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Panic at the Festival · Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

• We can't be doing hard drugs just yet. We got to do it at the festival. These donuts are fantastic. Tannhuzzer says, eating rice balls. Gnomes of souls? No, no. Absolutely not. Are we eating a war criminal or an innocent little guy? Black-winged, rot-stained dragon flies over him. That's a big health bar. Does anybody else hear Dark Souls music? Ah! Let's give it a way to play some rock grinds. Are you ready now, Thurston? Yeah. I'm always born ready. Okay. I thought you were born Thurston. I was doing the recap. I did it last time. Not I. Not I. Oda's right. Ooh, it's hulky. Oh, I'm still putting pants on. Why do you pants for rock grinds? Why can't you fucking multitask? Because I have 80 feet at once. I do everything sort of. Nothing conclusively good at the same point in time. I get by. Real as fuck. Damn. Damn. All of my success has been a fluke, okay? No! It's his emergency pants. His ass broke the other ones. So here's the thing. Oh, no! So before... All right. Come into my office, hulky. Okay. I'll come into your office. I'll tell you. This is a workplace conversation. Fucking principles across the desk. All right. Okay. Tell me what happened, son. Do you want me to tell you what happened to the story? What happened tonight? Start from the beginning. Well. What? What happened in the story? Or tonight's story? Well... Okay, fine. Start with the out of game, and then we'll go to the in-game, and we'll convert over. It'll be a seamless transition from our pre-show bullshit into the episode, right? Right? Right? Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. That'll work. That'll work. Yeah. I can just point you twice over. Seamless. Seamless. Seamless. Well, the root of the problem was that there were seams to be mentioned. So, before stream tonight, I, in true hulky fashion, decided to make myself a delicious meal. That meal was some burgers, made some smash burgers. They were very good. But I'm like, oh, you only have like an hour and a half before stream. I can go to the gym. I can go get shit done. Thinking, yeah, I've diffed eating an entire meal and working out before. So, I went. And that was fine. I didn't have any issue with that. That's not the root of the problem. So, I go there. And I get about a quarter into my set after doing cardio. I'm like, feeling real itchy. Uh-oh. Come to realize I'm having a full body reaction to something. And I don't know why. Don't, you can't ask me why that is, because I still don't know. But I get my shit on. I'm like, okay, you know what? I'm just going to go home. I'm just going to go home. I'm going to clean myself off. Clearly, it's something in the air. I'm dying of some capacity. And I'm leaving the gym. And I'm so close. To the exit. When I'm stopped very abruptly. Not just in place, but arrested by a very specific tearing of synthetic fabric. Oh, no. As one of the pockets on my leg, because it's one of those ones that zips up so you can store something at your hip. Snagged on a machine on the way out. And I damn near ripped basically a foot wide gash in my pant leg. So my whole ass thigh is exposed. The prophecy. Not the thigh slit. And then I came home. I tried to forget about what happened. I couldn't forget. And now we're here and I'm baring my chest and my ass to you. There's been much like Oren bared his whole ass to his people in the Fajal Mountains. Yes! Yes! Oh, man! Yeah! That's why Hulkie's the go! That's why he's the go! Easy, keep that in the intro. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Rock Rock! Welcome back! If anything in the world of our show has ever deserved me fucking ticking down the pity point and just giving a hero. Ruhua, give yourself a hero point. Zoran, take me down a pity point. Sure thing. Yeah. Yeah. I'm complicated in real life. It's fine. Yes, sure. You do. Well, welcome, everybody, to another exciting episode of Rock Round. You can always support us at NarrativeDeclaration.com. And everyone would say, good job on the website, Vodo. Good job. Good job. Good job. Yay! Thank you! And over there, you can find all the information about our shows, what we do, stuff like that, and also how you can help us keep the lights on because you guys showing up, saying hi, always fills our hearts in a course listing either you're at home, in the gym, ripping your pants, or skydiving down the earth. We appreciate you listening to our show. And with that, I think last time on Narrative Declarations, Rock Grind. So, Hulgi has to be screwed in more. What happened last time, Hulgi? Yeah, Hulgi. Keep going. We started off last session still making our way back to Oren's home in the Jaw Mountains, and the name of it, though fist-shaped, finger-shaped, escapes me because I didn't take notes of the actual name this time. But on the way that you... Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Zoran put all this, all this, like, work into creating a narrative, and you're just so casually dismissive of it? Well, no, I'm declaring that I didn't take notes of the narrative. Oh! That's completely different. That's completely different. Yeah, yeah, it sounds like an excuse. Hey, how about you shut the fuck up? You put all this work into naming this, and you put me on the spot. I rep my pants for you. Yeah, thanks for the content. Is it Berg or Berg? And then it's like, oh, there's an H in there, too. Don't worry, Zorn went all out on the naming conventions for this. Fuck yeah. Yeah, just so you can make fun of what we called it. We called it fist-reach, because apparently I'm naive. Oh, yes, fist-reach! Hehehehe chuckled. Everybody is 12 years old. That's right. Although beforehand, we did end up having a few heart-to-hearts on the airship leading into that, fighting in Orrin and each other of the dire stakes that were to be met once we arrive. How were they prepared? Sorry, I'm 12. How were they prepared? Yeah, the dire stakes. A dire state. Well done. Overdone, in fact. We had a little bit of Yaoi. Anhauser went to the future and the past. I didn't do that. We were almost killed. That does happen in Yaoi. We were almost killed by the native folk Oren's home in Fistreach when it was revealed that everything is okay, in fact. But they all sound like Oren. Oren, in fact, is part and parcel one of the many people who live there and they all talk like him. It was beautiful. We also ended up meeting Zoran's character, Oren's father. A terrifying cyclopean, not cyclops, giant of a man who loves his son very, very much because Oren ran away from home and they were all worried sick that he wouldn't come back. It was also revealed that Oren's mother had gone missing and has been missing for quite some time and no one had really attempted to locate her. But there was also some festival to be had here in Fistreach, one which Oren was to be a part of and the rest of the party ostensibly should not be a part of for well, let's just say most of the party would not taste well. And that is more or less left off, omitting a few details here and there. and there's stuff about a festival. There was a festival to be had into. Yeah. Opening track for this will be the theme when you open Hearthstone. You all enjoy some rest in the settlement Fistome. As you do, you are all restored. Heal back to to full. Able to re-prepare any spells that you may have. As you as you have this rest, each of you is given your own dwelling in some of the wooden structures here. Baldrick begins to drink whiskey. Relatable. Good luck with your whiskey, Mr. Baldrick. Guys, he's drinking a lot of whiskey. I'm gonna drink whiskey. Don't do anything stupid. Who the hell is that guy? Yeah, you sound different. Budget Baldrick. Well, hold on. I think that's Baldrick. He's got a cone head in everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was a cone, right? Yeah, it was. Why did I think it was a square? That's weird. No, it's always been a triangle. Yeah. He's saying it's iconic Baldrick line. Drink whiskey. That's what he said. Yeah, yeah. That's true. This doesn't feel right, but my eyes cannot deceive. Well, it has to, and then it is. You know what, Tannhauser, it's like I always say, more eyes, more problems. Your two eyes are misleading you. You should get just one. Poke out your other eye. You've never said that. Yes, I have. I said it in episode five. I don't have any eyes. Then what's behind the glass? Just nothing? Technology. Well, I'm not going to unscrew it and let you check. I want to see. I get closer to your eye. Glass staring you back. What's in here? Tink, tink, tink. Ah, ah, oh my God. And now it's all dirty and filthy. It's like Vaseline now. So you can see. Behold an eyeball. I didn't say that I couldn't see. I just said that I didn't have eyes. Well, how can you see? I'm not seeing blind, are you like blind, man? Whoa. No, I just said that I'm not blind. Whoa. Whoa. Because like your eyes, they look kind of weird, man. one of the masked figures has come out to your gaggle outside. Whoa. Whoa. Yes, it's very impressive. I, I'm, I was rebuilt with cybernetic technology from outset, but I can still see. I just don't have eyeballs. How many fingers am I holding up? I'm going to hold out two. Two. Whoa. I like you guys. You guys are really easy to impress out here. Yeah, like yesterday you talked about how you really liked us, how this was like the favorite settlement you've ever been to. It is. This is really great. Honestly, you dare you. are you planning on making me eat my words? No, we don't eat that around here. What do you eat? Like berries and protein. Oh, because you kind of laugh. You made, you went like, ha ha ha. Like you, like it was, like it was something going on there. Nah, it's going to be the festival soon though. The festival. You're ready for it. Yeah, what sort of, what sort of things are there to do at the festival, Orin and our new friend? Orin turns around. Yeah, which one is it? I lost track of time. Yeah, my name's Newfriend, so thank you. Yeah. Of course, Newfriend. Yes, it was good to meet you, Newfriend. Yeah. What a convenient name. Deeply. Yeah. So anyway. Want some brick? What? You want brick? Fuck, I forgot about that. You managed to hold on to that this whole time? Of course. I don't get high on my own supply. Huh. Man, I haven't had brick in a while. Look, we can't be taking drugs yet. No, not bricky cameo everybody. You smoking a brick and bricky. The narcotic formerly known as bricky. We can't be doing like hard drugs just yet. We got to do it at the festival. Oh, okay. You don't like pre-festival Orin? One more time, I'm sorry. You don't like pre-festival Orin? Sorry, my brain short-circuited. Pre-gaming. Is he asking you pre-game? Yeah. Hey, I lived in the woods and I never party. So, terminologies is not this for me. That's okay, man. Orin is like the best of us, you know? Aw. Yeah, I bet he is. He's pretty cool. I like him. Yeah. Yeah. I like Orin. His teeth were like razors. Yeah. Bah. Then he just turns and walks away at that. Oh, okay. Why are they talking about your teeth? See you at the festival. I mean, I guess they're sharp when you're a bear. I'm the best buyer in the village. I actually haven't. That's awesome. Are your teeth just normally sharp? Oh, yeah. Look. What the hell's wrong with you? Everything. Let's go. Happens. Good delivery on that. I like that. Begin to head towards the festival area. And we're running security for the festival, right? You are to participate in the festival. I believe you said you were going to provide security to ensure the festival happens. Okay. Yes. All right. Because then we're going to go find his mom. But, you know, as you approach, a child approaches holding wreaths of flowers to put around you. Like, whoa, don't stop. You have a flower. Here, put your head down. Let me put these flowers on you. Oh, yeah, sure. Of course. Wow. You look so pretty. She says to her That is naturally. You know what they all say. That's true. Yeah. Play it. Play it. Play it. Play it. Play it. Play it. Everyone wants to fuck what they all say. I played it. What a beautiful bouquet of flowers. How lovely. Thank you. If you keep eating your people, you'll grow up to be just as pretty as me someday. Oh, that's so nice. Hey. Is there enough room inside to put someone