Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / The MULTI-PASSIONATE REVOLUTION: How to LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE without limits | Sabi Kerr

Transcript

The MULTI-PASSIONATE REVOLUTION: How to LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE without limits | Sabi Kerr · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

• 0:00
  The next question I'd love to ask you
• 0:04
  is about some of the challenges that the multi-passionate faces and also the shadows of, you know, because everything has gifts and shadows.
• 0:11
  So I'm so curious what comes up for you.
• 0:13
  Yeah, I will say I feel like I've been speaking about this path very positively and passionately because I am passionate about it.
• 0:20
  Really passionate.
• 0:21
  And this is not the easy path, guys.
• 0:24
  This is not the easy path.
• 0:25
  This is not the easy path.
• 0:28
  It's not for everyone.
• 0:31
  It's the courageous path for sure.
• 0:35
  um some of the challenges the juggle is real the juggle is real you know i'm putting that on a t-shirt that's brilliant we are only one human with 24 hours in a day we need to sleep for eight hours and have our self-care time and time with our friends and our families you know
• 0:54
  And so we have a certain number of hours in the day.
• 0:58
  And so just that awareness of I do have a limited time and there are more things I actually want to do and create than maybe, you know, the next person.
• 1:10
  And so that awareness of that can sometimes feel really, really challenging.
• 1:14
  I would say, I think there's been acceptance for me from this next point.
• 1:19
  Mastery can take a bit longer, you know, because I mean, what do they say?
• 1:22
  Is it 10,000 hours they say it takes to become an expert?
• 1:26
  So it's probably going to take you longer.
• 1:29
  longer to become an expert in each of your threads or each of your skills.
• 1:33
  For me, I'm okay with that.
• 1:34
  You know, I'm like, all right, I've got my lifetime and I'll do what I can in this lifetime with the time that I have.
• 1:42
  And that's okay, you know.
• 1:44
  And I've also found that the beautiful thing is, I know we're challenges, I'm coming back to the positives, but the, um,
• 1:54
  A good thing is that once you've been in one, for example, teaching yoga and coaching, I've been doing for a long, long time now.
• 2:01
  So I do feel quite masterful in those areas.
• 2:04
  So they don't take as much time and capacity now because they're just in me.
• 2:09
  They flow through me, whereas things that are newer, newer skills that I might begin to take a lot more time and energy.
• 2:15
  Right.
• 2:16
  And so they might require a bit more energy output.
• 2:19
  And so it's just that navigation of all of the different things that you do.
• 2:23
  can can be a challenge um what else I sometimes question like imagine if I only did one thing what if I was just a yoga teacher or just you know just just a coach or not even just a coach just a coach that specialized in one area because even within my coaching you know I I'm quite multifaceted and
• 2:45
  um what if I only did this one thing maybe I'd be really seen as an expert maybe I'd be have a much bigger audience maybe I'd make a lot more money um maybe I'd have more time to pour into content and all of this so that can sometimes feel like a challenge but I then do step back and ask myself
• 3:08
  Savvy, would you actually be happy if you poured all your time and energy into this one thing so you could make more money and be seen as an expert and be more successful?
• 3:18
  But is it true success if it comes at the cost of who I really am?
• 3:23
  Probably not, you know, probably not.
• 3:28
  But the challenge is you are continuously met, even if someone like me who is so proud of being a multi-passionate, I'm not immune from like sitting with the very real thoughts of...
• 3:41
  I might make more money if I only did this one thing, or I might have a bigger audience if I only talked about this type of thing and content.
• 3:49
  Like, I don't know.
• 3:50
  Also, maybe I wouldn't, but those thoughts are there.
• 3:53
  Thank you for explaining that.
• 3:55
  That really resonates.
• 3:56
  I feel we all have these, these fears.
• 3:58
  And I love that the,
• 4:00
  challenges did bring you back to the beauties because it is a polarity.
• 4:02
  It is a dance.
• 4:04
  And for naming so clearly like some of those thoughts of what if I'd be more successful?
• 4:08
  What if I'd make more money?
• 4:09
  What if it would just be a simpler life?
• 4:12
  But then the truth, it wouldn't be my life.
• 4:14
  It wouldn't make me feel lit up and happy and fulfilled.
