Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #18: Post Traumatic Growth

Transcript

#18: Post Traumatic Growth · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: This is the Happy Family's podcast with doctor Justin Coilson.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Were Lukin Susi and this is the podcast for time
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: poor parents who just want answers now.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: And we recently got that brand new book of his
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Nine Ways to a Resilient Child, and it's excellent. I'm
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: really I'm going through just very slowly. I know. I
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: haven't let you get your.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Hands on it.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: Hear it.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's one of those ones that I really
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: want to make sure I give good time too. But
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I want to address something from the very first chapter
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: of this book with Justin today if we can, Justin,
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: welcome to the show, Thanks for having a chat to
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: us again today.
• 0:40
  Speaker 5: Can you tell all your guests to be your favorite? Don't?
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: Well, I can promise you she doesn't have all our
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: guest book book on her bedside. Can you can you
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: quickly jot together Nine Ways to a Resilient Husband when
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: your when your wife won't let you have.
• 0:58
  Speaker 5: Posed to get you a copy to put a blog
• 1:00
  Speaker 5: together for you.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Luca the man's version and the dad's version of mum's version.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: But in the very first chapter of this book, there's
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: a phrase that you use that has absolutely captivated me.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: It's post traumatic growth. Now, we're very familiar with the
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: term post traumatic stress disorder, which we hear quite frequently
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: in a number of circumstances that people face in their life.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: But can you talk to us a bit about post
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: traumatic growth?
• 1:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if I was to give you a five second
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: overview of it, instead of getting anxious and stressed. When
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: trauma occurs in our lives, we grow through it. Actually
• 1:37
  Speaker 5: we grow because of it. It strengthens us. It makes
• 1:40
  Speaker 5: us into better, stronger, more resilient people. The trauma, rather
• 1:46
  Speaker 5: than driving us into the ground, turns us into better people.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: We are talking post traumatic growth today with doctor Justin Coulson.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: More shortly, most children are born curious and confident. They
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: love to explore the world, new friends, and try new things.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: But between the ages of two and twelve, confidence often
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: drops off. Why and how can we rebuild it? Creating
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Confident Kids is an easy to read ebook for busy
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: parents where you'll discover the five biggest mistakes most parents
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: may that crush their kids' confidence, and the five best
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: confidence boosters for building resilience and well being in your children.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: Creating Confident Kids by doctor Justin Coulson at Happy families
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: dot com dot a yet the.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Happy Families Podcast with doctor Justin Coulson, as we discuss
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: this phrase that you've talked about in your book Nine
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Ways to a Resilient Child post Traumatic Growth. I loved
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: seeing this phrase because I think for me, it reframed
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: the concept of the traumatic circumstances that we face. And
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I know, we know that there are some traumas that
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: we face in our life that seem to break us.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: But to have that option to not go towards the stress,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: but to move towards the growth. Just even creating that
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: language seems to create another option of how we do
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: with the traumas that we face. And you know that
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: there are some people who face incredible trauma and they
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: have this incredible bounce back. And you actually spoke about
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: one of those people in your book, and Rosie Baddy,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: who had this incredible response to a trauma that no
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: parent would ever want to would ever want to face.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: But how do we become a Rosy Baddy when we
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: face our traumas?
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: Justin's there's two quotes that immediately spring to mind. One
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: of them, one of them I've written in the front
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: of the book where I dedicated the book to my daughters.
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: I said, when life puts you in a tight spot,
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: don't ask why me, Instead stand tall and say try me.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: There's something about looking at trauma face to face, and
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: I noted that sometimes it's easy to say this when
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: you're not in the middle of the trauma. But there's
• 3:53
  Speaker 5: there's something incredibly powerful when we look at something and say,
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: I know that there is something in this for me
• 3:59
  Speaker 5: to learn. I know that this will be a blessing
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: to me. I know that this will somehow help me.
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: Sometimes we can't see that, and other times we can.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: There's a wonderful old Christian him and the name of
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: it's just my mind. But one of the lines in
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: it says, I do not ask to see the distance
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: scene one step enough for me. It's called Lead Kindly Light,
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: and it was written by a guy who'd been out
• 4:31
  Speaker 5: as a missionary back in the eighteen hundreds. He was
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: stuck on the sea. There was no wind for days,
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: there was no food, there was no water, everyone was sick.
• 4:39
  Speaker 5: He really thought he was going to die, and he
• 4:40
  Speaker 5: wrote this thing as he faced this tremendous adversity, thinking
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: that he was going to die, and what he was
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: essentially saying was he's not really worried about what's going
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: to happen down the track. He just wants to be
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: able to take one step at a time, knowing that
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: everything that's happening to him will will strengthen him and
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: help him to dive. That's an incredibly resilient mindset, whether
• 5:03
  Speaker 5: or not you have a Christian background or not. It's
• 5:05
  Speaker 5: a powerful mindset because when we look at the adversities
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: we face, or when we talk to our kids about
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: the challenges that they're facing, it's really amazing to say, well,
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: I wonder what we can learn from this. I love
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: the quote by a guy called Epictitis. When I say
• 5:20
  Speaker 5: a guy, I mean he lived a couple of thousand
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: years ago. He was a stoic philosopher and epic Titus
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: said people are not disturbed by things, but by the
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: view they take of them.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I just this is such a big perspective thing to think.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: If we're facing a trial right now thinking about post
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: traumatic stress disorder versus thinking about the opportunity for post
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: traumatic growth, like I imagine, it would significantly change our
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: tenacity and our willingness to have the fight.
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: Justin that's the idea, and that's why I've written about
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: these things in the book. You know, if you want to,
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: let's say you want to become a better bike rider,
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: you don't ride along the or downhill. You get on
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: that bike and you're right uphill because that's what strengthens you.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: And when we look at the adversities that we face
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: in life as a character building strengthening activity and exercise,
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: I think that we can actually say quite clearly, if
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: we look at our own lives, I am who I
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: am today because of the challenges that I've worked through,
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: because of the challenges that I've overcome. And that's a wonderful,
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: resilience bursting way of looking at life once again, because
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: it says I can grow through adversity, I can grow
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: through trauma, and I can do more with my life
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: because what I'm going through right now is awful. This
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: is going to help me later on.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: It's so very, very good. I think you need to
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: relabel that book by the way, nine Ways to Becoming
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: more Resilient, because I think anybody who reads it will
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: will develop those skills as well.
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just change the title and resell it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Nine Ways Resilient Child author Justin Colson is our guests
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: today from Happy families dot com.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Do A.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: You we really appreciate. I love the phrase post traumatic growth.
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: Thank you so much, my pleasure. Thanks for chatting.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Of course, for that book Nine Ways to a Resilient
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Child and more books, podcasts, and programs, visit happy families
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: dot com do AU, or if you're interested in having
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: doctor Justin come and speak to your school or organization,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: go to Justincilson dot com