Latest / Earn Your Leisure / "What's Your Way Of Resolving Conflicts?" 19Keys Ft Rashad Bilal
Transcript
- 0:10Speaker 1: I rock with you, yo. Like you said, I rock
- 0:11Speaker 1: with you. I'm going to support you. I'm going to
- 0:14Speaker 1: do this. I'm going to do that. We should do
- 0:15Speaker 1: something together. Well, you haven't done anything together.
- 0:18Speaker 2: Yeah, no, most people ain't did nothing.
- 0:20Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying? So I look at it
- 0:21Speaker 1: from you. Like, I mean, you know, you came to
- 0:23Speaker 1: us with the idea and it was a no brainer.
- 0:25Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, the voice that you have
- 0:30Speaker 1: is needed for the generation and it fills a gap
- 0:34Speaker 1: because in this world of, everybody's just showing what they
- 0:39Speaker 1: have as far as lifestyle marketing or is toxic or,
- 0:43Speaker 1: you know, relationship banter or, you know, everybody's just copying.
- 0:48Speaker 1: It was like once the financial literacy thing got popular,
- 0:50Speaker 1: everybody wanted to kind of follow that mold.
- 0:52Speaker 3: So everybody's a copycat, right?
- 0:55Speaker 1: And it's like you're standing and doing something that is
- 0:58Speaker 1: not really replicable. Like you can't replicate what you're doing.
- 1:03Speaker 1: And that's why nobody's really copying it at scale. because
- 1:06Speaker 1: you can't have three hour conversations about physics and, you know,
- 1:10Speaker 1: race relations and aliens.
- 1:12Speaker 3: Like you can't, that's difficult to do.
- 1:14Speaker 1: It's easy to get in front of a mic and
- 1:16Speaker 1: talk about, you know, should your girl pay 50-50, shit
- 1:19Speaker 1: like that. You know what I'm saying? Anybody can have
- 1:24Speaker 1: that conversation. You know what I'm saying? But, you know,
- 1:29Speaker 1: you fill the void that was needed. So, you know,
- 1:34Speaker 1: when looking at, you know, growing, What we have as
- 1:37Speaker 1: far as content, okay, we have finance shows, Earn Your Leisure,
- 1:42Speaker 1: Market Mondays, pretty much got that covered, right? We don't
- 1:46Speaker 1: necessarily need to keep adding. Now it kind of becomes repetitive.
- 1:51Speaker 1: This is a breath of fresh air. And obviously, like,
- 1:56Speaker 1: you know, it's taken off the way it has, but
- 1:58Speaker 1: then even outside of that, it's just a brotherhood and
- 2:01Speaker 1: a relationship that we have with each other that, you know,
- 2:06Speaker 1: regardless of a show, we still have a relationship.
- 2:08Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 2:08Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 2:09Speaker 2: I was cool with y'all before the show. They just
- 2:12Speaker 2: made sense in a sense of a bridge. Let's bridge
- 2:15Speaker 2: these worlds together. Let's start keeping them so separate. Like,
- 2:18Speaker 2: because they all merge, you know what I'm saying? And
- 2:21Speaker 2: they all in alignment, the same people that's interested in
- 2:24Speaker 2: intellect and consciousness and metaphysics and all these other different conversations,
- 2:28Speaker 2: they need money, right? We can't go to war without money.
- 2:31Speaker 2: We got to get our finances straight, right? Like, We
- 2:34Speaker 2: got to, like, it's up to our generation to be
- 2:37Speaker 2: the bridge to where, like, no, we communicating with each other.
- 2:40Speaker 2: It's not like you Thurgood Marshall over here, I'm W.E.B.
- 2:43Speaker 2: Du Bois, it's Marley the King, and it's Malcolm. It's like, no,
- 2:46Speaker 2: we in the same room, having the same discussion, maybe
- 2:49Speaker 2: from different perspectives, but we got the same war that
- 2:52Speaker 2: we fighting, right? And so it gets me to my
- 2:54Speaker 2: last point. And the last point is just about conflict resolution, right?
