Latest / Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast) / The Friendship Experiment: 36 Questions That Create Deep Female Friendships (Pt. 3/3)

Transcript

The Friendship Experiment: 36 Questions That Create Deep Female Friendships (Pt. 3/3) · Imagine If with Doone Roisin | Health, Wealth & Wisdom for Women (formerly Female Startup Club Podcast)

• 0:01
  Okay, welcome back to FSC.
• 0:05
  We're on to episode three of the friendship experiment.
• 0:09
  And if
• 0:10
  you're out of the loop, go back and watch the last two episodes.
• 0:13
  We are exploring an
• 0:16
  experiment and making our own experiment of something that a psychologist in the 90s set
• 0:24
  up.
• 0:26
  So here we are.
• 0:29
  All right.
• 0:30
  This is going to be the deepest one.
• 0:34
  And if you want to be part of
• 0:35
  the experiment, there's a link in the show notes so you can join our podcast discussion group chat
• 0:43
  where we're bringing our fangirls along with us.
• 0:47
  And then we're going to do live events
• 0:51
  and some other stuff on the podcast, which I'm really excited about.
• 0:55
  In the last episode, I was actually thinking about something I said around friendship and what I value in friendship.
• 1:02
  And it's like an obvious answer, but you know when people say there are people that give you energy and there are people that drain your energy?
• 1:13
  I value friendships that give me energy and not drain.
• 1:19
  and you know that can also mean like the friends who can like sit on the couch in silence
• 1:26
  and talk about nothing I love that okay so we're up to the last 12 questions and
• 1:38
  here we go also have you seen my merch I'm just like so happy with this
• 1:47
  it's so cute
• 1:50
  all right
• 1:50
  we're gonna have to adapt these on the spot remember because i haven't read them
• 1:57
  we're doing this in real time 25 make three true we statements each for instance
• 2:08
  we are both in this room feeling okay i'm gonna make my three statements and if you'd like to
• 2:15
  make your three statements you will join the link in the show notes to be part of the experiment
• 2:24
  three true we statements as in we okay
• 2:33
  we are both in this podcast experience
• 2:40
  listening and trying something new together
• 2:46
  i'm delivering the answers at the moment you're listening to a new format of the show
• 2:50
  you're being invited to partake in the show that is a true statement
• 2:59
  we it's a bit like there's some assumptions happening here but
• 3:09
  gosh I don't know how to answer this one okay
• 3:13
  I think that if you're listening to this and you're into the third episode
• 3:21
  it's likely that you also share some of the feelings that I share around
• 3:27
  screen and phone addictions and that kind of lacking of friendship and connection and joy
• 3:39
  in this world that's kind of become super AI everything and so I think my second statement
• 3:45
  would be we are craving more connection and joy and friendship.
• 3:57
  And my third we statement
• 4:03
  would be we are interested and curious and ambitious
• 4:17
  and working towards our dream life and our goals and what we want to achieve,
• 4:24
  both professionally and personally.
• 4:27
  That's my three we statements.
• 4:31
  I don't know if that's right, but that's how I've answered it.
• 4:35
  Okay, 26.
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  Complete this sentence.
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  I wish I had someone with whom I could share.
• 4:46
  Hmm.
• 4:49
  I feel like I've talked about singing so much, but I wish I could have someone with whom
• 4:55
  I could sing with, with confidence, like, like a duet, that would be cool.
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  Like kind of like
• 5:10
  someone that you're able to kind of like,
• 5:14
  actually, you know what it is?
• 5:15
  It's also kind of like the having a, like a business partner or a
• 5:19
  co-founder or, you know, a co-host or something, like having someone to like be on the journey
• 5:27
  with, maybe, maybe the answer is I wish I had someone sitting right over there.
• 5:38
  Yeah.
• 5:39
  I think like sometimes it would be cool to have
• 5:46
  just like someone who's
• 5:49
  involved in a project like the podcast and we're having fun together and we're creating together
• 5:57
  whether that would be singing or dancing or the podcast or
• 6:05
  something creative something different
• 6:10
  I think that's my answer
• 6:12
  okay
• 6:13
  27
• 6:19
  if you were going to become a close friend with your partner
• 6:28
  what would be important for him or her to know
• 6:34
  well that's odd because we are already close friends
• 6:39
  so if I was going to become a close friend with someone new
• 6:47
  listening to this podcast what would be important for him or her to know
• 6:56
  I don't know maybe I'm gonna go for silly and funny
• 7:01
  a new close friend i love pickles i love capers i love baby animals
• 7:12
  i love having fun
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  that's a really tough one i don't know how to answer that one okay that's 27
• 7:20
  done capers pickles baby animals
• 7:27
  I guess this is where they're becoming a little bit designed for a partner and modern intimacy
• 7:34
  so we need to adapt this one as well question 28 tell your partner what you like about them
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  be very honest this time saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met
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  so i think if we were i think what would be cute if you were doing this like
• 7:56
  irl in a friendship setting like over a supper club for example i would tweak that to be
• 8:05
  tell the person sitting next to you something that you immediately like about them
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  being very honest.
