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Never Give Up: Focus on Yourself and Ignite Your Motivation · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Doing better isn't always easy. While it is impossible to
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: do better if you don't know better, often we still
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: know better than we do.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: But the problem is you just can't bring yourself to
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  Speaker 2: change course because of all the people that it would
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: hurt for you to change, and how long will you make?
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  Speaker 3: Most people more important.
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  Speaker 2: Than your destiny.
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  Speaker 4: But the most important thing is self esteem. The people
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  Speaker 4: that we read about, the people that we admire, Elon Musks,
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  Speaker 4: Steve Jobs, the Warren Buffetts, et Cucha all have one
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  Speaker 4: thing in common. You have extremely high self esteem.
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  Speaker 5: The truth is you will never win in life by
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  Speaker 5: being someone you are not. You cannot ever live the
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  Speaker 5: life of your dreams by settling for someone else's idea
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  Speaker 5: of what you should be doing with your life. You
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  Speaker 5: will never ever be happy if you change who.
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  Speaker 6: You are to fit in with others. Until you accept
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  Speaker 6: and embrace who you are, you are destined to live
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  Speaker 6: a life at only a mere fraction of your potential.
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  Speaker 6: It is simply impossible to be genuinely happy when you
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  Speaker 6: are not genuinely yourself. You must be yourself if you
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  Speaker 6: want to experience your true purpose in life.
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  Speaker 3: Do you understand yourself and what you're trying to achieve.
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  Speaker 5: Are you in a place where you've actually started the
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  Speaker 5: process of not worrying about where your parents, or your
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  Speaker 5: friends or your spouse thinks about you.
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  Speaker 4: Eighty seven percent of everybody walks the face of the earth.
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  Speaker 7: Seven point sixty.
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  Speaker 4: Five billion people are unhappy. Don't you understand?
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  Speaker 5: Don't you get it?
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  Speaker 4: You think Elon Must wants to fit in.
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  Speaker 3: We know the answer is no.
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  Speaker 4: Right you want to fit in because you had poor role.
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  Speaker 1: Models at home.
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  Speaker 4: Most everybody in this room is a pleaser. You've been
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  Speaker 4: trained keep your head down, don't embarrass yourself, don't embarrass
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  Speaker 4: the family, don't say things that may not happen. And
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  Speaker 4: I do just the opposite. I tell you to set
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  Speaker 4: goals beyond your lifetime. I tell you to set goals
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  Speaker 4: as soon as humanly possible.
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  Speaker 8: If you want to change, don't expect your life to
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  Speaker 8: stay the same. Expect it to get harder, expected to
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  Speaker 8: actually get really, really tough, tougher than you can even imagine.
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  Speaker 8: Right now, And this is where you can move past
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  Speaker 8: the boundaries that used to hold you back, used to
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  Speaker 8: hold you by the neck. Now you can move towards
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  Speaker 8: the fulfillment that's your future. And this you see this,
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  Speaker 8: This is where you can finally feel the satisfaction of
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  Speaker 8: your work. This is when you finally get to feel
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  Speaker 8: that success. Now is the time for you to step up,
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  Speaker 8: stand out, and become the person you need to become.
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  Speaker 8: Your future is in your hands, and this is what
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  Speaker 8: sets your life up to be worth the potential that
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  Speaker 8: you deserve. Your power is and always has been, the
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  Speaker 8: thing that's going to take you towards the life that
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  Speaker 8: you have earned.
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  Speaker 7: Rule one is stand up straight with your shoulders back,
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  Speaker 7: and it's about a general attitude towards life. So hierarchies
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  Speaker 7: are very stable features of life in general, and certainly
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  Speaker 7: of human life. And wherever you have any system of values,
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  Speaker 7: you have a hierarchy, because a system of values implies
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  Speaker 7: that one thing is better than another. If you have
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  Speaker 7: a situation where one thing is better than another, then
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  Speaker 7: some people are better at doing it than others, and
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  Speaker 7: you get a hierarchy. To stand up straight with your
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  Speaker 7: shoulders back is a literal injunction but also a metaphorical injunction,
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  Speaker 7: because what you do when you stand up like that
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  Speaker 7: is you kind of expose the vulnerable surfaces of your body.
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  Speaker 7: It's an act of courage. It's an act of it's
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  Speaker 7: an act of taking on the voluntary responsibility of contending
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  Speaker 7: with hierarchical organization and uncertainty. And it's a very good
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  Speaker 7: it's a good physical manifestation of the moral courage that's
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  Speaker 7: necessary to live life properly. And it's something that leaders
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  Speaker 7: naturally embody. And that's true not only of human beings.
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  Speaker 7: By the way, it's also true of animals all the
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  Speaker 7: way down the biological chain. So the more six essful creatures,
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  Speaker 7: let's say, are also those who comport themselves in an
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  Speaker 7: upright manner. And you know, even in our common language,
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  Speaker 7: to be upright is not only something that we think
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  Speaker 7: about physically, but also morally right. To be an upright
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  Speaker 7: person is to tell the truth and to act forthrightly,
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  Speaker 7: and to do what you say you're going to do,
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  Speaker 7: and all of those things. So that's all of a piece.
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  Speaker 7: And so that's rule one. Rule two, which is treat
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  Speaker 7: yourself like you're someone responsible for helping. That's an extension
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  Speaker 7: of rule one. In some sense. The idea would be that,
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  Speaker 7: you know, people are often ashamed and embarrassed and anxious
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  Speaker 7: because of their insufficiencies and failures and the incomplete nature
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  Speaker 7: of their characters and all the things they don't know
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  Speaker 7: and all of that. And so it's useful to develop
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  Speaker 7: and practice an ethic of detached self regard. Like it's
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  Speaker 7: not narcissism, it's not self esteem, it's.
