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Transcript

The One Where Lala Says The F Word A LOT · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hello, guys. I'm coming off of like I have like.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: A bitch mode hangover. Yesterday could have been Lily you
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: scatta just like calmed down. I love you so much,
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: but whatever's happening, just like Sep song. So yesterday was
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: a fucking bitch. My WiFi would not work. I couldn't
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: get it to work. I spent two hours on the
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: phone with the Internet person walking me through it.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: The phone call drops.
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: I call Jessica because I don't know how to live
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: without her, and she then links me with somebody else.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: Keep in mind, at this point, I've spoken to two
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: different people, Geek Squad and the person who knows how
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: to reboot your Internet. Both of the calls drop and
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: they got me far and I was like, I need
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: to get back to who I was talking to. They're like, okay,
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: it'll take about five minutes. I wait for five minutes.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: The music is still playing. That's when I called jess
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: jess has the guy on the phone.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: He's like, what we're this is his voice.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we're gonna get just started. All you're gonna
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: do is unplug the modem. You're gonna unplug the mesh device.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: You're gonna wait for one minute, and I'm like, no, no, no,
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I did this already. Yeah, and he's like, okay, we're
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: just gonna log onto our computer and you're gonna type
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: in this cod I'm like, I did this already. It
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: didn't work, and.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: This is like three hours, so just a quick for me.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: I just have had a cold. I don't know it's cold,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: allergy something, but my head was killing me yesterday. So
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I'm gonna stay home. I'm gonna work
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: from home. And so that's why Lala had called me,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: and I wasn't in correct. Yeah, I left that part out,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: but it had been three hours or two to two
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: or three hours that Lala had been working on it
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: before she called me, right, yes, yeah, yes, correct. Okay.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: So we're on the phone with this guy for however
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: long and then he tells me because I'm like, it's
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: blinking blue and he's like, okay, great, and I was like,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: it's back to red again, and he goes, okay, So
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: all we're gonna do is have you and he tells
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: me what to do. I said, you're not understanding. I
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: did this already, and he still keeps telling me what
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I fucking hung up the phone.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I said, just come, I'm not spending another fucking second
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: on that phone. Find someone to come fix this mother
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: fucking shit.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, yesterday was the worst day. Yeah ever, yeah no,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: And then and I mean, hey, you can tell them
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: what happened yesterday, which is why we're recording this episode today.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Go ahead tell them.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Well, first, let me share this part, because I let
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: me share the sequence of events. All Right, The night
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: before I closed my bedroom door to make or my
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: bathroom door to make sure light doesn't come into my
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: bedroom in the morning, it suddenly locks behind me. I
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: pee probably seven times in the middle of the night.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: So now if I have to use a bathroom, I
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: have to go all the way down two sets of
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: stairs that are very narrow to get to the fucking bathroom. Okay,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: so that's where it started. The next day, the Wi
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Fi shit happens. But yesterday morning I take Ocean to
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: the pediatrician. There's this woman who is sitting in one
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: of the spots with her lights on. So my mother
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: politely asks her if she could like back out of
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: this space so that I can park. Because it's a
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: building with multiple businesses each little space is designated to someone,
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: and I don't want to be that asshole that parks
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: in a spot for yoga when I'm doing yoga. Yeah,
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: and it says that I could get towed. I'm not
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: risking it. This woman clearly was not very kind. So
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I asked my mom. I'm like, what is she doing?
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Can she? Is she moving? My mom says, I don't know.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: She's a bitch.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: So I throw the car in park, I have my
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: mom get in, I get out. I go up to
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: the woman's window. I was like, hey, can you back
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: up out of this space? She rolls her window down.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I have an hour and a half drive. I need
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: to figure out where I'm going. And I was like,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: that's great, but could you back out so that I
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: can pull in and then you can figure out where
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: you're going. That is so unsafe to do with a baby,
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I said, not really, I pulled a lou Ann.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Not really.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I'm not asking you to drive while typing in I'm
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: asking you to back up, park elsewhere, right, and that
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: put in the address or park on the side of
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: the road.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I do it all the time. Oh shit, I've got
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: to look up an address. I pull over you in
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: the car. It doesn't matter.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, keep in mind what she said to my mom
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: was I'm not ready to leave and then rolled up
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: her window.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Okay, so that's what she said, because that's important to
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: this story. Okay.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: She then says to me, do you have a baby?
