink into it.
44:28
Well, I got an 8 on the dice. So are you going to omen to
44:33
reduce? Oh, I think so.
44:35
Yeah. Or die.
44:36
Yeah, or die. I mean, I.
44:37
Would like to reduce. OK, very good.
44:39
Yeah. Todd Word manages to grab the
44:41
ribbing of this. I help him out.
44:44
You got. I got a 17.
44:45
Oh, wonderful. Yeah.
44:46
You 2 together. Get yourselves out of here.
44:48
We met. Get that agility.
44:49
Yeah, I had to. I had to open to.
44:51
Reduce OK, so you get out as. Well, I I just grabbed on to
44:56
Todd Word's pelvis as Screech was taking him along.
44:59
Oh, so we're making a train. I'm going to grab onto Pee Wee's
45:02
face. Would you call it the bone
45:03
train? No.
45:08
You wouldn't. I know about Tommy here before
45:11
we get to the PB grabbing face. PB face grabbing.
45:13
I got a 14 on the diet, so that's 15.
45:16
You're great. OK, so you call out.
45:17
I'll see. You in the next life.
45:19
You're grabbing his face. I take my 2 Bony fingers and
45:22
then slip him into his nostrils. OK, I got to imagine pulling a
45:28
man by his nostrils out of clicksand for his horse.
45:32
Going. To grab I don't blame you.
45:34
I don't blame you reaching. I'm gonna call that.
45:37
It's not almost impossible. I'm gonna call this 16.
45:39
You want to help? Slip some fingers into his.
45:42
They're all helping. We're.
45:44
A bone. We're a bone.
45:44
Train. We'll call that a standard
45:45
strength test, yeah. His fingers go into my sinus
45:49
cavity and he's. Like in there.
45:51
He's in there like a COVID. Get a little jiggle.
45:52
He's past. He's past the fucking diaphragm
45:56
or whatever. I'll use my omen to help you
46:00
succeed. Hey, it's a separate role.
46:01
It's. Fine, go go ahead.
46:02
I ain't rolling it though. No, no, it's intercede, you'd
46:05
reduce. Yeah, okay.
46:07
Perfect. So yeah, you pull this ship
46:09
covered Danny DeVito out of the water, out of the quicksand,
46:13
rather. And you guys sit there on the
46:16
edge of this quicksand pool, just shit covered panting.
46:19
I always saw this dude is like a really skinny Doc Brown.
46:23
He's a skinny. Oh really?
46:24
Yeah, Danny DeVito again. For some reason I was like,
46:27
especially how he's naked. That voice, that voice
46:29
specifically gives me like this. Dude's 98 lbs.
46:33
And as you guys 62, catching your breath from this, the
46:36
above, in that little hole above you used to see a pair of shoes
46:40
that look very familiar. Paul Troon is being, like,
46:43
squeezed out. You just like you see him land
46:47
in the quicksand, just direct me down into it and then he's just
46:49
like he says he's never so sink in it and he just gives you this
46:52
whole like going down with this ship and pantomime.
46:58
I'll, I'll reach my, my, my stick thing out.
47:02
What the fuck was it? That some kind of weird hammer
47:04
thing? Yeah, whatever.
47:06
I'll reach it out to him to try. And OK, we'll call that.
47:08
It's one because he's not that far in.
47:10
Oh, that's wonderful. He grabs the other end of it.
47:16
And he's like the suction on this quicksand is apparently
47:19
stronger than your grip because it's starting to pull like the
47:22
handle through your hands. At what end are you holding?
47:24
Are you holding the blade end or the OR the.
47:26
I mean, I felt like that was the most realistic thing you hold on
47:30
to. But like the blade is starting
47:32
to, like, slide to your hands. You realize that he's starting
47:34
to like kind of go down with it. You see, he's not doing anything
47:37
more than holding on to it. He's he's kind of being useless.
47:39
It's not typical, not untypical Pultroon.
47:42
Leave him screech. Screech.
47:44
The man's of mystery. He'll.
47:45
It's pretty much. Somewhere else?
47:47
It's pretty much let go and lose Pultroon, or hold on and take
47:51
damage as it slices through your hands.
47:53
Oh God. Oh, the full damage.
47:56
Paltroon, hand me your sword and no, I'll give you help.
47:59
Give you help. Can I do?
48:01
That which version Make sure I keep my weapon.
