Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Turning the Page To 2023 With Manoj Dias, Co-Founder of Open

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Turning the Page To 2023 With Manoj Dias, Co-Founder of Open · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

0:00
Speaker 1: Life presents us these opportunities to trust, to listen, to
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Speaker 1: be courageous, and sometimes we fall over and we land
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Speaker 1: in our face, and sometimes we land somewhere much more beautiful.
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Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, EMILYA Badi here.
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Speaker 3: You are listening to Hurdle, a wellness focus podcast where
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Speaker 3: connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts
0:34
Speaker 3: and industry CEOs about their highest ties, toughest moments, and
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Speaker 3: everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life,
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Speaker 3: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you
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Speaker 3: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that
0:48
Speaker 3: you can stride towards your own big potential and of
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Speaker 3: course have some fun along the way. We are back
0:55
Speaker 3: for episode two of this week's Turning the Page series.
0:59
Speaker 3: You are just joining us. Hey, Hello, welcome, Happy to
1:03
Speaker 3: have you here. The annual Turning the Page series is
1:07
Speaker 3: when I sit down with some of your favorite guests
1:11
Speaker 3: from the last three sixty five to chat about what lessons.
1:13
Speaker 2: They're bringing with them into the new year.
1:16
Speaker 3: Each guest gives us some highlights from their past year,
1:20
Speaker 3: they offer up a word that they're focusing on in
1:23
Speaker 3: the new year, and then share some advice on how
1:26
Speaker 3: to move through the next fifty two weeks with grace
1:30
Speaker 3: and a positive outlook. We kicked things off yesterday with
1:34
Speaker 3: the one and only Kira Demato and today I am electrified.
1:38
Speaker 3: I was trying to use an adjective that wasn't just excited,
1:41
Speaker 3: electrified to bring my friend Minaj Dias back to the show.
1:47
Speaker 3: Minaj is the co founder of Open. He's also their
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Speaker 3: vice president of mindfulness, plus an author his debut book
1:55
Speaker 3: Still Together, sitting on my coffee table as I record this,
2:00
Speaker 3: as you may know, is one of the sponsors of Hurdle.
2:03
Speaker 3: I met Minaj when I was out in Los Angeles
2:06
Speaker 3: at the beginning of last year, and man, we connect
2:09
Speaker 3: on how much has happened since that time, what's new
2:12
Speaker 3: and exciting that's going on for Open? And it's kind
2:15
Speaker 3: of funny for me as I edited and listened to
2:18
Speaker 3: this through because it was.
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Speaker 2: The second time that I listened to his voice. Today.
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Speaker 3: I have been meditating and doing breathwork with the Open
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Speaker 3: app now for gosh, probably about six months, and it
2:31
Speaker 3: is the first time through using this app that I
2:33
Speaker 3: have been able to keep up with a regular breathwork practice.
2:38
Speaker 2: They are currently.
2:39
Speaker 3: Doing a thirty day challenge over there, and I would
2:42
Speaker 3: highly encourage you to check it out. If you want
2:44
Speaker 3: a free thirty days, I've got a book up for you.
2:47
Speaker 3: Head on over to with Open dot Com slash Hurdle again.
2:51
Speaker 3: That is with Open dot Com slash Hurdle anyway, Minaj
2:56
Speaker 3: So many, so many, so many great takeaways in today's
2:59
Speaker 3: episodis with a theme of resilience and showing up when
3:04
Speaker 3: life feels tough to make some pretty big decisions. Make
3:08
Speaker 3: sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social It's
3:10
Speaker 3: at Hurdle Podcast. I am over at Emily a Body
3:13
Speaker 3: and if you're listening to this in real time, a
3:15
Speaker 3: few spots left for tomorrow night school setting workshop. Link
3:18
Speaker 3: to join is in the show notes. Today, I am
3:27
Speaker 3: sitting down with my friend Minaj ds. He is the
3:31
Speaker 3: co founder and vice president of Mindfulness at Open.
3:35
Speaker 2: How are you doing.
3:36
Speaker 1: I'm doing great. I'm doing really good. It's nice to
3:39
Speaker 1: be back in the hot seat with you.
3:41
Speaker 2: Back in the hot seat. I know.
3:43
Speaker 3: The last time we got together, I feel like it
3:45
Speaker 3: was one of the first We're getting back into the groove.
3:49
Speaker 3: We're doing this in person situations and it was just
3:51
Speaker 3: so special. For me to have the opportunity to sit
3:54
Speaker 3: down with you. I r l in uh Over in
3:57
Speaker 3: Los Angeles, So this is a little bit farther than
3:59
Speaker 3: I would like, but I'll take it.
4:01
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean it's a shame last time we had
4:03
Speaker 1: you in our studio and it was the first, I
4:05
Speaker 1: think an only podcast I've done in our studios. So
4:09
Speaker 1: it's nice to be with you again and on your
4:12
Speaker 1: on your terms this time.
4:14
Speaker 2: Appreciate you. Appreciate you, so give us the rundown.
4:18
Speaker 3: Talk to me about what has been going on in
4:21
Speaker 3: your world since we last spoke.