- 3:02Speaker 2: How do you manage... Conflict resolution, because I'm somebody that
- 3:07Speaker 2: talks to everybody, and I feel like I'm always figuring
- 3:11Speaker 2: out conflict resolution, right? Because I believe that we have
- 3:15Speaker 2: bigger enemies than each other, right? And I believe that
- 3:20Speaker 2: the one thing that we haven't done yet is unify,
- 3:23Speaker 2: and it's the hardest thing on the planet. So whoever
- 3:25Speaker 2: accomplishes it deserves a Nobel Peace Prize. But there's always
- 3:29Speaker 2: going to be conflict. We're young. It's new. We're maturing.
- 3:34Speaker 2: There's not a foundation or a system that we're coming
- 3:37Speaker 2: through to be like, all right, when this happens, we're
- 3:40Speaker 2: going to settle this dispute this way, right? So we
- 3:42Speaker 2: have to figure it out as men to just come
- 3:45Speaker 2: together to be like, all right, let's stop this before
- 3:48Speaker 2: it goes here and let's continue to build. We have
- 3:51Speaker 2: to check ourselves, right? We have to deal with other people,
- 3:55Speaker 2: our own egos, their egos. There's so much that goes
- 3:58Speaker 2: into that. So for you being in a position of leadership,
- 4:03Speaker 2: How do you go about your process of conflict resolution?
- 4:07Speaker 1: You try to work out differences if there's issues. And
- 4:11Speaker 1: at a certain point, you realize sometimes that you can't
- 4:13Speaker 1: work out issues. So every person is not your brother.
- 4:18Speaker 1: Every black person is not an ally to you. Jealousy, envy,
- 4:22Speaker 1: these are traits that are colorless. We just got to
- 4:28Speaker 1: be honest. And these are human traits. So what you
- 4:34Speaker 1: realize is that if you can't resolve a problem, it's
- 4:39Speaker 1: best to remove yourself from a situation. And that's okay.
- 4:44Speaker 1: We all don't have to be in alliance. We don't
- 4:46Speaker 1: need every single person to work together. We need people
- 4:50Speaker 1: to work together. So you might work together in this silo.
- 4:53Speaker 1: I might work together in this silo. We might work
- 4:55Speaker 1: together in this silo. We might have some level of
- 4:58Speaker 1: communication from other people that maybe are in communication with
- 5:00Speaker 1: all silos. But there's never going to be a time
- 5:03Speaker 1: when every single person on earth is working together. Every
- 5:06Speaker 1: single black person is working together. That's just not going
- 5:08Speaker 1: to happen, right? But I think it comes from a
- 5:11Speaker 1: maturity standpoint of understanding that a lot of people have
- 5:15Speaker 1: trauma that are beyond you. It has nothing to do
- 5:20Speaker 1: with you, right? So what I realized is that mental
- 5:24Speaker 1: health is real. That's why I don't argue with people anymore.
- 5:27Speaker 1: Once it gets to the point of I'm blocking your number, right?
- 5:31Speaker 1: Because when I realize that there's no getting through to
- 5:35Speaker 1: you or that this has become a pattern of dysfunction
- 5:39Speaker 1: because it's happened multiple times, you might say something, you apologize,
- 5:42Speaker 1: and you say something, you apologize.
- 5:44Speaker 3: This is like being in a relationship. It's like being
- 5:45Speaker 3: in a toxic relationship.
- 5:47Speaker 1: I'm removing myself from that situation because I'm not the
- 5:50Speaker 1: person that can help you. I'm not your spouse. I'm
- 5:53Speaker 1: not with you 20 hours a day. I'm not sitting
- 5:56Speaker 1: with you. I'm not taking you. You probably do need therapy.
- 5:59Speaker 1: You probably do need to have a more advanced conversation,
- 6:02Speaker 1: but me trying to play that mediator is only going
- 6:05Speaker 1: to weigh on my psyche. It's going to bring down
- 6:11Speaker 1: my vibe, so I'm removing myself from that situation. Because
- 6:16Speaker 1: it's like, what's the alternative? We can just keep going
- 6:18Speaker 1: back and forth and not agreeing on things, and eventually
- 6:21Speaker 1: it can turn violent.