• 4:18
  And I think that is the ultimate gift.
• 4:20
  And it also ties to your self-love work, which I'm excited to get into because in loving ourselves, we can't accept that we just...
• 4:27
  dim our light just to make more money or make you know what I mean so totally and this path is such a self-love path that's why yeah my self-love coaching work is so intertwined with supporting multi-passionates because it really is about choosing yourself and coming back to your own authentic light over who the world tells you to be or what's expected of you um
• 4:53
  Because sure, you know, most business advice say pick a niche, really niche down, become known for that one thing.
• 5:00
  And it might work.
• 5:03
  You know, it can be a good business strategy if your focus is...
• 5:10
  monetary values and you know numbers like it might work but just because it works in that way does that mean it's right for you if it comes at the cost of who you really are you know and so I really love people to revisit what's your definition of success of course we all want to make a lot of money and be seen and known for the things that we do right so that gets to be part of
• 5:40
  alongside really embracing who you are.
• 5:43
  And so it feels like this dance of desiring those things, but also wanting to uphold these other things, which are sometimes a little unconventional.
• 5:53
  Yes, yes.
• 5:55
  That is such being in reverence to yourself and holding yourself with so much love is...
• 6:02
  this beautiful like integration and acceptance of all of these parts of ourselves and allowing them space and also what you said about defining what success means to you versus am I using a social definition my mom's definition my you know so many things imposed on me versus what is a truly meaningful successful life to me and then I also want to loop back to what you were saying about
• 6:24
  the different projects and different passions, sort of being at different stages.
• 6:28
  It gave me this image of like being a mother and like, you know, you're a toddler requires more energy and like sleepless nights, but you have some, your yoga and things you've been doing for years that you said you just channeled through naturally.
• 6:40
  They're in you.
• 6:40
  And it's like, maybe they're in their early twenties or they're a teenager.
• 6:44
  You know, they, they don't ask as much of like your physical time and attention in the same way.
• 6:50
  And I love that we're like able to mother these different and parent these different parts of ourselves and then trust that different ones will need different forms of care at different times.
• 6:59
  Because I've often used that when I feel like, do I get to have both?
• 7:02
  And I'm like, yeah, but parents have multiple children and they do their best to show up for the specific needs of that child.
• 7:09
  And they don't think like, oh, well, you know, of course, having the one child, you'd be able to pull.
• 7:13
  But there is a magic to having children.
• 7:16
  Yeah.
• 7:16
  And then you maybe also have a dog and, you know, there's and you care for different things and you nurture them and you trust that showing up imperfectly is part of the magic of being a human, a human being.
• 7:27
  So and some of your.
• 7:32
  your skills and your gifts get to be at different places.
• 7:35
  Some of them can be at like maintenance stage.
• 7:38
  Some of them might be at growth stage.
• 7:43
  So they're going to require different amounts of energy and that can be really supportive to know.
• 7:50
  It can be hard to move forwards if as a multi-passionate, you are completely starting five new things at once.
• 8:00
  Yes.
• 8:01
  Right?
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  And you're like, why is nothing happening?
• 8:04
  Why am I not going anywhere?
• 8:05
  And it's because at the start of any journey, that requires so much more energy, so much more focus, so much more time.
• 8:13
  And so I'm not saying you can't do all of those things, but let's be smart about it.
• 8:19
  with one human with a set amount of time let's be smart about it and what things you really want to lock in first and so maybe portion most of your time and energy for those and the other things can tick over along the side you still do them because you love them and you enjoy them and but you might not pour all of your energy into them and then when the one or two things are starting to flourish a bit more whatever that looks like for whatever it is that you're doing and then
• 8:46
  once they're doing well or you're feeling quite good with them or it's starting to feel more natural they're going to take a bit less energy you know it's just like for example starting a podcast right at the start oh there's so much so much to figure out the tech and the getting people to know about it and like interviewing people and it takes a lot of the start and then once you've done it
• 9:10
  for six months, a year, two years, you're like, okay, we know how to do this now.
• 9:14
  I can now launch my music out into the world.
• 9:17
  You know, that's what I would suggest anyone do that's in this space of like, I'm a multi-passionate and I just can't get anything done.
