Latest / Can I Speak? / S1E4: Can I Speak.... About Unpopular Opinions?
Transcript
- Chloé: Hey y'all, welcome or welcome back to another episode of Can I Speak? My name is Chloe. Dae: I'm Day. Elijah Jay: and I'm Eliza. Dae: Three friends. Chloé: Three perspectives. Elijah Jay: One conversation. Chloé: Alright, y'all, before we talk about today's episode, as y'all can see, we're all wearing pink because it is the month of October and we want to acknowledge Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And shout out to all the survivors, and our hearts are full for those who unfortunately did not survive. And if you're a woman, just go get checked out, do what you're supposed to do. it's breast cancer awareness month. Happy October. Dae: Happy October. Me and you can go get checked as well. Me and Ken have breast cancer. A of people don't know. Chloé: I'm sorry, yes. the doctor knows things that I don't mean. Elijah Jay: soon. Chloé: Please go also get checked, thank you. Dae: Yeah, for sure. Elijah Jay: That's good, that's good. Chloé: So y'all today we are talking about unpopular opinions. And y'all know all of this, we have a lot of So I'm ready to get into it. I'm ready to see what y'all think are unpopular. Elijah Jay: I'm excited about Dae: wait. Elijah Jay: this one. excited. But you know, before we get into all that, we have to do a mic check. It's been a minute. It's been a minute. So how have y'all been? What's been going on? Let me in with the tea. Chloé: You know, life has been life. I just celebrated a birthday, so I think that's good. I think that puts my Dae: Huh? Chloé: yes, I think that puts my my rating one through ten a little bit higher. The Lord has been kind, grateful for another year. so I would say October has started off pretty good. I'll give it probably like an eight point five. Dae: That's good. We love Elijah Jay: That's good. Dae: to hear it. That's high. Chloé: That's high, I know. That's high. Dae: For me, October has been really good as well. I'm doing what I love, learning more about myself, the people I'm around. Just like I'm on a high right now. So I would also Elijah Jay: I love that. Dae: have to say October for me so far. with a days Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: has been like an eight out of 10. Chloé: That's good. Elijah Jay: That's good. For me, October has been pretty good. You know, we're here. Nothing new, know, same old, same old. We just rocking and rolling. I am learning that I can't party like I used to. The recovery, the recovery do not Dae: Put you down. Elijah Jay: be recovery. Chloé: I said, ooh, we at twenty one I'll be able to get up and go. I needed three days rest. Elijah Jay: and do it all over again, but now I be laid out. Chloé: Truly. Whoa. Dae: That's cause y'all pushing 30. Okay, so. Elijah Jay: that's this. Chloé: Our birth gear start with a two. What's yours start with? Dae: Anyways, what were we about? Elijah Jay: But yeah, overall, Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: it's been good. I'd say mine is probably like an eight as well. Like, no complaints. Dae: Okay, good. Chloé: Y y'all wanna know why y'all October rate's so high? 'Cause Dae: No thank you. Chloé: the Queen was winning October, so it just gives good energy. Elijah Jay: I'll give you that, because this has been a good month. This has been good. Dae: okay. Yes. I Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: mean, yeah. The queen. Elijah Jay: Y'all are funny. That's how y'all ready to jump right in here? Alright. Chloé: Let's get into it. Let's get into Dae: Let's do it. Chloé: the medicine to the tea. Elijah Jay: Alright y'all, so what's an unpopular opinion that you're gonna stand on no matter how many people disagree with you? Chloé: Okay, I'ma start off real light, fun, and airy. macaroni don't need no cheese sauce. I hate when people get in the kitchen and they get on that stove Dae: Pfft! Chloé: and start making making a sauce for their macaroni. It don't it does not require that. Macaroni is the delicacy. And when we start seasoning, or garlic, onion, paprika, boiled them noodles with their cheese. I hate macaroni with the cheese sauce. That's my unproper LRP. Elijah Jay: and you should have kept it. Dae: All of this right before November. You could have said this in January, we wouldn't have looked at you. You waited. Chloé: I hate it. Elijah Jay: No, Cheesa. Chloé: Kirlen. Elijah Jay: So, no, you have to walk me through this. What are you putting in it? Chloé: Boil the noodles. they they might talk me stuff. we Dae: Y'all, should bring back, Khloe used to do a Kitchen Chronicles on Instagram. We should bring Chloé: Kitchen Chronicles, yes. Dae: that back. Starting with the mac and cheese, go ahead. Elijah Jay: moving. Chloé: Boil the noodles, okay? Throw your little Dae: Okay. Chloé: salt in and boil boil your noodles. Get you all your cheese. You have to manually shred the shirt the cheese. Don't get no bag of cheese. Get you a little condensed milk, a little evaporated milk. Pour that over your noodles. Put the cheese on there. Do a little mixer roo. Put that in the oven. All that extra on the stove, cheese sauce. I what what is that? Dae: That's exactly what you're making. You're just doing it in the noodles. Chloé: No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The ch people Elijah Jay: Yeah, because... Chloé: cheese sauce be thick. I don't like that. I don't like that. Don't give me the that's why I ya Elijah Jay: But so is your macaroni, is it still creamy or is it like, Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: like when you take your, Dae: From what? Elijah Jay: that's what. Chloé: Whoa. Okay, y'all, if I if y'all ever had Chick-fil-A macaroni, that's the kind of macaroni. Dae: I knew she, I knew, I knew she was about to say that. Chloé: That's my favorite kind of macaroni. Chick-fil-A. So I want it to taste like Chick-fil-A. Dae: I wish I had a button for crickets over here. Okay, we listen and we don't judge. wait, maybe we Elijah Jay: You Chloé: Believe Okay. Elijah Jay: Right, this is a safe space. Dae: should do one for food for Thanksgiving, but go ahead, brother. Elijah Jay: mine would be... I got so many I Just because you're old doesn't mean I automatically have to respect you. It needs to be earned, Dae: Okay. Elijah Jay: you know? Dae: I agree. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: Do you wanna speak? Elijah Jay: I feel like that's a no-brainer. Chloé: Respect your Dae: Now she's thinking. Chloé: respect your elders. Elijah Jay: I mean... Chloé: Respect respect your elders. Dae: Also, elders respect me. Chloé: Yes, ma'am, Dae: If Chloé: no ma'am, yes sir, no sir. Like Dae: That's no problem, right? Elijah Jay: Yeah, I was gonna say, I Chloé: Right. Elijah Jay: feel like that's a given. I was, that's like in my Chloé: Right. Elijah Jay: natural language. I don't think that is... Chloé: What do y'all mean r what what does that mean? Dae: If granny gets on the subway and calls you everything but a child of God, slaps you across your face and then spits on you, respect your elders. Yes ma'am, no ma'am. No, respect me also. Elijah Jay: Or like you just know how old people like they got a slick Dae: She's thinking. Elijah Jay: mouth like you just popping it. You overly Chloé: But if Elijah Jay: popping it and I don't have the right to say something back. at least just correct you, you know? Chloé: But if we know this about that generation, what's the point of arguing with them? Elijah Jay: because if we continue to let it go, it's gonna be a continued cycle. At some point we have to. Chloé: They'll never stop. They will never stop. Dae: But I think they're also not stopping because nobody's holding them accountable because it's always Elijah Jay: Right. Dae: like, well, they're just like that, or that's how they've always been. At some point. Chloé: I feel like and that's the problem with our generation, we'd be taking on tasks that don't have nothing to do with us. Let the Lord handle them. Dae: Now that does have something to do with me. If they're disrespecting. Chloé: No Elijah Jay: Actually... Dae: And if they're disrespecting me, that has everything to do with me. Chloé: The Lord will fight for you. Please just keep your Keep your peace. Keep your peace. I don't know. I don't and Dae: No? And I will also keep my peace after I get to wear granny abs. Okay. Chloé: I'll be like, okay. May the Lord bless you and keep you and I'll just go on about my day. Dae: And Granny got on the bus, speak of you, and caught you. Okay. Sister, I hope to see you. Chloé: Ha ha ha. Elijah Jay: I clearly got some growing up to do. Dae: I hope that you be there when the Lord lets me in the gates. I hope he just gives you the key to open them all up. wee. I mean, it's sick. Chloé: And that that only applies to old people. So if you're young, please don't try me. But if you, you know. Dae: So what's the age? Like what's the age? Chloé: Like seventy five plus. Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: I get Dae: So they're Elijah Jay: it. Dae: in their right mind enough to drive. Chloé: You know. Dae: But okay. All right, yeah, definitely unpopular over here. Chloé: Totally. Dae: Let's go. Let me see. What's an unpopular opinion that I have? This one, just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Chloé: wee, that's super Elijah Jay: Mmm. Chloé: unpopular. Cause do-its. I'm Dae: No. And that applies to everything. Just because you can and just because you have the opportunity to do so doesn't mean you should. Times and seasons. Chloé: Mm. Dae: My name is Deja. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Elijah Jay: Very. Chloé: I feel like we have one life. And if you have the opportunity to do something, do it. 'Cause how do you how are you so sure that that's gonna come back around again? Dae: It might not. Chloé: So Dae: But also, and I just feel like there's things that we can do. And I feel like oftentimes we do those things, God ain't permitted us to do nothing. But because we can, we go and do. Chloé: Mm. Mm. I might have just got convicted a little. You hold on. You talk about this after the pie. You don't embarrass me on here like that. Dae: Wait. You know. What's happening? But that's my unpopular opinion. Just because you can or the opportunity presents itself doesn't mean you shouldn't. Chloé: I think that's a good one. I Elijah Jay: was really good. Dae: Let us know y'all's unpopular opinion in the comments. Chloé: Yeah, drop drop your unpopular Elijah Jay: Yeah. Chloé: opinion in the comments. Okay, so this brings me back to the old people conversation. What do y'all think is something that people consider rude or disrespectful that you think is acceptable? Dae: I know yours. Yeah. I'm trying Chloé: Eat Dae: to think about mine. Elijah Jay: Wait, say that one Chloé: The question What is something that people think is rude and disrespectful that you think is acceptable? Mm. Dae: Mmm. Chloé: okay. I Dae: You know yours? Chloé: I know yours, but I think mine different from what you think mine is. Dae: I don't, okay. Go ahead. Chloé: You can remove yourself from somebody's life with no explanation. Dae: Okay. Chloé: Like I don't have to tell you why I stopped talking you. Like I actually owe Dae: Okay. Chloé: you nothing. And I feel like our generation or society in general, like, you should say something or just, you know, whatever. I don't got to mm. I don't have to tell I don't have to tell you anything. I don't have to tell you anything. And Dae: Thank you Jesus. He's so kind. That's good. Chloé: I feel like people know what they do. Like you know what you did. What are we talking about? Y'all know I'm quick the block. Never blocked with so long. I never played about blocking nobody. Dae: I mean, quick. Let's delete the contact first. They were blocked three days ago. Elijah Jay: Yeah, I know I disagree with that one. I Chloé: They were blocked before they responded. Elijah Jay: always disagree with that one. I feel like it takes nothing to just give a simple what's going on and then... Chloé: Hey, I stopped talking to you because X Y Z? Dae: Okay, ooh, maybe this should be a friendship part too, but like, if you don't, tell them. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: Once you stop talking to somebody, do you not care if they like correct their behavior for the next person or you like... Because if you don't bring it to their attention, I'm just asking. If you don't bring it to their attention, they just never know. And then they don't know that like, this is something I need to change, girl, from, or this is even an issue that I Chloé: feel like if I stop talking to you, that's your moment to self reflect. Dae: But like, but they don't know why. Chloé: figured out. I feel like that's a Dae: Okay. Chloé: I feel like that's the part of self reflection. I Dae: huh. Chloé: but I feel like before I block you, there is a few opportunities for grace. So the conversations Dae: You Chloé: Okay, maybe there's a singular opportunity for Dae: I mean you have a two hour period before clock hits. Chloé: And they better c you better correct that behavior as soon as I something. 'Cause I never played. Dae: That's good. Okay. Chloé: Yeah, so that's mine. I don't gotta tell you nothing. And I'm not. Dae: People might consider it rude that like, I you on social media, but you're not responding or texting me back. I don't care. Chloé: I just got on somebody I got on somebody's tell about that yesterday. Dae: I don't care if I'm live on channel 5. With my phone in hand. And you see it ringin'. I Chloé: D and it's R D and D. Dae: just, I get back to you when I can. At my earliest comedian. Chloé: Mm. Elijah Jay: Absolutely. Chloé: Ooh. I am. This is not safe for me. Elijah Jay: I like it with that one. Dae: Chloe, welcome to your innovation. Chloé: And I'm kind of contradicting myself because I'm a firm believer. This is my phone and my bill. And I do as I please. But if I see you actively on social media and my message is undelivered, or you read it. Dae: And red. Chloé: especially if I like Elijah Jay: my rate. Chloé: ask you a question. Elijah Jay: Mm. Dae: Okay. Chloé: Now if I just like send you something, like a little TikTok, you know, but if I ask you something, if it's something serious, Okay. Bet I'll bet Dae: You Chloé: I won't ask you nothing ever again. Bet I won't. Elijah Jay: But most times your phone is on like do not deserve. So it's like, you don't get the message, but you can click on like TikTok or Instagram, you know. Chloé: No, she got it. She got it. Dae: No, it definitely delivers. Chloé: She she actually saw it. Dae: But you know, and I do this often, but I will read a message and respond in my head. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: I was gonna say I've done that too. Or I'll type it, go to do something else and they'll hit sing it. Dae: And the next time I see it will be when I already text you. Two weeks from now. Chloé: Right. Be like, too much. Dae: I definitely miss mine. Elijah Jay: You send your message, then you scroll over and you see, you sent something. I gotta go react to that real quick. okay, y'all, I'm a gentleman. Let's put that out there first. I'm a gentleman. But. like it's more inconvenient for me to like get up to give you my Chloé: Ha ha ha! Dae: We Chloé: Ha Dae: got a little finish. We got a little finish. Yeah, please write the vision and make it plain. Elijah Jay: Okay, I have to set the scene first because I really don't want y'all to think that I'm not a gentleman. So Chloé: Yeah, make it plain. Elijah Jay: we're in the convention. They're recording the convention. I'm in the first two rows. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: All the seats are filled and you know, there's maybe some women coming in and they don't have a seat. But Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: they're recording the session. You know, I would be blocking the camera view if I had to get out the way, signal you to come get my seat, you know, all the things. So I should just stay seated. Chloé: So what I'm supposed to do. Elijah Jay: stand until they find a seat. I feel like Dae: Thank you, Jesus. Elijah Jay: that's where the other people come and they bring us eat. But I am a gentleman. If it's easy for me Chloé: Ha ha Elijah Jay: to give Dae: I Elijah Jay: my seat to you, I will do it. But you know. Chloé: But if it's inconvenient for you, you send down. Elijah Jay: No, that was an inconvenience for all of us. For production, Chloé: okay. Elijah Jay: for the people that speak in there. It's also a distraction. They're up there speaking. And we're doing this whole Dae: And you on the first order. Elijah Jay: interaction, you know? Chloé: Well a good woman would not walk up to the front to claim a seat. So then it becomes a her problem. Just get you to tell the man at the back, he'll see you. If he's a gentleman, he will stand. So if she walk up to the front, Elijah Jay: test room. But as for me... Dae: I think I have. Chloé: I totally agree with her. Dae: I think I have a Elijah Jay: I just but Dae: unpopular opinion than that in that scenario. You should just be on time. You should just be on time. Why are you late? Chloé: Enlighten us. Truly. Punctuality is a content of character. So Yeah, Dae: And it's not cute to be like. Chloé: to be early is to be on time. Dae: to be on time is to be lit. Elijah Jay: You know, think being late is a personality. Dae: I think people want it to be a personality. Chloé: Fashion of blue and they we look in a hot miss hot capital H O T miss and Elijah Jay: Your hair is still out of place. Chloé: the fit not even given y'all I hate and this is an African American thing I hate when the party starts at seven and people don't get there till 9:30 Dae: You know what I've learned? It's a brown thing, because Indian people do this, Africans do this. African time is worse than African Chloé: I Dae: American time. Chloé: I hate that. The party started at seven. I'm there at six forty five. Yeah. Dae: I didn't! Elijah Jay: 2735. Dae: 7-715. Because we're going to be part of the set up crew. Elijah Jay: Right? Chloé: But if I'm part of the setup crew, I'm not part of the take down crew, and I'd much rather set