4:24
Speaker 1: Well end of January. I mean so much, right, like
4:28
Speaker 1: so much on a personal and professional level. On a
4:32
Speaker 1: professional level, we've been scaling our digital app, which has
4:36
Speaker 1: been going really great. We've been recruiting lots of teachers
4:40
Speaker 1: because we're about to open a studio in Venice and
4:43
Speaker 1: then we're building one in Miami, which has been a
4:46
Speaker 1: lot of fun. And then also lots of travel, Like
4:49
Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of interviews and podcasts this
4:52
Speaker 1: ye us, so getting out to places like Austin and
4:55
Speaker 1: places out in Florida. I'm going to sell like a
4:58
Speaker 1: deer in the headlights, moving and navigating through the US,
5:01
Speaker 1: So anytime I get to go anywhere, I'm super excited.
5:04
Speaker 1: So it's been a lot, but it's also been really,
5:06
Speaker 1: really tiring. I think I realized that, and maybe a
5:09
Speaker 1: lot of people can resonate with this. When you love something,
5:12
Speaker 1: when you're really passionate about something, your body gives you
5:16
Speaker 1: a yes straight away to most opportunities. But then you
5:19
Speaker 1: have to really check in with yourself and notice your
5:22
Speaker 1: energy levels. And it's something that I constantly get caught
5:26
Speaker 1: up in, is I forget like how much I love
5:28
Speaker 1: what I do, but then I'm also exhausted to the
5:30
Speaker 1: point where I sometimes get burnt out, which I know
5:34
Speaker 1: is not great for a VP of mindfulness, but that's
5:37
Speaker 1: the reality.
5:39
Speaker 3: At least it starts with being honest with yourself, right,
5:42
Speaker 3: And I think that's a really important point. Is that
5:46
Speaker 3: just because you have to say no to something, that
5:50
Speaker 3: might not mean and that won't mean necessarily no forever.
5:53
Speaker 3: It just might be you again, as you're saying being
5:57
Speaker 3: honest about your bandwidth and then moving forward from there,
6:00
Speaker 3: maybe it's not right now, you know?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, agree, And I think it's also paying a lot
6:05
Speaker 1: of attention to the physical feeling of your experience. And
6:10
Speaker 1: you know, something that I've had to really work on
6:11
Speaker 1: over the last five years is really, first of all,
6:14
Speaker 1: listening to my body and noticing what it's saying and
6:16
Speaker 1: then actually taking a decision based on what I'm feeling.
6:20
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's that's my work, is constantly trusting what
6:24
Speaker 1: my body is telling me to do.
6:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, So it seems like that was a really big
6:28
Speaker 3: lesson for you in twenty twenty two. When you think
6:32
Speaker 3: about the last three sixty five, what else comes to
6:35
Speaker 3: mind in terms of lessons that you were really taking
6:40
Speaker 3: to heart over the past year.
6:43
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there's there's a lot of personal lessons,
6:46
Speaker 1: you know, outside of my work that I've been really navigating.
6:50
Speaker 1: You know, this last year, I lost my mother. That's
6:53
Speaker 1: like the first close family member that I've lost. That
7:00
Speaker 1: was a really big learning lesson for me. I think
7:04
Speaker 1: any time you come into contact with loss and grief,
7:09
Speaker 1: it really begins to shape how you look at the world.
7:13
Speaker 1: And for me, that lesson of losing my mum really
7:17
Speaker 1: showed me one thing around you know, what's really important
7:20
Speaker 1: in your life, And I'd like to think I'm pretty
7:23
Speaker 1: mindful of what's really important of my life through throughout
7:26
Speaker 1: my day, but you know, you get caught up in
7:29
Speaker 1: things that you realize ultimately don't really mean that much,
7:34
Speaker 1: and you start to reevaluate where you allocate your time.
7:37
Speaker 1: In terms of what I learned from that experience was
7:40
Speaker 1: to really value and cherish and save the time I
7:43
Speaker 1: have with my close people, check in on them, tell
7:47
Speaker 1: them I love them, don't wait to do that. And also,
7:52
Speaker 1: you know, coming back, just recognizing how lucky I am
7:55
Speaker 1: to have what I have, this body, this area, these friends,
8:01
Speaker 1: these privileges. So that's probably the biggest lesson that I
8:05
Speaker 1: learned this year was to really just hunker down and
8:10
Speaker 1: focus on what matters.
8:13
Speaker 3: Is it challenging at times to find that balance between
8:19
Speaker 3: focusing maybe on what matters and what's important to you,
8:22
Speaker 3: but also execute on things that you may more so
8:26
Speaker 3: have to do.
8:31
Speaker 1: I think you get to a stage, you know, I
8:34
Speaker 1: just turned forty, and for me, there's a realization that
8:39
Speaker 1: the things that I have to do and the things
8:41
Speaker 1: that I want to do, like it's probably time that
8:44
Speaker 1: I start to make them kind of similar, right, And
8:48
Speaker 1: we don't all have that luxury or privilege for sure,
8:51
Speaker 1: But I think the older you get saying no, it's
8:54
Speaker 1: probably the greatest superpower that you have because you can
8:57
Speaker 1: really honor that. And sometimes we have to do things
9:00
Speaker 1: because we have to make a living. You know, I
9:02
Speaker 1: do things because of work that I may not always
9:05
Speaker 1: choose to do. But there is a balance, for sure
9:08
Speaker 1: between doing what has to get done and then doing
9:11
Speaker 1: what's deeply personal and meaningful.
