Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -The Tightrope of Piety: Balancing Growth and Sensitivity 2.3.26

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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the The Just -The Tightrope of Piety: Balancing Growth and Sensitivity 2.3.26 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  Right, page 422. So he says there's so many
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  examples that a person has to know what.
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  No, we say balance and say you want to do a good thing, but be
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  careful. Make sure it's actually a good
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  thing. For example, you want to review
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  the person introduced the rule, make sure it's not going to
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  backfire. You want to remain silent, maybe
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  that's going to backfire. We set examples.
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  Last week we said sometimes protests are a good thing,
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  sometimes they're a bad thing. There's so many examples of
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  where people have to figure out what's the right balance.
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  Or another example is that sometimes doing something from
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  more Toda is a positive. Sometimes possibly that new
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  organizations are negative. I randomly after we're learning
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  this, I randomly opened up a set for last night.
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  I'm not a set for the book from my house about a Sarah Robert
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  who left his job really walked away completely from his job
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  because and it was a major job because he was nervous that by
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  him having that role, he was making the senior Ravi in that
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  school look bad. He was he was he was having the
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  followers. He was the big chief, so to
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  speak. Everyone wasn't to him.
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  He's younger, he's a big deal. And the senior Ravi was looking
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  at like insignificant and he left the job and it was AB post
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  and his son wrote that is his layer.
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  And your name is Europe or Iburko Novovitz, the Mashiach,
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  the Mir. He left Yoshio.
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  He used to have Yoshio with the Havitz Rahim.
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  Imagine the Havitz Rahim was the guard door door.
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  And he left because there were people following him and it made
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  it seem like they weren't following the Havitz Rahim.
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  And I made the Havitz Rahim look bad.
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  Even with those such rabbis, there was an issue and he left.
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  And it was a very hard thing for the dude.
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  He did it anyway. But his son said one of the
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  biggest thing my father ever did in life was leave that job
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  because it was hard for him to do, but he did it because it's
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  the right thing. Just an example, all right, But
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  the overall theme is sometimes you say to yourself, I'm
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  building, I'm doing a good thing, what could be wrong?
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  Look at the overall decision. That's what he's telling you
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  over here. So let's see an example.
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  All right, we'll leave from the fourth line.
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  You have the real looks, Paschutu.
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  It's obvious that every person should be a highly motivated
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  persons, human sorts, sherawudu koladam liot magdim Veras advan
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  mitzvah ulishta de liot mana auschima.
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  Everybody should be highly dedicated to be a busy guy, to
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  be involved in mitzvah, to do more ah.
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  However, a person needs to analyze not just their current
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  decision, also their ratification.
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  Hena le Pennsylvania me a holy valet Mize Miri BA you can cause
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  a fight. That's exactly our point.
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  She attended Bazer mitzvah that will create create great
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  disrespect and be Zion for mitzvah with Khalil.
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  Shame shame shame MI mashid kabei and is going to cause more
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  Hulu Hashem and Kurdish shame. They killed with vada shreya
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  verazila hania khata Mitzvah rolled off the situation.
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  Drop it and run it's fight it's fire.
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  Turn the other way and run. This has been something that's
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  been said by the rappers over the years.
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  But look, it get lost. What's the idea?
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  The idea is he's telling you even though the decision seems
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  simple. Mozart are more greatness, but
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  no mailable ramification is negative.
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  I'll see you later. Now this is not so simple.
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  Everyone what to say. This is a hard, very hard item,
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  but it's a real thing. All right, We did the case of
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  the add on the register with the add on on page 423.
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  But it's powerful, all right. So he said.
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  I have to go to 424. The idea is you have to have
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  Omnam Gamba de Sareeka Lukhana. You have to have analysis, have
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  the auto identify what's right, what's wrong.
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  Sometimes people can be overly motivated and they're doing
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  great things. You got to be careful.
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  And he moves over to another zone, for example.
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  All right, let me give you another example.
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  How about if you do something, you're very Mahmir in a certain
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  area. You're very strict right now.
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  You're strict in your own home. And if you do this in public, it
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  might cause those around you to be hurt.
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  It might cause those around you to look at you like you're
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  crazy. It's a very delicate area.
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  We're not talking about keeping kosh.
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  We're talking about the tippy top and the tippy town.
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  All right, Let's take an example that everyone agrees is
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  considered above and beyond. Maybe.
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  Yeah. So now you do that.
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  Once you accept it as your way of life, it's hard to get out of
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  it. But let's say you do that.
