Latest / Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive / April 15, 2018 | This Is Us - The Secret Antidote: Influencing Our Kids For God - Derek Rowe

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April 15, 2018 | This Is Us - The Secret Antidote: Influencing Our Kids For God - Derek Rowe · Topeka Bible Church Audio Archive

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I love that intro.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Good morning, church.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: How are you guys doing this morning?
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Wonderful.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you are visiting with us this morning, we are glad that you're here.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: You're here.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Derek Rowe, and I'm the student ministry pastor here at TBC.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we are in a series called This Is Us.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: So this entire series just started last week is about marriage, it's about parenting, it's about family, and how do we do that well?
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: How do we best accomplish that?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go ahead and start by praying this morning.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, thanks for your goodness to us.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you that you are a good, good father, as we just sang about.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for Jesus sending him to die on the cross for us so that when we put our faith in you, that we have eternal life.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Lord, I pray that your word would be spoken this morning, that you would use your spirit, that you would guide my words, and that they would be helpful for parents, they'd be helpful for grandparents, family members, and kids, and everyone who hears.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I've titled, and if you hear a baby crying, I claim her.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: She is mine.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: She's Gabby and I've said her name is A La Grace.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: She's four months old now.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I've titled this message, The Secret Antidote.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: The Secret Antidote, influencing our kids for God.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure you guys have heard all the different statistics that are out there.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: One of them, namely, that somewhere in the ballpark, of 75% of our churched kids, once they leave the house, once they're out of their parents' house, that they become disconnected from church, that they disconnect from their faith, disconnect from God.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: You guys have heard news stories, you've heard different experiences of racial issues, of different sexual identity issues that plague our kids, violence issues that plague our kids.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And when they're they're kind of confronted, when they're cornered with these different issues of life, it can cause them to pull back and say, I don't want to be connected with the church anymore.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to be connected with God.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure exactly what I believe because of all those issues.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so for us, especially as adults, as adult believers, I think we need to ask if there's anything that we can do.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do to help?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do for our kids and our grandkids and the kids who are in our Sunday school classes and our neighbors' kids?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do to help them live a life that's honoring to God?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do to best influence their post-at-home years so that they will choose to follow God, that they will choose to remain connected with the church?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's something that we can do.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna discover some of that this morning.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: First, in review of last week, we had the ABCs of parenting.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so the A is for good job.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: The B is for backbone.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, backbone, courageous parenting.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And the C is for consistency, perfect.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So here is a picture of my family.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: My wife, beautiful wife Gabby, is on the right, and we've been married, it'll be four years this coming July.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then the cute little bundle in the middle is Ayla Grace, and she is four months old now.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we love this beginning of the parenting journey and love, love that little girl.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So in parenting, I think one question that we all should assess is what's our goal here?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: What do we want to accomplish?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: What's the end result?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: What would have to happen for our kids in the future, 10 years down the line, 20 years down the line, for us to say, yes, that was a success.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: That was a good thing.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So to help us, we're actually gonna turn to a couple different studies to give us some findings.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So the very first is from a book called Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're familiar with the Barna group, they do a lot of research and polls across the nation, across the world.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And our second is called Nothing Less.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a study that actually just came out last year, 2017, and by Lifeway.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And what both of these studies attempt to do is to figure out what are the common factors?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Is there one major thing that parents have done or that kids have done that encouraged their kids to stay in the faith, to stay an active part of the church beyond their at-home years?
