Latest / Community Routes / Episode 116: Off the Beaten Path with Emma Richards

Transcript

Episode 116: Off the Beaten Path with Emma Richards · Community Routes

• 0:31
  Speaker: Hey everyone, welcome to
• 0:32
  Speaker: Community Roots, a place where
• 0:35
  Speaker: we gather in community to talk
• 0:36
  Speaker: about mental health so we can
• 0:38
  Speaker: travel the journey of life
• 0:39
  Speaker: together.
• 0:40
  Speaker: I'm Samuel Richards, I'm Julie Richards, and I'm Emma Richards.
• 0:45
  Speaker: Woo woo.
• 0:47
  Speaker: Yes!
• 0:48
  Speaker: Yay!
• 0:48
  Speaker: This week we are, um, off the
• 0:52
  Speaker: beaten path with Emma Grace
• 0:54
  Speaker: Richards.
• 0:55
  Speaker: Um. Uh, Emma, of course.
• 0:58
  Speaker: Uh, is, uh, my sister, you know, uh, mom's daughter.
• 1:03
  Speaker: So welcome to the show, Emma.
• 1:05
  Speaker: It's so good to finally have you on the show.
• 1:07
  Speaker: Thanks for having me.
• 1:08
  Speaker: I'm excited and a little nervous.
• 1:12
  Speaker: Uh, you know what?
• 1:13
  Speaker: I actually remember when we
• 1:16
  Speaker: started, uh, recording community
• 1:19
  Speaker: roots.
• 1:19
  Speaker: I only almost had to, like, mentally psych myself up to even
• 1:23
  Speaker: hit the record button.
• 1:25
  Speaker: I kept finding excuses not to start, but no worries.
• 1:29
  Speaker: Hey, you're in a good place.
• 1:31
  Speaker: Uh, something even that, uh, we talk about with listeners too,
• 1:34
  Speaker: is we're a community just looking out for each other,
• 1:38
  Speaker: almost grabbing the proverbial cup of coffee.
• 1:41
  Speaker: This is, uh, a cold cup of coffee from earlier, but
• 1:45
  Speaker: nonetheless, um, so, uh, I guess for starters, Emma, do you want
• 1:53
  Speaker: to introduce yourself?
• 1:55
  Speaker: Do you want to maybe talk about your mental health journey a
• 1:57
  Speaker: little bit, or kind of what you were thinking about coming from?
• 2:00
  Speaker: Yes.
• 2:01
  Speaker: Um, my name is Emma and I'm a wedding photographer.
• 2:06
  Speaker: I am a chronic anxiety girlie.
• 2:11
  Speaker: No, I'm just kidding.
• 2:12
  Speaker: Um, no, I'm a wedding photographer.
• 2:14
  Speaker: I started my own business.
• 2:17
  Speaker: Um, I also recently got married a couple years ago and moved to
• 2:22
  Speaker: a new city.
• 2:23
  Speaker: And yeah, I guess my mental health journey these last couple
• 2:28
  Speaker: years have been largely impacted by transition and kind of
• 2:34
  Speaker: entering this new phase of life.
• 2:36
  Speaker: I graduated college, got engaged, got married, kind of
• 2:41
  Speaker: jumped, started my business again, all within one year.
• 2:44
  Speaker: And the last year.
• 2:48
  Speaker: Since that year, I've been kind
• 2:51
  Speaker: of just like taking care of me,
• 2:53
  Speaker: learning more about myself And,
• 2:56
  Speaker: um, my relationship with my
• 2:58
  Speaker: partner and yeah, just figuring
• 3:02
  Speaker: out life as a twenty four year
• 3:04
  Speaker: old.
• 3:05
  Speaker: Um, I was diagnosed with anxiety
• 3:08
  Speaker: and ADHD a few years ago, and I
• 3:12
  Speaker: feel like that gave me a lot of
• 3:15
  Speaker: better understanding for just
• 3:18
  Speaker: situations in my life growing
• 3:20
  Speaker: up.
• 3:20
  Speaker: And I feel like in therapy the
• 3:22
  Speaker: last few years, I've just, yeah,
• 3:24
  Speaker: I've been learning how to
• 3:26
  Speaker: understand my past self, my like
• 3:32
  Speaker: younger self and my current
• 3:33
  Speaker: self.
• 3:34
  Speaker: That will hopefully help me as I
• 3:36
  Speaker: continue to grow in my future
• 3:37
  Speaker: self.
• 3:38
  Speaker: So that's kind of where I'm at.
• 3:41
  Speaker: And that is so much what we talk
• 3:43
  Speaker: about on community roots is that
• 3:46
  Speaker: we are aiming to be just healthy
• 3:48
  Speaker: humans and be in community with
• 3:49
  Speaker: each other.
• 3:50
  Speaker: And we often talk about parts of ourselves, whether it's our
• 3:55
  Speaker: functional adult wounded child adopted adolescent that we learn
• 3:58
  Speaker: from, or just exploring different aspects of our self
• 4:04
  Speaker: and our histories and how they're impacting us in our day
• 4:08
  Speaker: to day, and really just exploring mental health in this
• 4:14
  Speaker: context of community and conversation and everything that
• 4:18
  Speaker: you've just shared is, um, normalizing for people.
• 4:24
  Speaker: This is about being human.
• 4:25
  Speaker: This is about, um, being on the planet in relationship with
• 4:31
  Speaker: others, having anxiety or ADHD or transitions or getting
• 4:34
  Speaker: married or moving.
• 4:37
  Speaker: This is part of what it is being human and how good it is to be
• 4:40
  Speaker: able to name things and feel like you're not alone in that.
• 4:44
  Speaker: There are other people that are
• 4:46
  Speaker: walking that and, um, you know,
• 4:50
  Speaker: words of wisdom that you share
• 4:52
  Speaker: can inspire others, or vice
• 4:54
  Speaker: versa, or just as we share
• 4:56
  Speaker: together.
