Latest / Locatora Radio [A Radiophonic Novela] / Capítulo 047: Spilling Tea with Curly V.

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Capítulo 047: Spilling Tea with Curly V. · Locatora Radio [A Radiophonic Novela]

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Radio. Radio radiois a myth and bullshit radio phonic novella
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: local radio hosted by Malamnola La locomotives. Welcome back to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: local radio. Welcome back, Welcome back. This is Mala and
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: this is Diosan and as always we are last locals
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: recording here in Boil Heights at ESPA eighteen thirty nine,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Radio Spasio. Thank you for joining us, Thank you for
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: joining us. Quick shout out to Radopas nine. We have
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: new mic, We got new equipment. Aren't they beautiful? For
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: those on the YouTube who can see, they're gorgeous. We're
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: so happy they're here. You know, the other mics, they
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: got the job done. They were a little old, kind
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: of rusty. The contraption would snap back all the time,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: worried going to hit us in the face. They were
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: kind of dangerous to be all right, all right anyway, anyway, Okay,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: so look at that our radio. Who we are? We
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: are a radio phonic novella archiving the legacies, geniuses and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: brilliance of women and fems of color. Yes we are,
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: that's who we are. That's what we do. Thank you
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: so much for tuning into Capitol. Why didn't I see
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: at it for Spanish speakers out there. Last time on
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: look at That our radio, say forty six, we interviewed
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Andrea la cell and discussed the intersections of disability and Latini. That. Yes,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: we did, and that was a great episode. Thank you
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: so much Andrea for coming for talking to us. We
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: learned a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot. Please
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: check out that episode if you have not yet, check
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: out because that's our first time really discussing Latini DA
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: and the disabled experience. Yes, yes, so we're super happy.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Thankful to Andrea for sharing her experience with us and
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: coming on too. Look at that our radio. Absolutely so
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: we had a Yes, so we have a full length
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: for you today, lives a long one. You're gonna love it.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: It's very so. Our structure is a little bit different today.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna recap and talk about some stuff and
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: then we're we have a guest for the second half
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: of our interview. Oh do we have a guest? We have?
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Do we ever? We have a guest? So a lot
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: has been going on. Yes, it's been an exciting past
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: few weeks. It's been a weird summer. We've talked about that. Okay,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Also happy September one. By the time you're hearing this,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: it will be the first few days of September. August
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: was the fucking longest month of my year. It was
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: a long month, and it was a weird month. It
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: was a weird month. Yeah, we didn't really get to
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: record in August, which was kind of sad for us.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: It was, but we both, each of us were both
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: dealing with things on and off. We took turns. We
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: took turn we rotated. We're back, we're back. Thank you
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: for hanging with us, Yes, and thank you if you're
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: tuning in for the first time and all of that.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: So let's get into our recap. Yes, so where to begin?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Where to begin? So last Saturday, August, I believe we
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: had our Pierna party at Delicious Pizza. Shot out everybody
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: who came through out out to our listeners. We had
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: babies there, we had moms, we had students from out
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: of state. Pierna's everywhere, Yes, everywhere, as far as I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: could see. It was a good time. We want to
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: shout out staff who comes out to almost all of
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: our events. Steph. Shout out girl. We met her where Yes,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: he got Readrason and all of that that event, that's
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: where we first met her, and she has been coming
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: to our stuff ever since. Yeah, we love you, so
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: shout out to Steph and our other locomotives are other
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: listeners they came. I thought it was so cute because
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: one of our listeners one up to another listener and
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: was like, are you are Yes, so cute and I'm like, yes, Bill,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: community with each other. Yes, that's literally why we hosted this.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: We had a listener that happened to be visiting from Minnesota.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: I had family in l A. So so so she came
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: out and came and she came out and hung out
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: with us, and it was so funny because when we
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: when we first saw her, she didn't approach us, and
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: she didn't approach us for a while. But Mala said,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I think she's a listener. She's wearing pink satin pants.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I could tell. And yes, she was a listener after all.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: We had a listener from the Inland Empire, from the
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: San Fernando Valley Um from l A like local Sizzle
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: was there. Sizzle was there, spinning, spinning in the hots
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: on a flight to San Francisco to goal. Keep working.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Sizzle doesn't stop she hustles like no other and we
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: love her for it, yes, and we love her for
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: always providing like the proper tunage at our events. So
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: thank you, Sizzle, we appreciate you, and thank you to
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Delicious Pizza for allowing us to host our event there.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah it was a cute time, okay, but like there
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: was some drama before the Vietna party and like I'm
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: still like not over it. So we have our step
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: and Repeat that we purchased and we got designed with
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: our logo for look, I thought a live a podcast
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: party for our live show back in the spring, so
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: we wanted to use the Step and Repeat for the
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Piana party for pictures and stuff. So Yosa came to
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: my house and we were going to car pull over
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: to Delicious Pizza. So like I'm getting ready to pull
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: out all of our equipment and stuff so that once
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Theosa gets there, we'd like pile in the car and go.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: So I kid you not. I bring down like the
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: different elements of the Step and Repeat and I set
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: them down like right in front of my gate at
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: my house. And what it was is these two like
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: square metal like bases that you stick the frame of
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: the step and repeat into if you can imagine that.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You know, it's just to anchor the step, and they're
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: heavy pieces of metal like and they're big, um like,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: it was hard for me to carry them. Within five minutes,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I ran into the house like real quick to grab
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: other ship. And when I came out, like Yosa was
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: there and those metal pieces were gone. They were just gone.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, oh, maybe the Yosa like
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: picked them up and put them in the car like
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: she was packing things up. So like I asked her,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: did you see them? And she like, no, bitch, we
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: got robbed. Bit somebody walked by my house and just
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: picked up our ship and walked off with it. And
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I know it's one of my fucking neighbors. Well, the
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: good thing is our stepan repeat was not stolen repeat
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: it just not the metal plate, just the metal plates
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: that were heavy. And so people have parties and events
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: in my neighborhood all the time. So you better fucking
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: believe if I see those ships being used at someone's
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: fucking like party, I'm gonna say something because you cannot
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: just steal Look at that equipment out at the front
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: of my house, What is the deal? So that was fun,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: you know, but we lived to find another day fart
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: of the disrespect. We were like driving and I was like, Mama,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: this is samphobious. So they don't want to let us live,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: like they don't wanted to take pictures. They don't want
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: to take pictures. It's so rude. And this also just
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: reminded me like, in spite of the gentrification, like the
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: ship is still real, you know what I mean, God
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: fucking damn it. So that was cute. But we have
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: other things that we've been in evolved in and work right.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: We did a lot of FEMC stuff this time, yea.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: So we wrapped up our contract, we wrapped up our
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: our residency as Levittslion. So shout out to Levitt for
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: giving us the opportunity to work with them and to
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: fancy and to meet the artists that they booked for
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: the summer. Bringing you free live shows at MacArthur Park. Absolutely, um,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: we need to see it for a bunch of people. Yes,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: bringing the music, bringing the arts to making it accessible
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: and making it free to underserve communities that don't necessarily
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: get to see art, right, don't get to see live shows.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: So that was the purpose of having it at MacArthur Park.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So we were super happy to align with them and