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got the revolutionary parenting study that was done in 2007, and the nothing less study done in 2017.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: And what's interesting, even though they're a decade apart, both of these studies point to the same answer.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're gonna discover some of the findings of those two studies because I think there's things in there that are helpful for us.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, first, 96% of parents agree that they consistently try to be better parents.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: This is a huge relief.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: That means there's a desire there that we actually want to get better at parenting.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: The only concern that I have about that particular statistic is what about the other 4%?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe they just don't care, which could very well be true.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: 24% of Christian parents agree that the child's faith is a mark of successful parenting.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: This is one that came out that was a little more troubling for me.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because basically, what they're saying, and of those who are surveyed, is that 75% of parents view other things as more important or view other things as success other than the faith of their child.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: That means that they view being really good at sports as a greater success.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: That means that they view getting good grades as a greater success.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: They view getting into a great college as a greater success.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: They view getting a good job and having a spouse and maybe having kids as a greater success.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So you guys have heard the phrase, I'm sure.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, you get what you measure.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or what gets measured is what gets done.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the same can be true of our parenting, depending on our goal.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: So if we want intellectuals, then we should be measuring how they are in their academics.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: We should be measuring their exposure to information, to ideas, to complex problems.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: If we want athletes, then the main things that we're going to measure is how often are they in practice?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Are they giving getting enough physical conditioning?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Are they making the right teams?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Are they making the next elite team?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: If we're measuring and we want relational people, then we should be looking at how connected are they with their friends, with their peers, how how popular are they?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: And those are all good things to measure.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Those are all things that you know I would probably hope for for our daughter.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: But we also need to ask what God measures.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: What is most important according to God?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so a quote by George Barna: what does God measure?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: Our hearts.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: That does not mean that we are supposed to ignore the significance of developing our child's intellectual, emotional, and physical dimensions, but it suggests that we have to see the bigger picture of God's priorities and raise our children in light of his standards, not ours or society's.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's critical for us.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because as we see that the thing, as we look throughout scripture, the thing that matters most is our relationship to God.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do we interact with God?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: How's our obedience with God?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: How is our faith with God?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then how does that play out into loving Him and loving other people?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: So how do we keep our kids from leaving the church after they're out of the house?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we've got to look somewhere.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: We've got to look for answers.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: As we sang in that last song, Good Good Father, we're searching for answers.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're gonna see is when it comes to this topic and parenting and raising godly kids, God is the one who has the answers.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: But where do people look?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: 91% to their experience growing up, 65% look to their parents for that type of advice, 62% look towards their friends, 58% their spouse, 46% look to a sacred text, and 43% look towards the church to find these parenting nuggets, this parenting advice.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so what we find out from this research is that less than half of the people surveyed looked to, for us would be the Bible, as our sacred text, and looked to the church for the answers to those questions.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that came out of the study was that they studied and saw here are the top five things, here are the most important things that parents were doing or that happened in the house to best predict, to best influence kids for God after high school.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: But there's also a list of things that didn't make it, that were not as great of an influence.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: And here's some of those, and we'll go through these pretty quickly.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Family meals, that the parents served the community in some type of way, that you reviewed your Sunday school lessons every single day after church.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Parents emphasized doing the right thing.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Parents encouraged their child's relationship with God, vacations, social media limitations or rules in the house.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Parents didn't miss any special events, no dance recitals, no football games.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: The family attended a solid church, Bible believing, great kids programs, preaching the word, all of that.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: The schooling choice, public school, private school, homeschool was not a great predictor.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Having their kids involved in sports or getting good grades or having a job by the time that they're a junior in high school or a senior in high school.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or even connecting with the youth pastor.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: That would be me.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Not a great predictor, not one of the most important predictors of if kids are going to stay connected with Christ, if they're going to stay connected to church post-high school.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: So what did make the list?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the top five.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, that the child was regularly in the Word, in the Bible.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, that the child was regularly in prayer.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Three, the child regularly served in church.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, that the child primarily listened to Christian music.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And number five, that they participated in mission trips.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: Those were the top five things.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: But even of those five, one came out far and above the others.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's number one, that the child was regularly in the word as they were growing up.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's probably true, I don't know each of your stories, but as you look back on your own life, especially if you are a believer and you look back at the point where that relationship between you and God became more serious, where you kind of made that turn into having that intentional pursuit of Christ as he pursues us, chances are is when we started getting into the Word.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's when we started reading our Bible more.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's when we started hearing from God more.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's the way it was for me, and that didn't start until my freshman year of college.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Now I've got a question for you guys, and so far we've struck out the last two services.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you have heard of the Logan Sport Berries?
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Three for three, we're doing good.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the Logan Sport Berries, it's where I went to high school.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: In a town called Logansport, Indiana, about 20,000, and our slogan was the berries.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: That was kind of our nickname.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else, I'm sure, in the country has had that.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody's ever probably even thought to name a team the berries, but that's what it was.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I bring this up is because I want to give you an insight into my high school typical day.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so basically it started out wake up, go to class, be in class all day, go to sports practice after that, leave sports practice about 5, go to work, get home at about 9, 9:30, something like that, go to sleep, and do it all over again.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: And as I meet with students, as I hear some of their stories here at TBC, a lot of theirs are very similar.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Just being packed with all of these things.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: And notice what I didn't include in my personal day.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't include any Bible reading.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't include any prayer.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: There was no mission trip in there.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: There was no serving in the church in there, there was not listening to any Christian music in there.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And at that time, my relationship with Christ showed.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I was a Christian.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I trusted Christ as my Savior, but there was no intentional pursuit.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: There was no growth.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: There was no pursuing of Christ.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so while it's great to have personal stories, while it's great to have research, it's great to have studies, the ultimate thing that we need to look at is what's the word of God say?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: What does God say about this issue?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Does he give us any instruction on how we are to parent, on how we're to grandparent, on how we're to impact the kids who are in our Sunday school classes, or how do we impact our nieces and nephews who live with us, or the ones that we only see once or twice a year?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: What can we do as believing adults?