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  Speaker 3: Not grandiosity, it's none of that.
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  Speaker 7: It's just the clear realization that as other people have value,
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  Speaker 7: and as it's necessary to treat them that way if
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  Speaker 7: you want anything in your relationships whatsoever, to go right.
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  Speaker 7: So it's also necessary to develop that attitude towards yourself
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  Speaker 7: despite the knowledge you have of all your inadequacies. And
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  Speaker 7: that's a really good thing to practice because it requires
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  Speaker 7: practice both the detachment and then that ethic of care.
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  Speaker 7: So and then rule seven, which is do what is
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  Speaker 7: meaningful rather than what is expedient. That speaks to at
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  Speaker 7: what level of analysis you should be operating When you're
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  Speaker 7: deciding how to act, you want to act in accordance
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  Speaker 7: with your highest values. Now that means you have to
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  Speaker 7: figure out what those value are. If you act in
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  Speaker 7: accordance with your highest values, sometimes that makes your day
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  Speaker 7: to day operations difficult because you have to confront unpleasant truths.
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  Speaker 7: You have to discuss things that you'd rather avoid. It
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  Speaker 7: would be easier to act to decrease conflict in the moment,
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  Speaker 7: but it's a very bad medium to long term strategy.
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  Speaker 7: You have to engage in a certain amount of conflict
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  Speaker 7: moment to moment if you're going to say and do
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  Speaker 7: the things that are necessary in order to set things
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  Speaker 7: right in the medium to long term and for an
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  Speaker 7: increasingly large number of people. And that's also another guide
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  Speaker 7: to leadership.
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  Speaker 9: I would say nobody's journey is seamless or smooth.
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  Speaker 3: We all stumble, we all have setbacks.
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  Speaker 9: If things go wrong, you hit a dead end, as
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  Speaker 9: you will. It's just life's way of saying time to
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  Speaker 9: change course.
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  Speaker 3: So ask every failure.
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  Speaker 9: This is what I do, every failure, every crisis, every
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  Speaker 9: difficult time.
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  Speaker 3: I say, what is this here to teach me? And
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  Speaker 3: as soon as you get the lesson, you get to
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  Speaker 3: move on.
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  Speaker 9: If you really get the lesson, you pass and you
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  Speaker 9: don't have to repeat the class. If you don't get
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  Speaker 9: the lesson, it shows up wearing another pair of pants
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  Speaker 9: or skirt.
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  Speaker 3: To give you some remedial work.
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  Speaker 9: And what I found is that difficulties come when you
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  Speaker 9: don't pay attention to life's whisper, because life always whispers
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  Speaker 9: to you first, and if you ignore the whispers, sooner
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  Speaker 9: or later you'll get a scream. Whatever you resist persists.
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  Speaker 9: But if you ask the right question, not why is
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  Speaker 9: this happening? But what is this here to teach me?
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  Speaker 9: What is this here to teach me? It puts you
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  Speaker 9: in the place and space to get the lesson you need.
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  Speaker 9: My friend At Cartole, who's written this wonderful book called
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  Speaker 9: a New Earth, it's all about letting the awareness of
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  Speaker 9: who you are stimulate everything that you do.
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  Speaker 3: He puts it like this.
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  Speaker 9: He says, don't react against a bad situation, merge with
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  Speaker 9: that situation instead, and the solution will arise from the challenge.
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  Speaker 9: Because surrendering yourself doesn't mean giving up, It means acting
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  Speaker 9: with responsibility. Okay, many of you know that, as President
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  Speaker 9: Hennessy said, I started this school in Africa, and I
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  Speaker 9: founded the school where I'm trying to give South African
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  Speaker 9: girls a shot at a future like yours. Stanford and
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  Speaker 9: I spent five years making sure that school would be
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  Speaker 9: as beautiful as the students. I wanted every girl to
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  Speaker 9: feel her worth reflected in her surroundings, so I checked
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  Speaker 9: every blueprint. I picked every pillow, I was looking at
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  Speaker 9: the groud in between the bricks. I knew every thread
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  Speaker 9: pound of the sheets. I chose every girl from the villages,
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  Speaker 9: from nine provinces, and yet last fall I was faced
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  Speaker 9: with a crisis I'd never anticipated.
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  Speaker 3: I was told that one of the dorm matrons was
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  Speaker 3: suspected of sexual abuse. Well, that was, as.
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  Speaker 9: You can imagine, devastating news. First, I cried, Actually, I
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  Speaker 9: sobbed for about a half an hour, and then I said,
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  Speaker 9: let's get to it. That's all you get is a
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  Speaker 9: half an hour. You need to focus on the now.
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  Speaker 9: What you need to do now. So I contacted a
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  Speaker 9: child trauma specialist. I put together a team of investigators.
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  Speaker 9: I made sure the girls had counseling and support, and
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  Speaker 9: Gale and I got on a.
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  Speaker 3: Plane and flew to South Africa.
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  Speaker 9: And the whole time I kept asking that question, what
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  Speaker 9: is this here to teach me?
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  Speaker 3: And as difficult as that.
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  Speaker 9: Experience has been, I got a lot of lessons. I
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  Speaker 9: understand now the mistakes I made because I had been
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  Speaker 9: paying attention to all of the wrong things. I built
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  Speaker 9: that school from the outside in, when what really mattered
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  Speaker 9: was the inside out. So it's a lesson that applies
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  Speaker 9: to all of our lives as a whole. What matters
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  Speaker 9: most is what's inside. What matters most is the sense
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  Speaker 9: of integrity, of quality and beauty.
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  Speaker 3: I got that lesson, and.
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  Speaker 9: What I know is is that the girls came away
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  Speaker 9: with something too. They've emerged from this more resilient and
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  Speaker 9: knowing that their voices have power.