Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #153 Peanut Butter Lunch, Stool Samples And Fake Illnesses

Transcript

#153 Peanut Butter Lunch, Stool Samples And Fake Illnesses · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know the video we did about the tens machine. Yes,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I do recall a couple of comments on this. There
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: was one Ash that said, why is his hair always dirty?
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Who's well? I think me? I'd had on, didn't I? Yeah, yeah?
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Is my hair? It's always a bit ship? I showered,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I brushed it kind of.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Why do you mean it's not dirty?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: It's maybe their phone's dirty and it's just reflecting on
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: your hair.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I don't wash my hair. Why? Okay, who washes their hair? Well?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I mean, is it a problem? Are you sure to
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: put water on it? Of course washed?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Of course, it's always a bit because of the back
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: is a bit self conscious.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: I almost wore a beanie today. That would look weird
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: if he wore a beanie.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's not doing any favors for myself. And welcome
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: back to two noting dads. I'm Maddie Jay and I'm Ash.
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: And this is a podcast all about parenting.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: It is the good, it is the bad, and the relatable.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: And there is no.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Advice from Ash, from myself, from anyone, no real advice
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: in this episode.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: Advice.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: We're not about giving advice. What we are about is
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: giving advice.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: No, no, sorry, what are we about? Very well, go
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: on confusing. This is what we're about. Let me tell
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: you something. Let me tell you what happened today just
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: really quickly was fresh, okay, oscar this morning in bed
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: for a cuddle, love that then.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Very coldest morning was one of the coldest mornings.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Look, my house is just freezing all the time. It
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: is so fucking cold.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: But we have a I just want to say, when
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I wake up a morning's like today and I'm cold,
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I think of you.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I think of you and you're technically homeless. I was like, God,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I hope it's okay up there. Homeless are warmer than me.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Anyway, we have an electric blanket all right on our
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: on our bed. I'm not allowed to have the electric
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: so on because I left it on one too many times.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: So I've been banned.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: So when mom goes to the gym and the kids
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: coming for a cuddle, we scooped you on over to
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: the side, to the affluent side of the bed.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: And like in India when there's like literally one road
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: and on one side it's like the four people and
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: on the other side it's a nice house.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: It's like anyway, so we scooped over and Oscar's like, oh,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: got a bit of a sore throat brow you sick?
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, I guess you can't go
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: on your excursion today.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Is just kidding, I'm just kidding. And I was like, yeah,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: so it gotcha.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Anyway, he's super excited about that, about the first excursion
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: at big school today.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: They're getting on.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: A bus, a chartered bus all together, the whole grade grade.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Such a dad thing you got me.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Don't ask me what to choose GPS, because I won't
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: be able to tell that either. Was super excited this
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: morning joshing off to school. He wanted to go early.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: He's got to watch. You gotta watch for his birthday.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: So now he thinks he can tell the time, and
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: it's annoying.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: What watch did you get him? It's just a digital
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Minecraft one.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: It just has like the numbers it's right, and he
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: can be like it's nine three.
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: But he has no idea what that means.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: No, he has no idea what that means. So anyway,
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: he went to school really excited. And I've just received
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: a text message from April, who happens to be my
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: wife also the mother of my children, and she says devastating.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: I just get you to read this out.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: Oh, she's it's a school email. School, it's a formal
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: email dear parents and cares. It's very inclusive.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: I like that.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: It is with great disappointment. It is with great sorry.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: It is with great disappointment that we were notified this
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: morning by the Charter bus company that they had canceled
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: our booking.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: For today's excursion to Gibburagong.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: It's an indigenous site. Don't shush me?
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: Is it because I'm indigenous? You wanted to shush me?
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: That was an acknowledgment of cont anyone wondering ash what
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: are your background?
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Is indigenous?
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And MWe kindergarten students have returned to their classroom and
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: the excursion will be rebooked for a later date.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Oh it's disappoint that is it's devastating.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: That's bad management. Do you reckon? Was it at the
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: fold of the bus company or do you reckon? They
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: went to one of the teachers said, how you did
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: booking that bus? That's what's happened.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I reckon. That's the thing.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: When there's too many fingers in the pie, things get missed.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: So April said devastating. Of course, absolutely, And she said,
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: so sad. I feel for him, And my response was,
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: he also needs to understand disappointment.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: So turn it into a teaching He's a good emotions
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: to experience. And do you reckon right now? He's going,
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Oh God, Tickles come back.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it'd be a sick babe afternoon. That's for sure.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: That is sad. That is really sad. That is really sad.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I want to I want to get to the bottom
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: of that. Well, keep your post who was a fault here?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: We'll launch a full investigation because if it wasn't the
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: bus company, they're being defamed right now, the good parents
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: of the Northern Beaches. Right now, all the disappointment is
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: targeted towards that bus company.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, I don't know who it is. I'd
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: name and shame if I knew. Can you dig a
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: little deeper I will be digging a little bit deeper
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: stuff soon. I'll get to the bottom of it for you. Wow,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: you're really upset about it.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I can see. No, I'm rattled.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I do want to ask about Oscar's birthday. Oh yeah,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I do want to ask. But before I got about that,
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: But before I go into Oscar's birthday. I want to
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: talk about me.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: I love that and what a standout guy.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's enough about you anyway.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: If I may say so myself, you know I'm someone
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: ash that in any situation.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like you're setting this up to be a
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: real fall from grace.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: If there is ever someone in need, anyone, gender, age, nationality.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: I'll help anyone, inclusive of you. Very inclusive? Is that
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: that email was very inclusive? Yes? Yes, you know.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I don't want to put myself in situations where I
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: need to be heroic, But at the same time, those
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: situations seem to find me. It's almost like the universe
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: knows that I'm the kind of person that will look
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: at danger in the face and front it head on.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: You're a hero in disguise. What do you mean? So
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: you're just in disguise as a regular person. Thank you,
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: but you are somewhat of a hero. I would say
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: thank you. I will accept that with open arms. You're welcome.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: Do you want to know what happened?