- 6:23Speaker 3: And that's always an option as well, but that's not productive.
- 6:26Speaker 3: Nobody wins in that.
- 6:27Speaker 1: Situation, whether it's physical violence, whether it's internet violence, whether
- 6:32Speaker 1: it's verbal violence. Like, you know, we live in a
- 6:34Speaker 1: time where men are more emotional than women, right? And people,
- 6:40Speaker 1: they treat social media or they'll treat, you know, things
- 6:43Speaker 1: like their diary, right? And they go on and they'll
- 6:47Speaker 1: say a variety of different things. And it's like, well, okay,
- 6:53Speaker 1: did that solve anything? it might've made you feel better
- 6:57Speaker 1: in that moment. But once again, that more speaks to
- 7:00Speaker 1: your insecurity as a person, right? So it's like, you know,
- 7:04Speaker 1: as far as conflict resolution, the best thing to do
- 7:07Speaker 1: is have a conversation and try to figure out what
- 7:09Speaker 1: the differences are. Hopefully that leads to an issue being solved.
- 7:15Speaker 1: Sometimes that does not lead to an issue being solved
- 7:17Speaker 1: because there's still issues and it still pops up. The
- 7:21Speaker 1: next best thing that you can do is remove yourself
- 7:24Speaker 1: from the situation.
- 7:25Speaker 2: Right?
- 7:26Speaker 1: There's no harm, no foul. I don't necessarily have to
- 7:28Speaker 1: be the best friends with you. We don't agree on things, right?
- 7:32Speaker 1: I see the world one way. You see the world
- 7:34Speaker 1: another way. How I view you is one way. How
- 7:36Speaker 1: you view me is another way. You think that you
- 7:38Speaker 1: don't agree with something that I'm doing. I don't agree
- 7:40Speaker 1: with something that you're doing. Instead of us battling each other,
- 7:44Speaker 1: because that's going to lead to, now that's going to
- 7:47Speaker 1: lead to a real problem eventually, right? The best thing
- 7:52Speaker 1: that we can do is walk away from each other.
- 7:55Speaker 1: This is like a relationship. Men and women, the same thing, right?
- 8:01Speaker 1: You try to work it out with your spouse, your fiance,
- 8:04Speaker 1: your girlfriend. You try to work it out before you
- 8:07Speaker 1: go different ways. Sometimes it does not work out.
- 8:10Speaker 3: That's okay.
- 8:12Speaker 1: It's better to just go your separate ways.
- 8:15Speaker 3: You'll have a great life. I'm going to have a
- 8:17Speaker 3: great life.
- 8:18Speaker 1: As opposed to staying in a household and then you
- 8:20Speaker 1: verbally fight with each other and then somebody's going to
- 8:23Speaker 1: end up getting hurt. That's a perfect example of what
- 8:27Speaker 1: even with men, right? Like if you've ever been in
- 8:30Speaker 1: a toxic relationship, you've been in a household, something bad
- 8:35Speaker 1: is going to happen. The best thing that you can
- 8:38Speaker 1: do is remove yourself from that household. The best thing
- 8:40Speaker 1: that I can do if I'm in a relationship with
- 8:43Speaker 1: somebody and we can't see eye to eye is remove
- 8:47Speaker 1: myself from that relationship.
- 8:48Speaker 3: That's it.
- 8:50Speaker 1: So, you know, that's my thoughts on conflict resolution. is
- 8:53Speaker 1: that it should never lead to a point where it
- 8:55Speaker 1: is verbal attacks, physical violence, tearing somebody's name. Like, you know,
- 9:00Speaker 1: that to me is, that's more of an immature, insecure
- 9:06Speaker 1: way to go about it. Especially if it's not a
- 9:09Speaker 1: real problem. We got a real problem, then nine times
- 9:13Speaker 1: out of 10, we're not even going to speak it anyway.
- 9:14Speaker 1: When we see each other, it's going to be a problem.