• 8:15
  So it could be, you know, the energy that they gave off as soon as you met them,
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  like that first impression moment, or it could be something about their style and,
• 8:29
  you know, what you were drawn to when you first sat next to them, or something you really
• 8:37
  resonated with that they've said at the dinner table prior to answering the question.
• 8:47
  I'm not going to answer that one, but that's how we would do it.
• 8:52
  Hypothetically at Supper Club.
• 8:56
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• 9:42
  29 share with your partner but we're not doing partners share an embarrassing moment in your
• 9:53
  life oh my god i have so many there was this one time that pa and i were like
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  oh i don't even know if i can tell this let me just think about it
• 10:09
  okay well I'm going to tell it anyway so who cares there was this one time
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  we were in London we were going to Switzerland to see his family
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  and like on the way to the airport you know the Tesla like is very jolty stopped starting
• 10:24
  we had this uber driver that was also kind of driving really fast and so I was getting a bit
• 10:28
  car sick in the back I was like oh I don't feel well I don't know what's going on but I just
• 10:33
  thought it was like the car situation.
• 10:36
  Anyway, we get to the airport and I was like, oh my God,
• 10:40
  I feel really, really unwell.
• 10:43
  And while we were in the line to get on the plane, like to board
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  the plane, I was like, I need to vomit.
• 10:49
  So I went and threw up, came back, got on the plane.
• 10:52
  And usually it's like, I've always been a vomiter.
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  So I was like, cool, I'm going to
• 10:58
  throw up and then I'm going to be fine.
• 11:00
  I get on the plane, we sit down
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  and there was like a bit of a delay getting started.
• 11:05
  I don't know what it was, but I was
• 11:07
  sitting there kind of progressively being like, oh my God, I've actually like got some kind of
• 11:16
  feeling, stomach bug feeling.
• 11:19
  And I started overheating.
• 11:20
  I started getting like the,
• 11:22
  the sweaty neck and like the, that feeling of like panic.
• 11:26
  And then finally, finally, finally,
• 11:29
  they were like cool the plane is like about to take off but because we'd sat there for so long
• 11:35
  waiting for the plane to get up I had then like reached my expiry and so the plane is like starting
• 11:41
  to take off like this and I literally was like I have to get up and go to the back of the plane I
• 11:46
  have to go to the bathroom because I'm going to throw up so I start I get up I start running
• 11:53
  towards the back of the plane and the stewardess is shouting at me like you've got to sit down
• 11:57
  you've got to sit down and I was like I can't I'm about to throw up and she was like you've got to
• 12:01
  sit down so anyway I get to the back of the plane and all the four seats at the back were empty so I
• 12:07
  quickly tuck in there and I was like I need something anyway I get the um the vomit bag
• 12:12
  and I open it I start just like vomiting vomiting vomiting vomiting vomiting it was so bad because
• 12:23
  the bottom of that specific bag wasn't actually sealed.
• 12:27
  So I just essentially threw up all over
• 12:28
  myself.
• 12:29
  And then I was holding it as I was throwing up because it was coming out the bottom.
• 12:33
  It was like all over me.
• 12:34
  And then I was just like, oh my God, this is like terrible.
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  And I was
• 12:39
  so sick.
• 12:41
  Anyway, so, you know, it takes like a few minutes before they can like turn that sign
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  on that lets you like get up.
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  But in that time, I've already vomited on myself, vomited all over
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  the floor.
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  I'm holding a bag of my vomit.
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  And then I get that feeling of like, oh my God,
• 12:57
  it's not just vomit.
• 13:00
  It's about to get a lot worse.
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  Anyway, worst flight of my life.
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  I think we were like, I don't know, newly married when I was just like, I'm not feeling well.
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  And I was in the bathroom that entire flight.
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  And it was awful and very embarrassing.
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  I was
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  so embarrassed because I had to tell the stewardess like how sorry I was that she was
• 13:23
  going to have to clean up my vomit.
• 13:24
  Anyway, oh, it was the worst.
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  It was the absolute worst.
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  Very embarrassing, but also hilarious.
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  That's happened to me on more than one occasion.
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  30.
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  Question number 30.
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  When did you last cry in front of another person?
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  And when did you last
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  cry by yourself?
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  Hmm.
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  I mean, I can cry just watching someone else cry on the TV.
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  I like
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  physically can't help it.
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  It like forces me to start crying and not crying, like full on crying,
• 14:03
  but like, for example, I was watching Jeremy Clarkson's farm season six and an animal dies
• 14:14
  on the farm, which is super normal because it's a farm.
• 14:18
  And I was like there crying, being like,
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  oh no, why?
• 14:22
  Um, so that was like, you know, a week ago.