• 4:56
  Speaker: So we're really glad that you're here.
• 4:59
  Speaker: Thanks.
• 5:01
  Speaker: Yeah, I think that it's a really
• 5:03
  Speaker: refreshing reminder to have a
• 5:07
  Speaker: community that is so open
• 5:10
  Speaker: talking about their mental
• 5:11
  Speaker: health.
• 5:11
  Speaker: I know a lot of people don't have that.
• 5:13
  Speaker: And so when I do talk about my mental health with like our
• 5:18
  Speaker: family or my therapist or my friends, I'm just really
• 5:23
  Speaker: grateful that I am surrounded by people who are mental health
• 5:28
  Speaker: positive and are willing to, like, have those hard
• 5:31
  Speaker: conversations, even if it's uncomfortable or hard.
• 5:35
  Speaker: Um, because I even think like I'm for my business, my brand is
• 5:41
  Speaker: very social media forward and obviously on social media, a lot
• 5:45
  Speaker: of us are on social media, but it's like the highlight reel.
• 5:49
  Speaker: It's like, what is amazing in everyone's lives.
• 5:52
  Speaker: And so it's really easy to get caught up in what everyone else
• 5:56
  Speaker: is doing and how much you need to be doing and how successful
• 6:00
  Speaker: you have to be.
• 6:01
  Speaker: And then like, mental health is on the back burner and like, no
• 6:04
  Speaker: one really cares about it.
• 6:06
  Speaker: So then to like surround yourself with a, an atmosphere
• 6:10
  Speaker: where you are able to talk about it and it's just as high of a
• 6:14
  Speaker: priority as like the other parts of your life, if not more.
• 6:18
  Speaker: Like it's just really helpful.
• 6:23
  Speaker: It's almost like freeing and empowering that you can name
• 6:27
  Speaker: real life and not try to hold it all together and be fine.
• 6:32
  Speaker: I think there are people who fear the stigma or don't have a
• 6:37
  Speaker: place to talk about it, that they have to appear like I'm
• 6:41
  Speaker: good, everything's great, but internally they might have a
• 6:46
  Speaker: whole lot going on that they're they either don't know how to
• 6:49
  Speaker: process that or what to do with it, or they don't have safe
• 6:53
  Speaker: spaces to be able to have supportive, you know,
• 6:57
  Speaker: relationships or therapy or whatever and come on over for
• 7:03
  Speaker: everyone who's in that boat.
• 7:04
  Speaker: Like this is helpful to be able
• 7:07
  Speaker: to just say life is hard on this
• 7:10
  Speaker: planet.
• 7:10
  Speaker: And, and it's okay that it's hard.
• 7:14
  Speaker: We can actually get through anything when we do it together.
• 7:19
  Speaker: The essence of trauma is being afraid and being alone.
• 7:23
  Speaker: And when we bring something into
• 7:25
  Speaker: community and we develop safe
• 7:26
  Speaker: spaces and supportive
• 7:28
  Speaker: relationships, we can get
• 7:31
  Speaker: through a lot of hard and
• 7:32
  Speaker: actually we can share with our
• 7:34
  Speaker: listeners.
• 7:35
  Speaker: That's one of the kind of mottos that we've built our family on,
• 7:39
  Speaker: is we can do hard.
• 7:41
  Speaker: Mhm.
• 7:42
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 7:42
  Speaker: That's a motto that Michael and I have brought into our marriage
• 7:46
  Speaker: and our relationship.
• 7:47
  Speaker: and like something that I've brought into a lot of my
• 7:49
  Speaker: friendships as well, which I think is really cool.
• 7:53
  Speaker: We can do hard.
• 7:55
  Speaker: Agreed.
• 7:57
  Speaker: Like an elephant.
• 8:00
  Speaker: Um, Emma, I like what you're saying too.
• 8:03
  Speaker: And even what connects for me is hard.
• 8:07
  Speaker: Things are still hard, but it does.
• 8:10
  Speaker: It is still so helpful to turn
• 8:12
  Speaker: around and just almost feel the
• 8:14
  Speaker: warmth and the light of the
• 8:16
  Speaker: people around you, or just that
• 8:17
  Speaker: presence.
• 8:19
  Speaker: Um, and I think bringing those things to light, and I'm not on
• 8:23
  Speaker: social media very much, but when I am, I often check out your
• 8:26
  Speaker: posts and they're so just like clear and transparent and open
• 8:30
  Speaker: about things, which I think, uh, is really refreshing to, you
• 8:35
  Speaker: know, I think when people are going through times of
• 8:38
  Speaker: transition, that's something that you brought up that kind of
• 8:41
  Speaker: resonated with me.
• 8:42
  Speaker: But those times of transition can be difficult.
• 8:45
  Speaker: And so if they're going out and
• 8:47
  Speaker: seeing everybody's highlight
• 8:48
  Speaker: reel and going, I can't even get
• 8:50
  Speaker: it together.
• 8:52
  Speaker: That's really difficult.
• 8:53
  Speaker: And that makes those transitionary times well, you
• 8:56
  Speaker: know, difficult whenever they're really important and even
• 9:00
  Speaker: feeling comfortable to bring up, you know, when everybody's going
• 9:05
  Speaker: around the circle and going, oh, I just got a new car.
• 9:08
  Speaker: Like, you know, everything's going great for me.
• 9:10
  Speaker: And then you go to the next one, they're like, you know, oh man,
• 9:13
  Speaker: you know, I just got married.
• 9:14
  Speaker: Everybody's having great.
• 9:15
  Speaker: And then you get to you and you're like, I wish I had a
• 9:17
  Speaker: space to be able to say that things are just all right.