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: So to help us, we are gonna check out the Old Testament.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna look in the book of Deuteronomy.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you have your Bibles, open up to the book of Deuteronomy, it's Old Testament, chapter six, and we're gonna look at verses four through nine.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Verses four through nine of Deuteronomy chapter six.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna discover a blueprint that God has for us of how this parenting thing, what are some key components in order to raise godly kids?
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we'll have the words on the screen as well if you don't have your Bible with you.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Starting in verse 4.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: These words that I'm giving you today are to be in your heart.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: Repeat them to your children.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about them when you sit in your house, and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: So our first main point this morning is that God must come first.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: God must come first in our lives.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so the very beginning of that, even before we dive into the parenting part, is to know if God is our savior or not.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: I like this.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Trust God, when we trust God, the future always holds hope.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Even for Charlie Brown, who always misses the football.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: So the very beginning, before we jump into parenting and how we do it and getting into the word and all that, we've got to have a relationship with Christ.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: We've got to trust him as our savior.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the most important thing.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've never trusted Christ as your savior this morning, I would I would encourage you.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to God about that this morning.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Pray to God, confess those sins to him and trust him for your eternal salvation through the price that he paid on the cross.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 4: listen, Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And something critical about this intro to the passage, about this intro to this message that God is giving Israel just after he's delivered the Ten Commandments a chapter ago, is to emphasize that there's only one God.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time, this would have been very real to Israel.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: As there were nations around who are worshiping all kinds of other gods, all kinds of idols, all kinds of things.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_00: But this is equally important for us because by the way that we spend our time, by our focus, by the way that we spend our money, it can actually show a lot of what we truly worship.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: What we truly worship as our God.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so God wants us to know that He's the only one.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that there's other gods and they're just lesser or less important, but that there are no other gods, and He is in fact number one for us.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: This means that it's more than just a Sunday thing.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: That means it's more than just a few hours out of the week thing, but it's going to take our minds, it's going to take our hearts, it's going to take our hands, being engaged in the work of God every single day.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: And Jesus actually says this exact same thing.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: This is the first and the greatest commandment.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So we see it in the Old Testament, God giving it to Israel, we see it in the New Testament, Jesus saying this exact same thing about how critical it is.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so we have to ask, well, how do how do we love God?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Practically, what's that look like?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: One of the main ways that we love God, and something that God puts a premium on, is our obedience to him.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is our obedience to him.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: 1 John 5, 3.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And we see multiple other texts throughout Scripture, where basically it says, If you love me, you'll obey my commands.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Or if you obey my commands, that's showing that you love me.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we see this through several other verses, especially as it relates to kids.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 6 1.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Exodus 20, verse 12, Honor your father and mother, then you will live a longful life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 1, 8 and 9.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, my son, to your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Colossians 3 20, children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now I try, I honestly try really hard to implement, not perfect at it, but I try, to implement God's word into our home.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And especially for Ayla.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: And when it comes to obedience, this is one of the things I'm trying to work on with her.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: So when she's crying and crying and crying, and mom might be a little busy, but she needs to eat, I'm saying, hey, Ayla, you gotta be patient.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: You have to wait.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: Don't cry.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: She cries anyway.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or, okay, Ayla, now it's time for you to take a nap, or now it's time for you to go to bed.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: And she doesn't do it.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: I can't quite figure it out, but we're trying to start early.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're trying to get on that obedience path, and we're hoping that she'll stick with it as we go on.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_00: An interesting stat is that 29% of Christian parents say their personal faith plays the most significant role in their approach to parenting.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: That means that 70% of the Christian parents surveyed would say that their personal faith is not the greatest influencer.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: That other things are the greatest influencer.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: And what we're going to discover as we have through those first two verses, and we will continue to learn through the rest, is that our personal faith is actually one of the most important, one of the most significant parts of raising our godly kids to follow Him past high school.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: So our second point we must internalize the word.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: We must internalize the word.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Deuteronomy 6 6.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: These words that I'm giving you today are to be in you.