Latest / R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E. / Auditioning for Approval: Stop Performing, Start Living

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Auditioning for Approval: Stop Performing, Start Living · R.E.A.L. Talk for REAL L.Y.F.E.

• 0:00
  Welcome to Real Talk for Real Life, where we're realizing everyone is always
• 0:06
  learning and living your full experience.
• 0:11
  I'm your host, Coach C, and this is Season 4, Episode 2, Auditioning for Approval.
• 0:19
  Today's episode, this one right here, this is the one.
• 0:24
  Because whether we admit it or not, almost all of us have auditioned for approval
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  at some point in our lives.
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  And at my big age, I simply cannot perform for praise. I can't do it.
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  There's a quote that says, to thine own self be true.
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  And honestly, that's it, y'all. That is it. That's all.
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  Now, let me ask you something. Why is we always auditioning for somebody else's approval?
• 1:02
  Yes, I know my grammar is wrong. I said it exactly how I wanted to say it.
• 1:09
  Because that's how exhausting it sounds. Why is we trying to convince people to pick us?
• 1:19
  To like us? To validate us? To approve of us?
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  When does somebody else's opinion become the casting director of our lives?
• 1:30
  The truth is, most of us didn't wake up this way.
• 1:34
  We were conditioned. As children, we'd learn to perform.
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  Maybe you became the good child, the quiet one, the responsible one,
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  the smart one, the funny one, the athlete, the peacemaker, the caretaker.
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  We learned early that certain behaviors earned applause.
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  Parents smiled. Teachers rewarded us.
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  I remember myself getting super kid awards in elementary school.
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  I've got the pictures to prove it. Good grades, good behavior,
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  following directions, staying on task, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with encouragement.
• 2:20
  But somewhere along the way, many of us stopped performing because it was excellent,
• 2:26
  and started performing because we needed to be accepted.
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  That's where it gets dangerous because once approval becomes your fuel,
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  authenticity starts running on empty.
• 2:40
  You begin filtering everything. Should I say this? Should I wear that?
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  Should I post this? Should I dream this big? Will they like it? Will they understand?
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  Will they stay? Will they approve?
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  Pretty soon, you're living a life that's been edited for everyone else's comfort.
• 3:03
  Meanwhile, you become a stranger to yourself.
• 3:07
  Can I tell you something that changed my perspective?
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  I always say I'm endorsed by the greatest, not because I'm arrogant,
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  not because I think I've arrived, but because my validation was settled long
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  before somebody hit like, long before somebody invited me to the table,
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  long before someone recognized my gift.
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  God signed off on my purpose before people ever form an opinion about me.
• 3:39
  That's why I refuse to spend my life chasing applause that disappears as quickly as it comes.
• 3:47
  Here's what I've learned. The same people clapping for you today might criticize you tomorrow.
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  The same crowd asking you to fit in will wonder why you never stood out.
• 4:00
  People are inconsistent. God isn't.
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  So why would I build my confidence on something that changes with the weather?
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  Here's the truth. God didn't create you to win a popularity contest.
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  He called you before anyone applauded you. Let me say that again.
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  He called you before your family agreed, before your boss noticed,
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  before social media followed, before your friends understood,
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  before your critics stopped talking,
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  your assignment was never dependent upon unanimous approval.
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  In fact, if you read scripture, many of the people God used most were misunderstood
• 4:46
  by the very people around them.
• 4:49
  Here's another thought. Every yes you force to gain acceptance often calls you a no to yourself.
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  Every mask you wear to keep people comfortable slowly suffocates the person God created.
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  At some point you have to decide, am I building a life that reflects my purpose or.
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  Or one that simply collects approval, because those aren't the same thing.
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  Listen, I'd rather disappoint people by being authentic than disappoint God
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  by abandoning who he created me to be.
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  And hear me when I say this, there comes a season where you stop introducing
• 5:35
  yourself with an audition and simply walk into the room knowing who sent you.
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  No performance, no pretending, no proving, just purpose.
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  So stop trying out for roles and lies where you were never meant to stay.
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  Stop shrinking so insecure people feel comfortable. Stop apologizing for your growth.
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  Stop waiting for permission from people who didn't give you your purpose.
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  Walk like you're already chosen, because you are.
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  Remember this, if God has already approved your assignment, why are you still
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  waiting for the audience to approve your entrance?
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  That's your real talk for today. Keep learning, keep living,
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  and never confuse applause with assignment.
• 6:29
  This is Real Talk, where we're realizing everyone is always learning and living your full experience
• 6:38
  Make sure you're following me on Instagram and Facebook at Real Talk for Real
• 6:43
  Life That's L-Y-F-E for more inspiration, merchandise, and motivation between episodes
• 6:51
  This is Coach C. I'll see you in the next one.