48:05
Bye bye, Beltroon. Because I care about that more.
48:09
A strength test, a successful strength test.
48:12
Standard 12O. Wonderful.
48:13
Keep your grip on it. I take.
48:16
My. I take my smoking jacket off and
48:19
I take the the belt piece and tie it to one of the sleeves.
48:22
I'm going to use it like a fucking lasso.
48:25
Agility test OK. Give it to me, all right.
48:29
I mean. What's a 14 give me.
48:30
A 14 gives you a successful lassoed mine you got around his
48:37
neck too and bulky is like he's got this look of concern, like
48:39
what's going to happen is going to hurt.
48:41
I wink at him, and I yank. His eyes get large and then his
48:45
neck snaps. You yanked.
48:47
Just a quick little. Yeah, that's exactly good.
48:50
OK. I like the idea of strength
48:51
testing this. If it's yeah.
48:56
Do I have my weapon? Yes.
48:59
Why 9? Nine, you do that and you just
49:01
hear it crack. And then you see his body kind
49:04
of go limp. Well, he takes your smoking and
49:08
then the grave with the Yeah, yeah, you see him just sinking
49:11
and I can't just. Take the body.
49:13
Drag his dead. Body OK you do you drag his body
49:16
out by the neck and he just laying there limp with that?
49:18
He looks, he looks dead. That's unfortunate.
49:21
I'm going to take my smoking jacket, put it back on and then
49:23
go through his pockets. He's got that crazy sword.
49:26
Don't. Grab that sword.
49:27
So yeah, he's laying there dead on the ground and you're like
49:29
immediately, Like, alright, well, I'm just gonna dig his
49:31
pockets and as soon as you do, he grabs your wrist.
49:35
He shakes the head. No.
49:37
Ohh shit, you're still alive. And then he gets up and does a
49:40
little the tada. He's a he's a mime.
49:46
He's going to play dead, isn't it?
49:47
He's just like, wait, no. I'm not going to lie, Paul Trim
49:50
That's fucking got me. He bows and curtsies at the same
49:54
time for. Work after this I I might have
49:57
something for you. He offers that no, no, no.
50:00
Right, right. I understand.
50:01
I understand. My schedule's pretty full too.
50:03
Pretty full. Too.
50:04
So what do you guys do? Is there any sign of where these
50:07
cultists, or where that cultists ran off to?
50:09
You look both directions because it's kind of a left or right
50:13
kind of thing at the moment or this way or that way, you know?
50:16
And yeah, there isn't nothing. Are we looking down a branch?
50:20
You you seem to be. OK, left.
50:23
Go. Yeah.
50:24
OK, so give me, give me a presence test.
50:27
Dr. 16. 17. 17 Fuck yeah. So you kind of know where you're
50:31
going to for transparency's sake.
50:33
It says test presence DR16 to navigate the tunnels.
50:36
If you succeed, reduce the number by two and that number.
50:39
And when I had you make AD 4, Thomas, I said you must.
50:42
It says you must traverse D 4 + 2 tunnels before you reach your
50:45
destination. So it's a matter of just like
50:46
rolling a few times on this table is that he rolled the four
50:49
on that, so that was six. You succeeded that.
50:51
So reducing it by two, we're going to do that four times,
50:54
this quicksand incident being the first one.
50:56
So. Why are we down here again?
50:59
We're here to find the shit called this.
51:02
To be honest, everything's been rotting my brain away, so I'm
51:05
right now. It's the thrill of being inside
51:08
this lovely place and my fucking neck twitches and my it kind of
51:13
snaps to the side a little. Bit like you're a.
51:16
Terrible actor. I I don't believe you for a
51:18
minute. Yes, I need flesh to act.
51:21
I can't convey motions. Or if I quit, I'm done.
51:25
I'm done and I'm going to start walking down another fucking
51:28
sphincter to a whole tunnel. OK, give me the I'll.
51:31
I'll follow behind him and I'm just muttering.
51:33
I'm like real actor, doesn't even really need skin though
51:37
convey. You wouldn't.
51:39
No, no, no. So what's talking to you?
51:42
Give me. You give me you.
51:44
We'll go screech. Give me AD 10 Codword, give me
51:47
AD 8 and we might give me AD 1099.
51:53
You find as you guys move on, there's detritus around here.
51:57
You know, various things that aren't even, like, noticeable.