- 9:16Speaker 1: But it ain't no real problem. Like most of the time,
- 9:19Speaker 1: on any level, on the internet, on the streets, It's
- 9:22Speaker 1: never really a real problem most of the time. 90%
- 9:24Speaker 1: of the problems is not real. It's because, you know,
- 9:28Speaker 1: I don't like the way you look to me type shit.
- 9:31Speaker 1: Or you said something that I didn't agree with behind
- 9:34Speaker 1: my back and somebody told me or came back to
- 9:36Speaker 1: me or, you know, try to talk to my girl
- 9:40Speaker 1: at a party. I wasn't, it ain't, is that worth
- 9:43Speaker 1: losing your life over? Probably not. But in the heat
- 9:46Speaker 1: of the moment. That's what it comes down to. Very
- 9:50Speaker 1: few times is it real issues. Like somebody stole a
- 9:54Speaker 1: million dollars from you. Somebody kidnapped your kid. Somebody ran
- 9:58Speaker 1: in your mom's house. These are real issues. that happen,
- 10:01Speaker 1: but that's not the majority. Most of the time. I mean,
- 10:04Speaker 1: you really look at this shit as petty. Yo, you
- 10:07Speaker 1: wearing these sneakers. I had the sneakers first. I don't
- 10:11Speaker 1: like the way you trying to ruin my vibe. You
- 10:14Speaker 1: trying to bite my style type shit.
- 10:17Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
- 10:19Speaker 2: Yeah. I was looking at the founders of the Constitution.
- 10:29Speaker 2: It was all like the late 20s, early 30s. And
- 10:33Speaker 2: I'm like, how did these men be able to sit
- 10:35Speaker 2: down and decide that this is how we about to
- 10:40Speaker 2: govern and rule our future? They just sat down, locked
- 10:44Speaker 2: in for like 30, 60 days. And so let's come
- 10:47Speaker 2: up with the rules. Let's go set the foundation for
- 10:50Speaker 2: the future. You know what I mean? And they argued
- 10:54Speaker 2: with each other throughout the process. Probably damn near fought, right?
- 10:58Speaker 2: Bicker back and forth. But they didn't leave until they
- 11:03Speaker 2: had this constitution done. And I believe it's something that
- 11:08Speaker 2: we can learn from because what would have kept you
- 11:12Speaker 2: in that room and in that process is thinking about
- 11:16Speaker 2: something that's bigger than yourself. I don't like this, Nick,
- 11:19Speaker 2: but Let's get this done because if I just stick
- 11:23Speaker 2: through it and we get this done, this is going
- 11:26Speaker 2: to benefit my family, all families for the rest of time.
- 11:30Speaker 2: And America is still being governed by that same constitution,
- 11:34Speaker 2: more or less.
- 11:35Speaker 3: Right.
- 11:36Speaker 2: So I think about our positions and how if we
- 11:41Speaker 2: really want to take these positions serious, right, there has
- 11:45Speaker 2: to be. something higher than ourselves that guides us to
- 11:51Speaker 2: be like, I'm not going to do this because this
- 11:53Speaker 2: is more important. And I believe that's why it's so
- 11:56Speaker 2: easy to have conflict because we don't have common vision, right?
- 12:00Speaker 2: We don't have common values. The most important thing to
- 12:03Speaker 2: us is ourselves, right? This is my movement. This is
- 12:06Speaker 2: your movement. Nothing is bigger than that. It's like, damn,
- 12:10Speaker 2: there's actually stuff bigger than that. And if we had
- 12:13Speaker 2: that as a common goal, It's a reason a Malcolm
- 12:16Speaker 2: and a Martin would sit down because the common is
- 12:18Speaker 2: our people. The common is freedom. The common is like liberation.
- 12:23Speaker 2: But it's really thinking about all the time, what's that commonality?
