Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 361. A Winning Playbook: Elle Duncan On How To Design Your Dream Life, Stand In Your Power & Catch A Vibe

Transcript

361. A Winning Playbook: Elle Duncan On How To Design Your Dream Life, Stand In Your Power & Catch A Vibe · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I hope that if nothing else, I empower women to
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: be themselves, to speak their mind, to say how they feel,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: and to be completely unafraid of what happens after that.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: What's going on?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Everyone, Emily A Badi Here, You are listening to another
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: episode of Hurdle, a wellness focus podcast where I talk
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: to inspirational people about everything from their highest ties and
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: toughest moments to essential tips on how to live a healthier, happier,
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: more motivated life. We all go through our fair share
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: of hurdles. My goal through these discussions is to empower
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: you to better navigate yours and move with intention so
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: that you can stride towards your own big potential and
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: of course have some fun along the way. I am
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: related to bring you my conversation today for episode three.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Sixty one with the one the Only Elle Duncan.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: She is a sportscaster hosting SportsCenter five days.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: A week at six pm.
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  Speaker 3: She's also an advocate for women in sports and famously
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: known for her podcast, The l Duncan Show, which has
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: sadly come to an end, only for the exciting new
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: launch of the woman led sports show Vibe Check, coming
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: to your TVs on June thirtieth on Disney Plus Now.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: We chat all about vibe check and what we can
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: expect from that, but really dive into Elle's trajectory to
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: exactly how she landed where she is today the dream
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: job that she's had ever since she.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Was a little girl at twelve years old.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I appreciate her vulnerability sharing the low lows and the
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: high highs of that journey, offering up stories like what
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: it was like to get let go for the first time,
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: and also how it felt to be on air after
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Kobe's passing in the special moment she shared with her viewers.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Elle's honesty in this episode is unrivaled. She has worked
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: so hard to be where she is today and offers
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: up so much great advice and takeaways on not only
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: how to design the life that you dream of, but
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: also how to stay true to yourself along the way.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: This is an episode that I know I'm going to
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: revisit time and time again. Make sure if you love
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: what you're listening to share it with a friend. Tag
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: us on Instagram. We're over on social at Hurdle Podcast.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: I'm over at Emily Abadi And you know the drill.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: If you're not yet subscribed to the weekly Hurdle newsletter.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: So much of the same inspiration and motivation you love
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: from the show up plus what's going on in my life,
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: things that I'm loving, my gear picks, what I'm listening to,
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: reading highlights from the week, all of that every Friday,
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: absolutely free, directly in your inbox. The link to subscribe
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: is in the show notes. With that, let's get to it.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Let's get it's a hurdling.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Today, I am.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Sitting down with Elle Duncan. She is an anchor for
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Sports Center. She's that girl when it comes to sports.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: Elle Duncan, Welcome to Hurdle me, Emily, thanks so much.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: For having me super pumped. Pardon the hotel room in
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: the background. But you know, we're just making it worse.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: You're making it work because you're doing it all. How
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: are you doing, really, Elle?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I survive in advance mode right now. I gotta
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: be honest. It's one of those situations where I do
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: a lot of therapy, which is great, which helps me
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: in these moments when I'm feeling really anxious and a
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: bit overwhelmed, and so I'm just taking it day by day.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: This morning, I needed a walk so I got to
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: walk in and probably put off a few things that
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I should have handled and addressed. And now I'm going
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: to be playing hurry up and catch up the rest
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: of the day. But it's what I needed. So I'm
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I'm doing okay, But ask me tomorrow.
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  Speaker 2: You know, survive in advance.
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  Speaker 3: I appreciate that, and I also think that it probably
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: took you a minute to get to a point where
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: you understood how to survive and advance.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: Talk to me a little bit about that. How did
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: you figure.
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  Speaker 3: Out what works for you when you are feeling all
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: sorts of overwhelmed and doing twenty two thousand things at once.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I discovered very quickly that just having a
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: meltdown and crying in my car was not working. So
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: a few things therapy and then also giving myself a
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: lot of grace. And I know that's one of those
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: sort of like catchphrases that we use a lot. It's
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: probably overused. I used to enroll whenever someone would be like,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: give yourself some grace. Feels like a catch all excuse,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: but it's really helped me a lot in that I
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: have to just forgive myself, you know, I have to
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: forgive myself that, you know, I was not at swim
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: lessons today to watch my son take us first swim
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  Speaker 1: strokes before that might have sent me in a downward spiral.
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  Speaker 1: What I would be watching old videos and feeling like
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: a horrible mom. I have to give myself a lot
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: of grace when, like I said, I prioritize something like
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: taking a walk, which on the surface feels selfish. That's
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: not something that I've handled well, feeling selfish, feeling like
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I'm doing something for me, especially if it's at the
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: detriment of other people and other things. But I've had
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: to learn to just sort of reassess. I ask myself
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: questions every morning, you know, what do you need? What
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: do you need? Not what does everybody else need? But
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: what do you need? And if what you need that
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: day is to blow everybody off and go play pickleball
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  Speaker 1: with your kids, cool, But if what you need that
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: day is to look at your kids and go, mommy
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: can't do it. She needs to go work out, or
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: she needs to just go sit and read a book,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: then that's okay too. And just forgiving myself, like recognizing
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: that we're all trying to do our best. None of
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: us are getting out of this thing alive, and so
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: in the meantime, all we can do every day is
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: show up in the best way that we can process
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: where we could do better, and then like move on
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  Speaker 1: and live to fight another day.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Isn't it funny that we have this assumption that doing
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  Speaker 3: something for ourselves is at the detriment of someone else,
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  Speaker 3: when in actuality, it's probably for their benefit as well.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, you get the best version of me if
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: you let me do like something for myself. But I
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: think women in general do that another one of those
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: things that those adages that always get throwns out right,
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  Speaker 1: it's like the put your oxygen mask on first, and
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: that comes I think really difficult for women. It's not
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: our nature. Our nature is to nurture, to care for
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  Speaker 1: other people, to overextend ourselves, always at the detriment of ourselves,
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: and then whatever is left, like after you've served your
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: work life, your personal life, your kids, your spouse, like,
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  Speaker 1: after you do all that, whatever's left you can make do.
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  Speaker 1: And I just got really tired over the years of
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: being like, man, I treat everyone else better than I
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: treat myself, and I'm not sure that that is the
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: best approach to longevity, like you can do this. I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: was blessed with like seemingly endless amounts of energy, but
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: eventually that really manifested into some really cripplingly dark days
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: of anxiety for me, and I recognized that that wasn't
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: happening in a vacuum, like the anxiety that I was
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: suffering from the neurosis, the fear that something bad was
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: going to happen, like these things come and are born
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  Speaker 1: and bred of being overworked, of being tired, of being
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  Speaker 1: selfless at the detriment of your own health, Like I
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: realized over time that it wasn't happening because I was
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: just in a stressful moment or a stressful season. It
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: was years and years and years of build up, and
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  Speaker 1: it took legitimately emily the last year of my life
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  Speaker 1: where I've just been like, I need to talk this
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  Speaker 1: out with someone, I need to process these things, and
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  Speaker 1: then I need to move on. And so I'm still practicing,
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: like I don't always do it particularly well, and sometimes
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  Speaker 1: I find myself continuing to run on an empty tank,
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  Speaker 1: but I'm getting better and I'm trying.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing that.