• 9:29
  Oh, you are speaking to us.
• 9:32
  You are speaking to us.
• 9:33
  Oh my goodness.
• 9:34
  Yes.
• 9:35
  What you said about starting
• 9:38
  Sahara Rose, do you know her?
• 9:39
  Oh, I love her so much.
• 9:41
  And she would always say, or she used to say a lot like that you don't give birth to like multiple babies at once, so it's like the birthing process does require sometimes, just like as you said, being smart about how your energy is because you know, the start of something exactly, starting a podcast, starting something.
• 9:56
  But then it's like, this is so normal to me.
• 9:58
  It's just even when I was getting ready today, I was like, you know, I used to feel so, and I'm actually very much in the beginning of this interviewing journey,
• 10:05
  But at least not on the number one.
• 10:08
  I think maybe this is like 10th or something.
• 10:10
  And I was like, oh, wow, I used to feel like so stressed and so like this.
• 10:13
  And I was like, wow, like this is more sort of inflow versus like starting something new.
• 10:19
  And that feels really rewarding.
• 10:21
  And that is creating space to then pour into the music.
• 10:23
  And even creating the first song, I'm like, this will feel like, oh, my word, the song.
• 10:28
  And then eventually it will be normal to you.
• 10:29
  You'll just make music.
• 10:30
  So thank you for sharing that.
• 10:32
  It's so beautiful.
• 10:33
  And then you did share something that I think isn't discussed enough.
• 10:36
  You said, I have had to accept that mastery will take longer, but I'm okay with that.
• 10:41
  That's so beautiful because I think some people try to either go one way or the other.
• 10:45
  Either they'll say the only way to be a master is to focus on one thing, which isn't true.
• 10:50
  Or they'll say...
• 10:51
  you can be a master at everything now, you know?
• 10:54
  So it's like, it's interesting because I do feel on the one hand that multi-passionate creatives do have quite a gift for being able to pick up things quicker.
• 11:08
  So maybe mastery does come a bit quicker for us than the average human.
• 11:14
  I don't think there's any such thing as an average human.
• 11:16
  I think every human is perfectly capable of incredible creativity.
• 11:20
  I think it's in absolutely everyone.
• 11:21
  But for those of us that embrace it, I would say, yeah, I feel like we do have a gift of learning things quite quickly, which is really powerful.
• 11:34
  So it's not that we're not able to reach that level of mastery and it might take us a bit quicker, but...
• 11:40
  um but if there are multiple things that we're doing we don't have the same amount of time as someone that you know if I think about DJing um that's all that they're doing and they really lock in on that skill and they practice every single day and they're booking gigs all of the time and they're able to record mixes all of the time and like of course they're going to get better
• 12:10
  And so I sometimes grapple with that.
• 12:13
  And I'm like, and it's OK, you know, and it's OK.
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  There isn't actually a rush.
• 12:19
  I will get there when I get there.
• 12:21
  I'm really enjoying the journey and I'm enjoying the process.
• 12:24
  And maybe I'm able to offer the craft some things that that person spending five hours a day locked in just on their DJ transitions.
• 12:33
  They might not have access to other things I'm able to bring DJing because of my other skills, you know, and so I'm aware of that as well.
• 12:40
  Hmm, that's so real.
• 12:41
  Because also I'm thinking that part of your DJ set, maybe you start introducing yourself and then you share something that drops in.
• 12:48
  And that is part of what someone takes from your set is your ability to speak and ability, you know, your multiple ways that you bring things together, that that locked in person, maybe, you know, it's like what we receive from something isn't always what the artist intends.
• 13:01
  Sometimes it's actually like you go to a concert and then it's like,
• 13:04
  what someone says in the first line is like the most magical thing you've ever heard.
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  And that's what you take from the concert.
• 13:10
  So yeah, that's beautiful.
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  There's always going to be things we can bring.
• 13:14
  And then what you said about our gift to pick things up quickly, that's so powerful.
• 13:17
  That's so true.
• 13:18
  And I actually haven't heard that be named before because it is really true.
• 13:22
  And what came through as you were saying, that is like we're so in touch with a natural flow within ourselves that there's already a momentum that's been building towards that craft and,
• 13:30
  Like, for example, my best friend who is here, who's incredible, just did a comedy class.
