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Stoic Object Deconstruction to Reduce Cravings and Attachments · The Stoic Handbook with Jon Brooks

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: The Stoics saw our attachment to possessions as following this simple logic.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: If something makes us feel good or benefits us in some way, we put that thing on a pedestal.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: When we put things on pedestals, it's quite natural to become attached.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when we are attached, our emotional well being becomes linked to something beyond ourselves.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: As a result, we suffer due to our fear of losing that thing or suffer from actually losing that thing.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: We very often delude ourselves about the true value of things and thus waste time and energy on dead end pursuits.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: To free ourselves from this deluded attachment and ultimately suffering, we can practice clear seeing of our attachments and our relationship to them.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: This will break the spell and liberate us.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: To practice we train the mind gradually.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: We start with small things, and we work our way up to the things we care most about in life.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: The technique can be summarized as follows We break down the object of our attachment into simple elemental parts, free of pedestal and positive framing.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you some examples of this type of object deconstruction so you can better do it on your own attachments.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Coffee.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: The attached mind might think something along the lines of flat whites are heavenly.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: Expertly crafted steamed milk poured over two shots of the finest beans and finished with delicate rosetta art.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: If a stoic recognized this attachment in themselves, they might break the object down and instead describe it as follows I am fond of a drink consisting of water, milk, and caffeinated beans.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Sex an attached, lustful mind might say something like this person is divinity.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: They are so beautiful and exquisite.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: If I could just have them, my life would be complete in every way.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: A stoic mind might recognize this attachment and say, I am fond of fantasizing about rubbing my body against another person's body.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: If someone is attached to their house, they might think of it like I love my home.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The theme in each room is unique and the decoration is jaw-dropping, right?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: So there's this pedestal going on.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: A stoic might reframe this as, I am fond of a concrete building filled with different materials, but mostly consisting of empty space.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: You can have a lot of fun and be as creative as you like when you do this kind of object deconstruction.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's take a moment now to practice and try to enjoy this process.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is a really powerful technique, but it doesn't need to be a chore.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: So bring to mind something for which you feel attached.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And attachments can come in many forms, habits, people, items, ideas, experiences, possessions, anything that provides craving or desire.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now ask yourself, what would someone who is very attached to this describe it as?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Someone more attached than you?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: What would they describe it as And now go the other way.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: What is this thing made of?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: What are the basic elements?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Describe it in plain language, deconstruct it all.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Who wouldn't be attached to this thing that you are attached to?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: If so, try and get in their head.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine what they are perceiving and experiencing when they are looking at this thing you are attached to.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: What are they seeing that you aren't?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: How would they write about it in their textbooks?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: They're not even human.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: These types of questions you can ask yourself whenever you feel attached or a sense of craving about something.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can revisit this guided stoic meditation.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Both are absolutely fine.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And remember that the point of this exercise is to see that our view of things, especially when we are attached, isn't completely objective and factual.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's just to keep remembering that.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And as a practicing stoic, it is okay to enjoy life to the fullest extent possible, of course, but the goal is to not get so swept away in our strong emotions and passions that we lose touch with reality.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: When we watch a movie, for example, we can be both lost in the story, enjoying it fully, but also able to realize in any given moment that it is fiction and that there is a limit to how much we should reasonably be swept up in it.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: We might cry even at the end of the movie, but we probably won't let the movie negatively impact our life for months afterward.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: That would feel like too extreme, like it doesn't make sense.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's going too far.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And life has this similar kind of quality too.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: We are projecting onto life our own movie, our own storyline that isn't completely accurate.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's okay to indulge in joy and luxury and the spectrum of emotions, providing we don't lose touch of the true nature of what is going on.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we stay in touch with the true nature of what's going on?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: We check in with ourselves with exercises like this, with reason and rational thinking, and tranquility and calmness.