inside you? Yes, technically. They have to be pet cash sized, though. They have to be small enough. I'm not putting you in a pocket dimension, if that's what you're asking. No, no. It's just sometimes she looks at you and like sometimes, you know, it's not this festival, but when we make the wicker man. Please don't burn me. we make the wicker man. We put a person inside and his screams sound like music with the fire. I don't like it. Yeah. It's so beautiful at night. It's like there's a melody for your eyes and your ears. The flash keeps the straw burning forever. What does it do? Why? Why do you do that, though? Is there like a greater purpose? Do you is it like to invoke some sort of shame? You're funny. She skips off. Based. I don't know how to tell you this. That's kind of fucked up, man. What? You don't like her execution of our worst enemies to support our war efforts and hunting grounds? No. We usually do that to the most heinous criminals. That kind of sounds like what the Tyrant Guild does with extra steps and more weed. Yeah, but we're justified. Understandable. That's like the Tyrant Guild with extra steps and more weed. It's art. Perfect line. Amazing. Here's the thing. You guys burn people alive in a wicker, man? Yeah. That's fucking badass. Pretty dope, huh? This place rocks. Yeah, I feel like at your home and mine, Tanny, they just burn people the regular way, which, you know, it gets old after a few times. I think, yeah, it's like eventually, well, we don't have wood back home, so it's a big constraint, but, yeah, no, like, going to a volcano? No, we just rip them apart and put their heads on pikes. You know, more often you get, you know, the whole impale and you line the whole road up and, oh, oh, oh, oh, another Marvid appears behind, uh, Tannhauser as he's speaking. Mm-hmm. Why do you mean you don't have wood? No, we don't have wood. I'm from a desert. His face mask is less of a mask and more of, like, the near stump of a tree that's been hollowed out and placed over his head. What's it like not having wood? Terrible. We can't build with sand. I mean, you can, but it's much more limited. It must be liberating, right? Not having wood. Do you feel encumbered by the amount of wood around you? my flesh presses up against this wood eternally. I am trapped within this tree stump. Do you want me to take it off of your head? It cannot come off. I will die. Oh. Why would you die? Because it's all that's holding me together. Are you excited for the festival? I love it here. Yeah, I mean, I am. I hear some crazy things. So the wood is all that's holding your face together. Is that right? That is right. Well, you know, there are other materials you can rebuild your broken body out of. Like what? Like metal. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We are not, we're not about that. You can't say the M word here. What are you talking about? I'm made out of metal. I don't know what that to say. It's shiny wood. It's not, but I've just, I've just established that there's no wood where I come from. Tannhauser, shut the fuck up, dude. You can fucking die. What the hell? Why is everyone, he can hear you. Everyone is staring at you. Or who just goes behind Tannhauser and just grabs his mouth. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, they're gonna fuck it with me too. And that wood. Yeah, wood. He's made out of my wood. Isn't that cool, Tannhauser? Isn't it cool being made out of my wood that you're clearly made out of? Y'all got us not plan things like this about each other. I love being made out of, out of Ruhua's wood. I'd like to make a deception test. You know, maybe, maybe it's Besterndale did go take that nap. How might be it? So how'd it go? Well, our first check of the night was, uh, Ruhua. That's a 19 on the die for 34. Oh my God. That's impressive. Shiny wood, shiny wood, shiny wood. Yep. Yep. Shiny wood. Sure. Can I have some of your shiny wood? Absolutely not. Hmm. No. Maybe if you are a good tree this year, maybe I'll bring some for you on the eve of a solstice. Okay. And he like runs off maybe 20 feet away and then stands rigidly still. Oh, surely this won't have lasting repercussions for this person. Is that what he's supposed is that where he's supposed to be? What he's supposed to be doing? I don't know. I'm not a tree. Why did you lie to him? What was the purpose of that? Because they'll eat you or kill you or kill you then eat you or maybe the opposite and eat you and kill you. I don't think he'd be very tasty. He wouldn't be very tasty, but they would still try. That might be true. If these people are anything like her who are, I mean, not your, fuck. It's all done. It's all over. What do you mean like me? I mean, you're not like you, like Oren. That's what I made to say. What's wrong when I said you? There's nothing wrong with Oren. Yeah. How do you react about this judgment to your character? I cry. Oh, look, now he's crying. Oren turns to his fellow Marvin and goes like, so what other preparations are needed for the festival? Everything's been prepared. Yeah. You should like, you should go and show your friends. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, guys. All right. I guess we're going to go check out the festival. Tell them about the festival. Yeah, man. Tell them about the festival. What goes on at your festival, man? Which one? The one we're prepared for. He's getting gaslighted so there is no festival. Berg's feast. Berg's feasts, Oren. Look. What happens at Berg's feast, Oren? here's here's what I told you to prepare this so you can reveal things. So that's why I'm relying on you. You're the game master. You do. Look, I'm just trying to give you a moment for character growth and really embracing your narrative. your bit. This is I can't do anything with this one. This is yours. I don't know what you're trying to do. I literally can't do anything with this ball. It will melt in my hands. I give it back. Okay. Is that ball also made over who was what? No. This is where I turn to speaker. Speaker, tell me what the festival here is like and I regret it immediately. All right, dude. No, no, no. Is so beautiful. In the festival, there are, ooh, I could choose. I could really fuck this. I could say there's just statues of Tanhauser everywhere. I said, we just met you, but we love your vibe. What if, what if, would Zord the wizard begrudge me if the festival is all about Tanhauser for no reason? Yeah. For no reason. All those narrative decorations of this fallen pamphlets have actually reached here. I mean, he got there at a decoration. Yeah. You could do it. I gotta say. Just take his lore from him. Go ahead. It would be funny to tell Erndil that the session he was gone, it turned out the festival. It's all about Baldrick. All about Baldrick? I mean, at the very least, it could be one of those farmer's market booths where they sell the cute little plush toys, except it's like a fan made creation of their new favorite piece of literature that fell from the sky and hit them in the head. Oh, that would be good. Buy some fan art. No, wait, but this is older than last week, this festival tradition. This is like at least we're prepared for the renewal festival. It's where we all kind of gather around and share food and merriment to basically kind of, you know, renew, like basically keep up the force that's around us to help maintain the growing of trees and the growing of crops and making sure the water is clear to give us all that power enough so we can, we can help protect this land. It's really important festival. That makes a lot more sense than what Tannhauser was talking about. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck he was on. Well, you see, I was just looking at that statue and I'm going to spend a hero point. Stop! It's like, I'm hijacking your shit. I wanted to be like the raising of the American flag in Hiroshima but it's raptors but you're at the head with them. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Weird. It's exactly like that, yeah. It's just a monument to the first civilization and it's all the dinosaurs. You got it. Yeah, you got it. Tannhauser surrounded by dinosaurs statues. That one looks kind of cool. I'm not spending my marriage a declaration. Guys, so the festival, guys, you know, as you come in, it's by the large main building where you saw, you know, there's a cooking fire pit, there's tables set up with food, there's a little archery range here, there's a lot of food, a lot of different food, a little training ground. Look, it's very quaint and happy. Wow. Wow. Wow. Well. Well. I have a bad feeling like something is about to attack and ruin the festival. Tanhauser, don't be, don't be stupid. I'm sorry. I'm just always saying fucked up shit. I know. Why would you say that, man? You gotta say you're sorry. Man, this robot's tweaking. It's okay, Tanhauser, we forgive you. Thank you. Please don't hurt me. Not yet. It's okay. shy away from Rahua just like lunges towards him just a little bit like, uh, uh, uh, uh, yeah. Just like, just like, uh, punk ass bitch. I'm like gonna wave my hand a little bit, that same energy that set you back in time. Ooh, ooh. That's what I thought. I'm a, you know, I'm a time wizard. It's weird that you keep sending me back in time because I am a Whoa. You're a wizard. Yes, I am a wizard. I thought you were a sorcerer. What? No, you didn't. I thought you were a warlock. I'm gonna kill you all. Now you only have to do that to one of them. Huh? Oh, can you reapply like ruin the tokens and put it back on so the things can work? Oh, oh, don't, don't, don't worry about it. Okay. I'm on top of it. Continue on. He's like, yeah. He's like, you guys did a really good job with the festival this year. It's like, there seems to be a lot more food than normal. Well, you don't want to eat too much. Yeah. Come on, guys. Orin will hop over here. The one on the tables and like, he'll fix a plate for someone. It'll basically be like, like some beets and vegetables and stuff. And he'll go like, eat as much as you want. He'll hand some over there. There's like this meat pie. All in my boy, you and your friends eat all to your fill. Okay, dad. Here's a strawberry cake. Oh, thank you. All right. This is, this is lovely. Hey, Mr. Tanhauser. I guess we're starting with dessert. On my way back to the room, I asked one of other kind of accommodate for your needs. He hands you an oil can, like, you know, that's like, from the Wizard of Oz. Just to like, you get it. So you make every onomatopoeia and sound effect known to man. That's really thoughtful, but I do eat food. Oh. Yeah, you've seen me eat. I make the prozole. Itagakimasu. Is he speaking weird things, Mr. Ruhua? I'm going to put another one of my languages as Japanese. Are you using your narrative declaration to invent Japanese? No, I'm not. This is not my narrative declaration. This is the other agreement I have with Thurston. We got Jesus. We got Ireland. I've got Brissy. I've got one more language slot, unallocated language slot. I know, and let's have a quick review. Tanhauser can speak. Common. Also known as Taldin. Aklo. Androfen. Fae. Dinosaur. And Japanese. I hate you. He's having a very Japanese time in his life. Jokes on you. Dinosaur and Japanese are the same on this planet. Oh, great. Oh, in that case, I'll keep my two. No, no, no. You said it. No, no, no. It's like how Common is also known as Taldin. Dinosaur is also known as Japanese. No, no, no. You know what? You're right. It just makes sense. It just works. It's actually Common on this world is Japanese. We've been speaking in Japanese the whole time. When we finally get an anime of this show, they won't even have to dub this shit. We're going to be fine. And Tannhauser will be voiced by Daisuke Ishiwatari. Everyone will be. It's already done. Daisuke Ishiwatari isn't a fucking voice actor. What am I saying? I mean, Daisuke is not going to be one. Except Crotch, who will be voiced by Matt Mercer, the only English voice actor who can do that. And it'll be the southern drawl for some reason. Yeah, he'll just be in the drifter voice. I don't know why you're saying some weird stuff with him, Mr. Tannhauser, but come, come and take the deal. Thank you. Yes, these donuts are fantastic, Tannhauser says, eating rice balls. Come eat dumplings. We have mugs. Come fill your mug. Yeah, mug. I'm a