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Moving Forward with Positivity with Leadership Expert Lesley Calvin · Authentic Living

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Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
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things that really matter in our lives.
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And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
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Hi, everyone.
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It's Roxanne Doreraju of Authentic Living with Roxanne.
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Thanks for tuning in again.
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Week.
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This week, I have a colleague, with me.
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Hi, Leslie.
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How are you today?
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I'm great.
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Thanks, Roxanne.
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How are you?
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Good.
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Good.
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Leslie and I, recently had the privilege of, speaking actually, locally at, an event called
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Disrupt Niagara at which point I was, privilege to listen to her on stage and was impressed and
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wanted her to come out and chat with a little bit.
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So her business is called positive Ford Motion Inc.
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Leslie is a leadership development consultant, a coach and a trainer, and she's revered as an
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intelligence specialist, something that I think most organizations need more of, and she brings
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a warm dynamic and impactful approach to her coaching, facilitation, and speaking events.
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She's a former high education administrator and leader of people and departments.
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She works with individuals and organizations to increase their leadership capacity in her
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niche.
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That's her niche.
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Sorry.
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Building emotionally intelligent, high performing skilled professionals, leaders, and
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organizations is remission, fostering awareness of softening others, optimizing individual and
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collective emotional intelligence and increasing adapt to adaptability and tolerance
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in times of change and stress is her deliverable.
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So thank you.
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Thank you.
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So, Leslie, let's let's talk a little bit about, and I know from spending time and we off
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just recently all also spent a couple of hours driving back together from the Canadian's
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Professional Association, of professional speakers in London.
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So we sat a couple of hours together, So tell me about your path.
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You've had quite a unique path, and I know you've been in corporate and, things like that.
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What What kind of made you wanna get into, working with leadership?
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Well, that's a great question.
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And thank you for that lovely introduction.
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I really appreciate that.
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So my path is, much like most of my life.
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It has not been, a seamless I'm gonna decide what I'm gonna do and go forward with it.
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It's really been sort of a a evolution of self discovery.
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And, and career discovery.
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So, way back in my, early days, I started at, my undergraduate is in international
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development and history.
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And so I started at, in the college sector in post secondary education, in the international
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department working with domestic students going overseas.
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And so my role was managing this program to get them ready to be overseas and be successful, to
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be personally and professionally successful.
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So they really had to feel empowered to be the leader of their own life, because they wouldn't
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have that, you know, support with them.
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So throughout that journey, in that area, I, I developed a a leadership development program
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then I went on to, excuse me, then I went on to, do my masters of organizational leadership,
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and organizational development.
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And that kind of really blew my my world right up.
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And so from there, I moved into, developing more leadership programming within the college
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sector as well as engagement programming and, and really how do we how do we engage and
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maximize the potential of our own life through that, somebody who, was, one of my mentors in
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the executive team saw something about coaching.
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And she said, that's what you need to do, Leslie.
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That is exactly you.
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So I was like, let me let me look into that.
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So, lo and behold, I fell in love with that.
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Got my coaching designation, got my ACC designation within the ICI the international
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coaching federation.
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And from there, really, it just sort of started blooming into, working one on one with folks
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And then going into organizations and teams, people would just ask me.
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At this point, I was also, working full time in a really high paced corporate role.
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That I loved.
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So I was trying to fit it all in.
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And then, over the last, you know, while I I I've made the big step and went out as an
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entrepreneur.
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And now that's what I do.
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I work with individuals, teams, organizations to, increase their positive energy, positive,
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emotional intelligence, and, you know, really just improve quality of life, and workplaces.
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Through, addressing organizational culture.
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So let's let's talk about, you know, I think all of us, first of all, including me, Energy
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is a commodity.
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Right?
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Like, I mean, it's something that's, you know, some days you get up and you're like, woah.
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I I'm on top of the world.
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On other days, you kinda weave and wane.
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Would you would you Absolutely.
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So when you go into organizations and what what what capacity might might they have you in to
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kind of look at things like emotional intelligence?
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I want you to define emotional intelligence for some people that maybe don't know what it is
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and how that impacts energy.
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Yeah.
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Oh, great.
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Great question.
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So emotional intelligence sort of in a high level in a nutshell is our ability to self
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regulate and self manage our own emotions as well as in a very healthy way, interact with
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others and their emotions notice them, empathy, healthy assertiveness, our own self regard.
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The key to understanding, how emotional intelligence can work for us or against us is,
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we're all emotionally intelligent or we believe ourselves to be, but it's how are we when
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there's stress or conflict, or something triggering us at that point, then how are we
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tapping into our emotional intelligence?
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Right?
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And that's really around where folks would either bring me into their world to do one on
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one coaching.