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  You never really accepted it fully, keeping Shabbat 72
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  minutes after Shabbat, the lead of time, and you never really
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  made it. You holler high.
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  Just something that you do when you're alone.
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  Now you're with the whole family on a Shabbat ton.
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  And now they're getting ready to go to the the show that
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  everyone's going to and you're going to go along with them.
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  And now you're not saying why you're not going.
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  They want why you're not getting ready, why you're not getting
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  ready. And you're like, you know,
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  having an Hawaii and this is something that they hate.
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  The family has no clue what this is.
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  They never heard us. Now, like, I'm not going to
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  ridicule. You're lucky they keep Shabbat
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  and now they're going to make fun and now they're going to get
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  turned off. Now you have to know what cases
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  of this type of case, but there are cases that a person needs to
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  avoid showing their home rot. It doesn't mean you don't treat
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  that. It just means to not allow a
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  trigger that's going to allow them to make fun of you or allow
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  them to get insulted by you. This is again, a very fine line
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  because a lot of the things in our community that we do as home
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  rot are really Hanaha. This doesn't mean.
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  And when you go, your friends are going out to eat.
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  You say, guys, I'm going to go with you because you don't want
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  them to make fun of you. When you say no, they're not
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  kosher. That's not kosher.
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  Even hell of a cell if you hold of it.
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  It's also an example that you have to keep.
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  But there are examples out there, definitely examples where
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  you have a homonymous, which is your personal Shinji.
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  And now you're debating, should I display my Shinji or should I
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  not? Should I be Mahmar Mahmir in
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  this situation or should I be leaving?
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  But in scenarios that it's going to trigger making fun of you,
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  making fun of the religion maybe then getting insulted by you.
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  This is where a person with very fine way of thinking it should
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  be the worst things out. Who knows what he's doing says
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  I'll be in my commuter at home. I won't be in my commuter in
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  this situation. It's only going to backfire and
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  create more problems, right? So the.
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  They're getting insulted. No, they should be.
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  Out in the home, yeah, they'll be.
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  Over all night it's on kosher, but where where the night is not
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  on kosher, it's a family together and we're talking about
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  something that is really a high level a day they know
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  themselves. No, it's either keep I don't
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  know. I have example that they have in
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  the storybooks are of worship Feinstein.
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  He's not eating certain things like you say.
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  You want meat, They have the certain meats, and this one
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  doesn't eat this kind of meat. Right.
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  I only eat the SBD right? Gets an example.
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  Yeah, he only eats something. And really, there's nothing
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  wrong with the other meat. He knows there's nothing wrong
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  with the other meat. He just has gotten accustomed to
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  a higher, higher level. Now he's by his in laws and now
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  he's abstaining it from meat. And the kosher people, they get
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  good meat to make sure that people say if they follow every
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  issue you see, she's not that one.
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  He knows that that other one is fine A a fine A a very worked
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  upon person would eat that meat in certain scenarios.
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  Why? So where does the hell have like
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  eating pig if they served you so you don't embarrass them like.
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  No shot, no shot. That's all of course, now as a
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  story. He says he for first name.
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  Shot I'm saying you're not like question them, like, you know,
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  when you go to somebody, you have to have respect for them.
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  Now, for this type of thing, I'm so not.
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  Of course you're not. Sure, I.
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  Found that the. Rabbis always used to come with
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  the Sabbaths, right? Even the homemade ones.
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  The grandma's used to make all the stuff good.
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  That's a real scenario when you go to someone's home and you
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  have no knowledge of what they do under the thousand areas that
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  they can make mistakes. They give you a salad, they give
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  me bugs, they give you food. They could be, who knows where
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  it's coming from and these different things.
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  And you have to make a decision. Do you eat or you not eat?
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  And if you're a religious person, observant person, it's a
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  real decision to make. Now you have to go through the
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  process in your mind. I know that there is Shabbat.
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  I know the wife, I know her family, she goes swim.
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  I know some background. And then you make a decision to
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  eat. That is this analysis.
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  It requires a great level of thinking.
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  And if you mess up either way, it's really a very dangerous
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  thing. If you eat when you shouldn't
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  eat, it's dangerous. And if you don't eat and it
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  shows them that you're not eating when you should eat, it's
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  also equally dangerous. That is a mishkala hasidut.
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  A person needs to know the situation.
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  I'm not telling you always eat. Definitely not.
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  Of course. How about they send the dipping
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  of the? Dishes, they have dishes they
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  didn't dip and you eat in their house.
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  They don't want to eat them because you're on it.