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  Speaker 3: I think it's so impressive because there's this recognition that
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  Speaker 3: it's not just a busy season, Like you've been working
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  Speaker 3: at ESPN since twenty sixteen, and even before you join
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  Speaker 3: the team at ESPN and you were still in a
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: busy season. So going on over a decade of being busy,
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  Speaker 3: it's exhausting.
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  Speaker 1: It's a lot, it really is. I think the thing
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: that's really interesting that I've learned through the years is that, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: there is no season. There are new problems, new issues,
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: new wrinkles, no matter what phase of your life that
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you're in. If you would have asked twenty two year
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  Speaker 1: old me, she would have told you she was crazy busy,
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  Speaker 1: and she was, but certainly I wouldn't have planned that
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  Speaker 1: I would also be navigating the rigors of my work
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  Speaker 1: with also a family. And so this idea that if
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: we could just get to the end of you know,
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  Speaker 1: I don't know how often you've done that to yourself.
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  Speaker 1: Here're like, if I can just get to this, if
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  Speaker 1: I can just light at the end of the tunnel,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: this thing, if I can just get there's no like
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: peaceful land that you're navigating towards where you never have
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: to balance like life and work. You don't ever reach
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: that finish line, Like there is no finish line right
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  Speaker 1: ultimately until you die. So I think having to teach
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: that to myself that like you say, if I could
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  Speaker 1: just get to all the time, and you've done it
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  Speaker 1: for twenty years and you never actually get to the end.
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  Speaker 1: You just keep reshifting, refocusing and being like, if I
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: could just get to it's not the best way, you know,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: it's not the most efficient way to live. Life is
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: just like looking forward to getting through something just to
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: ultimately get to more things that you're just trying to
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: get through. And I started off by saying survive and advance.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: I'm totally going against everything that I said, but it's
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: the truth, and that's really no way to live. Survive
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: in advance no way to live.
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  Speaker 3: But I also feel like those periods of I just
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: need to get to the next thing are when you're
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: more so not living in alignment. You're not doing the
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: things that feel super right for you. I know that
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: earlier in your career you were balancing through a couple
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: of different avenues when it came to trying to find
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: your footing within your reporting and your work. Talk to
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: me about how that time period felt for you before
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: you joined the team at ESPN, when you were kind
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: of like, is anything going to stick here?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I had this grand vision for my life and my profession,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: and I knew what I wanted to do, and I
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: was doing that thing that most people when the early
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: twenties are doing, which is going but how do I
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: get there? How do I accomplish this thing? And I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: feel like I was pretty strategic in terms of knowing that,
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: you know, ultimately, if I wanted to land at ESPN,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: it didn't have to look linear. I was really strategic
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: in like taking a job with the Gospel Music Channel,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: even though I didn't really know anything about gospel music,
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: because it allowed me a chance to be on a
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: TV set. I did hip hop radio in Atlanta because
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: I knew that even though again that had nothing to
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: do on the surface with working at ESPN and being
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: a sportscaster. I knew the ability to form stories and
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: to add lib and to talk for hours at a
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: time and to figure out the pulse of what people
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk about. Like, I knew that was important.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: So I spent a lot of years sort of putting
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: weapons in the arsenal, if you will, So that like,
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: at some point, if I got an opportunity, I'd be
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: able to use all of those things. But truly it
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: was a lesson in like taking a gamble on yourself.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And I found myself at twenty three, twenty four years old,
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: very popular in my hometown doing rate go into concerts,
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: get in the best seats at restaurants, blah blah lah,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: making really good money for a twenty four year old
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: college dropout. And I would cry myself to sleep, and
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know, you're ungrateful, Like people would
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: kill to have the opportunities that you have, Like why
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: are you so unhappy? But ultimately it was because I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: was being lull to sleep. I was being lulled into
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: a false sense of security that like, despite you having
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: these grand visions for your life, life is presenting you
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: these opportunities and even though they're not exactly what you
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: want to do, like they're fine, and then the little
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: doubt monster comes and goes, don't you know, look a
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: gift horse in the mouth. You're making great money. You
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: do hip hop radio, you host clubs, You show up
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: at a grocery store and sign autographs and make a
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: few hundred bucks, like like this, this is fantastic. What
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: are you talking about? Maybe there is nothing else for you.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe this is your goal. Maybe you need to refocus
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: your goal and think a little bit smaller. Maybe this
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: is as good as it's ever going to get for you.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: And it actually took my radios parting ways with me.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: You know, I had been lulled into this false sense
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: of security thinking I guess I could do this forever.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be crazy happy, but it would be fine.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: And it was them being like, oh, you know, we're
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: going to move in a different direction that really kicked
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: me in the ass. I was offended. I was like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, I didn't even really want to be
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: doing this, and you don't want me. You don't want me? Right?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: It was the ego monster of like I didn't even
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: really enjoy doing this, and now you don't even want me.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: But what I realized in that time is that sometimes
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: you need life to remind you of your purpose, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: sometimes you need to remember that your talent goes with you.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And it was a real kick in that, you know what,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: for someone to tell me like, we don't think you're
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: a star, we don't think that you're right for this.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: It was soul crushing because I started thinking, what if
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: they're right. What if I'm not as good as maybe
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I hope or think I can be? Like what if
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: these crazy, big plans that I have for myself are absurd,
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: are too audacious, are too big? And that was to
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: me a really pivotal moment in my life where I
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: had to figure out how to take a gamble on myself.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: It was incredibly humbling, and I really went into gear
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: on sort of thinking about how I refocused my goals
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: to make sure that they're in alignment with my own values,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: but also how they're in alignment with how my life
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: was working. And so I was so grateful for getting
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: laid off because it reminded me that, like you are
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: not one job, one role, that if one person sees it,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: someone else will see it. And that's when I started plotting.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And I joined a local television station and they hired
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: me as a traffic girl, and I was like, Okay, again,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: this has nothing to do with sports, but I'll do
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: your traffic if you let me cover sports for you
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: on the side, you don't have to pay me. I'll
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: work extra, it doesn't matter. And I took that opportunity
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: and I ran with it, and then I got an
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: opportunity in Boss and the network at you know in
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Atlanta was like, please don't leave us, like this is
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: a huge risk. We'll pay you all this money, We'll
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: keep you here. You're known in Atlanta, you're loved in Atlanta.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: You really want to restart over at thirty years old?