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: helped make this project possible. And our last show was
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: amazing because we got to fancy for Florida, the Florida
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Women's Mariachi Group Grammy Award winners. Yes, like they're amazing.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: They're so good. We got to see them live, see
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: them behind behind stage, back stage. Um, we haven't posted
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: our photo. We haven't posted our photo with them, but
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: they're just phenomenal, incredible. Follow them on Spotify. Mal and
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I were blasting their album the other dayly driving together. Yes,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: So they're just so good. Check them out if you
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: haven't and if you were there for the show, you
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about. If you've seen them live,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: you know what we're talking about. Their music like destroyed me.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: I was like, drag me, yeah, like like that, You're like,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I gotta go, I can't be here right. I was okay, okay,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: you added me all you added added me, Like I
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: get it, and you're not. You know what. I'm very
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: comfortable me myself for two reasons, completely replacing mariachi culture
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: with completely fem queer mariacci. So I love mariachi quities.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: If you've never seen them performed, they're amazing, and they're
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: very theatrical and hilarious. They added lots of comedy, um,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: and like they have like Corey oh, and they kind
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: of have little skits that they do, you know, like
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: it's such a cute, fun experience, and they're very vocally talented.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: And then like I love three as I love Florida.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: They're fucking killing it. And then we have the experience
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: of even today like walking through Mariachi Plaza and the man,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: the straight man, Mariachis are a mess and the fathers
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: We're replacing all of mariachi culture with like fa Mariachi's
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: that's it, right, right, tired of it? Right? Yes, Well,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: they're really amazing. They're so good. Also, you mentioned that
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: um is media is. Yesda is Migel's cousin. Media is
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Miguel's cousin. Miguel. So San Pedro, we got a okay,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: so we got fact checked by my man again again.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Um because so my man works in the Harbor, he
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: works in San Pedro, he works in the South Bay.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: And he said Miguel is not from Santa Monica. Miguel
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: is from San Pedro. He's from the projects in San
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Pedro that the white folks like to deny exists. So
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: he said, it's very important that we make it known
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: that Miguel is actually from San Pedro. Okay, so the
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: correction has been issued. All right, bro, we don't like
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: I don't like to be correct right right, but we
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: got fact checked. I can't do it. I really don't
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: respond well to it. Like I just don't like reel supervisors, right,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I don't like male authority figures. You know what he is?
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: The thing is, my man is such a daddy. He's
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: such like he's true and not like we've talked about
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: not a daddy and like yes daddy, Like he's a
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: foppy like he'll check me like you need to do
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: this and not and not in like a controlling way.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: But it's like get your ship together. It's very paternal.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Yes he is, he is totally so he's fucking fact
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: chegging us so anyway, So anyways, but yes, media, right,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: so she's cousins with Mi Guels, so very musical family
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: and musical family in the game. Love it. Yes, what
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: else did we have going on? Also what we discovered
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: at lovett okay. So it was funny because obviously we
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: needed to do our announcements in English and in Spanish.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Obviously did the English and they also did all the Spanish.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I swear to you, I need to have a recording
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: because we need to show you what this is. Yosa
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: has the ill like when you see on announcer like voice, yes,
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: the whole thing, the rhythm, the like tone, all of
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: it hire her. You know, I will attribute this to
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: my dad, like beating Spanish. And now he didn't actually
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: physically beat me, but you know what I mean, like
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: being very strict, the emotional beating of speaking Spanish at
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: all times. And also I listened to um okay love,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I listened to one or seven point five. I listened
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: to ninety six point three in the morning, and a
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: lot of it is like very misogynistic and it's very
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: like ship that I don't want to be listening to.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: But I like hearing Spanish radio, you know what I mean.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, Okay, I like the music. I can
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: do without a lot of this misogyny and a lot
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: of this like millennial hate. But I do like I
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: do like listening to Spanish radio. I like listen to
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: programs in Spanish. Um, because I just like to hear
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: my language. You know, yes, absolutely, so I'll attribute it
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: to that and it helps, and it helps, like to
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: have it in your ear. It does, it does, especially now,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Like as an organizer, I used to work in Spanish.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Literally all my meetings or in Spanish. Everything was in Spanish.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: My reports were in English. But I'd be translating my
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: personal reports that were in Spanish to my supervisor in English.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense? Now everything is in English. So
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I like to have that stone now or you get
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: rusty anyway? Um, I was telling Mala, I wanted to
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: even update. I dyed my hair and I it in
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: to go darker because I like my natural hair color.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: I like being a brunette. And I was like, I'm
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: gonna do some embre like I like to. I like
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: to My hair is very it's very flat. I don't
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: have that beautiful Provin hair that all my cousins have,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: like very thick and straight, unluscious. I don't got that.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, i want some dimension. So I'm going
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: to keep some blonde, right, I'm gonna keep some highlights.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I ended up coming out blonder. She's a real blonde.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: And I texted while I was like, how did I
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: go in to go darker and came out blonder? Only me?
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: Like this will only happened to me, and I like it.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: It looks really pretty. It's not necessarily me. It works
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: you gear rocking it, but I'm doing my best. You
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: really can wear? Did I have I shared on the
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: podcast my dream about my hair and why you told
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: me about it? Yeah, because I don't think I've really
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: talked on the podcast, like why I cut my hair?
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: You should share. It's a it's a really powerful we're
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: on the topic. Yeah, I haven't shared because I didn't
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: want to attribute, like my hair cut. I didn't necessarily
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: want to assign a reason for it and then have
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: some sort of expectation attached to it. But it's been
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: long enough, so I had been wanting to cut my
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: hair for a long time. And I've always had really long,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: um wavy, dark hair and so like. And in my
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: family too, there's this very strong attachment to our hair
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: in my family, all my theas, especially on my dad's side,
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: my thea as, my cousins they were their hair really
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: really really really long past there, but which for me
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: is super like super harkening back to like that that's
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: our indigenous hairtage, like we just that's our value, is
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: the long hair. But I had a dream, but I
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: had been wanting to cut it and just try something different.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: And I think that my family was more attached to
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: my hair than I was. But I had a dream
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: one day that I was swimming and my hair was
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: long and it was loose, and in my dream, my
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: hair got so heavy that it pulled me down to
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: the bottom of the pool and I drowned. So then
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I woke up like, oh my God, like like very
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: breathless after that, and I said, Okay, Universe, I'm gonna
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: go that isn't a sign. I don't know what it
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: is if that's not a sign. And I take my
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: dream seriously because I don't have a lot that stick
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: with me. But when they do, they tend to be
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: like vivid like that. Yeah, So it's very once in
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: a while for me, So when it happens, I pay attention.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: And I also have sleep paralysis sometimes I have I
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: have very vivid dreams like weekly. Yeah, So my my
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: one of my healers was telling me that my um
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: my subconscious doesn't like to won't let me rest. So
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: I have like some ship that I need to work
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: through in my subconscious. I know, I know, but anyway,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: that little bit the subconscious, right, Okay, what so funny?