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To talk about emotional intelligence or bring into the organizations.
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So I have a proprietary program, that's positive forward motion in the fast lane and
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fast stands for frustrations, assumptions, stresses, and triggers.
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And I don't know about you, Roxanne, but I know I have a few of those on some days.
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So And when we're in a leadership position and and even if we're just the leaders of our own
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lives, it's how are we how are we thriving and staying really emotionally intelligent and and
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positive energy when we're being triggered.
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Now that doesn't mean to your point that we don't wake up some days, even me who people are
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like, Do you always have so much energy?
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No.
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Yes and no.
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Right?
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It's a choice, and I'll I'll get to that after.
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But, Some days we wake up and we really need to just kinda what I call turtle.
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We need to just, you know, be by ourselves or or stay stay quiet and and protect our own
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energy.
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And sometimes we're just grumpy.
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Right?
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And that's okay.
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Right?
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The first key to, really being emotionally intelligent is honoring and accepting our
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emotions because once we honor and accept them, then we can deal with them.
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If we're pretending we don't have them, or if we're pushing them down, it's what I call
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emotional whack a mole.
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Like, we push down an emotion and it pops up over here as a fight with our spouse or or a
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family or a friend or we push something down over here and we end up snapping at somebody in
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the grocery store or crying at a commercial right, our emotions need to be honored, and
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that's in life, and that's in the workplace.
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So really having a way to under stand your triggers, and that's what the positive forward
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motion programming does.
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It's in a in a very safe way and confidential.
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Obviously, all coaching is confidential.
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Then when I work with organizations, this kind of information, even if we're doing a workshop,
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this stays confidential to the person.
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It's a little bit of that inner work.
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But really starting to understand what what is triggering us?
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What's making us hot under the collar?
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And then And then from there, there's an index of 7 sort of buckets of, emotional, emotions or
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categories of where we where our emotions are gonna fall.
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So on this energy leadership index, then that's when I said you can start making a choice.
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Then you can say, okay.
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Am I feeling level 1?
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Am I feeling level 2?
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Am I level 5 today?
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Right.
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Where am I, or where am I right now?
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And what am I gonna do about Right?
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So it's really once you can understand that that index in your emotional intelligence, then
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you get to make the decisions in a very conscious way of what you're gonna do with it.
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Right?
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And this from from a leadership position, this is critical, right, because there's always eyes
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on you.
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I would say you're like the flight attendants of an organization right, or of your team,
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they're looking at you.
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Right?
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So if you panic, if there's a big change coming and you panic, they're gonna panic.
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But if you're able to manage your own emotions and then help regulate the motions of the folks
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that are either on your team, then it's win win.
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Right?
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You're already on your way to a more
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positive culture.
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Because I'll absolutely as, you know, being around a lot of leaders or also being a leader
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myself.
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Absolutely.
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It was such, you were constantly quote, unquote, the pivot point in in on the team
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because if I acted badly, there was a, like, a peripheral effect of all the team members.
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And but if I was able to kind of help them understand that this is a tough time, and and
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allow them in to say, I'm gonna do the best I can with what what's going on.
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And what do you need from me sometimes I find that a lot of leaders are disconnected from
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that space because oftentimes, the higher up you get up in the in the hierarchy, You know,
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the perception is that person has, a bit less responsibility to connect.
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Do you agree with that statement?
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So do you say the perception is that they have?
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Yeah.
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It's almost like if I'm the CEO versus if I'm the front line manager some degree.
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I often say that, you know, we all still wanna relate to the CEO, the senior senior team, and
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obviously the front line and the middle managers.
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But sometimes the perception is, that they're allowed to be a a little bit less connected.
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Oh, that's interesting.
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Some of the best higher level leaders, CEOs, C Suites executives, are really the ones that
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really understand exactly what you were just describing that really empathetic, connection
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to people, even just remembering names in the hall.
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It doesn't mean they need to sort of jump into their, into their life and know, you know,
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their husband or wife or boyfriend girlfriend, family's names, but really just, hey, Leslie.
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Hey, Roxanne.
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Good to see you.
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How's it going in that department?
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Some of the best leaders that I've that I've had the honor to work with and for, as well as
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ones that have been narrated to me are really those ones regardless of what level you're at,
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they're really still maintaining that interpersonal connection.
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And interpersonal is one of the, sub competencies within, emotional intelligence
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that makes them very, very successful.
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And if you've been home that interpersonal, you actually have a lot more you have a better
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chance of, promotion, retention, and engagement.
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Just one more thing that you mentioned there when you were describing that situation, you
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were describing a very empathetic leader, which is another really key thing.
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If if we want our folks to work hard, as a leader, they need to want to do it for the
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leader.
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Right?