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your heart are to be in your heart.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a quote by Tom Raynor, who's the CEO of Lifeway.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: The more time we spend in God's Word, the more we become like Him.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine what would happen in our churches, in our nation, and in our world if all believers were experiencing the transforming power of God's Word on a daily basis.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine what that would be like.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: If we've got believers who are committed to loving God, committed to obedience, who are living their lives guided by the Word, guided by God.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: And some of you might have heard of kids across America before.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: This is a camp that I did eventually end up working at in college, a Christian camp.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're very closely connected with CanaCup camps down in Missouri.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: And as I was interviewing my freshman year of college for this camp, a question that the interviewer asked me really struck me.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the question that he asked me was this How often do you get into the Word?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Well, well, I'm thinking actually to myself, this is a Christian camp.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is a Christian interview.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably tell the truth.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: That would be a good place to start.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: So I said, Well, honestly, I only get into the word when I'm in church on Sunday.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's the time.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: If the pastor's preaching and says, open up to a certain passage, then that's when I get into the word.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then he followed it up with another question.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: He asked me, How are you going to influence kids and teach them the ways of God if you are not in the Word yourself, learning what the ways of God are?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Man, that that stuck me.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because that was one of the first times that I'd ever been really rejected in my life.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so I didn't get the job at that camp that summer.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And that was one of the things that really motivated me, kind of kick-started me, of thinking, wow, I know Christ is my savior.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: I know I believed.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do believe, but I haven't been pursuing that personal relationship with Jesus.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been getting into the word.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't been praying.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I haven't pursued that fellowship.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was one of the things that kind of kicked me into gear to taking Christ more seriously, to taking my relationship and that fellowship with Him more honestly.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 6:4.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we see a similar theme, but we also have to know that if we are going to bring up our kids in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, we first have to know what that discipline and instruction is.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because we can't bring them up in something, we can't pass along something that we don't first have ourselves.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we've seen that in multiple areas of life.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can't pass something on to somebody else.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: You can't give somebody something that you don't first have yourself.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: George Barna has a quote, and they must see you investing in your own spiritual growth before they will accept the importance of their personal commitment to becoming a genuine disciple of Jesus Christ.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think of how serious that is.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think of how true that is.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: That if we want our kids, if we want our grandkids, if we want our kids who are in our neighborhoods to see God as awesome, to see God as really important, then we have to know Him ourselves.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be engaged in that personal relationship with Him.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then our third point, third main point, we must have God conversations.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: We must have God conversations.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by God conversations is as we're going throughout our day, as the kids are coming home from school, as they skin their knee on the ground, as they're as you're taking a vacation and going boating, how do you incorporate God into those everyday situations of life?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: What are those teachable moments that you can bring up?
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: What are the times when God has answered prayer for you and you share that with your kids?
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: What are the times when you've seen God come through in your life and you share that with your kids?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I mean by God conversations.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And we see that in the last couple verses.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Deuteronomy 6, 7, repeat them, talking about the ways of God, the laws of God.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Repeat them to your children.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that I love, especially about verse 7, is that it takes a lot of talking.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: It takes a lot of conversations with our kids because he says, talk about them basically all day long.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: When they wake up in the morning, how are you going to talk about God and his ways?
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: When you're at lunch, how do you talk about God and his ways with your kids?
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: When they're in the afternoon, maybe taking a nap, how do you talk about God and his ways?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: When you put them down to bed at night, how do you talk about God and his ways with your kids?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because God knew that this was so important for the children, the next generation of Israel, if they were going to follow him, they needed to hear these stories from their parents.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: They needed to see how God worked on a consistent, on a regular basis.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: One of these comes down to time.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: And as we look at this, millions of parents, this is George Barna quote, millions of parents have accepted the idea that they have to make a choice.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: They must either give up careers and self-fulfillment and spend a lot of time with their children, or spend limited time but deeply enriching time with them while maintaining the same level of vocational involvement.