52:00
But you find as you guys leave this quicksand area, the worm
52:03
silk tapestry worth. Give me AD 10/8 worth 8 silver.
52:10
It's only slightly shit stained, so wow, it's less shit stained
52:15
than me, yes. Only slightly.
52:17
Don't know how you're going to get that.
52:18
Out of here. How you going to wear it?
52:20
That's fair. Actually, I think you you
52:21
picking it up probably made it more shit stained.
52:25
So Jake, what did you get for that D833?
52:30
The the tunnel in front of you is cavernous and ribbed for his
52:34
pleasure. And it feels, it feels familiar
52:37
to those of you that were in Doomkirk, in the way that the
52:40
tunnels there were ribbed from the worm.
52:42
And honestly, for those of you that were in that, which I feel
52:45
like it's barely anyone between the two.
52:46
I I think that's. Just me at this point.
52:48
Yeah, that's right. Yep, yeah, that's where.
52:50
You met him. It the size, the ribbing.
52:53
It feels like malware. It feels like that, that that
52:57
tunnel. Thomas, what did you get on that
52:58
D10? I got a 2.
53:00
A2 You unfortunately, as you guys continue on, realize that
53:05
this is completely empty. Its tunnel.
53:08
Pee Wee, give Me AD 10. Oh jeez, do I find Trousers 1?
53:15
No, nothing. Trousers.
53:19
So moving on then you continue on.
53:21
Let's go. Kevin gives me AD 8.
53:24
OK, it's 4. For this tunnel that you guys
53:29
find yourself kind of just veering down, you guys are don't
53:31
know where you're going. You're just kind of maybe this
53:33
way, maybe this you keep going left.
53:35
Though I'm stressed out. Right.
53:37
I'm just. I'm just rampaging through.
53:39
Just going, going, just just going forward, just going
53:42
somewhere, this one. 'S.
53:45
Yep. Is there a light source?
53:47
There is just there. There's OK, so that great point,
53:50
we haven't covered that yet. It is dark in here, but there's
53:53
like a weird ambient like there's.
53:56
Like there's methane torches everywhere.
54:00
Or just assume that there was like glowing mushrooms of some
54:03
sort. That worked perfectly.
54:04
See. Like the slime when you guys
54:05
first got here does it really great.
54:08
Point this one, though, as you guys veer off and continue, this
54:11
cavern is slowly pulsating like you're inside we're.
54:15
Getting close to the prostate. I need some of these mushrooms.
54:22
Do you? We're doing reading that.
54:24
Yeah. So go ahead.
54:25
OK, Grab them. OK.
54:26
I want to try my sword again too.
54:30
What? What do you mean you want the?
54:30
Mushroom King I want to be the Mushroom King.
54:35
Actually, I think that works kind of innately.
54:36
You've said you've you've said too much about mushrooms to
54:40
these two mushroom guys. Screech, give me AD 10.
54:46
OK, 8:00 and 8:00, You in this slowly pulsing tunnel and you
54:54
realize why it's slowly pulsing as you continue through it.
54:58
It's just a rising mass of worms just kind of completely covering
55:03
every surface on the interior of this tunnel.
55:07
But somebody, anybody, give me AD 10, Kevin.
55:10
Sure, yes 6. You find some gear, like some
55:16
stuff in amongst these worms. It's kind of hard to tell, but
55:18
you saw the glint of metal off of the glow of your mushrooms in
55:22
amongst these worms. And you find some something,
55:25
some some filth stained gear. It just says gear, but we'll
55:28
have you roll to determine what that gear is.
55:30
Oh God, here's how I'm going to do that.
55:32
I'm going to go D4. On A1, it's a weapon.
55:36
On A2, it's armor. On a three or four, it's just
55:38
random equipment. So who rolled that D 10?
55:41
That was you, Kevin. Yeah.
55:42
Continue on, continue on D4. That's a.
55:45
Three. That's a three.
55:46
So that's some random equipment. Give me AD 3D3, OK?
55:52
It's a 3. It's a three, so that's a OK, so
55:54
then give me AD 12. That's a 2.
55:57
Two, you find what you realize is a scroll case.
56:01
It's very big. It's like the size of a steamer
56:03
trunk, because these scrolls are so fucking big.
56:05
But you recognize it because you see various zealots walking
56:10
around with these things. Shit, I'll take it.