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: No, I don't know.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: It would be very awkward if you were like, I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: don't to give a shit and that's all we got
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: time for So I was getting a coffee the other morning,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: ash in the morning cold.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: I do you know how you love your coffee? I
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: love a morning coffee.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: You know, there's very much a line in the sand
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: pre coffee, post coffee.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: And what was that noise that came in? There was
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: a light trying to think where were going with that?
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, did you shot yourself?
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: As I was going into the cafe, there was a
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: lady who was tying a dog up to a chair.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: She was going to order her coffee as well. Big
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: staffy I think it was a staffy. As she finished
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: tying the dog to the chair, which was a metal chair.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: The chair he kind of like shrugged a bit, the
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: chair rattle.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: He worked out that it didn't weigh very much. Well,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: he he I don't. I wouldn't go that far. I would.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: He got a little bit startled by the noise of
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: the chair.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Oh shit, okay, So he kind of like was like
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: oh the dog was like oh fuck is that? And
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: the chair was like and he was like, oh, hang on,
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I took a step back. And as he took a
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: step back, the chair followed him and he was like, oh,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: look that's a bit you know, it's a bit scary
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: for the dog. The dog doesn't know what a chair is.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: And so as the dog started to then like start
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: to walk away trying to get away from the chair,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: the chair was following the dog.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness. And from then on it just snowballed.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: So this dog then got fully freaked out started running away.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And as the dog ran away, this chair, this chair
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: is chasing the dog.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: This metal chair is balancing up and down the road.
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: At this point, it's like trying to outrun you shadow.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And this lady is like she's an older lady.
• 9:04
  Speaker 5: She's like, Billa, Billy, no, but it's so young, Billy, Phillip,
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: please Billy.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: And I'm watching this unfold and I'm like, god, you
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: got to start running. And I was like do I do?
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I just really want to get my coffee. I get
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: my coffee first and then I can help her. And
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: no one was helping this lady. And this dog was
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: now running through the car park and this chair like
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: balancing luckily missed all the cars.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Oh that is lucky. And she's like, Billy, please, will
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: you come back? And I was like I got to
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: help her. Just start chasing this dog. Didn't you. Well,
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: I was such an eck chasing a bag in the
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: wind when you drop a receipt and you.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Put your foot on it, and I thought to myself,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to chase after the dog.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: I kind of like you want to.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Act cool as well, Thank you, Billy.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: So the way that it worked out, so the dog
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: kind of turns around and then starts heading back towards
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: the cafe. All of a sudden, the dogs maybe like
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: one hundred meters away, oh no, last fifty meters away,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: and it's running towards me full gallop. Lady's still yelling
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Billy out from the rest of the car park, and
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: this chair is du bouncing around, and I'm like, fuck,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: here we go. You know, I'm like a full back
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: on the footy field. It's me as a prop running
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: full pace at me. And yeah, came the ponger and
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I'm there like ready to take on this dog.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: And I was like, do you know what I've got this?