• 28:21
  SPEAKER_00: Over the last 15 years, various studies have shown that this switch has diminished the impact of parents.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the lie about the choice involved has hurt both parents and children, leaving a large proportion of young adults feeling as if they were not adequately parented, and a shockingly high number feeling that they lacked a father figure in their lives.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just like we read in verse 7 in order to have the best impact, the most important impact for our kids, we have to spend time with them.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be there with them.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: We have to have those conversations.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be able to sit down for 15 minutes and have enough margin in our day where if they have questions or we just want to share something with them, we can sit down and listen for 10 minutes or 15 minutes.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: And we can talk and we can respond and we can think about that issue.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_00: One of the difficult things with doing this, especially now, and I think most of us can agree and have experienced this, is that in today's world we are so busy with all kinds of things.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily all bad things, but just all kinds of things.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that prevents these constant conversations with our kids or our grandkids is just how busy we are.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we hear stories constantly, especially through the youth ministry, is that it's wake up and then hurry up so we can maybe get a cereal or breakfast bar on your way out the door, and hopefully you have both shoes on your feet so you can get to school on time, and then you go to school, and then you hurry up because you got a practice that's coming up right after school, and then you hurry up because you got to take another sibling over to soccer, and then you hurry up because you realize it's 9:30 at night and you haven't eaten anything yet, and then you hurry up because, oh, I forgot I've got this assignment due tomorrow, and mom, I really need help.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: So we hurry up and get that done, and then you hurry up and go to sleep, so hopefully they get enough time to go to bed.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then you hurry up and do it all over again the next day.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think all of us, if not most of us, have been there.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: We've been in that cycle of we just have to do everything because there's not enough time.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: And kind of like my schedule was in high school, the Bible reading time wasn't in there, the prayer time wasn't in there, the serving time wasn't in there.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so we face this battle, and we have to, we have to battle that in our families, we have to battle that in our homes so that we do have margin, so we do have time to have these God conversations if one of our main goals is to raise spiritual champions, if one of our goals is to raise kids who follow Christ after they leave the house, who stay connected to the church.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so a resource that will be coming out towards August is a book that I've written called 52 Conversations to Have With Your Teen.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's specifically for busy parents, for busy grandparents, for people who are on the go all the time, who after looking back on the last week or the last month, realize wow, I haven't had many, if any, good spiritual conversations with my kid or my grandkid.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so what this book will do is it'll have 52 conversations, one for each week of the year, so that at least you can spend three to five minutes reading the couple of paragraphs for each question.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can engage your kid, engage your grandkid in a conversation that's meaningful.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: It may take five, ten, fifteen minutes to have that conversation, but at least you know that you are engaging them in something that matters, in something that is God focused.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then there's a scripture to go and a little write-up to go with each of those sections.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I encourage you guys to check that out.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: The book of Joshua has a great picture for us.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: And this is just after Joshua and the Israelites have crossed the Jordan River.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: Very similar to in the past, when Moses and the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, and God parted the waters and let them walk through on dry ground.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want you to see this picture.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: The people came up from the Jordan on the tenth day of the first month and camped at Gilgal on the eastern limits of Jericho.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Then Joshua set up in Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken from the Jordan.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: And he said to the Israelites, In the future, when your children ask their fathers, what is the meaning of these stones?
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: You should tell your children, Israel crossed on dry ground.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed over.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so what he's saying there, what God is saying there is, once your kids get older and they start asking, Hey mom, hey dad, what's that big old pile of rocks out there for?
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: You can say, Well, I'm certainly glad that you asked.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's a marker of what God did for us.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: That's a marker and a reminder that God helped us through, that he cleared the water, that we could walk through on dry ground.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's how cool God is.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's how amazing God is, that He is active in our lives.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's why we have those stones there.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: And God even tells us why we should respond that way.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: This is so that all the people of the earth may know that the Lord's hand is mighty, so that you may always fear the Lord your God.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's why those conversations are so important.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's why those rocks, those reminders in our lives are so important.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: So we can tell our kids, we can tell our grandkids, we can tell our neighbors, God's been up to some good things.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: God has come through, God has been faithful, God is real in our lives, and He's that important that I want to share that with you.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so a question that we can ask is what do our homes say about us?
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: As we think about our houses, as we think about what happens inside of our houses, if our houses could talk, what would our homes say about us?
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a story of a Japanese girl who wanted to come to America and she wanted to see what the American life was like for a week.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_00: And she specifically wanted to stay with a Christian family to see how they worshiped God.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so she came over and spent a week over Christmas.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: And she stayed with this American family.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: And on Sunday, she went to church with the family and she saw them opening the Bible, saw them reading scriptures, saw them praying and praising God and giving and serving and all of those things.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: And she thought, man, this is awesome.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is great how they worship God.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then she went home with the family for the rest of the week.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she got to the end of the week, and as the host mother asked her, you know, what's your experience been like?