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And so if you are having those really understanding and empathetic conversations with
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them, and that relationship building with them, then you are, again, through that, like,
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another sub competency is, empathy of, emotional intelligence then you're really
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increasing your emotional intelligence.
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Mhmm.
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Interestingly enough, though, one of the first emotional intelligent competencies don't go
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when when we're frustrated or we're in the fast lane is empathy.
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That's when we really start.
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Then it becomes We put up our blinders, and then it's all about, oh, this person did this
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or I'm feeling this.
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We're really we we really start to close our our worldview and that from a leadership
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perspective, we do it too.
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Right?
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That's that's life.
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We're humans.
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At that point, that's when you need to start tapping in and say, okay.
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From a consciousness level, am I being empathetic in this situation?
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Right?
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Do you
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so I'm gonna tell you, I've had a bit of both experiences working with companies Okay.
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In my in as an executive, there were either really, really good, empathetic connected
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leaders or the ones that when they became when they got under pressure, what happened,
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unfortunately, they re they were reactive.
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So do you do you think there's more of a tempo now?
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In organizations to accept, emotional intelligence as a as a basic metric for
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productivity.
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Oh, absolutely.
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That's such a great point.
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So I would say even out over the last year or so, a lot of organizations that have brought me
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in, either to do one on one coaching, and that's a positive thing.
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Folks, they've they've they, sometimes worry that if they're, tapped for, leadership or
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executive coaching that they've done something wrong, it's really it's an honor.
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Right?
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Like, they're usually there's a great potential here, and we wanna, you know, foster that.
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So don't think if you get touched for coaching that, that that's, necessarily a bad thing.
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But what a lot of folks do if I'm working with teens, it could be individuals or if I'm doing
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workshops with teens, they're actually building starting to build the goals and outcomes that
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we set in our workshops right into whenever their version of, their performance management
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is so that no longer are we what I like to call sidelining the fluff?
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It's bringing the fluff or the soft skills to the forefront And they're really building those
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in because what can happen is if we have those, for lack of a better word, I'll say, bad
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behaviors or catabolic energy.
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So catabolic behaviors are that negative, a little bit lower level.
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Not great energy.
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If we let that run free in the in the workplace, without addressing it, and coaching
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or performance measures around it, then that starts to spread in the workplace.
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And then that becomes a really contagious right and from there.
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So that, as you know, that was, our, what I did my disrupt HR talk on.
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So, you know, a little bit about this.
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From that conversation, but we really want to identify it, in a in a positive positive
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forward motion or a positive constructive way sort of building that into, our folks
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development plans and our own development plans, right, to understand where where we're
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falling and and what we
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can do about it.
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So that's amazing.
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So let's talk a little bit.
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Would you mind talking about the level dev different levels of energy?
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Because I
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I would love to.
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Because I think that's that's the part, that I find fascinating.
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And, you know, I think, Sometimes people are unaware that they're unaware.
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Right?
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And then sorry.
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Go ahead.
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Sometimes, you know, and then you think, oh, I'm doing this pretty good.
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And then you realize, oh, actually, I'm I'm I I didn't realize I was doing this or whatever.
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So I'd love to hear the different levels.
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Okay.
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And I'm sure I'm gonna assume people listening also would like to know about those different
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levels and kind of where we, you know, I'm gonna be thinking where do I sit?
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Yeah.
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Well, that will make my day.
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If you start thinking in levels, one thing before I get started in the level that you just
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said about we don't always know what we don't know.
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Harvard Business or Harvard University did a study and they found that 47% of our time is
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lost to unconscious thought 47%, which means 47% of the time, we don't even know what kinds
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of energy or signs or signals, we're putting it on out into the world.
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Right?
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And so a lot of the training that I do really sort of has a a multi pronged approach.
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1 is, in so that we understand our our emotional intelligence and what we're sending
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the energy we're sending out into the world, as 1, 2, we wanna claw back a bit of that 47% of
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the time, be more mindful that mindful leadership, being a mindful leader of your own
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life, being mindful in your organizations so that we're clawing back and owning more of that
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47%.
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Right?
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We we want more than half of a day in our own lives.
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And then, the third part is, is, okay.
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So what can we do?
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Now that we know better, is it Maya Angelo?
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Now that we know better, do better.
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Once you know better, do better.
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Okay.
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So that's that's really interesting.
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I think 47% of the time, what did I do with that day?
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Okay.
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So now we'll talk about the levels.
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So I am, a certified a master practitioner of the energy leadership index.
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So what this index is, is, an index of 7 levels, and it is starts the bottom 2 are
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catabolic energy, which is a heavier, more judgmental, can be angry, can be powerlessness.