mug-a-maniac. All right. Tannhauser, give me fortitude safe. I deserve this. That's good. Have no guilt or fear for me if I fail. All right, let's see. All right, that is going to be a solid 28. You managed to hold down the food here. It's tasty. It's good. Fina, give me a fortitude safe. Oh, I'd love to. I'll give you a 27. Cool. Cool. Cool. Very good. Very, very, very, very, very strong showing you're also enjoying the food here. Rahua, can you give me a fortitude safe? Can I investigate? No. No, that's not a skill. That's not a fortitude safe that I just asked you to make. What if I retroactively asked? Oh, that's a two. That's a 24. Oh, cool. The food's really good. I'm going to mark something down. Thanks. Thanks. Can I hear a point? What does that mean? Yeah, you can absolutely hear a point that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. Oh, it's a 20. There you go. Yeah. You eat it so much, you totally understand that there's nothing wrong with this food. It's just like you're kind of seeing things like everyone around you like is just so on edge about it. Like they're just kind of making up things in their own heads. Oh, okay. Interesting. Yeah. Don't be weird about it. A little weird. Do you like the food? Yeah, that's it's pretty good. I don't really eat anything. What's your favorite part about the food? Well, I really like the fact that it's food and I can definitely taste it, which is weird because I don't have that organ. You're funny. Come to the crock pot. Okay. Before everyone goes to the crock pot. Uh-huh. Or it will be he's kind of like wiggling his little little bird feet and like kind of happy. He's like, I want to say sorry for I guess rushing us over here so quickly. I guess everything's fine here. That's all right. Yeah. You're worried about your family. Yeah. Which is natural. We still need to, you know, we're still going to have a bunch of stuff we need to do. Best to, you know, celebrate a little bit in the meantime. Yeah. At least we'll get a break from everything. I mean, we've been, it's been a lot really, especially like you and your mom, your family and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and you basically, you know, full on blowing up a building and revolution stuff. Yeah, that was, that was pretty crazy. I've pretty much been resigned to die like every day for the past year. Well, you haven't made my peace with that. I know, it's been really surprising. It's really bad. I agree. It's a pleasant surprise. I think I've only died once actually in all of our adventures, which is, isn't that nice? Yes. You know, but I'm sure it's only luck. Has Tannelser died? I don't think he's dying in Rock Rain. I don't think he's died. No, I died only when everyone else died when we fell from that great height. Oh yeah, that was the only time. Yeah, that was the only time. But I guess none of us realized that we died. Scripted. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you're right, things have been crazy. A bitch needs some cheese. All right, bring out the guests. And like several people come from outside of the structure. They're just some like, they're just some random folk. Oh no. It's all the same. Oh no. No, the tokens aren't set up right now. I fucked that up then. Who is this anime girl? Yeah. Never mind. An anime girl comes out. Oh my God. Alexis the Rose Queen. She goes to get a drink. Does she also speak dinosaur? Yeah, can we make a connection here? So it's so it's funny you say that one of the other ones that would come out. By the way, these are some of our patrons thank for their their background characters. See, one of the other ones would be Xeno Cruz who would show up. Yay. Hell yeah. Well, remember who can speak Japanese? Thank you. That's what it's all about. Beautiful. Beautiful. All right, come to the crockpot. Oh shit. All right, with an armful of cheese, I'm going to come over to the pot. Let's check out this pot. Yeah. I love pot. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a joke. I just I like I like pots. Okay. That's my new thing. They're all staring into the pot that's like bubbling with like brown and like yellow brothy liquids with some pieces of protein floating about. looks. Hmm. That looks delicious. Good stoop. Yeah, good soup. Well, we haven't have we tasted it or we are we like sticking our hands on like fucking everyone is like surrounding it. Just looking at it's like it's like the it's like the alley from King of the Hill. Yeah. Yep. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. That's good looking soup dad. Don't need the best. Can I do some kind of check to determine the ingredients of this soup? Yeah, sure. You're all so paranoid. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of check do you want to make to see if the soup is really soup? Well, I think it's I think it's objectively soup. It is soup. That's a certainty. Mm hmm. Oh, I don't know. Crafting? Crafting? Yeah. I think it's a craft. Crafting? Crafting? Crafting? Yeah. Yeah. Give me crafting. Okay. All right. All right. Yeah. You being forthcoming with what I mean. That's a nat 20. Okay. What is in the soup, Thurston? Oh, my God. Hearty broth. Some local protein. It seems to be animal based. There's fine herbs that have been added into it. nothing out of the ordinary at all. When you say local animal, are we talking about venison? Are we talking about lawn pig? I don't know. Give me a nature chick to follow that off. Sure. Why not? Very valid question. Well, between you, me, and Napoleon, I think I want to know what kind of wildlife's around here. It's going to be like fucking chicken. Oh, I saw that six. 35. Oh, it's no meat. Oh, okay. That's a clean burning gnome, I'll tell you what. A what? Only the best. Yes. My favorite. Orrin gets a bowl and starts eating. Oh. Oh. Delicious red cap gnome stool. Oh, red cap. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, now it's morally okay. Red caps are fucking assholes. They are. They are. They should all be killed and eaten. It's like, are we eating a war criminal or an innocent little guy, you know? I mean, if you look, I don't fucking care. I don't know what Tynes red caps are like, but chances are this is not even slightly morally bad. one sec. It's probably fine. Chat's calling me out on something and they're totally right. One sec. You could probably, if you were like hungry. There we go. There we go. Oh, there we go. Yeah. There we go. There we go. I've updated Orrin's dad's chunk. There you go. He got bigger. Dude, he's a giant. He is a giant. He eats the gnome. Oh, Thirsten, can you update my token size, please? Make him small. No, I have to be one size larger. Inch. Worm. Now, why are you one size larger now? I took ceremony of growth. Oh. It was like a permanent thing now. Yeah, you just turn it on or turn it off. It's just sustained. Oh, since when have you been bigger? You've got some gains, man. I've always been this big. What? I hate you, Rahua. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, guys, guys, guys, we're making a pact. We're making a pact for when Dilla comes back, okay? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When the token's on the table. When the token's on, everyone's like, Rahua's always been this big. What are you talking about? What are you talking about, Baldrick? Chat, you're in with this. Vod with the gaslight. Yeah, exactly. He's not going to watch the VOD, so. So, yeah, yeah, yeah, and if he does, Erndel, if you watch this VOD, reminder, you get a hero point. But only if you, only if you say the line, Thurston, I watched the VOD and someone in chat totally didn't tell me this happened. There you go. Foolproof. Yeah, absolutely. No, no one would ever betray me. No, that's right. The God Emperor Mankind once said that. Listen, he wasn't betrayed. Why did he make his last name heresy? Yeah. It's true, you know? Who would have seen that coming? Yeah. He wasn't betrayed. He was the betrayer, so fuck off. I think that's true and based. Blood for Blood God. Anyway. Death to the false Emperor. Of course, of course. Yep, everyone get a ladle. It's tasty. Hearty. Orrin, two ladles now. Oh, okay. Orrin will rush over. Give me a fortitude save. Me? Yeah, Orrin, give me a fortitude save. Okay. That's a four on the die for a total of 28. I think what makes me happy is like it's a con plus four, master plus 19. Your library robes give you a plus one to your save to resist this meat concoction as you consume it. Very good. You're holding it down. Very good. trying to decide if I'm morally okay with eating this. What are you talking about? What's the problem? It's just gnome. It's fine. No one's going to kill you for eating it. Do gnomes have souls? No, no, absolutely not. Not these ones. Fair enough. I little meowball. Fair enough. I believe you implicitly. Um, Thurston? Yeah. Yes, speaker. One of the fundamental concepts of, uh, Tannhauser's socialist program is intersectionality. And I believe that I've currently been hearing some rather prejudiced implications about gnomes. Can I roll occultism to determine if gnomes have souls? Please do. Okay. All right, that's a four on the die for a total of, uh, 24. All right, so what that check means is you do not have the determining power, but, and I'm loathe to admit this, there are three people in the party right now with hero points and the ability to make narrative declarations, just leaving that if you want to make your mark on the world of time. He's put Chekhov's gun on the table. Speak now or forever hold your hero point. Speaker, don't, oh, you don't have any hero points. No, I don't. Yeah. No, I like to live life on the edge. Uh, we'll never know if gnomes have souls or not. Yeah, Speaker, do you think you should ask for a penny point? Wait, why do I need the penny? He asked you, fucks. No, you're the one who asked the question. Yeah, if you don't want to talk for him, no. Yeah. Thurston, can Tannhauser have a pity point? I'll take a complication for him. Are we just making up all the rules now? No. At least I'm not losing my arm. If Tannhauser wants to take a pity point to narratively declare that gnomes don't have souls, then he has to take the complication. I never said that. Tannhauser just doesn't know. He's just not equipped to know if gnomes have souls. Well, I could, yeah, I mean, I mean, he could, he could get the pity point to reroll it, yes, but he would complicate on the check. I don't know. I'll spend a hero point. This isn't, you can't just offer up hero points for other people. You can spend the hero point to narratively declare the answer. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to narratively declare that the existing gnome. Can you say anything? Keep in mind, this means that every gnome we've ever encountered, the tiny gnome, the gnome with the funny hat, if you make it to where they don't have souls, when they die, that's it. I'm spending a hero point. Gnomes do not have souls and have never had souls. No, stop him. Stop him. You have to stop him. You have to stop this bad man. I don't come down the soul. I will kill you if you disprove that. Oh my God. Only you can save the gnomes people. I was going to say that the subject of gnome souls has been a hotly contested and often debated theological discussion that has gone on for centuries. We don't know if gnomes have souls and we never will. Okay. Okay. I mean. Okay. One sec. One sec. Before we do any, before we do anything, I have never been more confident and sure of my course of action in the entire five years of this campaign. Guys. I'm just putting this on screen. Just so you can look at what you're doing. Oh, I know. Does that thing have a soul or not? No. Yeah, make a poll. Zarin, make a poll. Zarin, make a poll. Zarin, make a poll. Does this unit have a soul? I'm delirating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Sorry, YouTube chat. Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Actually, actually, since we're like, I don't know, divorced from reality and I can actually hear Erdil's screams from the bed. Let's just, let's just temporarily go all the way here. Oh, let's just come back to this. Oh, we're in time. The only thing you hear is as you see this gnome in the fucking vortex. Oh my God. The Genndy Tartakovsky was fucking falling through time. I'm going to throw up. You okay? You okay? I'm doing great. So, so, like, I don't know, who wants to be a millionaire? Final answer. Do we, what is the, what is the final, what do you, what do you mean? Final answer? Of course, I'm standing by this. Anyone, anyone else with the power to save the countless gnomes of time from oblivion after Dav. Oh, here we go. Chat's weighing in. Chat's weighing in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, good. Good. Good. Okay. Why is it, why is it, sometimes? Why is it, why is it, why is it also, for audio listeners, I asked yours to make a poll. And the options are, like, does gnome is soul. Options are yes, no, sometimes, time gnome only. And so far, sometimes is winning with 54, now 57%. So we'll never have a sometimes thing. That's a song from, uh, Louis, not, not Louis Primo, Louis Armstrong. Cause, a woman is a sometimes thing. Kind of sexist, really. We're all just looking at the poll, just waiting. We're all just in anticipation. You're getting, this is Lord, you're getting here a pin drop. Lord's being written right now, live, on Rockerine. Everyone's, everyone's participating. We're waiting, we're waiting to see if gnomes have souls. It, it looks pretty solidly in the court of sometimes. Yeah, I want to call it there unless, you know, over 60 something people say sometimes. Uh, yeah, the answer is sometimes gnomes have souls. All right, final answer. Sometimes gnomes have souls. That's your answer, Thurston. Sometimes they do. All right, Hulky. So, please mark your shelf down here at Point Hulky to definitively declare that sometimes gnomes have souls. Thanks. I'll be back for this one. So anyway, I look deep inside of myself, ask myself, do gnomes have souls? Discover nothing, no information. Four, four absolutely gets you sometimes. I also, does gnome is soul is like the best. Doesn't, oh my fucking God. Does gnome is soul? Shh. He's gay. Mars is gay. I, I happened, I happened to be, I do think gnomes do sometimes have souls. Not these ones, he's another. All right, you know what? I believe Orrin implicitly, I'm going to drink the soup. I'm just saying. Jason to the pot. Oh, oh, I, and then give me a fortitude save. Oh, I got you. I got you. Watch this. Ha! Ha! This orange in a gnome soup is magically delicious. Do I taste that this gnome had a soul? You got the soul-y part. Mina, there is something fundamentally wrong with the food you were eating. It's like, it's like if you deep-fried Christmas. That's what this tastes like. It's, it's like your holidays drenched in a hearty broth and broiled. Huh. Well, Christmas at the Vali household was pretty dog shit. Until I say otherwise, everything you eat tastes of candy canes. Ugh. Ugh. Including your alcohol. Ugh. You're a motherfucker. Ah, you bastard. Ah, you got me. Vena's like making, making a face and like it's smack too much. It drives people insane. Oh, sorry. It's kind of minty. It's minking. It's is it supposed to be minty? Orin looks at you with a mouthful of no Yeah, let me try. Okay. Hey, everybody. Hey, boss. Yeah, what's up, Thurston? Hi, Thurston. We're just having a good time. Yeah, I can I can tell. I'm really I'm really I'm really like glad for you having this this fun time, right? Like, what's that dice for? Oh, no. No reason at all. Could all of you just give me a perception check? Yeah, sure. Just in general or for initiative? Just just just in general. I mean, you know, if you have a bonus that applies, it might be useful. Okay. 20. 30. Hey, um, Bruhu's knocked my dice over on a 20. Can I get a 20 instead? I mean, it's where the dice laid. I mean, I mean, I'll let you spend a hero point for that. That couldn't you can no, don't open the door to that shit. Yeah, I'm good. Orin got a 34. number who I got a 30. I said I got a 30. No, we didn't hear it. Tannhauser got a 20 on the dice, which becomes a 40. And Vina got a 19, which became a 40. Excellent. Pretty good. Very good. I'm very, I think you all did very, very well with this. I'm very, very proud of all of you and your efforts. Just do some stuff here real quick. Let's see what fresh hell is coming our way. Why would you ever think that I would ever do something like that? You know, that would be that would be wrong. It only happens once a session. Yeah. Yeah. Right. That's interesting that the initiative tracker just popped up. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of does that sometimes. I don't know. I don't know. I just said. Yeah. Foundry. Yeah. But you didn't mean anything by that, right? It wasn't like a thing. Of course. Of course. I mean, that would be wrong, right? Everybody. Right. It'd be strange. A third of ours in the initiative. He's on our side, right? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, for no apparent reason, if you all go into the encounters tab, you know, those numbers you rolled, I think we'll just start applying them to you. I think that, you know, that just makes sense. That's great. Odo, that means yours is up by two, if I recall correctly. Right? Right. because you get a plus two, right? Two, two initiative values. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very good. I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. You have Ruhua with a solid 30. I mean, that's really good. Oren. Oren was in there with a 34. four. Yeah. Yeah. Tannhauser. Tannhauser. Tannhauser. You, you got a natural 20. I did. It matches the natural 20 that I also had. Oh, that's, that's interesting. Then I guess our, um, resulting modifiers would have to determine the tiebreaker. No, because I rolled a natural 20 and actually, um, you know, Hey, what's that? Hey, what's that? Uh, Thirsten? What's that? What's that? Hey, let's, uh, let's come over here. Let's come over everybody. Hmm. No! Oh my fucking God! Hey! Huh. As you're all debating the, um, the intrinsic nature of if gnomes have souls over stew, fucking black-winged, rot-stained dragon flies overhead, glides in so stealthily, its wings disturb, less than the air friction, um, and like, the bubbling of the stew is louder, um, you know, allowing it to, uh, to maybe go for some initiative. Hey, Orrin, is he supposed to be here? Huh? What? Artist freezes. None of you have acted yet. So, just gonna fly. I, oh, let's go like... Oh, wow, it's very convenient how gathered around a pot, we're, um, we're in perfect range for, uh, both all clustered together for a breath weapon. I'm gonna go like this. We're just... Very convenient. Yeah, it would be so wrong if... Hey, get that 60-foot cone out of the chat, please. Whoa. Why? Why? Are you worried? Uh, it doesn't need to be there. I don't know, last time I got hit by rock rev, it didn't go well. Uh, I don't, uh, one sec. Do you know how to rotate it? Here we go. Yeah, yeah, no, sorry, it was dropping down the wrong one. Here we go, we're just, we're just gonna go, you know, we're gonna, just gonna, just gonna go good old, good old 60-foot cone and all of it's gonna be so good as it's gonna sploosh all of you. Um, in fact, it's just gonna sploosh all of you. Like, hey, everyone in that cone, yo, everyone in that cone, uh, the dragon is still 40 feet up above the tree as it swoops in. Uh, what do you, uh, give me, give me a, give me a, give me a old reflex save there. Oh, shit. Oh. Uh-oh. Oh, reflex save. I'm really good at these. 18 on the tie for a 40. I barely pass on an 18. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or a critical failed one. I failed. I'm gonna spin my hero point. You didn't use that hero point? Yeah. I'm gonna re-roll that one, chief. Shit. Using that hero point to keep his soul. Uh, I got succeeded just a little bit because of our plus 10 things. I roll eight on die for a total of 40. Good job, everyone. I'm very proud. Vina won't take damage from this, but the rest. I'm fast as fuck. Um, yeah, you, you are, you are, you are. Oh. Oh. Now, you're gonna take 57 points of rock damage. Oh, ah! Kua and Tanhauser are gonna take half of that. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Um, and at the same time that this beast comes down, you hear shouting from the south as, um, as several figures begin to emerge from cover and start attacking the locals. You see various lizards, serpentine creatures, lizard folk in fact emerging to attack. Now, you're all super epic pog characters. I'm putting these here more for background. You're sort of having this melee around the settlement, but really, as the security force here, the threat of the day is the dragon. Oh, it's falling off the cliff over there. Yeah. Wee! as is our friend. That didn't move them over. I will move them back. And one of them is just hiding on a cliff, acting like a tree. Awesome. All right, Vina, you're up. Okay. All right, so my auto panache thing is for when I dodge an attack, not an AoE. Alas and alack, so I must get panache from this guy, which I'm sure will be really easy. I'm going to just kind of, well, back to it, and I'm going to go into a tumble through. Reminder, the dragon is 40 feet in the air. Oh, he's 40 feet in the air. Never mind. Oh, I see the plus 40 feet. I'm dumb. Anyway, I will use two actions instead to pop wings of air. Then you'll attempt to tumble through him. I'll still have to move. I'll still have to move. So I'll go ahead and pop wings of air, and I think if I drag it on myself, it should go. But please effect wings of air. please. Please. There it goes. All right. So that's two actions. And then for my other two actions, I am going to or my other action. God, two actions. Good Lord. I'm going to move my movement speed up into the air and match it at the 40 feet. Remember, when you go up, it's like difficult terrain. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Okay. So 45 divided by two, we'll call that 20. So I can get. Going horizontal, you can go the full stuff, but if you go up. So I'll go here to 25 and then I'll go up the rest of my movement, which I think will get me 10 feet up. Yep. so I'll put that there and as we go careful Miss Vina. Hey, not to worry, bud. Yeah, Vina, this is going to be fun. I forgot this. We'll just say you're so smart. Hey, everybody, friends. Oh, can you all give me a will save? I'm not as good at this one. I wish I could be willful by being fast as fuck. 19 on the die of Prince as a 43 for whoever. Nice. Oh, oh, my God, I just succeeded with a 16 on the die. Nat 20. Oh, my God. Hell, yeah. Pretty good. I am Tannhauser. Also, where's Gorgamonger? You are. I didn't just desun. Gone. Gone. Floated. Yeah. Do you want to do on it? Well, he's Gorgamonger. Just to keep it fair, because you can put him down south a little way from me. Well, I got you. Yeah, just keep it fair for you. And Gorgamonger needs to make one, because I suffer with both of them. That's right, yeah. Yeah, I just want to make sure I'm doing it right. Oh, okay, you succeeded. Actually, just the same roll for me and Gorgamonger, so it worked out. We both succeeded on 35. Hooray. So that will be, so for those of you who succeed, you are still frightened one. For the rest of you, you are not frightened. Okay. That was Venus go. Tanhazor, you're up. dragon! You know, in case no one else saw it. And, uh, from there, yeah. Okay. Okay. Very good, very good, very good. Okay. Here's what I'm going to do. Uh, I'm going to, very quickly, I'm going to try to move, and I'm going to try to get right about here, knocking over tables to try to create some cover. And, uh, with my remaining two actions, I doubt this will work, but I, I have to try, and I can technically target up to five creatures, including the Lizardmen, which I suppose I could, but I'm going to reach my hand up, claw it out, and even though this creature is 40 feet above, I am going to cast Grasp of the Deep, and grip it, or attempt to, with the phantasmal pressure of the Deep Sea, and so it's going to have to make me a DC 32 will save. Sure, I'll roll that. Ooh. Oh, just on a four. Oh, my god. Ooh, this guy's scary. All right, well, regardless. That's a scary boy. Yeah. Dragon. Well, it's going to take half damage from this, and not be grabbed. But if it had failed, it would have been really sick. All right, that's 19 points. That's me done. As these phantasmal things attempt to, like, grab and pull at it, simply tears off. You see, like, tiny chunks of it. The reason it's not effective is because this rotten nature of it, it's like grabbing onto tar and peeling it