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And I was like, hell, yeah, I do. And it
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: was because of getting laid off at that radio station
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: that reminded me that security. Nobody ever did or accomplished
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: great big things because of security, right Like, they did
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: it because they just felt like their life was designed
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: to be different and to look, you know, different than
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: it currently was. So I did that and I went
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: to Boston and I didn't love it. And when they
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: wanted me to stay in Boston, I was like no, right,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: like again sense of security. Sure, it's a job, it's
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: a paycheck. It's consistent. We are taught as women to
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: be grateful for opportunities so much so that you should
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: be paralyzed in those opportunities sometimes, like don't get too
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: don't get too cute, right, Like, don't timp fake too much,
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: you already got this one job, you might not get another.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: But I knew better, and so I took a risk
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: and I left Boston and I got the audition at ESPN,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: and I've been there ever since.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Been there ever since. Wow, A lot to unpack here.
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: The first thing that I do want to double click
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: on is how you pick yourself up these days different than.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: When you were younger.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Different when you face that first hurdle moment of getting
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: let go from the radio station.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well back then, I would just like cry. It
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: would be a lot of like self pity and wallowing,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of like victimization. That's probably the thing I'm
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: most proud of, is like recognizing my accountability and culpability
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: and things. It's very easy to sort of woe is me?
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: How could they do this to me? What they did
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: to me, as if I'm some sort of victim. And
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: now that I can reflect and introspect a little bit better,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I can see that, like, certainly there were things that
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I could have done better or I could have done
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: differently to allow for a different outcome. So what I
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: do now is in a situation where I find myself
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: facing a really big hurdle or an existential crisis. I
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: first looked like my role in it, and I process it,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: and I forgive myself. I've learned that in relationships and
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: in professions as well, a lot of times the weight
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: and the baggage that we carry is not for things
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: that have been done to us, but things that we
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: allowed to be done to us that we also like
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: participated in. And so I allowed them to lull me
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: into a false sense of security, you know, I allow
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: them to make me believe that there was nothing better
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: out there for me. I allowed them to believe that
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: they were the only ones that ever saw and therefore
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't seek or chase opportunity elsewhere. So once I
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: was able to forgive myself for that and take culpability
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and accountability for my role in whatever was done to
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: me or done around me, it allowed myself to like
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: really move on and just like, you know, be receptive
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: to the fact that, like, hey, you're not uncommon, right,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: Like I think sometimes we have to get sort of
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: that narcissistic quality out of our head that like this
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: is We're the only people that are experiencing these kinds
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: of challenges. I'm the only person in the world that's
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: ever been laid off. This happens. It happens every day
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: to people, good people, bad people. And so you know,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: whereas before I would sort of exist in this world
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: of self pity and uh and need like affirmation and
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: confirmation from other people to dig myself out, I'm fully
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: capable now as I've hit my forties of recognizing like
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: what I need to sort of pull myself out of
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: some of these funks, and also how I can process
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: like these things that are happening and recognize that ultimately
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I'm still in a very privileged position to have opportunity.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, media been laid off twice. Hi. My name is Emily.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I'm part of the group. It's both right.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: It is yes, really beautiful about you're at this place
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: now where you can take ownership in these moments.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean that being at that place is easy.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: It doesn't mean just because it's a skill that you've
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: practiced in, something that you recognize that you are capable of,
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: that it's not hard.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Oh of course it still hurts. It hurts every time.
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: You know, I've I've really come to terms with being
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: a recovering people pleaser. I all I wanted ever was
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: for everyone to like me, and so how I moved,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: how I talked to people, how I navigated relationships was
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: always based on I want to leave a good taste
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: in their mouth, like I don't want anyone to ever
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: feel like they met me. And I was a bit
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: or I was this. It took therapy and getting older
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: to realize how much of that is built around the ego,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Like that's actually egomaniacal as someone who prides themselves on
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: not having no ego. We all have an ego, all
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: of us do, and we need it sometimes, right, But
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: every time I tried to pride myself on like humility
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: and all these things, I realized so much of that
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: was seeped an ego and feeling like I needed to
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: be beloved and why like why where does that come from? Right?
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: And so it took a long time for me to
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: sort of accept that, Like it doesn't really matter like
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: what you do or who you There's just going to
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: be some people who you just don't vibe with, who
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: just don't vibe with you, who are not buying what
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: you're selling, and that's okay, right, Like tastes are completely
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: subjective and in the same way that there's just some
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: types of food that I don't like and I can't
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: really explain to you why. That's how it is with
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: people and interactions as well. But even then, like it's
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: still soul crushing sometimes when you log on social media
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: and like someone's calling you out your name and saying
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: that you're the worst thing that ever happened to sportscasting
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: and like that. That can be tough, and I think
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: you nailed it. You know. We always talk such a
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: big game about how we feel and what's important and
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: our morality and our values until we're faced with them
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: and till we have to actually navigate some of those complexities.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: And that's when you say, is this really working? Am
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I really the person? If I'm really the person that
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: says I don't care what people think save for the
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: people in my life that love and respect me, then
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: you really have to mean it and you have to
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: walk that walk. But it does also mean that sometimes
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: those little seeds of doubt and insecurities and hurt don't
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: creep in.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: When or what was the moment where you saw a
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: comment and that made you realize this is the end
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: of me really caring in this way.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I'll give you my example.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I was on my way to do a live show
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: with Des Linden before the Boston Marathon a few years ago,
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: and I remember that someone asked me if I had
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: read something or other on Reddit. Now, I had never
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: looked at Reddit before. I looked at Reddit that day.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: It's the last time I'll ever look at Reddit in
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: my life. And I realized that day that I cannot
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: let these keyboard warriors, these people that don't actually know
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: me or my character, distinguish or change the way that
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: I want to show up to do my job and
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: help other people. So for you, there had to be
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: a moment that you were like, you know what, I'm out.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, by the way, I call them thumb thugs, typing
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: away and being mean. Honestly, you can call me all
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: kinds of things. Some of them might be right, most
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: of them, in my opinion, are not wrong. But for me,
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: it was a few years ago someone said on social media,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I know Elle. They don't know me. I know Elle.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I hear that she is a nightmare to work with
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: and extremely self absorbed. And here's the one thing that
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: you can say about me. I am not a nightmare
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: to work with. I am a team frickin' player I
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: stand on reputation. You don't like my jokes, fine, you
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: think I'm corny, cool, you don't like my sports take,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: that's all good, It's all okay. That is up for debate.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Whether I know what I'm talking about, whether I'm great
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: at TV, that's fine. That's all opinion based. What is
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: not opinion based at all is how I show up
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: my professionalism, my ability to work with the team, the
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: real work that I've put in reputationally to make sure
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: that even if everyone on social media who do not
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: know me think one thing, the people that work with
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: me every day, they know who I am. They know
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: what it's like working with me. And when I saw that,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know what solidified like you don't
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: know about me. If you think I am self absorbed
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: and a nightmare to work with, that is the opposite