• 13:35
  And he is so naturally like he's so good at comedy, but also because he's a writer, he's a speaker, he's hilarious.
• 13:41
  And he's been writing comedy in his spare time just on his voice note app.
• 13:44
  So there was a momentum.
• 13:46
  He was in an intro class.
• 13:47
  But like that passion was there all along and he had been tending to it.
• 13:50
  And so he just came out like this blossoming where other people might be a seed.
• 13:54
  And he's like blossomed.
• 13:56
  This actually makes me think of what I said earlier, that all of our creative skills are linked and one thing helps another.
• 14:02
  You know, they say that if you learn one language, it's going to be easier to learn the second language.
• 14:07
  If you know, if you learn two languages, it's going to be much easier to learn the third.
• 14:11
  You already have the processes in place.
• 14:13
  You know how to learn the language.
• 14:14
  You know, you have an understanding of grammar.
• 14:17
  You know the process and you know what it takes.
• 14:20
  And so when you pick up the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth thing, that learning process is going to become a lot quicker, actually.
• 14:27
  And I feel like it's exactly the same with our creative gifts and with what we're sharing in the world.
• 14:32
  Yeah.
• 14:33
  And so whatever you're doing now is probably going to support you with learning the next thing, which is pretty cool.
• 14:40
  pretty damn cool that's amazing it's so cool yes i love it and the underlying skill is creating how do you go from something not existing to existing once you're in touch with that flow you can start anything like i know that like as artists as creatives as like whether it's a business whether it's a song whether it's like if you're in touch with like like i know on one of your podcast episodes you were talking about the creative act the book which i love um and like that
• 15:08
  language of creativity if you speak it you could speak it anywhere you know and you can learn how to speak like oh okay I see this I see that so I think that's so brilliant that's so true I think the language analogy is so poignant it's like yes exactly learning the second language of course is going to be so much easier than the first language you've ever learned or the third or the fourth or fifth that's so powerful yeah
• 15:30
  Yeah.
• 15:31
  I wish more people, well, this is why we're doing this podcast, right?
• 15:34
  I wish more people could like really embrace that because it's such a, what a gift, what an asset when you start to own this and when you start to see the benefits, like you're no longer feeling ashamed or a disadvantage because you like all of these things.
• 15:50
  You actually see that they really complement your life and make your life rich and alive and support you.
• 15:56
  Yes, rich and alive.
• 15:58
  Absolutely.
• 15:58
  Oh my goodness.
• 15:59
  Yes.
• 15:59
  Um, so just now we were talking about mastery and slowness and acceptance.
• 16:04
  What would you say to someone who is more in that mindset where they're very ambitious at their multiple crafts and they struggle with the idea that it will take them, it could take them longer by pursuing multiple things.
• 16:18
  I can sometimes slip into this where I feel like there's multi-passionates who, um, I
• 16:22
  want to explore openly, like there's the archetype where they're like not really trying to get somewhere.
• 16:26
  They're just trying to be in touch with the process.
• 16:28
  Then you do have multi-passionates who are very ambitious.
• 16:31
  I would say I'm like that, where I'm like, anything I do, I want to try and do at the highest level.
• 16:35
  I mean, is it a flaw?
• 16:36
  Is it a strength, whatever?
• 16:37
  But I'm like, no, no, I need to see where this could go.
• 16:39
  And so sometimes I'm like, but if I just went all in on this and it's that masculine and voice of like society and, you know, but what would you say to someone who's maybe
• 16:50
  not come to the place where you have, where you're like, I accept that in some ways, if I'm not DJing all hours of the day, of course, you know, who hasn't reached that place?
• 17:00
  Yeah, a couple of things, actually.
• 17:04
  On the one hand...
• 17:06
  If you do, what can be quite powerful?
• 17:08
  If you do want to be like, I just, I'm really ambitious.
• 17:12
  I want to know what would happen if I go all in.
• 17:14
  One way you could do it as a multi-passionate is give yourself like a pocket of time without abandoning everything else that you do.
• 17:20
  You might be like...
• 17:22
  for two months or for the next month, I'm actually going to really focus on my music.
• 17:28
  And then after that month or two, I'll come back to doing it alongside my podcast and my other work.