up than take down. Elijah Jay: The only time Dae: see, I rather take that. Elijah Jay: you will see me on time for a party or an event is if it's free before 11. I will be there at 10.01. Chloé: No Dae: I'm hollering. Chloé: Y'all, this just made me think about men being a gentleman. I feel like when I'm in the pres Y'all, I was with somebody, like it was Dae: Okay. Chloé: me and the guy, we were out together, and he held the door for me and there was a some girls coming behind us and he did not hold the door For them. And when I Elijah Jay: Hmm. Chloé: say I got something so mad, I literally apologize to him. Apologize to them. And I looked at him, I said, Are you are you crazy? Like it's things Dae: game. Chloé: like that. And then I also feel like when a man is in your presence and he has a hat on and he wants to talk to you, you need to take his hat off. Dae: Mmm. Look at Chloé: I believe Dae: it. Chloé: I believe in gentlemen you need to take that hat off if you're talking to me. And don't say nothing to me. Dae: Okay. You shouldn't be here with that. Elijah Jay: I don't have a haircut. You shouldn't be here without a haircut. Dae: So Chloé: Pip. Dae: let's see. Does the setting matter? Chloé: Said the same. Okay, now if we're outside no, I'm talking about if we're inside a building. Dae: Mah. Chloé: Yes. Dae: Y'all are in the food court of the Bahinist. Elijah Jay: This is it. Dae: Hello, my name is John. Chloé: Especially if he's trying to like talk to me, like trying to, you know, flirt with me. Please take that hat off. That's that's Dae: Okay. Chloé: that's respect for a woman. Mm-hmm. And I feel like that's minimal. Dae: Okay. Okay, me and take notes. Do y'all have y'all pen pads out? Chloé: And like you Elijah Jay: as this. Chloé: should never feel like you could talk to me, no haircut. So that can't even be an excuse. Dae: Ooh wee. I Elijah Jay: Yeah, you should not be in the mall. Dae: have another unpopular opinion about men. It Chloé: Why? Dae: has to do with the door opening thing. I feel like if a man is only nice to you... He's not a good man. Chloé: Thank you. That I had to let Mr. Only O Daddoor for me go. That was our last encounter. Yeah. Dae: Yeah, no, I just could never talk. I could never talk or date anybody that was only nice to me and they mean to every other woman or that's why when girls be like, I like, Chloé: Especially my friends. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: I like my me and mean, I just shut up. Chloé: Well, okay. Elijah Jay: I feel like those are insecure Dae: Yeah Elijah Jay: women or insecurities in that Dae: Yeah. Elijah Jay: person. Dae: Me? I don't know. Chloé: I don't like none too friendly. He could be polite and he could be respectful. He cannot be friendly. He cannot know. Dae: But yeah, polite. But just, like mean. Elijah Jay: Yeah Chloé: No. Elijah Jay: You want a bodyguard, basically. Chloé: Truly. Security. Buff, big, tall. Dae: I think, but yeah, okay. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: Y'all are attacking the mean today. That is crazy. Chloé: Mm, always. Dae: You know. Chloé: Girl power. Elijah Jay: what's an unpopular opinion about men and women that you think people aren't ready to hear? Dae: I have one. I think there's women that go around hitting men Chloé: Mm. Dae: and don't expect to get hit back because he's a man, he's not going to hit me back. I think if you hit anybody. they should hit you back. mean. Chloé: Real men don't hit women. Dae: Real women don't hit men. Keep your hands to yourself. Chloé: Sure, I definitely agree with that, but if it does unfortunately get to a point where it does get physical. Real men don't hit women. Because you already know your strength and your capabil No, granted. Please, chat, please don't eat me up. I understand that if she hits you, you know, your natural reflex is to hit her back. But as a man, you understand your strength and your capability, you're gonna hit her. She d dang near die. So just like Elijah Jay: And as a woman, you understood his capability to be that strong. Chloé: Ha ha ha. Dae: That's exactly what I was gonna say. That's exactly what I was gonna say. Chloé: Real men don't hit women. And I that's a hill I will die on. Now, do I think that women should go around slapping people upside their heads? Absolutely not. No. Keep your hands to yourself. I agree with all this. But in the case that it does get physical, real men don't hit women. Dae: I feel like everybody has their break to point. Chloé: And that's so childish. Two wrongs don't make it right. She hit me, so I hit back. Like that's crazy. Dae: but everybody got reflexes. Chloé: And we all have control. Dae: So use it, as a woman, use it. Elijah Jay: She's sitting. Chloé: I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. And I like I would personally never like hit no man. But like i in another world if I did, I wish I wish he might. Like I l I it's kinda like I dare you. And maybe that's where other women come from. Like, come on. Dae: But why would you, I feel like at that point you're just, Chloé: If it gets to that point. Dae: you're just pressing buttons. Chloé: No okay, I can see what you're saying. But like no. Dae: Okay, so... What could happen? Chloé: Re real men don't hit women. Put that across the screen. Thank you. Dae: As I'm the one that edits the videos, keep your hands to yourself. Elijah Jay: yourself Chloé: So I Elijah Jay: truly Chloé: I agree. Heh. Dae: Okay. What's something most people would consider a red flag that you don't necessarily see a problem with? Chloé: I think that as a woman in today's society, an independent black woman, we've made it a thing where like we don't need a man. I need a man. And I could be Dae: I agree. Chloé: I could be independent and all the things I need a man. Like and I think that's okay to say, and we've just made it you don't need no man, you can do everything by yourself. I can. I can do everything, but I think it's okay to need a man. I don't need Dae: I actually, I agree. Chloé: go ahead. Dae: I agree. Elijah Jay: In today's society, the women have become the ones, you know, they are the breadwinners and a lot of them are like, you know, what do I need a man for? Chloé: Truly. Elijah Jay: We need to go back to the days where women. Chloé: Find it. Actually ar arrest it. Dae: I mean, you better ask the Lord to help you hold it. Elijah Jay: Told you I need PR training. Y'all know what I'm trying to say Chloé: Where women would Dae: I don't know nothing. Elijah Jay: Like where you were just, you know, soft. Chloé: yeah. I get that 'cause I I'm real Elijah Jay: Submit, submit, like, you know. Chloé: I'm real submissive by mine. He say jump I danger say hi. Truly. Dae: I some questions. Elijah Jay: But yeah, I agree that was a good one. Chloé: Please ask. Dae: That won't be my first. What am I jumping Elijah Jay: Well... Dae: for? need, what's the vision behind the jump? Chloé: Where are we jumping? For what? Jump. We can't walk though? Elijah Jay: This is my salute. Y'all know I'm president of the sassy man apocalypse. I just feel like women need to normalize that a man can have something to say. You're gonna get a response. You're not gonna talk to me crazy and feel like I'm not gonna say something back to you. And that doesn't make me sassy. Dae: That doesn't make you sassy. think the delivery with which it's done can be sassy. Chloé: Yeah. And I think I think that's the problem with men. And y'all, we don't know how this turns in into men versus women. but and I'm I'm actually very proud that men are finding their voice. However, they don't have the emotional intelligence to use that voice as a grown man because it's like I'm looking at a grown man. But it's that six year old little boy in you who never got to express your feelings. So that's what makes you sassy because now you sound like a child versus just giving the delivery as a grown man, like, hey, I did not appreciate you talking to me like that. Elijah Jay: I feel like that's very two-handed. It's like, in one hand you're saying, I'm happy that you have your voice and you've acknowledged that we didn't have that before. But Chloé: Correct? Elijah Jay: then you're also saying, I don't like how you're, like, I get you don't know how to do it, but I don't like how you're doing it. So where do we Chloé: Two things can be true. Elijah Jay: give that grace? And then do you think calling me sassy is going to continue to help me develop finding my voice? Or is that going to make me close back in? Dae: think for me personally, this Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: is at this address, I would just never Chloé: Ha ha Dae: straight up, straight up just telling me like, you're being sassy. Elijah Jay: Hahaha! Dae: That's why I this address. Chloé: And I and for video purposes, I say sadly, but in real life Elijah Jay: It's large. Dae: That's something like, I would probably word it like a. Chloé: You acting like her Elijah Jay: course it can look many different ways. I use that wording for video purposes, but you Chloé: Yeah. Yeah, truly. Dae: Go ahead. Elijah Jay: there's different ways that