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Like the other day, we were going somewhere to a
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: secret location. Yes, so I came out dressed. I'm gonna
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna share. We were going to a secret location
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: to a secret meeting. And you know, we we like
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: to coordinate. Sometimes it's an accident. Sometimes we do ask
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: each other like what are you wearing, and we'll choose
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: like a color, it's a color scheme, a color or
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: maybe like a texture or we're doing denim, yeah, or
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: whatever it is. So we decided on green, like olive green.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: So I have like my kind of cargo pants that
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: I like to wear. I have my yellow and pink
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Cortez that I like to wear. I have a Belladonna
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: culture I love you hin And then I have my
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: um Michael get us my earring with the Aztec calendar
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: on them, the gold ones that I got here that
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: are so beautiful that I love there, gorgeous um and
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I had like a red lip, and so I was cute,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: like I was like math fly, so I w I
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: want out. And the also was like, You're like, so
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: you are so ethnic right now, like your dress, like
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: your aesthetic is super ethnic right now. I'm like, bitch, Well,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I have to balance this attle with your blonde hair.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, have heard one balances out? I know?
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. I had to do the gets the
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Viet hint top and the cortex bond. Okay, all blonde
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and you know it and it worked. It helped and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: it helps no, honestly. So okay, mama, I know that
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: you recently presented at a conference this past week, UM,
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: do you want to share what you presented on what
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: you were doing? So I was really excited and fortunate
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: and honored to be able to present, UM to co
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: present an original workshop about embodying self defense as social justice,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: along with two other amazing veteran UM rape crisis advocates
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: and self defense instructors and professors, Martha Thompson from Impact
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: Chicago and Darlene Defour from Hunter College in New York. So,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: before I UM left my rape crisis job, I was
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: asked if I would like to participate with these women
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: to put together a workshop and submit our proposal to
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: the National Sexual Assault Conference, which was in Anaheim. And
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: we did it. We put a workshop together, we submitted
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: our proposal, it was selected. So the three of us
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: presented at the National Sexual Assault Conference UM and SACKED
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: this year on self defense, and a lot of what
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: we talked about is the fact that there's this historical
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: criminalization of women in general, UM for self defense, Black women,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: in particular Native women. UM. You know, a large number
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: of women in prison and in jail are there because
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: they've defended themselves or they have a prior history of trauma, abuse,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: domestic violence, you know, and women were just not allowed
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: to defend ourselves. We get punished, we get arrested, we
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: get jailed. It happens every day. So we were looking
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: at that historical criminalization and we also talked about reframing
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: it as in, we have to allow women and fems
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: to defend ourselves. We can't punish women in fems for
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: defending ourselves. It's good for men and boys to hear no,
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: it's good for men and boys to have consequences, and
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: sometimes it's good for you to be put in your
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: place when you're overstepping boundaries, you know, not in so
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: many terms, but that's what the workshop basically entailed. UM
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and when you know, survivors or when women and fems
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: are able to defend ourselves, when we're allowed and given
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: that space, there's a sort of like community self defense
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: going on, and we minimize violence in the entire community.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: When we eliminate one threat or we prevent one attack,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: it's not just an attack against me, that's an attack
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: against the community, you know. So if I prevent an
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: assault against myself, I have made the community safer. And
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: wanting to give women that sort of power when we
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: talk about dismantling the police and law enforcement, I think
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: this is the response, allowing us to defend ourselves and
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: defend each other and to give consequences on a community
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: and individual level. So that was the workshop. I think
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: it really falls in line with our firm defense totally
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: and what we've done before. And it just says a
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: little preview. Will be having um an event in the
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: near future about firm defense. Oh yeah, gave some details later,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: but just bookmark that place it in your mind. You
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: in the l A area, we will be having something
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: in a near few chair. And you know, look, I
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: thought we're all about like as you guys see, we
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: do a lot of different stuff. We're not just the podcast.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: We like the parties, we like the workshops, we like
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: the keynotes, we like the events, the live shows. Like
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: we continue to branch out. We have a lot of
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: ideas and a lot of new projects that are very
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: different from everything we've done before. But but but within
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: our realm, you know, a lot of new stuff coming
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: very very soon within the next year. So just we're excited.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: We're excited to be rolling stuff out a little by little. UM.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: So actually this is a good place to transition. UM.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: Next Saturday, we will be at the Latina Writer's Conference,
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: which is September eight, And the conference is at and
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: it's from ten am to five thirty. I believe the
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: registration is max, but they are taking like like if
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: you show up the day of, they're doing registration there. Um,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: And our panel is at four thirty if you want
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: to come check us out. And the title of the
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: panel is space making in the Physical and Digital World.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: And it's moderated by a local writer l a writer
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: eat eating on that and she's like, I said, she's
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: a writer, and so we're really excited to be on
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: this panel because we're both writers, we are both creators,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: and we're both content creators, podcasters. We do a lot
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: of stuff and we do make space in the physical
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: and digital world do along with a lot of other
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: really great people. And one of the hit us on
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: the panel is actually going to be Julissa Life. We're
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: so exciting. She's so amazing. If you don't follow her work,
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: you must, she's really really great. Um, so we're really
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: excited to be on this panel and to be considered
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: and you know that they asked us to be on
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: the panel, And I mean it's always super exciting and
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: flattering and like damn, okay, we're out here doing shit,
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Like thank you for recognizing we really geek out when
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: people do things. Yeah, it really does excites. Sometimes we
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: get really surprised, like oh my god, like, yeah, thank
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: you for thinking of us, right right, appreciating we really do.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: If you would like to bring us out shameless plan,
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: you would like to bring us out to you would
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: like to book us for fall winter, if you're at
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: a university, we do workshops, We have any of ours.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: We can turn into a workshop, panels, panel party, keynotes, parties.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: We can do it, the whole, all of it, all
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: of it. Our radio at gmail dot com. Look, I
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: thought our radio at gmail dot com such a line
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: using booking. Yes, yes, So if you're interested, email us,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: chat with us. You have questions, you have an avad idea,
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: you know, let us know. Um, we're really excited and yeah,
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: we're we're excited for the school year, you know, to begin,
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: because now we can go to college campuses, meet our
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: listeners that are doing such great work at their university.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: We love going to university, we really do. We love
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: the energy we do we do. Um yeah, yeah, okay,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: So you for rocking, Thank you for rocking with us.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: Thank you are listening thus far, this has been a
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: lot of info. We had a lot to say, we
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: really did. And we're gonna keep talking. There's been a
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: lot going on. We're gonna go into a quick songbreak
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back with our guests. We're super excited, y'all.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: Y'all are not ready. You're not ready. So we're gonna
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: get into our songbreak and then we'll be on my
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: back podcaster bells and and and and and and and
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: and and and and and and and and and and
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: and and and um um um um um um okay,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: and we are back. Thank you so much for being
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: on the show today. Oh my god, thank you. No, y'all,
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I literally love you so much. Like but when can
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: I come do it right? We've been talking about it
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: before we get into the garnet. As Mola likes to say,
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I want to offer our listeners that are meeting you,
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: meeting you for the first time, hearing you for the
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: first time, which I doubt TV age, but I want
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: to get read your bio so our listeners can know.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: Curly Velasquez the Curly is a l A based artist
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: who celebrates all things Latin X and beautiful. He began
