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7 lessons scarcity taught me · Cash Confident with Brie Sodano

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Cash Confident podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm Brie Sedano, your fearless host, personal finance expert and the visionary behind the revolutionary Cash Confident community.
• 0:10
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• 0:43
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• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So buckle up, my fierce and ambitious friends, as we embark on this transformative journey to becoming Cash Confident together.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Hello, hello everybody, brie Sedano, here with you today on the Cash Confident podcast, and today what we're going to be talking about is seven lessons that scarcity taught me.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: So in our last episode and episode four, we talked a lot about breaking out of a scarcity cycle And we kind of talked about a lot of the downsides of scarcity and how scarcity impacts your brain function and your physical responses and your emotions and even your actions and behaviors.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: But today I want to show you the flip side of scarcity, so that way, you're not afraid of it And that way, when you're learning to manage yourself through scarcity, it's not anything's wrong, there's no tragedy, there's no problem.
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: I find scarcity to be incredibly valuable for feedback And one of the things that I believe about our emotions in general.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: I believe that every single one of our emotions serves us And that is our friend, and that it comes with the energy, the kind of fire that we need, right Like, or the messages and the lessons, right.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: And so for a long time, my relationship with scarcity was not great.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: It was torturous, right.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Scarcity really tortured me for a long time.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Well, i tortured myself, i guess, and in the last year or two, my relationship with scarcity has really become much more of a friendship, where I feel like when scarcity shows up, i'm really looking for the value that it's bringing, or the perspective, and I'm so much more willing to engage with it without trying to necessarily get rid of it, although I'm practiced at this years of experience, so sometimes just learning how to manage yourself in and out of scarcity is the valuable part.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: But today, anyways, i'm going to teach you some of the lessons that I've learned in my relationship with scarcity.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: All right, so first we have resourcefulness, and resourcefulness is when you keep your focus on what you have and what you're trying to achieve and you stop going out to get more, right.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes, when we're in scarcity, there's a moment where we have a decision that we either have to go get more resources or we can use what we've got, and resourcefulness is a skill that leads us to abundance, but you cannot learn it in abundance, like you learn resourcefulness in scarcity, when you don't have all the resources that you need, and then you have to.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Either you can either use what you've got or go and get more, and both are valid answers.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: It's not like resourcefulness is always the right answer And that the going out to get the thing is wrong or bad, but where I'm going with this is that resourcefulness is the ability to to keep your focus on the abundance that you already do have inside of a moment of scarcity and then use that resourcefulness to create more abundance going forward.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: All right, the curation of desires is another skill that I think you learn in scarcity that helps take you to abundance.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: And when I say the curation of desires, what I mean is listen.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: In our lives, in our lifetime, we can create anything that we want, any single thing.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: Like you, can take your time, money, energy and turn them into anything, but you cannot turn them into everything.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: And the ability to say this is the truth of what I want, this is important to me and this is less important and I don't need to chase that, that curation of desires to know what it is you really do want, so that way you know what you really don't want.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: That skill is a nod to the fact that we live in an unlimited universe, but we are finite beings.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: We have finite time, finite energy, finite money, and even though all of those things are actually like unlimited, they're not.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: They're not fully.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: And so curating your desires, i think, is a skill, because if you want every single thing, your attention is going to be all over the place.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: You're going to be running around chasing everything and getting hardly anything done.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: So that curation of desires is a skill that you, that if we let scarcity really, really lead, we'll chase too much, we'll go after too much.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: But in learning how to navigate that scarcity beautifully, we can learn to curate those desires and then harness the focus and the energy that comes with scarcity to go get those desires.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: The third lesson I learned from with scarcity is learning how to let go of things, learning to be like I don't need this, like this is heavy and I'm not, i don't want to carry this anymore, and that is a skill that you learn inside scarcity.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: That also creates more abundance, because it creates more spaciousness.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: So I'll tell you, a couple years ago maybe like five years ago now, i had a moment where maybe I lost my mind a little bit and I came in my house and I was like this place is so full of crap And I ordered a dumpster and my husband and I took, you know, a full dumpster, so like 15 cubic yards plus plus, plus, you know truckloads of you know trash.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: And then we donated and gave away what was appropriate.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: But I went through and we got rid of a ton of stuff And you know, part of me wanted to like hang on to some some things right And like, obviously we did.