a man has been, you know. Dae: I would probably just stop talking to you. Chloé: I'ma tell you that you acted like X Y Z, then I'm gonna block ya. So Elijah Jay: But that's what saying. So how I kind of think this goes back to like what they were saying about like the friends, like. Not necessarily saying you building that man up for the next woman, like blocking him does what? Chloé: That's all it is. Elijah Jay: Like how is he gonna continue? Chloé: That's all it is. It's Elijah Jay: How does the man, what does the man get out of that? You know? Chloé: not for him. I I'm not unpopular opinion, you don't build nobody up. You come ready to go, ready spaghetti, green bean. So when I notice that you're not ready, spaghetti, and green bean, I have to let you go. I'm not dealing with that. I'm not dealing with that. Mm mm. So I block you for me. I don't whatever whatever you do with the information I gave you is your choice. I block you for me and I feel like that's where the self reflection comes in. Dae: I think. If I was to call a man sassy, would be because he got like disrespectful. Chloé: And that's all they do is Dae: Bye. Chloé: it should try to meet Truly. Dae: I don't know, I don't talk to me. So this is all hypothetical. Elijah Jay: You Dae: And I mean, I don't talk to women. It's just me, okay? Quick look. Chloé: 'Cause I was like, sister, please clear that one. Elijah Jay: Hahaha. Chloé: I'm like, ooh. I was Dae: For everybody to be on here like, I knew it. Chloé: like, is she gonna say it or do I have someone jump in and help my girl? Dae: It's just me, but the Lord is what they be saying, he has me hidden. But I, it's Chloé: Truly. The road is narrow. Dae: not even a road, it's a path of grass. Ain't even been paid for real. I Chloé: A l it is a zip line. Do not fall. Elijah Jay: funny. Dae: think men are, I would just like, I just can't do like the disrespecting. Chloé: Yeah. Dae: So for me to be like, you're sassy, I would just have to be done. And I think at our big grown age, knowing how to effectively communicate and Chloé: Yeah. Dae: not only effectively communicate, but transition, communication styles based on who you're talking to is so important. Chloé: Yes, you have to be able to have some Elijah Jay: So. Chloé: duality. Elijah Jay: You and a guy have a spat, and this could be a friend, a partner, or someone you're Dae: Mm-hmm. Chloé: And that's where I gotta stop you 'cause what we spattin' for A disagreement. Okay. Yes. Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: talking to dating, anyone. Y'all have a... Or like, y'all have a disagreement. Yeah, y'all have a disagreement. Dae: It's fat. I didn't, well, it doesn't hurt me. Elijah Jay: And, you know, he goes to social media. Sassy? Chloé: really? I don't even want my man having Instagram. Dae: It's... That is sassy. Chloé: Cause go to so what are you doing? Vent to vent to God, Elijah Jay: All he's doing, he's just, it's an outlet. He's just letting us. Dae: But as someone who's Chloé: vent to that journal. Call your homeboy. Dae: dating Tamir, I feel like the things you do when we're dating, that will carry over into like, every time we have an argument when we're married, you're gonna run the social media. Are you crazy? Chloé: Hm. Elijah Jay: I mean, he not just like putting y'all stuff out there, but it's like... Chloé: So what is he doing? Dae: But now he quote posting them quotes, them random quotes. You might as take them down. Elijah Jay: Yeah, y'all know what y'all be putting in y'all little, you know, little note thing in a little, yeah. Chloé: in the notes. That's that's sassy. That's for girls. That's n that's not even for anybody, but if somebody's gonna do but Dae: Yes. don't even, I'm popular. Yeah. Chloé: if somebody's gonna do it, that's for girls. Elijah Jay: So Instagram said, we making this for the girls. Chloé: As a man that's my issue. Just be a man. Just be a man. Do man stuff. Elijah Jay: What is man's stuff? Dae: I I think it, now that's what I was gonna say. I think me and Chloe typically like the same structure of a man. Chloé: Yeah. Truly. Dae: I think there Elijah Jay: Okay. Dae: are women that would be okay with it. Elijah Jay: But as for you two. Dae: As for these houses, like I just, Chloé: It's for me and mom. Dae: I just don't, I don't, I can't have a man like, what do mean you don't know how to change a roof? Chloé: Or it's higher. Dae: or a tiger. Elijah Jay: But what if he got the premium plan with AAA? Chloé: That's sassy. Dae: That's as easy as, I don't agree, okay? I just, like, no, that's not for me. Elijah Jay: You can do both. Chloé: Two things can be true. Now he take Dae: or just know how to get it done. I just, Elijah Jay: Yeah, I was like, you Dae: I... Elijah Jay: can know how to get it done and still have the plan. Chloé: What that mean? We'll know how to get it done me. Like Dae: Even the outsourcing. Chloé: Okay. Elijah Jay: No, like, you Dae: I guess. Elijah Jay: can still know how to change the oil but still have the plan as well. Chloé: No, true. Okay, I agree with that. We can pay for the convenience for sure. He can pay him. I'm not paying nothing. But Dae: We love Kavice. Yeah. Elijah Jay: You Chloé: truly, but if it gets down to the nitty gritty, you have that because you want it, not because you need it. Yeah. Elijah Jay: because you need it, Dae: I just. My brother and daddy would talk so bad. Chloé: Like literally. Dae: What do you mean I gotta call my brothers? Call my daddy. Call my granddaddy. Chloé: Right. Cause you 'cause what you with him for is their main question. Dae: No, what does he do? But I think for some, it's definitely a preference thing. Some people wouldn't have a problem. Yeah, not deal with it. Some people are okay suffering like that. Chloé: Yeah. Some women deal with that. Yeah. And that's you know. Different strokes for different folks. Elijah Jay: God, they're funny. Dae: You know, I would go outside, be on some, I don't know. Chloé: Really? Break by break. Dae: But also, put yourself together, put on some slacks. just, I don't... Chloé: And get your nails done. Dae: Yeah. Chloé: Yeah. Two thing two things can Elijah Jay: I think they're done right now, but yes. Chloé: be true. For sure. Dae: Not as good. Elijah Jay: Healthy Balance. Chloé: For sure. Dae: Man, was. Chloé: I like that. Healthy balance. Elijah Jay: Y'all hate me. Dae: I don't. love a man. Elijah Jay: It is crazy. It's be a third type of me. Chloé: I love I love a good man. I love me a man. Dae: What's something most people would consider a red flag that you don't necessarily see as a problem? Chloé: Ooh wee. Elijah Jay: Stepping away. Dae: What do you mean? Elijah Jay: Like, yeah, taking your Dae: okay. Elijah Jay: time off. Dae: wait! Chloé: Ha ha ha. Elijah Jay: So, that's pretty good too. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: Yeah, I don't see anything wrong with disappearing, but I feel like a lot Dae: Okay. Elijah Jay: of people don't like that. Dae: I don't think anything is wrong with stepping away. Elijah Jay: Me either. Chloé: You gotta do what's best for you. You have to put you first. Dae: We laugh. Yeah. Elijah Jay: Now we know. Dae: Yeah. Elijah Jay: I gotta put me first, Lucious. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Truly. You don't have to tell people that you're in their city. I feel like that's a big one. I don't have to tell you that I I c I came to the city that you live in. Dae: I think it depends on the person. Or you Chloé: Really? Dae: don't think it depends. Chloé: She said you come to my city, Dae: Chloe, let me tell you one thing. Chloé: I don't know. Dae: If you decide. Chloé: To come to where where you stay in your city, your city. Okay. Dae: Sister, good luck on making it back to yours. Because I... Elijah Jay: Yeah. Chloé: Do I have to tell okay, hear me up. Can I tell you when I'm there or is it still wrong? I planned it and still didn't tell you. Dae: Okay, try not to piss me off. I think. Chloé: Ha ha ha Yeah. Dae: Are you just asking? Chloé: Yeah, and not for me. I'm go tell I'm saying I'm saying Dae: Yeah, okay. I was about to say pause. We'll be right back. Chloé: in general, in general. Dae: I think like I said, it depends on the person. Somebody from high school, Chloé: Okay. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: because I ran into some people here, they didn't Chloé: Mm-hmm. Dae: know I moved here. They said that you didn't say nothing. I mean, I had to talk to you, Chloé: I don't even know you. Yeah. Dae: like I appreciate, like I know you were here, like I thought about who moved, like who lived here. But I think sometimes it just be like a stretch to reach out to people and you ain't talk to them and you hear something about, I'm in your city. Chloé: Yeah. A month is Sundays. Yeah. Dae: And then you come to a city like this one, talking about some, I mean, yo, Cindy, actually, you're 45 minutes away. Stop. Yeah, you're 45 minutes away. So Chloé: Huh. You're not And that goes for all three of us. Yeah. Elijah Jay: No you're not. Truly. Dae: I think it depends on the person. Now, what are y'all trying to put? Chloé: Well let me let the record be now. I'll be in both of y'all cities in the month of November. So don't say you didn't know. Dae: Thank you. Thank you. we. Elijah Jay: you Chloé: But mm Elijah Jay: I was gonna ask a follow-up question. Chloé: hmm. Elijah Jay: for you to not say anything, is it because they wouldn't fit in your plans or you just don't feel the Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: need to say anything in general? Chloé: Feel like if I'm there for a specific reason and like you don't fit in that reason, then it's and depending on the if I was in y'all cities and I was there for a specific reason, of course y'all would know. But like other people, like we cool, but you know, if I'm there and I'm on a vacation with my man, we ain't finna do nothing with you. Love you, but Dae: Yeah, yeah, that's right. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Chloé: but if I if Elijah Jay: I get you. Chloé: I bring my man to y'all cities, y'all go no. Just let that be no Elijah Jay: I just wanna put that out there. I Dae: You Elijah Jay: feel like that kinda goes in, cause I did see a post Dae: Did not see a picture. Elijah Jay: where it was like, Dae: At the bean time, I said, I'm here. Elijah Jay: you shouldn't expect or it's wrong to ask to stay Chloé: Now now she had the bee. Elijah Jay: at your friend's house when you're in their city. Dae: Okay, I was gonna ask if we could talk about that. You saw that on TikTok? Chloé: It's wrong to ask? Elijah Jay: I don't know if I saw that on Instagram or TikTok, but I saw the post. Chloé: Like, is it wrong to ask? Elijah Jay: Yeah, is it wrong to ask to like basically Chloé: Hmm. Elijah Jay: stay with your friend when you're in their city? Okay. Dae: Let me get some context. Can Chloé: Use your resources Dae: I get some context? Chloé: wisely, yes. Dae: Let me give y'all some context. So there's this girl and she was like, you shouldn't ask to stay with your friend when you're coming to their city. Blase, blase. She was talking about how she lives in New York and basically. Chloé: That's a little different. Space is tight. Dae: Space is tight, but I don't care. Get over here in this bed. Chloé: Mm. Dae: What, and hold on, let's be clear, this don't go for all the y'all, so please. But my friends, I wish you, I'm getting a hotel. And now if you wanna come and like do a little vacation solo thing and just be in my city. Chloé: Yeah, dilly dally. Yeah. Dae: Okay, cool. I think I would be more offended. Chloé: I feel like even okay. More offended even when you got a man and kids. Hmm. With my man and my kid. Elijah Jay: I was gonna say. Dae: Yeah, yeah. He said that's different. I don't know. I think also, Elijah Jay: I was gonna say, definitely feel like it's situational. Chloé: Your situation. Dae: I think it's because like we like hosting. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: I'm saying me as in me and Elijah like hosting. So I actually, I actually want all of y'all, Chloé: Yeah. I hate hosting anything. I don't even wanna go. Please. Elijah Jay: Say, actually, I will put you up in the hotel. I'll tell you the best one. Dae: I actually want all of y'all to be over here. Yes. Elijah Jay: Yeah, I was gonna say Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: I like hosting. I definitely would be the one to have the room ready, all the things. But also I do Dae: Right, a little towel with the signature letters. Elijah Jay: know that I live. Chloé: Tim book two Dirt Road Dae: Phew! Elijah Jay: I like to be able to get to the mix. I don't want to be in the mix, you know? So Chloé: Okay. Elijah Jay: I am a little far so. But I also have the space, so it's like, you I don't mind. I would not mind if one of my friends wants to stay, but you do need to know that it's going to take you a minute to get to where you need to go. Chloé: Plan accordingly. Dae: Truly. Chloé: Okay, I see that. I think 'cause I just don't like hosting, I don't like people in my space. So now y'all can always come stay with me. Yeah. Yeah. Dae: Yeah, but we know this. We know this. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: We just get an Airbnb next door. So, meet y'all again. Chloé: Yeah. And I feel like when people tell you they're in your city, they kind they start expecting you to go go out with them. So then it's Dae: no! Elijah Jay: Cause that also disrupts somebody's whole routine. you know, it just, a lot goes into it. Chloé: Yeah. Dae: I think like Chloe, if I'm coming to your city, it's like I'm playing, you're on the phone when I'm booking a ticket. Chloé: Yeah, truly. Right airport. Shirley. Dae: Literally, another story time for tippy-tae. But Elijah, when I'm in your city, because it's so close to home, it just be like, boop, I'm here. Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: I'm actually outside of your job. I missed you. I missed Chloé: True literally. Elijah Jay: I Dae: you. Come out. But yeah, so I think it definitely depends. Elijah Jay: That's good. Chloé: I agree. All right. So, unfortunately, keeping it in dating relationships. what's the unpopular opinion you have about dating or relationships that might get you canceled? I have two actually. Okay. Dae: You got to... go ahead. Chloé: My first one is I do not believe you could date for potential. I actually Dae: yeah. Chloé: do not care who you are becoming. You actually need to be. I'm not gonna say to say you need to be who you're going to be is a bit of a stretch, but it'd be like, okay, he could be a good man or I could see him doing this. I don't care about none of that. Are you doing it? Are you a good man right now? And if you have those foundational skills, that baseline. Then we could g do some growth. But if you don't even have that, maybe you hoping on a wish and a prayer and I I don't believe in that. Absolutely not. Come healed, come happy, come whole. Dae: I... Elijah Jay: I think we are Dae: I... Elijah Jay: in the age range where we should be, you know, in the... Chloé: Baseline, how the baseline? Elijah Jay: Yeah, like the foundation should be there. Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: I feel like you're gonna always be in the process of becoming, because I don't think you're ever gonna be like, you know... Yeah, but Chloé: A hundred percent. Or Elijah Jay: definitely come with the, you know... I get what you're saying about potential. Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: You can't be like, well, this is where I see myself and you're still at 25%. I need you to have be, you know, yeah. Chloé: Right. Do it. Dae: Yeah, I think we kind of, we were all on the phone the other day when we kind of briefly talked about this, but like as far Elijah Jay: Mm-mm. Dae: as like dating potential, especially at our big grown ages, right? You want to be an attorney. Chloé: Hmm. Ain't took an ill said yet. Right. Yeah. It's no longer Dae: Not in law school. Don't even have the book. Go get the LSAT book. Sayuna. Chloé: I want. It could I I'm working towards is where we should be. Dae: Yes. Chloé: Or I have, or I'm doing. But it cannot just be I want. Elijah Jay: I don't know how to form the question that I want to ask because it's like So say hypothetically this person is in the becoming stages or they are in this 25, 30 % and they meet you. Should they have met someone like, how does one get to where you are or like where they are? I don't know how I'm trying to, do y'all get what I'm saying? Like. Chloé: Made me on my level. Elijah Jay: Yeah, like how did that? I don't know. Scratch this out. Until I figure out what I'm trying to ask. Dae: No, think it, no, Chloé: I feel like it's a good question. Dae: I think, yeah, that's why I'm like, I really want you to ask it. Elijah Jay: Do y'all get what I'm saying though? Like can y'all help me put it into words? don't. Dae: So, are you saying like how does someone who's at 25 to 30 % get to where we would want them? Chloé: To be? Elijah Jay: Yeah, but without because you're saying you don't you're not going to put in the work or you're not pushing them to get to that 50 75 but I know. I think I'm answering my own question and that's what's stopping me. I think that's just not your person. If they're not it, I don't know. Chloé: correct. I definitely agree. Dae: You Chloé: Truly. Dae: Yeah, like I said in a phone conversation, I can't be your motivator, especially. Chloé: Your only motivator. Cause I think you can motivate, but I can't be your only motivator. Dae: I think it definitely depends on the face of the relationship. Chloé: Mm. Yeah, in the beginning you're definitely gonna have to be able to do do it by yourself without me. For Dae: I need to see that you have something. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Chloé: sure. my second one, I don't think that the person you're dating that you have to be cool with their family. Dae: You don't have to be, but I Chloé: No. Dae: think it's definitely a preference. Me, I would love to be cool with him. Chloé: No, for sure. I will want to be, but if it don't work, it don't work. Mm. Dae: Actually, I couldn't date you though. Like, just, couldn't. Elijah Jay: Do you think it would put a strain on the relationship? Dae: Yes. But also, but Chloé: I'm a living witness. Dae: also I think for me and like where I envision like my future self, my family is so like, like y'all know this, Chloé: Yeah. Dae: when you come to my house, you don't know who's married in, who's... Chloé: Y'all, I'm in the cousin group chat. Dae: is like you just don't you don't know so Chloé: Yeah. Dae: i just think yeah no that would just cause me so much stress Chloé: It's it's a difficult thing, but I'm dating you, Dae: I think it's like... Chloé: not your mom and your daddy. I'm marrying you. Dae: I think, but you Elijah Jay: So is it that you're, Dae: are. Elijah Jay: are you purposely not trying to be? Chloé: No, I want to, for sure, please. But when it got w when it gets down to the nitty-gritty, and if your mama don't like me, she don't like me. What I'm what I'm gonna do about this? Beggar? She don't like me. She don't like me. Dae: No, not big hair. I think that's okay, but like I just, that's okay. Chloé: But definitely try. I'm an advocate for trying and all the things. But if it don't work, it don't work. That don't mean I don't love my man. Just don't like his mama or his daddy. Elijah Jay: Yeah. feel like you can also put unnecessary pressure or expectations for certain things. Dae: You saying when you do like them or don't like them? Elijah Jay: No, like when they're involved Chloé: And then people also don't talk about Dae: Listen, nevermind. What were you saying, Claudia? Chloé: When y'all when y'all break up, if y'all break up, now I didn't build this relationship with your family, your sister, your brother, your mom, cousin. I'm a believer that when I break up with you, I need to break up with your family also. And when everything you came with must go. That's hard. I built relationships with Elijah Jay: That's what I was about to say. Chloé: these people. So either I'm gonna we're gonna integrate our families and we're gonna be together forever, or we're not and and prepare for the the downfall of this relationship. Dae: All right, so we're gonna be playing a game called overrated or underrated. I'm gonna read off a list of things and y'all let me know what y'all think. All right, birthday trips, overrated or underrated. Chloé: Overwrite it with other people, underwrite it by yourself. Dae: Okay, overrated. Elijah Jay: gonna say the same thing. Dae: Marriage. I don't agree. Elijah Jay: Cover. Chloé: Overrating. Dae: let's talk. Overrated? Chloé: People don't overrated. Dae: I'm gonna that on my barbell. Chloé: I don't think enough people are willing to understand marriage is a business partnership. And you need a good business partner. And that's it that's all it is with a little bit of love mixed in there. and that's hard. Having a business is hard. Having a business partner is harder. And we have to be willing. This is a financial business. This is a family business. This is so many different businesses. And do you really love a person enough to make that commitment to one person for the rest of your life? Elijah Jay: That's good. Chloé: So I think at this time in this day and age it is a tad bit overrated. Elijah Jay: You think we should go back to arranged marriages? Chloé: No, because Tammy would not be Dae: I about to say. Chloé: a good man for me. Dae: I would have been married to a fool a long time ago and my mom Elijah Jay: Hehehehe Chloé: And I mean long ago. Dae: But I think people, and I guess maybe I'm thinking from like a biblical perspective, people don't value. Chloé: Okay, biblically it's underrated for sure. What marriage is today is overrated. Dae: I'm not understanding overrated. Chloé: Don't do it. not don't do it, but truly. Elijah Jay: Be cautious. Hesitate. Chloé: Be aware, be weary. 'Cause who are we marrying? Like you I feel like you really just never know a person. Elijah Jay: I feel like, and then the older you get, more like, you Dae: You've been reading too much. Chloé: Truly. Elijah Jay: think into so much. I already have my generational cycles that I have to break. Now we're bringing in yours. Chloé: Now I gotta think about d do you got the sickle cell trait, like Dae: Okay, this Elijah Jay: Zzzz Dae: is, okay, I think maybe we're saying the same thing. I'm saying underrated is in as people don't take it serious enough to consider all these things. Chloé: Okay, so w we're saying the same thing. Elijah Jay: okay, got you. Dae: That's why I'm like, Elijah Jay: Yeah. Dae: think it's, yeah, people are like, let's just get married Elijah Jay: Mm-hmm. Dae: and aren't thinking about like, like you said, the business, the fact that it's the fact that it's, Elijah Jay: I think we all just want the grand scheme of it. Chloé: What it takes, what it requires. Dae: people want a wedding and not a marriage. Elijah Jay: Wedding Chloé: No way. Elijah Jay: I was gonna say if you could just have the event without everything else Dae: Yeah, you can, maybe you can throw a party 365 days of the year. And nobody will Chloé: Truly. Marriage takes Dae: question it. Chloé: a lot. Dating takes a lot. So imagine what marriage takes. Dae: And I think beyond that, it's a covenant. Chloé: Hm. Dae: And so you just saying, let's just get married. But like, you're making a promise before God. And that's why I said underrated, but okay. Chloé: Yes, I agree. Elijah Jay: Yeah, so I feel like, like you said, we were all saying the same. Dae: Same thing. Going to college, overrated or underrated? Chloé: Mm-hmm. If you are not going to be a doctor, lawyer, engineer. Dae: I agree. Chloé: underrated if you going for anything else. And that's not T not shade, but go to college with the purpose. Dae: If you're going... Chloé: Go with the plan and with the purpose. Dae: You can do a hobby any day. And I was going to call out some specific majors, but let's not do that. Chloé: Me too, but I'm gonna rest in thoughts. Dae: Having a large friend group, overrated or underrated. I think it's overrated. Elijah Jay: a large friend group overriding. too much to deal with. Chloé: Mm, it's over. You can have a medium size. I don't Dae: Yeah. Chloé: think you need a small one and I don't think you need a large one. So that's overrated. Elijah Jay: Maybe just whatever season of life you're in. I feel like Chloé: Mm. Elijah Jay: if you have the capacity to have, because are you genuinely all those people friend? A good friend. Dae: No. Chloé: Mm. Hm. Truly. Dae: social media, overrated or underrated. Chloé: Underrated, go make that money. So much money should be made on social media. And we sitting there scrolling for fun. Dae: overrated. Chloé: Mm mm. Elijah Jay: I'll say underrated. Dae: I say overrated because it gives people this false sense of reality. People only, Chloé: yeah, it's not real at all. Dae: yeah, no. People only post what they want you to see. Yeah. Chloé: True. Nobody posts the bad stuff. Dae: And for that, it's overrated. Which is why people feel like people in their 20s, their 21 talking about, need a three story house. Actually you don't. Chloé: Clean your bedroom. Dae: Hehehe, still worth that well. Elijah Jay: But think that's also the beauty of it. It gives you I feel like it depends on the person and where you hold social media. This is like, why are you, you shouldn't go to, I feel like you shouldn't use social media as like a reality check. Like it should be, for me at least, social media is like a separate. I go there to get away from things. Or like, you know, Dae: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: like it's like entertainment. I use it as entertainment. So it's not like I'm looking at that as, this is what I aspire to. Yeah, like, you know, Dae: Like comparison. Elijah Jay: I'm looking at these things because it's, you know, it isn't what I have or like what I'm doing. Like I'm interested in it, not necessarily to compare what I have versus what this person has. Dae: That's good. I think for me, use social media, like you said, just to like scroll, but I think especially I see so many like teenagers or like young adults like stressed out because they don't have name brand this that they saw on social media or like other things. Elijah Jay: I say, if I went to school now, I would got tow Chloé: I bet me. Elijah Jay: out the frame. Dae: Like, Chloé: Believe Dae: y'all see these new prongs? Chloé: the helicopters. Elijah Jay: the first day of the first day of school fees Chloé: So Dae: Crazy. Elijah Jay: I thought that was eating it up in my Aeropostale shirts. Chloé: N literally. Dae: Therapy. Overrated or underrated? Underrated. Elijah Jay: underrated. Chloé: Mm-hmm. As a person who goes Elijah Jay: But hey. Chloé: weekly, I it I think it's a little overrated. It's good to have somebody who's not a part of your friend group, who's not a part of your family to talk to. It's a great resource, it's a great outlet. But the way that our community and society pushes therapy and then you go and do it for what it actually is, it's a little overrated. I think people feel like therapy is a I go to therapy, I become fixed. Therapy is self. It's self. whether you go or you don't