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: his career in fashion, working for celebrity photographer David la
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Chapelle and design icon Jeremy Scott before starting his own
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: nine by the age of actually think it was I'm
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: sorry it let them know right. Curly then began working
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: with BuzzFeed as an office receptionist, but spend most of
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: his time serving and stalking their kitchen and serving looks
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: at the serving. His interest in producing eventually led him
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: to the video side where he currently acts as a
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: creator for Buzzfeeds, Latin Next Division, Battle Life. What a
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: read that so beautiful. Later we'll talk about how Yosa
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: was made to be on TV like host, I love
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: the delivery shows a cadence. We'll say that for later.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: We're so excited to have you. I'm so excited to
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: have you, guys. Can I just say that it was
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: so funny because y'all had me after the live show, yes,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: and I wanted to talk about when I got that,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: we're not talking which we wanted to talk about. We
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: wanted to talk about the live show because it cracks
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: me out because you were like, I'm like, yes, finally
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: we're gonna do things, and I thought it was gonna
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: be an interview and then y'all were like, we're playing
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: baby shower game. Okay, that is the best adjective, like
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: a variety show. It's a sucking baby showers actually, since
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: we have such an aversion to like being impregnated, like
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: please do not even go there. That's hilarious. I mean,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I had an amazing time and it was really cool
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: because I was like, oh my god, like, um, I
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: forget that I can be a funny person just like
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: really fast there with you guys and be like, oh
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: we got this, yes unscripted, lie right, I mean I
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: came up to you. I didn't dye. I was done
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: because curly, um, you talk about the first time or
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: you were with someone and you talk about how they
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: have really large balls. Oh my god did show? And
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: I was dying because I was like making eye contact
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: with my man that was at the show, because I babe,
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: if you're listening, I apologized, but you already know he
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: has very large balls. But my parents were there, so
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I like he looked at me like, don't like, please,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: don't say anything like do not Your parents were there.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Your parents got a earful that night. We were talking
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: about like come mask, we're talking about everything, and your
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: parents laugh. My mom was hysterical. She was laughing the
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: whole time. I don't think. My dad told my mom
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: is this what they talk about on the show? And
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: my mom was like, they interview people and they talk
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: about other things so much. I always say that if
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I can make like the older people laugh or like
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: people who aren't necessarily my niche like, I'm like, oh,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I'm doing ok right, very good, and it's really funny. Yeah, straight, dude,
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: laugh at my jokes. I'm always like, oh my god, yes,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: because I know that it's like it's funny. It's not
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: just meant for you know, me and my people's all
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: the time, you know. I would say that's probably our
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: litmus test to first rate men, our men laughing at
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: our jokes, right right, right, right, sure for sure, but
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: more to come. Yes in the middle. Before we get
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: into our interview with Curly, we wanted to answer our
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, look as questions with him, So we're going
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: to it into that segment now, our favorite segment because
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: our listeners are cheese, must ask just like us, just
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: like so let's get into Okay, first question is how
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: do you sponsor your cute looks? Curly? Do you want
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: to start? So? How do I sponsor my cute looks? Okay,
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: full disclosure, Right, we've kind of had this conversation internally,
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: so you don't realize how expensive life is until like
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: you don't have a boyfriend anymore who's like no longer
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: paying for all your sheet you right, and then my
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: dad recently like ended my gym membership. I remember that,
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's so mean. How dare you. So
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: right now, I don't have any men paying any of
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: my I've got nothing going on. I'm paying too bibles y'all,
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: Like it's for the first time in my life. But anyway,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: so anyways, so right now I'm financing all of my
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: cute looks. And because so many the looks are required
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: for look at Thought stuff, I feel like we have
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: tried to make looks an investment of the podcast, right that,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: you know, it's a necessity. It's eventually, hopefully attacks right,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: hopefully right off, you know, save those receipts, all of them. Yes,
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: but yeah, that's who's I'm financing my looks. Um. I
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: also sponsor my looks. I financed my looks. Um. Sometimes
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: my man does. He likes to dress me, which is
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: really weird. It's cute, but it's cute like within reason,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Like he'll buy me something like, oh I thought you
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: would like this. It's always like his eyes like, oh
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: she'll like this, not like I want to see her
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: in this? Does that make sense? Got it right? It's
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: still like for me. So sometimes he'll he'll sponsor my looks,
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: but for the most part, it's just me and our
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: friends at meybe the Belladonna. That's we've had amazing friends
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: like send us close. Yeah, I love that dress the
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: same like I always say that yeah, but Belladonna like
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: to um, they don't have anything on top. They do,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: but you know they anounced Belladonna. Yeah like me, I
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: always say, right, I used to say, because that is
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: the spelling that they say Belladonna from the Valley, you
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: know mine. I love them both. They're amazing minor by me.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: I like have this weird thing about letting people pay
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: for me. Ever, it's very weird. It's like a weird
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: complex for me where I'm like, it's very like if
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: you ain't gone no money, take your broth as so
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I'm super like I don't go out and if I
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: can't pay for myself, like I just won't do anything.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: You know. Let's well, let's talk about this because anyways
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: continue and then as far as how it spoilt to
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: my looks like I literally um ex boyfriend collection my
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: you know and stuff like that, which my ex boyfriend
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: made up that term. And then what I do is
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I'll go to like the good Will I've bus something
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: for like four dollars and then where I live. I
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: just get things. Um, it's like a small little hinder
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: in Taylor's shop. So you go and like they you
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: pay like a decent price, like a good price, and
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I just get things tailored to my body. That is
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: a lost are the tailor, the tailor, shoe repairman? Yeah,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: surepairman and the Taylor We don't do it anymore. We
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: don't do anything that's beautiful. That yeah, I can get
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: the only thing that I always take my wet act
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: just to the shoe repairman and they don't know what
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: to do. I'm like, just add another piece of rubber.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I don't understand right, literally it's rubber tire practically kind
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: of yeah. Always. But it's interesting too because I'm like,
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: you're talking about the paying being paid for whatever, and
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what is that life? Like nobody ever wants
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: to pay for anything for me? Like I'm like, do
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: they assume that you're rolling in the dough? I think
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: people assume that I'm maybe you know what I mean.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: But also like when I used to drink, because I
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: don't drink anymore. When I used to drink, nobody ever
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: would ever buy me drinks like strangers. And now I
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: love you let me buy you a shot. I'm like,
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: where were you? Late ball ship? That's what I want now.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: Bullshits are amazing, literally can eat them like forever. That's
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: that's mel a ship. I think. I think that's a culture.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. I'm going to say I'm going to
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: claim that for anyway. Next question, yes, um okay, how
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: to get over it? Ain't shit boy, that's ain't ship
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: like you ain't ship like you ain't he's a fun boy. Yes,
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: in other words, he's trash. My best advice would always
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: be like like for me, I'm always like you need
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: to first and foremost to know what you're working with, Like,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: know what you're bringing to the table. I would say, like,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: you know that you're a lot of times you're bringing
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: the table, you know what I mean, and the chairs
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: and the months everything exactly. So like when you meet
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: these boys who are like not about that life, I'm like,
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: that's cool because we open for business. Somebody else was
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: going to say it this table, you know what I mean. Like,
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, there's never a lot of guys always like
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: with me, they're like why did you change? Like just
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: because of like friend zoning you and I'm like, because
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I'm moving on, Like there's only one seat at this
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: other table the friend the friend department is fully full.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: You can go hang in that road right enough time