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: of what I would say ninety five percent of the
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: people that have ever worked. I'm not perfect. I have
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: made mistakes, I have not eaten in a while. I
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: can be real grumpy on that desk. I get all
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: of that. But this idea that someone was attacking my
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: professional reputation, it really pissed me off, and I was like,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm all set because again I have
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: I'm twenty years in this game, and I have made
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: sure that I try my absolute best in every situation
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: with every group that I've ever worked with, and there's
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: been a million, I've had one hundred million jobs that
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: at the very least they can never say that I
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: was not on time, professional and good to work with
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: and like that to me is when I was like,
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: this is none of this matters. Like you can do
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: everything in the world to build up who you are,
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: and one little thing, one experience can kind of change
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: that in everyone's minds. And so I think it was that.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: And then actually years ago, which is really actually Emily
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: informed a lot of like the grace that I give
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: using that word again other people I had just found
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: I was doing radio in Atlanta. I had just found
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: out that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer. Literally I'm
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: walking into this event. My dad called me and said
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: grandpa has cancer. And I was, as you can imagine,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: very emotional. And this woman comes running up to me
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: with her daughter and she's like, oh my gosh, ell,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: we're such big fans. Can you take a picture with
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: my daughter, and I am holding back a mountain of tears,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm so sorry, can you just
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: please give me a minute. I need to go to
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: the bathroom. And I run off to the bathroom and
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I gathered myself and I went on and I did
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: this event that I had to do. But that woman
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: emailed my boss and was like, we were such big
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: fans of Elle, and she was so rude to us.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: She was horrible to my daughter, like she is so fake,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: she is nothing like how she seen. She seems like
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: this like down to earth around the way girl, She's
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: none of those things. And it also really underscored for
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: me Emily that, like, again, one bad moment and people
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: will characterize you as this thing that you are not.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: And so with that, I have given myself and allowed
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: myself grace to asay this whole plight of yours. To
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: make sure no one ever dislikes you is just impossible,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: and also to recognize that people have bad days and
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: bad moments and you don't know what's happening in people's
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: lives and to just give them some grace. Now, if
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: you have two, three, four interactions with people and they're
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: all negative, maybe you can make an assumption about someone,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: and I think it's okay, Like you can make a
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: pretty you can make a pretty you know, solid assessment
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: of someone. But yeah, those two moments I think in
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: my life have really sort of showed me that, like,
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: ultimately all that matters is the people that you know
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: and trust and love you, because they will hold you
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: accountable and they will tell you when you're wrong, and
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: they will tell you when you steering from the mission,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: and like you can go to them because they know
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: your heart and they know who you are. And I
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: don't think it's because you want to surround yourself with
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: yes men. Rather, you want to surround yourself with people
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: who have a vested interest in making sure that you
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: are living up to the potential that you have in
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: yourself and that they see.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: To preach preach. I mean, you have to show up
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: a lot on hard days.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: And I'm not just talking about hard days when it
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: comes to stuff going on in the news that we're
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: all consuming, but hard days personally every day.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Get into that desk and turning it on.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Have there been moments where it feels impossible for you
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: to turn it on? And when you do, despite that
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: impossible feeling. Do you find that your presence on those
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: days shows up differently?
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Yes. Yeah, compartmentalization has been really really key for me.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: I am a firm believer that anything that you have
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: happening in your life, it's very hard sometimes for that
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: not to seep through. But when I go to my job, like,
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: it is not anybody else's fault. If I'm dealing with things,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: if I've got tough things going on mentally, if there's
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: things in my life that are seemingly unraveling, if I
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: had to have an emergency session with my therapist, everyone's
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: going through things. Ultimately, when we show up to work, like,
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: the best that I can do is process, compartmentalize. Put
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: that to the side.
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, understandable.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I need for us for a moment to wrap about
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: the Boston chapter. You've spoken out about it being a
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: pretty tough part of your story taking that job. Talk
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: to me about the challenges that went hand in hand
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: being on air in Boston.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, really it was really, really, really tough. I got
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: warned a lot, like you're from Atlanta, have you ever
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: been to Boston? Are you sure you want to go there? Like?
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Do you know about their reputation? But again, I don't
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: like just taking other people's words for it. I'm like, oh,
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: but you never know, that could have just been your experience,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: Like my experience could be very different. It was really
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: really tough for the first time I was you know,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: I went from living in a penthouse in Atlanta, like
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I said, like that was my city. I was from there,
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: like living my best life. I moved to Boston, where
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: it's like triple as expensive as Atlanta. I was living
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: in a multi basement house in the basement with spiders,
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: and because I couldn't really afford to live in Boston proper,
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I was living in a blue collar town in Boston,
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: and it was incredibly difficult. Yeah, it was tough. The microaggressions,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: the macroaggressions, just the lack of warmth. You know, I'm Southern,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: so like you don't meet a stranger. That was really
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: off putting to me. Professionally, I was sort of balancing
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: These people gave me my first opportunity to do sports
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: television full time, and I was so grateful for that,
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: but I also was sort of carrying the weight of like,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but I wish it was anywhere else because it was
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: tough for me. Like it was my then boyfriend and
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: fiance now husband at the time really really struggled there too,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: And I think that was the hardest part, was the guilt.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I moved him to Boston to be with me. He
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: was very comfortable and happy in Atlanta, where his family was,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: where his friends were, He's also from there. And then
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I threw him into this adventure with me where he
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: would leave the house and you know, have Hyle Hitler
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: thrown at him, or have you know some really overt
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: microaggressions what are you doing here? Boy? Like he started
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: to change. I saw this like darkness in him when
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: he would leave the house. It was almost like he
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: was putting on his defenses, like he was getting ready
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: for war. Every time we walked out of the house,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: he was just waiting on somebody to say something. And
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: it really sucked because it was like, this is I
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: can handle this, because this is part of my design
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: to end up at ESPN. You know, I was very
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: intentional about going to Boston. It's the best sports city
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: in the world. The acumens through the roof. If you
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: can hang in Boston, you can hang anywhere. I knew
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: all of that going in, and like that was the directive.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: But to drag someone that I loved into this adventure
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: where he was absent, miserable just felt really, really tough,
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: and so I made a tough decision that at the
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: end of my contract, which was a two year deal,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I was going to leave no matter what. I was
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: going to leave. I didn't have a job, but I
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: was like, I guess I'll just go back to Atlanta
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: and we'll figure it out from there. Because it was
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: the first time in my life where I chose my
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: personal life over my professional life. So I'm going to
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: sacrifice my professional life for something in my personal life.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I love this man. I want to spend my life
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: with him, and he made this sacrifice for me and
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: he hates it here and so I got it. He
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: never asked me to, but I wanted to do that
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: for him. And I got really lucky in that the universe,
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: you know, rewarded me with this opportunity to audition with
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: ESPN simply by saying like, I'm not going to come back.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: And it was interesting because my boss at the time
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: in Boston looked at me and was like, as a
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: black woman in broadcasting, opportunities for you are already so rare,
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Are you sure you want to give this one up?