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: We still have a house, like it's still full of stuff, but learning to let go of what no longer serves to me was such an act of abundance, because what ended up happening at my house was my house got much more quiet, and I don't know if this happens to anybody else, but to me it's almost like the stuff in my house is always making noise at me.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: It's like if socks are on the floor, they're like pick me up, put me away, put me into the laundry.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: If there's like stuff out of place, it's like pick me up, put me away.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And so getting rid of all of the items in our house that no longer served freed up so much time and mental energy.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: for me, it was like my house became this place where there was so much just like peace and rejuvenation and just mental quiet, right, and then my time.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: I just got so much time back because I wasn't constantly tidying, along with the energy where I wasn't expending energy perpetually.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Being like annoyed with my family, right, for I have kids.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: They leave their stuff everywhere And then picking up after.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: That is like something that, like you know, annoys me, makes me feel some kind of way, but all of that is just, like you know.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: And so all of that extra stuff was creating scarcity in my time, in my energy, you know, and even in my emotions, like just dragging me into, like annoyance and resentment towards, you know, towards the people I live with, who I love, you know completely.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: And so learning to let that go was a lesson that I learned that sometimes too much actually creates a feeling of not enough, and so learning to let that stuff go really, really helped to increase my feelings of abundance.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: So sufficiency is another skill, so that's the fourth skill that we're talking about, that I learned that you like to learn in scarcity that helps get you towards abundance, and to me, sufficiency is the in between place, between scarcity and abundance, right?
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: So it's like when you're in scarcity, there's not enough, there's not enough resources, there's not enough anything, and when we Go from, if we are in scarcity and we are in a place of abundance, we will consume to excess, you know there'll be too much, and then we'll just work ourselves right back to scarcity, and in my mind, those two things kind of look like a, like an infinity symbol or it's.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: You know, number eight turn on its side, and so sufficiency is the place that, if you can get from scarcity to sufficiency and settle into a Feeling of enoughness, feeling it into like I'm okay here.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Maybe I don't have every single thing, maybe I'm not like in full abundance with every single thing in my life, but like I'm safe, i'm cool, i got this.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Nothing's chasing me, you know like.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: And I think when we go from scarcity to sufficiency, then we can go from sufficiency to abundance and that can make much more sense, because when you know when enough is enough, then you don't use Abundance to create more scarcity.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: And so when I'm saying like you can, you can have a life of abundance and inside of it be creating Scarcity, so it could be spending to excess or over consuming or over buying.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I think in the last example, like if you have too much stuff in your house, you're gonna create a scarcity environment, because then all of that Stuff is gonna be sucking up your time and your mental energy and lowering.
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: You know, if anybody else is like me, where they get like annoyed with having to pick up after other people right, like on a very regular basis And so when you have just enough, then you don't over consume, then you don't go from abundance back to scarcity.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: You could be like, mmm, i'm in abundance and I'm gonna have just enough right, and so that is.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Those are some lessons that I learned.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: You know, after going back and forth between scarcity and abundance, a few times I was like you know what, let's try this a different way and we're, let me just have enough right.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: And so, from scarcity to sufficiency, where you, just where you're, just that enoughness, um, that's, that's a vast improvement.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: And when you're in the abundance, not Overdoing it, not creating excess, you know and going right back to scarcity is just being like, hmm, i just enough.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: Today, i have enough things.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I don't actually want that.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna hang on to this money, you know, or whatever it is, whatever it looks like for you.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: And so sufficiency is another lesson that I learned in scarcity.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Now, the fifth lesson I learned in scarcity, i think, was it was a bit of a challenge, to be honest, and it is focused attention, and At this point I can take my focus and I can really focus on the abundance in my life and the beautiful things that I have in my life And the enoughness in my life and the safety, and the security and the freedom that I currently have, um, and I can feel myself into, like I can use my thoughts to drag my feelings That way, right?
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So it's like, imagine, when I say use my thoughts to drag my feelings, it's like if you were to think Right now of a hundred things that that you admire and love about somebody, you're gonna feel real different than if you think of every single time That person has pissed you off or betrayed you or annoyed you, or you know You're gonna feel real different.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: So those thoughts Drag, you know you drag your feelings with with those thoughts.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And so, for me, learning how to refocus my attention away from scarcity and towards abundance, and learning how to Just be okay with something that's currently like, not perfect and keep my focus on something else That is a massive amount of power and being able to Self-source how you feel right, because, like in our lives, we want to we will generally feel the way the outside world is telling us to feel Right, like it's a beautiful day, we feel good, it's a rainy day, maybe we feel a little glum, and the thing that that we do have, the power that we do have, is the ability to choose How we feel every single second of every single day and that you know And that's not to say that You know you're not going to feel sad or angry or bad or whatever sometimes.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I mean of course you are, you're having a human experience, but being able to maneuver my focus is a skill that that I feel like scarcity really, really taught me, like I learned that lesson a handful of times with scarcity, where I was, you know, in a lot of scarcity and knowing that I needed to focus and keep my attention on the abundance and, you know, keep my attention on what I do have and growing and expanding, all while Really kind of being in a tough spot.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Right, like you know, my business has grown very, very fast.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: You know, i'm five years into business and it's grown really, really fast and a lot of times, um, that's a really bumpy ride.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Right like I've I've grown this business in a way that was really bumpy and now, now I'm Actually now that I'm friends with scarcity It's old, so much less bumpy But when me and scarcity had a very like love-hate relationship, my business was extra bumpy, and so learning how to, you know, maneuver that focus has been a tremendous gift that I really feel like scarcity is kind of taught me and given me the opportunity to learn, all right.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: So number six is when to constrict.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: So to me, scarcity feels very constrictive.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It feels really tight.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: You know, like I can feel like my body kind of contract, my thoughts contract right, and so sometimes, when I'm in scarcity, that's a great place to go looking for things that I actually don't want or need, that I'm spending money on, right.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: So sometimes it's like, ooh well, if I do this, i could free up some cash flow, and sometimes that constriction is really helpful.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: It's kind of like decluttering.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: You know, in your financial life, is it always that?