9:14
Speaker 2: Definitely, definitely.
9:16
Speaker 3: So when you think also about the past year, you're
9:20
Speaker 3: someone who definitely has some rituals, some habits in your
9:24
Speaker 3: life that are meaningful to you. What would you say,
9:28
Speaker 3: is perhaps a new habit that you've picked up over
9:32
Speaker 3: the last year that you've seen to be really beneficial.
9:35
Speaker 1: Oh, well, there's been two. One is this really new
9:39
Speaker 1: concept for me. It's called cardio. You know, my family
9:45
Speaker 1: has heart diseases in the family, and so I had
9:49
Speaker 1: a few health scares in the back end of last
9:52
Speaker 1: year and this year I was like, I need to
9:56
Speaker 1: get fit and healthy. And all I've ever really done
9:58
Speaker 1: is lift weights or do yoga. I'm not much of
10:02
Speaker 1: a runner, you know, I haven't done much else. And
10:05
Speaker 1: I just started doing like cardiol I was like using
10:08
Speaker 1: YouTube for a little while and then like different apps
10:11
Speaker 1: and there's a lot of research that I looked into around,
10:15
Speaker 1: you know, stimulating your heart rate early on in the
10:18
Speaker 1: day and how that influences the rest of your day.
10:20
Speaker 1: And it had like a like I would only do
10:23
Speaker 1: twenty or thirty minutes straight after meditating, and it really
10:26
Speaker 1: changed the complexion of my day. And so now integrating
10:29
Speaker 1: that more holistically into my routine, like three days a week,
10:32
Speaker 1: has been really beneficial. And the second thing is an
10:36
Speaker 1: afternoon breathwork practice. Breathwork something that I've been teaching for
10:40
Speaker 1: about three or four years. I used to do it
10:43
Speaker 1: more sporadically, you know, I would I do it every
10:46
Speaker 1: day when I meditate, but it's a very gentle form
10:48
Speaker 1: of practice. I would do more of an activating like
10:51
Speaker 1: a sympathetic activating breathwork practice while in the afternoons around
10:57
Speaker 1: three four o'clock, and it replaced like my afternoon and coffee,
11:01
Speaker 1: and so I found that to be really helpful as well.
11:04
Speaker 1: So those two routines are probably the ones that have
11:07
Speaker 1: had the most impact.
11:07
Speaker 2: On I love that phrase, the complexion of my day.
11:11
Speaker 2: That's like really great.
11:12
Speaker 3: I'm going to try to use that in a sentence
11:14
Speaker 3: asap because so many people look to you, you know,
11:16
Speaker 3: like I listened to Open regularly. I use the app
11:19
Speaker 3: every single day. For me, I look to you and
11:23
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, well, this is my you know, this
11:25
Speaker 3: is my guy, Like he must have it all together.
11:27
Speaker 3: Do you feel pressure sometimes to have it all together
11:31
Speaker 3: because you're talking about something that other people may not
11:34
Speaker 3: think twice about cardio but they can't do breathwork, Like
11:37
Speaker 3: it just feels like coming together, a recognition of the
11:39
Speaker 3: give and take, right, Yeah, I think.
11:41
Speaker 1: It comes with the territory. I remember once in Australia,
11:45
Speaker 1: maybe four years ago, I was getting a beer with
11:47
Speaker 1: a friend and someone's like, my meditation teacher drinks beer
11:51
Speaker 1: and I was like, I mean I have one every
11:55
Speaker 1: now and again, and it was like I was really
11:57
Speaker 1: in my head about the whole experience. I was like,
11:59
Speaker 1: holy shit, like doing the wrong thing. And I think
12:02
Speaker 1: over the years, I've kind of learned that it just
12:03
Speaker 1: kind of comes with the territory. And how I've approached
12:08
Speaker 1: my life is through this sense of balance and curiosity
12:12
Speaker 1: and exploration, which are all elements of mindfulness. So yeah,
12:16
Speaker 1: I mean I think the older I get, I have
12:18
Speaker 1: to take care of my physical wellbeing as much as
12:21
Speaker 1: I have to take care of my mental well being.
12:24
Speaker 3: Definitely, what would you say has been one of the
12:28
Speaker 3: biggest hurdles for you. I know you spoke about the
12:30
Speaker 3: loss of your mother, but aside from that, what else
12:34
Speaker 3: was challenging for you in twenty twenty two?
12:36
Speaker 1: Trying to really understand what it is I want from
12:39
Speaker 1: my life. I think that was the other big exploration.
12:45
Speaker 1: You know, before month passed away, I had I was
12:50
Speaker 1: in a long term relationship and then that ended, and
12:54
Speaker 1: you know, it felt like, oh, I had this sense
12:57
Speaker 1: of what I thought I wanted after that relationship ended
13:00
Speaker 1: with my life, you know, I wanted big experiences. I
13:04
Speaker 1: wanted to have freedom. I wanted to have all of
13:07
Speaker 1: these things that I had a taste of for eighteen months,
13:11
Speaker 1: and it's included with you know, different work opportunities and
13:14
Speaker 1: things like that. But when Mom passed away, there was
13:17
Speaker 1: a kind of recognition of how impermanent a lot of
13:20
Speaker 1: those experiences are and how you know, ultimately at the
13:24
Speaker 1: end of my life, I wish to be surrounded by kids,
13:28
Speaker 1: my kids, my family. I want to have a peaceful
13:32
Speaker 1: life and the way I think the things that I
13:36
Speaker 1: was searching for and the things that I were chasing
13:38
Speaker 1: weren't really in alignment with that. So I started to
13:41
Speaker 1: develop more of a long term perspective and a long
13:44
Speaker 1: term mindset, whereas before I had a very narrow mindset,
13:49
Speaker 1: And so really understanding what my heart wanted was a
13:53
Speaker 1: big exploration. You know, do I really want these shiny,
13:58
Speaker 1: temporary things or do I want some thing that feels
14:00
Speaker 1: more nourishing and sustainable that might take a longer time.
14:04
Speaker 1: And listening to the heart was a really big practice
14:08
Speaker 1: for me, because I don't think I have done it
14:11
Speaker 1: so intensely as I did the last fourteen months.
14:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, so many of us can certainly relate to that.
14:20
Speaker 3: I know I can this concept of head versus heart.
14:23
Speaker 3: Right For someone who hears your story and wants to
14:30
Speaker 3: be a little bit more perhaps intuitive in twenty twenty three,
14:34
Speaker 3: what advice would you have to offer them?
14:37
Speaker 1: Well, first, there's two stages to that. First there is
14:40
Speaker 1: the listening. Then there is the action that precedes that.
14:43
Speaker 1: The listening for me always comes from the body, and
14:47
Speaker 1: the body for me is a place that I haven't
14:50
Speaker 1: existed in for a long period of time. And what
14:53
Speaker 1: I mean by that is I had a lot of
14:54
Speaker 1: anxiety you know, growing up as a child at a
14:57
Speaker 1: whole host of mental mental health issues in my adolescence,
15:02
Speaker 1: and there was a disconnection between my head and my body.
15:05
Speaker 1: And as a result of that, there was a disconnection
15:08
Speaker 1: between me and my intuition or me in this connection
15:12
Speaker 1: to my gut as they say. And so I had
15:14
Speaker 1: to re establish that. I had to re establish that
15:17
Speaker 1: by noticing throughout my day what I was feeling and
15:21
Speaker 1: not bringing my mind and my cognition into that experience.
15:26
Speaker 1: Is to just check in, like, okay, am I feeling
15:28
Speaker 1: anxious in this conversation as an example, and like where
15:32
Speaker 1: do I feel that anxiety? Oh, it's in my chest? Okay,
15:34
Speaker 1: Like what does that feel like? What does that look like?
15:36
Speaker 1: What does that? Does it have a shape? Does it
15:38
Speaker 1: have a color? And all of these little exercises just
15:41
Speaker 1: build a sense of connection with our feeling world. And
15:45
Speaker 1: when we have that sense of connection with our feeling world,
15:47
Speaker 1: over time we can start to notice what messages the
15:51
Speaker 1: feeling world is communicating to us. And so now you know,
15:55
Speaker 1: when I'm in the presence of someone and I feel
15:57
Speaker 1: really safe, I can feel that, you know, I'm like
16:00
Speaker 1: I feel really safe with you. We've chatted a couple
16:03
Speaker 1: of times now, so it's like, ah, it's just like
16:04
Speaker 1: a homie. It feels like very easy and safe. And
16:08
Speaker 1: so that's a message that my body is sending. But
16:12
Speaker 1: for many people and myself included, we don't have that
16:15
Speaker 1: ability to first become aware of what our body is
16:18
Speaker 1: connecting to, so that takes a lot of work. The
16:21
Speaker 1: second stage is to trust what our body is saying. Right,
16:24
Speaker 1: if my body is saying okay, you know, leave this relationship,
16:27
Speaker 1: or go for this job, or take this opportunity, it
16:31
Speaker 1: takes a lot of work to encourage to actually listen
16:34
Speaker 1: to that. So that is trial and error, and that
16:38
Speaker 1: is really trusting your own innate talents and ability. So
16:42
Speaker 1: for people that are listening, first listen and then when
16:45
Speaker 1: your body is communicating to you it might not be
16:47
Speaker 1: the message that you thought that you wanted to hear,
16:50
Speaker 1: but then have the courage to act on it is
16:52
Speaker 1: what I would.
16:53
Speaker 3: Say, courage is a really big part of that, right
16:56
Speaker 3: because I'm thinking about what you're saying and really from it.
17:01
Speaker 3: A similar lesson that I had over the past year,
17:04
Speaker 3: which was to really pay attention again to how I
17:08
Speaker 3: feel when I leave people, and I do agree that
17:12
Speaker 3: it takes a certain level of courage to admit to
17:15
Speaker 3: yourself that maybe you feel different now than you used to,
17:20
Speaker 3: acknowledging that, respecting that, and then like making an informed
17:25
Speaker 3: decision that is what you need based on that information. Again, challenging,
17:31
Speaker 3: and that is a thing that comes hand in hand
17:34
Speaker 3: as we get older, right, our relationships ebb and flow,
17:37
Speaker 3: and so to show up to that challenge and to
17:39
Speaker 3: show up for yourself within that challenge.
17:42
Speaker 2: It's it's a tough it's a tough thing to do.
17:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm that's part of the beautiful. It's the beautiful
17:50
Speaker 1: aspect of our lives that we're constantly invited to become
17:54
Speaker 1: bigger versions of ourselves. And I think that's that's part
17:57
Speaker 1: of it, is that you know, life presents us these
18:00
Speaker 1: opportunities to trust, to listen, to be courageous, and sometimes
18:05
Speaker 1: we fall over and we land in our face and
18:07
Speaker 1: sometimes we land somewhere much more beautiful. But I think
18:10
Speaker 1: getting familiar with this part of our experience enables us
18:16
Speaker 1: to feel like it's it's not such a leap. Next time,
18:19
Speaker 1: you know, like we've done something hard, we know we
18:21
Speaker 1: can survive that. So next time it becomes easier and easier.
18:30
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Speaker 3: E to try Whoop free for thirty days. All you've
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Speaker 3: got to do is pay shipping. Let's get back to
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Speaker 3: the episode. To your point, you don't land somewhere if
21:40
Speaker 3: you don't take off first, right, so just that journey
21:44
Speaker 3: of starting can truly be a lesson than itself to
21:48
Speaker 3: empower you to go after that next big challenge. Now,
21:53
Speaker 3: as you said at the top of this, open in
21:55
Speaker 3: expansion mode, opening up huh no pun intend studio space
22:02
Speaker 3: outside of where you already are. What would you say
22:06
Speaker 3: in this You know, these early phases still has been
22:10
Speaker 3: one of perhaps the biggest takeaways you've had as.
22:14
Speaker 1: A leader of the company. It's kind of remembering once again,
22:19
Speaker 1: and I lost this for about a year. It's remembering
22:23
Speaker 1: that people want to be seen above anything else. People really,
22:27
Speaker 1: especially people that report to you and stuff and students,
22:31
Speaker 1: they just really want to be seen. And I think
22:34
Speaker 1: I in the last twelve months was really so caught
22:37
Speaker 1: up in the work of it and the stress of
22:42
Speaker 1: it that, you know, I would show up to a
22:43
Speaker 1: meeting and I'd just be stressed out, and people would
22:46
Speaker 1: look at me and they were like, he looks angry today,
22:49
Speaker 1: or he looks grumpy today. They wouldn't know the context
22:52
Speaker 1: behind it. And so I think the lesson for me
22:57
Speaker 1: is to as a leader. And I think we're all leaders.
23:00
Speaker 1: If we don't necessarily lead anyone, we have that capacity
23:03
Speaker 1: that leads innate leadership within us. It's when whoever we
23:07
Speaker 1: interact with is just to show up with compassion and
23:11
Speaker 1: to show up with authenticity, and to look people in
23:14
Speaker 1: the eye and to genuinely ask them how they're doing.
23:17
Speaker 1: Because those micro moments add up to being so much
23:20
Speaker 1: for someone, you know, for people that might walk through
23:24
Speaker 1: this life and feel like no one really sees them,
23:27
Speaker 1: and to have someone really just take a moment to
23:29
Speaker 1: smile and look at them in the face can be
23:32
Speaker 1: a tremendously uplifting moment. So I think that's a big
23:36
Speaker 1: lesson that I learned over the last twelve months. And
23:38
Speaker 1: the second thing is probably to really always focus on
23:43
Speaker 1: my well being because that gets lost very easily. There's
23:47
Speaker 1: an amazing breakfast burrito place right next to our office
23:51
Speaker 1: that tends to get a lot of my patronage when
23:54
Speaker 1: work is when work is busy, because I can't be
23:57
Speaker 1: bothered walking an extra ten minutes to you know, a
24:00
Speaker 1: sweet green And so, you know, little moments like that
24:03
Speaker 1: where work gets tough or life gets tough and you
24:07
Speaker 1: tend to succumb to old habits or you know, decisions
24:11
Speaker 1: that aren't the healthiest for you can add up and
24:14
Speaker 1: take effect on your body. And so for me, it's
24:16
Speaker 1: just like no, like my mouth is really important. Keep
24:19
Speaker 1: coming back.
24:19
Speaker 3: What did you take from that time of being both
24:23
Speaker 3: of being someone who was navigating hardship while also trying
24:28
Speaker 3: to be someone that was leading a you know, a company,
24:33
Speaker 3: a business.
24:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't easy. It wasn't easy. The lesson that
24:39
Speaker 1: I learned is that it's okay to be honest and
24:42
Speaker 1: tell people that you're struggling. It's okay to be really
24:45
Speaker 1: transparent and to acknowledge where you're at. I think that
24:50
Speaker 1: the way that I handled it was to just compartmentalize
24:53
Speaker 1: what I was feeling emotionally and going through the grief,
24:57
Speaker 1: and then just show up like nothing matters. You know,
25:01
Speaker 1: people then think, yeah, nothing, Maybe maybe he's okay, like
25:04
Speaker 1: he doesn't he's not feeling the grief of his mother's loss.