• 9:23
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 9:23
  Speaker: Um, so it's refreshing to see, like both see that online and,
• 9:27
  Speaker: you know, hear that?
• 9:29
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 9:30
  Speaker: Do you feel people are reaching
• 9:31
  Speaker: out to you through your social
• 9:32
  Speaker: media?
• 9:32
  Speaker: I'm just curious.
• 9:34
  Speaker: This is also from a community standpoint.
• 9:37
  Speaker: I always have people in my DMs who are like, I relate to this
• 9:42
  Speaker: or you're not alone or I felt this way recently.
• 9:47
  Speaker: I always have people in my DMs
• 9:49
  Speaker: who are like, I relate to this,
• 9:52
  Speaker: or you're not alone, or I felt
• 9:54
  Speaker: this way recently or something
• 9:57
  Speaker: like that.
• 9:58
  Speaker: And so I try.
• 10:00
  Speaker: It's really hard because when
• 10:01
  Speaker: you are feeling down in the
• 10:03
  Speaker: dumps or it's a few weeks span
• 10:05
  Speaker: or like seasonal sadness just
• 10:09
  Speaker: coming out of that cave, um,
• 10:12
  Speaker: it's hard to want to post the
• 10:15
  Speaker: hard parts.
• 10:16
  Speaker: And I feel like to some level, I
• 10:20
  Speaker: also have to remember to like
• 10:21
  Speaker: protect my heart and guard my
• 10:24
  Speaker: own self.
• 10:27
  Speaker: Um, just because I don't want to
• 10:31
  Speaker: share everything with everyone
• 10:32
  Speaker: either.
• 10:32
  Speaker: But I do try to challenge myself to be a little bit vulnerable on
• 10:36
  Speaker: social media specifically for that reason, because I know that
• 10:39
  Speaker: I'm not the only one struggling.
• 10:41
  Speaker: And if someone else can feel
• 10:44
  Speaker: like they can be a little bit
• 10:45
  Speaker: more human when they come to my
• 10:47
  Speaker: page, like that is important to
• 10:49
  Speaker: me.
• 10:51
  Speaker: What do you think contributed to you being able to use your
• 10:57
  Speaker: platform and your branding to support such authenticity?
• 11:03
  Speaker: Because from what I have seen of other photographers, for
• 11:07
  Speaker: example, taking straight from your field, I don't see anybody
• 11:11
  Speaker: doing what you're doing and you are a trendsetter.
• 11:14
  Speaker: That is like so inspiring to be
• 11:17
  Speaker: able to you're not just taking
• 11:19
  Speaker: pictures and creating art, which
• 11:21
  Speaker: you are doing that, but you're
• 11:23
  Speaker: doing it in such a powerful way
• 11:25
  Speaker: of the way you relate to your
• 11:29
  Speaker: clients and to your couples or
• 11:32
  Speaker: individuals, and giving them
• 11:34
  Speaker: your honest heart as who you are
• 11:37
  Speaker: as Emma.
• 11:37
  Speaker: Like what?
• 11:39
  Speaker: What do you think helped prepare
• 11:42
  Speaker: you for that or inspired you for
• 11:44
  Speaker: that, or gave you a vision for
• 11:46
  Speaker: that?
• 11:48
  Speaker: Because it's completely unique from anything I've seen.
• 11:52
  Speaker: Maybe I'm just limited in what I'm seeing, but it stands out in
• 11:56
  Speaker: a really positive way.
• 11:57
  Speaker: Thank you.
• 11:58
  Speaker: I really try to do that.
• 12:00
  Speaker: Um, I think that there are a lot
• 12:03
  Speaker: of photographers who kind of see
• 12:05
  Speaker: beyond the art and the
• 12:06
  Speaker: photography, and is that I try
• 12:09
  Speaker: to be anyways, very mental
• 12:10
  Speaker: health forward.
• 12:11
  Speaker: Whereas like, I don't think
• 12:13
  Speaker: that's a part of the
• 12:13
  Speaker: conversation with a lot of other
• 12:15
  Speaker: photographers.
• 12:16
  Speaker: Um, I is that I try to be
• 12:19
  Speaker: anyways, very mental health
• 12:21
  Speaker: forward.
• 12:21
  Speaker: Whereas like, I don't think
• 12:23
  Speaker: that's a part of the
• 12:23
  Speaker: conversation with a lot of other
• 12:25
  Speaker: photographers.
• 12:26
  Speaker: Um, I think that it's a surface level conversation, but when I'm
• 12:31
  Speaker: with my clients or when I'm showing up on social media, um,
• 12:36
  Speaker: I do try to get a little bit deeper and just ask about life
• 12:40
  Speaker: and really care about people and where they're at.
• 12:43
  Speaker: And I try to be present with my couples in the moment and allow
• 12:49
  Speaker: them to have a space where they can be fully present.
• 12:52
  Speaker: Um, I've even started.
• 12:54
  Speaker: This is something that's a little newer for me, but I've
• 12:57
  Speaker: started incorporating with some poses and guidance and prompts
• 13:02
  Speaker: that I do with my couples, adding in sort of this
• 13:05
  Speaker: meditation element of like, I want you guys to try it.
• 13:09
  Speaker: Like if I want a really calm photo, I, you can't take a calm
• 13:14
  Speaker: photo of someone who's like, anxious to be in front of the
• 13:17
  Speaker: camera because that's not calm.
• 13:19
  Speaker: And so if I want to like calm
• 13:20
  Speaker: things down a little bit, I'll
• 13:21
  Speaker: ask them to like, take a few
• 13:23
  Speaker: deep breaths.
• 13:24
  Speaker: And if I'm working with a
• 13:25
  Speaker: couple, I'll ask them to try to
• 13:26
  Speaker: sync their breathing with each
• 13:27
  Speaker: other.