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And then the higher levels 3 to 7 are what's referred to as anabolic energy, and that's much
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more productive proactive, innovative, compassionate, empathetic, all of that great,
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great stuff.
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The terminology is very intentionally not negative energy and positive energy because
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each of the levels has advantages and disadvantages.
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And sometimes we need I'll explain it, but sometimes we need a little bit of that level 2
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fire in our belly to move us up.
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Right?
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So and I'll explain what that means a little bit, but it's just sort of making the fact,
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making the point that, that all the levels serve a time and a place and a space.
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Right?
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He is how long are you staying at the lower level?
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And, you know, are you making sure not to sort of unpack?
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So, in a nutshell, in a high level, and again, anyone can follow-up with me to find out of
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this and do an assessment because it it comes with it and then you can see where where your
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inner energy is.
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The first level is, sort of sort of that victim status, sort of at the victim of things
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happening to us, we tend to feel powerless, very lethargic.
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Like, you can even feel something happens and, you feel very, like, I don't have the energy
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for this.
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I can't do this.
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You know, I always try and I never get ahead.
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Right?
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So then you go to level 2.
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Level 2 is categorized around linked.
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Right?
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So it's the I'm gonna win and you are gonna lose.
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Right?
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And so it's resistance.
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It's forcefulness.
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It can be, all of that can be in your head.
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It doesn't certainly mean you're an outwardly angry person, but it can even be worse if it
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still stays in your head.
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And so at this at this level, people are all about black and white right and wrong.
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I'm gonna win this.
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You know, you ask somebody who's at level 2 energy, or when we're in our level 2 energy,
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you ask them something, and it's likely gonna be instance or frustration.
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Mhmm.
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Then we move up to level 3, which is the first level of that anabolic energy I was mentioning.
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And so this is the first time So level 1 and level 2, you're like this.
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So level 3 is the first time you look.
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Okay.
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There might actually be something out there bigger than just me.
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Maybe this person or this situation, maybe there's another side.
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Right?
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And so you start to be able to rationalize and kind of, like, Okay.
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You can take responsibility in it.
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Like, okay.
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So maybe I did that, but they did this.
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Right?
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So that a little bit of that level 2 still can still be there.
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But you're able to, to kind of rationalize it and, and move ahead a little bit, see the other
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side.
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Level 4, we go up to, and that's all about, compassion and service to others.
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So when we can tap into our level 4 energy or if we have folks who are primary level fours or
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our organizations or in our life, they're the ones who are they're the cares.
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They're kind of those re the relationship knitters.
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Right?
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They make sure everybody is is feeling good.
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People are taken care of just like you were describing earlier, those empathetic question
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or empathetic, conversations that you have, So the competency over in emotional intelligence
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is really served when you're in your level 4.
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Right?
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We move up to level 5.
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And that's all about opportunity.
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They're natural problem solvers.
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They're, always looking for what, you know, something doesn't matter if something goes
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right or wrong because they can always do more move it forward.
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Right?
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So they are the ones who are if you if you take a problem to a level 5 leader, they're gonna
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find a way to make it even better than it was before.
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Right?
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And you can imagine how different that would be to than taking something to someone who's
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either a level 2 leader or in a level 2 mood and you take a problem with them.
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There's gonna be, you know, force, right, or even a level 1, like, well, I didn't think it
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was gonna work anyways.
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Right?
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So you can see how our energy really interconnects us to ourselves and others.
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Then we move up to our level 6.
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Level 6 is all about visionary and innovation.
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So this is people who are you're you're just doing something like you could be even when
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you're at home and and, in your home office, Roxanne, and you're making something or
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crafting something.
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You're you're really using that creative energy.
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That's a real level 6 attribute.
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And then level 7 is, is not a level that people live at.
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You don't have a primary level.
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7, but you wanna tap into that.
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That's where, you're in the flow or you're in your bliss.
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It's where you are, how happiest.
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Right?
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And so we really we really need to know what makes us happy, what gives us peace and
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purpose, because when we're in that lower level energy, which we all are, we need to get
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ourselves out.
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Right?
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And so as a little as a little trick Trick of the trade.
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I'll I'll say now when we're having those moments when we're level 1 or level 2, we wanna
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reset because energy is contagious.
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So sometimes if you're in level 1, then you have another level 1 thought, and then you have
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another level 1 thought, and now they're compounding, right, or it's same with level 2.
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And now you're madder.
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And matter and matter.
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And you're it's all going here.
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So, what we wanna do is pause and break our own thought cycle.
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So what I say, try to think of it from level 3.
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So if you're having those level 1, level twos, try to think of it from level 3 What could be
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another perspective?
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What could be the other side?
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What's another way to look at it?
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Right.
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If I was having this conversation with a friend or a loved one or my child, what would I tell
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them?
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Right?