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: And what he didn't know at the time was that
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I already had the job ESPN. So I just, you know,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: looked at him and I said, I think I'm gonna
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: take my chances like I think I'm gonna I'm gonna
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: try and be bold and unafraid and do what is
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: calling me, which is leaving here. But it was it
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: was really really tough, and you know, Boston's been upset
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: with me. I've talked about this a lot, like I
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: think as a whole. You know, my relationship with Boston
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: is very complicated and complex because, like I said, they
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: gave me my first opportunities and there is zero chance
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: I'm working at ESPN if they don't give me a shot.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I had some great moments and made some great friends there,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: but it is there is a reason that people talk
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: about the reputation of that place, and I would just say,
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: from my vantage, it is not undeserved.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I agree with you.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I mean, born and raised in Connecticut, went to Yukon,
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: so familiar with your territory.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: Uh, what in a.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: Special moment for you when you said to yourself this
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: is what's right for me, And all of the doors
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: opened for you when you garner that level of self
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: belief and that level of courage, right because staying in
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: that place and like adopting that scarcity mindset in the
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: long term, you saw that that didn't serve you before,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: so you certainly knew that it wasn't going to serve
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: you in the future.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Exactly. I wasn't falling for it. I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: You're not going to do that same thing that the
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: other place did to me, which was make me believe
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: that no one else will ever want me. I know
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: that to not be true. I learned that lesson, and
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to try and even if it looks a
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: little different than what I thought that it would, I
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: have enough faith in myself and the work that I
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: do and how I show up that like opportunities will
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: open for me. Fortune favors the bold, and there's a
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: reason that people say that, and so I wanted to
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: try and take that risk. And I just knew that
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: anywhere but here, and that was my mentality, like I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: will humble myself and go take another job somewhere else.
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I'll go to Kalamazoo. I don't care. I just know
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: this is not serving me or my family, and I'm
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: gonna have to make that choice for my family. And
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't.
• 32:00
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: about Inside Tracker. I want to talk to you about
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: something that has genuinely changed how I approach my health
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: data and more importantly, how I talk about optimizing my
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: health performance and vitality for the long run. Your body's
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: constantly sending you signals through your buyer markers, your DNA,
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: your fitness data. The problem is most of us don't
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: know how to listen to our body and interpret these signals.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: That is where inside Tracker comes in. Inside Tracker is
• 32:28
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• 35:41
  Speaker 3: let's get back to it. I would imagine that when
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: it came time for you to have your first child,
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: there was probably a fair amount of uncertainty that came
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: hand in hand with that, having worked so diligently to
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: build yourself a foundation for this career that you were
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: so excited about.
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, ma'am.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: It was so funny to me my cousin when I
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: got pregnant. I was working at ESPN. I got pregnant
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: with my first My cousin hit me up and he's like,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: I've figured out this ESPN thing. You guys get to ESPN,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: you start making money, and then you go, all right,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: now I can have some kids. I'm like, Okay, that's
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: not exactly how it worked, but yeah, I do I
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: think it's one of those situations. I mean, I come
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: from a place where I'm from Atlanta, but I'm from
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: the Burbs. And I was joking with someone the other day, Emily,
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: that a lot of the people that I graduated from
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: high school from not only are their kids graduating college,
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: like some of them have grandkids and we're forty two
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: years old, and I'm like, okay. And conversely, I have
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: a four year old, and so I kind of always
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: knew I wanted to be an older mom. I knew
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to really hyper focus on career, try
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: to put myself in a position where I could, you know,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: have these kids and have more time and more stability
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: and be a little bit farther in my career. What
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I did not anticipate is that from the opposite of
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: the scarcity mindset is that more opportunities would continue to come,
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: and that navigating this work life balance saying, I guess
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: in my mind somewhere I thought, like, I'll get to ESPN,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I'll have these kids, I'll be around. But the truth is,
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: because I've worked really hard and because I'm very fortunate,
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I've had even more opportunities and the opportunities keep going,
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: and that's become more difficult than ever. When they're babies,
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: it's so easy to leave, like all they want, like
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: they're a hoe for whoever has a bottle. They don't care, right,
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: But as they become older and more aware, they recognize
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: that you're not there. They recognize when they don't see
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: you out in the audience at the school play, you
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: know they don't And that has been difficult for me,
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: is going, wow, what if it never does slow down?
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Like what if I never do have that moment of
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: feeling like I have pure work life balance? And that's
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: been I think maybe the biggest misnomer that I try
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: to talk to these women about who are thinking about planning,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: family planning and starting a family is that, like, don't
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: do all of this based on some preconceived notion that
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: at some day the clouds will part and you'll have
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: this perfect thing laid out for you of balance. That's
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: not at all how this works. Like you're going to
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: have to reshift, refocus, realign, and also just recognize that
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: you're going to have to make sacrifices. There is no
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: such thing as work life balance. I stand firm on that,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Like there is not. There is just figuring out what
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: needs the most attention that day, that week, that month,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: that year, and serving that the best that you can
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: and recognizing that other things are going to fall to
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: the wayside. It just is what it is. You need
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: to be intentional about your partnership and having a great
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: partner that helps you pick up the slack that doesn't
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: make you feel guilty about it, because ultimately that's what
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: kids are born to do. Make you feel guilty and
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: bad about things.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: I have not at all solved that issue, but I
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: have definitely been kinder to myself and recognizing that all
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: the things I said I wanted to be as a
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: mother are things I said before I had children, and
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: then I had kids, and you're hit with reality and
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, no, I can't be the mom that
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: shows up to school every single day with like Pinterest
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: pancakes and craft ideas, and like that's just not only
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: can I not do that because of my schedule, I
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: don't actually think that particularly interests me. And we're doing
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: so much comparing with social media that we like see
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: these moms seemingly like, you know, there's like an influencer
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: right now who's known for like she makes everything fresh,
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: so instead of just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: with like smuckers and jiff, Like, she's making fresh peanut
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: butter and she's making jelly and she's canning at herself,
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: and she probably blew the glass that the jelly is in.