• 13:28
  Speaker: Um, and just like, listen to the
• 13:31
  Speaker: sounds that are around, um, like
• 13:34
  Speaker: the birds or people talking or
• 13:36
  Speaker: just like different things, um,
• 13:39
  Speaker: to try to connect them to their
• 13:40
  Speaker: breath a little bit more, which
• 13:42
  Speaker: connects them to the present a
• 13:43
  Speaker: little bit more, which is kind
• 13:44
  Speaker: of fun.
• 13:45
  Speaker: Um, but yeah, I don't know.
• 13:47
  Speaker: I think that for me, where it all came from is probably just
• 13:52
  Speaker: like, honestly in our family from the start.
• 13:58
  Speaker: Like I remember doing what
• 14:00
  Speaker: family counseling and middle
• 14:01
  Speaker: school.
• 14:02
  Speaker: And so I think you and dad's
• 14:07
  Speaker: mental health journey really
• 14:09
  Speaker: spiked the rest of our mental
• 14:12
  Speaker: health journeys.
• 14:13
  Speaker: And I think I started therapy in twenty twenty one.
• 14:19
  Speaker: So I'm going on four years of therapy and I've gone pretty
• 14:24
  Speaker: much like every week, every two weeks, every three weeks kind of
• 14:27
  Speaker: thing, depending on the season and when I need it.
• 14:29
  Speaker: Um, but I feel like just allowing me to be myself, I, I
• 14:35
  Speaker: feel like I grew up.
• 14:36
  Speaker: Like I remember sorry.
• 14:38
  Speaker: I feel all over the place.
• 14:39
  Speaker: This might be where my ADHD is
• 14:40
  Speaker: showing, but I feel like growing
• 14:42
  Speaker: up in school and just in
• 14:45
  Speaker: friendships and stuff, I really
• 14:47
  Speaker: didn't know who I was, and I
• 14:49
  Speaker: tried to always be someone else
• 14:51
  Speaker: because I wanted to fit in and
• 14:53
  Speaker: have friends, and it felt like
• 14:55
  Speaker: everyone else was cooler than
• 14:56
  Speaker: me.
• 14:56
  Speaker: And I just wanted, like, I just wanted to fit in.
• 14:59
  Speaker: And now in the last few years, I
• 15:03
  Speaker: mean, throughout high school
• 15:05
  Speaker: too, I feel like you learn more
• 15:06
  Speaker: about yourself.
• 15:07
  Speaker: But in since starting therapy and my own mental health
• 15:12
  Speaker: journey, I'm just realizing who Emma is and like creating who
• 15:16
  Speaker: Emma is as twenty four, but also like accepting and acknowledging
• 15:21
  Speaker: who Emma was at sixteen and eighteen and twelve and fourteen
• 15:24
  Speaker: and ten and all the different ages, um, and allowing each of
• 15:29
  Speaker: those different versions of me to still be a part of me now.
• 15:37
  Speaker: Like allows me to show up as my full self.
• 15:39
  Speaker: I think that doesn't mean that I
• 15:41
  Speaker: don't change and grow, but
• 15:43
  Speaker: there's parts of me that are
• 15:46
  Speaker: still in me because I'm, I'm
• 15:49
  Speaker: still a six year old Emma, but
• 15:50
  Speaker: I'm twenty.
• 15:51
  Speaker: Does that make sense?
• 15:52
  Speaker: One hundred percent.
• 15:55
  Speaker: It's concepts I think, that we've introduced on this show
• 15:58
  Speaker: and talked about as well.
• 16:00
  Speaker: I'd say even more so you're not all over the place.
• 16:03
  Speaker: You're right in line.
• 16:04
  Speaker: I think, uh, that matches my experience growing up as well
• 16:09
  Speaker: with mom and dad, kind of.
• 16:11
  Speaker: I remember getting together as a family and doing affirmations.
• 16:14
  Speaker: Mhm.
• 16:15
  Speaker: Um, or I don't remember what it was for, but Noah saying
• 16:21
  Speaker: something like, we're gonna have to talk about this as a family.
• 16:27
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 16:28
  Speaker: I mean, even speaking of affirmations, like going down
• 16:30
  Speaker: another little rabbit hole of being your authentic self.
• 16:35
  Speaker: I just think I don't know what
• 16:37
  Speaker: it was like for you growing up,
• 16:40
  Speaker: Samuel.
• 16:40
  Speaker: Or even you mom.
• 16:41
  Speaker: Like what that was like when you were in school.
• 16:43
  Speaker: But I feel like people in school were mean and like it was.
• 16:50
  Speaker: How are you?
• 16:50
  Speaker: Cool.
• 16:51
  Speaker: Like you get to like, be mean to
• 16:52
  Speaker: people and that'll make you
• 16:53
  Speaker: cool.
• 16:54
  Speaker: And like, really, really whoever gets the like biggest sass and
• 16:58
  Speaker: like that is your cool if you like, have a good comeback.
• 17:02
  Speaker: And I'm just so glad that I grew
• 17:06
  Speaker: up, I guess because like,
• 17:09
  Speaker: speaking of affirmations
• 17:10
  Speaker: specifically, one thing that
• 17:12
  Speaker: I've incorporated like every
• 17:14
  Speaker: single wedding day that I go to
• 17:15
  Speaker: and I'd like to incorporate it
• 17:17
  Speaker: more, but I actually just talked
• 17:19
  Speaker: to my therapist therapist about
• 17:20
  Speaker: it today, about doing it in a
• 17:22
  Speaker: different way.
• 17:22
  Speaker: But I mornings of my wedding said, I'm going to shoot.
• 17:26
  Speaker: I'll like, look in the mirror as I'm getting ready.
• 17:27
  Speaker: And I'll say like, I'm creative.
• 17:29
  Speaker: I'm talented, I am created for this.
