Latest / Inspirations for Your Life / Reinventing Without Apologizing (S5) S25:E4 Tuesday

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Reinventing Without Apologizing (S5) S25:E4 Tuesday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:25
Well, hello there, everyone.
0:27
It's great to be with you on Inspirations
0:28
for Your Life today.
0:30
Thanks so much for popping in.
0:31
If this is the very first time you're
0:33
here, I want to say welcome and I
0:35
want to say thank you.
0:37
If you've been here one time, five times,
0:39
10 times, or 100 times or more, I'd
0:41
like to say welcome, thank you, but also
0:43
the words welcome back.
0:44
I really do appreciate people that enjoy the
0:46
quality and content of my show and that
0:49
want to be here with me here today
0:50
and become better versions of themselves.
0:53
Don't forget, ladies and gentlemen, to check out
0:55
BelieveMeAchieved.com.
0:57
You can actually do that after the show
0:59
is over, not now, but once the show
1:01
is over, you can definitely check that out.
1:04
I think you will find lots of great
1:06
stuff.
1:07
And again, you can go over some of
1:09
these points because there are a lot of
1:11
them here.
1:11
We have a great master topic for the
1:13
week, and that's all about answering the call.
1:15
Without any further ado, let's kick the show
1:17
off.
1:17
But first, before I do that, if you're
1:18
thirsty, if you're hungry, feel free to grab
1:22
yourself something like our own water or something
1:24
like that, and yeah, we'll kick the show
1:28
off.
1:28
All right.
1:29
So again, welcome to answering the call.
1:32
And this is series five, show 25.
1:36
And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, in case you
1:38
were wondering, yes, we start on Saturday, so
1:40
one, two, three.
1:42
This is episode number four, where we are
1:47
all answering the call to evolve.
1:50
And today in episode four, I'm diving into
1:53
reinventing without apologizing, a conversation for anyone who
1:58
feels pulled to change but is tired of
2:01
shrinking to keep everyone else's comfortability.
2:05
Hey, ladies and gentlemen, I'm John C.
2:07
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
2:12
podcast host, coach, yes, keynote speaker, of course,
2:18
a passionate lifelong learner, a graduate student at
2:21
Montclair State University, and yes, I'm so grateful
2:24
to now be a published author.
2:26
Welcome.
2:27
And I created this show to help you
2:30
stop waiting for permission and start honoring the
2:33
person you are actually becoming.
2:36
I think a lot of people, you know,
2:37
they look for permission and then they feel
2:40
they're not getting it, but then they keep
2:42
waiting and then they don't do anything, and
2:44
it's a real problem.
2:45
So ladies and gentlemen, if you have ever
2:47
looked at your life and thought this used
2:50
to be fit for me, but it does
2:54
not fit anymore, yet you keep holding on
2:57
because, well, you feel what's different, what people
3:02
will say, then you're in exactly the right
3:06
place today.
3:06
And again, I know this is not an
3:08
easy thing for a lot of people, but
3:09
it's important that we take the time out.
3:13
Take a breath, ladies and gentlemen.
3:16
One, two, three, one, two, hold, okay, hold
3:20
for two and exhale for six.
3:24
You can do that three times.
3:25
Take a breath, settle in, and let's talk
3:27
about what it really looks like to reinvent
3:30
your life, your work, and your identity without
3:33
apologizing for outgrowing the version of you that
3:36
everyone else got so used to.
3:39
I think that's the reason maybe why you're
3:41
not doing this because everyone's used to it
3:43
and you figure, well, you know what?
3:44
I might as well just act that way
3:46
because that's the way everyone is right now,
3:48
all right?
3:49
So let's kick into those 30 points that
3:52
are going to hopefully change your life.
3:56
So I want to start by naming the
3:58
tension between who you used to be and
4:02
who you know you are becoming.
4:04
So listeners feel seen right away, okay?
4:07
That's number one.
4:09
Listeners always need to feel seen right away.
4:11
If they don't, then it's like they run
4:13
into this conundrum.
4:14
Number two, I call out the lie that
4:18
consistency means staying the same forever.
4:22
And when we think about that for just
4:25
a moment and we explain how that lie
4:28
quietly shames people for growing, and that's a
4:34
bad thing.
4:35
Don't make sure you never be shamed for
4:37
growing.
4:37
I think that's a horrible thing when people
4:39
get shamed for growing.