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So that you're you're resetting your own thoughts almost with possibilities of what else
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it could be.
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Right?
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And then it tends to help get us out of our our selfness So that's the that's the index in a in
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a nutshell.
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Very, very quick version of it, but but that's it
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in a nutshell.
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So let's talk a little bit about moving from catabolic to anabolic.
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So I'm gonna say that we vacillate most of us Yeah.
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Definitely, I would say sometimes things are tough.
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We're done at 1 or 2.
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Yep.
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And that's normal.
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Yes.
24:12
But I'm gonna think that most functional teams probably vastly up and down from a 3 to say a
24:19
5?
24:20
Yep.
24:20
Yep.
24:21
3 to 3
24:21
to 5, 3 to 6.
24:22
Yep.
24:22
So let's say I'm a I'm a leader and, you know, I think I'm inheriting a team.
24:31
Yep.
24:32
And I'm starting.
24:33
What are some of the things that I should be kind of looking at to almost gauge or get a
24:39
pulse of my team and some things that I could do to help them along if I'm finding that there
24:44
are the lower end to, your, your, metric there.
24:50
So this is a fabulous question, and And sometimes this is exactly what I'm brought in
24:55
for.
24:56
So this is where we this is where it's really key to understand that, higher levels aren't
25:00
necessarily always better.
25:02
Right, and and that all the levels serve their purpose.
25:04
So if you're in a in a period of, big change management, little change management, anything
25:10
or if you have folks on your team who are at that level 1 and level 2, what you wanna do is
25:15
you wanna address it with a level 3 approach Right?
25:18
Because if you start telling them from level 6 about, no, it's amazing or even level 5.
25:23
It's amazing.
25:24
All these changes in 2 years, 3 years, we're gonna be on fire, and they're like, listen,
25:29
Roxanne.
25:30
Like, that doesn't help me write today.
25:33
Right.
25:33
Today, I don't like the change, or today, I'm feeling scared about where I'm gonna end up.
25:37
Right?
25:38
So what you wanna do then is is use the the levels to your advantage.
25:42
Use level 3 energy and say, you know what?
25:45
Okay.
25:46
So the level 3, the tagline is I'm gonna win I'd like you to win too, but but I'm gonna win.
25:51
So I being the leader and the change.
25:54
That that is going to happen.
25:56
Right?
25:56
But how are you then seeing it from their side?
25:59
And having those really empathetic.
26:01
So bringing over your AI competencies, those interpersonal, those healthiest assertiveness,
26:07
I'm using all of the AI competencies, staying at a level 3 and saying, this is how it is.
26:13
Tell me about it.
26:14
From your side, how can I help bring you along?
26:17
Right?
26:18
So you're you're winning in that the change is going to happen.
26:24
And so it's the the the win, from an organizational perspective and the leader,
26:29
their marching orders, if you will, but they're taking the time to understand that that people
26:34
need to come with them once you bring them over, and that could take a bit.
26:38
Right?
26:39
And then that's when you're gonna start getting triggered because then we switched into the,
26:43
why can't they just get it or, oh, do I have to have this conversation again?
26:47
Which is so natural.
26:49
Again, we don't wanna remember, we don't wanna deny our own emotions and our triggers because
26:53
then they're gonna pop up somewhere else.
26:55
But it's Having that consciousness.
26:57
Okay.
26:57
I'm now having level 2 thoughts.
27:00
Back to level 3, grounding myself as a leader or in my own life, I could be in the grocery
27:04
store having the same conversation slow walker in front of me.
27:08
Why are they walking slowly?
27:10
Maybe they have a sore foot.
27:13
Right?
27:13
It have people on the highway, cut in front of you, maybe they're in a bigger rush than I am.
27:19
Right?
27:19
It happens in a million ways in our lives every day.
27:23
But how are we seeing it from the other person's perspective?
27:26
Level 3 becomes that key to making the decision to go in positive forward motion towards
27:32
anabolic energy.
27:34
Does that answer what you're you're
27:35
asking there?
27:36
Absolutely.
27:36
And I often say that from, you know, my language is I wanna get out of my head and get
27:41
it to your head because I can understand better what Leslie's fear is or or what, you know,
27:47
maybe what your experience with change in the past was maybe less than positive, and you're
27:52
you're in fear mode.
27:53
And I'm trying to understand what are the pebbles that I can pull out of you to help you
27:58
along.
27:59
Absolutely.
28:00
And so this basically gives a really concrete framework and index.
28:05
People when they hear energy or emotional intelligence tend to be like, oh, that sounds
28:10
very fluffy and very new agey.
28:13
And so as you heard at the uh-uh at the disrupt HR, I'm here to science to fluff up.
28:19
Right?