• 17:35
  And that might be a way that you can really have this concentrated amount of time where you pour completely into this thing while not abandoning the other thing.
• 17:43
  And actually we can get a hell of a lot done in a month if we focus all of our energy into it.
• 17:48
  Sometimes even more,
• 17:50
  in that one month than in a year.
• 17:52
  If in a year we're like, oh, I'm just going to focus on my music for a year, but it's such a long amount of time that you're a bit like wishy-washy.
• 18:00
  And like, whereas if it's a short channeled amount of time, you can get so much done.
• 18:05
  So I maybe suggest if you're multi-passionate and you don't want to give up your other avenues, maybe look at exploring that way of working.
• 18:12
  I'm...
• 18:15
  taking some time off this summer from like work just to pour into my creativity to go to loads of dance classes to DJ to practice to just be in my like own creative essence and energy so that I can fill up that part of me so that I'm really excited about that so that's one thing that you know you could explore and on the other side
• 18:36
  I would say some of the mindset and inner exploration.
• 18:41
  What is your attachment to needing it right now?
• 18:43
  Oh, speak on it, girl.
• 18:46
  Say it.
• 18:47
  Where is it going to go?
• 18:49
  Like if it doesn't happen in the next month or two, like, can you give it grace and space and time to blossom as it's meant to blossom?
• 18:56
  You know, some of the most incredible artists, their journey has taken so much time, you know?
• 19:02
  And we,
• 19:07
  all of a sudden they're like blowing up and they're winning Grammys and who was it recently?
• 19:14
  Kalani or someone.
• 19:14
  And she's been like, you know, she's been at it for 10, 20 years.
• 19:19
  We didn't know about her then.
• 19:20
  We had no clue who she was, but she was doing it.
• 19:24
  And over that long process, all of a sudden, she starts to become known.
• 19:31
  Imagine if she'd rushed that process, what she would have missed along the way.
• 19:35
  Ooh, that's just a parable.
• 19:37
  Imagine if she'd rushed that process.
• 19:39
  I want to read that story.
• 19:40
  Yes, yes, yes, yes.
• 19:41
  Right?
• 19:42
  If she'd rushed that process, she wouldn't have lived fully.
• 19:45
  We probably, to receive her music the way that we're receiving it now, she needed to go through what she went through.
• 19:50
  She needed to live her life the way that she did.
• 19:54
  She needed to have the failures and the setbacks and the time.
• 19:58
  Like that essence of like, huh.
• 20:01
  this is taking a while but I'm dedicated to it and I love the art and I love the craft that's what ends up creating the beautiful art not the rush and the force and I need this to happen right now yes oh that was so powerful yes exactly
• 20:16
  Oh, my word.
• 20:16
  Imagine if she hadn't taken her time.
• 20:18
  Yes.
• 20:19
  And the richness and resonance of the music now has been shaped by that slow devotion to something.
• 20:26
  And I also adore this invitation to like sit with that inner work of what within me needs this to happen now.
• 20:34
  What is the attachment like you mentioned to.
• 20:37
  And I love this because I think we are we're given a lot of case studies of people who do go all in.
• 20:43
  But it's not the whole story.
• 20:44
  There's many people I'm reading this autobiography of Nina Simone.
• 20:48
  And she started as a pianist.
• 20:49
  She didn't even have any intention to sing.
• 20:51
  She was so devoted to piano.
• 20:53
  I mean, I think she was more in that like specialist sort of she was really, really obsessed with the piano.
• 20:59
  Would practice like five to seven hours a day sometimes.
• 21:02
  Um, but then started singing more so because the environment that she was performing in, the performers in these like, you know, I don't know if you would call them like jazz clubs or what they would be.
• 21:12
  Um, they...
• 21:15
  preferred and would patronize more so.
• 21:19
  So they basically like were seeking more singers.
• 21:21
  So she started singing more so because that's what the crowd wanted her to do.
• 21:26
  Not because she like had this passion for singing.
• 21:28
  So, and then look at what we have now from her music.
• 21:32
  I think it's I'd love to see like a case study of just how many multi-passion, I mean, like Janelle Monáe and they have their acting and their music and fashion and like seeing these people really bring to life these multiple textures of who they are is really powerful.