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: And I'm like that shit is not me, and that's okay,
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: And that is that is not all mothering and parenting is,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: which is just always having time and always I'm teaching
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: my kids sacrifice. I'm teaching my kids that in order
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: to have all of these things seemingly that you want
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: in life, sometimes you have to sacrifice. And unfortunately that
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: means sometimes they sacrifice time with their mother. But I
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: hope that that's just as impactful as a mom that
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: is at everything can pick them up from everything. Like
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: I hope that I'm teaching them like that being a
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: parent is multilayered and it looks like a lot of
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: different things.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: You're modeling a lot of really great behavior for them
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: beyond this concept of sacrifice. I giggled when you said
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: that because of that, I've worked very hard and I
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: was very fortunate. I'm like zero in dial in on
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: the Because I've worked very hard is why you're getting
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: the opportunities that you got to learn from ESPN that
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: they wanted you to move to the six pm slot
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: the day before you take your maternity leave. That doesn't
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: happen because you're fortunate. It happens because you're good at
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: what you do. They see your value and they want
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: you to know that you have not just a home
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: at ESPN when you're back from that moment, but you
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: have the slot when you're back from that moment.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie to you, Emily. That was
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: really that was amazing, especially in a world where we
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: really concern ourselves with like will my value be diminished?
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Will they you know, will they sort of weed me out?
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: Will they think that like, I'm going to be too
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: focused on this. And so for them to say to
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: your point, like, not only are you value here, but
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: we're going to give you a promotion when you come
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: back from maternity leave, Like we don't think this is
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: a deterrent in any kind of way. We don't want
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: to punish you. In fact, we want to promote you.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: It felt great, I mean, you know, it was. It
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: was a lot I was. I literally got the call
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: like thirteen hours before I was going in for my
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Plan C section, So I'm doing like calls with pr
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: and stuff and getting quotes for the announcement. But it
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: was really good to know that I had that and
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: then my son was born with some challenges, and so
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: to be able to call them and say, like, I
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: know you had plans for me to come back and
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: do this big you know, premiere show as me being
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: a member, but like we're going to have to push
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: that because my son needs me, and like that has
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: to be and they couldn't have been more. They were like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: take all the time you need. It was a great
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: thing to give to me, but also to give, I
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: think to other women at the company and other women
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: who are all so battling some of the ideology beyond
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: you're going to be treated differently, unfairly, You're going to
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: be treated as if none of this is important to
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: you anymore once you have kids. And so if I
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: can in any way put some mom's minds at ease
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: by saying, like there are companies that value you enough
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: to not only say you're going to be fine, We're
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: going to preserve your job, but we're also going to
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: promote you as well, and having They don't do that
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: to men, you know, and men don't think that way either,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Like men don't go I'm having this kid in three months.
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: I wonder if they're going to think I'm going to
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: lack ambition. I no longer want to work anymore. They
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: don't have the benefit of even taking themselves there, but
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: women do. And so it was great to just have
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: that nod from ESPN.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: And so in the year since then, you've definitely diversified
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: the way that you show up at ESPN, and especially
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: now with the boom that we're seeing within women's sports
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: with your Big three. How does it feel for you
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: now to have this seat at the table where you
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: really get this opportunity to dial in and promote the
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: greatness that is women in sport.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: It's so cool, It's so it's so cool to like
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: to be. I was an athlete growing up. I played
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: softball my whole life, and I played softball with the
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: understanding that there was no future for me in softball,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: right Like, at best it could get me through college
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: and maybe get college paid for, but then that would
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: be the end of my career. I love so much
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: that we live in a time that I get to
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: chronicle what's happening, but that we live in a time
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: where like young girls playing softball can see a future
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: in softball, Young girls playing you know, college basketball, like
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: have a real future in this country playing in the WNBA.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: Volleyball players have a real future in volleyball. Like, I
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: think it's been really cool to be a part of
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: something that has been bubbling at the surface for a
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: long time. Because let's be clear, like it's not that
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: the women got more talented or more anything. It's just
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: that the platforms have gotten bigger, the investments have gotten bigger,
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: and so we're sort of experiencing the fruits of labor
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: from twenty thirty years ago. But to be a part
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: of something instead of joining something that's already right, Like
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: you can go cover football, but like like football is football,
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: and you're just kind of jumping on a rocket ship
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: already to be able to ground level watch and experience
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: something as it is exploding. And that's not just women's basketball.
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: I mean we're seeing gymnastics over indexing and ratings, We're
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: seeing softball over indeck. We had our first million dollar
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: INIL deal for a softball player, like it's not I mean,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: it's nuts. Like I know women that tried to play
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: softball professionally that I played with growing up, and they
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: were making thirty five dollars a game, fifty dollars a
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: game riding a bus eight nine hours. And now you
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: have a nineteen year old making a million dollars to
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: play college softball Like it is. It's remarkable, and more importantly,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: it is such an honor to get to help share
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: the stories of these young women who are so remarkable,
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: who are balancing things that even female athletes of the
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: past never had to balance, between social media and IL deals,
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: their brands, their students, their athletes, Like they are carrying
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: so much on their shoulders, and to watch how they
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: do it is so inspiring, even though they're like twenty
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: five years younger than me. It's been great, and I
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: get to do it with women that I revere that
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I love, that are friends Dre and Janet and all
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: the women that we work with in that space. It is,
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: you know, in a male dominated space when you can
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: find these pockets where you're just surrounded by successful, smart
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: women who amplify each other who root for each other,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: when you can pour cold water all over that bullshit
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: idea that women are catty and tear each other down,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: Like I live it every day. I work with women
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: every day who do nothing but pour into me and
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: help me. And it's been incredibly fulfilling to be able
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: to experience that.
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, there were so many years months that you didn't
• 45:48
  Speaker 3: have that opportunity, that you weren't at the table with
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: people that looked like you, with people that you now
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: consider friends. When you think about the future of both
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: sports casting and really you know, creators as it comes
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: to the world of women in sport, what do you
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: see coming down the pipe?
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: Man, I just see more of like everything. And I
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: know that sounds like a really generic answer, but I
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: think it's more of an embracing of if there's one
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: thing people ask me this like sort of legacy question
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: a lot, like what's something that you hope that you
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: can leave for you know, younger women that want to
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: do this or want to be involved in this. And
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: it's that like the same way that Robin Roberts represented
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: visibility for me a path to progress. It was like, Okay,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: there is a black woman that is doing this. I
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: can do that because I can see that. What I'm
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: hoping is that I can really empower young women, women
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: my age broadcasters, to give their opinion, to be unapologetically themselves,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: to be unafraid. I think that women in sports a
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: lot of times we're very careful and cautious about how
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: we talk about things, knowing that ultimately we're going to
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: be hit with the lego do you know you never
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: play you didn't play football, you know what do you know?
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: And like that has somehow impacted us in many ways
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: in terms of like what we talk about topics. Sometimes
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: women always lean on sort of the crutch of numbers, right,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: because you can't argue numbers, so they'll go really stat heavy.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I hope that if nothing else, I empower women to
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: be themselves, to speak their mind, to say how they feel,
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: and to be completely unafraid at what happens after that.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: So long as you're not being inflammatory for the sake
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: of being inflammatory, so long as you mean it, so
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: long as it's coming from a place of preparation and
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: expertise and knowledge, and because you love it. I just
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: want women to do the same things that men do.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I want them to be talking wind bags. Sometimes
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: I want them to be analytical like whatever it is.