28:19
And and say these are the these are the studies.
28:22
This is the information in the science, taking the fluff, if you will, from the sidelines to
28:27
the forefront because that's what's going to eat you up as an individual or really eat your
28:33
organization up in in a potentially negative way So what we wanna do is really look at
28:38
positive ways of of, with intention using this information as a concrete framework.
28:45
Right, for ourselves, for our teams, for organizations, for our lives.
28:51
Absolutely.
28:51
And I think it's something.
28:52
It's a it's a Ready, emotional intelligence is if I could say what I see it as is, just being
28:59
able to connect to myself so I can be aware of others around me and how I interplay with those
29:05
people around me regardless of the roles that I'm playing, whether I'm mom or I'm you know,
29:10
leader or I'm colleague or I'm peer or I'm, you know, hockey mom or whatever, just really
29:16
bringing that space within within my world.
29:19
You nailed it.
29:20
That's exactly.
29:21
Yeah.
29:21
And and sometimes that's difficult.
29:23
And I don't know.
29:25
And you know, I talk about authentic leadership, but what is what what and there was
29:29
a just a study I read, and I'm not remember where I read it from that.
29:32
Most most frontline people are wanting their leaders to be more connected to themselves.
29:37
Absolutely.
29:38
Absolutely.
29:39
And that is the 1st pillar of, of emotional intelligence is all about self regard,
29:46
emotional self awareness, Right?
29:48
And and really being able to an emotional self expression, you have to be able to know
29:55
yourself and be confident and have that that self regard to be able to then withstand all of
30:03
the stimulus that come at you in a day, especially as a leader.
30:08
And that can be a leader of your family.
30:10
It can be a leader of your life.
30:11
It can be, again, anything.
30:13
Because so much comes at us.
30:15
Our central nervous systems are not set to withstand the the level of stimulus that comes
30:22
out as a modern day.
30:23
We're we're wired for, like, a 100 years ago.
30:26
Right?
30:26
So we've actually stopped being mindful and knowing ourselves right, because we we
30:32
generally don't take pause.
30:34
We don't necessarily know ourselves because we're not taking the time to pause and be
30:39
mindful of how things are even affecting us.
30:42
So doing some emotional intelligence, coaching, and self reflection really helps that because
30:48
it gives us an opportunity to get to know ourselves.
30:51
And and, our inner growth truly drives our outer success.
30:57
Absolutely.
30:58
So what are some of the skills?
30:59
If leaders are listening and they're thinking, you know, I, you know, I'm pretty good.
31:05
I'm pretty mindful.
31:05
Oh, there's some kind of tips that you could give them, the ones that are listening to kind
31:10
of start to maybe apply today, to enhance their or even, like I said, to eventually maybe reach
31:18
out to you more if they're understanding what we've been talking about.
31:22
And I know that at any given point, 65 percent of companies are in flux.
31:27
So there's always Always.
31:29
Or, that ability to figure out ways to connect.
31:32
So what are some of the tips that you could maybe listen, gift to senior people or or
31:36
leaders listening?
31:37
Absolutely.
31:38
I would say, 1st of all, to really be understanding the point that your energy is
31:43
your choice.
31:44
Right?
31:44
So your emotional energy that what you put out is completely up to you.
31:50
So in any given moment, be listening.
31:52
Our bodies and our minds are always sending us the message on how we're feeling.
31:57
Right?
31:58
So instead of glazing over it and thinking, you know, it's normal that my shoulders are up
32:02
around my my ears.
32:04
Right?
32:04
It's not normal.
32:05
So take a moment.
32:06
Walk them down and think, what is it that made me tense?
32:11
Mhmm.
32:12
Right?
32:12
What is it that makes me angry?
32:14
What is it that's making me feel powerless, right, because those are starting to speak to
32:20
your triggers.
32:21
Right?
32:21
And again, know thyself.
32:23
So once you can know that, Then you can start creating skills and competencies around
32:28
addressing them.
32:29
Like, okay.
32:29
So I know when x happens, I react with y.
32:34
So I know I'm gonna have to see x tomorrow.
32:37
What can I do to own it?
32:40
And it could be I need to then look at it from level 3, what's the other side, or in order to
32:45
understand why is that a trigger.
32:47
Right?
32:48
So really start being very mindful of your emotions, even take an emotion emotion journal.
32:55
Right?
32:55
Doesn't matter if you're the president of a corporation or your frontline we all have
33:01
emotions.
33:02
That's us.
33:03
Right?
33:03
We are emotional beings.
33:04
So be starting really mindful and then And then how is as a leader, especially how is that then
33:11
being, communicated to those around me?
33:14
Because Your energy is introducing you before you ever say a word.
33:18
So you can say, oh, no.