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  No, you had one sink like. No, that's not right exactly do
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  sinks there's nothing but but but but if they did, they only
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  do dishes. It's a real issue we.
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  Need to talk about that whole item.
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  Of dipping dishes. Yeah, because I had, I had my
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  Habad drive by with us in Orlando and after ask.
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  Yeah, it's. No, they even hold.
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  You need 2 ovens and two dishwashers.
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  Yeah, that's out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  Has he my partner Albert, he, he set out to go home, never found
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  my kitchen. He he's actually ripping out his
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  kitchen. Not really.
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  Yeah. So that's so these areas they
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  have to figure out. Now again, they have all the
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  hotel we don't have. We have all the hot they don't
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  have. And this scenario is if it's but
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  if it's extra like 2 dishwashers, for example, right?
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  They all they have to have to dishwasher that she gonna see
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  when that means this they believe have you wash out the
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  meat dishes and it's hot water and then you put in dairy dishes
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  and it's also warm water. It's going to re whatever,
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  right? We don't hold that way.
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  Wish we don't apply that. Yeah.
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  So now if she has a person eating by a Syrian home, is he
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  not going to eat? Of course he's going to eat.
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  What's he going to do about this?
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  He's going to understand that although that shouldn't be done,
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  it doesn't deem the dishes out sewed, right.
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  There are different levels. It's a Yeah.
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  And that's you have to find out which is which.
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  And especially if you're Mahmir, if you're a person that's
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  strict, most of us are never really that strict.
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  If you're a person who's carrying all the insurgencies,
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  make sure to know what's real and what's extra.
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  Call it cavo, do the extra. But doing your own home, do it
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  in private. I mean, they have examples of
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  great rabbis who, while their wife was a lie, middle classic
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  examples of our own age. Diamond, he's a rabbi from
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  Banana Brock. He says Banana Brock has been a
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  rocket while his wife was alive. He didn't keep his Sir in her
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  mouth for 70 years or so. She passed away.
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  He changed his Allahuat and asked him why?
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  Because all along you want to change.
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  I just didn't want to insult him.
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  So I was telling you, hold that to Allahuat and now you're not
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  doing it because you don't want to insult your wife.
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  Obviously he didn't consider it, how I consider it an extra.
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  And he made the decision to avoid insulting his wife.
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  And we have situations in our own home.
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  Sometimes we know our wife is doing something wrong or we
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  don't say anything. We look the other way because
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  you don't want to insult her. This is something that is based
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  on Mishka la Hasidud. You have to have the balance.
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  Now, again, you need to know what's toda, what's not toda.
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  But once you know and you find out what's extra, you couldn't
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  live with the extras color covered.
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  But avoid putting down the people, especially in scenarios
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  it's going to backfire again. Like you think it's not an
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  extra. Yeah, like I I, I had a short.
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  Story you. Know one of one of my friends,
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  he took his son and daughter-in-law and his brother
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  and his sister married to Israel and he made a day to go to the
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  winery and when he called up, they said they had a sukkah.
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  They got there, they don't have a sukkah.
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  So they said, OK, we're not going to eat, we're just going
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  to have wine right now. His brother-in-law started to
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  learn whatever. And now I'm making a whole deal.
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  I can't drink the one can't drink the one out of Suga some
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  something my friend never heard of.
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  And it turned the whole thing. And then everyone else started
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  questioning maybe we shouldn't be drinking the vodka.
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  And I see the guy spent like, you know, $2500 to do a tour and
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  a thing and the guy is giving them to taste the wine and every
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  guy's like, oh, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm
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  good. I have order and he my my friend
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  got home and. I'm sure he he.
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  Probably felt terrible. Terrible.
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  'S way like is that Aloha even a drop of wine?
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  Do you guys have no only issue with a wine?
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  I'm not sure. But regardless, that can't be.
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  That can't be. What?
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  Hashem. What do you do?
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  OK, now you're eating his sticky.
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  Let's just say it was. Let's say it was hollow.
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  Hollow. My he.
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  Has to do this where you go to the guy's house and they give
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  you something to eat and it looks disgusting.
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  You. You.
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  You know, you massage it, you move it, you play with it, you
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  do it. Yeah, You do one of these, you
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  put your lips on it. You know the Haim, you know, the
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  guy's down. You throw it over shoulder.
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  It's so many these, so many weeds, you know, and this guy in
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  the past was not religious at all, right?
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  So now that's. Part of the problem, right?