• 14:26
  Um, last time I cried by myself,
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  I feel like a big cry
• 14:39
  is less frequent and really when I get overwhelmed it's always guaranteed always work related
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  and then I feel better once I've had a big cry
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  it's something to do with like a stress work stress related thing um
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  and when did I last properly cry in front of another person besides PA
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  can't think of a time can't think of a time not often
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  31 I feel like this is a bit of a double up from the earlier one tell your partner something that
• 15:22
  you like about them already I think this one in a friendship supper club setting would be
• 15:31
  again tell the person on your other side something you like about them already
• 15:38
  but to me that's a little bit similar to the one from earlier question number 32
• 15:46
  oh this is a good one what if anything is too serious to be joked about
• 15:57
  well we have many things absolutely anything to do with violence against women
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  jokes around any kind of assault degrading belittling
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  that whole sphere of things that and even to the level of like judgment for other people's choices
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  um I'm not about it at all any kind of anything in that sphere is just like not okay um
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  yeah that's my answer
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  33 if you were to die tonight with no opportunity to communicate with anyone
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  what would you most regret not having told someone and why haven't you told them yet
• 17:18
  oh maybe I would regret
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  not telling my mom
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  you know how much I love cherish adore her and
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  my upbringing I'm not a great communicator
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  probably as you can tell um yeah I think that that kind of like deeper those deeper conversations
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  with her I would regret that
• 18:05
  question number 34
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  your house containing everything you own catches fire after saving your loved ones and pets
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  you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item what would it be and why
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  oh um so my favorite possessions that i own is my engagement ring it is the i'm not wearing it
• 18:35
  right now, but it's the most beautiful piece of treasure that I've ever seen in my life.
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  I think that every single day and every single time I look at it.
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  So if I wasn't wearing it,
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  I would want that.
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  And it's vintage.
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  Well, it's actually antique.
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  It's from 1905.
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  So
• 18:53
  I would definitely go back for that.
• 18:59
  I have this little doll called Tonton that sits in my cupboard.
• 19:05
  that I've had since I was a little girl from my mum's mum, from my other grandma.
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  And I don't look at her very often, but I really love her.
• 19:16
  She's so cute.
• 19:18
  That would be number two.
• 19:21
  Actually, maybe number two would be,
• 19:27
  I guess photos can be reprinted.
• 19:29
  We have a lot of film photos and a lot of film albums.
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  So they're replaceable.
• 19:37
  Yeah.
• 19:38
  Okay.
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  My engagement ring and my doll, Ton Ton.
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  I feel like I'm going to have to put a photo of her on the screen.
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  I'm going to have to pull her
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  out.
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  She hasn't been out of the cupboard for a while.
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  She's really cute.
• 19:50
  I used to have this
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  pillow since I was, you know, born called Poe and Poe got thrown out by hotel management
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  in like 2016 and I still think about it.
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  It still makes me sad.
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  Even though,
• 20:15
  you know, it was an old pillow.
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  It was kind of gross.
• 20:17
  My grandma used to try and bribe me into
• 20:19
  throwing it out with lots of different things and I would never, but I would let her put it
• 20:24
  in the freezer and in the washing machine.
• 20:28
  But that would actually be number two if it was still
• 20:32
  around.
• 20:36
  35 of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing and why?
• 20:45
  I mean, PA, my husband, he is my other half and my limb.
• 20:54
  I would not cope with that.
• 20:58
  Um,
• 21:01
  and then my mom of course
• 21:08
  36 share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how she or he might handle it
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  and ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you've
• 21:23
  chosen a personal problem damn I went straight to work because I've got plenty okay a personal
• 21:31
  problem I guess a personal problem that I have is often linked to burnout and just like overwhelm
• 21:47
  and making sure I manage my like nervous system correctly
• 21:53
  PA would definitely have thoughts on how he would handle it or how I should handle it.
• 22:01
  And ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you've
• 22:07
  chosen.
• 22:07
  Yeah, I mean, I'd feel pretty good about solving those problems.
• 22:12
  I mean, it links into work
• 22:13
  a little bit and is a result of work.
• 22:20
  I think if this was being done
• 22:24
  in the friendship setting.
• 22:29
  This question would be more around sharing a personal problem
• 22:35
  to someone sitting next to you and get their advice on how they would handle it.
• 22:42
  And the second part of the question I would drop off.
• 22:47
  Okay, that was the 36 questions.
• 22:50
  I feel like the third one was easier.
• 22:52
  I feel like it actually was harder from the first set of 12 to the second to the third,
• 22:58
  but it was interesting.
• 22:59
  I would love to know what you think.
• 23:03
  I imagine you probably know me better
• 23:08
  having gone through those 36 questions, but I'm excited for the flip side.
• 23:15
  I'm excited for anyone
• 23:17
  who wants to be part of the experiment, who wants to kind of join the next phase, and especially
• 23:24
  the events, we are going to be hosting IRL events with these questions.
• 23:32
  And if you're listening,
• 23:35
  come and be part of it.
• 23:38
  That's the friendship experiment.
• 23:40
  Thanks for playing.