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: I go no, I'm coming to the pediatrician for my
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: own checkup. Yes, I have a baby.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: You fucking moron. Do I need this spot? Got an appointment? Yeah?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: Like what.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: She then says something to me, and I said, you
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: her a fucking bitch.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: You said that. I said that. I'm never innocent, Jessica.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: I'm never innocent.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: I'm innocent until you don't come correct. Then I'm not
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: so innocent anymore. You come correct, I'll come correct.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: She tries to get out of her car. No.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Oh, angry, angry, fucking twice.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: This episode is gonna be the F word podcast, Okay,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: because it just I'm so traumatized by yesterday.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That and because of the news that you just
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: delivered to me. All right.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: So the whole reason we're doing this podcast right now
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: is because I had Katie come over yesterday to record
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: a podcast.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: It was fabulous. It was the only great part of
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: my day.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: One of the best podcasts I think I've ever recorded,
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: and Katie was awesome and it didn't fucking record. Yeah. Yeah,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: So this day starting off is a real shit banker
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: as well, so annoyed, you know. So I tell her
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: she's a fucking bitch. She gets out of her car.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I go, you're gonna you're getting out of your car?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: What You're gonna beat me up in the pedia tuition
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: barking lot And she gets back in her car because
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I think she realized, like she was saying, it's unsafe
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: for her baby, for her to like type in directions,
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: but yeah, she's gonna kick my ass in front of
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: her baby.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: In a car that's probably on, Like what is she doing?
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: No, she was a bulky bitch. There was no way
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: I was getting out of that without scrape. I'm like, yo, bitch,
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I'm running.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: You know, Oh my god.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I looked at her. I was like, that hour drive
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: is like you, I hope that you drive safely because
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: she was so enraged she was, but.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, I was like, I'm like, in fear.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think I.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Stay in the spot.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as I'm worried for your baby.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Because you're like enraged. She was so mad she started
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: to get out and then she got that shit she
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: wanted to kick my ass. Oh in the a pediatrician, jar,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: what's your mom doing? During just watching?
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: My mom goes, Lauren, she's not worth it, and she
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: goes your person just cursed at me. I was like,
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: get the fuck over it.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't say that.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I was like whatever, So I get in the car,
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: I park somewhere. As I park and get my baby out,
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: here comes oh.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: No, shatty pans pulling out.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: So I have my baby. Now I've like regained composure.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Baby on the hip where happy. We're happy, rainbows and butterflies.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Mama didn't just call someone a fucking bitch. It's all good.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: But my mother, the savage she is, stands right in
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: front of her car. No, she doesn't, and she throws
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: her hands up. My mom gets on her phone and.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Goes, I'm not ready to leave. No she didn't.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: I was like, Mom, Lisa eleven o'clock appointment, we gotta go.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: First off, iconic duo, the lady mess with the wrong one, Lisa.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I would have paid to see that. I would have paid. Listen,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm frugal right now, but I would have paid
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: one hundred bucks toe that. Oh my god.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: Then she flipped my mom off, almost ran over her foot.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah she did.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Did you see that?
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: She almost ran over my phone.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I was like, but she didn't. Let's let's go moving on.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: So then that was your morning yesterday morning, which was Monday.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: We're being realistic with the timeline. So that was your morning. Yeah,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: started off on a wild note.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: But then you told me that that Amanda her she
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: not yesinny but not fat, was posting about what a
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: ship day it was yesterday.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: She said something like on her stories, I feel like
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: being a bitch to everyone and ripping people's faces off,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: or something to that tone, like she was just not
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: in a good mood. She said, I feel like talking
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: shit about everyone. And then people were responding. I saw
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: her kind of reposting like something's going on with the
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: universe yesterday.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: Something was going on with the universe because Jessica then
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: comes to my house this morning.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: M hm to fix the Wi Fi.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: And she's like, a lot, the blue light is on,
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: I think the WiFi is working. I was like, nope,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: did it all day yesterday? Watch and I like, get
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: on the TV, click Hulu and it's like or no Netflix.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what would you like to watch? Sign for Elda?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: I'm like, are you kidding me?