• 17:32
  Speaker: I am good at creating connections and just like remind
• 17:35
  Speaker: myself different affirmations.
• 17:37
  Speaker: Um, but yeah, my therapist was talking to me today about, um,
• 17:43
  Speaker: doing that in the form of safety and like saying I am safe and
• 17:47
  Speaker: because we're deep diving my anxiety a little bit.
• 17:50
  Speaker: And so working on, um, affirmations that specifically
• 17:54
  Speaker: help with my anxiety because I think those other affirmations
• 17:58
  Speaker: kind of helped with confidence and, but like, just speaking to
• 18:01
  Speaker: yourself positively is like, I think you're really the cool
• 18:05
  Speaker: humans that I see are like the ones that are doing meditation
• 18:09
  Speaker: and like affirmations and just being very positive with
• 18:12
  Speaker: themselves and with others.
• 18:14
  Speaker: And so I am just thankful for that switch because I feel like
• 18:17
  Speaker: that is healing a lot of like my middle school self who thought
• 18:20
  Speaker: that she had to be mean to herself and others to be cool.
• 18:24
  Speaker: It's not that I was a mean kid.
• 18:26
  Speaker: I just think that that was a
• 18:27
  Speaker: really popular thing in school
• 18:30
  Speaker: was like, how to be the cool
• 18:31
  Speaker: kid.
• 18:31
  Speaker: Now it's like, I don't really care if I'm the cool kid.
• 18:33
  Speaker: And also, I actually think it's ten times cooler when you're
• 18:36
  Speaker: able to like, be emotionally aware and like create that space
• 18:41
  Speaker: for other people.
• 18:46
  Speaker: I dig that.
• 18:47
  Speaker: That is awesome.
• 18:48
  Speaker: I, it's also wild, I think, you know, because Emma, we've
• 18:53
  Speaker: recently both sort of left.
• 18:55
  Speaker: I mean, childhood in that way is that even past post eighteen is
• 19:00
  Speaker: kind of hard.
• 19:02
  Speaker: But just to say, a lot of the
• 19:05
  Speaker: things that I assumed would be
• 19:07
  Speaker: core to life are not really
• 19:09
  Speaker: relevant.
• 19:10
  Speaker: And even like some of that
• 19:12
  Speaker: bullying and stuff is like not
• 19:14
  Speaker: as prevalent.
• 19:15
  Speaker: It's still prevalent in the real world for sure.
• 19:18
  Speaker: But even to say that like humans prefer non bullies.
• 19:23
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 19:24
  Speaker: Um, uh, I do wonder, like, and
• 19:27
  Speaker: I'm speaking honestly, somebody
• 19:29
  Speaker: I look to, uh, for good mental
• 19:31
  Speaker: health are two of the women on
• 19:34
  Speaker: this call.
• 19:35
  Speaker: And so I'm curious, Emma, in
• 19:36
  Speaker: times of transition, like you've
• 19:38
  Speaker: been through a lot of
• 19:39
  Speaker: transition, what attributes like
• 19:41
  Speaker: what, what behaviors do you find
• 19:43
  Speaker: yourself sticking to to help
• 19:45
  Speaker: keep you grounded in that
• 19:46
  Speaker: transition?
• 19:47
  Speaker: I think that it's kind of like a mindset.
• 19:54
  Speaker: I feel like for me, because I just, I don't know, one thing
• 19:57
  Speaker: I'm even exploring in business right now is like hustle culture
• 20:00
  Speaker: and how culture, just like you really got to get at it and you
• 20:05
  Speaker: have to be hustling twenty four seven and, um, I will do less.
• 20:10
  Speaker: Watch me thrive.
• 20:12
  Speaker: Um, but hustle culture just feels very hard.
• 20:16
  Speaker: And especially, I mean, with any field, you feel that, but I
• 20:22
  Speaker: think that owning your own business specifically, like
• 20:25
  Speaker: there's a lot of different hats that you have to wear, um, to
• 20:29
  Speaker: like make your business run.
• 20:31
  Speaker: And at those moments when I can feel myself kind of drowning in
• 20:37
  Speaker: like, it's hard for me to take care of myself right now.
• 20:40
  Speaker: I just, you know, I have to delete my apps, I have to delete
• 20:44
  Speaker: Instagram and TikTok and the things that are allowing me to
• 20:48
  Speaker: compare myself to other people.
• 20:49
  Speaker: And I have to just like really check in with myself.
• 20:52
  Speaker: And so, um, a couple things that
• 20:55
  Speaker: I do regularly that will like
• 20:59
  Speaker: never leave my routine is like a
• 21:02
  Speaker: daily walk and eating breakfast,
• 21:05
  Speaker: um, things that are like, which
• 21:09
  Speaker: they probably seem small, but
• 21:11
  Speaker: like those are sometimes things
• 21:12
  Speaker: that are the hardest for me to
• 21:13
  Speaker: do.
• 21:14
  Speaker: Like especially going through winter.
• 21:15
  Speaker: I definitely struggle with seasonal depression.
• 21:19
  Speaker: What is the, is there, isn't
• 21:21
  Speaker: there a term for that that's
• 21:22
  Speaker: probably seasonal affective
• 21:24
  Speaker: disorder.
• 21:26
  Speaker: Sad.
• 21:26
  Speaker: Yes, sad.
• 21:28
  Speaker: So I definitely I definitely struggle with that a little bit.
• 21:32
  Speaker: And or the sadness as you called them.
• 21:34
  Speaker: I know I like to, I think it's more fun.
• 21:37
  Speaker: Um, but in those, especially
• 21:41
  Speaker: when things like the Saudis come
• 21:43
  Speaker: around, those are some of the
• 21:45
  Speaker: hardest things to do for me,
• 21:46
  Speaker: like getting out of bed and just
• 21:48
  Speaker: making breakfast.