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: to be friends. But also like I don't known any
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: more friends and I have a lot of friends. I
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: have a lot of friends, have a lot of great friends.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: That's the funny thing too, because I always feel bad
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I was. I never want to be that person that's like, well,
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: you don't want to give up, dick, but I can't
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: be your friend just but but I'm also like, look,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: the line to get into the friends department is full.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: There's people around the block to get in. Like what
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: good the line for the boyfriend there's there's like a
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: few you know what I mean? Yeah, right, you're right, right,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: right right. I think that my things I had to
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: get over named ship boy, like don't get caught up
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: to begin with, when you know what you're working with,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: don't get caught up. This is true. It's like this
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: idea of like someone will literally show you who they are,
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: so you got to believe them. You're right, you don't
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: got to change them. They're not going to change for you.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: They're not going to be better in the denial was
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: playing in front of you. Because people that's a lot
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: of the times we like will ignore the signs, like
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: people will literally show you like this is all I'm
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: going to give you, over and over and over here, right,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: and we still fight it like well, and a lot
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: of the times we get into this very like well,
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: I'm the ship and I'm bomb and my pussy's bomb,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm this and I'm that, which is true, true,
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: But if someone doesn't want to be there, they're not
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: going to be there. I do want to believe because
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of men, especially being Latino and
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: seeing a lot of the men in my family, like
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: they've changed. They are they're like toxic men. But sometimes
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I've seen them change. But it's a span of ye
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: and it's also then it goes back again to you, like, Okay,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: they might change, but do you want to like get
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: a black eye in the process. Are you trying to
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: be like staying there for like ten years later. No,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that's up to you. You make the decisions like they
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: may they may not, but at the end of the day,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: you are the master of own destiny. But also his
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: growth is not cannot come at the expense of your deterioration. Exactly.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: This cannot hurry exactly. Also masks centered folks as well,
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: not just his his men, but like also for folks
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: that's weird. Toxic masculinity is also a thing. I've lived through.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: It been there, done that. You know, it's exist. How
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: do you get over an eight ship boy? Um, do
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: not go to the valley number one number one that
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: center taught in the valley Dick. You know, Oh, I know,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I can't go there. I can't go. I can't go
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: com Um. You know, my my record, my record with
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: dating and getting over men is very uh low, because
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: dating men is a is something recent, like within the
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: past two years. So I don't have the like all
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: the advice in that way. But I will say that
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: it took me not a long time to get over someone,
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: but it took me a long time to get over
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: the trauma of like what this person put me through. Um.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: So recently I shared on my Instagram. I don't want
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: to get too much into it because it's it's a
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: long thing, but I recently shared that I actually had
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: a guided meditation um with a healer of mine and
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: we she had me like visualize this person, and I
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: was really stressed about it, right, shall we visualize this person?
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: And then kept telling me how powerful I was and
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: like how I was in control. And then I feel
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: like neither love nor hate for this person. I just
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: feel indifferent. And because that's the point we want to
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: be at, right, Like we don't want to feel at
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: least for me, Like I don't want to feel angry
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: because that's more energy you're taking from me. And I
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: don't obviously don't have any love for you, so I'm
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: not going to feel that either. So what I want
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: to feel is indifference. So at some point, like we
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: do have to. I think we have to get to
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: that point with task people, like we're indifferent towards you.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: You're not going to get a rise out of me.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: You're not gonna get attention from me, You're not going
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: to get any more energy from me. Also to me,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: I feel like you can still be like, like I
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: do this thing, like I go like bestuda and I
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: literally put a label on somebody in my head and
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I walked past it. I'm like best without trash, trash,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: whatever you know, and I feel like I'm not. It's
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: no anger and there's no I'm not like, but it's
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: just me being like, that's just what you want. There
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: is a there is a trash can like right across
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: from us, and there's just trashing it. I'm like, I'm
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: not tripping right right right, And for me, I have
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: never been one to remain friends or maintain content. I
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: don't get intentionally, I don't. I don't like, I don't
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: get the ex friends thing. I don't get it. I'm
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: friends with all my ex boyfriends. I think it's because, Um,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: I'm young, right, Like, I'm a young person, and I
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: recognize that I'm the relationships that I was in we
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: were even younger. And then I recognized that when you're
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: that young, when you're in your early twenties, you're in
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: your late teens or in your mid twenties, like, you
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: don't know a lot of things, and sometimes you shitty
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: things happen in your shitty person. And so my thing
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: was like, look, you cheated on me, you may have
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: said some things you've done to this is this isn't
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: doesn't me like physical abuse. I'm not talking about anything.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about things that are like, um, you know
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: what I mean, Like you're seventeen years old and you
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: cheated on me and you slept with one of my
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: homegirls and dada like that for me and like, look
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: like you were seventeen years old. I'm not going to
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: sit here right right, that's a thirty year old, which
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: is whatever. I'm thirty, um and be like um mad
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: at you, like yeah, yeah, how are you now? Are
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: you better person? Great? Exactly? Well yeah, I mean that
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: sounds like it's honoring both of y'all's growth, and I
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: think mal and I mean we're still in our mid twenties. Yeah,
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: so It's like we're not there at that point. I'm
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: not background, right, I'll learning like okay, Like if you're
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: better against somebody who hurt you when you were seventeen
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: years old and now you're thirty now whatever, you literally
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: are going to look at another seventeen year old and
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: be like, oh, baby Blue, you're right at that school.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: You don't know, but you're a child. No like harbor
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: resentment for any of like early I just like I
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: came to this realization that all of my serious relationship
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: had like ended horribly and terribly and very like I
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: cannot be around those guys, Like it's better for me,
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: not like there was so much ship going on it
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: got so negative, Like it's safer and healthier for me
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: to not contain anything. That's also different too, because if
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: you feel like spiritually and lightwise, if somebody is diminishing
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: who you are and making you feel smaller and hindering
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: your your own spiritual growth, then yes, by all means
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: like forget about that. But if you're I'm super chill,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like you tea on me and I don't carry
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: your dick. Wasn't no good anyways, it wasn't right. That's
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: like that you the Queen song where she talks about
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: like um like it's the same. Yeah, it's like okay, yeah,
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: you slevet with my man? So who really like at
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: I know what he's doing. I know all his moves
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: in order, in order. Okay, it's real. That's real. Okay
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: his ad libs, damn okay. Next question, how did you
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: learn to embrace your curves and femininity and stop worrying
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: about other people's opinions? Who wants to start? I think
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: we've shared this before, but as always we have new listeners.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: But so I I like have had the experience of
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: being super curby at a very young age and like
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: having the experience of like my Thea's were those Thea's
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: who would make comments like, oh, I'm in the fifth grade, right,
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I didn't have curbs like yours until I was seven
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: months pregnant, and things like that that they would say
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: to me because my Thea's and my mom are very slight,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: They're built more like Theosa. My mom is a smaller lady,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: and then me and my sister take after the Munio side,
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: like my dad's side. And so for me, it came
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: at the expense of like years of dealing with eating
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: disorders because all that ship funked with me. And you know,
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: we have talked about this. There's this constant back and forth.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, me, how you need to eat more?