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Because I came here at nine and I was wasn't
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: supposed to well, I was coming here at nine. We
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: have a call at ten, and I was like, oh,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: that gives me time to fix the wi fi. But
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: here's the great thing, La La tell me I come
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: here at nine, the WiFi is working, and then we
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: realize you didn't record. Well, it didn't record you and
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Katie yesterday, so now we have time to record this
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: and all is life. There we go.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: There's a silver lining on top of the fact I
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: realized it's the twenty first and I missed my older
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: brother's birthday.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't even say one fucking word time which one
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Brandon brand Oh you only have one older brother, right?
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday Brandon today.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I was fifteen. Oh it was.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: He was like, it's fine, lot, and he's just like
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: my dad, where like nothing is a big deal, which
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: makes it even worse. Yeah, and I know his wife's
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: going to rip my head off. That's okay. I'm prepared.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: I've known her since I was a kid.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: You have prepared for the wrath and I deserve it.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: But I was like, there's no reason why I should
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: have missed your birthday, Like you've been my brother for
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: thirty one years, Like I know when your fucking birthday is.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I have missed birthdays. I miss my best friend's birthday
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: and I would wish her happy birthday at midnight on
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: September second because her birthday September third every year, and
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: then one year it was like September fifth, and I
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: lost it. Sometimes your mind just can only hold so
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: many things. Yeah, and it just you have I mean,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: people have missed my birthday. Like I'm like, whatever, Yeah,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that's true. It is no, it is like whatever. But yeah,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: you've got a lot on your plate. On a happy,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: happy note, your hair looks fantastic things jazz. She got
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: out highlighted by the one and Only Bradley.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: And guess what. I was talking to him about the banks.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, do we cut them? And he was like,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: guess what. You already have the tiny little like because
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: you know how she has like those cute little you
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: throw these little guys into a little roller.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Are we talking about Marilyn Monroe, Pam Anderson.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, we could totally do Pam Anderson without
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: really chopping bangs. Like I have little pieces, well some
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: call them baby hairs, I call them broken.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: But you but I see them, you're pulling them out.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: I see them. How weird is it that I was
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: listening to a podcast yesterday and the guy said, I
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: think every boyfriend or partner or husband's job is to
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: make sure their partner doesn't if it's a woman, doesn't
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: get bangs, because because every woman always has this like
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: moment in her life where she goes, I'm getting bangs
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: and it's He's like, and it always they always regret it.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: He's like, I had multiple girlfriends who said that and
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: then weeks later they're like, fuck these bangs and they're
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: like clipping them back. He's like, so, if you're a
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: partner of a woman who wants to get bangs, it's
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: your job to make sure she doesn't get bangs.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Don't let her get banged.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: So Bradley, thank you.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: That is amazing.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I really yeah. Also, last thing, since we're on the
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: bangs thing, Yeah, and the show I love that for you.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: You have you watched it yet? It's all for you.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: You auditioned for it, and I saw who got a
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: woman who is not at all like you. So that's
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: always a compliment because you're like, oh no, I wouldn't
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: have even like, it's someone completely different, so she's just
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: completely They.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Had a bunch of people that auditioned and they were
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: like who just like who embodies the character of like
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: everything that we think.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Right, And it was about Banks. Remember you auditioned and
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: it was about Banks, and I saw the part super quick,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: super but I was like, oh my god, that could
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: have been.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: And I thought I did okay, and that audition I
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: thought it was really funny.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: You did great. It's completely different vibe. And that's I
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: I like, I if my friends have auditioned for something
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: and I help them tape and then I see it
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: on a show and it's not at all what they
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: were giving. It's almost like, oh, that's good. So they
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: weren't even like looking for that they or they saw
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: something completely different. If it's close to what my friend gave,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: then it's more like a oh that's a bummer. You
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: were like really close to getting that and you didn't
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: because you kind of gave the same performance. Does that
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: make sense.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally so banks. Yeah, so that was my Monday.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: My Sunday Father's Day was freaking awesome. We went to
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Jackson Britney's house. Did you do anything for Father's Day?
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: No, because I just had it. I wasn't feeling gray.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I just have like allergies or cold and so just
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: like chilled. I love it. Yeah, so what did you
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so you went to Jackson Britney's. Why did they have
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: a party? They had?
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they had like a little barbecue.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, they're great at barbecuing, And it was like, bow,
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I'm at it, they're great at barbecuing. Do they both
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: barbecue or is it Jack's both of them? Really?