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: I've got this. I'm going to save the day. I
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: will rescue Billy. Best case scenario, free coffee.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And I also just I just want the praise, you know,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I just I just I want to know that people
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: give me a pat on the back.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: As I go to grab this dog, he side steps
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: me the old drawer he drew you in, Billy was
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: very quick.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: So now I've missed Billy, and I look up and
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: the chair.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: And I braves the impact, and the chair fucking hits me.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: You're stunned.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: You've been chaired by a dog at a cafe in
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: the morning.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: I'm assuming it hurts. I can tell one of those
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: one of those silver like yeah, I know the chairs.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: So the chairs cleaned me up, and I've kind of
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: grabbed onto the chair you've latched on. I malatched onto
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: the chair, but the chair is moving at such a pace.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Actually I can't hold onto the chair, but I slow
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: him down, you know. I take the wind out of
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: the sails of old Billy boy, the staffy dog. And
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: then as I kind of look over, I'm on my back.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: As I look over, another guy stepped in and as
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I've slowed Billy down so much, he's now grabbed Billy
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: swooped in and took your moment.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: That mother fucker. People are applauding this man.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Oh the lady comes running Billy, Billy, You're saved, Billy
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Tree cheers for the stranger runs right past me.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I get nothing. Oh not a pat on the back?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: You assisted? Yeah, I was. I limp into the cafe.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: I'm like fucking up. Really, I was like, yeah.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: So that's four fifty for the coffee and fifteen bucks
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: of the chair. Oh fuck, very good from you, very good.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: You are a hero. You're a modern day hero. Thank you.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: And the dog he's safe and the chair is ruined. Beautiful.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Look, A similar thing happened to not to me, but
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: to a friend of mine who they had the dog
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: and had the lead, and they for some reason they
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: tied the lead just to an empty coke bottle or
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: something like, just like it was just it was just
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: like it was just like a like fiddling, you know
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: how you're just like fiddling with the just.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I thought you meant tying to a coke bottle to
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: like that'll stop him, just like a fiddle.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Just kids. Yeah.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Anyway, the dog moved and the bottle started to follow
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: the dog.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Freak the dog out. This story is not.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: Going to end well, yeah, the dog got hit by
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: a car. Yeah, the bottle chased it into oncoming traffic. Whushka,
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: bottle was fine? What were you doing me.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: This is not my story, someone else's story. You were there.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: I wasn't there. Thank god, it's definitely you. Yes.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: No, my dog found a pack of listenerine strips under
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: the bed and sneeze for three hours straight.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: That's the worst thing that I've ever accidentally done to
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: a dog. Moving on from we were moved right, let's
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: go straight fast.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: Oscar's birthday. Oscar's birthday, Yes, what an affair. Also, God,
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: why did we throw them a party last year? I
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: said to April. I said, this year, like really low key.
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: It was just like really close friends. A couple of
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: us went temping bowling. Also chaos.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: It is just kid party after kid party, and they're
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: in each other's lanes. This guy's trying to bowl. Okay,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: get the fuck out of my lines.
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I saw you. You do you have the spin. I've
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: got it all man, You're very good. I've got a
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: perfect game in bowling. No, they made it up. I
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: high two hundreds though, very good, thank you. Uh yeah,
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: absolute chaos. And the kids, they're so fucking excited. Oscar's excited.
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: There's meltdowns happening left, right and center, but all in all,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: pretty pretty good. He got spoilt rotten that he did
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: by friends family. It got to the point where it's
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: we were trying to educate him a little bit about
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: how we're going to lunch with the family now, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: there's obviously my family. They were all down, not specifically
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: for his birthday, but they were just all here.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: So we went had a pub lunch.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: Where it's a playground and my kids and my niece
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: and stuff could go and play. But it was like, oh,
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: how many kids at well the party, oh, the bowling party.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: Itself was I think there was like six or seven kids. Great,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: great number. It was just it was just meant to
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: be lokey.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: But the family thing was the next day, which was Sunday,
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: and I was like, what are we doing today? And
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: we're like, we're going to have a party with the family,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: and we're trying to educate him that it's not just
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: about the presence. It's like, it's also nice to see
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: your family, and he was just like, yeah, but it is.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I was like, come on, man, like they're all here
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: for you and blah blah blah blah blah. So trying
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: to educate him to do that was the biggest challenge
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: over the weekend because he didn't give a fuck about.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Anyone else other than what they were giving him. And
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what do you got? I think next year
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: we're going to reverse the roles and just get him
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: to give people things.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Don't do that, like, just to give him some sort
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: of let him be like gluttonous, you know for that day.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: You know, when you're a kid, you don't like fuck the.
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: Family counting his birthday down for ninety days. It's been
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: about him for long enough. Yeah, like kids don't care
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: about family.
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: I don't care of the thing. I want him to
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: care about the family. Why because I think it's a
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: nice thing that my grandmother's in her eighties.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: She doesn't need to thank you, she needs she needs
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: a bit more than that. Isn't that fair?
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: I think that's fair. I think that's very empathetic of me,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: to be honest.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: It is. Maybe I'm a hero in disguise. Don't be ridiculous.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: That was silly.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: Lots of presents, lots of Lego. Holy shit, the kid
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: is is like a Lego genius. It's unbelievable, like he's
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: built it all. And it was like I'm talking thousands
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: of pieces of Lego he's built trucks and car It's unbelievable.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Lego is expensive. We've spoken about it before. It is expensive.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: It is crazy, it is it is crazy. Yeah, yeah,
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: it's but you know, what can you do? You build
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: with him? Or do you let him just do his thing?
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I let him do his thing.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he'd be thanging over here and I'm doing whatever.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: And then if there's something's a bit hard or it
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: needs a bit of muscle, he can.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: But otherwise he'll.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Do like like he'll do an eighteen plus lego on
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: his own.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: What dude, unbelievable, rain Man, brain man.