• 21:49
  Speaker: Eating food for me is really, really hard.
• 21:51
  Speaker: And so like, that is something that I come back to is like,
• 21:55
  Speaker: okay, how can I have a very like nutritious, life giving
• 21:59
  Speaker: breakfast that will support me?
• 22:00
  Speaker: And going on my walks are like super important to me, but I
• 22:05
  Speaker: kind of just decompress and go offline a little bit, um, and
• 22:10
  Speaker: just focus on, you know what?
• 22:12
  Speaker: Today my essentials are taking care of myself.
• 22:16
  Speaker: And if that means stretching and not doing anything, if that
• 22:19
  Speaker: means reading, if that means watching a movie, like that's
• 22:22
  Speaker: what I'm going to do.
• 22:22
  Speaker: I feel very blessed that my timeline and my schedule allows
• 22:26
  Speaker: for me to do that.
• 22:26
  Speaker: I feel like that's a really big gift of being your own boss is
• 22:30
  Speaker: that I can.
• 22:32
  Speaker: I do have the time and ability to do that regardless of what's
• 22:36
  Speaker: on my schedule, and I kind of make my own schedule.
• 22:38
  Speaker: Um, but yeah, that's like something that will never leave
• 22:44
  Speaker: for me as daily walks and breakfast is key.
• 22:50
  Speaker: It's really foundational for the
• 22:52
  Speaker: start of your day of what, what
• 22:55
  Speaker: do I need to give myself strong
• 22:57
  Speaker: support to help me through this
• 22:59
  Speaker: day?
• 22:59
  Speaker: And certainly there are, you
• 23:02
  Speaker: know, those who morning is the
• 23:04
  Speaker: hardest time.
• 23:05
  Speaker: It's getting started.
• 23:06
  Speaker: People are waking up either with
• 23:09
  Speaker: a whole lot of anxious thoughts
• 23:10
  Speaker: for what the day is going to
• 23:11
  Speaker: hold, or potentially feeling so
• 23:14
  Speaker: heavy that it's hard to, to get
• 23:16
  Speaker: up.
• 23:17
  Speaker: Um, so having that start to the
• 23:20
  Speaker: day be very intentional to,
• 23:23
  Speaker: okay, I don't even have to think
• 23:24
  Speaker: about what I'm going to do
• 23:26
  Speaker: because it's so much a body
• 23:28
  Speaker: memory of, I'm going to wake up,
• 23:30
  Speaker: I'm going to make sure I'm
• 23:31
  Speaker: starting with that foundation
• 23:33
  Speaker: being solid.
• 23:35
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 23:35
  Speaker: I also recommend that people get cats.
• 23:39
  Speaker: My cats get me out of bed every
• 23:41
  Speaker: single day, and it's the best
• 23:44
  Speaker: thing ever.
• 23:44
  Speaker: So that's actually the cure to all mental illness is cats.
• 23:48
  Speaker: You heard it here.
• 23:48
  Speaker: First is tofu.
• 23:50
  Speaker: Yes.
• 23:50
  Speaker: Tofu and muffin.
• 23:54
  Speaker: One of the things that I love that you shared about in this is
• 23:58
  Speaker: going back earlier to what you said, but I wanted to make sure
• 24:00
  Speaker: that we name it is just how when you're able to be authentic and
• 24:06
  Speaker: real with people that offers such depth, like using that word
• 24:12
  Speaker: deep, I think of, um, being able to name the hard And kind of
• 24:20
  Speaker: having the wisdom for how to be real with that, um, requires
• 24:28
  Speaker: someone who's deep enough to do that hard work and not be just
• 24:34
  Speaker: scratching the surface or keeping ourselves so busy that
• 24:37
  Speaker: we're not in touch with what we're thinking or feeling, or
• 24:40
  Speaker: just pushing through and stressed out, but not able to
• 24:44
  Speaker: name any of it.
• 24:45
  Speaker: I think it takes us deeper in relationship when we have the
• 24:50
  Speaker: authenticity to offer someone a bit of our story or, um, in
• 24:57
  Speaker: recovery language, they use the phrase, um, your experience,
• 25:01
  Speaker: strength and hope.
• 25:03
  Speaker: It's not even necessarily giving people advice.
• 25:05
  Speaker: It's just shared life together that that is, is connecting and
• 25:12
  Speaker: empowering and life giving and it's not intrusive or pushing
• 25:19
  Speaker: yourself on somebody.
• 25:20
  Speaker: It's just saying, hey, I'm showing up like I'm here to to
• 25:25
  Speaker: be in this with you.
• 25:27
  Speaker: Mhm.
• 25:28
  Speaker: Which I think is probably as I sit and see half of my children
• 25:32
  Speaker: here, um, that is probably my greatest passion that, that I
• 25:38
  Speaker: would want to be known for is that I'm showing up and that I'm
• 25:41
  Speaker: here to be with you.
• 25:43
  Speaker: And that also kind of echoes
• 25:45
  Speaker: what our podcast is here for
• 25:47
  Speaker: that, that we're showing up and
• 25:49
  Speaker: we're trying to live life
• 25:50
  Speaker: together and we do that
• 25:52
  Speaker: authentically.
• 25:53
  Speaker: We do that honestly, as far as, um, you know, there's no
• 25:57
  Speaker: pretense of we're.
• 26:00
  Speaker: Over, over achieving the things, um, the comment that Emma made
• 26:05
  Speaker: earlier, I'll just clarify for those who may have heard it in
• 26:08
  Speaker: passing, I have a rest deck that was given to me actually from
• 26:14
  Speaker: another family member that we should also have on off the
• 26:17
  Speaker: beaten path, actually.
• 26:18
  Speaker: Um, but it has affirmations within the rest deck and it
• 26:22
  Speaker: says, I will do less.
• 26:25
  Speaker: Watch me thrive.