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, But it was so funny because Jack's was like
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: the one that was doing all the work. He was, yeah,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: and it's awesome. He loves doing that. He's like he's
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: like the house husband that like dicks.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Around the house. He does. Yeah, And I don't mean
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: a house husband as like an insult. I mean a
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: husband who owns a home.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I've never seen someone moa laan
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: faster than Jack's Taylor. The morning of Ocean Kent's birthday. Yeah,
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: he was zooming around that long and I.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Was like, wow, he was like jogging and I was
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: like dan ever, yeah, they both are. You walk into
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: their house and you're like, this is where I want
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: to live. This is adulting as fuck.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Everything has its place, very organized.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: The backyard is pristine, the front yard is pristine, the
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: man cave is awesome. It's just like they're great homeowners.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: But it's so cute to see there.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Right now.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: There is no better feeling than seeing Ocean interact with
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: like her little baby friends.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I saw some content on your stories and I was yes,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: and she swam yes. So she's playing with her baby friends,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: do you Because I was a bier when I was little,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: So that's why I'm asking is there any like hitting
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: or biting? So that's what's so crazy.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: They all went through the biting stage together. So it
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: was myself and my mom in Ocean and then like
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: Kristen Dodi came, Zach Wickham, Jared.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Sanna and Brock. I saw that Rock and Sheena and
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: her parents in summer, so it was.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Ocean cruise in summer. They all went through the biting
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: phase at the same time. Now they're all hitting each
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: other and hitting us, you know, So they're all going
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: through the same stage and now they're all walking. Because
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: what happens with kids, and you'll see this if you
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: have kids with your friends, even just like a month
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: or two difference, it feels like an eternity because when
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: your kid's walking or someone else's kid is walking and
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: your kid is still crawling, like, it's like, let's go
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: to the park. Well, what fun is the park? My
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: baby's not walking yet? Right, No, like it's it's But
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: then once they all start walking, they're gonna be the
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: same age forever.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: Right, Yes, that's so cute. So they get along. You
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: said they're hitting now, but I saw it in like
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: the content, they were like playing together. So is it
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: just moments of maybe hitting, Okay, just a little moments
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and they love hitting us? Like what it is? It's
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: a left pat I don't know, I know, I know,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I know. I will hold ocean, you guys, and she'll
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: go to like there, and I swear she does it
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: out of love or being silly because it's only once
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: in a while, but she gets this big smile on
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: her face and then I see the hand go back. Yeah,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: and I'm like a pushover. So I know what she's doing,
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: and I like I should be more like no no,
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: But if Lalla sees it, she goes, oh shit, no,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: oh okay, nope, can't do that. Gotta put her down. Yeah,
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: put her down, out her down, sut her down.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: You have to be put down. You can't be hitting
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: people like that.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: I need to, yeah, because I'm a pushover. But they
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: looked super cute. And I saw ocean swimming. Yes, was
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: brock like holding her in the pool because I saw
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: that so cute. She's a little water baby.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: She's been that waiting since the first time I put
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: her in the pool. Wants to like dunk her head in.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: That's how she used to take baths. She was like
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: always wanting her head under the water. And she goes
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: under or not she can like put her face She'll
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: put her face in. Yeah what yeah, oh summer moon
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: goes full, submerges fully.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: Just hold her breath and goes under. Yes, that is wild,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: ill forced and it was traumatic by my mom when
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I was like four, because I had never gone under,
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: and she was like okay, one, two, three, and I
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: was like, dunk to me, thanks Mom.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I was.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Just boom screaming underwater and then dramatic coughing after, like
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I was drowning. Drowning. Anyway, I'm glad Ocean and Summer.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Moon do that.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we had the best time. The burger were five star.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Just everything was great.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: The barbecue is great. Speaking of Summer Moon, I saw
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: is shea launching a lash line today? It launched it? Yeah,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: do you believe it? I know I saw a lashes
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: named like Summer and Moon or something like that, and
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: I was like, obviously Sheen is the one to launch
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: a lash line and I'm buying them all.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she has Summer Moon and Honey Cute. I was
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: actually a part of the picking process, I know. I
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: got to help her choose like which styles, and I
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: told her these are the ones that I like, But
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: this is your lie, so you because she has those
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: like big beautiful eyes where she can handle that much
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: any kind of lash right right, I can't. I look
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: like a drunk puppet, right, like one of those dolls
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: where they closed their eyes and yeah, that's what I
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: start looking like.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, So I just gave her my input of like
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: what was working best on my kind of eye.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Okay, who knows if she took that or not, But
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I do know that all the styles are amazing.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: What is it called to the brind Viva Verona, which
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: means long Live Summer. Oh my god, I know it's
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: so cute.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: It's fantastic.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: The name's fantastic. Yeah, the packaging is amazing. Everything's great.