4:40
Number three, I reframe consistency as staying loyal
4:46
to your evolving truth rather than to an
4:48
outdated image that once felt safe and just
4:53
cling to because I think that's the only
4:55
thing I know.
4:56
Number four, guys, I reassure listeners that their
5:02
past choices were made with courage and the
5:06
information they had then and that those choices
5:10
do not cancel.
5:12
They're right to pivot now.
5:15
You can change, you can rewrite your story
5:16
anytime you want, but what you shouldn't do
5:18
is you shouldn't stay stuck.
5:20
Number five, guys, I explained that their past
5:23
was preparation, not a prison, and that every
5:27
season has trained them for this moment of
5:30
honest reflection.
5:31
And the question I want to ask you
5:34
today is, are you being honest with yourself
5:38
or are you just going through the motions
5:42
of life?
5:43
Number six, guys, I introduce the idea of
5:46
outgrowing roles, habits, and identities and normalize outgrowing
5:51
as a natural sign of growth, not a
5:53
moral failure.
5:54
I think that's another big issue that a
5:56
lot of people, they just don't quite get.
6:00
They don't understand what that means.
6:03
Number seven, guys, I remind them they can
6:07
honor and appreciate a past season while still
6:11
telling the truth that the season has become
6:13
too small for who they are now.
6:18
And so when we stay in, let's say,
6:22
a small little mini aquarium like, you know,
6:24
the fish do, when they stay in a
6:25
small aquarium and you keep them there, they
6:28
don't grow.
6:29
But when you put them in a big
6:30
aquarium, they grow, they grow a lot bigger.
6:34
And I don't just mean physically, I mean
6:37
in their lives how they're growing.
6:39
I think that's a very important thing is
6:43
to do it that way, is to understand
6:46
what that means and why that means.
6:49
I think that can help you if you
6:51
realize that.
6:52
Number eight, I name guilt as the first
6:56
emotion that usually services when they want more
6:59
than what others expect.
7:01
And I validate how heavy that guilt can
7:03
feel.
7:04
I know we've all had it and we
7:07
wonder what's going on, why things are happening.
7:10
And I think that's a very important thing
7:13
to understand.
7:18
I think that's a very important thing.
7:23
And I'll tell you that this is not
7:27
something that you're just going to like move
7:30
past.
7:31
All right.
7:32
And I say that to you because we
7:36
need to realize like what's going on before
7:40
we can even move to another angle, to
7:43
another place.
7:44
We need to understand that.
7:49
And that's a problem for a lot of
7:51
people, a problem that maybe you didn't think
7:56
was possible.
7:58
OK.
7:59
And that's something that I think a lot
8:02
of people just don't understand.
8:03
They don't know why it is a certain
8:05
way, but they just go a certain way.
8:13
Does that make sense to you?
8:18
I think sometimes when we understand something a
8:23
certain way, we get confused.
8:27
And when we understand a different way, we
8:29
change.
8:30
Number nine, I invite everyone to see guilt
8:33
as not proof, but people confuse that with
8:40
being wrong, but as a signal that they
8:42
care deeply about impact even while they're being
8:45
called higher.
8:50
Why they're being called higher.
8:53
I think that's an important thing to understand.
9:00
That's the only thing that I got out
9:08
of that when some people would think.
9:10
That's the only problem, right?
9:14
That's the only problem that I see.
9:17
And maybe it's a problem that you see
9:20
too, right?
9:22
Maybe it's a problem that you see too,
9:23
but maybe you're just afraid of where to
9:26
go or what to do.
9:29
I think that sometimes can be, you know,
9:32
that can be a problem, right?
9:38
It could be a problem, and that problem,
9:42
I feel, can sometimes take us to, well,
9:45
a new level, right?
9:47
It could take us to a new level,
9:48
a level that maybe a lot of people
9:51
don't see correctly.
9:59
And that's something I think a lot of
10:00
people don't really know.
10:02
They don't really know why, they don't know
10:04
how.
10:06
All they know is that this is what
10:08
they've got.
10:10
And by knowing what they've got, they sometimes
10:14
run into, well, a problem.
10:20
A problem that, I will tell you, is
10:24
not something people want to admit.
10:32
It's something that people think about day in
10:35
and day out.
10:42
Does that make sense?
10:47
I think sometimes people get this from a
10:49
certain way.
