Latest / Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50 / "THAT SHIP HAS SAILED" A MIDLIFE WAY OF SAYING "I JUST DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE"

Transcript

"THAT SHIP HAS SAILED" A MIDLIFE WAY OF SAYING "I JUST DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE" · Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50

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  Welcome to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast urging
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  you to let it go and don't look back, with nationally acclaimed
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  professional organizer Christine Stone and self-proclaimed Hot
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  Damn Mess radio and TV personality Eden Kendall.
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  Welcome everyone to Uncluttered and Unfiltered with a podcast
• 0:24
  for women over 50. I'm Eden.
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  I am very hoarse because I attended Monday Night Football
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  the week that we are recording this and scream my little heart
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  out for our beloved Jaguars. Christine is here, so
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  fortunately she hasn't lost her voice or her sense.
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  No, I haven't. No, I haven't.
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  So our episode today is kind of a a mini episode in a way
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  because we're in between getting together to record.
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  So we're doing this one virtually and we are doing the
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  subject that ship has sailed, which is something we posted on
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  our Ladies only uncluttered and unfiltered page a while back.
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  It's it's a little bit similar to some other topics we've done,
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  but the basic premise is this. You bring up something that you
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  know Once Upon a time you might have been down for, but now that
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  ship has. Sailed.
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  And and we, like I mentioned, asked you guys in our private
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  group, which will tell you at the end of this episode how you
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  can join that. And then also Chris will have as
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  a professional organizer, as she often does, will have a
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  organizational tip to share at the end of the show too.
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  What is the premise of today's organizational tip so we can
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  start looking forward to it? Getting holiday ready?
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  OK, that's perfect, Perfect time.
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  All right, so first, before we do anything else, let's let's
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  give our own. That should have sailed.
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  So do you want to go first? No, you go 1st and then I'll go.
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  Do you want all of mine or do you want no?
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  One at a time. Yeah, one at a time.
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  So the first one was the idea of going to work the next day after
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  a late night out. Like for example Monday Night
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  Football. I took Tuesday as a vacation day
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  because going to work after Monday Night Football or any
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  late night event that ship. Has 100% no, but 100% anytime
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  it's like as you get older, you have to schedule in that day
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  after, you know what I mean? Because you can't just wing it
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  and say maybe I'll feel good. Well, it's 100%.
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  You're not, you're not, you're not you're going to be tired.
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  You may have had a couple drinks and it's a weekday and you don't
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  ever drink, you know, no, it's, it's a done thing.
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  So I totally agree with that. OK now this may be controversial
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  but long vacations and when I mean long I mean like 2 week
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  vacations I can do at my age at 63 the longest I could possibly
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  do and I'm talking that's most likely to see family is one
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  week. Anything longer than a week I
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  want to go home either either by a week.
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  I have got a stye in my eye, I've got a bladder infection.
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  I'm tired, I my hair looks like hell.
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  Whatever it is by the end of that week, put a fork in me, I'm
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  done. And.
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  At the end of a week away, you need to see your General
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  practitioner. I, I need to go to the
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  chiropractor. I need to go at me.
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  Seriously, I am a mess. I'm out of my skin care routine,
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  so I'm breaking out. I mean, I can tell you it's that
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  ship is definitely sailed and I won't be talked into it anymore
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  either. Like people are like, come on,
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  it'll be fun, blah blah. No, that ship is sailed.
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  OK, all right, good point. Here's here's my next one.
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  Not writing it down like somebody says.
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  Hey, what do you think about, you know, this night, that night
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  sounds good to me. I'll put it in my calendar
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  later. Nope.
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  If I don't write it down, it is not getting in the calendar.
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  If I don't write down, if I'm having a conversation with you
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  and you mentioned that your birthday is in two weeks.
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  If I don't write it down, Yep, on a notepad right there.
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  I don't know if it's a physical act of writing it down, but it
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  is committing it to memory. That ship, it has sailed.
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  Yes, there's. No and to memory.