• 21:45
  So thank you for taking us there.
• 21:47
  And I want to sit with that question because I sometimes get attached to like, but.
• 21:50
  where could this be in a year if you just and it's like and then also the invitation for like the month or the two months to focus I think that's really beautiful so you're giving us both the like wisdom and then the tactical sort of advice that's really helpful for anyone listening and also another reminder is I mean it's like anything
• 22:12
  Yes, have the goals and the ambition and make create the plan and then do as much as you can, you know, but really enjoy the process.
• 22:23
  Really let yourself once you know you have a plan and you're taking the steps, then let yourself enjoy the process of getting there, because if your sole focus is I need to be here.
• 22:33
  with my work, with my art, with my business, with whatever it is, you're going to get there and you're probably then going to be on to the next goal straight away.
• 22:42
  Right.
• 22:42
  Because you were taken right out of the journey.
• 22:46
  Such an important reminder for all of us.
• 22:48
  Yes, absolutely.
• 22:49
  I feel like also when you have a craft that doesn't end, like, for example, something I really love about podcasting is there's not an end point.
• 22:56
  Even the top podcast is what do they do?
• 22:58
  They release an episode each week.
• 22:59
  So it's a process.
• 23:00
  It's a devotion.
• 23:01
  It's a craft.
• 23:02
  And so there's no ending.
• 23:04
  There's just like you can choose to end it.
• 23:05
  That's beautiful.
• 23:06
  And I'd actually love to hear your thoughts on how multi-passionates have the gift of moving on.
• 23:12
  That's a question I have.
• 23:13
  That's good, actually.
• 23:16
  The gift of moving on, how to know when something has served its time.
• 23:19
  Yeah.
• 23:20
  I will say that the beautiful thing about life, especially when it's, you know, our passions and our gifts and our skills, is we might close something and then realize later that we want to come back to it.
• 23:31
  Period.
• 23:32
  Yes.
• 23:32
  So nothing has to be closed forever.
• 23:34
  Yes.
• 23:36
  I think you will know, for me it's like a feeling of when something has served its time.
• 23:48
  I didn't even mention this in my story.
• 23:51
  It was somewhere in between primary school teaching and starting to teach yoga.
• 23:57
  I had this dance events business where I would...
• 24:03
  run these kids parties, hen parties, do wedding dance lessons alongside my school teaching.
• 24:11
  So it was, yeah, using dance as like a celebration.
• 24:15
  So people would book me for these parties at the weekend.
• 24:21
  So I was doing this in between my full time school teaching.
• 24:24
  And I loved it.
• 24:25
  I loved that I was able to...
• 24:27
  share dance with people I love that I had like a little business I love that I was getting booked it felt really fun and I felt really fulfilled um and it also I it was my first taste of like setting up a business and like getting booked for things something that I created just myself you know seeing my
• 24:49
  creation go from zero to something felt so powerful.
• 24:53
  I remember I stayed up like all night to build this website.
• 24:57
  I would leaflet and I would flyer.
• 25:00
  And so that felt really beautiful for me, starting something and then it turning into something.
• 25:06
  And I loved it for a little while.
• 25:08
  And then it got to the point where it wasn't bringing me the same.
• 25:16
  I didn't.
• 25:18
  not like it um but my soul was really I think wanting to teach yoga more and explore that path more and the yoga the the dance parties business um
• 25:33
  I, yeah, I didn't have the same zest for it anymore.
• 25:36
  It felt like it served the purpose at the time, you know.
• 25:42
  It taught me how to set up a little business.
• 25:45
  It gave me a lot of incredible skills.
• 25:48
  It gave me the mindset of like, I can start something and it can work and I can make money from putting my gifts out into the world and random strangers will book me for things.
• 25:58
  That was amazing.
• 25:58
  Yeah.
• 26:00
  But then I just really felt this internal pull to begin to put my energy into something else.
• 26:06
  Beautiful thing is I could go back and do that at any time.
• 26:09
  Right.
• 26:09
  At any time.
• 26:10
  So it's not like it doesn't have to be over forever, but you will feel when you're called in another direction.
• 26:18
  Yes.
• 26:19
  Oh, wow.
• 26:19
  Wow.