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: I just want them to embrace fully being themselves and
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: it has always served me well. It does mean that
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: my mentions get blown up sometimes. It does mean sometimes
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: I stir up controversy, not on purpose, but it just
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: happens that way when you're opinionated. But I hope of
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: nothing else. Like when a young woman Emily comes up
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: to me and she's like, yeah, I write like jokes
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: about sports, and I write a monologue just like you do,
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: or I talk my shit. I love that. I'm like,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: good for you because we are so many things. We
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: are multifaceted, and I think we need to represent that
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: in the media as well.
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: Speaking of being multifaceted and owning all the things that
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: make you great. Someone comes to your Instagram page and
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: they see what you put out into the world, being
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: someone on Sports Center, being someone that's talking about women
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: in sports, a figurehead for your industry.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: But when you look.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: In the mirror, Elle, what is it that you see
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: looking back at you?
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Oh man, wow, yeah, I've I honestly, I see this
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: probably sounds corny, but I've been accused of that a
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: few times, and that's fine too. I just see a
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: little girl who cannot believe her life. Like, yes, I
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: know I have worked hard for this, and I know
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: that I've earned the things that I have, you know,
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: the opportunities that I've been given, Like I know all
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: of that, but it is it all still is so
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: shocking to me. I'm like, I cannot believe that I
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: put this crazy dream into the atmosphere when I was
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: twelve years old, and I'm actually living that life right now, Like,
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: I have exactly the life that I designed exactly. It's
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: not always perfect and sometimes there are some things, some curveballs.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: This is exactly what I wanted, and I get to
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: live that every single day. And so I mostly see
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: this little girl with this audacious dream who gets to
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: experience this. But what I ultimately see, too, Emily, is
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: no one special. And I don't mean that to be
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: self deprecating. I mean that to say, if I can
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: do it, oh my god, anyone can do it. I
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: am a girl from Powder Springs, Georgia, from a middle
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: class family with no connections, who dropped out of college,
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: and now I get to text with Robin Roberts if
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: I have a question. And that's because I was strategic,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: because I worked hard, because I outworked other people, because
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: I was willing to take chances, because I was willing
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: to make sacrifices. And that is literally a blueprint for
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: absolutely everyone. So when I look in the mirror, I
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: see possibility, possibility that anyone can do this.
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: I could tell you what it is that I believe
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: makes you good at what you do, But what do
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: you believe?
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: Elle is your secret sauce?
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: What is it that affords you these opportunities on how
• 50:33
  Speaker 3: you execute?
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think authenticity. Like I think sometimes in our
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: industry we want to be really perfect and polished. I
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: fully embrace that I'm a hot mess express and so
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: you know the things that I can control or preparation,
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I am very prepared. Even if you think I'm just
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: up there vibin and telling dad jokes, it's all very strategic.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: I am very prepared. I over prepare. But ultimately it's
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: that like what you see as what you get. And
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: I think anyone that knows me would tell you the
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: same person that you see that's absolutely ridiculous on air
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: is the exact same way. In fact, you're saying, like
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: a little bit of like diet l on air, I
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: am the exact same person off air, and I have
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: been really lucky to be able to sort of bring
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: all the quirky parts of my personality and the things
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: that interest me to my professional life. But I would
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: I'd like to believe it's that that, like you believe me.
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: You believe me when I mess up and I call
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: myself a moron on air, and you believe me when
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: I cry and I say something heartfelt. You believe me
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: when I want to speak out on something and use
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: my platform to speak out on controversial topics. And you
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: believe me when I tell dad jokes. It's like all
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: those things are me, And so that's what I think.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Like I get my friends tell me all the time.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: The number one thing people ask them is is she
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: really like that? They're like, yes, she's really like that.
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: She's insane, And so you know, that's what it is.
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: Is that and then also my ability to recognize what
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: people on my desk and my coworkers need, Like I
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: am an assist, I'm a point guard who was like
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: I'd like to one day say, I'm like the superb
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: version of like she was always she could score but
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: she was always worried about making sure her teammates got
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: the ball where they needed it, which is why she
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: is the assist queen, and I love to be that
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: person to help facilitate what do you need to be
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: your best? Ultimately, you write like a lifting tide?
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: What is it?
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: A rising tide lifts all boats? I am team first always,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: I'm collaborative, and I want to make sure everyone around
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: me feels really good and feels like they're in a
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: great spot, and ultimately I'll experience the windfall. Two.
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: Do you have a most memorable or helpful assist that
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: you have received as the person that's consistently working to
• 52:45
  Speaker 3: be that assist for others?
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: Man, I got a great assist from a producer a
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: few years back, Sam to Nucci after Kobe died and
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: he asked me to I shared a story with him
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: about meeting Kobe, and then he asked me to share
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: that on I was like, absolutely not. I don't even
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: know Kobe. I met him the one time, Like this
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: feels like I'm centering myself, it's not about me, and
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: he really like broke it down for me why he
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: thought I should share it, and then he felt like
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: it really humanized Kobe in this way, and I did it,
• 53:14
  Speaker 1: and then it evolved into girl dad, which is, you know,
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: a legacy that I'm really really proud of, you know because,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: no matter what, like, no matter what you think about
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: my opinions on who's going to win the WNBA Championship
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: or whatnot, being a part of something that became this
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: cultural phenomenon that is still around today. I Mean, I
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: don't think I've ever seen a post of someone announcing
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: they're having a daughter without hashtag girl dag on. It
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: was really really cool, and it was his encouragement and him,
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: you know, really leading me there and saying like, I
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: think this would be impactful. Him seeing it even when
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: I didn't see it was an incredible assist because it's
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: a great legacy to live.
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: H What an awesome assist. What a special moment, Girl
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: dad Elle. I'd be remiss not to click on the
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: fact that we're at the end of an era, the
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: al Duncans coming to an end.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: You excited for what's next?
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Vibe Check, which is a new The l Duncan
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: Show went away to make room for Vibe Check, which
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: is like an elevated version it's like the you know,
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: the Avengers version, which will be a women's sports centered show,
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: meaning that it will be led by women, but it's
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: not just us talking about women's sports. I mean, I
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: think the cool thing about ESPN is we truly have
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: remarkable women working in every single pocket, and so myself,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: Andrea Carter chev woumkay, you know, will be involved heavily
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: in the show. But like when we want to talk
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: about football, we're gonna talk to me to chimes or
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: a Laura Rutledge. When we want to talk about women's basketball, yeah,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: we have ourselves, but we have Monica McNutt, we have
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: Rebcca Lobo, Like, there are so many incredible women at
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: the company, and I'm just really excited to have a
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: space that sort of marries the unique culture around women
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: in sports but also just allows us to like talk
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: like this is not going to be some sort of
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: platitude performative show. I think the one thing that we
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: do poorly right now when it comes to women's empowerment
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: is by trying to hit you in the face with it.