- 12:26Speaker 2: And yes, during war, there's many different strategies that you
- 12:29Speaker 2: can go about taking. I just want us as melanated
- 12:34Speaker 2: men to think about the future that we could have
- 12:38Speaker 2: if we learn to move an alliance and have a
- 12:44Speaker 2: cooperation and come to agreement agreement does not mean that
- 12:48Speaker 2: you know y'all like each other people wars there's treaties
- 12:53Speaker 2: and there's agreements and there's packs that had had nothing
- 12:56Speaker 2: to do with y'all liking each other it's understanding that
- 12:58Speaker 2: something is bigger right and that's usually the future you
- 13:01Speaker 2: know i'm saying like yo this is gonna be better
- 13:03Speaker 2: for our people i'm gonna lose so many men on
- 13:05Speaker 2: this side so many soldiers on this side we're gonna
- 13:07Speaker 2: fight we're gonna do this this is gonna be bad
- 13:09Speaker 2: for the culture it's gonna be bad for everything so
- 13:12Speaker 2: How about we come down and sit with a treaty?
- 13:13Speaker 2: How about we have a pact? How about we take
- 13:16Speaker 2: some sort of oath or something that's bigger than ourselves?
- 13:18Speaker 2: And I think what we have to challenge ourselves is
- 13:20Speaker 2: first to think. Think about that one thing that's bigger
- 13:24Speaker 2: than ourselves. And then that is the thing that we
- 13:28Speaker 2: have a commonality and build a bridge about. Because everything
- 13:33Speaker 2: else under that, we go war about. But up here,
- 13:36Speaker 2: it's a reason that the blood and crypts have come together.
- 13:39Speaker 2: It's a reason that the Muslims and Christians have come together.
- 13:41Speaker 2: There's a reason that any group of people who have
- 13:44Speaker 2: a common cause and vision that's bigger than themselves, it'll
- 13:47Speaker 2: be bigger than their faith, their nationality, their business, whatever
- 13:50Speaker 2: it is, and be like, yeah, all right. For the
- 13:54Speaker 2: sake of this, I'll find harmony and alliance, and we'll
- 14:00Speaker 2: move forward based on this agreement. And therefore, we can
- 14:04Speaker 2: run and rule and control the future because we are
- 14:07Speaker 2: in such beautiful positions that it's too much at stake, right?
- 14:11Speaker 2: to allow the ripple effect of what comes from that
- 14:15Speaker 2: disharmonious relationship that we have with each other because we're
- 14:19Speaker 2: not thinking about something bigger, which is the people. The
- 14:23Speaker 2: people are the ones who suffered the most when the
- 14:25Speaker 2: leaders war, right? And there's so many families, young men
- 14:29Speaker 2: that's looking up to us, young women that's looking up
- 14:32Speaker 2: to us and the ripple effects of all the families
- 14:33Speaker 2: that we're going to be able to affect. Sometimes I
- 14:36Speaker 2: wish I didn't have a, a heart to want to
- 14:39Speaker 2: solve things. Sometimes I wish I was just all war,
- 14:42Speaker 2: all bull all the time. But I've seen so many
- 14:47Speaker 2: different wars growing up. I've seen so many people die.
- 14:50Speaker 2: I think I lost 10, 12 homies before I was
- 14:53Speaker 2: 19 years old. So I got people that didn't die
- 14:56Speaker 2: that I haven't even had grief over. I have people
- 14:58Speaker 2: that die while they still living because they're not who
- 15:01Speaker 2: they used to be. And they could have been a
- 15:03Speaker 2: great leader and they could have been a great contribution
- 15:05Speaker 2: to the world and I know people that took out
- 15:07Speaker 2: other people's sons and daughters and all of it was
- 15:10Speaker 2: pointless all of it so it's like what is a
- 15:15Speaker 2: higher degree and when you think about the people right
- 15:18Speaker 2: that's always something bigger than self how is this going
- 15:21Speaker 2: to affect the people right and I think that if
- 15:24Speaker 2: we come together because of that constitution it starts off
- 15:27Speaker 2: with we the people we have to have a common
- 15:29Speaker 2: oath we have to have a preamble we have to
- 15:31Speaker 2: have a constitution And then therefore, we have a way
- 15:35Speaker 2: to solve all conflicts for something bigger than ourselves. But
- 15:39Speaker 2: I want to thank you for being here.
- 15:40Speaker 3: Appreciate it.
- 15:41Speaker 2: This was a dope, beautiful, powerful conversation. And I just
- 15:48Speaker 2: want people that are sitting out there that's listening to
- 15:51Speaker 2: think about how you want to add. I know, like Rashad,
- 15:55Speaker 2: like myself and other people, we're not looking for more followers.