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: How have you enjoyed it?
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: What's how have you liked seeing, you know, kind of Christian family and how we worship?
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: And she said, Well, you know what?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_00: On Sunday, it was great.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: I saw how you worship this God that you say that you worship.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: I saw you singing to him, I saw you getting into the Bible, I saw you doing all of those things.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I didn't see any of that at your house.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't see it at home, and I missed that.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so the mother, the host mother felt convicted.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: And she thought, man, you know what?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_00: She's right.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: There's no Bible reading that's been happening at our house.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: There's no prayers that have happened in our house.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing on the walls that would indicate this is a Christian home and God is really important.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_00: There weren't God conversations happening in that home.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about that as a reminder for my home.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think about that as a reminder for all of our homes.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do we confine God to Sunday or a Bible study or a midweek or an awana?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or do we see God consistently throughout our whole week?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: Do we do we have those conversations in our home?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: Are we getting into the Word at home?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: Are we praising God at home for all He's done?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: Are we incorporating Him into our everyday life?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I think is really cool about our home, and we absolutely do not have a perfect home by any means, but one of the cool things that Gabby does is she'll write down verses on note cards.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_00: Just kind of randomly, whenever she feels like she would like to.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: And she'll post them.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so right now we've got different Bible verse cards that are on the mirror in our bathroom.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we've got Bible verse cards that are above the sink.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're doing dishes, we can see those different verses.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's honestly not for the outward show, not necessarily for other people, though it might be able to benefit them, but it's more for us.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's more for us when we're not thinking godly things, when we are getting frustrated, when we are getting overwhelmed, when we need to refocus on God, those things are there as reminders for us, as symbols of God's goodness to us.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I encourage you just to think about that, analyze that for your homes and think, wow, if my home could talk, would it know, would it say anything about Christianity?
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: Would it say anything about God and how important He is in my life?
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna review those top three points.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, God must come first.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: God must come first in our hearts and in our minds.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, we must internalize the word.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: That means we have to spend time with God every single day.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, we must have these God conversations.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: We must engage our kids.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_00: We must engage each other as couples.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: We must engage in God conversations on a regular basis.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I've got some challenges for us.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: And what I'd like for all of us to do is to take one of these.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to take all three.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: Just take one of these challenges and try it this week.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, if you haven't prioritized God in your thoughts and using Him and using the Word as the lens through which you filter all of your actions and your words and your thoughts, that has to come first.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_00: Love the Lord your God with everything that you have.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: So prioritize God.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, get into the Word daily.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: Get into the Word on a daily basis, every single day.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_00: Even if it's five minutes, even if it's one verse that you read, even if it's just a few moments that you spend with God, start there and then build upon that.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_00: Get into the word daily.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_00: And number three, have God conversations.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_00: Have God conversations.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_00: Think about this past week and just think how many conversations have I had with my spouse or my kid or my grandkid or my nephew that related to God and showed his goodness, showed his faithfulness, showed how awesome he is.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_00: Have those God conversations.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: One of the beautiful things is that we as adults, we as Bible-believing adults, God-fearing adults, we have an opportunity to make a serious difference in the life of our kids and our grandkids and the kids who are in our Sunday school classes, and the ones who are our neighbors to us who maybe don't have believing parents.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: We can have this enormous impact, but it's not because we have some special power, we are these awesome people.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be because of the word of God.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to be because of God's word speaking to our lives first, impacting us first, and then flowing out to our kids and our grandkids and our neighbor kids and other people who we come into contact with.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd encourage you, do those three things.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_00: Prioritize God, get into the word daily, and have God conversations on a regular basis.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_00: And what will happen, I think what will happen, is we're going to see kids in the future, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, who are more connected with God, who are more connected with the church because they saw how real and how awesome our God is.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let's pray.
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_00: Heavenly Father, thank you for your goodness to us.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for the cross.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for salvation.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you that you don't just leave us to flounder to figure out the main building blocks of life, but you actually give us your word.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: You give us this template in Deuteronomy.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: You give us the key things that we should be doing.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_00: And number one is to have our personal relationship with you and then to have that spill over to our kids.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_00: Help us to do those three things well.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_00: Prioritize you, get into the word, and have God conversations.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're dismissed.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: Have a good afternoon.