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  Have you ever written something down and said, who the hell is
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  that person that I wrote down? Million times I'll write
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  something down and I won't remember what I.
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  Wrote or, or if you wrote down something on your calendar and
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  you're like, what does that mean?
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  Like what, what is that? What was?
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  And then you're like, hopefully somebody will call me to remind
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  me of whatever that means. Like, you know, a doctor's
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  appointment, your trees are getting trimmed.
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  Whatever it is, someone will call and or text with a
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  reminder. I agree.
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  What about how stressed does it make you?
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  Because this stresses me out when a server tries to not write
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  down your order and it's like a whole table full of people.
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  It makes me irate because I don't care if they've done it a
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  million times and they never get it wrong.
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  I'm going to sit there the entire time freaking hoping you
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  missed something just because. I write it down.
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  Just write it. Down right.
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  Right, I I agree. I agree.
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  I'm. Not writing it down because
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  there's no chance you're remembering it, because now I'm
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  going around the table mentally trying to remember everyone's
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  order right to see if it can be done.
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  Right. And what we, what people don't
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  understand is because we're older, we're like, they should
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  have written that down. But they're like 22 and they're
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  like, listen, old lady, I, I don't need to write this down.
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  I got you, you know, and you're like, boy, I remember those
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  days, right? OK, so my next one is feeling
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  guilty about pampering myself. I am.
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  I used to feel so guilty about whatever it was, even if it was
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  getting my nails done or getting a pedicure.
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  I always felt like maybe I should be doing this instead.
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  Or, you know, when you were a mom with kids.
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  It's like I am like that ship has sailed.
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  If I want to go do anything to make myself a massage, you know,
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  a facial, getting my hair blown out, I want to be able to do it
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  and, and I do do it without feeling guilty anymore.
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  I feel like it's something that makes me feel better about
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  myself and that's it. That ship has sailed of feeling
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  guilty about it. Love it.
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  I love that for you and me. Skinny, skinny, tight, tight
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  jeans. I mean, you know, if they, I
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  don't mind if they're stretchy and look like skinny jeans.
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  It's not the fashion about it, it's the feeling about it.
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  I know you say this a lot. I the only time I ever wear
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  skinny jeans is in the winter with high boots.
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  That's it. I don't wear them any other
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  time. I live in Florida.
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  We've talked about this before. It's 100 million even now and
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  we're in October. It's hot.
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  So skinny jeans are out. Yes, that ship is sailed for
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  sure. OK, so saying yes to things I
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  really don't want to do. I think we've discussed this in
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  like prior episodes, but I always have to mention this
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  again because I think a lot of women feel this way, like they
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  do a lot for other people just because they don't want to feel
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  guilty. But they'd rather be home or be
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  doing something, enjoy doing, whether it's gardening or arts
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  and crafts or whatever, painting, writing, whatever it
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  is, but they're doing something for somebody else.
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  And then they go in and you don't have fun.
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  You're just sitting there in your mind.
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  You're thinking, God, I'd rather be, I'd rather be.
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  And you just keep thinking of all the things you'd rather be
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  doing. So when I say yes to something,
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  I really mean it now. Like I really want to be there.
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  You know what I mean? Sure.
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  It's because, yeah, yeah, because that ship is sailed of
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  me, like pretending and then going and then wishing I was
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  home or doing something else. Throng underwear.
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  Oh well, that ship hasn't sailed yet for me.
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  Yeah. I mean, well, you have to
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  sometimes, like in a dress that I would rather wear.
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  I've gone from where like let's say I'm wearing I'll wear more
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  like spandex like almost like shapewear.
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  Yeah, that are long versus. Yes.
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  Just a thong. Like I would much rather have
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  that to avoid the panty lines than the thong, given the
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  choice. Now there are going to be
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  situations where that's not something that can be done, but
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  so that's mine. Do you have another one too?
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  Well, I have one last one and I I talk about this a lot.
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  So you're, because I even send you funny things about it.
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  I no longer feel guilty about enjoying my home and being home.