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Oh no, don't get fat. Oh here's sometimes it's just
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: this constant back and worth back and forth, and there's
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: never a like settle. And even like now I'm twenty six,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: my my family, even having seen me go through like
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: all that ship, the diet culture is still there. It's
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: just so strong in it. And so I just had
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: to learn to honestly like talk back to them, um,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: you know, because it got to a point where it
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: was so unhealthy for me that I had to fight
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: for myself and I had to really like I had
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: moments where I was like, do not talk to me
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: about my weight at all. Like I remember when I
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: had graduated from college. I gained so much weight senior year,
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: and I like texted my family ahead of time and
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: I told them, when you get here, I'm letting you
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: know that I'm like thirty pounds heavier than the last
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: time you saw me. Do not make any comments about
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: my appearance, like period, not even And then they were
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: like responding, like you look beautiful at no at any way,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: and I said, no, I mean literally, no comments about
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: my appearance, nothing like, not even that because even like
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: the quote is that they're supposedly positive comments like a
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: very um, that is what I'm looking for. It's appointed
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: its Yeah, So that would be my advice. Set boundaries
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: with your family and with your Latinox family. And I've
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: set boundaries with my grandmother who's an immigrant from Mexico
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: who likes still predominantly speak Spanish, you know what I mean,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: So like they can hear it, Yeah, they can hear it.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: They can hear it. They need to hear it. So
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: at the expense of like your self esteem, set the boundary.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to be stern with them. They yell
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: at us all the time, not fucking damn it right,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: you know, set a boundary. It's okay. Now, I completely agree.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: I am. I've had to set that those boundaries and
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: have that conversation with my mom. And it's really difficult
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: because my my mom and other family members will make
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: comments about my body. But recently my mom in the
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: past year has made comments about like my small breast,
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: and I've had to be like, do not make comments
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: about my body at all. And Christmas last Christmas, at
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: the dinner table, um, she had she made a comment
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: about I can't even remember the comment about me losing
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: weight or me something, and so coming from the place
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: of like my family knowing I hadn't even disordered for
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: many years, um, and then her saying this at the
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: dinner table, and I like actually snapped back at her
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: and I was like, I've told you about this, do
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: not make comments about my body or about weight. And
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: she got really upset and didn't talk to me for
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: like a good three days. So I had to I
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: like spent the like I was on break, and I
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: spent that time not at home but at my partner's
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: home because like the house was like hostile. But it
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: took me having to make you know, make those set
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: those boundaries and actually call it out even though it
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: was uncomfortable because it was at Christmas and it was
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: at my family's dinner table. But what was more important,
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: like how I was feeling, or how my mom was
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: feeling and her and she she was upset because she
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: was embarrassed because she was called out right, not because
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: she actually hurt me, but it was more of her
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: ego and her feelings, right, you know. So I had
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: to continuously like fight for myself and my body and
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: my space, you know, and like it saw extend. It's
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: really hard, but like that's what it's like being in
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: a Latino household. I think culturally, for so long, it's
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: been okay to do that, you know what I mean,
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: and okay in a way that even though people didn't
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: like it, people weren't speaking up in the moment, you
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I think that like they're
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: not used to it, like you know, I get in
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: no way would ever compare my experience growing up as
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: a as a man to what girls and fems go
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: through right, um about their own bodies. But you know,
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: comments to my grandma will be like, like I got
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: my nose job years ago because she was like like
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: your nose is so big, or you know, down to
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: like things like that. But I mean, like, I wouldn't
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: um compare because y'all, I know you guys have a
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: tough like I watch it like different things, and I
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: think that like, you're it's good that you guys are
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: kind of like putting your foot down in what your
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: boundaries are, because at the end of the day, it
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: just goes right back to that like boundaries. What is
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: everybody's boundaries as far as how you want to be
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: spoken to? And then you move from there, like then
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: you don't worry about people, I think because the thing
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: was like how do you stop worrying about people? Yes? Right,
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: So it's like you just kind of do your thing.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: And I think finding your own community in any sort
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: of space, I feel like it's the best way to
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: not you know, pay to other people's opinions always. Hell yeah,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: the internet definitely helped me dig myself out of that. Um.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: The Internet was everything as far as body positivity and
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: connecting with other women of color online. And I think
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: you as you get older too, It's an age thing.
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: For me. As I got older, I realized that no
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: matter what, there will always be a comment, there will
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: always be a criticism. So you might as well just
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: like do what I feel you are good, because if
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: you would conform to anybody's standards, somebody is always going
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: to nitpick and find a flaw and not like it anyway. Right,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: as far as I embracing femininity as well, like that
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: one I can talk a little bit about just because
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: it's like in the gay world, the more feminine you would,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: and I think the in the world in general, femininity
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: is seen as weakness and so it's just a thing
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: where you're like taking that back and being like femininity
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: is just so secure with itself that it's even stronger,
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: and it's you know, far more stronger than masculinity in
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: my opinion, you know. So it's like living in that
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: space and being okay with it and just being like,
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: this is what we are fems together. Like then you
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: just said everything else just sets to break away. Yeah,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I love that, and I feel like we have talked
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: maybe online, maybe in person, about your experience with street harassment,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: even Latin and how long even femininity is a pieces
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: for that about it? Yeah, just like talking about how
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: like you know, because we're talking about people were shouting
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: at you and I apologize construction workers, yes, you know,
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: and I like, I was like, I'm so sorry that
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: happens to you, Like it happens to me, whether I'm
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: walking around and people are like using that word and
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: screaming across the street or um, you know, there was
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: there were construction workers next to my apartment, and I
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: watched them, you know, like sometimes Latinos do that with it.