• 26:26
  Speaker: And I picked that one out almost
• 26:29
  Speaker: like during the holidays of
• 26:31
  Speaker: what's this new year going to
• 26:32
  Speaker: look like?
• 26:33
  Speaker: What do you want to focus on?
• 26:35
  Speaker: And I just like leave that on my
• 26:37
  Speaker: desk as a, okay, I don't have to
• 26:39
  Speaker: always do more because that can
• 26:42
  Speaker: exhaust us.
• 26:43
  Speaker: And so sometimes we can slow it down and have more depth, more
• 26:50
  Speaker: quality, more presence as we, um, simplify it a little bit
• 26:57
  Speaker: because life is already complex and hard enough.
• 27:00
  Speaker: So if we can be kind to ourselves and, um, and not that
• 27:06
  Speaker: hustle culture that you were talking about pushing and
• 27:08
  Speaker: pressing and having to stress ourselves out so much.
• 27:14
  Speaker: So yeah, I like all of that.
• 27:17
  Speaker: The other thing I just wanted to
• 27:18
  Speaker: touch on super quickly is that I
• 27:21
  Speaker: think giving yourself the
• 27:22
  Speaker: reminder that it takes practice
• 27:24
  Speaker: because I was just thinking
• 27:25
  Speaker: about even in my business, I'm
• 27:27
  Speaker: kind of in this spot where I'm
• 27:30
  Speaker: super excited to work more like
• 27:32
  Speaker: I'm coming out of the season of
• 27:34
  Speaker: winter.
• 27:34
  Speaker: There's not a ton of weddings and I have a lot of weddings, a
• 27:37
  Speaker: lot of travel, a lot of exciting things coming up.
• 27:39
  Speaker: And I'm super excited to just like dive right in.
• 27:42
  Speaker: But so you telling even me about my depth and my business, it
• 27:48
  Speaker: doesn't really feel like I've been that deep in my business
• 27:51
  Speaker: because I feel like I've been doing the deep work with my
• 27:56
  Speaker: personal life, and I haven't really been sharing that as much
• 27:58
  Speaker: just because, you know, the Sadie is working on me.
• 28:01
  Speaker: Um, but I don't know, I just, I
• 28:04
  Speaker: like what you said, and I'm also
• 28:05
  Speaker: allowing myself to take the
• 28:07
  Speaker: reminder and permission to just
• 28:10
  Speaker: practice being deep and practice
• 28:14
  Speaker: having that connection with
• 28:15
  Speaker: other people and practice that
• 28:18
  Speaker: within myself.
• 28:19
  Speaker: And it doesn't always look like perfect.
• 28:22
  Speaker: It can be something that takes time to choose less versus
• 28:27
  Speaker: hustling and just all the things we've talked about.
• 28:29
  Speaker: I'm just reminding myself that it takes practice and like, it's
• 28:33
  Speaker: okay to be in the practice stage because that's kind of life.
• 28:37
  Speaker: Life is practicing.
• 28:39
  Speaker: Agreed.
• 28:41
  Speaker: I think it takes off the pressure to, to even be like,
• 28:44
  Speaker: hey, I'm, I want to practice better mental health, you know?
• 28:48
  Speaker: Oh, I miss that opportunity.
• 28:49
  Speaker: But I want to get the next one,
• 28:51
  Speaker: you know, or maybe I make an
• 28:52
  Speaker: opportunity for myself right
• 28:54
  Speaker: here.
• 28:55
  Speaker: Um, and what the practices are,
• 28:59
  Speaker: you know, if you, if you change
• 29:00
  Speaker: it from the verb of being a
• 29:02
  Speaker: practice to a noun that the
• 29:06
  Speaker: practice of, um, good self-care,
• 29:09
  Speaker: doing what you need to, to show
• 29:13
  Speaker: up in meditation and mindfulness
• 29:16
  Speaker: affirmations.
• 29:18
  Speaker: Um, those are all things that are foundational, you know, that
• 29:24
  Speaker: they are practices.
• 29:26
  Speaker: Does that make sense?
• 29:27
  Speaker: They are practices that we are practicing.
• 29:29
  Speaker: So, um, those are good things to build for mental health, you
• 29:35
  Speaker: know, good foundational things to have that we keep coming back
• 29:38
  Speaker: to coming back to home base.
• 29:42
  Speaker: I've almost heard that.
• 29:44
  Speaker: I think we've heard that on this
• 29:45
  Speaker: podcast for those of our
• 29:47
  Speaker: listeners that, that watch or
• 29:50
  Speaker: listen, I guess technically you
• 29:52
  Speaker: all can't watch, but you can
• 29:53
  Speaker: listen.
• 29:54
  Speaker: Um, uh, well, thanks so much for joining us this week.
• 30:00
  Speaker: Um, maybe we, maybe we, uh, well, Emma, uh, essentially how
• 30:05
  Speaker: we end each episode is we end with a gratitude or an
• 30:08
  Speaker: affirmation or a mantra.
• 30:10
  Speaker: You know, uh, almost like we can
• 30:12
  Speaker: do hard things being a good, uh,
• 30:14
  Speaker: mantra.
• 30:15
  Speaker: But while you're brainstorming that, I'll go ahead and, uh, uh,
• 30:21
  Speaker: you know, close this up.
• 30:22
  Speaker: I was thinking about, uh, making
• 30:24
  Speaker: Noah, you know, putting out the
• 30:26
  Speaker: call for Noah or Maddie to join
• 30:28
  Speaker: on that, uh, off the beaten path
• 30:30
  Speaker: as well.
• 30:31
  Speaker: Maddie has been on, if you
• 30:32
  Speaker: remember, it's been years, but
• 30:34
  Speaker: Maddie was on off the beaten
• 30:36
  Speaker: path.