25:08
Speaker 1: But there was a period of time that people were
25:11
Speaker 1: genuinely thinking like, yeah, he's over it. And my behavior
25:17
Speaker 1: was erratic at that point, like, you know, I wasn't
25:19
Speaker 1: showing up to meetings, and I wasn't present when I
25:23
Speaker 1: was in those meetings, and people didn't really know the
25:26
Speaker 1: true story behind it, because you know, I kept on
25:29
Speaker 1: acting like nothing was wrong. But it was really amazing
25:32
Speaker 1: to see once I was open about what I was
25:34
Speaker 1: going through and I was depressed for a period at
25:36
Speaker 1: that time as well, how people really put their arms
25:40
Speaker 1: around me and there was a lot of compassion for me.
25:43
Speaker 1: So I think transparency and authenticity is really important.
25:48
Speaker 2: Yeah.
25:49
Speaker 3: I have a friend who at her company, her boss
25:53
Speaker 3: took a leave of absence and no one ever found
25:55
Speaker 3: out why the leave of absence occurred, right, and so
25:59
Speaker 3: it was challenged moving forward to navigate you know the scenario,
26:02
Speaker 3: not knowing and not saying that you have to share
26:05
Speaker 3: the inner and outter workings of everything in your personal
26:07
Speaker 3: life with everyone in your office, but just coming to
26:10
Speaker 3: the table with that authenticity and even acknowledging like, hey,
26:14
Speaker 3: I went through a really difficult time.
26:16
Speaker 2: It's something that I'm still going to be struggling with, but.
26:19
Speaker 3: I like this is how it is now right and
26:22
Speaker 3: saying something like that simply just acknowledging kind of like
26:26
Speaker 3: the elephant in the room. Even that level of openness
26:29
Speaker 3: and authenticity can make such a major difference.
26:31
Speaker 1: A huge difference. See. I think just telling people how
26:34
Speaker 1: you feel, like, hey, I'm really not feeling well right
26:37
Speaker 1: now because of this reason, just gives people some insight
26:41
Speaker 1: into what you're going through. And I'm always really amazed
26:45
Speaker 1: at how compassionate people genuinely are. The person that could
26:49
Speaker 1: be the grumpiest person in the office or in your
26:52
Speaker 1: personal life has that seed of caring and warmth within them,
26:57
Speaker 1: and humanity in general, I think really has that. We
27:00
Speaker 1: distrust that for whatever reason, but in my experience, especially
27:04
Speaker 1: over the last year, just being really vulnerable elicits a
27:09
Speaker 1: vulnerable response.
27:10
Speaker 3: When you look back now on the last three sixty five.
27:14
Speaker 3: What would you say is something that you are actually
27:17
Speaker 3: the most proud of yourself for.
27:20
Speaker 1: I'm proud that I didn't run away. There were a
27:23
Speaker 1: lot of instances in relationships as well as at work
27:28
Speaker 1: where I was really challenged, and my innate response has
27:33
Speaker 1: always been to just shut down and run away. And
27:37
Speaker 1: so if I get challenged, if I feel like it's
27:40
Speaker 1: too hard, I'm like I'm out. And I really started
27:44
Speaker 1: to become aware of that this year, and instead of
27:47
Speaker 1: running away, I actually stepped up. You know. I really
27:50
Speaker 1: challenged myself to go into spaces that were uncomfortable, to
27:54
Speaker 1: be extremely vulnerable, to really trust myself and that ability
28:01
Speaker 1: to stay in something when everything in our mind or
28:07
Speaker 1: maybe even in our bodies telling us to leave. It
28:10
Speaker 1: felt like it's a new experience for me, you know,
28:13
Speaker 1: and it's been amazingly rewarding, amazingly rewarding to just have
28:18
Speaker 1: again the faith and the courage that there is something
28:22
Speaker 1: here worth fighting for.
28:24
Speaker 2: How do you know when to choose right?
28:26
Speaker 3: Because I feel like we talk so much about listening
28:30
Speaker 3: to your gut, and if your gut is telling you,
28:32
Speaker 3: like I don't know if this is the right thing
28:33
Speaker 3: but then you found so much clarity and growth through
28:37
Speaker 3: not running away and sticking it out.
28:40
Speaker 2: How do you know which direction to go in?
28:44
Speaker 1: I think that the gut is is what communicates first,
28:47
Speaker 1: you know, like we know, emotions and feelings first really
28:50
Speaker 1: begin in the physical body, and then our mind creates
28:53
Speaker 1: the narrative around what we're feeling. And often what I
28:57
Speaker 1: find is that it's a balancing act between both. Right,
29:00
Speaker 1: Sometimes you can have a very physical, somatic emotional response
29:03
Speaker 1: in the body, but the mind is very pragmatic at
29:06
Speaker 1: that point, and so having a practice that enables you
29:09
Speaker 1: to have the clarity of thinking really helps. And so,
29:14
Speaker 1: you know, there were lots of decisions that I made
29:17
Speaker 1: in this year that I sat on for weeks. I
29:20
Speaker 1: sat on for weeks, if not months. There was one
29:22
Speaker 1: decision that took me four months to make, and I
29:25
Speaker 1: questioned it, I wrote it down, I journaled about it.
29:27
Speaker 1: I spoke to my therapist about it, spoke to my
29:29
Speaker 1: friends about it, I listened to my body. I meditated
29:33
Speaker 1: on all of these different things, and with this particular
29:37
Speaker 1: decision at the end, it was a leap of faith.