off. It lets out this bellowing howl. At this point, Tanozer, you see that the citizens here are incredibly panicked, not just by the lizard, but this figure that they've never seen before. In fact, like, Oren's father is standing there almost transfixed at this heretical abomination that he's seeing. Oren, you would know your people have rarely dealt with the rot. In fact, like, except for whispers of it, it really hasn't touched this area. Oren's panicked stricken a bit. He kind of quickly turns to his father, like, Dad, get out of here. We'll try to drive it off. Try to get everyone back to safety. So, my boy, okay. Oh, come on, everyone. You can see, like, your dad is starting to, like, barrel through some of the, like, lesser lizard men and start to shelter, you know, some of our, some of our people. Yeah. We're gonna run in the house. Like, as they begin to do so, Oren will point, he's like, like, Gorgermonger! He's like, try to throw into ferrets! Go, go! And, or, but, as he yells at Gorgermonger, just kind of, seems to be lackadaising, not really wanting to reply to it all that much. And, he's like, Gorgermonger! Gorgermonger! Yeah! And so, he's like, fine! Oren will cast Regenerate on himself. Basically, what that does, two actions, an infusion of bodily energy, da-da-da, the target, this target temporary gains Regeneration 15, which resorts 15 HP to it at the start of each of its turns. While it has Regeneration, the target can't die from taking hit point damage, and its dying condition can't increase to a value that would kill it, and it stops with creature dying condition, dying 3, da-da-da. Though, if its wounded value becomes 4 or higher, it stays unconscious until its wounds are treated, da-da-da, and each time the creature gains hit points, Regenerations also regrows one damage or ruined organ, if any. So, if I, so, during the spell's duration, creature can also reattach severed body parts by spinning an interact action or hold the body part to an area it was severed from. So, if I lose my arm today, I think I'm good. So, we're going to do that for two actions, and he'll, and he'll just plead with Gorgermar, like, come on, Gorgermar, we got, we got to help them, he's like, well, I'm like, fine, I will target Rakuwa, and I will cast Kidance. Nice. Oh, thank you. And Gorgermar's only turn that he's going to basically move over here behind the table that Tanhauzer made. And that will be the end of Ornn's turn. Rakuwa, you're up. So, having fought rot abominations and draconic rot abominations before, Rakuwa would like to attempt to recall knowledge on this creature and see if he can glean some information about it. Yeah, nature or occultism. Absolutely. I will roll you nature. be a 35. With a 35, you know that rot dragons are typically standard variants of dragons found across time that have succumbed to the rot. In this case, this is likely a black dragon that has had itself been infected by the rot. You'd know black dragons are typically associated with acid, but this one obviously has some different abilities based off of its infection. So, you know the biggest thing is that the more powerful variants of these can also be spellcasters. This, you can assume, would probably have some weakness to moss, but unsure. Good to know. Okay, I can't get any other information than that. In that case, Rua is going to make a shielded stride towards the dearest rock creature. I'm going to have to see my actual movement again, because I still have 25, but I'm a little bit bigger now. You do that, boom. We're just going to sit here. The shield hasn't been drawn. pop my little tracker there. There we go. Cabo, guys. The dragon still floating in the air just unleashes this. It drops down, gliding down, seemingly for free, just kind of going to the ground briefly. As it lands, it begins kind of like encanting, and you hear this draconic like, which anyone who speaks draconic, you know, is like magic. But as this is going on, you hear it sort of like chuckle fellow. intruders here will not be allowed. This must spread. And then it casts a spell. This is mean. It's going to cast a spell. It's going to be merciful. It is a 60-foot line. And so you know what? He's actually going to have to he's big enough. He'll hit Veena in it just based on the size of him. So it's going to hit Veena, Ruhua, and Orin. I'm going to need a fortitude save and then I'll explain what happens. Okay. Drop that right there for you. A what? Yeah, just, just, just. Ah, that's a good one. Yeah, it's a good one. Nat 20. Woo! Failure on a 16 plus an 18. Orin failed with a 29. Failed with a 34. Okay, so Ruhua, you dodged this, but what you see is, like, the boiling rot on its flesh begins to, like, float into the air, the tumors spinning and turning, like, oddly into whirling blades. As these black blades of rot come streaming out, through you. Veena, you're going to be struck. Ruhua, you managed to dodge, having, having understanding of what this creature is, and then, like, Orin, you're just. I get body. You are struck by these, yeah. I'm yon. Veena, look out! Huh? So, Veena, you will take 28 points of damage, and now you have persistent bleed damage. as these cut through and saw through you, and Orin, that is the same for you, my friend. Ouchies! Um, and so, that was, it dropped, it roared, it did that, it will... Oh, good thing I did regen. Yeah, um, yeah, um, and that's going to be this thing's go as it continues to just, like, roar at you for this, for your presence here. Veena, you're up. Oh, shit. Okay. Woo! Um, nothing, nothing we haven't dealt with before, right, guys? Okay. Uh, he's dropped down, uh, I'm ten feet above him, so I'm gonna tumble through, kind of at a diagonal, I'm gonna kind of try to swoosh around him. Sure. Um, here we go. Eh? We gotta do our best to surround him, Ms. Veena. Uh-huh. We can't all stay grouped up. Doing what I can. Uh, all right, that is a thirty-nine, and I will be able to get here, or I can go maybe here. For podcast people, uh, you went behind him. Yeah, I went behind him, and I'm gonna come back down to the ground. Okay, so you are tumbling through. Oh, great. I'm gonna get rotted. Yep. Well, it's not that you're gonna get rotted, that, that would be silly. You are, however, gonna get smacked by its tail. Oh, ow. As any true, uh, World of Warcraft raider will know, uh, avoid the tail. Did you fight on Ixia, Ms. Veena? No! Hit the sides! And we'll tail swipe into the web! Oh! Oh, my God! Oh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm getting all of his boils there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey. Yeah. Uh, um, 50 DKP minus. Oh, my God! Ow! 62 points of bludgeoning damage. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! You can now continue. Oh, I'm sorry, I only picked Final Fantasy 14. Ow! They have much better ground mechanics for showing off debuffs. Ugh! Ugh! Grr! Um, well, nothing I can do but smack him. Unless he's gonna smack me again. Alright. Or, well, he's already used his reaction, so, uh, you know, get him. That's an envoy ability. You need to play an envoy to get him. But you'll hit. Damn it! I will still hit him. Alright. And you did succeed, so technically, technically, this guy is off guard, so I'll put that on, too. So, you would have hit by two more. Meh. Doesn't give me a crit, but it makes me feel better. Seven. Alright. So, finisher, that's not great damage, but I'll give you 31 points of damage. Takes 31, he roars. Alright, and then, um, for my last action, I'll just hit him again. At a map minus five. Whack. Okay. Okay, I'll give you a eight. Yeah, that's gonna hit with the off guard, so good job. Very nice. Just barely, good lord. Oh, why did it do the finisher? I don't know. You have a target on your character sheet? Um, when I use it once, it should go away. Uh, here, I'll just roll damage from my character sheet. Yeah, roll just standard damage. Yeah. Yeah. Um, damage. Um, yeah, I don't have my finisher toggled or anything, and I don't have panache on, don't worry about it. Just roll. That's better. Move on. Yeah. Uh, very sorry. That is a 24 points of damage. Okay, let's do this. All right. Good job. Oh, oh, wow, that's a that's a big health bug. Does anybody else hear Dark Souls music? Ah, make a recovery check. Take 12 more damage, Vina. Oh, my God. Uh-oh. Uh, recovery check. Uh, I don't think that does it. Sure doesn't. All right. Uh, Tannhauser, you're up. Tannhauser is going to cry out, hold for as long as you can. We need to make sure that Orin's people are able to evacuate. And then Tannhauser is going to raise both of his hands. And if I know anything about dragons, I know it's that they don't like to be tied down. So I'm going to spend three actions casting earthworks. and in a 15 foot burst, I am going to place earthworks all around the dragon. Okay. Vertically. You sure you want in that position? Yes, because the space above it, not there, but above it, 10 feet up. Okay. Yeah. So that way, if it attempts to fly or otherwise move, it's, it's certainly big enough, I would argue probably taller than 10 feet, right? Yeah. So, Vina is not taller than 10 feet. So he's going to have, he's going to have to worry about that. She's not. The only person that might even maybe have to deal with it is Rahua, but he can just get adjacent to it. And if he decides to fly up, he will at least be marginally slowed. So that's fun. Good. Good call. Good call. That is three actions. That's the best I can do. Hopefully next turn, if he stays around there, I might have a few other tricks up my sleeve. I will end the turn. Place it in attack mode. In attack mode. I was thinking about that. I was like, I can't make that bit yet. Good. Good. Audio. Okay. It's my turn. Yeah. Was that Orin's Orin kind of checks on everybody running away. He's like, okay, good, good. Why's this big AOE here? Someone's making an AOE. They're probably on the wrong layer. Orin will. I'm going to find where the base of whoa. There's a lot of AOE. AOE's in these maps. Somebody dragged wrong, it seems. I think they're hulkies. I got them. Yeah, they were mine. I was checking something and it freaked out because I was dragging it under my player sheet. It's all good. Oh, no, can't do that. I need to see how far away. Holy fuck. Sorry, someone just messaged me the most fucked up thing because they're watching the show and it's like, hi, Thurston, Orin cast regenerated on himself. What if that piece of gnome inside Orin starts regenerating? Red cat chest burster. Yeah. Oh, that's got to go in a book. That's so messed up. That's so fucking messed up. I fucking worship up a throne at that idea. That's so good. Holy shit. All right. All right. Orin, what are we doing? I was trying pre-measure here. So Orin is going to whoosh basically because I now have fly speed now. I can just do it now because of our level 13 stuff. I'm going to rush over here for one action. Then I'm going to go to Miss Vina and be like, I got you, Miss Vina. And he will cast a two action heal at fifth rank. Yeah, do it. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He got Miss Vina. Thanks, buddy. Hold him off just a little bit longer. Blood in my mouth tastes minty. I'll apply this to you, don't worry. There you go. And you are now healed from that. So that's three of his actions and Gorgrubunger will begin to start heading over. He'll go 15 this way for his one action and he's going to get behind Oren here. So it's in the south of Oren. Oren kind of rushes up near to the front of the dragon, heals Vina. And that will be the end of his turn. Ow. And his fear condition should be going away as he makes a recovery check as well. Gets a 19. So it goes away. His fear is now gone. Nice. And I think my healing got applied. Yes, it did. Automate got applied for 15 because of regenerate. Now it's for his turn. Rahula, I have a quick question. I've never been in a situation. I'm certain you will. I've never been in a situation where I've been larger than I ever have been and thus have gotten reached through the persistent enlarge. Am I still considered flanked or do I need to be base to base with the... So in this case you are going, if you have reached, now does your enlarge and give you reach? It does. It gives me the effects of a persistent enlarge. If I pull up the actual wording of this, I'm just ceremony of growth. Bolstered by magical power, the target grows to the size large if its equipment grows with it but returns to normal size of the creature's clumsy one, its reach increases by five feet or ten if it started as tiny. I'm not tiny. And a plus two status bonus to melee. Okay, and if you have reach, you are flinging, so... Excellent! So I'm going to attempt something. I don't really think it's going to work, but we're going to certainly try. I'm going to unleash a delightful little AoE seeing this creature and everybody's stacking things on top of it, trying to keep this thing in one place. And I am going to scroll down my stat sheet and draw that AoE that I was oh so poorly hiding before. I believe in you. And we're going to cast stagnate time. Okay. So you've 20 foot burst. I'm going to move that so it's just right here. It doesn't catch our allies, but it will certainly catch this. Excellent. Okay. It does need a will save on that one. At the beginning of its turn. With the remaining action I have, I'm going to take a chance to smack him. Go ahead. Smack him. Target him right there. Give him a little tap tap. Give him a little tap tap. He'll let me target it. Hello? Come on. There we go. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh. That's a nothing. No. Well, it's going to be the end of your turn. You want to pass it over to me? I'll make that will save. Yeah, sure will. Let's see if I can do what I want to do here. I'm kind of confident. Okay. Okay, I'm going to make a will save. Yeah, I'm going to make a will save. Yeah. I'm going to absolutely make a will save. All right. So, that's a crit for podcast. It's a crit. It's a crit with a 45. Vina. It says on my screen, you're barely hurt. You going to fix that? We're going to go at you with some jaws. Oh, yay! Oh, my god! Just when you thought it was safe. Pretty cool. Water. Pretty cool. Oh, just roll this. Oh, it rolled terribly, so it's only 52 points of damage. You're going to take some persistent rot damage now as well. you are now bleeding from blades and this black ooze is seeping into you. You are fucked up in so many ways. And for its next action, because it's a dragon, it once again begins chanting. Do you got to do that? It does. It does. And what it's going to do, it is it is going to translocate into the air 10 feet up over here by Tannhauser. Counterspell? Yeah, you absolutely can. Absolutely. I'll counter spell that. 100%. One scundo person. Control Z should be able to bring it back for you. Yeah. All right, hold on. Let's see. All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, let's take a look here. Uh-huh. All right, cool. Oh, I don't have, oh God, I don't have translocate prepared. Never mind. Boop. Oh, well. Oopsie daisy. And, uh, 10 feet up. Cool. Neat. Pog. All right, that's going to be the dragons go as it continues. You are abominations. I shall rend you. Abominations. All right, Avina, you're up. Okay. I'm not exactly sure if I'm making much of a dent in this thing, but, um, nothing to do with keep hitting it. First action. That's worked out for you. Uh, second action, I'm gonna... It's 10 feet up, by the way. Yeah, it's 10 feet up, so it'll be an extra 20 feet of my movement to get to it. So I can tumble through to, like, here-ish? Sure. Or I can go here-ish, see if we can't flank him. Uh, because, yeah, that adds an additional 25, and then I can go 20 in the air, or 10 feet in the air. Um, all right, before I do that, I do need to tumble, I'm gonna target him for a tumble through for that last bit of movement. Um, ta-da! And that will just fail! Um, I don't know why it gave me panache twice, I definitely don't get that. Uh, it says, your thing is failure, you still get panache, you fail- Oh, I still get panache, oh yeah, because my thingy- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, yeah. Why does he give it to me twice? That's fine. I don't know, you should just have once, but yeah, you tumble, or you fail to tumble, but you get into the position you need to be. All right, yeah, I'm going to very quickly swoosh around and just hit him with everything I got, and I learned nothing about the tail before, um, so, Oh, it's not hitting you with the tail. That's a very specific way to put that. Um, enemies. I'm going to spend hero points on that one because I'm scared. I'm really scared. Well, that wasn't great. Uh, just hit him with a 40. Yeah, you do. Okay. Uh, finish your damage. That was pretty okay for a 34. You hit him. He still has so much help. All right, guys. He has seen better days, though. He's seen better days. Uh, you guys got this right? Ow! Ow! Whoa. Ow! Oh, yeah, that's right. All your persistent damage. Excellent. Do you want to roll your recovery for your bleeding and your rot and see if any of them go away? First one sure doesn't. Next one. Next one. Oh, yay. Yay. I've had enough rot in my life. Good. That one's easier to reapply. Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, um, Ted, how's it? My turn. Hi, I'm Tienhauser. Hi, Tienhauser. Okay, I need to think. I need to do a big, big think. Okay, here's, uh, this, uh, translocate shenaniganry, I must admit, has upset the balance of what I was intending to do. That being said, it has not completely destroyed everything. Uh, fellas, this next turn, are any of you planning on attacking the creature? Yes. With an attack? Yes. Yeah, that's kind of what I do. Oren or Gorgamunger. Hmm. That I have to pick an option of kind of what happens because I'll say yes for now and say good luck everyone. Okay, great, great, great, great, great. All right, in that case, seeing this, uh, this freak who's pivoting around for free, I'm sorry. The same battle tech. It's not your turn. It's not your fucking turn. I'm going to take a look at them, scour through the various schemes of fate, and then all of a sudden blinking out from my eyes, I'm going to elucidate all of my party into the insights I've gotten on its next move temporally. I'm going to cast my seventh rank spell, true target. And I am going to give four creatures, uh, basically D&D style advantage. I'm giving you guys true target, uh, where you get to roll twice and use the better result. You also ignore circumstantial penalties to the attack roll and any flat checks required due to be, uh, due to the designated creature being concealed or hidden till the end of the next turn. Then, I'm going to clang my staff onto the ground. I can't help but notice that there is, um, a skillet right here on the table. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, skillets require flame, and so I'm going to enhance the, the fire present here, and I'm going to cast pyrotechnics. And I am going to cause the smoke cloud effect, where thick smoke billows out from the fire and coalesces into a cloud that spreads up to a 20-foot radius burst centered on the targeted fire. In this case, right here. Creatures within the smoke cloud take a minus four circumstance penalty to visual perception checks, and creatures outside the smoke cloud take a minus four circumstantial the first time I sustain this spell each round, I can cause the smoke to descend up to 20 feet, but I cannot move the area laterally. Creatures that start their turn within the smoke cloud must attempt a fortitude save, and then are temporarily immune to one minute, and if you fail, you are sickened. Okay. Fortunately, all of your attacks are going to be ignoring this cloud of smoke, but with any luck, it'll fail the fortitude save on its next turn. And hopefully provide us some kind of cover. That's me done. All right, Oren's up. Okay. That's like, majority of, Oren sees majority of his people have escaped at this point, right? Or some are still in battle with some lizard men. The last few of them are like fighting against some of the, some of the lizard folk, but yeah, we'll say they're, they're now, the combat has moved away from this point. They're all sheltering in the main building. So at this point, Oren will go like, like, we got to do what we can to try to scare this thing away. He's like, you will hurt people no more, and he will cast cosmic form. And he'll take on the powers of the sun. You recreate your form entirely out of cosmic energy, transforming into a large battle form. You must have enough space to expand into. Sparell's lost. I go right here. And when you cast a spell, choose to take on the powers of the moon or the sun. I pick sun. You have hands in this battle form and can use manipulate actions. You can dismiss the spell. You get the following statistics and abilities regardless of the form that you choose. Ace of 21, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. Sun, I just basically, I get like a fly of 50, a speed of 30. I could punch people. I could do sunbeam, and that's what I'm going to do because it takes two actions to do so, and I'm going to use my one action to go sunbeam, and let's see if everything went forward. Yes, it did. Yay, it did automatically. Want to make sure, yes. He goes, basically just fires down into it, and that is a 15 on die for a total of 40. Now, what does your thing do for troops? Is it like I get to roll twice? Basically, you get to roll twice and pick the highest. Okay. I'll just roll this again. See which one is the highest. Yeah, it's 43. It's whatever. No crits. So, he'll do a whole bunch of damage. Or like 1d6 that rolls. 12. That seems wrong. Why is it? It's only 1d6 plus 10, and then fire 1d6 persistent fire. Oh, well. Oh, well. Yeah. The benefit of most form spells is just related to all the, like, ancillary crap you get. No, it's fine. It's not really the attacks. He's got persistent fire on him. Oh, yeah. It can still even something. And Gorgomar will take his turn on 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. And now he goes this way. And just to make sure he gets speed. Yep. That's as far as you can go on that one action. Getting closer and closer to the Dargon. And... Oh, sorry. I didn't... I don't even apply my healing twice. In that will... Yes, that's all the actions I can do. Get up to his flank. All right. All righty-dighty. Seeing Orin grow to gargantuan size to squash this dragon like an insect who is galvanized and moves up further. Channeling a gnarkic energy in his fist, he goes to lash out with a strike from his mossy pick. A little bit more since he's changed. But I'm going to attempt to restorative strike this dragon. Okay. That's a good one. hit you. Put that in chat there. I'm going to actually make the attack action here. Oh. Hold on. I believe in you. You can do it. You can drag to the effect. Oh. Okay. Thirsten. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah, yeah. I know what you're going to do, but at the same point, here's how I'm going to, like, dick you over more. Now I'm going to take advantage of that sweet, sweet tail this dragon has. Because you've attacked it, and it gets to do this when you attack it. Uh-oh. Oh, I have to turn. Wait. Watch out, it's Teril. Rahua. Rahua. You get to re-roll that. Oh, that's true. I do get to re-roll it. Yeah, you can re-roll it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do another, uh, yeah, just attack again. Yeah. That's much better. But it still missed out. Holy shit. Uh, let me see if it's applying the actual status. Plus, I'm supposed to get a plus two status for melee attacks due to enlarge. I'm not sure if it's applying correctly. He's also, I should mention, I don't know if he gets any ganging up or flanking bonuses based on this. Not from, not from this. It is not applying correctly, actually. It's a status to melee damage, not attacking. Oh, yep. You're correct. My bad. It's okay. Mystified. And the problem here, here's, here's the thing. Um, Tannhauser's ability prevents you from using a hero point on this. Because it is a fortune effect. You can't do multiple fortune effects. I see. That makes sense. Yeah. But you tried and Tannhauser's was better because it wouldn't mean it complicate. So, you know. Yeah. Well, fuck. I did all I could. You gave me a good college job in a rough spot. Dragon's going to go, as was fondly predicted by Speaker. The, the, the fires here don't seem to affect it in terms of its vision. Uh, dragon's going to dragon, but, um, it does have to make a fortitude save. Yep. Yep. Yep. Indeed. Indeed. Indeed. I will roll it. Indeed. Indeed. It will. Like, destroy it because it's a dragon. Oh, my God. Holy shit. Um, it's it's it's one action this round. It's going to be. It's going to be to. Jaw attack Vena again. Hi, Vena. Hey, man, you don't gotta do all that. Oh, my God. Ow, ow. Hey, Vena. Mm hmm. That splat sound feels very appropriate. Yeah, you're going to take 70 points of damage. I'm down. You're down. You're wounded too. That's the sound I make when I hit the dirt. Yeah, you're going to move into now to do the most dragon tactic that ever exists. Wait a second. Oh, no. Mm hmm. No, no, she's not down. OK, because guess what? You got your delay consequence thing. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, sweet. OK. Ring of ding ding. cast that forward forward later in time. Mm hmm. OK. So I will reverse this. So I'm just going to spend an extra turn looking like that one Willem Defoe screenshot. Yep. A little bit. it's OK. You're going to you're going to you're going to hold on to that because that is going to end after one round. So on the dragon's round, you're going to take 70 points of damage. Right. And for its next two actions, the dragon will fly up 150 feet into gear. Oh. Oh, there he goes. Anybody feeling a portent of doom right now? Oh, I I am Oh, sorry. And I will take four points of fire damage from the Oh, no. There's a trail of fire as he ascends. Yeah, this is as the cosmic fire like lights off of him and then he will fly up. 100 because he'll double move to get 150 feet up because his fly speed is 150 feet. Tanhazer. By the way, everyone, if you didn't learn, we're teaching the players how dragons work. I'm learning. How many feet I don't think I mean, this motherfucker, why did you even bother translocating him? He would have just ignored all the difficult terrain if he could move on. He wanted to get all of it because I because because I wanted to just have it prove it was a better wizard. Oh, I see. Come on. Yeah, Thurston. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Anyway, I'm going to kill you now. Okay, let's see. I have nothing that can fire in range. I can't do anything to meaningfully interact with this. The best I can do is I am going to I'm no longer sustaining the stupid fire spell. We never even put down the thing for it, but I would say the best thing that I can do is I'm going to cast mist on the cabin to try to conceal it from sight. Okay. Yeah, that's all I can do. Pass turn. Awesome. Or you heal your the gnome like kicks in your belly. Oh, I'm pregnant. I don't like that. No, no, no, not like that. You fucking saw it. Oh, my God. You motherfucker. That's what even though the spell actually says to me and not to know. You fucking did it. I was going to make you regret it. You have made Orin pregnant on this show, you dumb bastard. My mama said I got to come home right now immediately. It is debatable whether or not your baby has a soul. Hey, guys, I didn't actually check with my mom if this was a sleepover. I got to go. Bye. You made it bad. You lying. Anyway, Orin's going to dismiss the cosmic form because he needs to immediately help Alice with free action, do that. He will step one and he's going to look to Vina and go like, Vina needs help now. He's going to six rank heal Vina to help with the inevitable. Thank you. You see a stream of green healing energy come forth and you've been applied with 73 points of healing. That's as much as he's going to do. Gorgomonger with his single action left. He's technically not in base to base, so that would be, well, he's 160 feet up. Anyway, Gorgomonger's going to chill there and go way in which he could fly. He got a little baby. And now it's Ruhu's turn. It is indeed Ruhu's turn. So who is not immediately nearby Ruhu? Who's up in the air? Other than the dragon, which is 160 feet up. Yeah, I think, I think, I mean, I think Vina was like, was Vina, no, Vina came to ground levels. I'm 10 feet up. Oh, okay. Mark it on your token there. Mark it on your thing, because you can right click, and then it's the top left. I thought I did. That's fine. That still works. Why do I have that? With that in mind, and also what is immediately going to come to pass, who is going to take the opportunity to let out a horrific screech as an arc energy boils forth, and I'm going to cast a three-action keel, a 30-foot emanation. Cool. Nice. Oh, we definitely all need that. They have three-foot emanation on us. Yeah. I don't think I need to if you 60 everybody, it'll Oh, you healed the dragon. That was so nice. It's just the animation. It was just the animation. And then roll damage healing. Sanctitus. I feel that should be higher. No, three-action heal does not heal a lot. The trade-off you do is that you can get multiple people. It's not a big AOE heal. It is weak in comparison for that. Understandable. I'm going to let Thurston click the heal button so they don't accidentally do it. Yeah, because like collectively you've done you know one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, like 110 healing but it's spread. How does that work for Gorgamonger? Do you both get healed from that? If we both get healed, we both get healed. Oh, so you double dip. Yeah, I double dip. You both get damaged or is that... Yeah, okay. Cool. Yeah, for AOEs because of how it is, like I take the worst if it's like AOE damage, but if it's like healing stuff, every single time I see him, like if he gets healed, he gets healed 20, and then Oren gets healed, he gets healed 20. Yeah, okay. They kind of balance that out a bit. Or we can talk with Logan later and be like, hey, what is this for? I don't know. I just was, I honestly, I'm just not sure off the top of my head, whatever. I trust you. Do you be awesome? If you don't like it, you agree, that's fine. No, no, no. I am down. Which is right, Ian? Yeah. Okay. Ru, is that your go? Yeah, I guess three actions. That is. Yep, three actions. I need a little bit of juice for what's to come. You're off. Okay. Now it's Venus turn and I don't think you're prone or wounded or anything. But you will take 70 points immediately. Just so you know, there is, there is a, is a source on this. I just checked. It is in the class, the ability. Anytime you get healed or take damage, it's, it's, it's one source. So you only get the 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will revert, Grogamongers. Thank you. Okay. Yeah, but you can take off your wounded prone by right-clicking it. Oh, yes. Wounded prone. All right. Still bleeding though. All right. Well, uh, I'll be honest, I really wish I invested in better guns. But, uh. Oh, character moment. I'll get rid of the guns. Yeah. Reward that character moment. Dragon, it's range. Fish fuckers. Oh, well. Let's see. 160 feet. I move. 45 a turn. 45 times 3 divided by 2. I don't, I don't know if I can reach him, actually. Vina, don't chase it. You're finding it's turf up there. I guess. Ugh. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine. I'm gonna, I'm gonna shoot it. With my pistol. Why does it say it's empty? I never, I never unloaded it. Always keep my flintlock noted. You never know in these streets. You never know in these streets. Whatever. I guess I'll have to. Uh, oh god, I never use my gun. Consumable. Okay, can I, can I not? Please? All right, let me help you out here. So, you have doing pistols, Brian. Okay, there we go. Yeah. There we go. I was clicking on the wrong thing. Uh, so I'm just gonna shoot at him with my pea shooter. Do it, do it, do it. That's the one that crits. Okay. Not anything that I have a finisher on. All right, what, peep this dice pool. Go. That wasn't very good. Take 12 damage. Almost stunned it, but, you know, it could succeed. Almost stunned it. All right. Well, uh. Did the cover on it. Reload. Uh-huh, reload. Okay. Third action, shoot again and pray for a 20. Uh, I think Oren was on the right track. Uh, third action, I'm gonna get to cover. Jump behind the table. Cool. As you jump behind the table. What's back here? Consequences. As the effect of, of your, your horrific moment, uh, impacts you. Uh, you may. Yeah. Oh. I almost forgot about that. Yeah. Oh, bleed. Oh, I'm hurting. Okay. It's all right, everybody. I'm having a really normal time. Don't pass that one. That was really bad. Oh my God. Don't pass that one either. Jesus. Oh my Christ. I'm having a really good time. I love, I love melee. Once more, the blood in my mouth tastes like peppermint. It does. It does. Are you, uh, sad? You're not, you're not where I want you to be. Um. Oh yeah. Eh, it's sad. Oh man, the dragon is going to go. He's going to fly over, go diagonally down and only be 120 feet directly above Oren. Oh. It looks up. He casts a spell. Oren, uh. I need you to click on this, uh, saving throw for me. Dope. He's going to turn you into wood. What? Just like me. I almost saw that one land. I critically succeed. Oh. Oh, very good. Very nice. Very good. Um. I guess I have a thing that lets me critically succeed that, so yeah. Yeah. Um. Nice. Okay. Well, that's going to be its go. Tanhazard. I'm already part wood. Oh, sorry. It takes one point of fire damage from the fishers and fire. So, remind me again. This guy's landed by now, yeah? No, he's 20. He's 120 feet in the air above Oren. 120 feet in the air above Oren. Okay. So, that is not applicable for the wall of stone. Um. It's not. I don't suppose I could cast a gentle landing on it. Uh. That would be fun. Let's see. Do I have any? Oh, you can arrest its false shirt. Yeah, yeah. I bet. Uh. Well, unfortunately, Tanhazard is kind of bad at fighting dragons, at least with the current spell set that I have set up for myself. Um. I do not have the means to force it to plummet to the ground. I don't have earthbine. And I've got a bunch of things that, uh, slow movement on the ground. Uh. Ha ha. Funny. So, what I think I have to do is, uh, the best bet to try and do enough damage to scare it off. Uh. I'm going to spend three actions and I'm going to cast Force Barrage. Yeah. Do it. And so, here's the blemish. That is three. Oh. Oh no, it does. It does more than one. Okay. Maximum of three shards. Uh. And then I spend one additional. This is a base level one shard. So, I fire one additional shard with each action I spend. Okay. For heightened two plus. This is heightened, uh, to level three. So, how many shards individually am I getting here? Okay. So, it's level three. So, okay. So, uh, for each of your three actions, you will get three shards. Check. Uh, you fire one additional with each action you spend for plus two. So, you're going to get six. All right. Six shards total? Yeah. Okay. Great. So, that's one. So, six. Or you could just save us all a bunch of time and roll six d four plus six. Okay. Wait, I fucked up. Okay, look. Ignore all this. I'm going to just roll 64 plus six. Plus six. Okay, let's all save us some time. Okay, great. Sorry about that. 20 damage. Boom. Uh, peppered by these. Okay. Absolutely. Best turn. All right. Oren, you're back. Hmm. 120 feet, you say? Uh-huh. I cast thunder strike, which has arraigned 120 feet. Do it. It's going to obliterate this. But it's all I got right now. Come on, roll one, one, one. Aw. Well, it's a normal save. It didn't critically succeed. Yeah, you're going to do something. You're going to do something to it. Yeah. And it's thunder strike. Pow! Thunder comes down for the heavens and strikes him for he'll take half of 48. Nice. Uh, nice. Okay. Very good. Very good. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now, would you say his scales are metallic? No. Does he not narrate that his scales are like iron? No, no, no. The rot turned into like, like metal, but it was not actually metal. You know what I'm doing. There was no metal here. I get you. Yeah, there is. Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh, Tanhauser's, uh, definitely also not metal. So, yeah. Uh, he does that. That's what? I'm gonna move your dragon real quick. Yeah. And Oren's going to skedaddle all the way under this tree. I'll move your dragon back. And, uh, Morgan Morgan's gonna stay exactly where he's at. Uh, Oren basically kind of goes down to the bottom right under a tree to kind of like get some cover in case this thing wants to dive bomb us at some point and just get away from his allies in case it, uh, wants to do any AoE stuff and cast any more weird magics. So, with that, Oren, does that one move it flaps away and now it's Ruhua's turn. Ruhua. Oh, boy. It's Ruhua's turn again. Oh, lord. It's Ruhua. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. It's me. Mario. Hello, Mario. Oh. Hello. Hello, Ruhua. Hello, Ruhua. Tadhauser, what's that? I'll let you know that I can brush my teeth all by myself. Ruhua's menacing over you large with a very big toothbrush. Last known footage. So, we're just gonna have Ruhua move right there. and I know this is very important. Directly under him. Directly under. This is, again, this is critically important. Uh-huh. And what Ruhua's gonna do is he's gonna point his big finger right up towards the dragon. And just like Ultra Magnus on the poster for Transformers 86 is gonna shoot a big old fucking beam of light. I'm gonna cast Radiant Beam. Do you do the whole, can you do like the whole like Dragon Ball thing? Don't, different IP, different IP. I'm shooting my, I'm shooting my iconic Transformers gun right now. Transformers gun, Transformers gun. Boam. Boam. Boam. Boam. Boam. Is that a critical success or a regular success? No, just a regular success. Okay. That's okay. The 38. Yeah. I got you. It didn't appear on my sheet for some reason, so I couldn't see. It shows right by his stand at the bottom there. In the corner. Oh, shit. Guys, it didn't appear on his sheet, okay? Yeah. It doesn't exist, okay? Yeah. It doesn't exist, bro. Yeah. It's not there. Stop, bro. Stop fucking talking about this. Try to keep up. Try to keep up. 32 damage. Interesting. Hey, the dragon's not feeling good. That's crazy. I'm not feeling good either. I mean, I think so. He just fucking shot him in the stomach. Is that your go? Is that your go? Vina? Show no viz. Okay. Vina is having a very tough time and I've calculated how far I can move up. It's less than half of his current distance. Correct. Vina, don't do it. You know, I'm not sure what my options are here. You keep shooting it. If you go nearer, you'll get swapped. And if he beats you up, you'll fall 120 feet. Why are you ruining my face? That's true. What did you? What? I'm sorry. What? What? That was awesome. So cool, Thurston. I love hanging out with you, Thurston. I know. I'm not a motherfucker for this. This is players aren't turning to Odo. Hey, man. Don't do it. You're going to fall under 20 feet. Oh God. And you have to sustain flight up there, which is an action and everything else. If he ain't near you, he ain't hurting you. True. Until he does fireball. don't say that. Okay. He's a wizard. Peashooter. Yeah. Like Tannhauser. Like Tannhauser. Yeah. Peashooter go. Boom, baby. Why? Good job. A second crit? Why don't I ever crit on my finishers? And they just start coming and they start coming. Just change your fucking class to gunslinger, dude. You're fucking cooked. I know. I'm cooked. Vito's going to wake up one day and be like, I'm sick of this fucking sword. Give me a gun. I'm sick of this stupid chud sword. Alright, well. Hashtag my chud sword. Chud Hauser. No! Points of damage. And he will still crit succeed on that fortitude save. So, that was action number one. Action number two, I'm going to reload. Action number three, I'm going to shoot him with a map minus five. I was going to laugh. How does that hit? Wait, no, you rolled a 20 again. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? You wrote me, does it crit? Because it's a correct degree. It's a degree of failure. Because it's not 10. It's not, it's less than 10. Yep. Yep. Well, damn it. You did. five damage live in fear. I don't think he felt that one at all, but that's going to be my turn. Hey, you're not Odo. What happened to Odo? What? You're not Odo. Where's the Odo that rolls bad? Odo always rolls bad. This is not real. This is, what have you done with her? I don't know what happened here. I think it's because the universe wants me to roll well only when it's funny. Ow! Because, oh, there we go. On the things that actually do the big swashbuckler damage, it's just like, nah, you don't do that one. You crit on your peashooter, though. Crit fail again! Maybe I'll roll above a 10 on these. No, I won't. For your fucking debos, dude. Hey, Merrill, I was saying, I'm complimenting him that way. Glad to have you back. Yeah, exactly. Welcome back, Odo. Hey, everybody, the dragon, the dragon's gonna go now. Don't do that. Can we convince him not to? Move this way in a dive bomb formation. Oh, no! He's going to be basically dive bomb for its first action to be 20 feet above you. Oh, great! Which is very convenient. Above Odo. Above Odo. Which is very convenient because that's actually gonna put you squarely in its jaw range. Actually, it's gonna go, sorry, my bad, it's gonna have to go 15 feet. It wants to make sure you fit in the jaws. This next action is gonna be to jaw attack you. Oh, jaws. Great. I love that sound. That sounds good. That's a good thing that just happened, right? Yeah, interesting. Thurston, I'm going to use a reaction, and I am going to reduce a little bit of damage from that. I don't think actually it's not gonna fucking save me, is it? If it's nimble dodge, you'll still crit. No, no, planar sidestep. I gain resistance 25 to all damage against the triggering attack. So 25 might matter, that will only mean it will do 55 damage. Oh, then I'll live. Yeah, I'll planar sidestep to stay alive. It'll be at three hit points as you planar sidestep. And then it will spend its next action to fly 150 feet away. Fucker! I'm gonna crit you with my stupid gun again. So it'll be 150 feet away from you, Vina. Great. Fucking hate this shit! Alright, it's 150 feet. No, no, no, from you, from you, Tannhauser, it's gonna be 200 feet. Okay, that's fine. That's easily within range. I cast chain lightning. Okay, yeah, sweet. Range, 500 feet. Yeah, that'll do it. I'll fucking now go, oh, shit, zap! Still succeed. Roll damage. Rarely succeeds, yeah, absolutely. 37. Okay. All right, and then for my last action, I am going to, let's see, drain bonded item and restore my chain lightning spell slot. Okay. All right. Well, then, hello, Mario. I was depending what to do on some other stuff, but I got to go save Vina before her stuff basically takes her away. Am I that fast on one? What the hell? What the heck? All right, one action, fly, pretty much just using my fly speed because it's now faster than my land, just fluttering. I am still 50 feet away from you, so we're going to have to do this the hard way. We'll go another 35 to here, and then I want to use doctor's visitation. I get out my little medic bag, kind of put it to the side, get my stethoscope on. Thanks, Doc, I'm feeling real bad. Tell me, Vina, on a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in? Eleven. Ah, they always say that. Anyway, fight on this, he gives you a stick. This is going to hurt. Oh, fuck. This is going to hurt a lot. I am going to then, I am now going to do risky surgery, which should auto-crit and stuff like that because I just have like a bad-ass thing with assurance and everything else. Let's see if he does it right. All right, so there's some technicality with this on how I'm doing this, so we have to go by the process, right? I first do four points of damage to you, so you will go down and be wounded one. So I hurt you to make you go unconscious. So now you'll be dying one, so now when I bring you back, you'll be wounded one, but you've been healed 48. He's got the defibrillator. Wait. Zorin. Yes. Hold on. I might be a genius. I might be a genius. Thurston. Oh, wait, she's done. She didn't die. Never mind. I'm not a genius. I'm stupid. No, I have that system. I can't game the system right now. Okay, so what I need you to do, Vina, put yourself at dying one. Yep. because you had three HP left and now I've fucked you up. Yeah, I'll click the damage button. Now bring yourself away from dying. I will hit the apply healing button. Yeah, apply healing and now you've been healed. Unfortunately, you're prone to everything now, but you're not going to die now. Vina is just face down on the ground, just gives him a thumbs up and thanks man. Now I'm sorry that was painful Miss Vina, but that's okay. Less painful than getting hit by a dragon. Usually when I apply the leeches, they have to kind of draw a little blood before they find like the messed up flesh and that dragon's messing us up. We definitely need to get out of town at this point. You can have this back. I hand the leech back to him. He puts it in a little pouch. Oh, little Gregory. So that's for that. Gorgalmonger is going to basically rush over here near to the hut and in my turn. Sorry about that. And there's blood everywhere on Ruhua. He's covered in it. I am covered in gore. That's his favorite way to be. It's true. That's actually true. It means there's fertile ground for things to grow. It's sometimes it's blood, sometimes it's dirt. It doesn't matter. Anarchy doesn't care. Yeah. Well, all of my other backup plans hinged upon me having the foresight to have not moved in my previous turn. So instead, I'll just move up here. Sorry, I don't want to move back. Oh, hold on. Do not expend my full movement. Vita, you're further away. Fuck, here's a second action heal. I'm going to target you. Thanks. Here you go. That's the best heal in the game. It's the best. That's the best heal in dual monsters. You're going to heal for 65. Yay. I will click the button. You're transgender. That's so cool. That's poggers. That's awesome, you. I think it was the end of your turn. That is. I'm doing shit and all right now. Now for the Dargon. Thanks, guys. Oh, he's going away. He's leaving. The dragon flies approximately 450 feet, putting it about 700 feet away from Tanhauser. He's outraged in you. Makes a lot of sense. Makes a lot of sense. Hold on a second. Oh, you fucked it up, but you also got fucked up. So how far out of range is it for me? It's currently now from you. I think you said 750. 50, yeah, so it's going to be, 50 plus 150, 200, 200 plus four, yeah, yeah, 700, yeah. 700, eh? And it is definitely continuing to fly the fuck away. For ease of reference for right now, it is going to hug the ground type of a thing and kind of just at that angle, it's just going to kind of fucking disappear from your line of sight. We are out of combat at this point. Almost got the bastard. I don't know. I don't know how close we were to getting them. Did you see that? Look at the blood. We almost had him and we'll get him. Most of that blood is ours, Tadhauser. Well, I don't tell the difference. Listen. It's a combination. So long as a creature like that is stalking the skies, this place will not be free. Now we know that there is a rot dragon in our midst. We will find this creature, track it to its lair, and see it destroyed once and for all. Orrin's father comes out. It's gone to abomination. What was that thing? You don't know? This is the first time you've seen it around these parts? the dragons in the mountains are rare, but never like that. Okay, I'm going to ask you a question that might give all of us a bit of a heart attack. Have you seen any of the other dragons in the mountains recently? Oh, man, you know, that's a great question and one that I think we will definitely get more into next time. Thank you so much, everybody. Watching this amazing episode of Rock Ryan, where we fight Dargon, get our butt kicked, but maybe next coming up episodes, we'll find out why it's here, what's going on, everything else, and try to see if we find any solutions to not fall 120 feet of fighting a dragon midair. Let's see what we can do. But, of course, we all have our amazing players. We got, it's Odo, and that's me, and it's Hokey, that's me, and speaker, and I'm Zoran, and we have our lovely game master Thurston. Thank you. Thank you all so much for watching. Please support the channel over at narrativedecloration.com where you can buy all sorts of awesome merch. Check us out on Patreon to get us awesome things and also see our upcoming Black Crusade campaign. You know, by the time you're listening to this, possibly in the far future, you're going to probably already check it out on YouTube or so at this point, but Patreon gets everything super duper early so you guys can enjoy that stuff. So with that, thank you guys all so very much for watching. We'll see you guys next time. Zoran, farewell, bye-bye. Everyone wants to F for Hoorah. Bye. Bye. Fuck you, fuck you. Everyone wants to F for Hoorah.