• 30:36
  Speaker: I vaguely remember that she did.
• 30:38
  Speaker: I do know dad has been on.
• 30:40
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 30:40
  Speaker: So we'll just keep working our way through the family.
• 30:42
  Speaker: So the community roots community can kind of embrace the whole
• 30:47
  Speaker: fam, I love it.
• 30:48
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 30:49
  Speaker: I also wanted to shout out Steve Dodge.
• 30:51
  Speaker: Uh, he, uh, helped out with the theme song and Alexander Wells,
• 30:56
  Speaker: who did all of our logos and fun stuff like that.
• 31:00
  Speaker: Um, and then I did want to also
• 31:01
  Speaker: shout out mom in her practice
• 31:03
  Speaker: jar counseling.
• 31:04
  Speaker: That's where Emma and Mom are right now.
• 31:07
  Speaker: Um, they're the ones who sponsor community routes, but, um.
• 31:12
  Speaker: Yeah.
• 31:13
  Speaker: Okay.
• 31:14
  Speaker: Uh, mom, do you want to start
• 31:16
  Speaker: with an affirmation or a
• 31:18
  Speaker: gratitude?
• 31:18
  Speaker: I'm going to say gratitude.
• 31:20
  Speaker: Um, today we are celebrating a family birthday and I am looking
• 31:25
  Speaker: forward to family time together and that often, you know, stirs
• 31:31
  Speaker: up laughter, fun reflection stories, just the togetherness
• 31:38
  Speaker: that there's so much going on on our calendars and on our plates,
• 31:41
  Speaker: but it's so good to pause.
• 31:43
  Speaker: So whatever that might look like for you all that are listening
• 31:46
  Speaker: today, take a moment to pause, to connect to yourself, to the
• 31:51
  Speaker: people in your life that that matter and soak that in.
• 31:57
  Speaker: We'll be doing that today.
• 32:02
  Speaker: What have you got, Emma?
• 32:04
  Speaker: Um, Well.
• 32:06
  Speaker: Second.
• 32:06
  Speaker: Second.
• 32:07
  Speaker: I second everything mom said.
• 32:08
  Speaker: Um, because I'm excited to see the family today.
• 32:12
  Speaker: Mhm.
• 32:12
  Speaker: And I feel like it's this might be confusing without more
• 32:17
  Speaker: context into my life, but I'll just say it regardless because
• 32:20
  Speaker: it feels authentic to where I'm at and what's going on.
• 32:24
  Speaker: But I feel like I'm currently
• 32:30
  Speaker: maybe potentially going to
• 32:31
  Speaker: undergo another transition this
• 32:33
  Speaker: year of just like moving and not
• 32:35
  Speaker: knowing where we're going to be
• 32:36
  Speaker: at.
• 32:37
  Speaker: And so I feel like my affirmation is like, I am safe
• 32:43
  Speaker: even in transition or I'm, I'm present and here.
• 32:51
  Speaker: Through transition or something, something of like, I'm here and
• 32:54
  Speaker: I'm me regardless of what happens and the transitions that
• 32:59
  Speaker: happen, um, coming this year.
• 33:01
  Speaker: So I think that's where I'm at.
• 33:04
  Speaker: I like that.
• 33:05
  Speaker: I will say one thing I'm going to take away from our
• 33:07
  Speaker: conversation today is I am safe.
• 33:09
  Speaker: I really like that affirmation.
• 33:11
  Speaker: I think even within my own body,
• 33:13
  Speaker: sometimes I feel that lack of
• 33:17
  Speaker: safety.
• 33:17
  Speaker: Even whenever I'm in a completely safe environment.
• 33:21
  Speaker: So that's both confusing and disorienting and not fun.
• 33:25
  Speaker: Um, so thank you for sharing.
• 33:28
  Speaker: I'm looking forward to implementing that.
• 33:29
  Speaker: Um, I'll end this off.
• 33:31
  Speaker: I will say, uh, I know we
• 33:34
  Speaker: sometimes talk about whether too
• 33:35
  Speaker: much on this show, but with the
• 33:38
  Speaker: warming of the weather, I go
• 33:39
  Speaker: outside and I'm like literally
• 33:41
  Speaker: smiling.
• 33:42
  Speaker: It's so nice to not have to put
• 33:44
  Speaker: on a coat or to have to like
• 33:47
  Speaker: mentally pace myself to go
• 33:50
  Speaker: outside.
• 33:50
  Speaker: I was in Erie a couple months ago, and I had to push all my
• 33:53
  Speaker: weight against a door because the wind was so heavy.
• 33:56
  Speaker: Oh. And I just walked outside this morning and the birds were
• 34:00
  Speaker: chirping and it was bright out.
• 34:02
  Speaker: and I was like, ah.
• 34:03
  Speaker: So my gratitude is we made it to spring.
• 34:07
  Speaker: We did.
• 34:08
  Speaker: The groundhog was right.
• 34:09
  Speaker: It is coming.
• 34:11
  Speaker: It came.
• 34:13
  Speaker: But, uh, well, thanks so much to both of you, Emma.
• 34:17
  Speaker: Mom.
• 34:17
  Speaker: It was fantastic having us.
• 34:19
  Speaker: You both on the show, you know, uh, momentous.
• 34:22
  Speaker: Historic.
• 34:23
  Speaker: Yes.
• 34:24
  Speaker: Um, but, uh, otherwise, uh, if
• 34:27
  Speaker: you're listening, feel free to
• 34:29
  Speaker: reach out if this resonated with
• 34:31
  Speaker: you or if something stood out to
• 34:33
  Speaker: you, feel free to reach out to
• 34:34
  Speaker: us.
• 34:34
  Speaker: We'd love to have that conversation.
• 34:37
  Speaker: Um, and regardless, uh, we will talk to you guys soon.
• 34:43
  Speaker: Bye.