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  You understand that which is part of him oftentimes being a
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  little bit power. True ish is that he doesn't
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  really know about the other side of the coin, which is the fine
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  line. What would have been the move
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  Can't have the shoot is only it's only issue with the shoot.
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  You find a little drop, maybe have a little sketchy drop.
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  I mean, you can't make it, but aha, but no, I don't know the
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  ways. I'm pretty sure you can't have a
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  sit by said this guy. I think it's only a shoot.
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  It's about way to look up the other guy.
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  But regardless, again, if it's Allah and there's no way to get
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  around it. I told you I'll give you a
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  classic example. I've said this example before.
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  We discussed this as a rabbi, you go into a wedding invited to
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  a wedding. Do you go to a wedding of a
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  person who's not a situation that's not a monastery, right?
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  It's it's a suit to see in monasteries.
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  So what do you do $1,000,000 billion dollar question.
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  You're not going to the wedding. You go to the wedding.
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  I I just so I'll tell you the truth at times if I got there
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  too late. I said this in the class.
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  You get the dark. Classes.
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  I'm like exactly if I got there too late, which means if I I
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  ain't no better and I went at 11:00 to wait.
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  That was not my house. There has been times but I
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  turned around and left and the times I regretted doing so times
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  I felt it was right thing to do. So I don't know the answer all
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  the time. You figure out the finesse like
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  all the robbers of his ready when I spoke to is it in life
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  you got to do this, but that requires.
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  He goes into the. Disco.
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  He's exactly the house. Look at how.
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  He went everybody sits on the boardwalk, right on the beach
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  and puts on smoothing all day long and he has no idea what is
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  happening out there. Good.
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  Is this someone? Knows how to look at the person
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  without looking. Yeah, this is something the
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  other guy who would try to do that was not a trained was not
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  like camp does have the same maybe Avati Sao Michael they
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  went away with that it's very dangerous right.
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  So this is the thing, there are some people who have remote
• 15:38
  shoes who their family goes wild because it's not really good for
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  them to live in. You know, we have Acapulco, it's
• 15:45
  not so healthy to live Acapulco, whatever the place is.
• 15:48
  This is something that every person needs to have their own
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  fine compass. We said yesterday, you know, you
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  need to have for this couple of things.
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  One is good education, good upbringing.
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  You need to have parents who got you on the right track.
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  Well, your goal is good and you hope to get the right track.
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  In addition, you need to have outside people who give you
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  advice. If you rely on yourself and very
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  often, your conference can be completely messed up.
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  And these scenarios you can be too mahmir when you shouldn't be
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  in public or too lenient you shouldn't be.
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  There's been a lot of people out there.
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  I know so many people who have said to themselves in the kudu
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  world, kudu will be bringing people close.
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  The rabbis have many, many sessions about how to handle the
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  fact that you're connecting yourself to people in an out of
• 16:34
  your way. All right, A guy wants to know
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  if he should do keto with those who are drug addicts, should do
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  keto with them. Of course it should.
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  What about the fact that they're going to talk about that stuff?
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  Still do it. What about the fact that I might
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  make him open to these ideas? OK, risky.
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  That takes Michelle. You have to wait.
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  All right. On the other hand, if you ignore
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  talking to these people, they have no shot.
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  If no one ever got involved in in bringing other Jews closer,
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  you have no shot. There's nothing.
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  All the community rabbis they. Have that organization right.
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  They do, they have many in Israel.
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  They work on this very, very much and they talk about this
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  topic all the time. One of the biggest questions
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  that they have. But should you get involved?
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  You're not getting involved They and it makes yourself exposed to
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  things you never knew, right? And you're raveling this
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  community and you're Ravel community.
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  They expose themselves to things that they would otherwise not
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  really be so involved in. But you know, if they don't
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  expose themselves, I can't really they get involved in
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  marriages. There are things that they
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  didn't know where they can involve in different things,
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  right. They can involve in gambling
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  problems, whatever it be. They just things that they don't
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  have any connection do. But if they don't and now it's a
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  lunch, I probably just tell him he's all tell me this all the
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  time. I.
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  Remember the gambling thing before the Super Bowl is like
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  before he crossed the wire it it left such an impression in my
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  head because it was dead on. Yeah.
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  And it beams straight from the Ha Ha books.
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  And while he's talking all the time, yeah, he's talking all the
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  time. You have to be up to date to
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  what's going on in the community.
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  You need to be in the know. It'd be part of the scene.
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  And then you're going to address the community.
• 18:10
  You should tell me. It's all the time and but, but
• 18:13
  at the same time, you're making stuff open to things.