56:13
OK, so you find buried under these worms.
56:16
It kind of looks like it's about the size of like, rolling
56:18
luggage, you know, like you're walking through the airport with
56:20
it. I need to find out if any of
56:23
these mushrooms I have a strip. So I can put it on my back, yes.
56:27
What's that? I need to find out if any of
56:28
these mushrooms are psychedelic. How do you find that out?
56:31
I don't know. Eat one.
56:34
Eat them. Just eat it.
56:36
Eat it. Eat.
56:37
It eat it. If the toughness test succeeds,
56:41
it's psychedelic. If it fails, it's it's
56:44
poisonous. Fuck, that's wonderful.
56:47
If you want to eat it, that's with your steaks.
56:48
I mean, they're. I'll take a hit of that with you
56:50
with. You Do you really want to do
56:53
that? I mean, if you want, because
56:55
it's sitting there in this pulsating worm tunnel eating
56:57
mushrooms. Perfect.
57:01
What we're doing? Oh boy.
57:03
I'll use an omen on his on Nate's role on screeches, yeah.
57:07
But not on. Is 11 good enough?
57:10
11 is not good enough. No, I didn't stay to.
57:12
DRI only have one SO. OK, you're going to use it on
57:15
that, so. I feel like it should be 5050
57:18
chance. Oh, the person that he.
57:20
Merck. Merck, 5050 is the Dr. 12.
57:24
Yeah, you know that That's 6040. Yeah, it really is.
57:26
But still, that depends on the modifiers, which isn't great for
57:30
this I realized. OK, what happens?
57:32
Eat a poisonous mushroom. Give me OK, so give me this
57:36
infected. Man, it's a poisonous mushroom.
57:41
You did this? And.
57:42
You have one hit point, right. Right.
57:45
OK so you guys both sit there to eat these mushrooms.
57:48
Both of you guys butterflies in your stomach.
57:50
You don't know what's going to happen.
57:51
This is pretty good good and Screech just these worms become
57:56
more like they they're they're colorful they're they're like
57:59
they're pretty far out man. But however though pee Wee over
58:04
here, Pee Wee over here is seeing the same thing you're
58:06
seeing but as everybody else is seeing is they're seeing like
58:11
Screech petting the worms like he's like rubbing the fuzzy wall
58:15
right or whatever. Whereas Pee Wee is foaming at
58:18
the mouth, laying on the ground like.
58:19
Twitching. Yeah.
58:20
And then you see, like these worms cover up, you start
58:24
covering up his body and he's just.
58:26
Is he dead? He's not even visible under
58:30
these worms. Should should we like get?
58:34
Him. Get him.
58:35
I I think we need to at least like coke him with a stick or
58:38
something. Screech.
58:38
No, he's crazy. He'll get up.
58:42
Please tell me you didn't eat the same shrooms.
58:44
I walk over to toddward and I get real close to him.
58:46
I'm like, where are we? Where are we?
58:51
I don't understand. Screech.
58:52
Screech. Like I like I look, look.
58:56
Dorian. Dorian.
58:56
Dorian. Dorian.
58:58
Dorian. Is that you?
58:59
I. Don't know his name.
59:01
I. How the fuck would you know
59:02
Levi, who doesn't belong in this game?
59:04
Because. There was a 7th misery.
59:06
There was a misery where you forgotten names.
59:09
Fairpoint. Fairpoint we yeah, we totally
59:12
don't call each other Todd Word and Screech and Pee Wee and all
59:15
this shit anyway. I'm just saying we forgot
59:18
everyone's names. Also Fairpoint this isn't like
59:22
the like the this is the worm tunnel tunnel.
59:25
Yes. He look around to it is wormy so
59:28
believable. Surprisingly, we came back
59:30
around. Don't know how, but here we
59:33
found the shrooms. Unfortunately, all have no
59:36
effect on me Now. I've lost my lost my true
59:38
talent. I.
59:41
Surprised you could recognize me, to be honest.
59:43
It was the Shitty Jagger of honestly.
59:45
Fuck. God damn it.
59:47
Don't mention the shit. The shit.
59:48
Yeah, that part's bad too. Look, look, we need to we need
59:53
to maybe get out of here and I kick a worm off my shin.
59:56
Yeah. Do I get up?
59:57
No, you're dead. Can I loot his body?