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: Nothing real event will happened other than just the chaos
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: of kids and April being over stimulated the whole weekend.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: That's really all that happened.
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: We've got Marley's coming up's birthday is on Friday, Thursday,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: Thursday the nineteenth, and we stupidly we've said we'll have
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: it here, have it here at home. And then last
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: weekend Lola got invited to a party. It's like a
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: flying yoga place that does kids' birthday party.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Will be doing too much, and we thought, well.
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: Marley's turning six, she's into flying yoga, so we were like,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: we'll book.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: That people are doing too much. It's like four hundred bucks.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: What Yeah, So now I've had to retract the flying
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: We had to like deviate what Marley, you're.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Doing flying yoga for your birthday?
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: And Laura is like a four hundred bucks and I
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I haven't got the party here, scrap.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: So haven't it here. And I'm like, oh my god,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: it's going to be who's got flying yoga money? Jesus,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: that is wild.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: I know people be doing way too much for birthday,
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: and it was it goes back to remember when we
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: were talking about last year the guy who had the diggers.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it just happened to be someone that April knew
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: and then it was a long story.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: But people are.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Doing We've got we've we splurged on a Fairye, we've
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: got a fairy come. Oh that's cool, a fairy coming.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: She'll dance, just some bubbles.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, dude. I took all the kids bowling. It was
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: like one hundred and fifty bucks for like for like
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: seven eight kids. Did you feed them? Was that including
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: for the animals? No, not including food. I just got
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: some nuggies and stuff. They were pretty sure.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: It was only like, to be honest, two games took
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: way too long for these kids.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: One game, yeah, I wasn't expecting it to take.
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: Like three hours. It's I think I had like nine beers. Sorry,
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: it wasn't a joke. Sorry to get through it somehow,
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: so aprils overwhelmed and I'm just tanked.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: No, I had a couple. I had a couple with
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: the other days. I don't try backtrack now.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: Anyway, something eventful did happen over the weekend.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: I fucking come on, jog my memory on something else.
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: So April comes home.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: She's taken Macy to the specialist who's said something wrong
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: with the rye.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: She's fine, by the way, thanks for your concern. And
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: she got there and.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: The receptions is like, you're your rash is wie from
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: two doting dads.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: And she was the.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: First kind of public spotting that she's had without me. Yeah, yeah,
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: oh god, howtually find that? Well, she came home, she's like,
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: you made it. The receptionists recognized me because of.
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: You, And then she's mad, yeah yeah, but it reminded
• 20:19
  Speaker 6: me of welcome, Yeah, you are welcome.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: It reminded me of a time when I was recognized
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: in the situation that I didn't wish to be or
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: was hoping that didn't go on. A while back, I
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: had to do a stool sample yep. Now I had
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: to go to the doctors to pick up the stool
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: sample kit yep from the receptionist.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Got it.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: I walk in the receptionist straight away, you're the guy
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: who wears the towel on his head and I was
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: like yeah.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: She was like, you're so funny. It's so me blah
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: blah blah.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: Blah blah, great, great boost of the ego and I
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: love that.
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: And then she was like, how can I help? No, nothing,
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: oh no nothing. I just saw the poppy to say.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm here to pick up a stool
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Shes like, oh yes, she knew.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: She was like, oh, Ashton, yes, here's.
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Your stool sample kid, hands it over, hands it over,
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: and I was like, yeah, okay, okay. I was like,
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: all right, that's pretty embarrassing. She was like, so you
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: just bring it back. I'm like to you, She's like,
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: I'll be here all day.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: I'm never going back. I'll probably die. I don't know
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: what's wrong with me, and I need to get my
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: stool test. At least it's not like a pursepex clear box.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Yes, it was. Do you know what it was? Never
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: done it. It was a big you should do it.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: Wear a disguise. It's like a it's like a big
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: zi block sandwich bag, right, like a medical z blocks.
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: You don't ship in the bag. Sorry, it's a Wooly's
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: paper bag. You take a ship it because the handles
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: will break.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Here's your kids, just one big.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: It's one of those old coal's gray bag.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: So it's a ziploc bag and it's got like pathology
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: slips in there with the little yellow, yellow lidded clear
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: sample jar.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: The yellow lid screams medical sample. Yes, screams it. It's screams.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Ash is going to poop in this?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Do that?
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: How much poo do you put in there? Oh? It
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: fill it to the brim? I go na. Sorry.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I was particularly getting a stool sample because something in
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: that area wasn't right.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: The Nine Beers bowling or no, no, this has gone
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: way back. Sorry, this is going this is pre nine Beers.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: And I was like okay, Well I grabbed the bag
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: offer and I was like okay, So like oh.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Do I have to drop it off here? Like, is
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: there anyone else I can drop it off closer to home?