• 18:16
  You know, if obviously if you deal with the lower elements and
• 18:19
  things that obviously problems include little elements, but,
• 18:22
  but you have to know it. This is again a Mishkao.
• 18:25
  Often times it is taking people down where they be.
• 18:28
  You know, another example is a rabbi has become what they call
• 18:31
  friends with these lower elements.
• 18:33
  Not good for them. That's because they're
• 18:35
  connecting and they're helping. If they're friends, and I know
• 18:37
  these people, they often times become like they act like them a
• 18:40
  little bit and had that happened because they were friends, not
• 18:43
  supposed to be their friends, especially if they're at the
• 18:45
  lower element. He's supposed to be their rabbi.
• 18:47
  All this requires a great degree of balance, issue with rabbis
• 18:52
  and issue with all of us and our families, every one of us, in
• 18:56
  our families, in our businesses, in our shows, we face this
• 19:00
  challenge. We want to grow.
• 19:02
  We're pushing growth and we're trying to keep the family
• 19:04
  together. We're trying to keep every
• 19:06
  scene. OK.
• 19:07
  Now there have been times and you left your original group of
• 19:12
  friends. There have been times that that
• 19:14
  has happened and it was the right thing to do, right?
• 19:17
  Certain people who wanted to hold the balance together
• 19:21
  forever. What did it lead to?
• 19:23
  And never grew. They never grew at all because
• 19:26
  they're holding their friends together and they're trying to
• 19:29
  grow. But they still go to the same
• 19:32
  place on vacation every year because they they used to have
• 19:35
  crew and they still go to the same business together because
• 19:39
  they used to their friends and they couldn't break free.
• 19:42
  So although you have to have that mescal, which is that
• 19:45
  balance which allows things to work out, you also at times need
• 19:49
  to know when it's taking you down.
• 19:51
  Once again, this is something that requires advice, outsiders,
• 19:55
  parents, other people's perspective.
• 19:57
  What happens that the husband doesn't want to go, then he goes
• 20:01
  because the wife wants to go. Awesome.
• 20:03
  And then they pull that Shalom bite card and then that like the
• 20:07
  supposedly neutralizes everything.
• 20:09
  Yeah. It's like this is where Azer
• 20:11
  gun, yeah, this is where is really, really balanced, which
• 20:16
  is true. Shalom bite is key.
• 20:18
  And this is something that once in a while now some people and
• 20:22
  many wives, you know, a lot of people that ended up on the
• 20:24
  right path because the wife pushed little or the opposite
• 20:27
  boys put the other way over this now good or healthy shall invite
• 20:32
  the wife probably has an arsenal, two or three bullets,
• 20:36
  even the husband. And once in a while he pulls out
• 20:40
  this car and says, you know what, our family, we're not
• 20:44
  doing it. We're not doing that anymore.
• 20:47
  You can stand your head. We're not doing it right.
• 20:49
  If they have a solid marriage and a healthy situation once in
• 20:54
  a couple 10 years, you got to pull out this car.
• 20:57
  And if it's really some of the detrimental to your family and
• 21:01
  the wife is going one way and you're going another way in this
• 21:03
  area, I don't think that would that works there because because
• 21:07
  the once in 10 in the. Life, right, let's say now talk
• 21:10
  about vacation, like say whatever people going to ru log
• 21:14
  right, and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, right?
• 21:17
  Nothing, it's bad. It's not in your new path in
• 21:20
  2027. It's that way you see yourself
• 21:24
  taking the pen like OK, right now they tell you this old
• 21:27
  kosher yes, and they tell you there's minyanim yes, and they
• 21:30
  tell you there's rabbi and there's learning there's this
• 21:33
  all right, I've seen it all correct.
• 21:36
  It's beautiful, but not for you. Now you're going to pull that
• 21:40
  rank that you already went there 10 years in a row.
• 21:43
  Now you're 11, something clicked in your hand in one of the
• 21:46
  classes or whatever it is. They'd come home and say, all
• 21:48
  right, we're going to Orlando. Yeah, they're going to look at
• 21:52
  you like you had lanking that could kill you.
• 21:54
  Yeah, well, they're. Going to tell you so we'll we'll
• 21:56
  speak to you when we get back. OK, we are fine.
• 21:58
  Now introduction to that is true, but a major thing is
• 22:02
  before anyone ever makes these types of changes and as a major
• 22:07
  pulling the rug out, oohs, you got to be consistent.