29:44
Speaker 1: It was a leap of faith. I'm like, does this
29:47
Speaker 1: feel like it's the right thing, and I thought through
29:49
Speaker 1: all these scenarios, I listened to my body and then
29:52
Speaker 1: sometimes it is just a leap of faith and knowing
29:56
Speaker 1: that if it goes wrong, you're going to be okay.
30:00
Speaker 3: You have me on the edge of my seat here,
30:01
Speaker 3: like trying to hypothesize what the decision is.
30:06
Speaker 2: I won't. I won't broad you.
30:07
Speaker 3: But when you think about twenty twenty three and what's
30:10
Speaker 3: in store for you in the next three sixty five,
30:14
Speaker 3: what excites you right now?
30:16
Speaker 1: I'm excited about being in person with people again. You know,
30:20
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my last three years digitally,
30:23
Speaker 1: you know, with the pandemic and everything like that. But
30:26
Speaker 1: over the last twelve months, we've been doing lots of
30:29
Speaker 1: in person experiences and coming into contact with you know,
30:33
Speaker 1: people that have been meditating with me for six years
30:35
Speaker 1: on the app, and then you know, hearing their stories
30:38
Speaker 1: and then seeing how this practice changes them within the
30:42
Speaker 1: course of fifteen to twenty minutes and how their whole
30:45
Speaker 1: nervous system resets or how they've had a moment of
30:48
Speaker 1: realization has been so beautiful to see. But I'm also
30:52
Speaker 1: excited about the year head there's going to be lots
30:54
Speaker 1: of new things, lots of challenges, and I don't think
30:58
Speaker 1: I've ever felt as bad blence and as courageous as
31:01
Speaker 1: I do right now. And part of that is knowing that,
31:04
Speaker 1: you know, I've gone through so much the last twelve months,
31:06
Speaker 1: and I've come out the other side, and I know
31:08
Speaker 1: what I'm capable of, and I know what my capacity
31:11
Speaker 1: is and I know what my strengths are. So I feel, yeah,
31:15
Speaker 1: I just feel ready for whatever life throws at me.
31:17
Speaker 3: You mentioned into being able to meet people irl that
31:20
Speaker 3: have been practicing with you for some time now. Do
31:23
Speaker 3: you have a favorite story, perhaps from the past year,
31:27
Speaker 3: about either an in person or virtual interaction that really
31:30
Speaker 3: left you with something special?
31:34
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's it's I don't know, I hope
31:36
Speaker 1: what I sound like. I'm conceded when I say this,
31:39
Speaker 1: but I hear it a lot because it's not me.
31:42
Speaker 1: It's generally the practice, right, This practice of breath work
31:45
Speaker 1: and meditation and music can be so transformative when you
31:48
Speaker 1: design it in a certain way. But there was one
31:52
Speaker 1: actually from last night, I told a class this this
31:56
Speaker 1: this these two guys are actually a guy and a
31:59
Speaker 1: girl came out and they were like, hey, Menaja, I
32:02
Speaker 1: want to share with you something. I'm like, what, So,
32:05
Speaker 1: you know, my friend, this girl, she invited me to
32:09
Speaker 1: come to this class. You know, I'd never done breath
32:12
Speaker 1: work before, but I was really curious about it. And
32:15
Speaker 1: I had a really big experience, like a lot of
32:17
Speaker 1: emotions and feelings kind of came up in that class,
32:21
Speaker 1: and I had a realization that, you know, my friend
32:25
Speaker 1: who brought me to class perhaps is more than just
32:29
Speaker 1: a friend. And I never even thought about it before.
32:32
Speaker 1: And then during the subsequent classes they started coming every week,
32:37
Speaker 1: they would have these big experiences. They would cry, and
32:40
Speaker 1: they started holding hands together and yesterday were like, yeah,
32:43
Speaker 1: I mean I'm in love with this woman now, like
32:46
Speaker 1: we're together. And you know, it was after that first
32:50
Speaker 1: class that really we bonded over like what our experience
32:53
Speaker 1: was like. And it was really beautiful because like a
32:55
Speaker 1: lot of it is like, holy shit, I own all
32:58
Speaker 1: this trauma, and you know, I'd been heartbroken and this
33:01
Speaker 1: realization it was kind of nice to have the opposite
33:05
Speaker 1: where you go through this really intense experience and you realize,
33:10
Speaker 1: you know, you love this random person that invited you
33:12
Speaker 1: to a class. So I thought that was really beautiful.
33:15
Speaker 3: I love that. That's such a good story. Now we're
33:18
Speaker 3: on for the rapid fire round. Are you ready?
33:22
Speaker 1: I'm ready?
33:23
Speaker 2: Okay. Do you have a favorite movie of twenty two?
33:27
Speaker 1: Triangle of Sadness?
33:28
Speaker 3: Wow, you are the person. This is the last interview
33:32
Speaker 3: I'm doing in this series. Fastest answer about a movie.
33:34
Speaker 3: It seems that people don't watch as many movies anymore.
33:37
Speaker 1: Oh, I watch way too many.
33:40
Speaker 3: Favorite meal you've had in twenty twenty two could either
33:43
Speaker 3: be because the meal was outstanding or the company was
33:47
Speaker 3: just beyond excellent.