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: She did her photo shoot here. Yeah, and I'm glad
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: it's proud about tomorrow because I'm gonna buy some today,
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: hoping they don't sell out. But they're beautiful. There's great.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: Do we have any voicemails? Just we do?
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: We have some Voicemailskylala, my name's Toy. I love the pod.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: I've been fancy stay one. I'm calling because I actually
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: met my now husband on Tinder, like seven years ago
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: before it was as kind of bad as it is now.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: But we met on Tinder, talked for a little while,
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: like a few months before I actually met him in person.
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: I met him in person, and things just happened like
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: so quick and crazy. I ended up getting correct like
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: a few months later. I think everything happens for a reason. Now,
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: seven years later, we have two kids, one on the way,
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: and we've been married for actually newlywed's a few months
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: now but to us a little bit. But yeah, happy
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: endings do come sometimes from dating apps, so don't keep
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: it completely closed off because you never know, you know,
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: I end up marrying someone that you swipe right on. Thanks,
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: talk to you guys later. Can't wait to listen buye.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm like, Yes, it makes me very
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: hopeful that so many people are like meeting their lovers
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: on what are they called dating dating apps? Tinder, Bumble,
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: match dot com, Like amazing, I'm not there yet, right,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I don't necessarily think that, and we I feel like
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: I'm on repeater mode, Like every time we talk about it,
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I'm not there yet. I have nothing to offer someone.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: It's like like a broken record, right. But for all, like,
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: it's not that I am opposed to dating apps, like yeah,
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: I probably need. So many people have said they've met
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: their partners on dating apps. But for me, it's like
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: why even like entertain the idea of getting on a
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: dating app when like, I'm not trying to.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Date yeah you know, yeah, so what's the point. What's
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: the point? And it's not like you have all this time,
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: like you're a busy person, So I think I have
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: a lot of friends who are like, well, I'm just
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: bored and it's fun to like flirt and and I'm like, yeah,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: if you have the time. But if you don't have
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: the time, like why would you get on them?
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Well, and also like even when you start like dating,
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: which I went on multiple dates with this person, I
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: didn't think they were dates.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I thought they were like, hey, let's be friends and
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: go grab a bite.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And then you start, you know, syncing into this
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: like pattern of uh, not even a pattern. It's like
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: want to hang out with me and my friends or
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna like try to hold your hand, and I
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: immediately shut down. I was like, nope, right, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I don't want it at all. Don't touch me right now.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Don't touch me. I don't want to kick it with
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: your friends. If I want to kick it with friends,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna kick it with my own friends. I just
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: that for me was like a real like wake up
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: call where it was like, no, I have no desire.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not ready right now. No, that was great though
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: you were open and you went on some dates, and
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I mean people on the podcast.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Have heard I was sitting there closing my eyes, going
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: like this, how do I teleport out of here?
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: May get fucking work, don't you wish?
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, I want to teleport into Ocean's nursery immediately.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: That is like, that's why I never drive, you guys,
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I never don't drive. If I can drive somewhere, I
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: don't care how far it is, let me tell you
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I'm driving because I never ride with friends. Don't want
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: to be stuck, don't want to be waiting on an uber.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: When my social battery runs out the end, I'm out. Yeah,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: so I don't whatever. It's a whole different thing. But
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: that's like if I'm somewhere and I'm like, good for
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: you for hanging in there, Because if I'm somewhere and
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I go I don't want to be here anymore, You'll
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: blink and then I'll be gone.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I know. And you know I met I
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: met this guy who I went on a few dates with,
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: just like out and about at a friend's house. She
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: was like like I had seen him at like little
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: social fucking gatherings and then a more intimate setting at
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: my friend's house, and I was like, oh, he kind
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: of flying And then all of a sudden, I'm like, Okay,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I thought we shared the same friends.
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: Why are you taking me with these clowns?
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know them?