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: They point with their lips right, you know, and they
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: all turn around and I'm like, I know, I'm like
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: wearing like a cow hide crop jacket, but like I'm
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: killing rights and crunch shops. Yes, literally, it costs zero
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: dollars to stay in your lane, mind your own business way.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Imagine that like performance piece or like random photo installation
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: of you, Like that image just came to mind of
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: you in the jacket in front of the construction site,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: and they're just like they can't conceptualize. Yeah, just a
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: beautiful photo of the be like her exactly right. So
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: it's just super interesting because it's like, yeah, like it
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: is what it is. You see what you see? You know, yeah, absolutely, Okay,
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: So a good conversation for the question. Final question we
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: answered more today because obviously we have our guest curlier.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: So the last question, I think is a good way
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: to end this segment. If you had to give your
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: younger self advice, what would it be. Oh my god,
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: if I had to give my younger self advice, it
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: would be, you know what, don't let school and college
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: stress you out so much? You know what I mean,
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: because like all this stress my particular context and growing up,
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: I had a lot a lot of stress and pressure
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: academically and everything to go to college, go to a
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: good college. UM, and just the school that I was
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: at was very high pressured and it was a very
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: white environment and it was hard to be in UM.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: And I would say, like, chill out, like get some sleep, right,
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: don't sign up for all those APE classes. The APE
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: as a scam, like you know, like just sucking. Don't
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: worry something. I think that's a blanket thing that I
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: would put I think over everybody, like no matter how
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: old you are, chill like for me, I always tell myself,
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: like if I to tell myself anything as a young
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: gay kid, Latino kid who's chubby, who had crazy frizzy
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: hair that I still can't control, Like, um, it's always
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: like it's going to get better, Like stay focused on
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: all the things that you like, like keep creating, if
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: you draw, draw, if you sing, sing, if you write right, like,
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: don't ever stop take photographs. Um. Everything that makes you
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: different as a kid and that people make fun of
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: you about is the thing that sets you apart as
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: an adult. It's a thing that you get paid for.
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: I can't tell you how many times people have made
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: fun of me for my the texture of my hair
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: and the fact that it curls a certain way that
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: it does and the texture is very rough, and it's like,
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: that's literally what my name is, and that's literally what
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: pays my bills, like part of your headage and everything.
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, where are you at with your hair lines? Right?
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: Where where you here with me exactly? And where's your
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: hair right? Right? Um? So I feel like, um, I
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: internalized a lot of the uh So, I was a
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: very shy and quiet kid, but I don't think I
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: was actually supposed to be a shy and quiet kid,
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Um, so I grew up
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: feeling very like kind of wall flowery. I'm not meant
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: to be a wall flower like clearly, but I and
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: I think and I attribute that to the podcast. So
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: to actually owning my voice, um and actually creating space
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: for myself and taking up space. I think that is
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: something I would give my younger self, Like if I
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: had allowed myself to be in more clubs and to
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: do more and to take more leadership roles as a younger,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: as a younger kid even in college, Like if I
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: had allowed allowed myself that, like maybe I would have
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: had more opportunity to grow, you know what I mean.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: But I think, like my trajectory is my trajectory, and
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: I'm happy with where I'm at. I'm happy with who
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I am. But another thing that I would say that
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: my therapist tells me is, um, my younger self was
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: never allowed to have any conflict, which is why I
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: when I my trauma respond, my stress response is always flight,
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: sure and freeze. So now it's like, okay, well now
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: you're an adult and you have the tools, so now
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: you can actually confront things and have conflict. So I
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: would tell my younger self have that fight, talk back,
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: say what you want right and it's okay, and you're
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: gonna be okay. You're not gonna like combust, you know
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: what I mean, So that that would be my advice. Yeah,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: it's also the thing of like to I think culturally,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: like um, feminine people are taught to be wall flowers essentially,
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Like I watched my mother who's very quiet. The women
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: and my family tend to be very quiet. And my
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: one thea who's very strong, like she's known for being strong,
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: and she's like not in my house kind of thing,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: but everybe but she's like whoa she's like, but she's
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: so different, and it's like it should be voicing their
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: opinions right, like it shouldn't be. I call it as
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: there's meet syndrome because it's like we're very like oh CC,
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: we're like we are service and not even in our
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: language like like for us like we say, you asked
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: a question on Monday, right at your service, or like
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: how can I help me? So I just think that
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: and it's good that more of us are kind of
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: speaking all right more well, I think because in my
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: experience on my proving side, everyone is really loud and
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: but if everything is in Spanish, so I think growing
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: up I had this really weird like my dad when
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: I would mess up in Spanish. Um, so then I
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: just wouldn't talk because I didn't want to be scolded
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: for not knowing the words right right right. Even this morning,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: I said something and I used the wrong like gender right,
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: and he corrected me right away, and I was like, like,
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I save a little bay. I got so mad at
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: my mom for doing that to me because I was like, Mom,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: I don't correct you, and if I do, I'm teaching you.
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: I don't make you feel bad. Yes, no, my father
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: and I know that it comes from a good place,
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: but it's like as a kid like so then I
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: didn't want to speak in English and I don't want
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: to speak in Spanish, so then I would even more quiet.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: You know what I love. Phoenex Elders have a hard
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: time with positive affirmation, usually negative. It's more criticism than
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: positive afformies right right right, But it's in the space
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: of wanting us to be ye, which I understand. That's
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: on my line. Our last episode, we talked about the
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: impostor syndrome and how are our families will like ground
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: us right, and yeah, it is from a place of love.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: You know what, I didn't realize how so many of
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: our families, Okay, like I think about like so I
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: come from like a Chicago community, right, and like my family,
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: and I think of like George Lopez, he's looking problematic
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: and all kinds of ship. But he used to talk
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: about in his comedy like people would criticize him like
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: why do you talk about like these things that come
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: off as like verbal abuse or like alcoholism in the
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: in the communities, and like the way that you are
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: you talking about people like hitting their kids, And he goes, well,
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: when I stopped seeing it, I'll stop talking about it.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: And so it wasn't until I went into crisis counselor
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: training and like literally learned to be like a rape
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: crisis counselor and trauma informed language and learned how to
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: talk on the hotline. It wasn't until going through that
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: program that I really lized how much of our verbiage
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: and the way we speak to each other at home
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: is very verbally abusive. And we played off as like
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: oh we're spirited or oh we're just we're tougher on
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: our kids, or we tell it like it isn't it's
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: a little bit mean, and we could just what I
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: want is for us to be able to kind of
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: just tweak our language a little bit. Yeah, it's an
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: interesting topic to because even my dad we were having
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: dinner for my birthday and he was like, I apologize
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: and I feel sorry first thanking you as a kid,
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: he was like, I was also a kid, and I
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: just feel bad about the way that I may have
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: handled things. But then I'm laughing as I'm like, no,
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: it worked out like I needed it. I needed it.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I was a badass kid, Like I'm happy that she's
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: spanking because I made me afraid of you. So when
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: you said something like when I was learning how to
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: write a certain type of way, you know, and I
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: got in trouble because they're where that I was going
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: to go tag on stuff like I needed that sort
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: of collection, Like if my sister started address a Ctain
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: type of way, like that's it's a that's a whole
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: another topic. When like, you know something people also how
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: like white folk always on or other people want to
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: be hood as fucked and then in the household like
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: our parents are like and that guys on outside the
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: phol like they don't do and I'm just like, we're
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: trying so hard to get better sometimes and then they're
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: trying hard to like like even like faces. I'm sorry,
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: I'm going out tattoo like even face tattoo faces, face tattoos, tattoos.