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  I used to feel so guilty from everyone, from my husband, from
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  my kids, from my friends. You know, don't you want to go
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  out? Don't you want to do this?
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  And it's not that I don't ever want to go out because I do, but
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  I no longer feel guilty if I just want to put my pajamas on
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  at 7:00 at night and get in bed and get on my iPad and look at
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  Pinterest, like that's, that's what I want to do and that's
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  what I'm going to do. I think when you create a home,
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  that is exactly how you want it to be.
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  It's, it's, it shouldn't be something you feel guilty about.
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  So that ship is sailed. And I love being home and not
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  feeling guilty about it anymore. I love that too.
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  I do. I don't mind at all.
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  In fact, great example of that is now that our kid works for
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  the hometown team, we get tickets.
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  I don't know if I should even be saying all this, but we we have
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  an opportunity. We have a couple of different
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  ways where we get tickets to go to the games, to the NFL games.
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  And my husband and I went three last three home games and we
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  were just at Monday Night Football and it's a quick turn
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  around week for them. So it's not even a full week.
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  Sunday, they're going to be back again home.
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  And I was like, do you think you could get someone else to go
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  with you? I just want a day, a Sunday.
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  It's not just even Sunday home. It's a Sunday where you're gone
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  and you. Know I mean because of that
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  that's true. Bonus bonus time alone because
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  our son is living with us right now.
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  So you're both gone. Right.
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  And if you take our daughter with you, then my phone won't
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  even ping with questions. So it's like a total alone day
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  for me. I agree and.
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  And a lot of people are like, are you kidding me?
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  You'd, you know, miss a fun day like that.
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  Yep, Yep. I'm gonna have a fun day.
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  I'm gonna be watching the game on TV and doing laundry.
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  Maybe. Meal prepping and yeah, we're
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  skating in my kitchen like I do. And I'm into meal prepping now
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  too. I like to meal prep on Sundays
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  as well, like getting. Everything that down because I
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  won't remember that. I want us to have a further
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  discussion about that. So not writing it down.
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  We know I'm not gonna not write it down.
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  Right, right. Oh my God, that's so.
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  Funny, yeah. So you have come up with some
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  amazing topics that we've never done because neither of us wrote
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  them down. So.
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  Right, exactly. All right, so I thought if you
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  don't mind, we could read some of these that are lovely,
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  wonderful family members in our ladies only Facebook group.
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  Love it. We asked this question, it was
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  actually quite a while ago and we just said, you know what is a
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  sentence you can say that you could end with, but that ship
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  has sailed. So Jen said Jen two of two
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  people said Jen and Josephine both said 4 inch heels.
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  Hi. Oh yeah, for sure, we've talked
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  for. Sure, for sure.
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  I mean, that's no doubt. Shannon said dating adapting my
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  personality for the purpose of approval seeking.
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  I agree with her too. In dating, I guess she means it
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  as it relates to dating, Kathleen says.
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  Driving through the night to avoid traffic.
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  Yeah, I'm not one. I don't drive at night ladies,
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  so I'm already at that point. I try to avoid it at all cost.
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  Aaron is with you about saying yes, you know, always saying
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  yes. I'm saving the one I love the
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  most for last. Christine also agreed with the
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  shoe thing. And then Britta said camping.
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  She's like, I'm not going camping.
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  You know, I for a while, I well, for a while, I really wanted to
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  do glamping, you know, where they set the tent up for you and
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  it's all ready for you. Even that now I'm like, yeah,
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  no, I just bugs and mosquitoes. And unless it's the perfect
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  weather, like, what if it's pouring down rain once you get
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  there? Yeah, I agree with her.
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  That ship has sailed. All right, well, let's, let's do
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  this. Let's let's end things here real
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  quick with an organizational tips.
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  So that's what we do, and then we'll tell you all the ways to
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  get in touch with us. OK, so you might think this is
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  early. Well, it's not that early
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  really, but now is the best time to start getting ready for the
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  holidays. I have already done it myself
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  when I'm out and about. I've picked up like little eye
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  masks to put in gifts. I've picked up some gift cards
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  already. I've picked up gift bags for the
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  holidays. I've already started the whole
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  process. I have one shelf in my office
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  that I'm making is a gifting shelf so I can just pull from
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  it. I have an alpha door rack on my
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  door in my office. I hang all the gift bags on it.
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  I have my tape, my red pens, my green pens, whatever.
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  Everything's organized and ready to go.
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  Because when you wait till the last minute, not only is
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  everything gone, you can't find anything, everything's out of
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  stock or whatever, but it's just more stress on you.
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  You're like, where's the tape? Where's the scissors?
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  I have no more gift bags. I mean, the easiest gift to give
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  is a bottle of wine or champagne or whatever you want to give.
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  So having those type of bags on hand, always ready to go.
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  So getting ready now for the holiday season when it comes to
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  gifting because way waiting till the last minute will cause you
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  frustration, anxiety and stress and it can really really be
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  alleviated if you do it early. I also want to add to this, it
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  could be another tip. It's, it's one of your tips when
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  you say, pick up your your storage stuff now too, like the
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  containers you might put your ornaments in if you don't have
• 16:10
  enough of those. Because those are gone usually
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  right after Christmas, aren't they?
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  Yeah, I like to pick, Yeah, picking those up if you need
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  them. I just don't want people to go
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  buy a bunch. And they don't really need them
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  because a lot of people over 50, they've really thinned out their
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  holiday decorations because they're empty nesters.
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  Their kids have their own families.
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  Like, for instance, we're going to my daughter's not for the
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  first time ever. Nobody is coming to my house.
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  So guess what? I'm not decorating on the inside
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  because it's just me and my husband.
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  I mean, I'll put like a few little things up, but I normally
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  go way, all the way out because I have grandkids.
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  And I just said this year, if nobody's coming, I mean, why am
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  I going to do, I mean, and I mean nobody because we're going
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  to be gone up there for five days.
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  So I just think being super organized as you become an empty
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  nester and you don't have the responsibilities you once had,
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  so take advantage of it. So you can always find, you can
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  always find Christine on her Instagram, neatly designed.
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  She's also on all the socials with that too.
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  And just great tips always. I am a much more organized
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  person just from, you know, being in your orbit.
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  So I love hearing, you know, all of these tips, even if it's
• 17:37
  again and again, we all need to be reminded.
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  So always stick with us for that through the end.
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  And we are going to be back soon.
• 17:45
  We have I, I realized I had so many different things I wanted
• 17:48
  to share with you that it was a whole episode.
• 17:50
  So that's why I was like, OK, I had two or three different
• 17:52
  stories I wanted to to share with you and you had some for
• 17:55
  me. But I'm like, you know what,
• 17:56
  let's do that on another episode.
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  So that. When your voice is back.
• 18:01
  When my voice is back exactly. So everyone, please do do all
• 18:06
  the things you know, the reviews, the thumbs up, all of
• 18:08
  that really does help the algorithm, which helps other
• 18:11
  ladies find us. But the most important thing you
• 18:14
  could do if you would just share our podcast with one friend,
• 18:17
  whether it's on social media where you do one of those share
• 18:19
  things where you're like, Hey, I listen to this podcast and you
• 18:22
  would like it too. Or maybe go to our ladies only
• 18:26
  group on Facebook, request to join.
• 18:27
  And then once you're in, you can invite other people into that
• 18:30
  group. But we just want to grow this
• 18:32
  community because, you know, we love, we love having each other
• 18:37
  to to lean on. Yes, so and I love all the
• 18:41
  everyone shares information. I love that.
• 18:44
  Yeah, and, and nobody is shy about, well, I shouldn't say
• 18:46
  nobody, but we love when you are not shy about putting up a
• 18:50
  little request of some sort, you know, Hey, does anyone know the
• 18:53
  answer to this or that? So it really is community.
• 18:56
  So here's how I'm going to end this episode.
• 18:58
  I'm going to say trying to go it alone.
• 19:01
  You can let that go. And don't look back.