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In the Face of Disaster - Helping Others who Experience Trauma · Talking FACS

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Welcome to Talking Facts.
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What you need to know about family food finance and fitness.
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This nationally recognized award winning podcast is hosted by the University of Kentucky Family and Consumer Sciences Extension Program.
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Our educators share research knowledge with individuals,
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families and communities to improve quality of life.
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Hello and welcome to Talking Facts.
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What you need to know about family food finance and fitness.
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I am your host,
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Mindy mcculley Extension Specialist for instructional support at the University of Kentucky.
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When natural disaster strikes,
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it not only impacts our own family but often entire neighborhoods or communities in the face of disaster.
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A disaster preparedness and response program presented by Family and Consumer Sciences Extension at the University of Kentucky seeks to give families the resources they need to prepare for a natural disaster before it occurs and rebound in the aftermath.
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My guest today is Doctor Paul Nord Extension Specialist for rural health and farm safety.
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Welcome,
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Paul.
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I'm so glad you're joining me.
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Thanks Mandy.
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It's good to be here today.
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So we are going to talk about helping others who experience trauma and I know that this is going to be an important discussion because there are people all around us who experience trauma that we might have noticed or might not have noticed.
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And so if we can recognize those signs of trauma in others,
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then maybe we can be of assistance.
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Yes.
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Uh,
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we've talked a little bit about that Mindy in prior podcasts in terms of recognizing trauma.
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And again,
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you know,
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trauma is just uh the,
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the stress that our body experiences,
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that's not normal daily stress or even uh difficult life stressor.
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But it's from a,
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an event that's physically threatening or uh emotional or hurtful.
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A lot of times trauma happens after like a natural disaster,
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the death of a spouse,
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a parent,
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a motor vehicle accident,
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you know,
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it could even be from having a substantial farm injury.
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You know,
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a traumatic injury can be trauma as well.
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And so,
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you know,
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there are signs and symptoms of trauma and uh there are some things as you've noted that we can do to help others to handle their trauma that are both immediate tasks that we can uh do use and then some other things down the road to help others.
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Let's start off with those immediate things that we can do to help others cope with their trauma.
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The the very first and this,
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this is uh think of this as a thread running through your entire help.
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Like just just what you need to do all the time is that interactions,
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we want interactions to be compassionate,
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calm and helpful.
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It's important to listen.
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It's important to talk calma calmly.
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Um keep an open posture because people who've experienced trauma either immediately after the event or even long term,
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you know,
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they,
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they,
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they may be angry,
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they,
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they may be fearful immediately after the event.
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They may be in shock.
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When we experience the stress of the traumatic event,
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we may be unable to uh verbalize needs,
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verbalize what we need.
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So it's just important for us to be calm,
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compassionate and helpful.
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Then the second thing after,
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immediately after the event,
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so we're talking within the first three months,
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uh like a day to the first three months,
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we always want to prioritize physical safety and basic needs.
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That's food,
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water,
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clothing,
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shelter,
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safety,
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think of safety.
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That's just to prevent further injury and loss of life and shelters.
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Just an undamaged area place that's warm,
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that's dry,
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you know,
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dry,
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clean clothing,
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socks.
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Um I've worked with people who've experienced a natural disaster and clean dry socks.
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There's something to clean dry socks.
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And a lot of times we don't think of those things and then just bottled water and then undamaged nonperishable foods.
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And then the other part of that is asking people,
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what do you need from me?
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Because you may be trying to give somebody a bottle of water,
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but on there,
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but they may need socks,
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they may need a pair of pants,
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right?
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And so it's important to take those sort of uh,
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basic needs,
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food,
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water,
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clothing,
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shelter,
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and safety,
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and then allow the individual to prioritize those and giving the help that's needed is so much more beneficial to the person than giving the help that we want to give.
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Yeah,
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we,
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we need to prioritize what they need.
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And so it's not the time to give advice or opinions.
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Right.
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Listeners may be thinking,
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well,
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how does that relate to somebody who experiences who experienced trauma?
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And they're now a year or two down the road when we re experience the emotion of the event?
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A lot of times we don't prioritize our basic needs.
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We don't prioritize eating on time.
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We don't prioritize our routine.
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Uh We may engage in unsafe practices like using alcohol or substances.
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This is just a,
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it's a theme that needs to run through helping others uh prioritize their basic needs,
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being calm and compassionate and offering information and not advice.
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And then the other thing,
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we need to look for the symptoms and provide support,
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Mindy again,
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actively listening.
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What do you need versus what I think you need.
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Um Telling people you care about them.
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How many times,
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man,
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have you ever had somebody tell someone,
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tell you they care about you and you felt bad afterwards.
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It just generally doesn't happen.
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Right.
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Mhm.
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Well,
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and I,
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so I'm thinking about the last summer I had um a little surgery and the tendency is to let's feed these people who have had surgery.
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Right.
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Let's,
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let's give them food.
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So we'll take in covered dishes and they'll have so many covered dishes that it becomes a challenge to try to figure out how to store everything or how to preserve everything so that you don't have to,
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you know,
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you don't waste anything because that's how we are.
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We're wired,
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we don't want to waste stuff.
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But a friend of mine gave me a gift card for a restaurant and I thought now that's genius because I can use that when I need it when I want to.