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Right? Does that make sense? Yes, that makes sense, And
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I don't want to Maybe if we were in a
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: different space, you'd be like, sure, I want to go
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: out and meet new people, but you're not. You're in
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: like to me, I feel like right now in your life,
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: any comfortable safe space you can be in, you're gonna
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: take it right. Your friends, your family, your house, like
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: your people.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Right, And I have a small small circle of friends,
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: like I don't have certain pockets of friends.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my friend group is this is what it is, right.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: And we don't like so when you're but most people
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: aren't like that, They're like, these are my friends for this,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I have this group of friends.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have that anymore.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: I've gotten rid of a lot of people. Yeah.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I mean you're talking to someone who's like,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I've got my New York friends and my national friends
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: and then like two LA friends and that's it. So
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: you're talking to someone who's like, I don't really get it. Yeah,
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: can I tell you something. I'll spill a little tea
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: on this podcast a.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Lot of tea. Okay, So at Jackson Britney's I, Jax
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: tells me that Schwartz wants to.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: Come over to the house. He was like, is that okay.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like, it's your house, you know, whoever you want over.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not gonna be very friendly, like yeah,
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: I hope you guys don't feel awkward, but.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a bitch.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: And he was like I know. But he's like, you know,
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: he's like at home and he's depressed right now, and
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: he's like having a really hard.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Time, and I go wrong, fucking audience. Yeah, not your problem.
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: I give a shit, let me said, And he's having
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: a really hard time.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I'll trade you. Let's trade.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's fucking trade.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and let's not pretend like you didn't do this
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: to yourself.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Schwartz right, wrong audience, I'm the wrong audience member.
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: So then he kept calling and he was like if
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: I can, uh, is the is the coast clear?
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: Jack like, no, it's meaning are you gone? Yeah? Wait?
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Was Katie there or no there? Okay, oh my god.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: Is he in the house Schwartz or did he move out? No,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: they all moved out.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, Katie and Schwartz both moved out. I mean, very
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: fucking clear to everybody. All Right, there's my little piece
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: of tea. If you want to come to me and
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: talk about your hard said little life. Wrong audience, Yeah,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: buck up, bitch.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Buck up, bitch. It's very interesting because if you would
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: have come to me and said, I'm beefing with someone
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: from my vander Pump crew, who do you think it is?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Last person? I would probably guess, like Katie before Schwartz. Yeah,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: it's he's just the last person I would think. But
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: since I kind of know everything that happened, I think
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: it's Can.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: I tell you something though, I don't feel like we
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: are beefing?
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: What do you think?
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: I think it's you. You've shown to me what type
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: of person you are, which, by the way, he's not
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: a bad person, but like at this point in my life,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: you come correct or I want nothing to do with you.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Beefing to me is like you're going toes. You're going
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: toes and there's gonna be resolution in the end. There
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: is no resolution. I don't want you fucking near me.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, interesting, Yeah, does he want to be your friend.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: Is that the vibe you're getting or done with you too?
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: Is he like okay?
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: No? I think Shortsy's very sweet, and I think he
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: I don't think he has any sort of feeling. I
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: think honestly, if someone were to ask him, he would
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: still say I have love for Laala because he's just
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: so he's sweet. Yeah, but I can't have people around me.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: You can be the sweetest pie. And I'm telling you,
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: what if you maneuver a certain way, your fucking liability.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just not What does Katie think about it?
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Katie's fine, Like she said, Lalla made everything very clear.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: If you didn't understand it, like no one can help you.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: It was like very it was very clear.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Hi, lalas a tissue from Atlanta. I think I
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: thought of a possible tagline for you. If you were
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: a Bravo housewife, you could say, I don't give anyone Greek,
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: I just give them Laala. What do you think? I
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: love you?
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: I kind of love it.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: I love that. I think it's really cute. I like
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: that a lot. It's funny people always ask you about
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: your housewife tagline and you never You're always like, I
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know, and I think this is
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: because I've heard people suggest some that really aren't you,
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: and I feel like this is the closest.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: Well, if let's just say we had taglines for vander
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: Pump and like this stage I'm in in life, I
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: would say I never give anyone second chances, but I
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: always give them lala.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love like. No, right, that's great.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Have you been thinking about that?
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: No, I just came up with it because I could
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: literally be like, I never give any one second chances,
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: but I always give them Lalla.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: I help, I'm thumb. She a bad bitch. She a
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: bad bitch.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you guys so much for tuning into another episode.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: I will give them all on podcasts. If you have children,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't be listening to this podcast with them in
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: the car anyway, But this episode you.
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Really shouldn't happen listening because mommy cursed a lot. All Right,
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: you guys, have the best day ever, and I will
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: catch you next week.