33:20
It's not bothering me, but if your face is like this, Everyone in the room knows it's bothering
33:26
you.
33:26
Or if you're a leader and you walk into a department in the morning and you're like,
33:32
everybody's everybody around you is being now impacted by that as well.
33:38
They are going to be responding to that And if you walk in, sort of neutral or if you walk in
33:45
happy, people are gonna be responding to that.
33:47
What this doesn't mean is that you it all has to be rainbows and butter lies and you have to
33:51
walk in, bopping with a smile on your face.
33:53
Right?
33:54
Sometimes it just is having that transparency of communications, walking in and saying, It
34:00
this hasn't been the morning of my dreams.
34:02
I'm just gonna go into my office and do some quiet work while I regroup.
34:05
Right?
34:06
Because then now everyone in your department knows, okay, it's not me.
34:09
Because instantly, as soon as somebody comes in, we all start telling ourselves that story,
34:13
what did I do?
34:14
Could it be me?
34:16
Right?
34:16
So as a leader, really understand the impact you have on the culture around you.
34:22
And something is as simple as, oh, it's been a doozy of a morning.
34:26
I'm just gonna go and and take some some breaths and and regroup.
34:31
Right?
34:32
And and then you make that.
34:33
You make everyone able to be themselves in that situation.
34:38
And then if they have a bad morning just to say, okay.
34:41
You know what?
34:41
I just need 5 minutes.
34:44
So transparency, really.
34:46
So that if if as as the leader walking through the door and I know I have those mornings
34:51
sometimes.
34:52
Yep.
34:52
We all do.
34:53
And, and then they look at you as being, oh, well, he or she is really real.
34:58
And and you're being vulnerable enough to show me that you are real.
35:02
Yes.
35:03
So that when I have those moments, I can always say, you know, can I can I pause a little bit
35:07
to your point?
35:08
Can I can I have a 5?
35:10
And then I come back and then I pivot and then I could go back to kind of functioning of the
35:14
level that I need to.
35:15
Absolutely.
35:16
And really acknowledging that emotions are okay.
35:18
I used to always say to my staff when I worked.
35:20
I'm like, we are human first.
35:22
Right?
35:22
You you can't don't apologize for it.
35:24
Because we're human first.
35:26
Now that doesn't mean come in as a level 2 every day and be like, ah, that is something we
35:31
wanna start flushing out.
35:32
But the thing is that person might not even recognize the and realize, but to your point,
35:37
we don't know what we don't know.
35:38
So sometimes doing the assessments and really having deep deep dive into understanding what
35:45
what the index levels are as well as what emotional intelligence is really powerful
35:51
information for people to say, oh, it's such an investment in your teams, in yourself, to to
35:57
get to look at it and to talk it through in a very safe place.
36:01
Can I ask a question?
36:02
This is a bit of a pivot, but with the eye and mental health.
36:09
If you're if you're dealing with people with mental health concerns, what what's the
36:14
approach as the leader to kind of think about in reference to strategy if you recognize that
36:19
someone's struggling?
36:21
So that's a really interesting question.
36:23
So it would depend on, if it was mental health in terms of a diagnosis in which case that
36:31
would be a referral on.
36:34
Excuse me.
36:35
As an ICF coach, we have a, a code of ethics.
36:40
And within that, if I'm coaching somebody and I and I, come to understand that the person has a
36:48
a mental health issue, then I have a duty to respond to a or to refer to a counselor That
36:53
doesn't mean they can't also have a coach.
36:55
I I actually work with quite a few people who have counselors and I'm their coach, because we
37:00
can work sort of week to week small incremental goals while the counselor.
37:06
But if it's a mental wellness, so not a diagnosis, but a mental wellness, situation,
37:12
then I would do the exact same.
37:14
We would dig into the different sub competencies, try to find the things that are
37:18
triggering find where that's leading.
37:20
So if they're triggering something, then we would look in the positive forward motion in
37:25
the fast lane program.
37:26
Then there's a a number of, there's 10 modules.
37:29
And so within that, we find out, you know, where the energy is on a good day, on a normal
37:34
day, where we fall under stress that generally falls to either level 1 or level 2.
37:40
Because some things make us feel powerless and some things help us up.
37:44
Right?
37:44
So, and then understanding where our values, when those are triggered, and then and then
37:50
what we can do with all of these to move us forward in a really logistical way.
37:56
So removing the emotion from it once we've addressed the emotion, then or the trigger,
38:01
then having that level 3 real deep deep dive into what could be other things.
38:08
Awesome.
38:09
So that's that that Britney helps me understand.
38:11
So if if it's someone that's needing, obviously, professional help, you you triage
38:15
them accordingly.
38:16
Absolutely.