10:52
Number 10, I unpack how fear of judgment
10:56
from family, colleagues, communities, and audiences often matters
11:01
more to them than their own alignment.
11:06
I tell them directly that people will judge
11:08
them whether they stay the same or grow,
11:12
so they might as well be judged for
11:15
answering their call.
11:17
No one should be judged, ladies and gentlemen,
11:19
for answering their call.
11:20
You know, maybe you don't agree with something,
11:22
but I think it's important to understand, like,
11:26
you know, what that means.
11:28
I think it means a lot.
11:31
It means that your life goes one way,
11:38
okay?
11:39
And by going one way, I feel that
11:43
you can maybe understand, like, how things are
11:46
working a certain way or what things are
11:48
doing or what things aren't doing.
11:49
I think that's a very, very big problem
11:53
to see, that a lot of times people
11:57
just don't understand, like, you know, why something
12:00
is a certain way or why something isn't
12:02
a certain way.
12:03
I think that's probably one of the most
12:05
hardest things for people is that it is
12:11
that way, right?
12:15
It is that way.
12:18
And that's a way I think that a
12:20
lot of people, I guess they just don't
12:23
really understand it.
12:26
Not because they don't want to understand it.
12:30
It's because they're confused.
12:38
Because they're confused.
12:43
I think that's something that is hard for
12:47
a lot of people to grasp.
12:49
Number 12, introducing identity as a story instead
12:53
of a sentence and reminding people that, you
12:56
know, stories can be revised as they evolve,
12:59
okay?
12:59
It's not just a one-time thing.
13:02
You could keep redefining your life day in
13:06
and day out, okay?
13:08
I think that's an important piece.
13:13
Number 13, I give people permission to move
13:18
from I am this kind of person to
13:21
I am becoming this kind of person without
13:25
waiting for anyone's approval.
13:27
I think that's another thing that kind of
13:29
scares some people, that approval can be, well,
13:33
not exactly where you want it to be,
13:36
okay?
13:39
I think that's probably one of the most
13:42
important things that I can share with you
13:45
is just that whole concept that people have
13:51
to realize, you know, where they're coming from
13:53
before they can get somewhere.
13:56
Number 14, guys, I explained that self-permission
13:58
is the turning point where we can stop
14:01
asking others to authorize the life they already
14:05
know is right for them.
14:08
They're thinking it's okay if they make a
14:10
change or they do this or they do
14:12
that.
14:12
They're thinking about all those things.
14:15
But that's the point.
14:19
How do you go from A to Z?
14:22
How do you do it?
14:24
I think that becomes a very difficult thing
14:28
for a lot of people to realize is
14:31
how do you become difficult?
14:34
I think you get difficult because of what's
14:37
happening to you, all right?
14:40
And what happens to you is a direction
14:44
of your own thoughts.
14:48
And those thoughts turn into actions, don't they?
14:51
Number 15, I say clearly that no mentor,
14:55
parent, guardian, partner, audience, friend can give people
15:00
the permission they refuse to give themselves.
15:04
People might be scared about that, but it
15:07
is the truth, guys.
15:10
It's absolutely the truth.
15:13
And that truth, I think, can hurt a
15:16
lot of people because maybe that person keeps
15:21
them from being who they're really supposed to
15:23
be.
15:24
You know, people don't realize that a comment
15:27
from somebody else, you know, whether it was
15:29
innocent or not, can really make a big
15:32
difference on things.
15:35
It can really make a big, big difference
15:37
on things.
15:37
And I think that's a problem for, again,
15:41
a lot of people.
15:44
A lot of people to know that is
15:47
how it works, right?
15:49
To know that that's where things go.
15:54
I know that can be hard for a
15:55
lot of people, guys, but I want to
15:57
tell you it's absolutely the truth.
16:01
It's absolutely the truth.
16:04
The truth of who you are, the truth
16:06
of where you're going.
16:08
Some people don't want to admit the truth.
16:11
Number 16, guys, I guide people to identify
16:14
one specific area of life that obviously no
16:18
longer fits whether it's a job or relationship,
16:22
a habit, or a public role.
16:26
I ask them to describe what true alignment
16:32
would feel like in that area using words
16:36
like being energized, calm, honest, and fully expressed.
16:41
Most people don't think about these things.
16:43
They don't.