• 22:11
  Consistent means am I really on that level in other areas or am
• 22:14
  I just on that level because they're going with the inlaws
• 22:18
  and not going with my side? In other words, no, no, you're
• 22:20
  right. OK.
• 22:21
  If you're really consistent, there's been a lot of guys out
• 22:24
  there. It's like the staff's almost 56.
• 22:25
  Is she almost like, is she expecting this to happen?
• 22:28
  Like it's not out of the blue in the way you went to.
• 22:29
  Class A 5th. She has no I'll see my.
• 22:31
  Son what? This one here has a fake Zach.
• 22:34
  I when I didn't want to go after I went one time and my wife was
• 22:39
  with me but my friend right my my wife was more repulsive than
• 22:44
  I was, so I didn't have that issue and we were able to to
• 22:48
  stop the kids and take them somewhere nicer and all
• 22:51
  forgotten by my friend. On the other hand, there's no
• 22:54
  way that his wife was having any fun.
• 22:58
  OK, then he has to. If it doesn't work, it doesn't
• 23:00
  work. You go along.
• 23:01
  I know some people in the community who the men are in
• 23:03
  great shape and their wives are borlancha me Shabbat, right?
• 23:07
  What do they do then? They work at the situation.
• 23:10
  They keep the sound of value intact and they work and that's
• 23:12
  going to be their job on life, probably the hardest.
• 23:15
  And they figure out their balance and oftentimes, most
• 23:17
  times they come along and eventually.
• 23:22
  You have to be calm and I have a friend stays in the room the
• 23:27
  whole weekend under geisha. There's not got to, no matter
• 23:30
  where they go. That guy's a Sadiq.
• 23:32
  Yeah, that guy's an. Impressive guy.
• 23:33
  He's in the room on Zoom with different rabbis to hold my.
• 23:36
  Why is he Sadiq? Because he doesn't hold of
• 23:38
  going, obviously, but he doesn't want to, you know, obviously he
• 23:41
  tried his family. Well, I didn't worse.
• 23:43
  The hell. Why is that beach Rabbi's
• 23:45
  family? They didn't think I don't want
• 23:46
  Arabia. It's not a hard, really.
• 23:48
  Yeah. He doesn't never brought it away
• 23:49
  from the family. It's a delicate area, but
• 23:52
  there's been many people who stopped going out to eat with
• 23:54
  certain people because they were eating on kosher.
• 23:56
  They stopped and they lost their friends.
• 23:57
  What do they do that balance? All these things require a
• 24:01
  certain degree balance. If you consistently yourself and
• 24:04
  now it's time to move ahead, you move ahead.
• 24:07
  It was not really a time yet you worked.
• 24:09
  You know, you still keep the same situation.
• 24:11
  You got to be consistent and there's no one answer at all.
• 24:15
  There's 01 answer. Every situation is different,
• 24:18
  but the overall theme is that you're not trying to do
• 24:21
  something just to do it. That's going to trigger or the
• 24:25
  and the opposite as well. You're not going to let it go
• 24:28
  and be evolved in sin. That's also true.
• 24:30
  Let's read this together on what's top, all right, Mitsu
• 24:33
  Hotin venena Shimayodo. You're going to cause sin
• 24:36
  sometimes. We're talking about situations
• 24:41
  where you could have not done this extra We're not talking
• 24:48
  about in such situations, it's definite.
• 24:53
  It's better off, you better off not doing that activity, which
• 25:01
  is officially more aggressively religious, than doing it.
• 25:05
  And it's going to trigger a bad thing.
• 25:06
  He brings up a suk, which is surprising connection.
• 25:09
  I want to stop with this. Go privately with Hashem.
• 25:15
  What is go privately with Hashem?
• 25:16
  It means be with Hashem, grow as a Jew, do more good.
• 25:21
  But sometimes you have to do it privately.
• 25:24
  Don't be the guy who's louder in public than he is in private,
• 25:28
  who seems more religious in public than he does in his
• 25:30
  family. Don't meet that guy who's, you
• 25:32
  know, saying a spiel about this. None the other thing and not the
• 25:36
  greatest guy in other areas. You got to be consistent.
• 25:39
  You go with us to be consistent. And he's special.
• 25:41
  When you're with the people around you and the community and
• 25:44
  these families in these worlds, you have to figure out how to
• 25:48
  walk this tightrope. If you get it, you've addressed
• 25:52
  the greatest thing in our in our world, which is fleeting.
• 25:55
  How to have balance If you don't, OK, I have to work.
• 25:59
  That's the idea.