38:17
But if it's if it's just I'm vacillating, you know, between, anabolic to catabolic and the
38:24
sequences or things that I can do at that point.
38:26
You're assessing it and and and figuring out the next step.
38:29
Yeah.
38:30
And that's kind of why I was saying a little bit about, like, a, emotional journal because
38:36
Sometimes we don't even know that we're going back and forth.
38:38
Something's triggering us, but we're not paying attention to the patterns, or we're not
38:42
noticing the patterns.
38:43
And so we don't actually We just know, well, every day I get really irritated.
38:48
Okay.
38:48
But but what's irritating?
38:49
Well, I don't know.
38:50
Okay.
38:51
Mhmm.
38:51
So describe the situation.
38:53
Right?
38:53
For me, I know when I'm in level 1 energy, my stomach gets upset.
38:57
So now having practiced this for so many years, now when I get, like, that nerve Tommy, I'll
39:04
pause.
39:04
And, again, not mindfulness.
39:05
I was talking about I'll pause and be like, okay.
39:08
What just happened?
39:10
What was I thinking about?
39:11
Why do I have the nervous tummy?
39:13
Right?
39:14
5, 6 years ago, out of just out of like, oh, and mowed right through it, not even a given a
39:19
second that now I can assess it and say, okay.
39:21
Is that something for me to worry about, or is it not?
39:25
If it is, then what can I go and do about it?
39:28
And if it's not, now I know what it is and the nervous tummy's gone because I've addressed it.
39:32
So it's really starting to just honor and pay attention to your thoughts and emotions to make
39:38
you more effective in your life and in your workplace.
39:41
So I like that.
39:42
An emotional journal.
39:43
Yes.
39:44
I I like that.
39:45
I like that.
39:45
That's a strategy that I think could could be implemented and could absolutely use such
39:49
value.
39:50
Yeah.
39:51
So I've gained so much in such a short period of time.
39:53
And even though we've been chatting, I know we could spend more time.
39:56
So, Leslie, any final words, and I I'm I'm sure people are thinking, oh, what level am I at?
40:01
And and what can I do?
40:03
They have probably have a lot of questions.
40:05
So, tell them, any anything you wanna leave behind with us and where people can reach you
40:10
so they can, connect and and figure out what it would take to work with you.
40:14
Amazing.
40:15
Well, as you know, I can talk about this stuff all the time.
40:18
I really like, if I could get the whole world in positive forward motion.
40:22
One person, one thought, one emotion at a time.
40:26
That would be my, my most joyous contribution to the world.
40:31
I can be reached at Leslie Calvin.ca.
40:34
So that's my website.
40:36
And then also Leslie Calvin Coaching.
40:40
Atgmail.com.
40:42
And just to note that, I'm one of those unique spellings of the Lesley, which is with an So if
40:48
you if you try to search l e s l I e, you won't find me.
40:52
But so l e s l e y, as well, I'm on all the, social channels So, LinkedIn, instagram,
41:02
Facebook, and, Twitter.
41:04
As well as my programming around, your energy, your choice, that can be done, workshops.
41:10
That can be done 1 on 1.
41:12
Emotional intelligence.
41:13
I do it for intro, emotional intelligence communication, effective leadership, the
41:19
emotionally effective leader, as well my proprietary program, which is a positive
41:24
forward motion in the fast lane, is, a 6 month or 10.
41:29
It can be 6 months or 1 year, 10 module awesome program for complete transformational, of
41:37
emotions and behaviors.
41:38
Really.
41:38
It's a deep it's a deep dive into you, to move you forward in your life.
41:43
Awesome.
41:44
Awesome.
41:45
Well, I think I'm going to implement the emotional journal.
41:48
Oh, I love that.
41:49
That's great
41:50
to understand.
41:50
I I love that.
41:51
And, so, you know, I often say that My my tagline is that, if you take care of people you
42:02
don't have to worry about the ROI because I call it return on relationship.
42:07
So if you're implementing some of the things that Leslie has shared with us today, really,
42:11
you're seeing in your people.
42:12
And the bottom line takes care of itself.
42:15
So that's something that's really got reinforced by speaking with Leslie today.
42:18
So everyone, if you're ever needing more information on me, I'm Roxanne Derhodge.
42:22
I'm a mental health and wellness specialist, and, you can reach out to me at Roxanne Durgesh
42:27
dotcom.
42:28
So, Leslie, thanks again, and I'm sure we'll we'll see you soon.
42:32
Thanks so much, Roxanne.
42:34
Alright.
42:34
Take care.
42:35
Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
42:41
healthy change.
42:42
Roxanne is a kino speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
42:48
roxannedurhaj.com/blueprint.
42:52
We'll see you next time.
42:54
An authentic living with Roxanne.