go, you still have to do the work. you literally therapy is just you have a teacher. my therapist does nothing for me but gives me the tools. everything that I grow from or that I do is self. She just there to walk walk me through it, break down the math equation. Elijah Jay: You can go all day long and still choose not to use the Dae: Yeah. Elijah Jay: tools. Chloé: Yeah. Dae: Next one, being an only child. I can't even speak to this, but overrated or underrated. Chloé: I think it's underrated. I think not being an only child and I'm I have siblings but grew up an only child. Let me preface 'cause people be in their feelings. I think that it really teaches independence. It really teaches you how to be alone and our generation does not know how to do that. Our generation doesn't even know how to sit in silence by ourselves. Like we need background noise. We need this, we need that. Like, yeah. Elijah Jay: I feel like... I overrate it because People who are only children. have only child syndrome. It's a thing. Chloé: True. That's why I don't like the hosts. Elijah Jay: Like I do feel like you you get a self yeah like it you you are self-sufficient like you're able to do things for yourself but it like comes to a fault at sometimes like you don't really know how to like you know yeah Chloé: Be around people. Yeah. Dae: Ooh, I have a question. Elijah Jay: and you also don't know how to let people be your community as well like you don't Dae: That's Chloé: Surely. Dae: what I was gonna ask. I was gonna ask, you think being or growing up as an only child hindered the way or changed the way you see community? Chloé: Of course, because there was no community. So it's kind of like, Why do I need you if everything else was done or figured out alone? Dae: Is it, cause I mean, me and my siblings are far apart in age, but I think for me it was like, I don't even think to utilize my community because for the longest there was nobody that could be community or was it like, genuinely I don't need no- Chloé: I just feel like you this is a a a difficult topic because there are some things Dae: Okay. Chloé: I feel like you don't need anybody. Like you can figure it out, but I do understand the importance of community. Mm-hmm. Dae: Designer brands, I think I kind of just spoke on this Underrated or overrated. Chloé: Yeah, it'd be cheap, under overrated. Except that coach Elijah Jay: over it. Dae: Ready. Chloé: leather. That coach leather somet so good. Dae: I am a culture of Harley. Chloé: I'm gonna go coach over Louis Vee any day. Dae: any day of the week was. Elijah Jay: Coach and then they, whoever's on the design team has been eating lately. They've been eating. Yeah. Cause there was Chloé: Beautiful. Eating down. They came back 'cause Coach fell off a little bit. Coach Dae: I never noticed. Coach. Elijah Jay: an era where a lot of people like stopped wearing coach and they were like on MK real bad. Dae: Not me. Coach, Chloé: Yeah. Dae: do you want to see the collection? Chloé: Or not even or like Kate Spade, Tori Birch, Elijah Jay: Case Fade, Chloé: yeah. Not Tori Coach sponsoress, sponsorous, sponsorous. Dae: Coach, I never owned one of them, okay? Elijah Jay: We love a good coach. Dae: And I'm in y'all city, coach. So, Chloé: Charlie. Dae: working from home, overrated or underrated. Chloé: That's so overrated. You get bored so quick. Don't don't know where it get done. Dae: trapped in the house. Chloé: Traps. Dae: Yeah. Elijah Jay: I wanna try it once in a lifetime, Chloé: That's what they do when they put jam Dae: EZ Chloé: and then they pajamas. Dae: Now you get a team's call running around the scrambling. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Yeah, trying to find the shirt to put on. Dae: long distance relationships, overrated or underrated? Underrated. Elijah Jay: I would say underrated. Cause I don't want you out of under me. Dae: Move! Get on! Chloé: I need mine in my skin. Elijah Jay: But I feel like once you get older, I feel like once you get older, cause I would like in high school, I was somebody, I didn't want to date anyone from my school. Like I would wanted you to be to a different Dae: never did it. Elijah Jay: high school, you know? I feel like now as I'm older, If I were, it would be expensive because you know there's flights, there's planning, there's like you know. Chloé: I don't even like my man to live in a sub city. So in my skin I need us to live literally no more than ten minutes away. So I think it's it's overbreaking. Elijah Jay: We need to be able to get some. Dae: This is gonna sound so crazy. I think at this point in my life, long distance makes up for the time that I don't have. Elijah Jay: Hmm. Chloé: Mm. That's true. Dae: So when I wanna see you, I can actually plan to see you. Chloé: Yeah. Dae: And now I'm looking forward to that. Chloé: Mm. Who you looking forward to seeing? He's on his way. Elijah Jay: What does that communication look like though? Dae: I think it's like texting throughout the day, FaceTime even if it's while I'm eating my dinner, while you eat your dinner or even y'all know I'm a quality time type of person. So even if I prop my phone up, like last night me and Chloe were reading the same book. Chloé: Literally. Dae: She read the book on her end, I read the book on my end. That's it. And my heart was so full. Just do your own thing. Chloé: But is is that enough Elijah Jay: That's guys because of me Chloé: for you and your man, though? You and your partner, is that enough? Dae: Mm-hmm. Chloé: And that Elijah Jay: You Chloé: I think my my problem is I need to be like hold my hand. I need to be touched. Elijah Jay: So your love language, you're like a physical Dae: please move! Elijah Jay: touch person. Chloé: Yeah, it comes second. Like r acts of service first and then physical touch. Like I need to feel you breathe on me. Dae: I actually will slap Chloé: Ha ha ha. Dae: you if you don't back up. Chloé: Why do I? Elijah Jay: I get irritated you looking too long. Go to the other room. Dae: Not literally. And Chloé: What? Dae: then if you, and maybe I'm just telling all my business, but if you piss me off on Facebook, I'll just hang up. What? Chloé: Right. Dae: Lost connection, sorry. No, Chloé: Mm-mm. Airplane mode. Dae: literally. Being famous. Elijah Jay: put yellow if any. Chloé: That's so overrated. Cause people in your business. You could be rich and not unknown. Elijah Jay: Yeah, I'd say overrated. Solely off of the fact that, like you said, People are in your business and even when you're trying to like have those boundaries or like be private they are going to create something and make that your business so it's like you know it ain't ain't working. Chloé: And sometimes I just wanna go to Target without my bra. So like I don't know. And if I'm famous, y you know, Dae: Do you sister? Chloé: they want they wanna see you you put together. They wanna see sitting up. Sometimes they need to hang. Right. Dae: Now you on TMZ. Chloé: I'm in the shade room. Cause I just want my my Dae: wait. Chloé: boobies to breathe. Dae: Expensive weddings, overrated or underrated? Overrated. That's Chloé: I think it's underwrite it. Underwrite it. Elijah Jay: I say underrated. Dae: what me and my house. Chloé: I need that's my day. we I need the best production that the city has ever seen. We're going so crazy. Elijah Jay: We putting the baddest helpfuls on the floor. Chloé: On the flow. Elijah Jay: Literally. Dae: Y'all might know about it. Y'all might know about it. I Chloé: Ha ha ha. Dae: believe you only need three people there. Chloé: But see, my wedding is the Dae: You, him, and the pastor. The officiant. Chloé: my wedding is the is the show. We've we're gonna already be married. Our wedding is our one year anniversary. So now we're really just putting on the show. So that's why I need the the full production. Dae: I plan to eat low. I keep saying this and people keep getting, see it. Y'all see pictures of it from the courthouse? You never, Chloé: She might already be married for all we know. You never know. Truly. Elijah Jay: I was going say, way I just pop out and I'd be in another phase of my life. Chloé: Actually y'all won't see him till our baby turned five. And y'all didn't even know I had a baby. Dae: Courthouse me. Elijah Jay: yeah, I feel like, kind Dae: I just Elijah Jay: of like what Chloe said, we would probably already be married, but this is like, we just putting on, yeah. Chloé: Yeah. This is the show, yeah. This is the prediction. Dae: I think it goes back to, Elijah Jay: But it has to be grand. Chloé: The biggest. Dae: I think it just goes back to me feeling like people value weddings more than marriage. Chloé: Sister, I didn't been married to him for a year. We just want to do a little celebration. Dae: Okay. Chloé: You gonna come. You're gonna be in it. Dae: Yeah, I'll be there. My friend is sitting. As for me and my house though. Elijah Jay: But honestly, feel like weddings, honestly, it'd be for the guests. The wedding do not be for Dae: That's a down payment on something. Yeah, that's what... Elijah Jay: you. Chloé: Yeah. Elijah Jay: The only thing you get out of it really