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And I'm not having to try to figure out how to store that,
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you know,
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and I was so appreciative of that gift.
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All,
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not that I was not appreciative of all the people who gave me covered dishes that was very helpful and I didn't have to prepare food after having surgery.
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But also I,
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I thought,
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you know,
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I've had more covered dishes than I had place in the refrigerator and freezer to store.
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So given that gift card was a great,
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great way to show the,
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the compassion without putting more work on the person who is dealing with the traumatic event.
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Exactly.
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We don't want to put a burden on that person.
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And so those are tangible resources,
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right?
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A gift card is a tangible resource and it doesn't force you to have to process more information.
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Right?
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And so again that,
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that information is important that it's tangible,
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that it's easy to digest so to speak.
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And then this is important too.
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You know,
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if,
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if someone's experienced trauma and you're helping them,
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we,
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we don't want to say,
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you know,
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I understand what you're going through because you don't understand what they're going through.
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Right.
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I,
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I remember you understand that they're going through something difficult but you don't know exactly what it is.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Exactly.
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And we just don't understand it because we're not them and we can empathize and know that it's painful and,
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uh,
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we don't make promises,
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just don't make promises.
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Well,
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we'll get you through this,
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we'll get your house back or,
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uh,
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things will get better with time.
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Just don't make promises because at the end of the day,
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those promises can go unfulfilled and then you've just breached your trust and,
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and again,
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we've,
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we've,
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uh,
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breached that compassion,
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caring and,
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uh,
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we never,
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this is important,
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mindy.
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And,
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uh I worked ems fire and I've seen some pretty difficult things in my life.
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It's not stuff that I talk about.
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I always get people.
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What's the worst thing you ever saw?
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We don't want to ask people to share their traumatic experiences.
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I don't wanna tell you the worst things I've ever seen because I'm,
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I'm then having to relive the event in my life.
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We do not want people who experience trauma to relive the event.
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We don't want them to recount that very troubling,
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emotionally painful worst event in their life.
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You can support people without knowing details.
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That's such an important point.
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And,
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and it makes,
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takes me back to my grandfather who was a World World War Two veteran and he never talked about his experience in World War Two until he was in his nineties.
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Well,
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I guess eighties and when he did talk about it,
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I said,
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granddaddy,
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why have you never talked about this before?
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And he said,
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I didn't want to bring that experience into my home.
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And that was powerful for me that,
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you know,
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he experienced it in Europe.
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He did not want to bring it home to where he lived and,
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and spent time with his family.
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100%.
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And what it,
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it's interesting.
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Now,
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decades later,
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we know that had your grandfather shared those horrid details of those events that he witnessed.
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He,
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you would have gone through secondary trauma exposure because you're hearing.
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And so you can actually get experience some trauma by asking people to recount their trauma.
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It's important not to do that.
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You know,
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when your grandfather,
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uh you know,
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he,
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he's acknowledging his emotions.
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And so you ask him that question,
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you know,
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you're encouraging,
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what,
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what's going on,
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what what,
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what are you feeling?
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What are you going through?
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He's like,
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that's such a painful time.
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That's an emotion,
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pains in emotion,
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right?
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It's not just physical,
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it's emotional pain and we want to be flexible you know,
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that's an important part to working with others remain flexible.
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People don't have to do what we think they need to do.
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Again.
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It's not giving advice,
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it's giving information.
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Um You know,
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an example of that is,
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you know,
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what number do I call to?
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I need to talk to somebody about these feelings.
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How can I get some help?
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You know,
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where can I go to get,
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you know,
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some clean clothes,
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you know,
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who in the community,
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you know,
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where can we get food?
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Where can we reach out for resources?
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It's just very simple,
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tangible pieces of information.
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Mindy,
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here's a gift card when you're ready to use it.
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Let me know and I'll go pick up the food for you.
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Right.
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I've got the tangible tangible resource available and I'm not overwhelming you.
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I'm following up with that support and then,
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um,
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I,
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I want to close with this,
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I guess real quick,
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Mindy is that,
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you know,
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we also need to watch for signs of crisis in people who've experienced trauma and that's just feeling hopeless and,
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and helpless that can lead to thoughts of suicide and even lead to suicide,
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you know,
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increased alcohol or substance misuse and then just isolating,
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you know,
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not finding activities that were normally enjoyable,
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enjoyable,
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just don't want to do anything anymore.
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I'm not happy.
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Those are signs of crisis and people need to be connected with the crisis.
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Specialists at that point.
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Thank you.
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Paul for spending the time with us to discuss this very important topic.
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Thank you,
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Mindy.
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I appreciate you having me today.
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And as you mentioned,
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there are resources that are available within communities and we encourage people to reach out to their local extension office um because they can sometimes be the the conduit that can help people find those,
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those resources.
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And then we also have some,
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we have some publications that we will link in the show notes that people can access to find more information.
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Yes,
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they,
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they're welcome to uh use their resources,
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you know,
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reach out to their county agent.
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And then I always like to say,
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you know,
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you can text or call 988 as well.
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If you feel like you need to speak with a professional.
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I love that that resource is available to everyone.
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Whether they are the person experiencing the traumatic event or the stressful event or if they know of someone who's experiencing that event.
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Right.
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Correct.
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