1:00:01
You find it? Give me a presence test.
1:00:04
No, I like the idea that you can't find it. 19 Now you found
1:00:08
it. Yeah, you found you.
1:00:09
You're like digging through the worms and you're like.
1:00:11
You want to know what you find? He's naked isn't.
1:00:13
He. I'm Naked.
1:00:14
You found my Dick. You found my Dick.
1:00:20
Did you get new glasses? So.
1:00:24
And you didn't bring. A weapon or anything with you.
1:00:26
You find my cane which has blow darts.
1:00:29
You did find that, Yeah. And you know that because you
1:00:31
know him, I guess. Yeah, currently clogged out of
1:00:33
Kane with. Blow darts now.
1:00:34
There's a fucking worm in it. I kind of imagine just like in
1:00:38
the chamber, just he blows up the first dart and it's a worm
1:00:41
to. I hope you got 12 darts.
1:00:44
I I'd be careful using that blow dart.
1:00:47
You don't want to get infected. Infected.
1:00:50
That's the end. There isn't.
1:00:51
It in the episode Hey Everybody Kevin at the end
1:01:37
of the episode. This episode featured the
1:01:39
adventure Church of the Worm by JVC Perry with Levi playing Pee
1:01:42
Wee The Tormented Toy Maker by Reverend Uncle Bastard, Thomas
1:01:46
playing We Met the Catacomb St. by Makuti, Kevin playing Tommy
1:01:50
the Shonky Skulker by Tommy Sunzenauer, Jake playing Todd
1:01:54
Word, the Destitute Thespian by Linderon, and Nate playing
1:01:57
Screeched, the Narcomancer by Brain Rat.
1:01:59
This episode also featured content from 4D20 Swords which
1:02:02
are not plus one by Full Frontal, Philip Jensen, and a
1:02:05
pole arm to plunge into someone rotten from the Thoughts and
1:02:08
Prayer Zine by Stockholm Cartel. Check out all these cool things
1:02:11
and their respective Ex Liveris Morg entries and the description
1:02:15
accompanying this episode, as well as the Flail to the Face
1:02:19
episode 16 Companion Underworld Associates.
1:02:22
And while you're at it, check us out on our social medias, our
1:02:25
Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blue Sky and Thread.
1:02:28
And wherever you listen to podcasts, make sure to rate,
1:02:32
review, and share with all of your friends so we can get out
1:02:35
there to more people while we're at it.
1:02:37
If you haven't already, please check out our sister podcast The
1:02:40
World Standard. And if you like what they're
1:02:42
doing over there, think about joining their Patreon.
1:02:44
It gives you access to their Discord, which you could talk to
1:02:47
us as well because we're on there.
1:02:48
And just for $3 a month you get a Discord access with that.
1:02:52
Thanks for listening and we'll catch you guys next time.
1:03:04
Feel free to touch your button, Kevin.
1:03:06
Should I? Buttons have been touched.
1:03:09
Touch your butt. The Dirt button 2.
1:03:12
Uno quattro. Ready and Flow of the Face
1:03:16
Episode 16 Church of the Worm Part 2 action.
1:03:21
That is amazing. I got it for Christmas and I was
1:03:25
like I have A use for this actually.
1:03:27
It even has Chuck. It even it came with Chuck,
1:03:30
yeah, which I broke immediately pulling out of the package.
1:03:33
Just so excited. I'm really strong.
1:03:37
I'm just not very strong. I'm just not very gentle.
1:03:43
All right, actually work Well said.
1:03:45
We've been doing foiling this nub around.
1:03:50
You leave him out of this. Don't call it enough.
1:03:56
Okay, jokes on you. It was a nub before.
1:04:01
We may go to Mexico. I want a picture of a skeleton
1:04:04
with anal beads. No and and just sunbathing with
1:04:08
a tablet. Yeah, no, with that little
1:04:10
tinfoil thing and sunglasses. Oh yeah, the foil thing.
1:04:17
He's sun bleaching his bones. All right.
1:04:24
Almost done. And there, perfect.
1:04:29
Well, Kevin, you've done it again.
1:04:32
Another banger of an episode. Oh, what's this?
1:04:37
Looks like we have an e-mail opening the e-mail.
1:04:42
No subject? No.
1:04:44
Let's open it and see what it is.
1:04:49
Complex back story. I knew we forgot something in
1:04:53
this episode.