33:51
Speaker 1: Yes, my mum had a tradition where every week she
33:56
Speaker 1: would invite all of her Sri Lankan friends to come
33:58
Speaker 1: to dinner and she would make this huge, you know, curry,
34:02
Speaker 1: sort of make it a massive curry night. And she
34:05
Speaker 1: was amazing at cooking him. And so when she passed
34:08
Speaker 1: and I moved back to LA, I said, I'm going
34:11
Speaker 1: to keep that tradition up. And I wasn't much of
34:13
Speaker 1: a curry cook. I can cook a lot of other things,
34:16
Speaker 1: but not that. But I threw a little curry night,
34:20
Speaker 1: which I started doing every month, and I invited all
34:22
Speaker 1: my homies and we ate traditionally with our hands and
34:26
Speaker 1: the food was incredible, the company was incredible, and they
34:30
Speaker 1: just felt that I was really connected to my mom
34:33
Speaker 1: when I was doing that.
34:36
Speaker 2: That's really really beautiful.
34:37
Speaker 3: Okay, for someone who wants to start a meditation and
34:42
Speaker 3: or breathwork practice in twenty three, I'm sure you get
34:45
Speaker 3: this all the time, give us a tip that they
34:48
Speaker 3: can implement to stick with it.
34:50
Speaker 1: Think big, start small is my tip. I think big,
34:54
Speaker 1: as in, why do I want to do this? And
34:57
Speaker 1: don't just do it because it's trending on Twitter or
35:00
Speaker 1: your friend told you to do it, or you know
35:03
Speaker 1: doctors think it's good for you. Think about why for
35:06
Speaker 1: you it's really important. So it could be because I
35:08
Speaker 1: want to be a better I want to be a
35:10
Speaker 1: better boyfriend, girlfriend, I want to be a better lover,
35:14
Speaker 1: I want to be a better human, I want to
35:16
Speaker 1: be kinder to my community, whatever it is. That's the
35:19
Speaker 1: big part. And then the small part is like how
35:21
Speaker 1: much are you willing to commit to it? And so
35:23
Speaker 1: people usually have grandiose ideas right now, I'm going to
35:26
Speaker 1: meditate every day for thirty minutes, and within two months
35:29
Speaker 1: they fall off. So commit to doing five to ten
35:32
Speaker 1: minutes every day. And this thing which is literally underneath
35:37
Speaker 1: your nose, your breath, can really support you throughout your life.
35:41
Speaker 1: And you have to commit such a small amount of time.
35:43
Speaker 1: But I'm sure as you know, like when you do
35:46
Speaker 1: commit to that, you begin to understand your mind a
35:49
Speaker 1: lot better and then that changes everything for you.
35:53
Speaker 3: You get to choose one word that you're going into
35:57
Speaker 3: twenty three with.
36:00
Speaker 2: What is your word?
36:04
Speaker 1: Surrender? Ooh good?
36:07
Speaker 2: One expand.
36:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know. Twenty twenty two for me
36:13
Speaker 1: was a lot of resistance. It was a lot of
36:15
Speaker 1: fighting against things, and I needed to do that. That
36:19
Speaker 1: was the year that I had to fight for what
36:21
Speaker 1: I really wanted. And in twenty twenty three, I just
36:24
Speaker 1: want to go with the flow a lot more. I
36:25
Speaker 1: want to trust that there is a grander plan out
36:29
Speaker 1: there for me, and I want to let go and
36:31
Speaker 1: I just want to see what happens if I surrender
36:34
Speaker 1: as much as I can to what's in front of me.
36:37
Speaker 3: Okay, last question here right now, knowing what you know, now,
36:41
Speaker 3: you have an opportunity to offer the minage at the
36:44
Speaker 3: beginning of the year a piece of advice.
36:48
Speaker 2: What would you tell.
36:50
Speaker 1: Him, nothing is forever, everything changes, Be kind to yourself. Yeah,
37:00
Speaker 1: I think if you want me to expand on that,
37:03
Speaker 1: please their scent. I had a prevailing idea that a
37:10
Speaker 1: decision had to be forever, you know, whether it's a
37:14
Speaker 1: work decision or personal life decision. But the reality is
37:17
Speaker 1: everything changes in our life, so feelings change, emotions change,
37:22
Speaker 1: people change, and remembering that just invites me to just
37:28
Speaker 1: let go a little bit, you know, to be a
37:30
Speaker 1: little kinder to myself and not be so hard on myself.
37:36
Speaker 3: Be kind. I love it. How if they're not doing
37:39
Speaker 3: so yet? Thank you so much for sitting down with
37:41
Speaker 3: me today. How do the hurdlers follow along with you?
37:44
Speaker 3: How do they keep up with you?
37:45
Speaker 2: And open? Give us the details?
37:48
Speaker 1: You can follow along on Instagram. It's the only thing
37:51
Speaker 1: I think I invest a lot of way too much
37:53
Speaker 1: time into follow me just it's my name, manage DearS
37:59
Speaker 1: or you can follow as well, so I'm Open's pretty
38:01
Speaker 1: easy to find on Instagram, and I think that's really it.
38:06
Speaker 1: You can also join one of our classes in La
38:09
Speaker 1: soon to be Miami, or practice with me on the app.
38:14
Speaker 2: Practice with you on the app.
38:15
Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily a Body and at Hurdle Podcast,
38:18
Speaker 3: Another Hurdle Conquered Catch you guys, next time.