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: You know, it's interesting to me because I'm like, yo,
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: like my cousin the head face tattoos back in the day,
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: it was because of some ch and not because he
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: was like I want to look cool. Anyway, I'm sorry,
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: there's so much worse, and I love how that came from.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: Like what advice would you give your don't you face tattoos?
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: All of that, don't do face tattoos, um, take of space,
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: don't shill out, sleep all that's drinkwater, drinkwater, moisture. All right, Okay,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: So that has been all you know, that has been
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: like basically a full interview. I know, Curly, Curly, you
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: do so much. Like in addition to the BuzzFeed and
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: the videos, we know that your dog father Yeah, yes,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: in my pimple, he's a giant pimple. And he was
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: on the phone running up and down the streets to
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Melrose and a fancy He's beautiful, and somebody was like,
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: do you mind if I bring him to your apartment?
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: And my friend was like, I don't know where to
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: take him. He's a baby, and I was like and
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: and he was so chill, and he's like the best
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: thing I live for him. He's so expensive because white
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: pipples have like horrible, horrible skin problems and medical needs
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: and it's just like my entire check goes to that.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: But yeah, that's my you know. And I'm like an
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: advocate for pitpules because I'm like, everyone is so abazy.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: I don't little dogs Like, I'm like, we have so
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: sorry for you both. I just really like little dogs.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: To me. I'm like, you you bought a hamster. You basically,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: my god, you didn't get a real dog like your size.
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: You Because my man has a has a bulldog and
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: English bulldog and he'll call that he's like a little
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: handsome that. Yeah, that's that's my big dogs too. Like well,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: i mean, I'm like, what are they? Who are you
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: going to protect little dog? Okay, well you're just a
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: dog hater. I'm I just feel like I'm shopping on
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: every other dog because your dog supremacist. I was gonna say,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: you people, people don't get everybody's so read of him.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: That's very walk him like. People will cross the streets,
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: people walk out of the storage back and they see
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: me like, which is good because I'm a gay boy
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: and I live like in a in a good area.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: But it's a little different. Um. And it's cool because
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: it's me and my pimple and we're like breaking stereotypes.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: I love breaking the stereotygs all the time. Yes, um.
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: And but also that goes to show because a lot
• 57:47
  Speaker 1: of the times it's not the pimple, it's not the dog,
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: it's the owner and the condition that they're kept in,
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: which makes them more aggressive. Tying them up in the
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: backyard because the big dog is no way to have
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: a dog. I literally this guy like I hug him, yeah,
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: like baby kisses for literally forty five minutes on end,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: and then he's just like, oh my goodness. Well currently,
• 58:11
  Speaker 1: so you're also touring. I know we're dunking because it's
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: like a little tour yea our adventure. It's just all
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: by the grace of God, it got us, and it's
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: just the universe and the energy. I think, like, um,
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: it's just like I was talking about, like I literally
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: which is negative in the bank like a few weeks ago,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: and so I'm like, please, we can really can. And
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: if that's another interesting too, because you look at creators
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: and you look at people on the internet and you're like,
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: they just have it so good. It's like I still
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: got bills to pay. I still got you know, I
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: mean and mile and I don't do this whole time,
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: but we'll get questions like how do you finance the podcast?
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: Does the podcast make pay well? No, like we don't.
• 58:50
  Speaker 1: This audio what you're hearing is completely free. We do
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: this because we love it. It's a labor of love.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: We don't have sponsors our book when you book us,
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: like that's how we make our money, and we distribute
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: it because we work with specifically women of color, queer folks,
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: undocument pay are graphic designer, were DJs, phohographers, you know
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: what I mean, And you get it. I know, it's
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: like it's super hard, Like it's a thing where I'm
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: lucky because there are a lot of independent creators and
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: I'm a creator that's signed to a company, So I
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: do get like my my two weeks, you know what
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: I mean. But everybody, yes, but I'm not over here
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: rolling in dough. I'm not like I still have to
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: get on a plane and go make money somewhere. That's
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: the way that And it's a sad. People are like,
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: you shouldn't tell people that you're negative. I'm like, no,
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: like I want people to know that the grass isn't
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: always greener and all you have to do is like
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: work hard, keep like keep going and hopefully the situation
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: will turn so yes, like right now, I'm like, I
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: just got back from less. You have a Mexico um
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: for a gig, like which was really cool. And then
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: they like they sent me up in like a haunted convent,
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: like an old fourth It's called like um on this
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 1: and so it's amazing, it's beautiful. There was like thunder
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm not afraid of no ghost like I don't.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: I love ghosts. And I identified as like a bluer
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: like I do, and I like constantly, yes, I constantly
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: I called in my spirits like the more you know me,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: I'm always like, oh my spirits are talking to want
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: me to hit you up and tell you this. And
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: I'm usually very very accurate and in tune. Um. So
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: I'm not afraid of ghosts, but I was afraid of
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: the thunder out there. And I was like, oh hell no, Lord,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: turn turn that shut down. I was more afraid of
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: a haunted scenario in Latin America than in the US. See,
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, you know, there's something for me, There's something. Yes,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: it was more and there. I walked in and I
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: immediately started to feel very isolated and alone and sad
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: like like a like a feeling of just like I'm
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: just so lonely, you know. And I kept walking around
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: and didn't recognize it, and so somebody else called me out.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: I kept walking to the same window and sitting on
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: the ledge, and I did it like two or three times,
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: and this guy was like, why do you keep coming
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: to the same spot? And I was like, oh my god,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize that I was in the same spot.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: So I went to go. When I got back to
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: l A, I read that they were monks. Um, oh
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: my god, what were they called? They were called them
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: like carm like and they were supposed to be up there,
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: secluded by themselves as hermits. They couldn't even work with
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: each other. Cloister, Yes, exactly so, But I don't know.
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: It's interesting because they keep probably it a convent, But
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: on wiki they keep talking about monks, and I'm like,
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: did she here exactly way? I was just like I'm
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: picking up on different things, and I just like, um,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: you felt their isolation. It was interesting and it's kind
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: of like I'd like to do some things where I
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: put my hands on the actual objects to feel things. Um,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: that's different. But with people, I hear what I call suggestions,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: and the suggestions are usually the accurate part which is done,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: and suggestions being like, for example, so I'll be um
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: like I'll be in the shower, let's just say and
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: or I'll be like next to you and I'm like,
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: you know, it would be great if diosa and so
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: and so got together and I'd be like, have you
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: talked to Santa? You know what I mean? Or it'll
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: be somebody like I said it from my friend the
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: other day and I was like, are you pregnant? And
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: she's like, oh my stop