is the pictures and the videos, but it'd really be for your guests. Chloé: And the experience. You got the experience. Elijah Jay: Ain't nothing beautiful about the experience. You be stressed, pissed, Chloé: Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: drunk. Dae: And, dare I say, in this phase of my life, I've been seeing so many close friends fall out of our weddings. Chloé: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Elijah Jay: Yeah, I want all strangers in mine. Dae: Okay, so next question. Cause Chloé: Ha ha ha Dae: he just plays. Elijah Jay: you Dae: You know there's a thing where you can do that and invite a stranger COM to the website and I was gonna go to one a few weekends ago. You just pay like the seat cost. Chloé: That's dangerous. Elijah Jay: Please do it just to see how it goes. Dae: Y'all know the website that I'm talking about? It's like WeddingCrasher. Elijah Jay: I feel like that's a setup. Chloé: Mm. Dae: Yo, no it's not, wedding crasher. Elijah Jay: Because a person like me, I feel like that would be on my bucket list. Me and all my friends jumped somebody at my wedding. Dae: Yeah, that's a movie. Okay. Dating apps, overrated or underrated? Chloé: That's so overrated. People die behind that. Please don't ever do that. Dae: never Elijah Jay: overrated. We need to touch grass. Go back to the bar. Go introduce yourself. Dae: But let me tell you something, the meat don't do that. Nevermind, let me show you. They don't do that to you, Deja. The Lord. Chloé: Shut up. That Elijah Jay: Get it off your chest, come on. Chloé: the men don't do that. Dae: They don't do Elijah Jay: Well one, they're scared of you because they gotta take off they hat in public. Chloé: They should be. I want Dae: and strip Chloé: him I want Dae: search. Chloé: him to have a little fear in his heart behind the woman he's dealing with. Elijah Jay: He needs to have his social written on his shoulder. Credit score over here. Chloé: So I go look up your credit scar. Yeah. Yeah. Dae: OV Elijah Jay: I want to see that interaction actually you need to get some metal glasses and when they take the hair I just want to see how it goes like how does that play out Chloé: Yeah. Dae: Do you ask them to take the hat off or if they don't, Elijah Jay: He should automatically know. Dae: if you don't take the hat off, it's just duffel. Chloé: Not necessarily, but there are other things that I would start to look for. Like are you sitting there talking to me and you didn't you might not have necessarily ordered me a drink. What are you gonna pay for my drink? And to pay for my food? What are you doing? You just wanna have dry conversation? Dae: Boom, and that's an unpopular opinion that I had. Chloé: What? Dae: I don't want you Elijah Jay: What? Dae: because I feel like nothing is free and let's make this very clear. Elijah Jay: Mm-mm. Dae: Deja has Deja, okay? You're not leaving. And when all of this is nice gesture, that's fine. But Chloé: Why can't he just be a gentleman? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Dae: listen, I will make this very clear that when all is said and done, it was just a nice gesture. Thank Chloé: I'ma go my way, you're gonna go yours. Yeah. I agree. Dae: you. Elijah Jay: I get that. Dae: So yeah, that's why I'm like very, very hesitant. I got it. Elijah Jay: So does he have to pay for your drink and your homegirl drink? Chloé: No, I don't believe in that. Now if that's my man, yes. But if he's just there trying to flirt, you flirting with me or you flirting with her? A big one. Whatever you gonna do, make a choice. Elijah Jay: You trying to give up? Dae: Okay. You said two birds with one stone. Okay. Having children overrated or underrated. Chloé: Mm. Elijah Jay: Underrated. Dae: Overrated. Chloé: It's overrated. People don't understand what comes. It's like it's like marriage. You're signing a 360. People don't understand that these things are for life. And Elijah Jay: Truly. Chloé: you have to take everything that's gonna come with your baby, whether it be a disability, physical learning, behavior issues. I he can't see, he can't hear, you gotta buy glasses. Like there are clothes, shoes they grow like weeds. There are things Dae: Yeah Chloé: that come with having a child. Now Dae: Yeah. Chloé: Lord, you bless my womb. But the it sits overrated. Dae: Mm-hmm. If you see pig guy. Chloé: Truly. Have you wet? Elijah Jay: It also could be overrated based off of the circumstances as well. Why are you having a child? Are you trying to keep that man? Dae: Yes. Elijah Jay: You know, like... Chloé: baby, baby don't keep no man. Not a singular man will be truly. Elijah Jay: Go eggs. Dae: Not man. Chloé: But if that, Lord forbid, if that ever happens to me, he will be a single father. I will give up every parental right I have. Every single one. Dae: You know? Elijah Jay: She didn't crack a smile at all. Chloé: That's not a joke. Like every parental right that I have, I will give it up. And that will be your child. Play if you want. But that's not gonna happen to me. I'm just saying hypothetically. Dae: I've a lot of women say this, but why? But like, what's thought process behind it? Chloé: Because I feel like women and that's the problem, we're having babies, no marriage. But women have babies by these men, and the men are not held accountable. There's no responsibility. And then you have a son and you're a woman. You can't raise no man. You don't know what it takes to be a man. So now he has no daddy. Dae: unpopular opinion, right? Chloé: Now he has no father, and all you're doing is repeating the cycle. It takes a man to raise a man. So why even put why why Dae: But what I'm saying is. Chloé: put yourself in that predicament? Dae: But what I'm saying is why give up? No, no, joint custody 50-50. Okay, Chloé: No, absolutely not. Dae: no, cause I need mine. Chloé: Because if you feel like that you're going to leave me with this baby and you're gonna go dilly dally and and have your way and live your life, you you got another thing coming. Dae: But why I'm like full, like, it's okay, yeah. Chloé: She said I'm not understanding the hundred percent. I okay, I'll I'll I'll be a weekend mom every other weekend. I I could do that. Mm-hmm. I do every I could do every other weekend. Dae: Yeah. no. I asked for me. You just, you don't get to keep my child. Chloé: It depends on how he would treat me during the pregnancy also. Cause you can not be married to a man he treats you well and take care of you and y'all's baby. Sure. Dae: Yes. Chloé: But y if he do that pregnancy Okay. You just make sure you at that hospital to come pick up your child. Elijah Jay: Now. Dae: Sister, but then I have a lot of thoughts. Why not just consider adoption? Chloé: I feel like g he needs some responsibility. Let's teach you something. Elijah Jay: So this is more so about him getting his lesson, like he needs a lesson. Chloé: Yes. Dae: than the well-being of the child. That's what I feel like because then the child also lacks a mother. And so therefore that could be repeating the cycle. Chloé: We better hope grandma's around. Elijah Jay: there's things that a son needs from a mom too. Chloé: Ha ha Dae: Did you hear her? Elijah Jay: No, what's he say? Chloé: We better hope that grandma Dae: you Chloé: is around. Or the new woman that you're with or auntie, sister, I Elijah Jay: You should have thought about it before you decided to make the decision to set you free. Chloé: Yeah, you should have had some thoughts. Dae: I'm howl- Okay. Chloé: Mm-hmm. Well with all of that being said, Dae: You Chloé: I think this was a great episode. What do y'all think? Dae: I think it was a good episode. Elijah Jay: was good. Chloé: Okay, what's one thing you want people to take away from today's conversation about unpopular opinions? Dae: I think for me you just have to be, learn how to be open to your friends and all of their thought processes. Elijah Jay: You Dae: And you just never know what they might say. Elijah Jay: Yeah. Be Dae: Yes, be up in. Elijah Jay: open and... Man, take off your hats. Take off your hats. Like, that, Dae: Please don't leave it. Chloé: Please take the head off. Elijah Jay: that is gonna, that has stuck with me. That's new. Chloé: Y'all never seen a man do that? Dae: Aye, aye, aye. Chloé: Take off that hat Truly. Never never have I ever Dae: I've never seen a man, so I don't know. I don't know. Chloé: been in the presence of a man. Dae: I don't know. Chloé: I would want people to take away. I think you just need to be able to say what you're comfortable with. Your opinion is your opinion. Be who you Dae: That's good. Chloé: are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Elijah Jay: and we all have a preference and we need to normalize having preferences. Chloé: Yeah. Dae: Yes. All righty. It has been a great episode. Thank you all for tuning in to another episode of Can I Speak? We hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to like, comment, subscribe wherever you watch our podcast, Be sure to follow us all on social media at Can I Speak Media and our individual pages. Thank you. See y'all later. Elijah Jay: Bye guys.