16:45
Number 18, guys, I introduce the idea of
16:49
being bold, moving this week, not next week,
16:53
and emphasizing to us that the courage will
16:55
grow from the actions rather than the endless
16:58
overthinking.
16:59
Our actions make our reality, okay?
17:02
And they come from our thoughts.
17:04
Number 19, I offer examples of one bold
17:08
move such as updating a title, starting a
17:13
new project, having a direct conversation, or quietly
17:16
releasing an outdated commitment.
17:20
You know, I address the habit of over
17:25
-explaining people's growth and show how constant justification
17:29
drains the energy needed to actually build the
17:32
next chapter of your life.
17:33
And you're like, I don't want to do
17:35
this.
17:35
This is too darn complicated, right?
17:37
I mean, I think that's a very big
17:40
problem for a lot of people.
17:43
They don't understand that.
17:57
They don't understand that.
18:02
I think that's a hard thing for a
18:04
lot of people to realize, that they don't
18:07
necessarily understand that, right?
18:12
I think that could be a big problem
18:13
for a lot of people when they think
18:16
about it, you know, where it's going and
18:18
stuff like that.
18:20
But it's important to understand that.
18:23
It's important to know that you can make
18:27
changes in your life, but you got to
18:29
first believe in yourself, don't you?
18:35
Number 21, guys, encourage people to let their
18:40
results, their peace, and their aliveness become the
18:45
explanation instead of the long debates with people
18:47
who may never fully understand.
18:51
Number 22, I share a brief thing about
18:55
my life and my style and the way
18:57
that I've gone about is not because of
19:00
someone else.
19:01
It's because of me.
19:03
It's because of what I've learned.
19:05
It's because of what I felt, not to
19:09
impress anybody, to achieve my goals, to feel
19:16
fulfilled, to not be misaligned, to have a
19:20
truer path.
19:22
But a lot of people get scared when
19:23
they can't find that true path.
19:26
And freeing that shift is a problem.
19:29
I emphasize this, number 23, and staying in
19:33
the wrong chapter just to keep others comfortable
19:36
slowly erodes self-trust over time and it
19:39
strips you from the confidence that you had.
19:44
And also puts a feeling of regret.
19:53
Number 24, explaining that aligning action, even when
19:58
imperfect, is how they begin to rebuild that
20:02
self-trust and feel like themselves again.
20:06
I think that's a hard one for a
20:08
lot of people to know.
20:10
Number 25, I reframe reinvention as becoming more
20:14
fully themselves rather than becoming someone fake or
20:19
abandoning who they used to be.
20:22
Number 26, I connect reinvention back to our
20:26
weekly master topics every day.
20:29
And that topic, guys, is what gets us
20:32
to understand this whole thing, which is in
20:34
answering the call.
20:37
The call to evolve.
20:39
And name it as one of the clearest
20:41
ways to answer the call.
20:42
And I think a lot of people, you
20:44
know, they get tired because they don't know
20:46
how to answer the call.
20:48
They don't know what to say.
20:49
They don't know what to do.
20:50
All they realize is it's a problem.
20:55
And they just don't know where to go.
21:07
That make sense?
21:08
Hopefully it does.
21:15
Hopefully that makes sense to you.
21:16
I don't know.
21:19
Maybe it could be a problem, right?
21:25
It could be.
21:28
Number 27, I challenge listeners to choose one
21:32
thing this week they're going to stop apologizing
21:36
for.
21:37
Changing and to treat that as a non
21:40
-negotiable commitment.
21:41
And that might be hard for a lot
21:42
of people here.
21:44
But I want to tell you that that's
21:46
the way it needs to be.
21:48
You've got to realize that your life is
21:50
non-negotiable.
21:51
The sooner you understand your life is non
21:53
-negotiable, the sooner you're maybe going to realize
21:58
that you're meant for bigger things.
22:02
Okay?
22:04
And by being meant for bigger things, that
22:07
means your goals can change.
22:10
Your aspirations can expand.
22:12
Expand.
22:14
But I'm not going to tell you it's
22:15
going to be easy because it never is.
22:18
You have to practice getting comfortable being uncomfortable.
22:21
That's something I say all the time.
22:24
Got to say that all the time, day
22:26
in and day out.
22:28
And when you understand that that's how life
22:30
works, you're like, oh my gosh, I actually
22:33
get this.
22:35
I actually get it.
22:37
Right?