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: I lived like down the road, but I didn't want
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: to have to come back to this situation because that's embarrassing.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: And she was like, no, no, no, go.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: To bring it back here. I'll be here all day.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: We're open till seven pm. And I was like, okay, great,
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: this is great, this is good, this is good.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Great. So I left, and the whole way home, I'm thinking,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I don't want.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: To shoot in this carp because mind you think bringing
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: it back in yeah, but mind you it's pretty running
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: down there.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: At the moment.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: She's like, no, I didn't say we. I said pooh,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: And you're like, that is my poop.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: That is my pooh.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: I squirted it out my bum if that's what you
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: need to know. I went home and I told April,
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: and April was like, what are you going to do?
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, well, for my health, I need to
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: do it, obviously, because health is key.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I did that pretty good.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: So I deliberated over the whole course of the day,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: well the whole course of the morning, and I thought
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: maybe if I go around lunchtime, she's gone to lunch
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: and there'll be like a different receptionist.
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: It's very good.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Do you poo in the toilet and then scoop it
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: from the toilet into the couple? Do you poo into
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: the little jar? Oh, I don't have.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: That good of a name. I had to scoop. I
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: had to scoop, scoop. You get in. There's some tongs,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: those tongs straight straight the bin. Yeah, it stinks.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: There's no sound sound, there's no smell barrier around those
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: little yellow things out seap.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: Very good word. Well, well put, I would say. I
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: went back.
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: It was in a shopping center to which makes it
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: even more walking through the shopping center. I had to
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: walk through the shaving the sugar.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Did I step in ship? What's going on? Yes? I
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: had to walk through the shopping center with.
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: The zipla ziploc bag of ship steaming, ship steaming.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: It was still warm smoking. People were clearing out. It
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: has matt soon everyone.
• 24:33
  Speaker 7: It did have the big bio hazard thing on the front.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: And as I'm walking, Yeah.
• 24:40
  Speaker 6: All the smuggles sprinklers have come on. You're bee lining
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: to the receptionist, bee lining to the doctors. And I've
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: like staked out the doctors. I'm walking through the shops,
• 24:55
  Speaker 6: staking out to see.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: If she's there.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: She's there, okay, and I'm like, fuck, but there's another
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: receptionist there too. There's two people there now, and I've
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: walked in with a shitty bag. They're eating their lunch.
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: Oh God, I give them the bag of ship, and
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: the receptionist turns to the other person who's also working
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: on receptions, like this is the.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: Guy I was telling you about. God.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: No, She proceeds to get her phone outs. You did
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: not get a photo. I got a photo with them,
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: with the ship in the photo, the ships in the background.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: In hindsight, it would have been it would have actually
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: been if I had the ship. But they've taken they've
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: got their phone out. First of all, she's showing their
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: videos of me.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: That's inappropriate. And then she's like, can we get a photo?
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: There's like patient confidentiality. I might. I've just shatt in
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: a jar given it to you. You want to get a
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: photo with me.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: There's absolutely no way that she's handed over that ship.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: She's got that right now in the freezer.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: I never did get the results back. Now it turns
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: out I was experimenting.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: With Ashwa gun and that was the problem. It's like
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: some sort of herbal ship. Well, there you go, so
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I'm fine with that.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: God, technically I didn't even really need to give her
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: the bag of ship.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Going to the doctors is scary enough for being recognized.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: I've never been back to that particular doctor, to that receptionist.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: If she is listening, please there's a time and a
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: place in the medical center keeping my ship back. Yeah,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I just really quickly, really really quickly. Do you ever
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: make lunch for Oscar for school?
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my job most of the time. What kind
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: of sandwich do you give?
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: It's just VEGGIEMI bro, Yeah, it's just easy, good, good idea.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: What did you do? Actually, well, have to do both lunches.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: She's christ No, it's annoying, but yeah, anyway, it's not
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: all about.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: You, isn't it? Well done? Thank you?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: I don't live I don't make the sandwiches nor any
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: of the artists that go into Marley's lunch.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: She's doing it.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: No, No, she's away at the moment, she's still in
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: the Gold Coast.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: So this week I've been doing don't make a sandwich
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: like that? Well, I was just like, Mally, what do
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: you eat? She's like, I don't know. I was like,
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: what do you want? It's just the same thing every day.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: And then she was like, give me a peanut butter
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: sandwich and I was like, great, I'm.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Not allowed to take peanuby the sandwiches school. How do
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: you know that nuts? But how do you know that
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: people die from allergies of nuts?
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: He's good, very good. Can't school me, so hang on
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: to stay.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I've killed three kids. I will be in hiding after
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: this episode. No, I didn't realize. I didn't realize. And on
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Monday I gave her a peanut butter sandwich and Marley
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: came home and picked her up. She came home, she's like,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I'm starving. He was like, Daddy, why did you do
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: that to me?
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: And I was like what do you mean?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: And she's like the sandwich and I was like what
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: was wrong? And she's like, we cannot have nuts? And
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, hang on, you ask for it, so
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: don't don't don't blame me.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: She's five, Yeah, she doesn't know.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: Well, you're an adult.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: I didn't know either.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: For anyone out there, if you're going to school next year.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: If you've got to start making lunch is just know
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: that the rules are different. Back when I was a kid, bro,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: you can bring nuts to school. It was survival of
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: the fittest if you use nutsank god, no, no, no, no, okay,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: moving on.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: So I just want my advice. I'm just letting people
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: know that. Fuck. Sorry, no, it's not advice. Might just
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: be wary. Just be aware. Parents out there. Cares, cares
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: parents and cares.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: No nuts at school because what happens ash because of
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: the other kids. You have to eat your nut, lunch,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: your peanut butter in the classroom.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: Lunch and shut up.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: And so Mally had she couldn't play with the other
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: kids at lunchtime because she had to eat it in
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: the classroom.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Oh and so.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: She was punished, and so she the whole time she
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: was like, fucking dad, fucking stitching me up and making
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: it a pan butter sand.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Got eating whatever. It's not crunchy peanut butter. There's got
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: to be there's got to be a middle ground. It was.
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: It was smooth. It was smoothut butter. Yeah, are you
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: a smooth family? Nana?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: Fucking Nana, I bought this stuff said, yeah, enough said that.
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: What's that with that generation?
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: That generation is also with that generation they tell the
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: most diabolical stories.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: It's a bit rich coming from you, but it's right
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: minor entertaining.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Says the guy who just talked about handing over his
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: ship for the last fifteen minutes.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: Hey, I love it. I love a bit of shit.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: Why do we have to adjust our whole life for
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: these people?
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I say, stuff them, Yeah, sere here, stuff don't
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: it's not for this.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, mostly regression.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: You don't want so just tell me what your parent
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: do you want? My grand party at the shirt.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: You don't want advice from frangs?
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Go and tell me what is your current?
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: Once again, I'm gonna say that's the greatest song we've ever.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: Very arrogant from you, but I agree. Okay, grand let's go.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: Let's do you want to go first first? Don't you
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: let me? I hate it when we fight. I just
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: listeners out there. That's us having a full heated argument.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: That was it. Yeah, we're not going to talk for
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: twenty four hours after this. Great Oh I'm just my kid.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: I kid, I said here, I have kids and I kid.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Can you smile for once? There? We go.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: I it is from mint and he said, Minty, this
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: is from Mindy.
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: Get it out, hurry out, bait baits. I'm joking. Shut up. Okay,
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: this is a bit of a silly one. I'm gonna
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: say this is a silly one.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: Us silly babies crying when they're tired. No one's stopping you,
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: just trying to sleep.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: I did see a TikTok with a parent hack. Apparently,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: just full disclosure. I don't hate my kids. Apparently you
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: go outside and you make them look into the sun.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: That's how you make them sneeze.
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: Apparently that's how you make can go to sleep. You
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: put hot lights in their face. That's not asleep. That's
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: called blind. Catherine says, school of emails like clogging up
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: my inbox. I wouldn't know what that feels like because
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: I can't subscribe to the fucking school.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Was lucky you?
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: Well, we just forgot an email from the school today, remember,
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: so this is one of many that we get.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I don't get them. I alright, look, I think, yeah,
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: just pretty, it doesn't matter. She kid's ill.
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: This is from m I don't know if it's Emma
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: or Emily. Will figure that out. We'll take the journey.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: People usually mother in law. Sorry, I thought it was
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: just like people moving on people, and that is all.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: People usually mother in law, someone who's the mother in law.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: Brave of her to put her name down. I don't
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: think she's named mother in law and it reads please
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: do not say my name.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: M So people usually mother in law's calling your baby
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: my baby or our baby, like bro, what the fucking yeah?
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I think, Ah, there's all those it is as a
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: family unit.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but there's all those memes as well that kind
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: of play into this, which is like mums and sons, right,
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: so you see all those things where it's like the
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: love between a mum and a son that the wife
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: to be is never going to be good enough, and
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: it sort of plays into that thing where it's like, well,
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: I'm part of their relationship, right, so now.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: Am I a genius hanging on? Just my genius, I'll
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: just come up with this on the spot.
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I'm part of their relationship, so therefore that baby
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: must also be mine mine?
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: Does your mother in law do that? Nah? All right? Look,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: I agree I think that that my baby is.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: My an April's baby, right, not my mom's or not
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: my mother in law's baby, right a grand baby.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: And their parents is their great grandbaby.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: Yep, you're back with me now kind of yeah, okay,
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: next next points from Chelsea. I'm a teacher and I
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: hate that parents tell their kids if you feel sick,
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: then tell the teacher and be sent home.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: They nagged me all friggin day. Fingers at Oscar.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I thought you were going to say, I thought she
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: was going to say, I'm a teacher.
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: And I hate kids. I was like, well, I think
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: you're in the wrong prependent.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Just on that point, let's circle back to the start
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: of this episode when I said that Oscar would end
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: up in sick bay.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: Guess what he is at home? He's no, he's not.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: I read the message. April called me twice and I
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: was like, I had to pick Oscar from sick bay
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: and planning of a sore ear. He'll literally what wait,
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: didn't he ever saw a throat this morning? It's moved
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: to his ear.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Apparently he's good because I saw ear like an earache.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: How do I how do I? How do you quiz that?
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: How do you sniff out? If that's bullshit?
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I get annoyed with just my kids saying they're sick.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: Imagine having a whole classroom kids been like, you.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: Just send them all off to sick bab another day
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: off because they probably got a quota.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right right, I've got a little pear ant if
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: I may.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: At the moment, we've got we've got so many soft toys,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: mountains of them, and we've started to like do bag
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: by bag loads once a week out to the savos,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: getting rid of them, getting rid of them, or donating them,
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: donating them, donating to those horse Yeah, please whip away.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: Whipping away.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: And it shits me that the kids out of nowhere
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: will be like, as I'm putting them to bed, they
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: look at me and go, where is my purple unicorn
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: that I had one time three months ago?
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm like, what, so frustrated?
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: I can't remember where they put their shoe when they
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: came in the front door home from daycare and school,
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, they're like fucking piecing
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: together a toy that they once had the blink of
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: an eye months ago.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: It's frustrated because I'd like to ask her, I'm like,
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: what did you do at school today? It's like, oh,
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: and then he'll be like, hey, where's that train said
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: I had when I was like two years old, and
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: I had like the blue and red wheels and like
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: the yellow puff of smoke coming out the top of
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: It's like what.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: And you know we'll find it tomorrow And they're like,
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: ah've got toy. Anyway, Ash, we have some questions.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: We do, we do have questions. I'm going to ask
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: you the first question, Matthew. This was from Phil Sounds
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: made up Top three never never, No, Top three, Top
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: three lame things that you enjoy now that you're a parent.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: Yep, there are a lot.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: There is a long list of things that I enjoy
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: that are very lame. I'm a very lame guy.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: Ash. If you can say no, you're not, yeah you are.
• 37:00
  Speaker 2: You know, you know you're definitely not. Definitely not no,
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: no one bit no Are we okay? Number one? You
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: said it, not me. I'll start with I think yeah, go.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: I will start with this is going to.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: Be a massive surprise to everyone listening, going to the
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: toilet to do a pooh oh man.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: That was mine too, It was my first one, it was.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: But they're also locking the door bam, game changer. And
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: then I get in trouble for locking the door, but
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: who my April because.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: She's like, what they can't get in?
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like yeah, She's like were they coming when I'm
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: in there and like, lock.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: The door, genius, what are you doing. It's the lamest
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: and the best.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Whenever the kids come in for a cuddle in the morning,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: after like ten minutes, I'm like, well, I'm off to
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: the toilet and they're like, You've always got to.
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: The door when we come in here come back for
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: dinner time.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was my number three, So I'm going to
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: give you my number two.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: My number two is and it's kind of sneaky.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: It is when either the kids aren't in the room
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: or they're asleep.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Oh sneak a dessert.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, so that could be either from the cupboard or
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: I've even driven to drive through Gotta MiG Flurry and
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: just sat in the carnated.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: On my head. I was like, where are you going
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: with nowhere? I'm just in the car, Like sometimes I
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: go back around and get no one. You don't, damn
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: lame boy.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Number two for me is being in the car and
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: driving solo.
• 38:30
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it is good, love it and you get
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: to listen to whatever you want to listen to, just
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: white noise, heaven, just listening to the sleep music. Ah god,
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: it is good. It's very very good, I would say,
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: and you touched on it the other day. Is solo chores?
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: Now solo chores where the kids can't get to you.
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: So if it's kind of like I'm say, I our
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: washing lines at the back yep, and it's like the
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: sheets need to be hung out. As much as I
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: hate hanging the sheets out, especially a fitted sheets, not man,
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: I'll go out the back door. I'll actually lock myself
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: out on purpose, on purpose, and it's a big glass
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: door at the back, and the kids are like up
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: against the guys, know, the headphones on.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: Get it done, and.
• 39:24
  Speaker 7: Then I might just mosy around the backyard, look looking
• 39:28
  Speaker 7: for dog poop, now the mcflurry, now the back there,
• 39:31
  Speaker 7: and then I'll walk up casually, walk around, see if
• 39:34
  Speaker 7: there's anything.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: Else I can do outside just a handy guye No not,
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: I'm just I'm literally just mosying around the backyard.
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: Essentially, anything by yourself is it's all of a sudden
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: when you're a parent, just delightful.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: I think that's another one for everyone right, But is
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: it lame depends what you're watching.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: This is pretty lame. Okay, this is about as lamb
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: as it gets. But I feel like parents out there
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: will be on the same page as me. Yeah, when
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it's the weekend, you get a lot of washing to do,
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: and it's a really hot summer's day and you know
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: that washing is going to dry real quick. Oh yeah,
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: and you get through a couple of loads in one day.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: It's exciting.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's exciting when it goes from being dirty all
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: the way to where it needs to be in its
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: final destination.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: That at the end of the day better than sex.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: It's had then set. I have a bonus one.
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: I just thought of specifically, in a pool, you go
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: to the deep end and you just submerge yourself and
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: you just sit there and you can't hear anything else
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: other than.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: The ticking of that the ticking of the pool cleaner going.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, how good these And then you come
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: back up and a kid jumps on your.
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: You just want to end this segment by saying that, gosh,
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: we love our kids.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: I love them so much that I try to avoid
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: them actively just for simple pleasures. Very good.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: This one is from Carly in the Facebook group. She says,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: what's the best way to make dad slash husbands feel
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: valued so they know they are doing an amazing job
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: apart from just telling them.
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: Apart from just telling them they're doing an amazing job.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, has April done anything to you where you felt
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: really valued as a parent?
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: Actually?
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: And it comes in the shape of words usually because
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: the other things, not.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: For it's look, I remember the other day we were
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: in bed reverse reverse cowgirl. How did you know we
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: were in bed? Not? How do you think it was?
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: And she actually said to me, she was like, I've
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: really noticed the things that you've been doing over and
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: above like what you usually been doing of late, And
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I felt I felt appreciated and I continued to do them.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: That works.
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know the question is that I know that
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: she's asking other than words, But yeah, I don't know.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: I for me, I know there was there was a
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: night when the kids were being really really tricky, like
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: it was just an absolute battle from the moment we
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: got home dinner bath, the kids were like I hate you,
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: You're the worst, screaming every step of the way. It
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: was just a really shitty night and off the back
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: of those nights, you can't help it be really exhausted.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: You kind of deflated as well, because you know, just
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: feel like the kids hate you and you're doing a
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: ship job. But then Laura was was doing a pretty
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: good job. Wow that Laura there, You know we're both
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: we're both struggling.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: Those were both struggling, and.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I just thought I'm going to pull all aside after
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: the kids are in bed, and I said, hey, look,
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: that was a nightmare of a scenario, like the kids
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: would just hell. And I just want you to know
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: that I thought you handled it so well. I've never
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: seen you be so patient. We both cracked it a
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: couple of times, but I just thought she needed a
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: little lift, and I was like, I just want you
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: to know that I thought you did such a great job.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: And that's that's observation, and it's observation, but then also
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: acting on it, because you would like a lot of
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: people would look at whether it's male female, look at
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: their partner and they we won't be struggling, and they
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: might just be like I'm struggling too, and not nothing said,
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: and no one's uplifted whatsoever. And I know for April
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: like her she loves acts of service. Right, so for example,
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: yesterday she girl she likes acts service. For example, yesterday,
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: he's a really good example. She went out, she had
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: to go to Oscar school to do something with Oscar,
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: and she came back with Oscar, dropped him off, and
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: then she went to pick Macy up.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: But she also had to pick up Macy's friend.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: As well, because we're looking after an afternoon because her
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: parents had something important to do.
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: And I thought, that's a lot.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: She's just done so much and didn't even say, hey,
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: can you do one or the other because I was
• 44:12
  Speaker 3: doing I was doing some work of writing something I
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: don't know.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: And then I was like, okay, fuk, she's out. I
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: finished what I'm doing.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: I brang the washing in, I made the kid lunches
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: for the next day, and cleaned up the house. And
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: then I know when she appreciated when she goes to
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: make goes to start to make the lunch and go, oh,
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: the lunches are made.
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: And I was like, yeah, well you run around all.
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: Afternoon and it was like, okay, you could see that.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: It made her happy, and it made me happy that
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: she was happy for me.
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: Nothing will ever be better than a genuine, heartfelt appreciation.
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Words go further than you think.
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, keep on at it both ways, not just to
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: yeah yeah both parents, parents in general. Everybody needs a
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: pat on the back.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: I just want to say Ash that this record I
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: think from you has been one of the best you've
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: ever done, and I think you've done an outstanding job
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: and you should be extreme proud of yourself.
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: Sure, thanks man. Anyway, Hey, I love that shirt.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: And if you thought Ash was also outstanding of this episode,
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: you can let us know by writing a review on Apple,
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: podcast even Spotify. We love comments on both. You know,
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: will take any bit of praise anywhere, just don't message
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: it to us on social media because that's a waste.
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: Needs to be a permanent fixture on Apple or Spotify.
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: I just say you delivered that amazing thank you so much.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: And you can also that was pay it, that wasn't
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: genuine and you can I have to walk with it anyway.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: You can also join us on social media, which is
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: two doting dads Instagram, TikTok and Facebook.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: Your tongue twiggling really threw me off. Then you're very
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: good at that anyway, and we wi lave.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: Okay, but are we gonna fuck? I felt silly coming
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: out of my mouth. Yes, is just dying? Do you mind?
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: Can you die somewhere else? Yes? Some of us are
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: trying to work. Jesus. What happened around the wrong went
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: down the wrong hole?
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: You shouldn't you shouldn't smoke so many Siegi's jests.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: And don't tell me last story.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Two. Doting Dance Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander
• 46:43
  Speaker 3: people's today