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, the she believes Cup, the she
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: can be anything she wants to envision, Cup it's like
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: sometimes right, like the greatest form of protest is just
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: simply thriving and being wonderful and being great, and that's empowering.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: So having a show that is on Disney that is
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: all women just talking about sports, not necessarily burn on
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: their bras, but like just talking about sports like that
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: to me is so incredibly empowering. And I can't wait
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: for it. It'll be coming out on June thirtieth, and
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: you'll see it three times a week on Disney Plus,
• 55:33
  Speaker 1: and it's going to be fantastic. We've got stuff for
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: the girls, stuff for the boys, like if you're a
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: sports lover, if you're not a sports lover, We're aiming
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: for everyone. We are casting an incredibly wide net. You
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: can watch it with your daughters, you can watch it
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: with your homies. It really doesn't matter. It's going to
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: be for everybody.
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: Watch it with your daughters, watch it with your homies.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: Is gonna have to be careful in the language though there.
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: Fair fair, I loose here with you, but I'm gonna
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: have to really really be on my p's and q's for.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: That show and cues.
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: Well, you've got at the desk and prepped for a
• 56:03
  Speaker 3: lot of really big moments.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: I've got to know.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: Is there anything that you do when you're about to
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: show up for something that's a little bit on the
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: intense side, A pregame ritual of sorts.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: If you will.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny you say that because one of the
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: things that me, Andre and Shane say, like seconds before
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: we're going on air, they'll be counting us ten nine.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: We all look at each other and we say the
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: same thing. If all else fails, just vibe which is
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: a big part of where vibe check came from. By
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: the way, too, I just remind myself which just TV,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: you know, I really do. I actually don't get butterflies
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: a ton anymore. So when I do, they're very exciting.
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: When I understand the gravity of something or that I'm
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: doing something that's sort of foreign to me and I'm
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: getting nervous, I use that as fuel and motivation. I say, Okay,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: you're recognizing right now on your belly that this is
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: a big deal and you're going to use all this
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: anxiety and you're going to crush it. And I control
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: that by being prepared and having a fail safe and
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: plans if things go awry. But Ultimately, I just remind myself, like,
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: no careers were made, or a line on one day,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: not typically right, Like it's just TV. If you mess
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: up a name, if you get a stat wrong, Like
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: it's all good. The beautiful thing about sports is like
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: you can have a bad day. There are a few
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: professions simly where you cannot. If you're a heart surgeon,
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: you can't have a bad day. If you're a police officer,
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: you can't have a bad day. You can impact people's lives,
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: that's not what we're doing. So I just remind people that, like,
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: while I take my job really seriously, this is still sports,
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: So like let's just have fun and let's enjoy it
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: and let's soak it in, and like if it is
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: a train wreck, we'll learn from it and we'll do
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: better the next time.
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: And you've learned from so many of the steps that
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: you've taken along in your career. I really love your
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: sentiments around I have literally designed the life that I
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: dreamt for myself when I was twelve years old.
• 57:42
  Speaker 2: For someone that's listening to this, before I.
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: Let you go today, any pints takeaways, pieces of advice
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: that you can offer when they hear that they think, Man,
• 57:50
  Speaker 3: I'd really love to design my life, but I just
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: don't even know where to begin, and I'm in my thirties.
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: Is it too late? What do you say to that person?
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, man, I say my favorite thing to say to
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: myself and now too much my children is like the
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: Desmond Tutu saying, how do you eat an elephant one
• 58:05
  Speaker 1: bite at a time? Like if you overwhelm yourself by
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: thinking of the scope of your goal or your dream,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: then you will absolutely be It's paralysis by analysis. You'll overanalyze.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: You won't ever do it. But every great journey started
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: with one single step, and so be strategic. Right. You
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: need to have strategy. You can't just be like I'm
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: gonna quit my job and hope the universe meets me
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: where I'm at. The universe is going to ask you
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: to do some work too, Okay, but be strategic and
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: remember that like almost everything in life, you can pivot
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: from right. There are very few things in life that
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: you can never come back from, and that there is
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: no such thing as making a mistake. It's only making
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: the best decision that you can with as much information
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: as you had at the time. And so be strategic.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: Have a plan A and B. I am not on team.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: I only have one plan A because that's going to
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: show you how serious I am about this. I think
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: you should have a plan ABC, D and E because
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: you were always ready to pivot if things don't exactly
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: happen the way that you want. But go for it.
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, you've got literally one life to live. And
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: we hear that all the time, but you guys, it's
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: so true, and it goes by so fast, and you'll
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: look up and you're forty two years old, and maybe
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: you do live the life that you've designed, and maybe
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: you thought that you were living the life that you designed,
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: and you find yourself at forty five years old having
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: an existential crisis and going, I don't know that I
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: want this life. Well, then start making it look different.
• 59:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, until we leave this earth, we have every
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: opportunity to design the life that we want. So go
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: for it, Like just do what are you waiting for?
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: You waiting on like the fate faerry to knock on
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: your door and lay your dreams out. It's all within you,
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: It's all capable if you're strategic and you have a plan.
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: Just have a plan and start with one single thing,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: and I promise you it will start to evolve from there.
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: One by today a time. I am, I'm hyped up.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: I'm ready to run through a brick wall. Elle. You
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 3: When we think back to that devastating hurdle moment, that
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: radio station telling you you know what, girl, this ain't
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 3: for you, and you being like, what the hell is
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: going on here? Knowing what you know now one bite
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: at a time, what advice do you give to your
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: younger self during that hurdle moment?
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, ma'am, I would tell myself this is not the
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: first or last time that people will doubt you, that
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: people won't see it, that people won't believe in you. Ultimately,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: all that matters is your conviction, your drive, and your preparedness.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: Be prepared. You know, whenever I hear someone say I've
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: done everything and it's still not happening for me, and
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: then I start to proceed to ask them about those
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: every things that they've done and it's not even close
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: to everything, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, you haven't
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: done everything. Like you need to remember that your opportunity
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: is only what's the saying, and I love it. It's
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: like people often miss out on success because it's dressed
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: and over and looks like work. There is no light
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: at the end of the tunnel. Babe. You're gonna have
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: to be convincing people for the rest of your career
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: that you're the right fit, that you're the right one.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: But so long as you believe in yourself and so
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 1: long as you show up and do the work the
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: right way, things will happen for you and things will
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: happen to you, and so you just have to keep going.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: But ultimately, like there's going to be people all along
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: the journey that don't see it, So long as you do,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: that's all that matters.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: I am a proud member of the El Duncan Fan Club.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: ELL for those that don't follow along with you just yet,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: how do they keep up with you?
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: Where can they watch you? Yeah?
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: Five days a week Sports Center six pm Eastern on ESPN,
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: and then Vibehag three days a week Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: Started June thirtieth on Disney.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: Plus and Disney Plus. I'm over at Emily a Body
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: and at Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys,
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: next time
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: You