22:38
I get it.
22:43
And it's like a power people have.
22:49
And that power is usually supposed to push
22:54
people forward.
22:55
But sometimes that power stifles people.
23:00
It cuts off the energy supply.
23:02
How does it happen?
23:04
Burnout.
23:07
Number 20, guys.
23:12
I invite people to share one shift with
23:18
me or someone else they trust so their
23:22
evolution has language and community around it.
23:27
And I think a lot of people just
23:28
don't get this point.
23:30
Why?
23:32
It's because they're still living someone else's life.
23:35
Could be they're sitting in other, could be
23:37
their parents.
23:41
I know a long time ago, I always
23:44
felt that I had to live my parents'
23:45
life all the time.
23:45
But then I said to myself, it's not
23:48
selfish to want to live my own life.
23:55
You're here because you have your own dreams.
23:58
Your own thoughts, your own will.
24:00
We have free will, right?
24:02
But you're here to live and experience that.
24:05
Life is all about experiencing things.
24:07
That's what it's about, guys.
24:11
Number 29.
24:14
You know, past was preparation for the present.
24:22
Your past was preparation for the present.
24:25
And it's helping you come to a decision
24:27
point in your life.
24:28
And the future is shaped by whether you're
24:31
going to answer this call to reinvent.
24:34
Again, I'm not going to tell you that
24:36
it is going to be easy because it's
24:38
not going to be easy.
24:39
I will tell you that right up front.
24:42
If you think it's going to be easy,
24:43
then I think you should just like stop
24:45
right now.
24:46
You've got to realize that, all right?
24:49
You've got to realize what that's about.
24:54
And when you realize it, then you'll note
24:59
that things are different in your life.
25:01
You'll notice they're different because you're different.
25:05
And that difference that you're feeling is something
25:09
a lot of people don't connect with.
25:14
Maybe once, maybe never in their lives.
25:16
So I want to tell you that life
25:18
is about you.
25:21
It's about your thoughts, your will, okay?
25:24
It's not about just someone else.
25:27
I mean, yes, you want to be kind
25:28
to other people, but it's not about living
25:31
someone else's life.
25:32
Making someone happy, being kind to someone, that
25:36
doesn't mean living their life.
25:39
You're living your own life.
25:42
And I think the sooner that you realize
25:44
that, the sooner that you're going to hopefully
25:47
get out of burnout.
25:50
Living someone else's life might seem like the
25:52
right thing to do because you're trying to
25:54
be kind and compassionate.
25:55
The truth of matter is, you're not being
25:57
kind and compassionate.
25:59
You're being abusive to yourself.
26:05
And we talked about this whole week about
26:06
answering the call.
26:08
So I invite you to see yourselves and
26:12
others already in motion, already evolving, and ready
26:19
to walk out with what you need.
26:22
Because that's the key, understanding things, deciphering things,
26:32
really making the choices because of you, not
26:36
because of someone else.
26:37
There's so many times in life that you
26:39
don't do something, maybe when you're younger, because
26:40
you were told don't do that.
26:42
Now you're older, and now you need to
26:44
make decisions on your own, you know?
26:50
People are not your keeper.
26:53
You've got to make the decisions.
26:55
And if you make a mistake, you've got
26:57
to learn from those mistakes.
26:59
I'll tell you something.
27:01
You make a mistake, you're probably never going
27:03
to make that mistake again.
27:04
So I want you to pick something from
27:06
tonight's episode before we walk out tonight.
27:10
And act like the next version of you
27:13
has already begun.
27:15
Because if you believe that, then it has.
27:19
As we land for today, I want you
27:23
to remember that reinventing without apologizing is not
27:28
about disrespecting where you came from.
27:31
It is instead about honoring where you were
27:35
called to go next.
27:37
You are allowed to outgrow roles, expectations, and
27:41
identities that once fit, and you are allowed
27:44
to build a life that matches who you
27:47
actually are.
27:48
Instead of who everyone else remembers.
27:53
If today's episode resonated with you, please take
27:57
a moment to choose that one bold move
27:59
and commit to it.
28:01
And if you know someone who's clearly outgrowing
28:03
their current chapter, but still feels guilty for
28:06
wanting more, share this episode with them.
28:10
Check out BelieveMeAchieve.com.
28:11
We'll catch you real soon, everyone.
28:12
Be well.
55:00
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm