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Transcript

Journey Through Misdiagnosis, Trauma, and Healing · Skirts Up!

• 0:10
  If
• 0:10
  you
• 0:10
  got
• 0:10
  a
• 0:11
  problem,
• 0:11
  Lottie's
• 0:12
  got
• 0:12
  the
• 0:13
  answer?
• 0:14
  She
• 0:14
  won't
• 0:14
  sugarcoat
• 0:15
  them?
• 0:16
  Cause
• 0:16
  it's
• 0:16
  Lottie
• 0:16
  and
• 0:16
  Lottie
• 0:17
  don't
• 0:17
  lie?
• 0:25
  Cause
• 0:25
  it's
• 0:26
  Lottie
• 0:26
  and
• 0:26
  Lottie
• 0:27
  don't
• 0:27
  lie.
• 0:29
  Welcome
• 0:29
  to
• 0:29
  Lottie
• 0:30
  Don't
• 0:30
  Lie.
• 0:30
  It's
• 0:30
  Samantha
• 0:31
  and
• 0:31
  Melissa.
• 0:32
  And
• 0:33
  today
• 0:33
  our
• 0:34
  episode
• 0:34
  is
• 0:34
  a
• 0:35
  little
• 0:35
  bit
• 0:35
  different.
• 0:36
  When
• 0:36
  we
• 0:37
  play
• 0:37
  this
• 0:37
  recording,
• 0:38
  you'll
• 0:38
  notice
• 0:39
  that
• 0:39
  it
• 0:39
  is
• 0:40
  just
• 0:41
  me
• 0:41
  talking
• 0:42
  because
• 0:42
  Melissa
• 0:43
  kindly
• 0:44
  let
• 0:44
  me
• 0:45
  ramble
• 0:46
  on
• 0:46
  to
• 0:47
  myself
• 0:47
  about
• 0:47
  my
• 0:47
  own
• 0:48
  story
• 0:48
  to
• 0:48
  you
• 0:48
  guys.
• 0:49
  So
• 0:49
  it's
• 0:50
  definitely
• 0:50
  different
• 0:51
  and
• 0:51
  interesting.
• 0:52
  It's
• 0:52
  going
• 0:53
  to
• 0:53
  be
• 0:53
  really
• 0:53
  interesting.
• 0:54
  I
• 0:54
  actually
• 0:54
  haven't
• 0:54
  heard
• 0:54
  it
• 0:55
  yet
• 0:55
  myself
• 0:55
  either,
• 0:55
  guys.
• 0:57
  It's
• 0:57
  just
• 0:57
  one
• 0:57
  of
• 0:57
  those
• 0:58
  things
• 0:58
  where
• 0:58
  Sam
• 0:58
  needed
• 0:59
  space.
• 0:59
  She
• 0:59
  wanted
• 0:59
  space
• 1:00
  to,
• 1:00
  like,
• 1:00
  tell
• 1:00
  her
• 1:01
  story.
• 1:02
  So
• 1:02
  I
• 1:03
  cannot
• 1:03
  wait
• 1:03
  to
• 1:05
  hear
• 1:05
  her
• 1:06
  story
• 1:06
  and
• 1:06
  receive
• 1:07
  it.
• 1:08
  So
• 1:08
  thank
• 1:08
  you
• 1:08
  for
• 1:08
  sharing.
• 1:10
  Yeah,
• 1:10
  of
• 1:10
  course.
• 1:11
  It
• 1:12
  was
• 1:12
  kind
• 1:12
  of
• 1:13
  hard.
• 1:13
  One,
• 1:14
  because
• 1:14
  it
• 1:14
  is,
• 1:14
  like,
• 1:15
  super
• 1:15
  personal.
• 1:16
  Two,
• 1:16
  I
• 1:16
  did
• 1:17
  get
• 1:17
  emotional
• 1:18
  at
• 1:18
  some
• 1:18
  point
• 1:18
  in
• 1:18
  it,
• 1:19
  and
• 1:19
  so
• 1:19
  I'm
• 1:19
  embarrassed
• 1:20
  about
• 1:20
  that.
• 1:21
  But
• 1:22
  three,
• 1:22
  there
• 1:22
  is
• 1:23
  some
• 1:23
  statistics
• 1:24
  in
• 1:24
  it
• 1:24
  that
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  very
• 1:25
  important
• 1:26
  and
• 1:26
  need
• 1:26
  to
• 1:27
  be
• 1:27
  more
• 1:27
  known.
• 1:28
  So
• 1:28
  that's.
• 1:29
  Honestly,
• 1:29
  if
• 1:30
  the
• 1:30
  statistics
• 1:31
  are
• 1:31
  what
• 1:31
  gets
• 1:31
  out,
• 1:32
  then
• 1:32
  it's
• 1:32
  worth
• 1:33
  it.
• 1:33
  And
• 1:33
  if
• 1:33
  people
• 1:34
  start
• 1:34
  getting
• 1:34
  diagnosed
• 1:34
  correctly,
• 1:35
  like,
• 1:35
  it's
• 1:36
  worth
• 1:36
  it.
• 1:36
  That's.
• 1:37
  Yeah.
• 1:37
  I'm
• 1:37
  really
• 1:38
  actually
• 1:38
  anxious
• 1:38
  to
• 1:39
  hear
• 1:39
  it
• 1:39
  all
• 1:39
  now.
• 1:40
  But
• 1:41
  it's
• 1:41
  because
• 1:41
  it's
• 1:41
  Mental
• 1:42
  Health
• 1:42
  month,
• 1:42
  too,
• 1:43
  right?
• 1:43
  And
• 1:44
  we
• 1:44
  decided,
• 1:44
  like,
• 1:45
  let's
• 1:45
  share.
• 1:46
  Let's
• 1:46
  share.
• 1:47
  Yeah.
• 1:47
  Which
• 1:47
  is
• 1:48
  hard.
• 1:48
  It
• 1:48
  is
• 1:48
  hard.
• 1:48
  But
• 1:49
  thank
• 1:49
  you.
• 1:49
  You're
• 1:50
  welcome.
• 1:50
  And
• 1:51
  yours
• 1:51
  is
• 1:51
  coming
• 1:51
  up
• 1:52
  soon,
• 1:52
  so.
• 1:52
  Yeah,
• 1:53
  I
• 1:53
  think
• 1:54
  sooner.
• 1:54
  We
• 1:54
  both
• 1:55
  get.
• 1:55
  We
• 1:55
  really
• 1:56
  both
• 1:56
  get
• 1:56
  deep.
• 1:57
  Yeah,
• 1:58
  it
• 1:58
  gets.
• 1:58
  It
• 1:59
  gets
• 1:59
  deep.
• 2:00
  But
• 2:01
  I
• 2:01
  don't
• 2:01
  want
• 2:01
  you
• 2:01
  to
• 2:01
  be
• 2:01
  embarrassed.
• 2:02
  They
• 2:02
  got
• 2:02
  emotional.
• 2:03
  I
• 2:03
  feel
• 2:03
  like
• 2:03
  that's
• 2:04
  what
• 2:04
  can
• 2:04
  kind
• 2:05
  of
• 2:05
  like,
• 2:05
  bond
• 2:05
  us
• 2:05
  all
• 2:05
  together
• 2:06
  is
• 2:06
  like,
• 2:06
  knowing
• 2:07
  that
• 2:07
  we've
• 2:07
  all
• 2:08
  been
• 2:08
  through
• 2:08
  some
• 2:08
  shit.
• 2:09
  Right?
• 2:09
  That
• 2:09
  is
• 2:10
  true.
• 2:10
  It's
• 2:10
  the
• 2:10
  vulnerability
• 2:11
  that's
• 2:11
  kind
• 2:11
  of.
• 2:12
  Kind
• 2:12
  of
• 2:12
  why
• 2:12
  we're
• 2:12
  here,
• 2:13
  Right?
• 2:14
  Exactly.
• 2:14
  It's
• 2:15
  exactly
• 2:15
  why
• 2:15
  we're
• 2:16
  here.
• 2:17
  So.
• 2:17
  Which
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  guys
• 2:18
  might
• 2:18
  actually
• 2:19
  find
• 2:19
  really
• 2:19
  funny,
• 2:21
  the
• 2:21
  fail
• 2:22
  that
• 2:22
  happened
• 2:22
  today.
• 2:23
  So
• 2:23
  Melissa
• 2:24
  and
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  are
• 2:24
  getting
• 2:24
  ready
• 2:24
  to
• 2:25
  record,
• 2:26
  and
• 2:26
  it
• 2:27
  took
• 2:27
  30
• 2:27
  minutes
• 2:28
  of
• 2:28
  me
• 2:29
  going
• 2:29
  back
• 2:29
  and
• 2:29
  forth
• 2:29
  in
• 2:30
  my
• 2:30
  head
• 2:30
  of,
• 2:30
  oh,
• 2:30
  we're
• 2:31
  recording
• 2:31
  this.
• 2:31
  Nope,
• 2:32
  just
• 2:32
  kidding.
• 2:32
  We're
• 2:32
  doing
• 2:32
  this.
• 2:33
  Nope,
• 2:33
  we're
• 2:34
  doing
• 2:34
  this.
• 2:34
  I
• 2:34
  don't
• 2:35
  know
• 2:35
  what
• 2:35
  we're
• 2:35
  doing.
• 2:36
  I
• 2:36
  was
• 2:36
  so
• 2:37
  confused.
• 2:38
  I
• 2:38
  have
• 2:39
  so
• 2:39
  much
• 2:39
  on
• 2:39
  my
• 2:40
  mind.
• 2:40
  And
• 2:40
  deadlines
• 2:41
  for
• 2:41
  a
• 2:41
  documentary
• 2:42
  that
• 2:42
  I'm
• 2:42
  working
• 2:42
  on
• 2:43
  and
• 2:43
  creating.
• 2:43
  Deadlines
• 2:44
  for
• 2:44
  school
• 2:44
  that
• 2:45
  I'm
• 2:45
  in,
• 2:45
  deadlines
• 2:46
  for
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  podcast,
• 2:47
  and,
• 2:47
  like,
• 2:47
  they're
• 2:47
  all
• 2:47
  blurched.
• 2:48
  Together
• 2:48
  in
• 2:49
  my
• 2:49
  brain.
• 2:50
  And
• 2:50
  I'm
• 2:50
  at
• 2:50
  the
• 2:51
  point
• 2:51
  where
• 2:51
  it's
• 2:51
  like,
• 2:51
  I,
• 2:51
  like,
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  don't
• 2:52
  know,
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  need
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  do
• 2:53
  better
• 2:53
  at
• 2:53
  like,
• 2:53
  marking
• 2:53
  it
• 2:53
  in
• 2:54
  the
• 2:54
  calendar.
• 2:54
  So,
• 2:55
  long
• 2:55
  story
• 2:55
  short,
• 2:56
  it
• 2:56
  took
• 2:56
  us
• 2:56
  30
• 2:56
  minutes
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  remember
• 2:58
  what
• 2:58
  we're
• 2:58
  recording
• 2:59
  right
• 3:00
  now.
• 3:00
  And
• 3:00
  that
• 3:01
  is
• 3:01
  okay.
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  just
• 3:02
  wish
• 3:02
  I
• 3:02
  could
• 3:03
  have
• 3:03
  helped
• 3:03
  more.
• 3:03
  She's
• 3:03
  like,
• 3:03
  melissa,
• 3:04
  help
• 3:04
  me.
• 3:04
  And
• 3:04
  I
• 3:05
  was
• 3:05
  like.
• 3:05
  And
• 3:05
  it
• 3:06
  turns
• 3:06
  out
• 3:06
  in
• 3:06
  the
• 3:06
  end,
• 3:07
  like,
• 3:07
  I.
• 3:07
  I
• 3:08
  kind
• 3:08
  of
• 3:08
  could
• 3:08
  have
• 3:08
  helped.
• 3:09
  No,
• 3:09
  I
• 3:09
  couldn't
• 3:09
  have,
• 3:10
  because
• 3:10
  there
• 3:10
  was
• 3:10
  one
• 3:10
  key
• 3:11
  piece
• 3:11
  of
• 3:11
  information
• 3:11
  I
• 3:11
  didn't.
• 3:12
  Have,
• 3:14
  and
• 3:14
  it
• 3:14
  was
• 3:14
  lighting.
• 3:15
  I
• 3:16
  know,
• 3:16
  I
• 3:16
  know,
• 3:17
  but
• 3:17
  it's
• 3:17
  okay.
• 3:17
  I
• 3:18
  just.
• 3:18
  It
• 3:18
  was
• 3:18
  funny.
• 3:19
  Cause
• 3:19
  I
• 3:19
  was
• 3:19
  like,
• 3:20
  yeah,
• 3:20
  maybe
• 3:20
  I
• 3:20
  should
• 3:20
  have
• 3:21
  been
• 3:21
  able
• 3:21
  to
• 3:21
  help.
• 3:21
  No,
• 3:21
  wait,
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  couldn't
• 3:22
  have.
• 3:24
  I'm
• 3:24
  just
• 3:24
  like,
• 3:24
  melissa,
• 3:25
  help
• 3:25
  me.
• 3:26
  Give
• 3:26
  me
• 3:26
  my
• 3:26
  brain.
• 3:27
  And
• 3:27
  she's
• 3:28
  like,
• 3:28
  okay,
• 3:29
  if
• 3:29
  I
• 3:29
  could.
• 3:30
  Let
• 3:30
  me
• 3:30
  see,
• 3:30
  let
• 3:31
  me
• 3:31
  see.
• 3:31
  Let's
• 3:32
  look
• 3:32
  at
• 3:32
  the
• 3:32
  calendar.
• 3:32
  We
• 3:33
  were
• 3:33
  looking
• 3:33
  at
• 3:33
  the
• 3:33
  calendar
• 3:33
  and
• 3:34
  I'm
• 3:34
  like,
• 3:34
  no,
• 3:34
  like
• 3:35
  what
• 3:35
  you're
• 3:35
  saying.
• 3:36
  I
• 3:36
  think
• 3:36
  we're
• 3:36
  fine.
• 3:37
  And
• 3:37
  then
• 3:37
  she's
• 3:38
  like,
• 3:38
  oh,
• 3:38
  but
• 3:39
  actually,
• 3:40
  we
• 3:40
  have
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  have
• 3:41
  everything
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  this
• 3:42
  one
• 3:42
  person
• 3:42
  by
• 3:42
  this
• 3:43
  date.
• 3:43
  Oh,
• 3:44
  okay.
• 3:44
  That's
• 3:45
  why
• 3:45
  we
• 3:45
  need
• 3:45
  to
• 3:45
  get
• 3:45
  ahead
• 3:45
  of
• 3:46
  our
• 3:46
  schedule,
• 3:47
  so.
• 3:47
  And
• 3:47
  I
• 3:48
  was
• 3:48
  like,
• 3:48
  okay,
• 3:48
  yeah,
• 3:48
  that's.
• 3:49
  That's
• 3:49
  an
• 3:49
  important
• 3:50
  piece.
• 3:50
  But
• 3:51
  we
• 3:51
  got
• 3:51
  it.
• 3:51
  We
• 3:51
  got
• 3:51
  there.
• 3:53
  We
• 3:53
  did.
• 3:54
  And
• 3:54
  on
• 3:55
  a,
• 3:55
  like,
• 3:55
  better
• 3:55
  note,
• 3:56
  you
• 3:56
  had
• 3:56
  a
• 3:56
  funny
• 3:57
  story
• 3:57
  about
• 3:58
  an
• 3:58
  outing
• 3:59
  that
• 3:59
  you
• 3:59
  and
• 3:59
  Jacob
• 3:59
  had.
• 4:00
  And
• 4:00
  I
• 4:01
  hear
• 4:01
  it
• 4:01
  because
• 4:01
  it's
• 4:02
  so
• 4:02
  cute,
• 4:02
  but
• 4:02
  it's.
• 4:03
  This
• 4:03
  was
• 4:04
  so
• 4:04
  funny.
• 4:05
  So
• 4:06
  it's
• 4:06
  not
• 4:07
  a
• 4:07
  fail
• 4:07
  per
• 4:07
  se,
• 4:08
  at
• 4:08
  least,
• 4:10
  but
• 4:10
  it's
• 4:11
  just
• 4:11
  like
• 4:11
  a
• 4:11
  wild
• 4:12
  little
• 4:12
  story.
• 4:13
  We
• 4:13
  went
• 4:13
  out
• 4:14
  to
• 4:14
  eat
• 4:14
  to
• 4:14
  breakfast
• 4:15
  one
• 4:15
  morning,
• 4:15
  and
• 4:16
  actually
• 4:16
  it
• 4:16
  was
• 4:16
  me
• 4:16
  and
• 4:17
  Brett
• 4:17
  and
• 4:17
  Jacob,
• 4:18
  and
• 4:20
  we
• 4:20
  were
• 4:21
  at
• 4:22
  anyway,
• 4:23
  a
• 4:23
  breakfast
• 4:24
  diner
• 4:24
  in
• 4:24
  Cumming,
• 4:24
  Georgia,
• 4:26
  and
• 4:27
  I
• 4:27
  asked
• 4:27
  for
• 4:28
  water
• 4:28
  with
• 4:28
  no
• 4:28
  ice.
• 4:29
  And
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  little
• 4:30
  waiter,
• 4:30
  he
• 4:31
  was
• 4:31
  like
• 4:31
  a
• 4:31
  16
• 4:31
  year
• 4:32
  old
• 4:32
  boy
• 4:32
  probably.
• 4:32
  He
• 4:33
  was
• 4:33
  like,
• 4:34
  oh,
• 4:36
  I
• 4:36
  don't
• 4:36
  know
• 4:36
  if
• 4:37
  I
• 4:37
  can
• 4:37
  bring
• 4:37
  you
• 4:37
  water
• 4:37
  without
• 4:38
  ice.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:38
  I
• 4:38
  was
• 4:39
  like,
• 4:39
  oh,
• 4:40
  that's
• 4:41
  weird.
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  said,
• 4:43
  well,
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  just,
• 4:44
  you
• 4:44
  know,
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  don't.
• 4:44
  Sometimes
• 4:45
  I
• 4:45
  feel
• 4:45
  like
• 4:45
  when
• 4:45
  it's
• 4:46
  cold,
• 4:46
  I
• 4:46
  can't
• 4:46
  drink.
• 4:47
  Like,
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  don't
• 4:48
  drink
• 4:48
  as
• 4:48
  much
• 4:48
  water
• 4:48
  as
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  should
• 4:50
  because
• 4:50
  it's
• 4:50
  just
• 4:50
  too
• 4:50
  cold.
• 4:51
  And
• 4:52
  he
• 4:52
  was
• 4:52
  like,
• 4:53
  yeah,
• 4:54
  I
• 4:54
  think
• 4:54
  there
• 4:55
  are
• 4:55
  health
• 4:55
  benefits
• 4:56
  to
• 4:56
  drinking
• 4:56
  warm
• 4:56
  water.
• 4:57
  Okay,
• 4:58
  I
• 4:58
  got
• 4:58
  you.
• 4:59
  So
• 4:59
  he
• 5:00
  came
• 5:00
  back
• 5:01
  and
• 5:01
  he
• 5:02
  had
• 5:02
  a
• 5:03
  mug
• 5:03
  of
• 5:04
  hot,
• 5:04
  hot
• 5:04
  coffee
• 5:05
  water
• 5:05
  with
• 5:06
  no
• 5:06
  coffee
• 5:06
  in
• 5:06
  it,
• 5:06
  just
• 5:07
  hot
• 5:07
  water,
• 5:08
  boiling
• 5:08
  water,
• 5:09
  kind
• 5:09
  of.
• 5:09
  And
• 5:10
  then
• 5:10
  he
• 5:10
  had
• 5:10
  a
• 5:11
  glass
• 5:11
  that
• 5:12
  had
• 5:12
  ice
• 5:12
  water
• 5:12
  in
• 5:13
  it.
• 5:13
  And
• 5:13
  he's
• 5:14
  like,
• 5:14
  so.
• 5:15
  And
• 5:15
  Then
• 5:15
  he
• 5:15
  brought
• 5:15
  me
• 5:15
  an
• 5:16
  empty
• 5:16
  glass,
• 5:16
  and
• 5:16
  he
• 5:17
  wanted
• 5:17
  me
• 5:17
  to
• 5:17
  pour
• 5:17
  them
• 5:18
  together
• 5:18
  so
• 5:18
  that
• 5:18
  the
• 5:19
  water
• 5:19
  wouldn't
• 5:19
  be
• 5:19
  too.
• 5:20
  So
• 5:20
  it
• 5:20
  would
• 5:20
  cool
• 5:21
  down
• 5:21
  the
• 5:21
  ice.
• 5:22
  And
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  was
• 5:22
  just
• 5:23
  like,
• 5:23
  what
• 5:23
  is
• 5:23
  happening?
• 5:26
  And
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  was
• 5:26
  not
• 5:26
  like.
• 5:27
  He
• 5:27
  was
• 5:27
  like,
• 5:27
  I
• 5:28
  really
• 5:28
  thought
• 5:28
  maybe
• 5:28
  he's
• 5:29
  just
• 5:29
  pranking
• 5:30
  me.
• 5:30
  But
• 5:31
  he
• 5:32
  was
• 5:32
  very
• 5:32
  serious,
• 5:33
  and
• 5:33
  he
• 5:33
  just
• 5:33
  didn't
• 5:33
  realize
• 5:34
  that
• 5:34
  he
• 5:34
  could
• 5:35
  just
• 5:35
  get
• 5:35
  me
• 5:35
  some
• 5:35
  water
• 5:36
  with
• 5:36
  no
• 5:36
  ice
• 5:36
  in
• 5:37
  it,
• 5:37
  just
• 5:37
  regular
• 5:37
  water.
• 5:38
  And
• 5:39
  I
• 5:39
  guess
• 5:39
  he
• 5:39
  thought
• 5:39
  it
• 5:40
  had
• 5:40
  to
• 5:40
  be,
• 5:40
  like,
• 5:41
  you
• 5:41
  know,
• 5:41
  hot
• 5:42
  from
• 5:42
  the
• 5:42
  coffee
• 5:43
  thing
• 5:43
  or
• 5:44
  ice
• 5:45
  water.
• 5:46
  And
• 5:46
  so
• 5:47
  it
• 5:47
  just.
• 5:47
  It
• 5:48
  makes
• 5:48
  me
• 5:48
  think
• 5:49
  that
• 5:49
  he
• 5:49
  probably
• 5:50
  is
• 5:51
  just
• 5:51
  one
• 5:51
  of
• 5:51
  those
• 5:51
  people
• 5:51
  that
• 5:52
  does
• 5:52
  something
• 5:53
  the
• 5:53
  same
• 5:53
  way
• 5:53
  every
• 5:54
  single
• 5:54
  time.
• 5:54
  And
• 5:54
  then
• 5:55
  when
• 5:55
  that
• 5:55
  routine
• 5:56
  gets
• 5:57
  thrown
• 5:57
  off,
• 5:57
  it's
• 5:58
  like,
• 5:58
  oh,
• 5:58
  I
• 5:58
  can't
• 5:58
  do
• 5:58
  that.
• 5:59
  And
• 5:59
  exactly.
• 6:00
  Like,
• 6:00
  you're
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:01
  oh,
• 6:01
  wait,
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:02
  I
• 6:02
  can.
• 6:02
  But,
• 6:03
  like,
• 6:03
  it's
• 6:03
  hard
• 6:03
  for
• 6:04
  them
• 6:04
  to
• 6:04
  realize.
• 6:05
  It
• 6:05
  was.
• 6:05
  This
• 6:06
  is.
• 6:06
  This
• 6:06
  is
• 6:06
  okay.
• 6:07
  And
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  was
• 6:07
  glad
• 6:08
  that
• 6:08
  it
• 6:08
  was
• 6:08
  me,
• 6:08
  because
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  feel
• 6:09
  like
• 6:09
  if
• 6:09
  it
• 6:09
  was
• 6:09
  anybody,
• 6:10
  maybe
• 6:11
  somebody
• 6:11
  else,
• 6:11
  not
• 6:12
  anybody.
• 6:12
  But
• 6:13
  he
• 6:13
  could
• 6:13
  have
• 6:13
  had.
• 6:14
  Kind
• 6:14
  of
• 6:14
  mean.
• 6:15
  Yeah.
• 6:16
  And
• 6:16
  I
• 6:16
  was
• 6:16
  like,
• 6:17
  oh,
• 6:17
  well,
• 6:17
  thank
• 6:18
  you.
• 6:18
  That
• 6:18
  was
• 6:18
  really
• 6:18
  thoughtful
• 6:19
  of
• 6:19
  you.
• 6:19
  And
• 6:19
  I
• 6:20
  just,
• 6:20
  like,
• 6:20
  pouring.
• 6:21
  Trying
• 6:21
  to
• 6:21
  pour
• 6:21
  him.
• 6:21
  I'm
• 6:22
  spilling
• 6:22
  water
• 6:22
  all
• 6:22
  over
• 6:23
  the.
• 6:23
  You're
• 6:23
  sipping
• 6:24
  on
• 6:24
  hot
• 6:24
  water.
• 6:28
  It
• 6:28
  was
• 6:28
  so
• 6:29
  funny.
• 6:29
  You
• 6:29
  should
• 6:29
  have
• 6:30
  a
• 6:31
  tea
• 6:31
  bag.
• 6:33
  Yeah.
• 6:33
  And
• 6:34
  then
• 6:34
  later,
• 6:34
  he
• 6:35
  was
• 6:36
  so
• 6:36
  cute
• 6:36
  because
• 6:36
  we
• 6:36
  were
• 6:37
  ordering.
• 6:37
  Jacob
• 6:37
  ordered
• 6:38
  eggs,
• 6:38
  and
• 6:38
  he
• 6:38
  goes,
• 6:38
  you
• 6:39
  know,
• 6:39
  I've
• 6:39
  never
• 6:39
  really
• 6:39
  had
• 6:40
  eggs.
• 6:40
  What
• 6:40
  do
• 6:40
  they
• 6:40
  taste
• 6:41
  like?
• 6:41
  And
• 6:41
  it
• 6:42
  was
• 6:42
  like,
• 6:44
  I
• 6:44
  don't
• 6:44
  know.
• 6:46
  It
• 6:46
  was
• 6:47
  so
• 6:47
  funny,
• 6:48
  but.
• 6:49
  And
• 6:49
  then
• 6:50
  Brett
• 6:50
  was
• 6:50
  like,
• 6:50
  he's
• 6:51
  not
• 6:51
  gonna
• 6:51
  last.
• 6:51
  There's
• 6:52
  no
• 6:52
  way.
• 6:52
  And
• 6:52
  I
• 6:53
  was
• 6:53
  like,
• 6:53
  I
• 6:53
  hope
• 6:53
  he
• 6:53
  does.
• 6:54
  He's
• 6:54
  so
• 6:54
  sweet,
• 6:55
  like,
• 6:55
  so
• 6:56
  kind.
• 6:56
  And
• 6:57
  then
• 6:57
  we
• 6:58
  came
• 6:58
  back,
• 6:58
  like,
• 6:58
  a
• 6:58
  few
• 6:59
  months
• 6:59
  later,
• 6:59
  and
• 6:59
  he
• 6:59
  was
• 6:59
  still
• 7:00
  there,
• 7:00
  so
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  was
• 7:00
  very
• 7:01
  happy.
• 7:02
  Yay.
• 7:04
  But
• 7:04
  he
• 7:04
  was
• 7:04
  you,
• 7:05
  kiddo.
• 7:06
  Yeah.
• 7:06
  But
• 7:06
  he
• 7:06
  had
• 7:07
  lost
• 7:07
  some
• 7:07
  of
• 7:07
  his
• 7:07
  naivete,
• 7:08
  because
• 7:10
  when
• 7:10
  he
• 7:10
  served,
• 7:10
  he
• 7:10
  didn't
• 7:11
  remember
• 7:11
  me
• 7:11
  or
• 7:11
  anything,
• 7:12
  but
• 7:12
  when
• 7:12
  he
• 7:12
  served
• 7:13
  us,
• 7:13
  he
• 7:13
  was
• 7:13
  just.
• 7:13
  He
• 7:14
  was
• 7:14
  just
• 7:14
  very,
• 7:14
  like,
• 7:15
  old
• 7:15
  hat.
• 7:16
  He.
• 7:16
  He
• 7:16
  knew
• 7:16
  what
• 7:16
  he
• 7:16
  was
• 7:17
  doing.
• 7:18
  But
• 7:19
  I
• 7:20
  was
• 7:20
  like,
• 7:20
  I
• 7:20
  remember
• 7:21
  when.
• 7:23
  You
• 7:23
  were
• 7:24
  just
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  little
• 7:24
  baby.
• 7:25
  Oh,
• 7:25
  man.
• 7:26
  I
• 7:27
  still
• 7:27
  have,
• 7:27
  like.
• 7:28
  Like,
• 7:29
  go.
• 7:29
  Oh.
• 7:30
  Like,
• 7:30
  at
• 7:30
  the
• 7:30
  thought
• 7:31
  of
• 7:31
  being
• 7:31
  a
• 7:31
  server,
• 7:32
  like,
• 7:32
  it's
• 7:32
  a
• 7:32
  lot
• 7:33
  for
• 7:33
  just
• 7:33
  days.
• 7:34
  I
• 7:34
  never
• 7:34
  want
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  do
• 7:35
  it
• 7:35
  again
• 7:36
  ever,
• 7:37
  ever,
• 7:37
  ever.
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  feel
• 7:38
  like
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  would
• 7:39
  rather
• 7:39
  be,
• 7:39
  like.
• 7:40
  I'd
• 7:40
  rather
• 7:40
  be,
• 7:41
  like,
• 7:42
  working
• 7:42
  in
• 7:43
  a
• 7:43
  landfill
• 7:43
  before
• 7:44
  being
• 7:44
  a
• 7:45
  server.
• 7:45
  Really?
• 7:46
  Oh,
• 7:46
  my
• 7:47
  goodness,
• 7:47
  my
• 7:48
  nose.
• 7:49
  Okay,
• 7:50
  Got
• 7:50
  you.
• 7:51
  Got
• 7:51
  you
• 7:52
  eucalyptus,
• 7:53
  like,
• 7:53
  salts
• 7:53
  you
• 7:53
  can,
• 7:53
  like,
• 7:54
  put
• 7:54
  up
• 7:54
  in
• 7:54
  your
• 7:54
  nose.
• 7:55
  That's
• 7:55
  true.
• 7:56
  That's
• 7:56
  true.
• 7:57
  Anywho
• 7:58
  Anywho,
• 7:59
  I'm
• 7:59
  stalling
• 8:00
  now.
• 8:00
  Are
• 8:01
  you
• 8:01
  guys
• 8:01
  ready
• 8:01
  to
• 8:01
  hear.
• 8:02
  Let's
• 8:03
  go
• 8:03
  here?
• 8:03
  Let's
• 8:04
  hear
• 8:04
  Samantha's
• 8:05
  wild
• 8:05
  story.
• 8:11
  Hey,
• 8:12
  squad.
• 8:12
  It
• 8:12
  is
• 8:13
  Samantha,
• 8:14
  and
• 8:14
  I
• 8:14
  am
• 8:15
  solo
• 8:15
  today
• 8:16
  for
• 8:16
  Lottie.
• 8:16
  Don't
• 8:17
  lie.
• 8:17
  Melissa
• 8:18
  has
• 8:19
  graciously
• 8:20
  let
• 8:20
  me
• 8:21
  run
• 8:21
  today's
• 8:21
  show
• 8:22
  as
• 8:22
  I
• 8:23
  share
• 8:23
  with
• 8:23
  you
• 8:23
  guys
• 8:24
  my
• 8:25
  personal
• 8:26
  mental
• 8:26
  health
• 8:27
  story.
• 8:27
  So
• 8:30
  this
• 8:30
  is
• 8:31
  very
• 8:32
  personal,
• 8:33
  and
• 8:34
  not
• 8:36
  most
• 8:36
  people
• 8:36
  don't
• 8:36
  know
• 8:37
  what
• 8:37
  has
• 8:37
  been
• 8:38
  going
• 8:38
  on
• 8:38
  with
• 8:38
  me
• 8:39
  and
• 8:40
  what
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  have
• 8:40
  been
• 8:40
  working
• 8:41
  through
• 8:41
  the
• 8:41
  last
• 8:42
  year.
• 8:44
  So
• 8:45
  I've
• 8:45
  decided
• 8:45
  that
• 8:45
  since
• 8:46
  it's
• 8:46
  Mental
• 8:46
  Health
• 8:47
  Awareness
• 8:48
  month,
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  the
• 8:50
  statistics
• 8:51
  that
• 8:51
  I'm
• 8:51
  going
• 8:52
  to
• 8:52
  share
• 8:52
  with
• 8:52
  you
• 8:52
  guys
• 8:52
  are
• 8:53
  so
• 8:53
  shocking
• 8:54
  that
• 8:54
  I
• 8:54
  felt
• 8:55
  like,
• 8:55
  how
• 8:55
  could
• 8:55
  I
• 8:56
  not
• 8:56
  share
• 8:56
  with
• 8:57
  you
• 8:57
  guys
• 8:58
  what
• 8:58
  I've
• 8:58
  been
• 8:58
  struggling
• 8:59
  with
• 8:59
  because
• 9:00
  it's
• 9:01
  significantly
• 9:02
  impacting
• 9:02
  so
• 9:02
  many
• 9:03
  people
• 9:03
  around
• 9:03
  us
• 9:04
  that
• 9:05
  I've
• 9:05
  learned
• 9:06
  you
• 9:06
  each
• 9:07
  probably
• 9:07
  know
• 9:07
  multiple
• 9:08
  people
• 9:08
  that
• 9:09
  actually
• 9:09
  struggle
• 9:10
  with
• 9:10
  the
• 9:10
  same
• 9:10
  thing.
• 9:11
  So
• 9:12
  are
• 9:12
  you
• 9:12
  ready?
• 9:14
  Let's
• 9:15
  do
• 9:15
  this.
• 9:17
  Okay.
• 9:18
  So
• 9:18
  when
• 9:19
  we
• 9:19
  started
• 9:19
  this
• 9:19
  podcast,
• 9:21
  do
• 9:21
  you
• 9:22
  guys.
• 9:22
  For
• 9:22
  those
• 9:22
  who
• 9:23
  don't
• 9:23
  remember,
• 9:24
  you
• 9:24
  know,
• 9:24
  when
• 9:24
  we
• 9:25
  started.
• 9:25
  I'll
• 9:26
  just
• 9:26
  kind
• 9:26
  of
• 9:27
  recap.
• 9:28
  Melissa
• 9:29
  and
• 9:29
  I
• 9:29
  started
• 9:30
  this
• 9:30
  podcast
• 9:31
  shortly
• 9:32
  after
• 9:33
  I
• 9:33
  had
• 9:33
  started
• 9:33
  experiencing
• 9:34
  seizures.
• 9:35
  Let
• 9:36
  me
• 9:36
  just
• 9:36
  paint
• 9:37
  the
• 9:37
  picture
• 9:37
  for
• 9:37
  you.
• 9:38
  So
• 9:38
  I'm
• 9:39
  on
• 9:39
  my
• 9:40
  dream
• 9:40
  vacation
• 9:40
  with.
• 9:41
  With
• 9:41
  my
• 9:41
  husband
• 9:41
  Simon.
• 9:42
  We're
• 9:42
  in
• 9:42
  Costa
• 9:43
  Rica.
• 9:43
  Costa
• 9:44
  Rica
• 9:44
  had
• 9:44
  been
• 9:44
  one
• 9:45
  of
• 9:45
  the
• 9:45
  places
• 9:45
  that
• 9:45
  we
• 9:45
  had
• 9:46
  been
• 9:46
  trying
• 9:46
  to
• 9:46
  visit
• 9:48
  four
• 9:48
  times,
• 9:49
  and
• 9:49
  it
• 9:49
  kept
• 9:49
  getting
• 9:50
  canceled
• 9:51
  as
• 9:51
  we'd
• 9:51
  get
• 9:51
  ready
• 9:51
  to
• 9:52
  go.
• 9:52
  Either,
• 9:52
  like,
• 9:53
  one
• 9:53
  time
• 9:53
  we
• 9:54
  made
• 9:54
  it
• 9:54
  to
• 9:54
  the
• 9:54
  airport,
• 9:56
  we
• 9:56
  made
• 9:56
  it
• 9:58
  on
• 9:58
  the
• 9:58
  plane,
• 9:59
  and
• 9:59
  then
• 10:00
  the
• 10:01
  plane
• 10:01
  just,
• 10:01
  like,
• 10:02
  was
• 10:02
  broke.
• 10:02
  Broke
• 10:02
  after
• 10:03
  three
• 10:03
  hours
• 10:04
  of
• 10:04
  sitting
• 10:05
  on
• 10:05
  this
• 10:05
  empty
• 10:05
  plane.
• 10:06
  And
• 10:06
  so
• 10:06
  we
• 10:06
  had
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  get
• 10:06
  off,
• 10:06
  and
• 10:06
  we
• 10:07
  weren't
• 10:07
  able
• 10:07
  to
• 10:07
  go.
• 10:08
  Another
• 10:09
  time,
• 10:09
  the
• 10:10
  flight
• 10:10
  just
• 10:10
  in
• 10:10
  general
• 10:11
  got
• 10:11
  canceled,
• 10:11
  and
• 10:11
  there
• 10:12
  was
• 10:12
  no
• 10:12
  other
• 10:12
  flights
• 10:13
  that
• 10:14
  were
• 10:14
  available
• 10:15
  for
• 10:15
  us.
• 10:17
  Gosh.
• 10:18
  Covid.
• 10:18
  Covid
• 10:19
  hit.
• 10:19
  And
• 10:19
  then
• 10:19
  that
• 10:19
  canceled
• 10:20
  one
• 10:20
  of
• 10:20
  our
• 10:20
  trips.
• 10:21
  Like,
• 10:21
  we
• 10:21
  just.
• 10:22
  We
• 10:22
  kept
• 10:22
  trying,
• 10:23
  and
• 10:23
  it
• 10:23
  kept
• 10:23
  not
• 10:23
  happening.
• 10:24
  And
• 10:24
  so
• 10:24
  just
• 10:25
  the
• 10:25
  desire
• 10:25
  to
• 10:25
  go
• 10:26
  got
• 10:26
  stronger
• 10:27
  and
• 10:27
  stronger.
• 10:28
  And
• 10:28
  why
• 10:28
  I
• 10:28
  wanted
• 10:29
  to
• 10:29
  go
• 10:29
  is
• 10:29
  because
• 10:30
  Costa
• 10:31
  Rica,
• 10:31
  one
• 10:32
  has
• 10:32
  all
• 10:33
  different
• 10:33
  types
• 10:34
  of
• 10:34
  environments
• 10:35
  to
• 10:36
  explore.
• 10:36
  Like,
• 10:36
  I
• 10:37
  mean,
• 10:37
  there's
• 10:37
  literally
• 10:38
  a
• 10:38
  jungle,
• 10:38
  there's
• 10:38
  mountains,
• 10:39
  there's
• 10:40
  the
• 10:40
  ocean,
• 10:41
  and
• 10:41
  there's
• 10:42
  just
• 10:42
  a
• 10:43
  whole
• 10:43
  lifestyle
• 10:44
  to
• 10:44
  explore
• 10:44
  over
• 10:44
  there.
• 10:45
  And
• 10:46
  one
• 10:46
  of
• 10:46
  the
• 10:47
  things
• 10:47
  that
• 10:47
  I
• 10:47
  really
• 10:48
  have
• 10:48
  enjoyed
• 10:48
  doing
• 10:49
  is
• 10:49
  reading
• 10:49
  about
• 10:49
  whales
• 10:50
  and
• 10:50
  their
• 10:50
  migration.
• 10:51
  And
• 10:52
  I
• 10:52
  was
• 10:52
  particularly
• 10:53
  drawn
• 10:53
  to
• 10:54
  the
• 10:54
  humpback
• 10:54
  whale
• 10:55
  migration.
• 10:55
  And
• 10:56
  there's
• 10:56
  a
• 10:56
  little
• 10:56
  town
• 10:56
  called
• 10:57
  Uvita
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  a
• 10:57
  lot
• 10:58
  of
• 10:58
  people
• 10:58
  haven't
• 10:58
  really
• 10:59
  heard
• 10:59
  of
• 10:59
  in
• 10:59
  Costa
• 10:59
  Rica.
• 11:00
  It's
• 11:00
  not
• 11:00
  often.
• 11:00
  It's
• 11:01
  not
• 11:01
  really
• 11:01
  traveled
• 11:02
  that
• 11:02
  Much.
• 11:03
  And
• 11:04
  it's
• 11:04
  got
• 11:04
  this
• 11:05
  beach
• 11:05
  that's
• 11:05
  called
• 11:05
  the
• 11:05
  Whale
• 11:06
  Whale's
• 11:06
  Tail.
• 11:07
  And
• 11:08
  it's
• 11:08
  known
• 11:08
  for
• 11:09
  being
• 11:10
  where
• 11:10
  the
• 11:11
  humpback
• 11:11
  whales
• 11:11
  go
• 11:12
  to
• 11:12
  give
• 11:12
  birth
• 11:12
  and
• 11:13
  teach
• 11:13
  their
• 11:13
  babies
• 11:14
  to
• 11:15
  surface
• 11:16
  and
• 11:17
  breathe.
• 11:18
  And
• 11:20
  that
• 11:20
  is
• 11:21
  just
• 11:21
  something
• 11:21
  that
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  really,
• 11:22
  really
• 11:22
  wanted
• 11:22
  to
• 11:23
  see.
• 11:24
  So
• 11:24
  Simon
• 11:25
  and
• 11:25
  I
• 11:25
  finally
• 11:25
  make
• 11:25
  it
• 11:26
  to
• 11:26
  Costa
• 11:26
  Rica
• 11:26
  after.
• 11:27
  I
• 11:27
  mean,
• 11:27
  I
• 11:27
  literally
• 11:28
  think
• 11:28
  this
• 11:28
  is
• 11:28
  like
• 11:28
  our
• 11:28
  fifth
• 11:29
  try,
• 11:29
  and
• 11:29
  we
• 11:29
  finally
• 11:30
  make
• 11:30
  it
• 11:30
  to
• 11:30
  Costa
• 11:30
  Rica.
• 11:32
  And
• 11:32
  the
• 11:33
  first
• 11:33
  two
• 11:33
  days,
• 11:34
  we
• 11:34
  are
• 11:34
  just
• 11:34
  not
• 11:35
  getting
• 11:35
  along
• 11:36
  at
• 11:36
  all.
• 11:37
  Little
• 11:38
  did
• 11:38
  each
• 11:39
  of
• 11:39
  us
• 11:39
  know,
• 11:40
  we
• 11:41
  both
• 11:41
  thought
• 11:41
  that
• 11:42
  we
• 11:42
  were
• 11:42
  going
• 11:42
  home
• 11:42
  to
• 11:42
  get
• 11:43
  a
• 11:43
  divorce.
• 11:43
  Like,
• 11:43
  we
• 11:44
  were
• 11:44
  just.
• 11:44
  We
• 11:44
  were
• 11:44
  both
• 11:45
  separately
• 11:46
  that
• 11:46
  done.
• 11:48
  And,
• 11:48
  you
• 11:48
  know,
• 11:49
  this
• 11:49
  is
• 11:49
  the
• 11:49
  dream
• 11:49
  trip
• 11:50
  and
• 11:50
  it
• 11:50
  felt
• 11:50
  miserable.
• 11:52
  So
• 11:53
  let's.
• 11:54
  I
• 11:54
  think
• 11:54
  we
• 11:55
  were
• 11:56
  two
• 11:56
  days
• 11:56
  into
• 11:56
  the
• 11:57
  trip,
• 11:57
  maybe,
• 11:58
  maybe
• 11:58
  three,
• 11:59
  and
• 12:00
  it
• 12:00
  was
• 12:00
  our
• 12:00
  day
• 12:01
  to
• 12:01
  go
• 12:01
  onto
• 12:01
  the
• 12:01
  boat
• 12:02
  and
• 12:02
  go
• 12:02
  out
• 12:02
  into
• 12:03
  the
• 12:03
  ocean
• 12:05
  where
• 12:06
  a
• 12:06
  lot
• 12:06
  of
• 12:06
  tourist
• 12:07
  boats
• 12:07
  are.
• 12:07
  And
• 12:07
  they're
• 12:08
  like
• 12:08
  these
• 12:08
  big,
• 12:09
  big
• 12:10
  boats.
• 12:10
  A
• 12:10
  lot
• 12:10
  of
• 12:10
  people
• 12:11
  are
• 12:11
  on
• 12:11
  it.
• 12:11
  And
• 12:12
  I.
• 12:12
  I
• 12:13
  think
• 12:13
  like
• 12:13
  a
• 12:13
  storm
• 12:14
  was
• 12:14
  rolling
• 12:14
  in
• 12:14
  that
• 12:14
  day.
• 12:15
  Regardless,
• 12:16
  the
• 12:16
  water
• 12:16
  was
• 12:17
  ridiculous.
• 12:19
  I
• 12:19
  mean,
• 12:19
  you're
• 12:20
  going
• 12:20
  up,
• 12:20
  you're
• 12:20
  going
• 12:20
  down,
• 12:21
  and
• 12:21
  like,
• 12:21
  when
• 12:21
  you,
• 12:21
  like
• 12:22
  on
• 12:22
  these
• 12:22
  waves,
• 12:22
  these
• 12:23
  like,
• 12:23
  big
• 12:23
  waves,
• 12:23
  and
• 12:23
  when
• 12:24
  you
• 12:24
  go
• 12:24
  down,
• 12:24
  I
• 12:24
  mean,
• 12:24
  it's
• 12:25
  like,
• 12:25
  it's
• 12:25
  so
• 12:25
  drastic
• 12:26
  and
• 12:26
  so
• 12:26
  hard
• 12:27
  that,
• 12:27
  like,
• 12:27
  you're
• 12:27
  popping
• 12:27
  up
• 12:27
  out
• 12:28
  of
• 12:28
  your
• 12:28
  seat
• 12:28
  and,
• 12:28
  like,
• 12:29
  hard
• 12:29
  to.
• 12:30
  And,
• 12:31
  you
• 12:32
  know,
• 12:32
  it
• 12:32
  was
• 12:32
  okay.
• 12:33
  Oh.
• 12:33
  And
• 12:33
  somehow,
• 12:34
  for
• 12:34
  some
• 12:34
  reason,
• 12:35
  I
• 12:35
  can't
• 12:36
  remember
• 12:36
  if
• 12:36
  it
• 12:36
  was
• 12:36
  my
• 12:36
  fault.
• 12:37
  I
• 12:37
  don't
• 12:37
  know.
• 12:37
  But
• 12:37
  we
• 12:37
  got
• 12:37
  sat
• 12:38
  in
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  front
• 12:38
  of
• 12:38
  the
• 12:38
  boat
• 12:38
  too.
• 12:39
  So
• 12:39
  it's
• 12:39
  like
• 12:39
  the
• 12:39
  worst
• 12:40
  part.
• 12:40
  It's
• 12:40
  the
• 12:40
  part
• 12:40
  where
• 12:40
  you're
• 12:40
  getting
• 12:41
  hit
• 12:41
  the
• 12:41
  most.
• 12:41
  You're
• 12:42
  experiencing,
• 12:43
  like,
• 12:43
  the
• 12:43
  motions
• 12:44
  more
• 12:44
  extreme
• 12:45
  than
• 12:45
  in
• 12:45
  the
• 12:45
  back.
• 12:46
  So
• 12:46
  we
• 12:46
  get
• 12:46
  to
• 12:47
  out
• 12:47
  in
• 12:47
  the
• 12:47
  ocean,
• 12:48
  there's
• 12:48
  a
• 12:48
  bunch
• 12:48
  of
• 12:48
  different
• 12:48
  tourist
• 12:49
  boats
• 12:49
  that
• 12:49
  are
• 12:49
  all
• 12:50
  looking
• 12:50
  for
• 12:50
  a
• 12:51
  mom
• 12:51
  whale
• 12:51
  and
• 12:51
  baby
• 12:52
  and.
• 12:52
  And
• 12:52
  there's
• 12:53
  one.
• 12:53
  So
• 12:53
  we're
• 12:53
  all
• 12:53
  surrounded,
• 12:54
  basically,
• 12:54
  this.
• 12:55
  This
• 12:55
  mom
• 12:55
  whale
• 12:56
  with
• 12:56
  its
• 12:57
  baby
• 12:57
  whale.
• 12:57
  And
• 12:57
  I
• 12:58
  just
• 12:58
  remember
• 12:59
  just
• 12:59
  this
• 13:00
  big
• 13:00
  emotional
• 13:01
  release.
• 13:02
  Like
• 13:02
  just
• 13:03
  these
• 13:04
  chills
• 13:04
  came
• 13:04
  over
• 13:05
  my
• 13:05
  body.
• 13:06
  I'm
• 13:06
  looking
• 13:06
  at
• 13:07
  the
• 13:07
  mom
• 13:07
  whale.
• 13:08
  Like,
• 13:08
  tears
• 13:08
  start
• 13:09
  coming
• 13:09
  out
• 13:09
  of
• 13:09
  my
• 13:09
  eyes.
• 13:10
  And
• 13:10
  I
• 13:10
  just
• 13:10
  look
• 13:10
  at
• 13:10
  Simon,
• 13:11
  I
• 13:11
  go,
• 13:11
  this
• 13:11
  was
• 13:11
  worth
• 13:11
  it.
• 13:12
  This.
• 13:12
  This
• 13:12
  was
• 13:12
  amazing.
• 13:13
  This
• 13:13
  is
• 13:13
  worth
• 13:13
  the
• 13:14
  wait.
• 13:14
  This
• 13:14
  is
• 13:15
  everything
• 13:15
  I
• 13:15
  wanted.
• 13:16
  And
• 13:17
  next
• 13:18
  thing
• 13:18
  I
• 13:18
  know,
• 13:21
  where
• 13:23
  were
• 13:24
  heading
• 13:25
  back
• 13:25
  to
• 13:25
  the
• 13:25
  beach.
• 13:26
  I.
• 13:27
  I
• 13:27
  literally
• 13:28
  don't
• 13:29
  recall
• 13:29
  from
• 13:30
  that
• 13:30
  moment
• 13:31
  back
• 13:32
  to
• 13:32
  us
• 13:32
  getting
• 13:33
  back
• 13:34
  to
• 13:34
  shore.
• 13:35
  And
• 13:36
  apparently
• 13:36
  that's
• 13:37
  when
• 13:37
  I
• 13:37
  experienced
• 13:38
  my
• 13:39
  first
• 13:39
  seizure.
• 13:40
  And
• 13:41
  that
• 13:41
  was
• 13:41
  really
• 13:41
  scary.
• 13:42
  Of
• 13:42
  course,
• 13:42
  for
• 13:42
  Simon,
• 13:43
  you
• 13:43
  know,
• 13:43
  he
• 13:43
  doesn't
• 13:44
  know
• 13:44
  what's
• 13:44
  going
• 13:44
  on.
• 13:47
  He
• 13:47
  that
• 13:48
  was,
• 13:49
  that
• 13:49
  was
• 13:49
  a
• 13:50
  scary
• 13:50
  experience
• 13:50
  for
• 13:50
  him.
• 13:51
  And
• 13:51
  I
• 13:51
  can
• 13:51
  only
• 13:51
  imagine.
• 13:51
  I
• 13:52
  don't
• 13:52
  know
• 13:52
  how
• 13:52
  I
• 13:53
  would
• 13:53
  handle
• 13:54
  that
• 13:54
  and
• 13:54
  what
• 13:54
  I
• 13:54
  would
• 13:54
  do
• 13:54
  in
• 13:55
  that
• 13:55
  situation.
• 13:55
  So
• 13:56
  in
• 13:57
  a
• 13:57
  selfish
• 13:57
  way,
• 13:57
  I'm
• 13:58
  kind
• 13:58
  of
• 13:58
  thankful
• 13:58
  that
• 13:58
  it
• 13:59
  wasn't
• 13:59
  the
• 13:59
  other
• 13:59
  way
• 13:59
  around
• 13:59
  because
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  don't
• 14:00
  know
• 14:00
  what
• 14:00
  I
• 14:00
  would
• 14:00
  do.
• 14:02
  So
• 14:03
  we
• 14:03
  get
• 14:03
  to
• 14:03
  shore,
• 14:04
  he
• 14:04
  helps
• 14:04
  me
• 14:05
  kind
• 14:06
  of
• 14:06
  recoup.
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  think
• 14:08
  I
• 14:08
  remember
• 14:08
  someone
• 14:08
  giving
• 14:09
  me
• 14:09
  like
• 14:09
  juice
• 14:10
  and
• 14:10
  I
• 14:10
  remember
• 14:11
  we
• 14:11
  got
• 14:11
  like
• 14:11
  a
• 14:11
  snack
• 14:12
  and
• 14:12
  we
• 14:13
  went
• 14:14
  back
• 14:15
  and
• 14:17
  we.
• 14:18
  Over
• 14:19
  the
• 14:19
  next
• 14:19
  couple
• 14:19
  days,
• 14:20
  it
• 14:20
  just
• 14:21
  something.
• 14:22
  It
• 14:22
  kept
• 14:22
  happening
• 14:23
  and
• 14:23
  then
• 14:24
  I
• 14:24
  would
• 14:24
  have
• 14:24
  another
• 14:25
  seizure
• 14:26
  and
• 14:26
  then
• 14:27
  I'd
• 14:27
  be
• 14:27
  out
• 14:27
  of
• 14:27
  it
• 14:27
  for
• 14:27
  hours.
• 14:28
  I
• 14:28
  have
• 14:28
  to
• 14:28
  go
• 14:28
  sleep,
• 14:29
  I'm
• 14:29
  exhausted.
• 14:31
  And
• 14:31
  there's
• 14:32
  always
• 14:32
  like
• 14:32
  a.
• 14:32
  There
• 14:32
  was
• 14:32
  always
• 14:33
  a
• 14:33
  build
• 14:33
  up.
• 14:34
  It's
• 14:34
  like
• 14:36
  I.
• 14:37
  So
• 14:38
  like
• 14:38
  the
• 14:38
  day
• 14:38
  of
• 14:38
  the
• 14:39
  first
• 14:39
  seizure,
• 14:39
  I
• 14:39
  woke
• 14:40
  up
• 14:40
  that
• 14:40
  day
• 14:41
  and
• 14:42
  everything
• 14:42
  fell
• 14:42
  off.
• 14:43
  And
• 14:43
  when
• 14:43
  I
• 14:43
  say
• 14:43
  everything
• 14:44
  fell
• 14:44
  off,
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  mean
• 14:44
  like
• 14:45
  my
• 14:45
  surroundings
• 14:46
  felt
• 14:46
  like
• 14:46
  they
• 14:46
  were
• 14:47
  moving
• 14:49
  kind
• 14:49
  of
• 14:49
  like
• 14:49
  a
• 14:50
  wave
• 14:50
  and
• 14:50
  kind
• 14:50
  of
• 14:51
  slower
• 14:51
  than
• 14:52
  what
• 14:52
  they're
• 14:52
  actually
• 14:53
  moving.
• 14:54
  I.
• 14:54
  That
• 14:54
  sounds
• 14:55
  completely
• 14:55
  weird,
• 14:56
  but
• 14:56
  I
• 14:56
  guess
• 14:57
  if,
• 14:57
  you
• 14:57
  know,
• 14:57
  you
• 14:57
  know.
• 14:58
  So
• 14:58
  my,
• 14:58
  I
• 14:59
  woke
• 14:59
  up,
• 14:59
  my
• 14:59
  surroundings
• 15:00
  are
• 15:00
  just.
• 15:01
  Everything's
• 15:01
  moving
• 15:01
  in
• 15:02
  a
• 15:02
  different
• 15:02
  wavelength
• 15:03
  and
• 15:03
  it
• 15:03
  just.
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  knew
• 15:04
  I
• 15:04
  didn't
• 15:04
  feel
• 15:05
  right
• 15:05
  and
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  knew
• 15:05
  that
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  was
• 15:06
  moving
• 15:06
  slower
• 15:06
  than
• 15:06
  usual.
• 15:08
  And
• 15:08
  then
• 15:09
  the
• 15:09
  episode
• 15:09
  happens.
• 15:10
  So
• 15:11
  as
• 15:11
  they
• 15:11
  keep
• 15:11
  happening
• 15:12
  each
• 15:12
  day
• 15:12
  that
• 15:12
  we're
• 15:12
  on
• 15:13
  the
• 15:13
  trip,
• 15:13
  thankfully
• 15:14
  we're
• 15:14
  still
• 15:14
  able
• 15:14
  to
• 15:15
  enjoy
• 15:16
  a
• 15:16
  lot
• 15:16
  of
• 15:16
  the
• 15:16
  things
• 15:16
  that
• 15:17
  we
• 15:17
  wanted
• 15:17
  to
• 15:17
  experience.
• 15:18
  But
• 15:18
  it
• 15:18
  was
• 15:19
  challenging
• 15:19
  because
• 15:20
  I
• 15:20
  would
• 15:20
  have
• 15:20
  an
• 15:20
  episode
• 15:21
  and
• 15:21
  then
• 15:21
  I'd
• 15:21
  have
• 15:21
  to
• 15:21
  sleep
• 15:21
  for
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  little
• 15:22
  bit
• 15:23
  and
• 15:23
  it
• 15:24
  would
• 15:24
  just
• 15:24
  take
• 15:24
  me
• 15:24
  a
• 15:24
  while
• 15:25
  to
• 15:25
  get
• 15:26
  back
• 15:26
  into
• 15:27
  a
• 15:28
  normal
• 15:29
  groove
• 15:30
  and
• 15:30
  just
• 15:30
  be
• 15:30
  present
• 15:31
  again.
• 15:32
  But
• 15:32
  they,
• 15:33
  I,
• 15:34
  I
• 15:34
  typically
• 15:35
  would
• 15:35
  feel
• 15:35
  the
• 15:35
  same
• 15:36
  things.
• 15:36
  I
• 15:36
  would
• 15:36
  feel
• 15:36
  this,
• 15:37
  like,
• 15:37
  tingling
• 15:37
  in
• 15:37
  my
• 15:37
  body,
• 15:38
  the
• 15:38
  nauseousness
• 15:39
  in
• 15:39
  the
• 15:39
  stomach,
• 15:39
  and
• 15:40
  you
• 15:40
  know,
• 15:40
  it
• 15:40
  starts
• 15:40
  to
• 15:40
  rise
• 15:41
  to
• 15:41
  where
• 15:41
  I'm
• 15:42
  wondering
• 15:42
  if
• 15:42
  I
• 15:42
  really
• 15:42
  am
• 15:43
  going
• 15:43
  to
• 15:43
  get
• 15:43
  sick.
• 15:45
  The
• 15:45
  environment
• 15:46
  starts
• 15:46
  moving.
• 15:47
  I
• 15:47
  realize
• 15:47
  I
• 15:47
  can't
• 15:48
  hear
• 15:48
  what's
• 15:49
  exactly
• 15:49
  going
• 15:50
  on
• 15:50
  around
• 15:50
  me.
• 15:50
  Everything
• 15:51
  just
• 15:51
  kind
• 15:51
  of
• 15:51
  turns
• 15:51
  into
• 15:52
  noise.
• 15:53
  And
• 15:53
  I'm
• 15:53
  not
• 15:54
  hearing
• 15:54
  and
• 15:54
  seeing
• 15:55
  things
• 15:55
  like
• 15:55
  as
• 15:55
  they're
• 15:56
  happening.
• 15:56
  It's
• 15:56
  like,
• 15:56
  it's
• 15:56
  very
• 15:57
  delayed.
• 15:58
  What
• 15:59
  else
• 15:59
  happens?
• 16:00
  I
• 16:00
  remember
• 16:00
  the
• 16:01
  final,
• 16:01
  the
• 16:02
  final
• 16:02
  thing
• 16:02
  is
• 16:02
  I
• 16:02
  remember
• 16:03
  feeling
• 16:03
  like,
• 16:04
  oh,
• 16:04
  fight
• 16:05
  this,
• 16:05
  fight
• 16:05
  this.
• 16:05
  You
• 16:05
  got
• 16:06
  this,
• 16:06
  you
• 16:06
  got
• 16:06
  this.
• 16:07
  But
• 16:08
  it
• 16:08
  would
• 16:08
  feel
• 16:08
  like
• 16:08
  my
• 16:09
  head
• 16:09
  would
• 16:09
  just
• 16:09
  get
• 16:10
  heavy.
• 16:11
  And
• 16:11
  once
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  knew,
• 16:12
  like
• 16:12
  once
• 16:12
  I
• 16:12
  would
• 16:13
  feel
• 16:13
  that
• 16:13
  my
• 16:13
  head
• 16:13
  gets
• 16:14
  heavy,
• 16:14
  we
• 16:15
  learned
• 16:15
  that
• 16:15
  that's
• 16:16
  like
• 16:17
  game
• 16:17
  over.
• 16:18
  Once
• 16:18
  the
• 16:18
  head
• 16:18
  gets
• 16:19
  heavy
• 16:19
  and
• 16:19
  I
• 16:19
  feel
• 16:19
  like
• 16:19
  I
• 16:19
  can't
• 16:20
  hold
• 16:20
  it
• 16:20
  up,
• 16:21
  there's
• 16:21
  going
• 16:21
  to
• 16:21
  be
• 16:21
  a
• 16:21
  seizure
• 16:22
  and
• 16:23
  I'm
• 16:23
  going
• 16:23
  to
• 16:23
  be
• 16:23
  out
• 16:24
  for
• 16:24
  a
• 16:24
  little
• 16:24
  bit.
• 16:25
  And
• 16:25
  he.
• 16:26
  Simon
• 16:26
  was
• 16:27
  so
• 16:27
  caring.
• 16:28
  Like,
• 16:28
  he
• 16:28
  took
• 16:28
  so
• 16:29
  such
• 16:29
  good
• 16:29
  care
• 16:29
  of
• 16:30
  me.
• 16:30
  Even
• 16:30
  though
• 16:31
  we
• 16:32
  each
• 16:32
  thought,
• 16:32
  like,
• 16:33
  oh,
• 16:33
  we're
• 16:33
  gonna
• 16:33
  go
• 16:33
  home
• 16:34
  and
• 16:34
  get
• 16:34
  divorced,
• 16:34
  like,
• 16:35
  he.
• 16:35
  He
• 16:36
  really
• 16:36
  cared
• 16:37
  and
• 16:37
  he
• 16:37
  really
• 16:38
  took
• 16:38
  care
• 16:38
  of
• 16:38
  me
• 16:38
  and
• 16:39
  helped
• 16:39
  keep
• 16:39
  me
• 16:39
  calm.
• 16:41
  And
• 16:41
  I
• 16:41
  remember
• 16:41
  we
• 16:42
  were
• 16:42
  sitting
• 16:43
  at
• 16:43
  dinner
• 16:44
  one
• 16:44
  of
• 16:44
  the
• 16:44
  last
• 16:44
  nights
• 16:44
  that
• 16:44
  we
• 16:45
  were
• 16:45
  there,
• 16:45
  and
• 16:45
  he
• 16:45
  just
• 16:46
  looks
• 16:46
  at
• 16:46
  me
• 16:46
  and
• 16:46
  he
• 16:46
  starts
• 16:47
  crying
• 16:47
  and
• 16:47
  he
• 16:47
  was
• 16:47
  like,
• 16:48
  this
• 16:48
  has
• 16:48
  been
• 16:48
  the
• 16:48
  most
• 16:49
  scariest
• 16:49
  thing
• 16:49
  I've
• 16:49
  ever
• 16:50
  experienced.
• 16:50
  And
• 16:50
  I
• 16:50
  just
• 16:50
  love
• 16:51
  you
• 16:51
  so
• 16:51
  much.
• 16:51
  And
• 16:51
  I
• 16:51
  just.
• 16:52
  I,
• 16:52
  like,
• 16:53
  can't
• 16:53
  imagine
• 16:54
  anything
• 16:54
  happening
• 16:54
  to
• 16:54
  you,
• 16:54
  so
• 16:55
  we
• 16:55
  need
• 16:55
  to
• 16:55
  figure
• 16:55
  out
• 16:55
  what's
• 16:56
  wrong.
• 16:56
  And.
• 16:57
  And
• 16:57
  I
• 16:57
  remember
• 16:57
  just
• 16:57
  being
• 16:58
  like,
• 16:58
  wow,
• 16:59
  I
• 16:59
  needed
• 16:59
  to
• 16:59
  hear
• 17:00
  that.
• 17:00
  Like,
• 17:00
  I
• 17:00
  really
• 17:01
  needed
• 17:01
  to
• 17:01
  hear
• 17:01
  those
• 17:01
  words.
• 17:02
  I
• 17:02
  really
• 17:02
  thought
• 17:02
  that
• 17:02
  we
• 17:03
  were
• 17:03
  just
• 17:03
  on
• 17:03
  total
• 17:04
  different
• 17:05
  planes.
• 17:05
  And
• 17:07
  it
• 17:07
  just.
• 17:08
  I
• 17:08
  didn't
• 17:08
  see
• 17:09
  another
• 17:09
  option
• 17:10
  I
• 17:10
  wasn't
• 17:11
  getting.
• 17:11
  I
• 17:12
  wasn't
• 17:12
  feeling
• 17:12
  the
• 17:12
  love
• 17:13
  that
• 17:13
  I
• 17:13
  needed
• 17:14
  and
• 17:14
  the
• 17:14
  attention
• 17:15
  that
• 17:15
  I
• 17:15
  needed.
• 17:16
  And
• 17:17
  here
• 17:17
  I
• 17:17
  am
• 17:18
  experiencing,
• 17:18
  like,
• 17:19
  one
• 17:19
  of
• 17:19
  the,
• 17:19
  like,
• 17:19
  scariest
• 17:20
  points
• 17:20
  in
• 17:21
  my
• 17:21
  life
• 17:21
  and
• 17:22
  were
• 17:24
  feeling
• 17:25
  love
• 17:25
  for
• 17:25
  each
• 17:26
  other
• 17:26
  and
• 17:26
  being
• 17:26
  able
• 17:26
  to
• 17:27
  express
• 17:27
  it.
• 17:27
  And
• 17:28
  it
• 17:28
  was
• 17:28
  definitely
• 17:29
  a
• 17:30
  big
• 17:30
  turning
• 17:30
  point
• 17:31
  for
• 17:31
  us.
• 17:31
  So
• 17:31
  we
• 17:32
  got
• 17:32
  back
• 17:32
  into
• 17:32
  the
• 17:33
  United
• 17:33
  States
• 17:34
  and,
• 17:36
  you
• 17:36
  know,
• 17:36
  Simon
• 17:37
  was
• 17:37
  like,
• 17:37
  hey,
• 17:37
  if
• 17:37
  you
• 17:37
  have
• 17:38
  another
• 17:38
  one
• 17:38
  when
• 17:38
  we
• 17:38
  get
• 17:38
  into
• 17:39
  the
• 17:39
  States,
• 17:39
  like,
• 17:39
  we
• 17:39
  need
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  go
• 17:40
  to
• 17:40
  the
• 17:40
  hospital.
• 17:40
  We
• 17:41
  didn't
• 17:41
  go
• 17:41
  to
• 17:41
  the
• 17:41
  hospital
• 17:42
  while
• 17:42
  we
• 17:42
  were
• 17:42
  in
• 17:42
  Costa
• 17:42
  Rica.
• 17:43
  One
• 17:43
  because
• 17:43
  we
• 17:44
  weren't
• 17:44
  exactly
• 17:45
  sure
• 17:45
  what
• 17:45
  was
• 17:46
  going
• 17:46
  on.
• 17:50
  I
• 17:51
  mean.
• 17:52
  Yeah,
• 17:53
  we
• 17:53
  weren't
• 17:53
  sure
• 17:53
  what
• 17:53
  was
• 17:53
  going
• 17:54
  on.
• 17:54
  I
• 17:54
  mean,
• 17:55
  you're.
• 17:55
  You're
• 17:55
  in
• 17:55
  another
• 17:56
  country,
• 17:56
  and
• 17:57
  I
• 17:57
  don't
• 17:58
  know
• 17:58
  what
• 17:59
  you
• 17:59
  guys
• 17:59
  have
• 17:59
  experienced,
• 18:00
  but
• 18:00
  when
• 18:00
  you
• 18:00
  go
• 18:00
  to
• 18:01
  another
• 18:01
  country
• 18:01
  like
• 18:02
  Costa
• 18:02
  Rica,
• 18:03
  Jamaica,
• 18:04
  things
• 18:04
  like
• 18:05
  that,
• 18:05
  the
• 18:05
  food
• 18:06
  tastes
• 18:06
  different,
• 18:07
  it's
• 18:07
  made
• 18:08
  different.
• 18:08
  It
• 18:08
  doesn't
• 18:08
  have
• 18:09
  all
• 18:09
  the
• 18:09
  that
• 18:09
  is
• 18:10
  in
• 18:10
  our
• 18:10
  food.
• 18:11
  So
• 18:11
  you
• 18:11
  like,
• 18:12
  the
• 18:12
  tastes
• 18:12
  are
• 18:13
  all
• 18:13
  different.
• 18:13
  I
• 18:14
  still
• 18:14
  swear
• 18:15
  I
• 18:15
  don't.
• 18:16
  My
• 18:17
  kids
• 18:17
  don't
• 18:17
  believe
• 18:17
  me,
• 18:17
  but
• 18:17
  I
• 18:18
  swear,
• 18:18
  like,
• 18:18
  the
• 18:18
  bananas
• 18:19
  in
• 18:19
  Costa
• 18:19
  Rica
• 18:20
  are
• 18:20
  so
• 18:20
  good
• 18:21
  and
• 18:21
  they
• 18:21
  taste
• 18:21
  so
• 18:22
  different
• 18:22
  than
• 18:22
  the
• 18:22
  bananas
• 18:23
  that
• 18:23
  we
• 18:23
  have
• 18:23
  at
• 18:23
  home.
• 18:24
  And
• 18:24
  it's
• 18:24
  really
• 18:25
  like
• 18:25
  the
• 18:25
  food
• 18:26
  is
• 18:26
  just
• 18:26
  more
• 18:26
  natural.
• 18:26
  They
• 18:27
  don't
• 18:27
  have
• 18:28
  crap
• 18:28
  in
• 18:28
  them.
• 18:29
  And
• 18:30
  so
• 18:30
  we
• 18:30
  really
• 18:31
  were
• 18:31
  thinking
• 18:31
  that
• 18:31
  I
• 18:31
  was
• 18:32
  having
• 18:32
  just
• 18:32
  some
• 18:32
  sort
• 18:33
  of,
• 18:33
  like,
• 18:33
  sugar
• 18:33
  crash,
• 18:35
  having
• 18:35
  less
• 18:35
  sugar
• 18:36
  in
• 18:36
  my
• 18:36
  food
• 18:36
  and
• 18:36
  less
• 18:37
  crap
• 18:37
  in
• 18:37
  it
• 18:37
  than
• 18:38
  what
• 18:38
  we're
• 18:38
  used
• 18:38
  to.
• 18:39
  And
• 18:39
  so
• 18:39
  we
• 18:40
  were
• 18:40
  like,
• 18:40
  well,
• 18:40
  let's
• 18:40
  just
• 18:40
  get
• 18:40
  back
• 18:41
  in
• 18:41
  the
• 18:41
  States
• 18:41
  and
• 18:41
  surely
• 18:42
  it
• 18:42
  won't
• 18:42
  happen
• 18:42
  anymore
• 18:42
  once
• 18:43
  we
• 18:43
  get
• 18:43
  back
• 18:43
  to
• 18:43
  a
• 18:43
  normal
• 18:43
  diet.
• 18:44
  So
• 18:44
  we
• 18:44
  thought,
• 18:45
  no
• 18:45
  big
• 18:45
  deal.
• 18:45
  Like,
• 18:45
  let's
• 18:46
  just
• 18:46
  get
• 18:46
  the
• 18:46
  trip
• 18:47
  over
• 18:47
  with.
• 18:48
  We
• 18:48
  get
• 18:48
  home,
• 18:49
  and
• 18:50
  it
• 18:50
  was
• 18:50
  that
• 18:51
  next
• 18:52
  morning
• 18:52
  that
• 18:53
  we
• 18:53
  were
• 18:53
  home
• 18:53
  is
• 18:54
  when
• 18:54
  all
• 18:55
  the
• 18:55
  feelings
• 18:55
  started
• 18:56
  coming
• 18:56
  again
• 18:57
  and
• 18:58
  I
• 18:58
  had
• 18:58
  a
• 18:58
  seizure.
• 18:59
  And
• 19:00
  when
• 19:00
  I
• 19:01
  have
• 19:02
  one
• 19:02
  of
• 19:02
  these
• 19:02
  seizures,
• 19:04
  you
• 19:04
  know,
• 19:04
  again,
• 19:05
  I,
• 19:05
  like,
• 19:06
  I
• 19:06
  don't
• 19:07
  obviously,
• 19:07
  really
• 19:07
  know
• 19:08
  what's
• 19:08
  going
• 19:08
  on
• 19:08
  and
• 19:08
  what's
• 19:09
  really
• 19:09
  visually
• 19:10
  happening.
• 19:11
  But
• 19:11
  as
• 19:12
  it's
• 19:12
  described
• 19:12
  to
• 19:12
  me,
• 19:13
  like,
• 19:13
  my
• 19:14
  body
• 19:14
  gets,
• 19:14
  like,
• 19:14
  really
• 19:15
  tight
• 19:15
  and,
• 19:16
  like,
• 19:16
  close
• 19:16
  together,
• 19:18
  and
• 19:21
  my
• 19:21
  eyes
• 19:22
  are
• 19:22
  fluttering,
• 19:22
  and
• 19:23
  my
• 19:23
  body
• 19:23
  starts
• 19:24
  jerking
• 19:24
  in,
• 19:24
  like,
• 19:24
  tight
• 19:25
  motions,
• 19:25
  like,
• 19:26
  into
• 19:26
  my
• 19:26
  body.
• 19:28
  And
• 19:29
  oftentimes
• 19:29
  when
• 19:29
  I
• 19:30
  wake
• 19:30
  up,
• 19:31
  my.
• 19:32
  My
• 19:33
  tongue
• 19:33
  would
• 19:33
  be
• 19:33
  swollen,
• 19:34
  and
• 19:35
  so
• 19:36
  obviously
• 19:36
  I
• 19:36
  bit
• 19:37
  my
• 19:37
  tongue.
• 19:38
  And
• 19:38
  my
• 19:39
  mouth
• 19:39
  would
• 19:39
  be,
• 19:39
  like,
• 19:39
  really,
• 19:39
  really
• 19:40
  dry,
• 19:40
  so
• 19:40
  I'd
• 19:40
  need
• 19:40
  water.
• 19:40
  But
• 19:41
  I
• 19:41
  also
• 19:41
  will
• 19:41
  have
• 19:42
  a
• 19:42
  hard
• 19:42
  time
• 19:42
  staying
• 19:42
  awake.
• 19:43
  So,
• 19:43
  like,
• 19:43
  I'm
• 19:43
  constantly
• 19:44
  needing,
• 19:44
  like,
• 19:44
  falling
• 19:45
  asleep
• 19:45
  to
• 19:45
  take
• 19:46
  like,
• 19:46
  a
• 19:46
  little
• 19:46
  nap
• 19:46
  or
• 19:46
  something,
• 19:47
  and
• 19:47
  then
• 19:47
  waking
• 19:47
  up
• 19:48
  chugging
• 19:48
  water.
• 19:48
  And
• 19:48
  then
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  get
• 19:49
  really,
• 19:49
  really,
• 19:50
  really
• 19:50
  cold.
• 19:50
  So
• 19:51
  then
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  have
• 19:51
  to,
• 19:51
  like.
• 19:52
  I
• 19:52
  mean,
• 19:54
  when
• 19:54
  this.
• 19:55
  It
• 19:55
  was
• 19:56
  summer,
• 19:56
  when
• 19:57
  these
• 19:57
  started,
• 19:57
  like,
• 19:58
  hot,
• 19:58
  hot
• 19:58
  summer,
• 19:59
  and,
• 20:00
  like,
• 20:00
  uncontrollably
• 20:01
  cold
• 20:01
  to
• 20:01
  where,
• 20:02
  like,
• 20:02
  even
• 20:03
  though
• 20:03
  the
• 20:03
  environment
• 20:04
  is
• 20:04
  hot,
• 20:04
  like,
• 20:04
  I'm
• 20:05
  bundled
• 20:06
  in
• 20:06
  blankets
• 20:07
  and
• 20:07
  hoodies,
• 20:07
  like,
• 20:07
  trying
• 20:08
  to
• 20:08
  keep
• 20:08
  myself
• 20:08
  warm
• 20:09
  because
• 20:09
  I
• 20:10
  like,
• 20:10
  my
• 20:10
  body
• 20:10
  just,
• 20:11
  for
• 20:11
  some
• 20:11
  reason,
• 20:11
  can't
• 20:12
  feel
• 20:12
  warmth.
• 20:13
  So,
• 20:14
  of
• 20:15
  course,
• 20:15
  all
• 20:15
  of
• 20:15
  these
• 20:16
  symptoms
• 20:17
  really
• 20:17
  do
• 20:18
  lead
• 20:18
  to
• 20:18
  a
• 20:19
  seizure.
• 20:20
  They're
• 20:21
  classic
• 20:22
  simples,
• 20:23
  you
• 20:23
  know,
• 20:24
  classic
• 20:24
  signs
• 20:25
  of
• 20:25
  a
• 20:25
  seizure
• 20:26
  down
• 20:27
  to
• 20:27
  biting
• 20:27
  your
• 20:27
  tongue
• 20:28
  and
• 20:28
  your
• 20:28
  tongue
• 20:28
  being
• 20:28
  swollen.
• 20:30
  So
• 20:30
  when
• 20:31
  it
• 20:31
  happens,
• 20:31
  when
• 20:31
  we
• 20:31
  get
• 20:31
  back
• 20:32
  that
• 20:32
  first
• 20:32
  morning
• 20:33
  back
• 20:33
  in.
• 20:34
  Back
• 20:34
  at
• 20:34
  home,
• 20:34
  back
• 20:34
  in
• 20:35
  the
• 20:35
  US
• 20:36
  it
• 20:36
  happens
• 20:37
  again.
• 20:38
  And
• 20:39
  I
• 20:40
  think
• 20:40
  my
• 20:40
  mom
• 20:40
  had
• 20:40
  had
• 20:41
  the
• 20:41
  kids
• 20:41
  the
• 20:42
  whole
• 20:42
  time
• 20:42
  we
• 20:42
  were
• 20:42
  gone,
• 20:43
  so
• 20:43
  we
• 20:44
  felt
• 20:44
  bad.
• 20:45
  And
• 20:45
  Simon
• 20:46
  called
• 20:46
  his
• 20:46
  mom
• 20:47
  to
• 20:47
  come
• 20:47
  get
• 20:47
  Nora.
• 20:49
  I
• 20:49
  think
• 20:49
  the
• 20:50
  big
• 20:50
  kids
• 20:50
  were
• 20:50
  still
• 20:50
  with
• 20:50
  their
• 20:51
  dad
• 20:51
  or
• 20:51
  something,
• 20:52
  and
• 20:53
  obviously
• 20:54
  a
• 20:54
  lot
• 20:54
  of
• 20:54
  this
• 20:54
  is
• 20:54
  still
• 20:54
  a
• 20:55
  blur,
• 20:55
  but
• 20:56
  we'll
• 20:56
  get.
• 20:56
  We'll
• 20:56
  get
• 20:57
  to
• 20:57
  the
• 20:57
  point,
• 20:57
  I
• 20:57
  promise.
• 20:58
  So
• 20:59
  I
• 20:59
  remember
• 21:00
  we
• 21:00
  get
• 21:00
  to
• 21:00
  the
• 21:00
  hospital,
• 21:01
  and
• 21:02
  because
• 21:02
  we
• 21:03
  had
• 21:03
  been
• 21:03
  out
• 21:04
  of
• 21:04
  the
• 21:04
  country,
• 21:06
  we
• 21:06
  got
• 21:07
  quarantined,
• 21:08
  which
• 21:09
  actually
• 21:09
  was
• 21:10
  kind
• 21:10
  of
• 21:10
  one
• 21:10
  of
• 21:10
  the
• 21:11
  funny,
• 21:12
  coolest
• 21:12
  things.
• 21:13
  It's
• 21:14
  just
• 21:14
  like
• 21:14
  Grey's
• 21:14
  Anatomy
• 21:15
  when
• 21:15
  you
• 21:15
  watch
• 21:15
  someone
• 21:16
  get
• 21:16
  quarantined
• 21:16
  and
• 21:16
  you're
• 21:17
  in
• 21:17
  this,
• 21:17
  like,
• 21:17
  big
• 21:18
  glass
• 21:18
  room
• 21:19
  with,
• 21:19
  like,
• 21:19
  sliding
• 21:20
  doors,
• 21:20
  and
• 21:21
  all
• 21:21
  the
• 21:21
  nurses
• 21:22
  and
• 21:22
  doctors
• 21:22
  that
• 21:22
  would
• 21:23
  come
• 21:23
  in
• 21:23
  were
• 21:23
  in
• 21:23
  hazmat
• 21:24
  suits
• 21:24
  because
• 21:25
  we're
• 21:25
  out
• 21:25
  of
• 21:25
  the
• 21:25
  country.
• 21:26
  It
• 21:26
  was.
• 21:27
  It
• 21:27
  was
• 21:27
  wild.
• 21:27
  But
• 21:27
  I
• 21:28
  will
• 21:28
  say
• 21:28
  I
• 21:28
  have
• 21:29
  never
• 21:29
  had
• 21:30
  faster
• 21:30
  care
• 21:31
  in
• 21:31
  a
• 21:31
  hospital
• 21:32
  than
• 21:32
  I
• 21:32
  did
• 21:32
  coming
• 21:32
  back
• 21:33
  from
• 21:33
  Costa
• 21:33
  Rica.
• 21:34
  I
• 21:34
  mean,
• 21:34
  we
• 21:34
  were
• 21:34
  immediately
• 21:35
  in
• 21:35
  a
• 21:35
  room,
• 21:36
  immediately
• 21:36
  being
• 21:37
  treated.
• 21:37
  It
• 21:37
  was
• 21:37
  great.
• 21:38
  It
• 21:38
  was,
• 21:39
  you
• 21:40
  know,
• 21:40
  if
• 21:40
  you're
• 21:40
  gonna
• 21:40
  go
• 21:41
  to
• 21:41
  the
• 21:41
  hospital?
• 21:41
  Maybe,
• 21:42
  maybe
• 21:42
  just
• 21:42
  say
• 21:42
  you've
• 21:42
  been
• 21:42
  out
• 21:42
  of
• 21:42
  the
• 21:43
  country.
• 21:43
  I
• 21:43
  don't,
• 21:43
  don't
• 21:44
  do
• 21:44
  that.
• 21:44
  I'm
• 21:44
  just
• 21:44
  kidding.
• 21:44
  But
• 21:46
  yeah,
• 21:47
  don't
• 21:47
  do
• 21:47
  that.
• 21:49
  So
• 21:50
  they're
• 21:51
  running
• 21:51
  all
• 21:51
  these
• 21:51
  blood
• 21:51
  tests
• 21:52
  and
• 21:52
  I
• 21:52
  remember
• 21:53
  they
• 21:53
  were,
• 21:54
  I'm
• 21:54
  really
• 21:54
  hard
• 21:54
  to
• 21:55
  get
• 21:55
  a
• 21:55
  catheter
• 21:55
  in
• 21:55
  like
• 21:56
  for
• 21:56
  blood.
• 21:56
  And
• 21:57
  I
• 21:57
  remember
• 21:57
  that
• 21:58
  was
• 21:58
  one
• 21:58
  of
• 21:58
  the
• 21:58
  first
• 21:58
  things
• 21:58
  that
• 21:59
  they
• 21:59
  did
• 21:59
  is
• 22:00
  they
• 22:00
  wanted
• 22:00
  to
• 22:00
  make
• 22:00
  sure
• 22:01
  that
• 22:01
  they
• 22:01
  had
• 22:01
  a
• 22:01
  catheter
• 22:02
  access
• 22:02
  in,
• 22:02
  in
• 22:02
  case
• 22:03
  I
• 22:03
  started
• 22:03
  having
• 22:03
  a
• 22:03
  seizure
• 22:04
  again.
• 22:04
  And
• 22:04
  I,
• 22:05
  while
• 22:05
  they
• 22:05
  were
• 22:06
  getting
• 22:06
  the
• 22:06
  catheter
• 22:07
  in,
• 22:08
  all
• 22:09
  the
• 22:09
  feelings
• 22:09
  started
• 22:09
  coming
• 22:10
  and
• 22:10
  I
• 22:10
  started
• 22:10
  warning
• 22:10
  them,
• 22:11
  like,
• 22:11
  hey,
• 22:11
  like
• 22:11
  I'm
• 22:12
  starting
• 22:12
  to
• 22:12
  feel
• 22:12
  all
• 22:12
  the
• 22:12
  things.
• 22:13
  And
• 22:13
  then
• 22:13
  once
• 22:14
  my
• 22:14
  head
• 22:15
  started
• 22:15
  getting
• 22:15
  heavy,
• 22:16
  Simon,
• 22:16
  you
• 22:16
  know,
• 22:17
  told
• 22:17
  them,
• 22:17
  hey,
• 22:17
  like
• 22:18
  you
• 22:18
  got
• 22:19
  seconds,
• 22:19
  like
• 22:19
  she's
• 22:20
  about
• 22:20
  to
• 22:20
  have
• 22:20
  one.
• 22:21
  And
• 22:21
  so
• 22:21
  I
• 22:21
  remember
• 22:22
  they
• 22:22
  like
• 22:22
  finished
• 22:22
  the
• 22:22
  catheter
• 22:23
  really
• 22:23
  fast.
• 22:23
  They
• 22:23
  injected
• 22:24
  this
• 22:24
  medication
• 22:25
  that
• 22:25
  I
• 22:25
  guess
• 22:25
  like
• 22:26
  stops
• 22:27
  seizures.
• 22:28
  And
• 22:30
  I
• 22:31
  remember
• 22:31
  this
• 22:32
  wave,
• 22:33
  like
• 22:33
  this
• 22:34
  just
• 22:34
  like
• 22:34
  warm
• 22:35
  wave
• 22:36
  just
• 22:37
  filling
• 22:38
  my
• 22:38
  whole
• 22:39
  body.
• 22:39
  Like
• 22:39
  my
• 22:40
  chest
• 22:40
  felt
• 22:40
  hot
• 22:41
  and
• 22:42
  heavy
• 22:43
  and
• 22:44
  just
• 22:44
  as
• 22:44
  hot
• 22:44
  and
• 22:45
  heavy
• 22:45
  is
• 22:45
  running
• 22:45
  down
• 22:45
  my
• 22:46
  whole
• 22:46
  body.
• 22:47
  And
• 22:47
  at
• 22:48
  this
• 22:48
  point
• 22:48
  they're
• 22:48
  getting
• 22:48
  ready
• 22:49
  to
• 22:49
  transfer
• 22:49
  us
• 22:49
  into
• 22:50
  a
• 22:50
  room
• 22:50
  because
• 22:50
  they've
• 22:50
  decided,
• 22:51
  you
• 22:51
  know,
• 22:51
  I'm
• 22:51
  probably
• 22:52
  not
• 22:52
  going
• 22:52
  to
• 22:52
  kill
• 22:52
  people
• 22:53
  from
• 22:53
  being
• 22:53
  in
• 22:54
  Costa
• 22:54
  Rica.
• 22:55
  So
• 22:55
  they're
• 22:55
  willing
• 22:55
  us
• 22:55
  to
• 22:56
  another
• 22:56
  room.
• 22:56
  And
• 22:56
  I,
• 22:57
  I
• 22:57
  really
• 22:57
  think
• 22:58
  I'm
• 22:58
  having
• 22:58
  a
• 22:58
  heart
• 22:58
  attack
• 22:59
  and
• 22:59
  I'm
• 22:59
  dying.
• 22:59
  Like
• 23:00
  I
• 23:00
  just,
• 23:00
  I
• 23:00
  feel
• 23:00
  like
• 23:01
  I
• 23:01
  can't
• 23:01
  breathe.
• 23:01
  And
• 23:02
  everyone's
• 23:02
  like,
• 23:02
  no,
• 23:03
  you
• 23:03
  know,
• 23:03
  your
• 23:04
  heart
• 23:04
  rate's
• 23:04
  normal,
• 23:05
  your
• 23:05
  oxygen
• 23:05
  is
• 23:05
  normal,
• 23:06
  like
• 23:06
  you're
• 23:06
  fine.
• 23:06
  And
• 23:07
  I'm
• 23:07
  just
• 23:07
  wide
• 23:07
  eyed
• 23:07
  thinking,
• 23:08
  this
• 23:08
  is
• 23:08
  it,
• 23:08
  I'm
• 23:09
  about
• 23:09
  to
• 23:09
  die.
• 23:10
  I
• 23:10
  know,
• 23:10
  I
• 23:11
  don't
• 23:11
  know
• 23:11
  what,
• 23:12
  I
• 23:12
  don't
• 23:12
  know
• 23:12
  why
• 23:12
  everyone's
• 23:13
  so
• 23:13
  calm.
• 23:13
  Like
• 23:13
  I'm
• 23:13
  dying,
• 23:14
  this
• 23:14
  is
• 23:14
  it.
• 23:15
  And
• 23:16
  sure
• 23:16
  enough,
• 23:17
  I
• 23:17
  was
• 23:17
  not
• 23:17
  dying.
• 23:18
  They
• 23:18
  gave
• 23:18
  me
• 23:18
  like
• 23:19
  a,
• 23:19
  emergency
• 23:20
  like
• 23:20
  antianxiety
• 23:22
  injection
• 23:22
  or
• 23:22
  something
• 23:23
  and
• 23:23
  the
• 23:23
  feeling
• 23:24
  went
• 23:24
  away.
• 23:24
  So
• 23:25
  I
• 23:25
  wasn't
• 23:26
  dying.
• 23:26
  I
• 23:26
  guess,
• 23:27
  I
• 23:27
  guess
• 23:27
  that's
• 23:27
  like
• 23:27
  an
• 23:27
  intense
• 23:28
  panic
• 23:28
  attack.
• 23:29
  So
• 23:29
  that's
• 23:30
  good.
• 23:31
  I
• 23:31
  get
• 23:31
  scheduled
• 23:32
  an
• 23:32
  eeg.
• 23:33
  So
• 23:33
  an
• 23:33
  EEG
• 23:34
  is
• 23:34
  when
• 23:34
  they
• 23:34
  attach
• 23:35
  all
• 23:35
  those
• 23:35
  little
• 23:35
  wires
• 23:36
  to
• 23:36
  your
• 23:36
  head
• 23:37
  and
• 23:37
  they
• 23:38
  can
• 23:38
  pick
• 23:38
  up
• 23:38
  on
• 23:39
  the
• 23:40
  brain
• 23:40
  wavelengths.
• 23:41
  Like
• 23:42
  you
• 23:42
  can
• 23:42
  see
• 23:43
  if
• 23:43
  you
• 23:44
  move
• 23:44
  a
• 23:44
  finger.
• 23:44
  Like
• 23:45
  you
• 23:45
  see
• 23:45
  like
• 23:45
  wave
• 23:46
  changes
• 23:46
  on
• 23:47
  this
• 23:47
  machine.
• 23:48
  And
• 23:48
  a
• 23:48
  lot
• 23:48
  of
• 23:48
  times
• 23:48
  when
• 23:48
  they
• 23:49
  hook
• 23:49
  them
• 23:49
  up,
• 23:49
  you,
• 23:50
  you
• 23:50
  can
• 23:50
  see
• 23:50
  if
• 23:50
  someone
• 23:51
  has
• 23:51
  had
• 23:51
  a
• 23:51
  seizure
• 23:51
  because
• 23:51
  it'll
• 23:52
  be
• 23:52
  like
• 23:52
  some
• 23:52
  abnormal
• 23:53
  tease
• 23:53
  in
• 23:53
  the
• 23:54
  line.
• 23:55
  But
• 23:55
  sometimes
• 23:56
  not,
• 23:56
  sometimes
• 23:56
  it
• 23:57
  doesn't
• 23:57
  show
• 23:57
  up.
• 23:58
  So
• 23:59
  when
• 23:59
  I
• 23:59
  had
• 23:59
  mine,
• 23:59
  I
• 24:00
  had
• 24:00
  two
• 24:01
  the
• 24:01
  first
• 24:01
  one
• 24:01
  was
• 24:02
  inconclusive.
• 24:03
  My
• 24:04
  I
• 24:04
  have
• 24:04
  a
• 24:04
  lot
• 24:04
  of
• 24:04
  hair
• 24:05
  and
• 24:05
  so
• 24:05
  apparently
• 24:06
  it
• 24:06
  didn't
• 24:06
  connect
• 24:06
  right.
• 24:07
  And
• 24:08
  so
• 24:08
  they
• 24:09
  came
• 24:09
  back
• 24:09
  the
• 24:09
  next
• 24:10
  day
• 24:10
  and
• 24:10
  they
• 24:11
  did
• 24:11
  another
• 24:11
  one.
• 24:12
  That
• 24:13
  one
• 24:13
  came
• 24:13
  up
• 24:13
  with
• 24:14
  no
• 24:14
  abnormalities.
• 24:15
  So
• 24:17
  no
• 24:17
  answers
• 24:18
  onto
• 24:18
  what
• 24:18
  was
• 24:19
  going
• 24:19
  on.
• 24:19
  I
• 24:19
  had
• 24:19
  a,
• 24:20
  an
• 24:20
  MRI
• 24:21
  or
• 24:21
  a
• 24:21
  CAT
• 24:21
  scan.
• 24:22
  I
• 24:22
  can't
• 24:22
  remember
• 24:22
  which
• 24:22
  one's
• 24:22
  which,
• 24:23
  so
• 24:23
  I
• 24:23
  don't
• 24:23
  know
• 24:23
  the
• 24:23
  difference.
• 24:24
  But
• 24:24
  I
• 24:24
  remember
• 24:25
  going
• 24:25
  into
• 24:25
  this
• 24:25
  machine
• 24:26
  and
• 24:26
  having
• 24:26
  like
• 24:26
  a
• 24:26
  scan
• 24:26
  in
• 24:27
  my
• 24:27
  head
• 24:27
  and
• 24:27
  there
• 24:28
  was
• 24:28
  nothing
• 24:28
  there
• 24:28
  like
• 24:29
  that
• 24:30
  could
• 24:30
  cause
• 24:30
  like
• 24:30
  a
• 24:30
  seizure.
• 24:31
  So
• 24:31
  that
• 24:31
  was
• 24:31
  good.
• 24:32
  But
• 24:33
  blood
• 24:33
  work
• 24:34
  was
• 24:34
  all
• 24:34
  normal.
• 24:34
  We
• 24:34
  did
• 24:35
  all
• 24:35
  sorts
• 24:35
  of
• 24:35
  tests.
• 24:36
  They
• 24:36
  even
• 24:36
  did
• 24:36
  a
• 24:36
  spinal
• 24:37
  tap
• 24:37
  and
• 24:38
  I
• 24:38
  really
• 24:38
  did
• 24:39
  not
• 24:39
  want
• 24:39
  to
• 24:39
  do
• 24:39
  that
• 24:39
  but
• 24:40
  they
• 24:40
  couldn't
• 24:40
  find
• 24:40
  any
• 24:40
  answers
• 24:41
  and
• 24:42
  they
• 24:42
  were
• 24:42
  like,
• 24:42
  you
• 24:43
  know,
• 24:43
  this
• 24:43
  really,
• 24:43
  really,
• 24:43
  really
• 24:44
  could
• 24:44
  give
• 24:44
  us
• 24:44
  the
• 24:44
  answer,
• 24:44
  like
• 24:45
  you
• 24:45
  really
• 24:45
  should
• 24:45
  do
• 24:45
  it.
• 24:46
  And
• 24:46
  I
• 24:46
  just,
• 24:46
  I,
• 24:47
  I
• 24:47
  was
• 24:48
  so
• 24:49
  upset.
• 24:49
  I
• 24:49
  did
• 24:49
  not
• 24:49
  want
• 24:50
  to
• 24:50
  do
• 24:50
  it,
• 24:51
  but
• 24:51
  I
• 24:51
  did
• 24:51
  it.
• 24:52
  I
• 24:53
  actually
• 24:53
  passed
• 24:53
  out
• 24:53
  during
• 24:54
  the
• 24:54
  spinal
• 24:54
  tap.
• 24:55
  I1
• 24:56
  I
• 24:56
  don't
• 24:56
  do
• 24:57
  needles
• 24:57
  very
• 24:57
  well
• 24:59
  and
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  think
• 25:00
  I
• 25:00
  just
• 25:00
  worked
• 25:01
  myself
• 25:01
  out
• 25:01
  and
• 25:01
  I
• 25:01
  passed
• 25:02
  out
• 25:02
  during
• 25:02
  it.
• 25:03
  But
• 25:04
  I
• 25:04
  remember
• 25:04
  like
• 25:04
  being
• 25:05
  able
• 25:05
  to
• 25:05
  hear
• 25:05
  and
• 25:05
  then
• 25:05
  her
• 25:05
  saying
• 25:06
  oh,
• 25:06
  she's
• 25:06
  out
• 25:07
  and
• 25:08
  then
• 25:08
  waking
• 25:08
  back
• 25:09
  up
• 25:09
  and
• 25:09
  I'm
• 25:09
  like
• 25:09
  laying
• 25:09
  back
• 25:10
  down
• 25:10
  flat.
• 25:10
  And
• 25:11
  I
• 25:11
  was
• 25:11
  like,
• 25:11
  well
• 25:12
  I
• 25:12
  told
• 25:12
  you
• 25:12
  guys
• 25:12
  I'd
• 25:12
  probably
• 25:13
  pass
• 25:13
  out.
• 25:13
  I
• 25:13
  passed
• 25:14
  out.
• 25:14
  When
• 25:14
  my
• 25:14
  blood's
• 25:14
  drawn,
• 25:15
  it's
• 25:15
  just,
• 25:16
  just
• 25:16
  a
• 25:16
  whole
• 25:16
  thing.
• 25:17
  So
• 25:17
  I
• 25:18
  was
• 25:18
  in
• 25:18
  the
• 25:18
  hospital
• 25:18
  for
• 25:19
  five
• 25:19
  days.
• 25:20
  I
• 25:21
  had
• 25:21
  like
• 25:22
  just
• 25:23
  numerous
• 25:23
  tests
• 25:24
  run.
• 25:24
  Nothing
• 25:24
  was
• 25:24
  coming
• 25:25
  up.
• 25:25
  When
• 25:26
  I
• 25:26
  left
• 25:26
  the
• 25:26
  hospital,
• 25:27
  I
• 25:27
  left
• 25:28
  on
• 25:29
  anti
• 25:29
  seizure
• 25:30
  medications,
• 25:31
  Keppra
• 25:33
  and
• 25:34
  on
• 25:35
  a
• 25:36
  anxiety
• 25:37
  medication
• 25:38
  that
• 25:38
  doubles
• 25:39
  as
• 25:39
  like
• 25:39
  a
• 25:40
  antihistamine.
• 25:41
  If
• 25:41
  I
• 25:41
  remember
• 25:41
  correctly.
• 25:42
  It
• 25:42
  was
• 25:42
  a
• 25:43
  really,
• 25:43
  it
• 25:43
  was
• 25:43
  odd.
• 25:46
  And
• 25:47
  Trazodone
• 25:48
  I
• 25:48
  believe
• 25:48
  I
• 25:48
  left
• 25:49
  the
• 25:49
  hospital
• 25:49
  with.
• 25:50
  Yes
• 25:50
  I
• 25:50
  did
• 25:51
  because
• 25:51
  I,
• 25:54
  yes,
• 25:54
  I
• 25:55
  was
• 25:55
  having
• 25:55
  a
• 25:55
  hard
• 25:55
  time
• 25:55
  sleeping
• 25:56
  and
• 25:56
  I
• 25:56
  was
• 25:56
  so
• 25:56
  like
• 25:56
  overwhelmed.
• 26:00
  Regardless,
• 26:02
  I
• 26:02
  leave
• 26:02
  the
• 26:03
  hospital
• 26:03
  on,
• 26:03
  on
• 26:04
  a
• 26:04
  handful
• 26:04
  of
• 26:04
  meds
• 26:05
  and
• 26:05
  their
• 26:06
  you
• 26:06
  know,
• 26:06
  recommendation
• 26:07
  is
• 26:07
  stay
• 26:08
  on
• 26:08
  this
• 26:08
  medication,
• 26:09
  this
• 26:09
  anti
• 26:10
  seizure
• 26:10
  medication
• 26:11
  and
• 26:11
  get
• 26:11
  in
• 26:11
  with
• 26:11
  a
• 26:11
  neurologist
• 26:12
  when
• 26:12
  you
• 26:12
  can.
• 26:14
  Being
• 26:15
  on
• 26:15
  Keppra,
• 26:16
  I
• 26:17
  know
• 26:17
  that
• 26:17
  some
• 26:17
  people
• 26:17
  have
• 26:17
  been
• 26:17
  on
• 26:18
  Keppra
• 26:18
  and
• 26:18
  like
• 26:18
  have
• 26:19
  felt
• 26:19
  okay.
• 26:19
  But
• 26:20
  there
• 26:20
  is
• 26:22
  wow.
• 26:24
  So
• 26:24
  kepper
• 26:25
  your
• 26:25
  brain
• 26:26
  and
• 26:26
  your
• 26:26
  body
• 26:26
  has
• 26:27
  to
• 26:27
  get
• 26:27
  used
• 26:27
  to
• 26:27
  it.
• 26:27
  So
• 26:27
  when
• 26:28
  you
• 26:28
  start
• 26:28
  taking
• 26:28
  Keppra
• 26:29
  you
• 26:30
  are.
• 26:31
  I
• 26:32
  was
• 26:32
  high
• 26:33
  as
• 26:33
  a
• 26:33
  kite
• 26:33
  is
• 26:34
  what
• 26:34
  I
• 26:34
  guess
• 26:35
  the
• 26:35
  base.
• 26:35
  The
• 26:35
  best
• 26:36
  way
• 26:36
  I
• 26:36
  can
• 26:36
  explain
• 26:36
  it,
• 26:37
  I
• 26:37
  like
• 26:37
  my,
• 26:38
  my
• 26:38
  brain
• 26:39
  just
• 26:39
  wasn't
• 26:40
  functioning.
• 26:41
  I
• 26:41
  was
• 26:41
  sleeping
• 26:41
  non
• 26:42
  stop.
• 26:42
  I
• 26:42
  was
• 26:42
  so
• 26:43
  tired
• 26:44
  and
• 26:45
  I
• 26:45
  was
• 26:46
  loopy.
• 26:46
  I
• 26:47
  would
• 26:47
  forget
• 26:47
  what
• 26:47
  I
• 26:47
  was
• 26:48
  doing.
• 26:49
  I
• 26:49
  would
• 26:50
  forget
• 26:50
  if
• 26:51
  I
• 26:51
  Took
• 26:51
  my
• 26:51
  meds.
• 26:52
  When
• 26:52
  I
• 26:52
  took
• 26:52
  my
• 26:52
  meds,
• 26:54
  there
• 26:54
  was
• 26:54
  definitely
• 26:55
  a
• 26:55
  few
• 26:56
  days
• 26:56
  where
• 26:56
  I
• 26:56
  doubled
• 26:57
  up
• 26:57
  on
• 26:57
  my
• 26:57
  meds
• 26:57
  because
• 26:58
  I
• 26:58
  would
• 26:58
  take
• 26:59
  them,
• 26:59
  and
• 26:59
  then
• 27:00
  poof.
• 27:01
  Am
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  holding
• 27:02
  my
• 27:02
  bottle
• 27:02
  because
• 27:03
  I
• 27:03
  just
• 27:03
  took
• 27:03
  them,
• 27:04
  or
• 27:04
  am
• 27:04
  I
• 27:04
  holding
• 27:04
  my
• 27:04
  bottle
• 27:05
  because
• 27:05
  I'm
• 27:05
  about
• 27:06
  to
• 27:06
  take
• 27:06
  them?
• 27:06
  That's
• 27:07
  how
• 27:07
  bad
• 27:07
  it
• 27:07
  was.
• 27:08
  Now
• 27:08
  I
• 27:09
  know
• 27:09
  that
• 27:09
  that
• 27:09
  is
• 27:10
  a
• 27:10
  very
• 27:10
  common
• 27:11
  side
• 27:11
  effect
• 27:11
  with
• 27:12
  Keppra.
• 27:12
  It
• 27:13
  really
• 27:13
  clouds
• 27:14
  your
• 27:14
  memory.
• 27:14
  Not
• 27:15
  even
• 27:15
  just
• 27:15
  when
• 27:15
  you
• 27:15
  start
• 27:16
  taking
• 27:16
  it,
• 27:16
  but
• 27:17
  long
• 27:17
  term,
• 27:17
  it
• 27:18
  affects
• 27:18
  your
• 27:18
  memory.
• 27:19
  So
• 27:19
  I
• 27:19
  did
• 27:20
  learn
• 27:20
  that
• 27:20
  there's
• 27:22
  people
• 27:23
  that
• 27:23
  would
• 27:23
  have
• 27:24
  family
• 27:24
  members
• 27:24
  that
• 27:25
  have
• 27:25
  seizures
• 27:26
  and
• 27:26
  on
• 27:26
  Keppra,
• 27:27
  and
• 27:27
  they
• 27:27
  were
• 27:27
  like,
• 27:27
  yeah,
• 27:27
  no,
• 27:28
  that's
• 27:28
  really
• 27:28
  common.
• 27:28
  Like,
• 27:29
  we
• 27:29
  have
• 27:29
  to
• 27:29
  do
• 27:29
  this
• 27:29
  really
• 27:30
  strict
• 27:31
  medication
• 27:31
  tracking
• 27:32
  system
• 27:33
  because
• 27:33
  they
• 27:34
  will
• 27:34
  just
• 27:34
  be
• 27:34
  looking
• 27:34
  at
• 27:35
  their
• 27:35
  pills
• 27:35
  and
• 27:35
  can't
• 27:35
  remember
• 27:36
  if
• 27:36
  they
• 27:36
  just
• 27:36
  took
• 27:36
  them
• 27:36
  or
• 27:37
  were
• 27:37
  about
• 27:37
  to.
• 27:38
  I
• 27:38
  was
• 27:38
  like,
• 27:38
  great.
• 27:38
  Okay,
• 27:39
  well,
• 27:39
  that's
• 27:39
  good.
• 27:41
  Good
• 27:41
  to
• 27:41
  know.
• 27:41
  Kepper
• 27:42
  is
• 27:42
  also
• 27:42
  a
• 27:43
  very
• 27:43
  big
• 27:44
  side
• 27:44
  effect
• 27:44
  of
• 27:44
  it
• 27:45
  is
• 27:46
  rage.
• 27:48
  And
• 27:49
  that
• 27:49
  is
• 27:49
  definitely
• 27:50
  something
• 27:50
  that
• 27:50
  I
• 27:50
  did
• 27:50
  not
• 27:51
  want
• 27:51
  to
• 27:51
  experience.
• 27:51
  Fortunately,
• 27:52
  I
• 27:52
  don't
• 27:52
  feel
• 27:52
  like
• 27:52
  I
• 27:53
  ever
• 27:53
  got
• 27:53
  the
• 27:53
  Kepper
• 27:53
  rage
• 27:54
  because
• 27:55
  I
• 27:55
  didn't
• 27:55
  take
• 27:55
  it
• 27:56
  for
• 27:56
  too
• 27:56
  long.
• 27:57
  It
• 27:58
  was
• 27:58
  only
• 27:58
  maybe
• 27:58
  two
• 27:59
  weeks
• 27:59
  before
• 27:59
  we
• 27:59
  did
• 27:59
  go
• 28:00
  to
• 28:00
  the
• 28:00
  neurologist.
• 28:01
  And
• 28:02
  she.
• 28:05
  I
• 28:05
  remember
• 28:05
  we
• 28:05
  felt
• 28:07
  like,
• 28:07
  okay,
• 28:09
  she's
• 28:09
  gonna
• 28:09
  figure
• 28:09
  out
• 28:09
  what's
• 28:10
  going
• 28:10
  on.
• 28:11
  But
• 28:13
  what
• 28:13
  she
• 28:13
  did
• 28:13
  is
• 28:14
  she
• 28:14
  sat
• 28:15
  with
• 28:15
  us
• 28:15
  for
• 28:15
  maybe
• 28:16
  about
• 28:17
  30
• 28:17
  minutes
• 28:18
  and
• 28:18
  then
• 28:19
  basically
• 28:19
  just
• 28:19
  kind
• 28:19
  of
• 28:19
  shook
• 28:20
  up
• 28:20
  all
• 28:20
  my
• 28:20
  meds.
• 28:20
  She
• 28:21
  wanted
• 28:21
  to
• 28:21
  wean
• 28:21
  off
• 28:22
  a
• 28:22
  Kepper
• 28:23
  and
• 28:24
  put
• 28:24
  me
• 28:24
  on
• 28:24
  this
• 28:24
  other
• 28:25
  one.
• 28:25
  And
• 28:25
  I
• 28:25
  think
• 28:25
  it
• 28:25
  started
• 28:26
  with
• 28:26
  an
• 28:26
  L,
• 28:26
  but
• 28:26
  I
• 28:26
  can't
• 28:27
  remember
• 28:27
  what
• 28:27
  it
• 28:27
  was
• 28:28
  anymore.
• 28:29
  And
• 28:30
  she,
• 28:30
  like,
• 28:31
  upped
• 28:31
  my
• 28:31
  anxiety
• 28:32
  and
• 28:32
  changed
• 28:32
  my
• 28:32
  anxiety
• 28:33
  meds,
• 28:33
  and
• 28:37
  I
• 28:38
  can't
• 28:38
  even
• 28:38
  tell
• 28:38
  you
• 28:38
  anymore.
• 28:39
  Basically
• 28:39
  shook
• 28:40
  up
• 28:40
  my
• 28:40
  meds.
• 28:42
  But
• 28:42
  ultimately
• 28:42
  she
• 28:43
  ended
• 28:43
  up
• 28:43
  having
• 28:43
  me.
• 28:44
  She.
• 28:44
  I
• 28:45
  remember
• 28:45
  the
• 28:45
  goal
• 28:45
  was
• 28:46
  to
• 28:46
  wean
• 28:46
  me
• 28:46
  off
• 28:46
  Keppra,
• 28:47
  but
• 28:47
  she
• 28:47
  ended
• 28:47
  up
• 28:47
  having
• 28:47
  me
• 28:48
  on
• 28:48
  Kepper
• 28:49
  and
• 28:49
  this
• 28:49
  other
• 28:49
  anti
• 28:50
  seizure.
• 28:50
  So
• 28:50
  I
• 28:50
  was
• 28:50
  on
• 28:50
  two
• 28:51
  anti
• 28:51
  seizures
• 28:52
  at
• 28:53
  one
• 28:53
  point
• 28:53
  because
• 28:53
  she
• 28:53
  ended
• 28:53
  up
• 28:54
  deciding
• 28:54
  to
• 28:54
  keep
• 28:54
  me
• 28:54
  on
• 28:55
  both
• 28:55
  of
• 28:55
  them
• 28:56
  on
• 28:56
  top
• 28:56
  of
• 28:56
  the
• 28:56
  anxiety
• 28:57
  medicine,
• 28:58
  which
• 28:58
  I
• 28:59
  think
• 28:59
  is
• 28:59
  what
• 28:59
  I
• 28:59
  still
• 29:00
  take
• 29:00
  today,
• 29:01
  anti
• 29:02
  anxiety
• 29:02
  and
• 29:03
  depression.
• 29:05
  So
• 29:05
  we
• 29:05
  follow
• 29:06
  up
• 29:06
  after
• 29:07
  three
• 29:07
  months
• 29:08
  of
• 29:08
  her
• 29:09
  changing
• 29:09
  things
• 29:10
  up.
• 29:10
  And
• 29:10
  what
• 29:10
  we
• 29:11
  remember
• 29:11
  from
• 29:11
  that
• 29:11
  appointment
• 29:12
  is
• 29:12
  that
• 29:12
  in
• 29:12
  three
• 29:12
  months,
• 29:13
  we
• 29:13
  would
• 29:13
  check
• 29:13
  up,
• 29:13
  see
• 29:13
  what's
• 29:14
  been
• 29:14
  going
• 29:14
  on.
• 29:14
  Has
• 29:15
  there
• 29:15
  been
• 29:15
  any
• 29:15
  more
• 29:16
  seizures?
• 29:16
  And
• 29:17
  then
• 29:17
  start
• 29:18
  doing
• 29:18
  whatever
• 29:19
  we
• 29:19
  could
• 29:19
  to
• 29:19
  figure
• 29:19
  out
• 29:20
  the
• 29:20
  cause.
• 29:21
  How
• 29:21
  can
• 29:21
  we
• 29:21
  get
• 29:21
  rid
• 29:21
  of
• 29:22
  them?
• 29:22
  Because
• 29:22
  every
• 29:22
  time
• 29:23
  I'm
• 29:23
  having
• 29:23
  a
• 29:23
  seizure,
• 29:23
  I
• 29:24
  can't
• 29:24
  drive.
• 29:24
  I
• 29:25
  can't
• 29:25
  drive
• 29:25
  for
• 29:25
  six
• 29:26
  months.
• 29:26
  And
• 29:27
  so
• 29:28
  at
• 29:28
  that
• 29:29
  point,
• 29:29
  by
• 29:30
  time
• 29:30
  we
• 29:30
  had
• 29:31
  seen
• 29:31
  her,
• 29:32
  I
• 29:33
  had
• 29:33
  still
• 29:33
  had
• 29:33
  a
• 29:33
  seizure
• 29:34
  since
• 29:34
  the
• 29:34
  hospital.
• 29:35
  And
• 29:36
  so
• 29:36
  my
• 29:36
  driving,
• 29:37
  that
• 29:37
  was,
• 29:38
  let's
• 29:39
  see,
• 29:41
  that
• 29:42
  was
• 29:43
  what,
• 29:43
  in
• 29:45
  September
• 29:46
  or
• 29:47
  something?
• 29:47
  Like
• 29:48
  in
• 29:48
  Sep.
• 29:48
  No,
• 29:49
  September,
• 29:49
  October.
• 29:50
  Then
• 29:51
  like
• 29:51
  October,
• 29:52
  October,
• 29:53
  November,
• 29:53
  something.
• 29:54
  Regardless,
• 29:54
  my
• 29:55
  driving
• 29:55
  had
• 29:55
  been
• 29:55
  provoked
• 29:56
  it
• 29:56
  until
• 29:56
  well
• 29:56
  into
• 29:57
  the
• 29:57
  next
• 29:57
  year.
• 29:58
  So
• 29:58
  that's
• 29:58
  also
• 29:58
  really
• 29:58
  stressful.
• 29:59
  I
• 29:59
  have
• 29:59
  kids
• 29:59
  to
• 29:59
  drive
• 30:00
  around.
• 30:01
  Being
• 30:01
  on
• 30:01
  the
• 30:01
  Keppra,
• 30:02
  it,
• 30:02
  it
• 30:02
  just
• 30:03
  affects
• 30:03
  your
• 30:03
  brain
• 30:04
  so
• 30:04
  much
• 30:04
  too
• 30:05
  that
• 30:06
  I
• 30:07
  couldn't
• 30:08
  function
• 30:09
  and
• 30:10
  no
• 30:10
  one
• 30:10
  really
• 30:10
  knew
• 30:10
  what
• 30:11
  was
• 30:11
  causing
• 30:11
  the
• 30:11
  seizures
• 30:11
  and
• 30:12
  when
• 30:12
  they
• 30:12
  would
• 30:12
  happen.
• 30:12
  And
• 30:13
  so
• 30:13
  my
• 30:13
  mom
• 30:14
  was
• 30:14
  at
• 30:15
  my
• 30:15
  house
• 30:15
  every
• 30:15
  day,
• 30:16
  like
• 30:16
  basically
• 30:16
  taking
• 30:17
  care
• 30:17
  of
• 30:17
  me
• 30:17
  and
• 30:17
  Nora
• 30:18
  because
• 30:19
  I
• 30:19
  was
• 30:19
  a
• 30:19
  ticking
• 30:20
  time
• 30:20
  mom,
• 30:20
  couldn't
• 30:21
  leave
• 30:21
  the
• 30:21
  house,
• 30:21
  didn't
• 30:21
  know
• 30:22
  what
• 30:22
  was
• 30:22
  going
• 30:22
  on
• 30:23
  half
• 30:23
  the
• 30:24
  time.
• 30:25
  So
• 30:25
  we
• 30:26
  go
• 30:26
  to
• 30:26
  the
• 30:26
  doctor
• 30:26
  and
• 30:27
  she
• 30:27
  spends
• 30:27
  five
• 30:28
  minutes
• 30:28
  with
• 30:28
  us
• 30:28
  in
• 30:28
  the
• 30:29
  room
• 30:29
  at
• 30:29
  our
• 30:29
  follow
• 30:29
  up
• 30:30
  appointment
• 30:30
  and
• 30:30
  says,
• 30:30
  great,
• 30:31
  stay
• 30:31
  on
• 30:31
  these
• 30:32
  meds.
• 30:33
  You
• 30:33
  know,
• 30:33
  we'll
• 30:34
  see
• 30:34
  you,
• 30:34
  we'll
• 30:34
  see
• 30:35
  in
• 30:35
  a
• 30:35
  while.
• 30:35
  And
• 30:35
  I,
• 30:35
  I
• 30:36
  think,
• 30:36
  let
• 30:36
  me
• 30:37
  correct.
• 30:37
  I
• 30:37
  don't
• 30:37
  think
• 30:37
  we,
• 30:38
  we
• 30:38
  did.
• 30:38
  We
• 30:38
  saw
• 30:38
  her
• 30:39
  in
• 30:39
  a
• 30:39
  month
• 30:39
  after
• 30:39
  being
• 30:40
  on
• 30:40
  the
• 30:40
  meds.
• 30:41
  Not,
• 30:41
  not
• 30:41
  multiple
• 30:42
  months.
• 30:42
  It
• 30:42
  was,
• 30:43
  we
• 30:43
  saw
• 30:43
  her
• 30:43
  about
• 30:43
  a
• 30:44
  month
• 30:44
  after
• 30:44
  the
• 30:44
  initial
• 30:45
  med
• 30:45
  change
• 30:46
  and
• 30:46
  meeting
• 30:46
  her,
• 30:47
  saw
• 30:48
  her
• 30:48
  for
• 30:49
  the
• 30:49
  five
• 30:49
  minutes
• 30:49
  and
• 30:50
  then
• 30:50
  she
• 30:50
  was
• 30:50
  like,
• 30:51
  all
• 30:51
  right,
• 30:51
  cool,
• 30:51
  we'll
• 30:51
  see
• 30:51
  you
• 30:52
  in
• 30:52
  six
• 30:52
  months.
• 30:52
  And
• 30:53
  Simon
• 30:53
  goes,
• 30:53
  whoa.
• 30:54
  I
• 30:55
  thought,
• 30:55
  like,
• 30:56
  this
• 30:56
  isn't
• 30:56
  ideal.
• 30:57
  Like,
• 30:57
  we're
• 30:57
  loaded
• 30:57
  up
• 30:57
  on
• 30:57
  meds,
• 30:58
  we
• 30:58
  don't
• 30:58
  know
• 30:58
  what's
• 30:59
  causing
• 30:59
  them.
• 30:59
  Like
• 31:00
  I
• 31:00
  thought
• 31:00
  the
• 31:00
  point
• 31:00
  was
• 31:00
  to
• 31:00
  figure
• 31:01
  out.
• 31:01
  And
• 31:01
  she
• 31:01
  was
• 31:01
  like,
• 31:02
  well,
• 31:03
  the
• 31:04
  meds
• 31:04
  have
• 31:05
  improved
• 31:05
  it.
• 31:06
  Maybe
• 31:06
  not
• 31:06
  perfectly,
• 31:06
  but
• 31:07
  they
• 31:07
  have
• 31:07
  improved
• 31:07
  it.
• 31:08
  So
• 31:08
  let's
• 31:08
  just
• 31:08
  stay
• 31:09
  on
• 31:09
  the
• 31:09
  meds
• 31:09
  and
• 31:10
  we'll
• 31:11
  reevaluate
• 31:11
  in
• 31:11
  six
• 31:12
  months.
• 31:12
  I
• 31:12
  remember
• 31:14
  just
• 31:15
  kind
• 31:15
  of
• 31:15
  being
• 31:15
  like
• 31:16
  numb
• 31:16
  and
• 31:16
  not.
• 31:17
  I
• 31:17
  don't
• 31:17
  think
• 31:17
  I
• 31:17
  really
• 31:17
  had
• 31:17
  an
• 31:18
  opinion.
• 31:18
  And
• 31:18
  Simon
• 31:18
  was
• 31:19
  very,
• 31:19
  very,
• 31:19
  very
• 31:20
  adamant
• 31:20
  that
• 31:21
  that's
• 31:21
  not
• 31:22
  acceptable
• 31:22
  and
• 31:22
  that's
• 31:22
  not
• 31:22
  what
• 31:22
  we're
• 31:23
  doing.
• 31:23
  We're
• 31:23
  going
• 31:23
  to
• 31:23
  know
• 31:24
  what's
• 31:24
  going
• 31:24
  on
• 31:24
  and
• 31:24
  we're
• 31:24
  going
• 31:24
  to
• 31:25
  figure
• 31:25
  out
• 31:25
  how
• 31:25
  to
• 31:25
  solve
• 31:25
  it.
• 31:26
  And
• 31:26
  so
• 31:26
  I'm
• 31:26
  really
• 31:27
  thankful
• 31:27
  that
• 31:27
  he
• 31:28
  is,
• 31:29
  you
• 31:29
  know,
• 31:30
  just
• 31:31
  when
• 31:31
  he
• 31:31
  wants
• 31:31
  something,
• 31:32
  he's
• 31:32
  going
• 31:32
  to
• 31:32
  find
• 31:32
  a
• 31:32
  way
• 31:32
  to
• 31:32
  get
• 31:33
  it.
• 31:33
  And
• 31:33
  that's
• 31:33
  just
• 31:33
  how
• 31:33
  he
• 31:34
  is.
• 31:34
  And
• 31:35
  so
• 31:35
  he
• 31:35
  wanted
• 31:35
  to
• 31:35
  know
• 31:35
  what
• 31:35
  was
• 31:35
  wrong
• 31:36
  with
• 31:36
  me
• 31:36
  and
• 31:36
  he
• 31:36
  wanted
• 31:36
  to
• 31:36
  help
• 31:37
  me
• 31:37
  get
• 31:37
  better.
• 31:38
  So
• 31:38
  we
• 31:38
  talk
• 31:39
  to
• 31:39
  friends
• 31:40
  and
• 31:40
  we
• 31:40
  find
• 31:41
  other
• 31:41
  neurologists
• 31:42
  that
• 31:43
  we
• 31:43
  know,
• 31:43
  people
• 31:43
  that
• 31:44
  have
• 31:44
  used
• 31:44
  them
• 31:45
  and
• 31:45
  we,
• 31:46
  that
• 31:47
  was
• 31:47
  probably
• 31:47
  a
• 31:48
  few
• 31:48
  months,
• 31:49
  a
• 31:49
  couple
• 31:49
  months.
• 31:49
  Few
• 31:50
  months.
• 31:50
  Definitely.
• 31:51
  I
• 31:51
  mean,
• 31:52
  probably
• 31:52
  within
• 31:53
  two
• 31:53
  months
• 31:53
  or
• 31:53
  whatever
• 31:54
  of
• 31:55
  seeing
• 31:55
  that
• 31:56
  Last
• 31:56
  doctor
• 31:56
  we
• 31:57
  see,
• 31:57
  the
• 31:57
  new,
• 31:58
  this,
• 31:58
  this
• 31:58
  neurologist
• 31:59
  and
• 31:59
  he
• 31:59
  spends,
• 32:00
  I
• 32:00
  mean,
• 32:00
  an
• 32:00
  hour
• 32:01
  and
• 32:01
  a
• 32:01
  half
• 32:01
  in
• 32:02
  the
• 32:02
  room
• 32:02
  with
• 32:02
  us
• 32:02
  for
• 32:02
  our
• 32:03
  first
• 32:03
  appointment,
• 32:04
  going
• 32:04
  over
• 32:04
  each
• 32:05
  symptom,
• 32:05
  like
• 32:06
  what
• 32:06
  happened,
• 32:07
  like
• 32:07
  history,
• 32:08
  like,
• 32:08
  what
• 32:08
  does
• 32:08
  it
• 32:08
  look
• 32:09
  like,
• 32:09
  what
• 32:09
  does
• 32:09
  it
• 32:09
  feel
• 32:10
  like?
• 32:10
  Like
• 32:10
  just
• 32:11
  all
• 32:12
  these
• 32:12
  things.
• 32:12
  And
• 32:13
  I
• 32:13
  remember
• 32:13
  in
• 32:13
  that
• 32:13
  appointment
• 32:14
  just
• 32:14
  feeling
• 32:14
  like,
• 32:14
  oh
• 32:15
  my
• 32:15
  gosh,
• 32:15
  we
• 32:15
  are
• 32:15
  going
• 32:15
  to
• 32:15
  figure
• 32:16
  out
• 32:16
  what's
• 32:16
  wrong,
• 32:17
  we're
• 32:17
  going
• 32:17
  to
• 32:17
  do
• 32:17
  it.
• 32:18
  And
• 32:18
  he,
• 32:20
  and
• 32:20
  I,
• 32:20
  I
• 32:20
  told
• 32:21
  him,
• 32:21
  look,
• 32:21
  I've
• 32:22
  done
• 32:22
  a
• 32:22
  lot
• 32:22
  of
• 32:22
  research.
• 32:23
  This
• 32:23
  is
• 32:24
  going
• 32:24
  to
• 32:24
  be
• 32:24
  one
• 32:24
  of
• 32:24
  two
• 32:24
  things.
• 32:25
  I'm
• 32:25
  either
• 32:25
  having
• 32:27
  frontal
• 32:27
  lobe
• 32:28
  seizures,
• 32:31
  XYZ
• 32:32
  or
• 32:33
  I'm
• 32:33
  having
• 32:34
  what
• 32:34
  is
• 32:34
  called
• 32:35
  PNEs,
• 32:36
  psychological
• 32:37
  non
• 32:37
  epileptic
• 32:38
  seizures.
• 32:38
  And
• 32:38
  I
• 32:39
  was
• 32:39
  like,
• 32:39
  and
• 32:39
  please,
• 32:39
  like,
• 32:41
  don't
• 32:41
  make
• 32:41
  me
• 32:42
  crazy,
• 32:42
  like
• 32:42
  I,
• 32:42
  I
• 32:43
  don't
• 32:43
  want
• 32:43
  to
• 32:43
  be
• 32:43
  crazy.
• 32:43
  And
• 32:43
  he
• 32:43
  goes,
• 32:44
  I,
• 32:45
  regardless,
• 32:45
  you're
• 32:45
  not
• 32:46
  crazy,
• 32:46
  but
• 32:46
  I
• 32:47
  really
• 32:47
  think
• 32:47
  that
• 32:48
  you're
• 32:48
  correct.
• 32:49
  It's
• 32:49
  not
• 32:50
  going
• 32:50
  to
• 32:50
  be
• 32:50
  pnes,
• 32:51
  it's
• 32:52
  going
• 32:52
  to
• 32:52
  be
• 32:53
  frontal
• 32:53
  lobe
• 32:54
  seizures.
• 32:54
  Because
• 32:54
  everything
• 32:55
  is
• 32:55
  presenting
• 32:55
  in
• 32:56
  the
• 32:56
  same,
• 32:56
  the
• 32:57
  exact
• 32:57
  what
• 32:57
  it
• 32:58
  would
• 32:58
  look
• 32:58
  like
• 32:58
  and
• 32:58
  how
• 32:59
  you
• 32:59
  feel.
• 33:01
  But
• 33:02
  as
• 33:02
  confident
• 33:03
  as
• 33:03
  he
• 33:03
  was,
• 33:03
  he
• 33:03
  did
• 33:03
  give
• 33:04
  us
• 33:04
  the
• 33:04
  option
• 33:05
  if
• 33:05
  we
• 33:05
  would
• 33:05
  like
• 33:05
  to
• 33:06
  do
• 33:06
  an
• 33:06
  at
• 33:06
  home
• 33:07
  EEG
• 33:07
  where
• 33:07
  they
• 33:08
  hook
• 33:08
  me
• 33:08
  up
• 33:08
  for
• 33:08
  five
• 33:09
  days
• 33:09
  and
• 33:09
  I'm
• 33:09
  on
• 33:10
  a
• 33:10
  camera,
• 33:10
  I'm
• 33:11
  on
• 33:11
  chest
• 33:12
  monitors,
• 33:12
  brain
• 33:13
  monitors,
• 33:14
  and
• 33:14
  basically
• 33:14
  just
• 33:15
  can't
• 33:15
  leave
• 33:15
  the
• 33:16
  house.
• 33:16
  And
• 33:17
  I'm
• 33:17
  monitored
• 33:18
  on
• 33:18
  camera
• 33:18
  for
• 33:18
  five
• 33:19
  days,
• 33:19
  sleeping
• 33:20
  all
• 33:20
  the
• 33:20
  things.
• 33:21
  Within
• 33:21
  those
• 33:21
  five
• 33:21
  days
• 33:22
  I
• 33:22
  had
• 33:23
  multiple
• 33:24
  seizures.
• 33:25
  And
• 33:25
  so
• 33:26
  as
• 33:26
  frustrating
• 33:26
  as
• 33:27
  it
• 33:27
  was,
• 33:28
  it
• 33:29
  was
• 33:29
  good
• 33:30
  because
• 33:30
  now
• 33:30
  it's
• 33:31
  captured,
• 33:31
  the
• 33:31
  waves
• 33:32
  are
• 33:32
  being
• 33:32
  captured.
• 33:33
  My,
• 33:33
  the
• 33:33
  image
• 33:34
  of
• 33:34
  what's
• 33:34
  happening
• 33:34
  to
• 33:35
  me
• 33:35
  is
• 33:35
  being
• 33:35
  captured.
• 33:36
  So
• 33:36
  this
• 33:37
  is
• 33:37
  great.
• 33:38
  I
• 33:38
  get
• 33:38
  sent
• 33:39
  off
• 33:39
  and
• 33:39
  evaluated
• 33:40
  and
• 33:41
  maybe,
• 33:43
  maybe
• 33:44
  seven
• 33:44
  days
• 33:44
  later,
• 33:44
  five,
• 33:44
  seven
• 33:45
  days
• 33:45
  later,
• 33:46
  I
• 33:46
  get
• 33:46
  the
• 33:47
  call
• 33:47
  that,
• 33:48
  hey,
• 33:49
  I
• 33:49
  got
• 33:49
  to
• 33:49
  see
• 33:50
  the
• 33:50
  episodes,
• 33:50
  I
• 33:51
  got
• 33:51
  to
• 33:51
  see
• 33:52
  the
• 33:52
  brain
• 33:53
  length
• 33:54
  and
• 33:54
  I
• 33:54
  have
• 33:55
  to
• 33:55
  say
• 33:55
  it's
• 33:56
  non
• 33:56
  epileptic
• 33:57
  seizures.
• 33:59
  Non
• 33:59
  epileptic.
• 34:01
  So
• 34:01
  what
• 34:01
  does
• 34:02
  that
• 34:02
  mean?
• 34:03
  That
• 34:03
  means
• 34:04
  that
• 34:04
  there
• 34:04
  is
• 34:05
  nothing
• 34:05
  neurologically
• 34:06
  causing
• 34:07
  the
• 34:07
  seizures
• 34:09
  and
• 34:09
  that
• 34:10
  there's
• 34:11
  likely
• 34:11
  going
• 34:11
  to
• 34:11
  be
• 34:12
  a
• 34:12
  psychological
• 34:13
  cause.
• 34:14
  And
• 34:14
  I
• 34:15
  said,
• 34:15
  okay,
• 34:16
  so
• 34:16
  you're
• 34:16
  telling
• 34:16
  me
• 34:16
  I'm
• 34:16
  crazy?
• 34:18
  And
• 34:18
  he
• 34:18
  goes,
• 34:19
  you're
• 34:19
  not
• 34:19
  crazy.
• 34:21
  This,
• 34:22
  I
• 34:22
  have
• 34:22
  seen
• 34:22
  it
• 34:23
  before.
• 34:23
  And
• 34:25
  you
• 34:25
  know,
• 34:25
  I,
• 34:26
  I
• 34:26
  saw
• 34:26
  it
• 34:26
  like,
• 34:27
  you're
• 34:27
  not
• 34:27
  crazy.
• 34:27
  It's,
• 34:28
  it's
• 34:28
  happening.
• 34:29
  And
• 34:29
  he
• 34:30
  recommended
• 34:30
  that
• 34:31
  I
• 34:31
  go
• 34:31
  see
• 34:31
  a
• 34:31
  specific
• 34:32
  type
• 34:32
  of
• 34:33
  therapist
• 34:34
  to
• 34:35
  work
• 34:35
  on
• 34:35
  some
• 34:35
  psychological
• 34:38
  healing
• 34:38
  options.
• 34:41
  So
• 34:42
  that
• 34:43
  news
• 34:43
  was
• 34:44
  devastating
• 34:45
  to
• 34:45
  me.
• 34:45
  Like
• 34:46
  I,
• 34:46
  I
• 34:46
  literally
• 34:48
  cried
• 34:49
  non
• 34:49
  stop
• 34:49
  for
• 34:50
  days
• 34:51
  because
• 34:51
  I
• 34:51
  felt
• 34:52
  like,
• 34:52
  oh
• 34:52
  my
• 34:53
  gosh,
• 34:53
  I
• 34:54
  have
• 34:54
  been
• 34:54
  affected
• 34:55
  at
• 34:55
  this
• 34:55
  point.
• 34:56
  For
• 34:57
  six
• 34:57
  months
• 34:58
  complete,
• 34:58
  like
• 34:58
  not
• 34:58
  driving,
• 34:59
  not
• 35:00
  feeling
• 35:01
  like
• 35:01
  I
• 35:01
  have
• 35:01
  a
• 35:01
  life
• 35:02
  for
• 35:03
  six
• 35:03
  months
• 35:04
  to
• 35:05
  be
• 35:05
  told
• 35:05
  that
• 35:06
  it's
• 35:06
  basically
• 35:06
  in
• 35:07
  my
• 35:07
  head,
• 35:08
  like
• 35:08
  that's,
• 35:09
  it's
• 35:10
  wild.
• 35:11
  And
• 35:12
  in
• 35:12
  the
• 35:12
  time
• 35:12
  that
• 35:13
  we
• 35:13
  were
• 35:13
  waiting
• 35:13
  on
• 35:13
  a
• 35:14
  diagnosis,
• 35:14
  like,
• 35:15
  I
• 35:15
  was
• 35:15
  so
• 35:15
  depressed.
• 35:16
  Also
• 35:16
  the
• 35:16
  seizure
• 35:17
  medicines
• 35:17
  don't,
• 35:18
  you
• 35:18
  know,
• 35:19
  really,
• 35:20
  you
• 35:20
  get
• 35:20
  really
• 35:21
  depressed.
• 35:22
  And
• 35:22
  I
• 35:22
  remember
• 35:23
  I
• 35:23
  was
• 35:23
  recommended
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  get
• 35:25
  find
• 35:25
  some
• 35:26
  like
• 35:26
  seizure
• 35:26
  support
• 35:27
  groups
• 35:27
  and
• 35:28
  I
• 35:28
  did
• 35:29
  that
• 35:29
  on
• 35:29
  Facebook.
• 35:29
  But
• 35:30
  every
• 35:30
  time
• 35:30
  I
• 35:30
  would
• 35:30
  see
• 35:30
  someone
• 35:31
  post
• 35:31
  and
• 35:31
  every
• 35:31
  time
• 35:32
  I
• 35:32
  would
• 35:32
  see
• 35:32
  something,
• 35:32
  I'd
• 35:32
  get
• 35:33
  angry.
• 35:34
  Like,
• 35:34
  angry
• 35:35
  like
• 35:36
  you
• 35:36
  don't
• 35:36
  know
• 35:36
  what
• 35:37
  I'm
• 35:37
  going
• 35:37
  through.
• 35:37
  Even
• 35:38
  though
• 35:38
  everyone's
• 35:38
  there
• 35:38
  because
• 35:38
  they
• 35:39
  have
• 35:39
  seizures.
• 35:40
  Like
• 35:41
  you
• 35:41
  don't
• 35:42
  know
• 35:42
  what
• 35:42
  it's
• 35:42
  like.
• 35:42
  Like
• 35:43
  you're,
• 35:44
  you
• 35:44
  know.
• 35:46
  But
• 35:46
  that's
• 35:46
  not
• 35:47
  the
• 35:47
  case.
• 35:47
  It's.
• 35:48
  It's
• 35:48
  there
• 35:48
  for
• 35:48
  support
• 35:49
  because
• 35:49
  everyone's
• 35:49
  experiencing
• 35:50
  the
• 35:50
  same
• 35:50
  things.
• 35:51
  And
• 35:51
  even
• 35:52
  more
• 35:52
  so
• 35:52
  after
• 35:53
  I
• 35:53
  got
• 35:53
  the
• 35:54
  diagnosis,
• 35:55
  I
• 35:55
  got
• 35:55
  even
• 35:55
  more
• 35:55
  angry
• 35:56
  with
• 35:56
  that
• 35:56
  group
• 35:56
  and
• 35:57
  was
• 35:57
  like,
• 35:58
  yeah,
• 35:58
  y'all
• 35:59
  don't
• 35:59
  know
• 35:59
  what
• 35:59
  I'm
• 35:59
  going
• 35:59
  through.
• 36:00
  And
• 36:00
  I
• 36:00
  left
• 36:00
  the
• 36:00
  group
• 36:01
  and
• 36:01
  I
• 36:01
  just
• 36:02
  was
• 36:02
  in
• 36:03
  just
• 36:03
  this
• 36:03
  dark,
• 36:03
  dark
• 36:04
  hole.
• 36:05
  I
• 36:05
  was
• 36:05
  so
• 36:05
  depressed,
• 36:06
  like
• 36:06
  crying
• 36:07
  all
• 36:07
  the
• 36:07
  time
• 36:07
  and
• 36:07
  just
• 36:08
  felt
• 36:08
  crazy.
• 36:08
  And
• 36:08
  it
• 36:08
  was
• 36:09
  embarrassing.
• 36:09
  It
• 36:09
  was
• 36:09
  embarrassing
• 36:11
  when
• 36:11
  people
• 36:12
  really
• 36:12
  close
• 36:13
  to
• 36:13
  me
• 36:13
  would,
• 36:14
  would
• 36:14
  know
• 36:15
  what
• 36:15
  I
• 36:16
  was
• 36:16
  actually
• 36:16
  diagnosed
• 36:17
  with
• 36:17
  and
• 36:17
  what
• 36:17
  that
• 36:18
  means.
• 36:19
  So
• 36:20
  what
• 36:20
  that
• 36:20
  means
• 36:21
  is
• 36:21
  that
• 36:21
  they
• 36:21
  are
• 36:21
  psychological
• 36:22
  non
• 36:22
  epileptic
• 36:23
  seizures,
• 36:24
  meaning
• 36:25
  the.
• 36:27
  And
• 36:27
  there's
• 36:28
  not
• 36:28
  a
• 36:28
  lot
• 36:28
  of
• 36:28
  knowledge
• 36:28
  on
• 36:28
  it.
• 36:29
  So
• 36:30
  other
• 36:31
  than
• 36:31
  seeing
• 36:31
  a
• 36:31
  psychologist.
• 36:32
  So
• 36:32
  I
• 36:33
  start
• 36:33
  seeing
• 36:34
  a
• 36:34
  psychologist
• 36:35
  that
• 36:35
  specializes
• 36:36
  and
• 36:37
  she
• 36:37
  can
• 36:37
  do
• 36:37
  emdr,
• 36:38
  which
• 36:38
  is
• 36:39
  most
• 36:39
  commonly
• 36:39
  known
• 36:41
  and
• 36:42
  a
• 36:42
  thing
• 36:42
  called
• 36:43
  brain
• 36:43
  spotting.
• 36:44
  Brain
• 36:45
  spotting
• 36:45
  is
• 36:46
  what
• 36:46
  seemed
• 36:47
  less
• 36:47
  invasive
• 36:49
  and
• 36:49
  was
• 36:50
  highly
• 36:50
  recommended
• 36:51
  for
• 36:51
  me.
• 36:52
  And
• 36:53
  so
• 36:53
  this
• 36:53
  sounds
• 36:53
  like
• 36:53
  all
• 36:54
  wild.
• 36:54
  And
• 36:54
  we
• 36:54
  go
• 36:54
  see
• 36:55
  this
• 36:55
  therapist.
• 36:55
  I
• 36:55
  just
• 36:55
  remember
• 36:56
  being
• 36:56
  like
• 36:57
  this
• 36:57
  ball.
• 36:57
  Like
• 36:58
  I'm
• 36:58
  just
• 36:58
  on
• 36:58
  her
• 36:59
  couch
• 36:59
  profusely
• 37:00
  sweating,
• 37:00
  trembling
• 37:01
  and
• 37:02
  really
• 37:02
  crying
• 37:02
  the
• 37:03
  whole
• 37:03
  time
• 37:03
  during
• 37:03
  this
• 37:03
  intake.
• 37:04
  Because
• 37:04
  I'm
• 37:04
  like,
• 37:04
  yeah,
• 37:05
  you
• 37:05
  can't
• 37:05
  help
• 37:05
  me.
• 37:05
  Like,
• 37:05
  I'm
• 37:06
  just
• 37:06
  crazy.
• 37:06
  I'm
• 37:06
  broken.
• 37:06
  Like,
• 37:07
  I
• 37:07
  didn't.
• 37:07
  This
• 37:07
  is
• 37:07
  stupid.
• 37:08
  I
• 37:08
  don't
• 37:08
  know
• 37:08
  why
• 37:08
  I'm
• 37:08
  here.
• 37:09
  And
• 37:10
  so
• 37:11
  she
• 37:11
  got
• 37:12
  to
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  point
• 37:12
  where
• 37:12
  she
• 37:12
  goes,
• 37:13
  would
• 37:13
  you
• 37:13
  be
• 37:14
  more
• 37:14
  comfortable
• 37:14
  if
• 37:14
  your
• 37:14
  husband
• 37:15
  was
• 37:15
  in
• 37:15
  here?
• 37:15
  And
• 37:15
  I
• 37:15
  was
• 37:16
  like,
• 37:16
  yes,
• 37:16
  yes,
• 37:16
  yes,
• 37:16
  I
• 37:17
  would.
• 37:17
  And
• 37:17
  so
• 37:18
  she
• 37:18
  called
• 37:18
  Simon
• 37:18
  and
• 37:18
  Simon
• 37:19
  sitting
• 37:19
  next
• 37:19
  to
• 37:19
  me
• 37:19
  and
• 37:20
  he
• 37:20
  just,
• 37:20
  you
• 37:21
  guys
• 37:21
  know
• 37:21
  if
• 37:22
  you,
• 37:22
  you've
• 37:22
  seen
• 37:22
  us
• 37:22
  together,
• 37:23
  like
• 37:23
  he
• 37:23
  can,
• 37:23
  he
• 37:23
  just
• 37:24
  puts
• 37:24
  his
• 37:24
  hand
• 37:24
  on
• 37:24
  my
• 37:24
  leg
• 37:25
  or
• 37:25
  something
• 37:25
  and
• 37:25
  like
• 37:26
  I
• 37:26
  can
• 37:26
  start
• 37:26
  like
• 37:26
  calming
• 37:26
  down
• 37:27
  and
• 37:27
  breathing.
• 37:28
  And
• 37:28
  so
• 37:29
  she
• 37:30
  basically
• 37:30
  says,
• 37:31
  hey,
• 37:31
  like
• 37:32
  what
• 37:33
  I've
• 37:34
  already
• 37:34
  noticed
• 37:34
  in
• 37:34
  our
• 37:34
  intake
• 37:35
  from
• 37:36
  the
• 37:36
  forms
• 37:36
  that
• 37:36
  were
• 37:36
  pre
• 37:37
  filled
• 37:37
  out.
• 37:37
  And
• 37:37
  from
• 37:37
  our
• 37:38
  conversation
• 37:38
  this
• 37:39
  hour,
• 37:39
  hour
• 37:40
  and
• 37:40
  a
• 37:40
  half,
• 37:41
  there's
• 37:42
  some
• 37:42
  significant
• 37:42
  traumas
• 37:43
  going
• 37:43
  on.
• 37:44
  And
• 37:44
  that
• 37:44
  trauma
• 37:46
  gets
• 37:46
  to
• 37:46
  the
• 37:47
  point
• 37:47
  where
• 37:47
  it
• 37:48
  can
• 37:48
  just
• 37:48
  shut
• 37:48
  down
• 37:49
  the
• 37:49
  brain,
• 37:50
  which,
• 37:51
  I
• 37:51
  don't
• 37:51
  know,
• 37:52
  a
• 37:52
  lot
• 37:52
  of
• 37:52
  times
• 37:53
  it's
• 37:53
  not,
• 37:55
  we
• 37:56
  all
• 37:56
  know
• 37:56
  a
• 37:56
  fight
• 37:57
  flight
• 37:57
  freeze.
• 37:58
  Right.
• 37:59
  Well,
• 37:59
  there's
• 37:59
  also
• 38:00
  two
• 38:00
  others
• 38:00
  that
• 38:01
  I
• 38:01
  hadn't,
• 38:01
  I
• 38:01
  hadn't
• 38:01
  really
• 38:02
  ever
• 38:02
  heard
• 38:02
  before.
• 38:02
  It's
• 38:03
  called
• 38:03
  Fawn
• 38:04
  and
• 38:04
  flop.
• 38:05
  So
• 38:05
  that's
• 38:05
  also
• 38:06
  part
• 38:06
  of
• 38:06
  a
• 38:06
  trauma
• 38:07
  response.
• 38:08
  My
• 38:08
  body
• 38:09
  definitely
• 38:09
  has
• 38:09
  gotten
• 38:10
  to
• 38:10
  the
• 38:10
  point
• 38:10
  where
• 38:10
  it
• 38:11
  flops.
• 38:11
  So
• 38:12
  my
• 38:12
  brain
• 38:12
  is
• 38:12
  just
• 38:13
  as
• 38:13
  she
• 38:13
  described
• 38:14
  it.
• 38:14
  It's
• 38:14
  like
• 38:14
  a
• 38:14
  ball
• 38:14
  of
• 38:14
  yarn
• 38:15
  and
• 38:15
  it's
• 38:15
  so,
• 38:15
  so
• 38:15
  tight
• 38:16
  that
• 38:16
  it
• 38:16
  can't
• 38:16
  work
• 38:16
  out
• 38:17
  any
• 38:17
  of
• 38:17
  the
• 38:17
  problems,
• 38:18
  any
• 38:18
  traumas.
• 38:19
  It's
• 38:19
  just
• 38:19
  wound
• 38:20
  tight
• 38:20
  and
• 38:20
  it
• 38:20
  can't
• 38:21
  process
• 38:21
  anything
• 38:22
  else.
• 38:22
  So
• 38:22
  if
• 38:22
  anything
• 38:23
  else
• 38:23
  goes
• 38:23
  wrong
• 38:23
  or
• 38:24
  if
• 38:24
  anything
• 38:25
  causes
• 38:25
  any
• 38:25
  sort
• 38:25
  of
• 38:26
  stress,
• 38:26
  the
• 38:26
  body
• 38:27
  flops,
• 38:27
  the
• 38:27
  brain
• 38:28
  turns
• 38:28
  off.
• 38:30
  And
• 38:30
  so
• 38:31
  it
• 38:32
  felt
• 38:32
  good
• 38:32
  to
• 38:33
  hear,
• 38:33
  like,
• 38:33
  okay,
• 38:34
  it
• 38:34
  sounds
• 38:34
  like
• 38:34
  she
• 38:35
  knows
• 38:35
  what
• 38:35
  she's
• 38:35
  doing.
• 38:36
  This
• 38:36
  brain
• 38:37
  spotting
• 38:37
  sounds
• 38:38
  insane.
• 38:38
  But
• 38:39
  you
• 38:39
  know,
• 38:40
  I
• 38:40
  was
• 38:40
  so
• 38:40
  depressed,
• 38:41
  I
• 38:41
  was
• 38:41
  like,
• 38:41
  whatever,
• 38:41
  I'll,
• 38:42
  I'll
• 38:42
  do
• 38:42
  whatever.
• 38:42
  I,
• 38:43
  at
• 38:43
  this
• 38:43
  point
• 38:43
  I
• 38:43
  just,
• 38:43
  I
• 38:44
  don't
• 38:44
  care.
• 38:45
  I
• 38:45
  was
• 38:46
  off
• 38:46
  of
• 38:46
  the
• 38:46
  Keppra,
• 38:47
  off
• 38:47
  of
• 38:47
  the
• 38:47
  other
• 38:47
  seizure
• 38:48
  medicine,
• 38:48
  and
• 38:48
  now
• 38:49
  I
• 38:49
  was
• 38:49
  just
• 38:49
  on
• 38:52
  anxiety
• 38:52
  meds,
• 38:52
  which
• 38:53
  ended
• 38:53
  up
• 38:53
  getting
• 38:53
  like,
• 38:54
  bumped
• 38:54
  up
• 38:54
  to
• 38:54
  like
• 38:54
  the
• 38:54
  highest
• 38:55
  level
• 38:57
  that
• 38:57
  you
• 38:57
  can
• 38:57
  get.
• 38:58
  And
• 39:01
  after,
• 39:03
  after
• 39:04
  about
• 39:04
  six
• 39:04
  months,
• 39:07
  maybe
• 39:08
  less
• 39:08
  actually.
• 39:09
  I
• 39:09
  mean
• 39:09
  it
• 39:09
  might
• 39:09
  have
• 39:09
  been
• 39:09
  like
• 39:10
  four
• 39:10
  months
• 39:10
  of
• 39:10
  doing
• 39:11
  consistent
• 39:12
  brain
• 39:12
  spotting,
• 39:13
  which
• 39:13
  brain
• 39:14
  spotting
• 39:14
  is
• 39:14
  kind
• 39:14
  of
• 39:15
  where
• 39:15
  you
• 39:15
  go
• 39:15
  into
• 39:15
  this
• 39:16
  trans,
• 39:17
  like
• 39:17
  state.
• 39:18
  You
• 39:18
  activate
• 39:19
  both
• 39:19
  sides
• 39:20
  of
• 39:20
  your
• 39:20
  brain
• 39:21
  and
• 39:22
  you
• 39:22
  allow
• 39:23
  yourself
• 39:23
  to
• 39:23
  go
• 39:23
  into
• 39:23
  this
• 39:24
  transformation
• 39:24
  type
• 39:25
  state
• 39:25
  where
• 39:26
  your
• 39:27
  vision
• 39:27
  kind
• 39:27
  of
• 39:27
  like
• 39:28
  just
• 39:28
  blurs
• 39:28
  out
• 39:28
  and
• 39:29
  your
• 39:29
  brain
• 39:29
  just
• 39:29
  starts
• 39:30
  playing
• 39:30
  things
• 39:30
  in
• 39:30
  your
• 39:31
  head.
• 39:32
  So
• 39:33
  it
• 39:33
  could
• 39:33
  be,
• 39:37
  you
• 39:37
  know,
• 39:39
  the
• 39:39
  feeling
• 39:40
  of
• 39:40
  embarrassment.
• 39:41
  Like
• 39:41
  that
• 39:41
  was
• 39:42
  really,
• 39:42
  really
• 39:42
  heavy
• 39:42
  for
• 39:42
  the
• 39:43
  first
• 39:43
  time.
• 39:43
  Well,
• 39:44
  okay,
• 39:44
  like
• 39:45
  where
• 39:45
  is
• 39:45
  the
• 39:46
  feeling
• 39:46
  of
• 39:46
  embarrassment
• 39:47
  coming
• 39:47
  from
• 39:47
  and
• 39:47
  why?
• 39:48
  So
• 39:48
  then
• 39:48
  you
• 39:48
  would
• 39:48
  do
• 39:48
  a
• 39:48
  brain
• 39:49
  spotting
• 39:49
  session
• 39:49
  where
• 39:50
  like
• 39:50
  that
• 39:50
  was
• 39:50
  the
• 39:50
  thought
• 39:51
  in
• 39:51
  your
• 39:51
  mind.
• 39:52
  You
• 39:52
  go
• 39:52
  into
• 39:52
  this
• 39:53
  trans
• 39:54
  and
• 39:55
  like
• 39:55
  you're
• 39:55
  listening
• 39:56
  to
• 39:56
  like
• 39:56
  this
• 39:56
  music
• 39:56
  that
• 39:56
  activates
• 39:57
  both
• 39:57
  sides
• 39:57
  of
• 39:57
  your
• 39:57
  brain
• 39:58
  and
• 39:59
  you
• 39:59
  just
• 39:59
  start
• 40:00
  seeing.
• 40:00
  At
• 40:00
  least
• 40:00
  for
• 40:01
  me,
• 40:01
  I
• 40:01
  think
• 40:01
  it's
• 40:01
  a
• 40:01
  little
• 40:02
  different
• 40:02
  for
• 40:02
  people,
• 40:02
  but
• 40:02
  for
• 40:02
  me
• 40:03
  I
• 40:03
  start
• 40:03
  seeing
• 40:03
  images
• 40:03
  and
• 40:04
  like
• 40:04
  just
• 40:04
  kind
• 40:04
  of
• 40:04
  seeing
• 40:05
  movies
• 40:05
  like
• 40:05
  play
• 40:05
  out
• 40:05
  in
• 40:06
  my
• 40:06
  head.
• 40:07
  And
• 40:07
  the
• 40:07
  other
• 40:08
  unfortunate
• 40:08
  part
• 40:08
  is
• 40:09
  that
• 40:09
  afterwards
• 40:11
  I,
• 40:11
  I,
• 40:13
  it
• 40:13
  would,
• 40:14
  I
• 40:14
  would
• 40:14
  be
• 40:14
  a
• 40:14
  zombie
• 40:14
  for
• 40:15
  the
• 40:15
  next
• 40:15
  two
• 40:15
  days.
• 40:16
  Like,
• 40:16
  because
• 40:16
  your
• 40:17
  brain,
• 40:17
  after
• 40:17
  you're
• 40:17
  doing
• 40:17
  a
• 40:18
  brain
• 40:18
  spotting
• 40:18
  session
• 40:19
  is
• 40:19
  still
• 40:20
  unwinding
• 40:21
  and
• 40:21
  working
• 40:22
  out
• 40:22
  everything
• 40:23
  that
• 40:23
  it
• 40:23
  was
• 40:24
  trying
• 40:25
  to
• 40:25
  process
• 40:25
  while
• 40:26
  you
• 40:26
  were
• 40:26
  in
• 40:26
  the
• 40:26
  brain
• 40:26
  spotting
• 40:27
  session.
• 40:27
  So
• 40:28
  it
• 40:28
  was
• 40:28
  very
• 40:28
  hard.
• 40:29
  And
• 40:30
  for
• 40:30
  the
• 40:30
  first
• 40:31
  while
• 40:31
  I
• 40:31
  just
• 40:31
  felt
• 40:32
  more
• 40:32
  and
• 40:32
  more
• 40:32
  depressed
• 40:33
  because
• 40:33
  it's
• 40:33
  so
• 40:34
  much,
• 40:35
  it's
• 40:35
  just
• 40:36
  so
• 40:36
  much.
• 40:40
  So
• 40:42
  I
• 40:42
  keep
• 40:42
  up
• 40:42
  with
• 40:42
  the
• 40:42
  brain
• 40:43
  spotting
• 40:43
  because
• 40:44
  we
• 40:44
  did
• 40:44
  notice
• 40:45
  that
• 40:45
  slowly
• 40:46
  the
• 40:46
  seizures
• 40:46
  did
• 40:46
  stop
• 40:47
  because
• 40:47
  I
• 40:47
  was
• 40:47
  still
• 40:47
  having
• 40:47
  them.
• 40:49
  And
• 40:53
  I
• 40:54
  am
• 40:55
  not
• 40:57
  so
• 40:57
  embarrassed
• 40:58
  about
• 40:58
  it
• 40:58
  anymore
• 40:59
  that
• 40:59
  I
• 40:59
  can't
• 41:00
  talk
• 41:00
  about
• 41:00
  it.
• 41:01
  In
• 41:01
  fact,
• 41:02
  what
• 41:03
  I
• 41:03
  have
• 41:04
  learned
• 41:05
  is
• 41:06
  that
• 41:07
  I've
• 41:07
  learned
• 41:07
  a
• 41:08
  lot.
• 41:09
  I
• 41:13
  was
• 41:13
  this
• 41:13
  diagnosis
• 41:14
  extremely
• 41:15
  embarrassing
• 41:16
  and
• 41:16
  extremely
• 41:16
  hard
• 41:16
  to
• 41:17
  accept
• 41:17
  and
• 41:21
  be
• 41:21
  okay
• 41:21
  working
• 41:21
  with.
• 41:22
  Yes,
• 41:24
  but,
• 41:30
  but
• 41:31
  what
• 41:31
  Simon
• 41:32
  and
• 41:32
  I
• 41:32
  will
• 41:32
  both
• 41:32
  tell
• 41:33
  you
• 41:33
  is
• 41:33
  that
• 41:33
  it's
• 41:34
  honestly
• 41:34
  the
• 41:34
  best
• 41:34
  thing
• 41:35
  that
• 41:35
  has
• 41:35
  ever
• 41:35
  happened
• 41:37
  in
• 41:37
  our
• 41:37
  life
• 41:38
  because
• 41:40
  I'm
• 41:41
  going
• 41:41
  through
• 41:41
  this
• 41:41
  challenging
• 41:43
  health
• 41:44
  experience.
• 41:45
  Simon
• 41:45
  had
• 41:46
  his
• 41:46
  own
• 41:47
  challenges
• 41:49
  on
• 41:49
  his
• 41:49
  side
• 41:49
  of
• 41:49
  the
• 41:49
  family.
• 41:50
  That
• 41:50
  was
• 41:50
  really,
• 41:51
  really,
• 41:52
  if
• 41:53
  you
• 41:53
  know
• 41:53
  us,
• 41:53
  you
• 41:53
  know
• 41:54
  how
• 41:55
  very
• 41:55
  drama
• 41:56
  filled
• 41:56
  and
• 41:56
  drastic
• 41:57
  and
• 41:57
  problematic
• 41:58
  that
• 41:58
  was.
• 41:58
  And
• 41:59
  we
• 41:59
  were
• 41:59
  going
• 41:59
  through
• 41:59
  this
• 41:59
  at
• 41:59
  the
• 42:00
  same
• 42:00
  time.
• 42:00
  And
• 42:00
  I
• 42:01
  was
• 42:01
  able
• 42:01
  to
• 42:01
  be
• 42:01
  there
• 42:01
  for
• 42:02
  him
• 42:02
  as
• 42:02
  he's
• 42:03
  trying
• 42:03
  to
• 42:03
  process
• 42:04
  the
• 42:05
  major
• 42:05
  changes
• 42:07
  in
• 42:07
  his
• 42:07
  life
• 42:08
  as
• 42:08
  he's
• 42:08
  there
• 42:09
  for
• 42:09
  me
• 42:09
  going
• 42:10
  through
• 42:10
  the
• 42:10
  major
• 42:10
  changes
• 42:11
  and
• 42:11
  challenges
• 42:11
  in
• 42:12
  my
• 42:12
  life.
• 42:12
  And
• 42:13
  it
• 42:13
  just
• 42:13
  brought
• 42:13
  us
• 42:14
  so
• 42:14
  close.
• 42:15
  It
• 42:15
  brought
• 42:15
  us
• 42:15
  so
• 42:16
  much
• 42:16
  closer
• 42:16
  together.
• 42:17
  We
• 42:17
  were
• 42:17
  both
• 42:17
  able
• 42:17
  to
• 42:17
  be
• 42:17
  there
• 42:18
  for
• 42:18
  each
• 42:18
  other.
• 42:19
  So
• 42:20
  that
• 42:21
  above
• 42:21
  all
• 42:22
  has
• 42:22
  been
• 42:22
  what
• 42:23
  has
• 42:23
  been
• 42:24
  made
• 42:25
  this
• 42:25
  all
• 42:25
  just
• 42:25
  like
• 42:26
  really
• 42:26
  worth
• 42:26
  it.
• 42:26
  As
• 42:27
  shitty
• 42:27
  as
• 42:27
  it
• 42:28
  as
• 42:28
  it
• 42:28
  is
• 42:29
  so
• 42:31
  psychological
• 42:32
  non
• 42:32
  epileptic
• 42:33
  seizures
• 42:34
  is
• 42:34
  oftentimes
• 42:35
  caused
• 42:35
  from
• 42:35
  a
• 42:36
  compound
• 42:36
  of
• 42:37
  trauma.
• 42:38
  So
• 42:39
  the
• 42:39
  brain
• 42:39
  has
• 42:40
  so
• 42:40
  much
• 42:40
  trauma
• 42:40
  that
• 42:40
  has
• 42:41
  been
• 42:41
  unprocessed
• 42:42
  that
• 42:43
  it,
• 42:43
  it
• 42:43
  can't
• 42:44
  handle
• 42:44
  anymore.
• 42:45
  The
• 42:46
  box
• 42:46
  is
• 42:46
  full,
• 42:47
  lid
• 42:47
  is
• 42:47
  exploding
• 42:49
  and
• 42:49
  there's.
• 42:50
  You
• 42:51
  can't.
• 42:51
  My
• 42:52
  temper
• 42:52
  was
• 42:52
  really
• 42:52
  short.
• 42:53
  I
• 42:53
  think
• 42:53
  a
• 42:53
  lot
• 42:53
  of
• 42:53
  you
• 42:54
  would
• 42:54
  know
• 42:54
  that
• 42:55
  I
• 42:55
  had
• 42:55
  a
• 42:55
  short
• 42:56
  temper
• 42:56
  for
• 42:56
  a
• 42:56
  long
• 42:57
  time.
• 42:57
  And
• 42:57
  it's
• 42:58
  because
• 42:59
  due
• 42:59
  to
• 42:59
  the
• 43:00
  brain
• 43:00
  not
• 43:00
  having
• 43:00
  enough
• 43:00
  space
• 43:01
  to
• 43:01
  process
• 43:02
  anything,
• 43:03
  if
• 43:03
  we
• 43:03
  get
• 43:03
  to
• 43:03
  a
• 43:04
  point
• 43:04
  where
• 43:04
  like
• 43:04
  oh,
• 43:05
  a
• 43:06
  cup
• 43:06
  of
• 43:06
  water
• 43:06
  spilt
• 43:07
  over.
• 43:07
  Now
• 43:07
  I'm
• 43:07
  really
• 43:08
  angry
• 43:08
  because
• 43:09
  it's
• 43:10
  just
• 43:10
  another
• 43:10
  thing
• 43:11
  to
• 43:11
  figure
• 43:11
  out
• 43:11
  and
• 43:11
  process.
• 43:12
  And
• 43:13
  it's
• 43:13
  not,
• 43:14
  that's
• 43:14
  not
• 43:14
  a
• 43:15
  normal
• 43:15
  reaction.
• 43:16
  That
• 43:16
  is
• 43:16
  the
• 43:16
  reaction
• 43:17
  of
• 43:17
  someone
• 43:17
  who
• 43:17
  cannot
• 43:18
  process
• 43:19
  anything
• 43:19
  more
• 43:20
  that
• 43:20
  is
• 43:20
  going
• 43:20
  on
• 43:20
  in
• 43:21
  their
• 43:21
  life.
• 43:21
  Any,
• 43:21
  any
• 43:22
  more
• 43:22
  stimulant,
• 43:23
  too
• 43:24
  many
• 43:24
  sounds
• 43:24
  on
• 43:24
  at
• 43:25
  once,
• 43:25
  you
• 43:25
  know,
• 43:26
  too
• 43:26
  much
• 43:26
  light
• 43:27
  to
• 43:27
  just
• 43:28
  all
• 43:28
  the
• 43:28
  things
• 43:29
  real
• 43:29
  quick
• 43:29
  to
• 43:29
  irritation
• 43:30
  and
• 43:30
  everything
• 43:31
  feels
• 43:31
  like
• 43:32
  the
• 43:32
  end
• 43:32
  of
• 43:32
  the
• 43:32
  world.
• 43:33
  Brain
• 43:33
  spotting
• 43:34
  helped
• 43:34
  me
• 43:34
  overcome
• 43:36
  the
• 43:36
  challenge
• 43:37
  of
• 43:37
  these
• 43:37
  non
• 43:37
  epileptic
• 43:39
  seizures.
• 43:40
  And
• 43:41
  actually
• 43:41
  what
• 43:42
  I've
• 43:42
  learned,
• 43:42
  which
• 43:42
  is
• 43:43
  why
• 43:43
  I
• 43:43
  thought
• 43:43
  that
• 43:43
  it
• 43:43
  was
• 43:44
  really,
• 43:44
  really
• 43:44
  important
• 43:44
  to
• 43:44
  share
• 43:45
  with
• 43:45
  you
• 43:45
  guys,
• 43:46
  is
• 43:46
  that
• 43:48
  epilepsy,
• 43:49
  like
• 43:49
  actual
• 43:49
  epilepsy,
• 43:51
  is
• 43:51
  misdiagnosed.
• 43:52
  40%
• 43:53
  of
• 43:53
  the
• 43:53
  time.
• 43:54
  40%
• 43:55
  of
• 43:55
  the
• 43:55
  time
• 43:57
  a
• 43:57
  person
• 43:58
  is
• 43:58
  not
• 43:58
  actually
• 43:59
  experiencing
• 44:00
  epileptic
• 44:01
  seizures.
• 44:01
  They're
• 44:02
  actually
• 44:02
  experiencing
• 44:04
  pines
• 44:05
  psychological
• 44:05
  non
• 44:06
  epileptic
• 44:06
  seizures.
• 44:07
  And
• 44:07
  so
• 44:08
  they
• 44:08
  will
• 44:08
  live
• 44:08
  on
• 44:08
  these
• 44:09
  medications
• 44:09
  and
• 44:09
  be
• 44:10
  misdiagnosed.
• 44:11
  These
• 44:11
  like
• 44:12
  literally
• 44:12
  life
• 44:13
  changing,
• 44:14
  life
• 44:15
  altering
• 44:15
  things
• 44:15
  where
• 44:16
  you're
• 44:16
  unable
• 44:16
  to
• 44:16
  drive
• 44:17
  for
• 44:17
  months.
• 44:17
  Every
• 44:17
  time
• 44:17
  you
• 44:18
  have
• 44:18
  a
• 44:18
  seizure,
• 44:19
  your
• 44:20
  brain's
• 44:20
  being
• 44:21
  literally
• 44:21
  affected,
• 44:22
  your
• 44:22
  personality
• 44:23
  is
• 44:23
  being
• 44:23
  literally
• 44:24
  altered
• 44:25
  with
• 44:25
  these
• 44:25
  seizure
• 44:26
  medications.
• 44:28
  So
• 44:29
  you
• 44:29
  heard
• 44:29
  me,
• 44:29
  40%
• 44:30
  is
• 44:30
  misdiagnosed.
• 44:32
  The
• 44:33
  average
• 44:34
  of
• 44:35
  someone
• 44:35
  who
• 44:36
  is
• 44:36
  misdiagnosed
• 44:37
  stays
• 44:38
  misdiagnosed
• 44:39
  for
• 44:39
  eight
• 44:39
  and
• 44:39
  a
• 44:39
  half
• 44:39
  years,
• 44:40
  but
• 44:40
  most
• 44:40
  commonly
• 44:41
  10
• 44:41
  years.
• 44:42
  So
• 44:42
  10
• 44:42
  years
• 44:44
  people
• 44:44
  will
• 44:44
  be
• 44:44
  on
• 44:45
  these
• 44:45
  medications
• 44:46
  that's
• 44:46
  just
• 44:46
  altering
• 44:48
  their
• 44:48
  mind
• 44:49
  and
• 44:49
  their
• 44:49
  personality
• 44:50
  and
• 44:51
  affecting
• 44:51
  how
• 44:52
  they
• 44:52
  can
• 44:52
  live
• 44:52
  their
• 44:52
  life
• 44:53
  and
• 44:53
  just
• 44:54
  controlling
• 44:54
  all
• 44:54
  these
• 44:54
  things.
• 44:55
  And
• 44:56
  it's
• 44:56
  wild,
• 44:57
  it's
• 44:58
  wild,
• 44:58
  it's
• 44:58
  upsetting
• 45:00
  and
• 45:00
  it's
• 45:00
  because
• 45:02
  it's
• 45:02
  reversible.
• 45:04
  When
• 45:05
  you
• 45:05
  have
• 45:06
  epilepsy,
• 45:08
  you
• 45:08
  can
• 45:08
  take
• 45:08
  medication,
• 45:09
  you'll
• 45:09
  likely
• 45:10
  be
• 45:10
  on
• 45:10
  medication
• 45:10
  the
• 45:11
  rest
• 45:11
  of
• 45:11
  your
• 45:11
  life.
• 45:12
  But
• 45:13
  there's,
• 45:14
  that's
• 45:14
  your
• 45:15
  life.
• 45:16
  Being
• 45:16
  diagnosed
• 45:17
  with
• 45:18
  the
• 45:18
  non
• 45:19
  epileptic
• 45:19
  seizures,
• 45:21
  there's
• 45:22
  psychology
• 45:23
  and
• 45:23
  therapies
• 45:24
  to
• 45:24
  help
• 45:24
  you
• 45:25
  make
• 45:25
  space
• 45:25
  to
• 45:26
  process
• 45:26
  what's
• 45:26
  going
• 45:26
  on.
• 45:27
  And
• 45:27
  after
• 45:28
  a
• 45:28
  year
• 45:29
  of
• 45:30
  going
• 45:30
  through
• 45:31
  brain
• 45:31
  spotting
• 45:32
  and
• 45:32
  therapy,
• 45:33
  I,
• 45:34
  I
• 45:34
  want
• 45:35
  to
• 45:35
  say
• 45:35
  I
• 45:35
  never
• 45:36
  have
• 45:36
  any
• 45:36
  more
• 45:36
  seizures.
• 45:37
  But
• 45:37
  that,
• 45:38
  that's
• 45:38
  not
• 45:38
  true.
• 45:38
  But
• 45:39
  it's
• 45:39
  very,
• 45:39
  very
• 45:39
  rare.
• 45:41
  You
• 45:41
  know,
• 45:41
  less,
• 45:42
  less
• 45:42
  often
• 45:43
  and
• 45:46
  I
• 45:46
  am
• 45:47
  a
• 45:47
  whole
• 45:47
  new
• 45:47
  person.
• 45:48
  If
• 45:48
  you
• 45:48
  know
• 45:48
  me,
• 45:48
  you
• 45:49
  know,
• 45:49
  a
• 45:49
  lot
• 45:50
  of
• 45:50
  my
• 45:51
  basic
• 45:52
  life
• 45:52
  views
• 45:53
  have
• 45:53
  changed,
• 45:53
  a
• 45:53
  lot
• 45:54
  of
• 45:54
  my
• 45:54
  acceptance
• 45:56
  has
• 45:56
  changed.
• 45:57
  Just
• 45:58
  my
• 45:58
  personality
• 45:59
  is
• 46:00
  so
• 46:00
  much
• 46:00
  more
• 46:00
  calm,
• 46:01
  so
• 46:02
  much
• 46:02
  more
• 46:02
  present
• 46:04
  and
• 46:04
  I
• 46:04
  just
• 46:05
  have
• 46:05
  so
• 46:05
  much
• 46:05
  room
• 46:06
  to
• 46:07
  learn
• 46:07
  who
• 46:08
  I
• 46:08
  am,
• 46:09
  which
• 46:09
  is
• 46:09
  why
• 46:09
  the
• 46:09
  podcast
• 46:10
  was
• 46:10
  created
• 46:10
  in
• 46:11
  the
• 46:11
  first
• 46:11
  place.
• 46:11
  I
• 46:12
  felt
• 46:12
  like
• 46:12
  I
• 46:12
  didn't
• 46:12
  know
• 46:12
  who
• 46:13
  I
• 46:13
  was
• 46:13
  because
• 46:13
  all
• 46:14
  of
• 46:14
  my
• 46:14
  autonomy
• 46:14
  and
• 46:14
  all
• 46:15
  of
• 46:15
  my
• 46:15
  freedom
• 46:15
  had
• 46:15
  just
• 46:16
  been
• 46:16
  taken
• 46:16
  away
• 46:16
  from
• 46:16
  me
• 46:17
  and
• 46:17
  I
• 46:17
  already
• 46:17
  didn't
• 46:18
  know
• 46:18
  who
• 46:18
  I
• 46:18
  was.
• 46:18
  I
• 46:19
  have
• 46:19
  been
• 46:19
  a
• 46:19
  mom
• 46:19
  and
• 46:20
  working
• 46:20
  24
• 46:21
  7,
• 46:21
  not
• 46:22
  24
• 46:22
  7,
• 46:22
  but
• 46:22
  you
• 46:23
  know
• 46:23
  what
• 46:23
  I
• 46:23
  mean,
• 46:23
  working
• 46:24
  full
• 46:24
  time
• 46:24
  jobs,
• 46:26
  I
• 46:27
  didn't
• 46:27
  know
• 46:27
  anything
• 46:27
  about
• 46:28
  myself.
• 46:28
  And
• 46:28
  it's
• 46:28
  really
• 46:28
  easy
• 46:29
  for
• 46:29
  us
• 46:29
  to
• 46:30
  lose
• 46:30
  that
• 46:31
  and
• 46:31
  not
• 46:31
  even
• 46:31
  realize
• 46:32
  that
• 46:32
  we've
• 46:32
  lost
• 46:32
  it.
• 46:33
  Can
• 46:34
  you
• 46:34
  right
• 46:34
  now
• 46:35
  tell
• 46:36
  me
• 46:36
  like
• 46:36
  what
• 46:36
  your
• 46:36
  favorite
• 46:37
  color
• 46:37
  is?
• 46:37
  Can
• 46:37
  you
• 46:38
  tell
• 46:38
  me
• 46:38
  what
• 46:39
  your
• 46:39
  favorite
• 46:40
  style
• 46:40
  of
• 46:41
  clothing
• 46:41
  is?
• 46:41
  Like
• 46:42
  that
• 46:42
  makes
• 46:42
  you
• 46:42
  actually
• 46:42
  feel
• 46:43
  good.
• 46:44
  These,
• 46:45
  these
• 46:45
  are
• 46:46
  the
• 46:46
  things
• 46:46
  that
• 46:46
  I
• 46:46
  couldn't
• 46:47
  even
• 46:47
  answer.
• 46:48
  And
• 46:49
  Melissa
• 46:49
  had
• 46:50
  made
• 46:50
  a
• 46:50
  comment
• 46:50
  that,
• 46:51
  oh,
• 46:51
  I've
• 46:51
  always
• 46:51
  wanted
• 46:51
  a
• 46:51
  podcast
• 46:52
  and
• 46:53
  I
• 46:53
  You
• 46:53
  know,
• 46:53
  kind
• 46:54
  of
• 46:54
  chuckled
• 46:54
  it
• 46:54
  off.
• 46:54
  And
• 46:55
  then
• 46:55
  I
• 46:56
  go,
• 46:56
  well,
• 46:57
  I
• 46:57
  can't
• 46:58
  leave
• 46:58
  the
• 46:58
  house
• 46:58
  and
• 46:58
  talk
• 46:58
  to
• 46:59
  people
• 46:59
  any
• 46:59
  other
• 46:59
  way.
• 47:00
  You
• 47:00
  want
• 47:00
  to
• 47:00
  do
• 47:00
  a
• 47:01
  podcast
• 47:01
  with
• 47:01
  me?
• 47:02
  And
• 47:03
  she
• 47:03
  did.
• 47:04
  So
• 47:05
  Skirts
• 47:05
  up
• 47:06
  was
• 47:06
  born.
• 47:07
  And
• 47:07
  what
• 47:08
  happened
• 47:08
  with
• 47:09
  Skirts
• 47:09
  up
• 47:09
  being
• 47:09
  born
• 47:10
  is
• 47:10
  the
• 47:10
  other
• 47:11
  best
• 47:11
  thing
• 47:11
  that
• 47:11
  ever
• 47:11
  happened
• 47:12
  to
• 47:12
  me.
• 47:16
  We
• 47:16
  started
• 47:17
  talking
• 47:18
  and
• 47:18
  meeting
• 47:18
  with
• 47:19
  so
• 47:19
  many
• 47:19
  different
• 47:19
  people.
• 47:20
  And
• 47:20
  we
• 47:20
  used
• 47:20
  it
• 47:20
  as
• 47:21
  a
• 47:21
  space
• 47:21
  where
• 47:22
  we
• 47:22
  could
• 47:22
  just
• 47:23
  record
• 47:24
  ourselves
• 47:24
  learning
• 47:24
  about
• 47:25
  random
• 47:25
  shit
• 47:25
  like,
• 47:26
  oh,
• 47:27
  let's
• 47:27
  talk
• 47:28
  about
• 47:28
  tarot
• 47:28
  and
• 47:28
  look
• 47:29
  up
• 47:29
  what
• 47:29
  tarot
• 47:29
  is.
• 47:30
  Let's,
• 47:31
  oh,
• 47:31
  there's
• 47:31
  this
• 47:32
  odd
• 47:33
  spiritual
• 47:33
  type
• 47:34
  of
• 47:34
  belief
• 47:35
  where,
• 47:35
  you
• 47:36
  know,
• 47:36
  there's
• 47:36
  spirit
• 47:37
  guides
• 47:37
  and
• 47:37
  stuff.
• 47:38
  Let's
• 47:38
  learn
• 47:38
  about
• 47:38
  that.
• 47:39
  And
• 47:39
  that
• 47:39
  just
• 47:39
  led
• 47:40
  into
• 47:40
  finding
• 47:40
  other
• 47:40
  people
• 47:41
  who
• 47:42
  do
• 47:42
  really
• 47:42
  believe
• 47:43
  other
• 47:43
  things
• 47:44
  than
• 47:44
  what
• 47:44
  I
• 47:45
  had
• 47:45
  ever
• 47:45
  heard
• 47:45
  of
• 47:46
  or
• 47:46
  known
• 47:46
  to
• 47:46
  be
• 47:46
  true.
• 47:47
  It
• 47:47
  led
• 47:48
  to
• 47:49
  gaining
• 47:50
  more
• 47:50
  perspective
• 47:51
  and
• 47:51
  knowledge.
• 47:52
  I
• 47:53
  mean,
• 47:53
  again,
• 47:54
  these
• 47:54
  are
• 47:54
  perspectives
• 47:55
  that
• 47:55
  I've
• 47:55
  never
• 47:55
  been
• 47:55
  exposed
• 47:56
  to
• 47:56
  before
• 47:56
  and
• 47:57
  never
• 47:57
  would
• 47:57
  have
• 47:57
  known
• 47:57
  existed.
• 47:59
  And
• 47:59
  so
• 47:59
  just
• 47:59
  got,
• 48:01
  I
• 48:01
  just,
• 48:02
  it
• 48:02
  fed
• 48:03
  my
• 48:03
  natural
• 48:04
  thirst
• 48:04
  for
• 48:04
  knowledge.
• 48:05
  And
• 48:05
  so
• 48:06
  just
• 48:07
  getting
• 48:07
  to
• 48:07
  meet
• 48:07
  more
• 48:07
  and
• 48:08
  more
• 48:08
  people,
• 48:08
  I
• 48:09
  actually
• 48:09
  found
• 48:10
  more
• 48:10
  and
• 48:10
  more
• 48:10
  of
• 48:10
  myself.
• 48:11
  I
• 48:11
  actually
• 48:13
  have
• 48:13
  found
• 48:14
  a
• 48:14
  lifestyle
• 48:15
  that
• 48:15
  I'm,
• 48:15
  I
• 48:16
  love,
• 48:16
  I'm
• 48:16
  really
• 48:17
  comfortable
• 48:17
  with.
• 48:18
  My
• 48:19
  marriage
• 48:20
  has
• 48:20
  become
• 48:20
  so
• 48:20
  much
• 48:21
  stronger
• 48:21
  because
• 48:21
  of
• 48:22
  my
• 48:22
  mind
• 48:22
  just
• 48:22
  being
• 48:23
  more
• 48:23
  open
• 48:24
  and
• 48:24
  receptive
• 48:25
  to
• 48:25
  change
• 48:25
  and
• 48:26
  things
• 48:26
  that
• 48:26
  are
• 48:26
  different.
• 48:27
  And
• 48:28
  really,
• 48:30
  I
• 48:30
  mean,
• 48:31
  one
• 48:31
  of
• 48:31
  my
• 48:31
  biggest
• 48:32
  frustrations
• 48:33
  and
• 48:33
  why
• 48:33
  I
• 48:33
  felt
• 48:34
  like
• 48:34
  it
• 48:34
  wasn't
• 48:34
  worth
• 48:37
  being
• 48:39
  knowledgeable
• 48:40
  in
• 48:41
  like,
• 48:41
  one's,
• 48:42
  like
• 48:42
  a
• 48:42
  particular
• 48:44
  view
• 48:44
  or
• 48:46
  belief
• 48:46
  is
• 48:47
  because
• 48:47
  my
• 48:47
  brain
• 48:48
  just,
• 48:48
  it
• 48:49
  has
• 48:49
  a
• 48:49
  really
• 48:50
  hard
• 48:50
  time
• 48:53
  if
• 48:54
  something
• 48:54
  isn't
• 48:55
  exact.
• 48:56
  So,
• 48:59
  you
• 48:59
  know,
• 48:59
  you
• 48:59
  could
• 49:00
  say,
• 49:00
  do
• 49:00
  you
• 49:00
  believe
• 49:01
  in
• 49:01
  all
• 49:02
  the
• 49:02
  rules
• 49:02
  and
• 49:02
  policies
• 49:03
  of,
• 49:04
  you
• 49:04
  know,
• 49:05
  the
• 49:05
  Mormon
• 49:06
  Church?
• 49:07
  Or
• 49:07
  do
• 49:07
  you
• 49:08
  believe
• 49:08
  that,
• 49:09
  you
• 49:09
  know,
• 49:09
  you
• 49:09
  have
• 49:09
  a
• 49:09
  higher
• 49:10
  self
• 49:10
  and
• 49:10
  there's
• 49:10
  spirit
• 49:10
  guides
• 49:11
  helping
• 49:11
  you
• 49:11
  along
• 49:11
  the
• 49:11
  way?
• 49:12
  Like,
• 49:12
  my
• 49:12
  brain
• 49:13
  would
• 49:13
  go,
• 49:13
  okay,
• 49:14
  I
• 49:14
  hear
• 49:14
  all
• 49:14
  the
• 49:15
  facts
• 49:15
  about
• 49:16
  living
• 49:17
  in
• 49:17
  the
• 49:18
  like.
• 49:18
  As
• 49:18
  a
• 49:19
  Mormon,
• 49:20
  I
• 49:21
  understand
• 49:21
  how
• 49:22
  that
• 49:22
  can
• 49:22
  be
• 49:22
  comfortable
• 49:23
  for
• 49:23
  people
• 49:23
  and
• 49:23
  how
• 49:24
  that
• 49:24
  happens
• 49:24
  and
• 49:25
  also
• 49:25
  why
• 49:25
  people
• 49:26
  can,
• 49:26
  you
• 49:26
  know,
• 49:26
  leave
• 49:26
  the
• 49:27
  church
• 49:27
  and
• 49:27
  why
• 49:27
  they
• 49:27
  would.
• 49:28
  Then
• 49:28
  I
• 49:29
  can
• 49:29
  also
• 49:29
  hear
• 49:29
  and
• 49:30
  feel
• 49:30
  validation
• 49:31
  from
• 49:31
  everything
• 49:32
  that
• 49:32
  someone
• 49:32
  says
• 49:33
  about
• 49:33
  spirit
• 49:33
  guides
• 49:34
  and
• 49:34
  you
• 49:34
  know,
• 49:35
  what,
• 49:35
  what
• 49:35
  that
• 49:35
  means.
• 49:36
  And
• 49:36
  so
• 49:36
  then
• 49:37
  my
• 49:37
  brain
• 49:37
  would
• 49:37
  just
• 49:37
  get
• 49:37
  overloaded
• 49:38
  and
• 49:38
  be
• 49:38
  like,
• 49:39
  well,
• 49:40
  I
• 49:40
  don't
• 49:40
  know
• 49:41
  what
• 49:41
  I
• 49:41
  believe
• 49:41
  in.
• 49:41
  And
• 49:42
  this
• 49:42
  is
• 49:42
  overwhelming
• 49:42
  because
• 49:43
  how
• 49:43
  can
• 49:43
  I
• 49:44
  believe
• 49:44
  in
• 49:44
  two
• 49:44
  things
• 49:45
  at
• 49:45
  once?
• 49:46
  And
• 49:46
  one
• 49:46
  of
• 49:46
  the
• 49:46
  most
• 49:47
  mind
• 49:48
  changing,
• 49:48
  life
• 49:49
  changing
• 49:49
  phrases
• 49:50
  that
• 49:50
  was
• 49:51
  said
• 49:51
  to
• 49:51
  me
• 49:51
  by
• 49:51
  someone
• 49:52
  on
• 49:52
  the
• 49:52
  podcast,
• 49:52
  Kelly
• 49:53
  Palmeteer,
• 49:54
  was
• 49:54
  that
• 49:54
  it's
• 49:54
  okay
• 49:55
  to
• 49:55
  believe
• 49:55
  in
• 49:55
  everything
• 49:55
  and
• 49:56
  nothing
• 49:56
  at
• 49:56
  all.
• 49:57
  And
• 49:57
  that's
• 49:57
  kind
• 49:57
  of
• 49:57
  been
• 49:58
  like
• 49:58
  my
• 49:58
  philosophy
• 49:59
  for,
• 49:59
  for
• 50:00
  many
• 50:00
  things.
• 50:00
  And
• 50:00
  I
• 50:00
  go,
• 50:00
  oh
• 50:01
  man,
• 50:01
  is
• 50:01
  reincarnation
• 50:02
  real?
• 50:02
  Like,
• 50:02
  I
• 50:02
  really
• 50:03
  think
• 50:03
  it
• 50:03
  is,
• 50:03
  but
• 50:03
  what
• 50:03
  if
• 50:04
  it's
• 50:04
  not
• 50:04
  real?
• 50:05
  So
• 50:05
  what?
• 50:06
  So
• 50:07
  what?
• 50:07
  And
• 50:07
  it's
• 50:08
  okay
• 50:08
  to
• 50:08
  believe
• 50:08
  in
• 50:08
  all
• 50:09
  things
• 50:09
  and
• 50:09
  nothing
• 50:10
  at
• 50:10
  all.
• 50:10
  I,
• 50:11
  it's,
• 50:13
  there's
• 50:14
  just
• 50:15
  so
• 50:15
  much
• 50:16
  to
• 50:16
  explore
• 50:16
  and
• 50:19
  I,
• 50:19
  I
• 50:20
  don't
• 50:20
  know,
• 50:20
  I
• 50:20
  don't
• 50:21
  really
• 50:21
  know
• 50:22
  what
• 50:22
  to
• 50:23
  tell
• 50:23
  you
• 50:23
  other
• 50:24
  than
• 50:24
  I
• 50:25
  have
• 50:25
  really
• 50:25
  enjoyed
• 50:25
  getting
• 50:26
  to
• 50:26
  know
• 50:26
  the
• 50:26
  person
• 50:26
  that
• 50:27
  I
• 50:27
  am
• 50:27
  today.
• 50:28
  And
• 50:29
  it's
• 50:29
  been
• 50:29
  a
• 50:29
  journey.
• 50:31
  And
• 50:32
  this
• 50:32
  podcast
• 50:33
  just
• 50:33
  keeps
• 50:34
  giving
• 50:34
  me
• 50:34
  purpose
• 50:35
  and
• 50:35
  giving
• 50:35
  me
• 50:36
  actual
• 50:36
  life
• 50:36
  goals
• 50:37
  and
• 50:38
  there's
• 50:39
  just
• 50:40
  an
• 50:40
  even
• 50:40
  higher
• 50:41
  and
• 50:42
  better
• 50:42
  me
• 50:42
  that
• 50:43
  I
• 50:44
  know
• 50:44
  that
• 50:44
  I
• 50:44
  can
• 50:44
  get
• 50:44
  to.
• 50:45
  And
• 50:46
  life
• 50:46
  has
• 50:46
  just
• 50:47
  been
• 50:47
  great.
• 50:49
  So
• 50:52
  I
• 50:53
  still
• 50:53
  have
• 50:53
  work
• 50:53
  to
• 50:53
  do.
• 50:54
  I'm
• 50:54
  still
• 50:54
  in
• 50:55
  therapy.
• 50:56
  I
• 50:56
  still
• 50:57
  have
• 50:57
  some
• 50:57
  random
• 50:58
  seizure
• 50:59
  episodes
• 51:02
  and
• 51:03
  there's
• 51:03
  a
• 51:04
  reason,
• 51:05
  usually
• 51:06
  something
• 51:07
  that
• 51:08
  my
• 51:08
  brain
• 51:08
  just
• 51:08
  again
• 51:09
  has
• 51:09
  a
• 51:09
  hard
• 51:09
  time
• 51:09
  processing
• 51:10
  because
• 51:11
  there's
• 51:11
  still
• 51:11
  some
• 51:11
  things
• 51:12
  that
• 51:12
  are,
• 51:13
  are
• 51:13
  yet
• 51:13
  to
• 51:13
  be
• 51:13
  processed
• 51:15
  and
• 51:15
  my
• 51:15
  brain
• 51:15
  flops.
• 51:16
  We
• 51:17
  just
• 51:17
  know
• 51:17
  that's
• 51:17
  how
• 51:17
  I
• 51:17
  operate.
• 51:19
  So
• 51:19
  like
• 51:19
  with
• 51:19
  Ada
• 51:20
  dying,
• 51:21
  I
• 51:21
  experienced
• 51:22
  a
• 51:22
  lot
• 51:22
  of
• 51:22
  flops.
• 51:23
  It
• 51:23
  was
• 51:24
  really
• 51:24
  hard
• 51:24
  having
• 51:24
  that
• 51:25
  extreme
• 51:25
  change
• 51:25
  in
• 51:26
  my
• 51:26
  life.
• 51:27
  So
• 51:28
  we've
• 51:28
  been
• 51:28
  getting
• 51:29
  over
• 51:29
  that
• 51:29
  and
• 51:30
  with
• 51:31
  that
• 51:31
  has
• 51:31
  on,
• 51:32
  has,
• 51:33
  has
• 51:33
  opened
• 51:34
  some
• 51:34
  more
• 51:34
  aspects
• 51:35
  of
• 51:35
  my
• 51:35
  life
• 51:35
  that
• 51:36
  have
• 51:36
  yet
• 51:36
  to
• 51:36
  have
• 51:36
  been
• 51:37
  worked
• 51:37
  out
• 51:37
  and
• 51:37
  you
• 51:38
  know,
• 51:39
  actually
• 51:39
  processed.
• 51:40
  So
• 51:41
  now
• 51:42
  my
• 51:42
  brain
• 51:42
  has
• 51:43
  space
• 51:43
  to
• 51:43
  process
• 51:44
  that.
• 51:44
  And
• 51:44
  so
• 51:44
  now
• 51:45
  it's
• 51:45
  just
• 51:45
  another
• 51:46
  wave
• 51:47
  of
• 51:47
  ups
• 51:47
  and
• 51:48
  downs
• 51:48
  and
• 51:50
  you
• 51:50
  know,
• 51:50
  experiencing
• 51:51
  really,
• 51:51
  really
• 51:52
  tough
• 51:52
  stuff
• 51:53
  inside
• 51:53
  of
• 51:54
  my
• 51:54
  head
• 51:54
  and
• 51:54
  having
• 51:55
  to
• 51:55
  talk
• 51:55
  about
• 51:55
  it
• 51:55
  and
• 51:56
  having
• 51:56
  to
• 51:57
  relive
• 51:57
  things
• 51:58
  and
• 51:58
  that
• 51:59
  really
• 51:59
  sucks.
• 51:59
  But
• 52:00
  I
• 52:01
  know
• 52:01
  that
• 52:02
  after
• 52:03
  a
• 52:03
  while
• 52:04
  I'm
• 52:04
  going
• 52:04
  to
• 52:04
  be
• 52:05
  an
• 52:05
  even
• 52:05
  better
• 52:06
  person.
• 52:06
  I'm
• 52:06
  going
• 52:06
  to
• 52:06
  be
• 52:06
  an
• 52:06
  even
• 52:07
  happier
• 52:07
  person.
• 52:07
  I'm
• 52:07
  going
• 52:08
  to
• 52:08
  be
• 52:08
  an
• 52:08
  even
• 52:08
  more
• 52:08
  accepting
• 52:09
  person.
• 52:09
  I'm
• 52:10
  going
• 52:10
  to
• 52:10
  be
• 52:10
  an
• 52:10
  even
• 52:10
  more
• 52:10
  lovable
• 52:11
  person.
• 52:11
  I
• 52:12
  know
• 52:12
  I'm
• 52:12
  lovable
• 52:12
  right
• 52:12
  now,
• 52:13
  so
• 52:13
  don't,
• 52:13
  don't
• 52:13
  come
• 52:14
  at
• 52:14
  me.
• 52:14
  But
• 52:16
  I
• 52:16
  can
• 52:16
  love
• 52:16
  myself
• 52:17
  more
• 52:17
  the
• 52:17
  more
• 52:18
  that
• 52:18
  I
• 52:18
  continue
• 52:18
  to
• 52:18
  grow.
• 52:19
  And
• 52:20
  so
• 52:20
  of
• 52:20
  course
• 52:20
  that
• 52:20
  means
• 52:21
  that
• 52:21
  I'm
• 52:21
  able
• 52:21
  to
• 52:22
  accept
• 52:22
  myself
• 52:23
  or
• 52:23
  accept
• 52:24
  love
• 52:25
  from
• 52:25
  others
• 52:25
  a
• 52:25
  whole
• 52:26
  lot
• 52:26
  better
• 52:26
  and
• 52:26
  a
• 52:26
  whole
• 52:26
  lot
• 52:26
  more.
• 52:27
  And
• 52:27
  I,
• 52:27
  I
• 52:28
  have
• 52:28
  a
• 52:28
  lot
• 52:28
  more
• 52:28
  love
• 52:29
  to,
• 52:30
  to
• 52:31
  accept
• 52:31
  and
• 52:32
  give
• 52:32
  and
• 52:33
  I
• 52:33
  look
• 52:33
  forward
• 52:34
  to,
• 52:35
  even
• 52:35
  though
• 52:35
  it's
• 52:36
  down
• 52:36
  right
• 52:36
  now,
• 52:38
  getting
• 52:38
  even
• 52:38
  better
• 52:39
  and
• 52:40
  seeing
• 52:40
  where
• 52:40
  I
• 52:41
  am
• 52:41
  in
• 52:41
  another
• 52:41
  year.
• 52:43
  So
• 52:45
  I
• 52:46
  encourage
• 52:47
  you
• 52:47
  guys
• 52:48
  to
• 52:49
  really
• 52:49
  read
• 52:50
  up
• 52:50
  on
• 52:50
  trauma.
• 52:52
  You
• 52:53
  know,
• 52:53
  actually,
• 52:54
  actually,
• 52:55
  you
• 52:55
  know
• 52:55
  what,
• 52:55
  I'll
• 52:55
  probably,
• 52:57
  we'll
• 52:58
  get
• 52:58
  a
• 52:58
  therapist
• 52:58
  on
• 52:58
  to
• 52:58
  talk
• 52:59
  about
• 52:59
  trauma
• 52:59
  and
• 52:59
  how
• 53:00
  it
• 53:00
  leads
• 53:00
  to
• 53:00
  non
• 53:01
  epileptic
• 53:01
  seizures.
• 53:01
  It'd
• 53:02
  actually
• 53:02
  be
• 53:02
  really
• 53:02
  interesting
• 53:03
  to
• 53:03
  hear
• 53:03
  the
• 53:03
  professional
• 53:04
  perspective
• 53:04
  and
• 53:05
  not
• 53:05
  just
• 53:05
  my
• 53:06
  half
• 53:06
  memory
• 53:07
  of
• 53:07
  what
• 53:07
  I
• 53:08
  experienced
• 53:08
  and
• 53:09
  lived
• 53:09
  through,
• 53:11
  but
• 53:12
  also
• 53:12
  just
• 53:13
  really
• 53:13
  let
• 53:13
  the
• 53:13
  numbers
• 53:13
  sink
• 53:14
  in
• 53:14
  because
• 53:14
  it's,
• 53:14
  it's
• 53:15
  mind
• 53:15
  blowing.
• 53:15
  40%
• 53:17
  of
• 53:17
  people
• 53:17
  who
• 53:18
  actually
• 53:18
  have
• 53:18
  non
• 53:19
  epileptic
• 53:20
  psychological
• 53:20
  seizures
• 53:21
  are
• 53:22
  misdiagnosed
• 53:23
  and
• 53:24
  live
• 53:24
  on
• 53:24
  these
• 53:24
  medications
• 53:25
  that
• 53:25
  make
• 53:25
  you
• 53:26
  a
• 53:26
  zombie
• 53:26
  and
• 53:27
  just
• 53:27
  limit
• 53:27
  your,
• 53:28
  your
• 53:28
  life
• 53:28
  and
• 53:29
  alter
• 53:29
  your
• 53:29
  brain
• 53:30
  for
• 53:30
  eight
• 53:30
  and
• 53:30
  a
• 53:31
  half
• 53:31
  to
• 53:31
  ten
• 53:31
  years.
• 53:32
  It's
• 53:33
  wow.
• 53:34
  If
• 53:35
  you
• 53:35
  are
• 53:35
  having
• 53:35
  seizures
• 53:36
  that
• 53:37
  have
• 53:37
  been
• 53:37
  unexplained
• 53:38
  and
• 53:38
  they
• 53:39
  can't
• 53:39
  find
• 53:39
  a
• 53:39
  cause
• 53:39
  and
• 53:40
  nothing's
• 53:40
  showing
• 53:40
  up
• 53:40
  on
• 53:40
  the
• 53:40
  scans,
• 53:41
  please,
• 53:41
  please,
• 53:41
  please,
• 53:42
  please,
• 53:42
  please
• 53:43
  demand
• 53:43
  an
• 53:43
  at
• 53:44
  home
• 53:44
  E
• 53:47
  to
• 53:47
  figure
• 53:48
  out
• 53:48
  what
• 53:48
  is
• 53:48
  actually
• 53:49
  happening.
• 53:49
  Because
• 53:49
  if
• 53:50
  you
• 53:50
  can
• 53:50
  get
• 53:51
  on
• 53:51
  the
• 53:52
  scan
• 53:53
  having
• 53:54
  a
• 53:54
  seizure,
• 53:54
  like
• 53:55
  in
• 53:55
  the
• 53:55
  moment,
• 53:56
  like
• 53:56
  that's
• 53:57
  your
• 53:57
  answer.
• 53:57
  Like
• 53:58
  your
• 53:59
  brain
• 53:59
  can't,
• 53:59
  you
• 53:59
  can't
• 54:00
  make
• 54:00
  up
• 54:01
  your
• 54:01
  brain
• 54:01
  waves
• 54:02
  to
• 54:02
  show
• 54:02
  something
• 54:03
  on
• 54:04
  the
• 54:04
  EEG
• 54:05
  that's
• 54:05
  not
• 54:05
  really
• 54:06
  there.
• 54:06
  So
• 54:06
  if
• 54:06
  you're
• 54:07
  having
• 54:07
  an
• 54:07
  episode
• 54:07
  and
• 54:07
  nothing
• 54:08
  shows
• 54:08
  up,
• 54:08
  that's
• 54:08
  your
• 54:09
  answer.
• 54:09
  You
• 54:10
  do
• 54:10
  not
• 54:10
  have
• 54:10
  epilepsy.
• 54:12
  You,
• 54:14
  you
• 54:14
  have
• 54:14
  trauma
• 54:15
  and
• 54:16
  you
• 54:16
  need
• 54:16
  help
• 54:17
  and
• 54:17
  that's,
• 54:18
  that's
• 54:18
  okay.
• 54:18
  And
• 54:19
  just
• 54:19
  know
• 54:19
  that
• 54:20
  once
• 54:20
  you
• 54:20
  do
• 54:21
  get
• 54:21
  help,
• 54:21
  your
• 54:21
  life
• 54:22
  becomes
• 54:22
  freer
• 54:23
  and
• 54:23
  you
• 54:24
  just
• 54:24
  start
• 54:25
  to
• 54:25
  love
• 54:25
  life
• 54:25
  a
• 54:25
  whole
• 54:26
  lot
• 54:26
  more.
• 54:27
  So
• 54:30
  yeah.
• 54:31
  Happy
• 54:31
  Mental
• 54:31
  Health
• 54:32
  Awareness
• 54:32
  month.
• 54:33
  Take
• 54:34
  care
• 54:34
  of
• 54:34
  yourself.
• 54:38
  Did
• 54:38
  you
• 54:39
  like
• 54:39
  the
• 54:39
  episode
• 54:39
  that
• 54:39
  you
• 54:40
  heard
• 54:40
  today?
• 54:41
  Great.
• 54:41
  Share
• 54:42
  it
• 54:42
  with
• 54:42
  a
• 54:42
  friend
• 54:42
  and
• 54:43
  don't
• 54:43
  forget
• 54:44
  to
• 54:44
  rate
• 54:44
  and
• 54:45
  review.