- 15:59Speaker 2: We're looking for leaders. You look at this thing and
- 16:01Speaker 2: be like, man, I can run this part for you.
- 16:02Speaker 2: I can run this. I can run this. I had
- 16:04Speaker 2: the epiphany of the desk. You know, we talk about
- 16:07Speaker 2: college dropouts and things of that nature. But really, those
- 16:10Speaker 2: were all a whole lot of leaders there. They got
- 16:12Speaker 2: a lot of skill sets that I can utilize, that
- 16:14Speaker 2: we can utilize. You can run a whole organization for
- 16:17Speaker 2: me and create your own job. And I got the
- 16:19Speaker 2: platform for you. I want people to look at what
- 16:21Speaker 2: we're doing and see what you can add. You know
- 16:23Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Like, love it. Don't hate it.
- 16:26Speaker 3: Right?
- 16:27Speaker 2: Contribute to it so that we can build together. Be
- 16:29Speaker 2: an addition, not a subtraction. You don't have to understand it,
- 16:32Speaker 2: but reach out. Now, we're not going to be able
- 16:34Speaker 2: to get to everybody. That's where patience comes in. That's
- 16:37Speaker 2: where understanding the process. But I have so many people
- 16:39Speaker 2: over the last month been reaching out and saying, bro,
- 16:41Speaker 2: I can lead this. I can lead that. I can
- 16:43Speaker 2: lead that. Because I don't want you to be driven
- 16:45Speaker 2: by money because you're only going to do as much
- 16:46Speaker 2: as I pay you for. I need you to be
- 16:48Speaker 2: driven by the passion and the love for it.
- 16:50Speaker 3: Right.
- 16:51Speaker 2: Because then you do that forever. You're going to do
- 16:53Speaker 2: way more than I can afford. And we're going to
- 16:54Speaker 2: create something way bigger than money can provide. So I
- 16:58Speaker 2: want those people that's going to be showing up to InvestFest.
- 17:01Speaker 3: Right.
- 17:01Speaker 2: Collaborate with each other. This person got a platform. You
- 17:03Speaker 2: got a skill. Figure out how you can collaborate and
- 17:06Speaker 2: contribute to each other.
- 17:08Speaker 3: Right.
- 17:08Speaker 2: Leading up to InvestFest. And I love it because it's
- 17:10Speaker 2: so beautiful. That is, you know, the only place I
- 17:13Speaker 2: ever went to that had that many beautiful black people
- 17:15Speaker 2: shining in such a peaceful, harmonious place for Savior's Day.
- 17:19Speaker 2: And so I'm like, yo, y'all understand how beautiful that
- 17:22Speaker 2: is just going to an environment. There's 25,000 people that's
- 17:27Speaker 2: there for the same reason, right? They want to grow.
- 17:31Speaker 2: They want to build wealth. They want better health. They
- 17:33Speaker 2: want better connections. They want a better America. I feel
- 17:36Speaker 2: like a politician now. So this is 19 Keys. Thank
- 17:42Speaker 2: you to my good brother Rashad Bilal, and I'll see
- 17:45Speaker 2: y'all next time. Peace, family. Peace. Peace Family 19Qs reporting live.
- 17:56Speaker 2: I wanted to let you all know about a giveaway
- 17:58Speaker 2: that we're doing for InvestFest. I have five general edition tickets,
- 18:01Speaker 2: and I have five VIPs, and I have one giveaway
- 18:04Speaker 2: for a one-on-one coaching session with me. All you got
- 18:07Speaker 2: to do is join High Level Club. Come in high level,
- 18:09Speaker 2: apply today. We're not one of Ben's VIPs. We do
- 18:12Speaker 2: not want to miss InvestFest, and you definitely.
- 18:14Speaker 3: Don't want to miss the one-on-one with me.
- 18:16Speaker 2: Come tap in with the gods.
- 18:17Speaker 3: Peace to the family.
- 18:18Speaker 2: Are we low level or high level? Ah!