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: no, you can certainly make constrictive choices that are going to create future scarcity.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You can do that, and so there's a, there's a balance on these this, this skill and the next one too.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: But it's like knowing when constriction is going to serve is a thing.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: So for a long time I thought everything was just expansion, right, like I wanted more, i wanted growth, i wanted this, i wanted that, and everything was always bigger, more faster.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: And what happens when you just are doing that is sometimes you can be carrying a lot of expenses that you really don't need And you know, and so sometimes just like a really good critical eye faced toward not just your finances, like it could be your finances, your you know, the clothes that you have in your closet, everything else where you're just like, hmm, do I actually still want or need this?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Is it time to maybe let this go?
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Is it time to get rid of this?
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Is this an expense that I no longer want to have?
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you a quick story.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: So I had a client once who came to see me right after a divorce and she kept a house.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: She kept the house and the house they bought for with with two incomes, and for a while she wanted to keep the house.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: She honestly had just had something to prove.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: She needed to prove it to herself or, i don't know, to her ex husband or whatever.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And when I was looking at her numbers and the level of responsibility in my mind I was like, ooh, you may want to downsize, you may want to constrict, you may want to have less financial obligation to this house, less grass to have to mull, less walls, to have to paint less, less everything you know and to make your life feel better.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: And she resisted that for a long time, just, i think, really just because she had something to prove.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: And then she ended up buying herself a little lakefront condo, like a little two bedroom, and the price was lower.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: So when she sold their house she made some money and she got this spot and she didn't have to mow the grass because it was a condo.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And so it took her financial responsibilities from like right to the edges to a place that, like, gave her wiggle room to be able to travel and go out to dinners and have a really beautiful, you know, like buy yourself clothes and flowers and beautiful things.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes that constriction is what creates that abundance.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: And so she took a life where she was working all the time because, like, she was working at her job for the money to pay for the house, but then she was mowing, you know, she had two acres of grass to mow and all of the responsibilities of big house on her own, and so that was, it was too big, too much And it was like sucking the life out of her, and so that we used constriction to get her out of scarcity and back into abundance.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: If that makes sense, all right.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And so the next one, the last, the last lesson that I think I've I've learned in my relationship with scarcity is when to expand.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: And then this is this was the hardest lesson for me, because when scarcity really gets me, i feel like like sometimes I get backed into a corner by it, where it seems like I want to do this, but I don't have the money or the resources to be able to do this.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: And I want to do that and I'm stretched out and I want to do that, but I can't really see how the money would get there, and so I will feel really backed into a corner, either by my time or my energy or my money.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: And I'll tell you a story And at one point I'll be in 2021, i lost my Facebook ads account for my business and I had been making a lot of money telling online courses and I was running ads.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: So Facebook I don't know they just took my ads account away and there's really nothing I could do about it.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: There was no human to talk to.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: We asked them to review.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: They didn't really give us a very good reason and it was very disruptive to the cash flow in my business.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: And when that happened for a little while, i took myself off of payroll, which is a thing that I specifically tell business owners to not do So, like.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: But honestly, it was just a thing that I had to do for a minute and I don't suggest it Anyway, so I'm going to tell you the story.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: So I did that for a little while.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I took myself off payroll that I was able to pay my team and pay my expenses and kind of get back on my feet.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: And I wanted to put myself back on payroll and it was like there was never enough money.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: And this only happened over a few weeks.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: This wasn't a very long, this wasn't a super long period of time.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: But what ended up happening is I was like I am going back on payroll and I sent my bookkeeper a note and I said, hey, put me back on payroll.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: And I'm, you know, and she's kind of sent me back a question.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: She was like, okay, like what's what?
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: And I was like I don't know, i'm going to figure it out.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: And so I committed to that and I knew the money was coming out of my bank accounts And so I ended up making the money and it ended up being fine.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: But that scarcity really really helped keep me on focus And if I hadn't made that commitment, i don't think I would have had the ideas that I did that called in the money, and I don't, and I would, you know, i would have struggled with that much longer.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: And so, once I made the commitment to expand my expenses again, right, like, i'm going to, you know, take that, take that like a leap, if you will.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: And this was really, really terrifying for me.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Right, it was a.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: It was a really scary moment because, because I really didn't see how the money was going to come in, but I was like I'm doing this, like I don't care if, like, i'm working this out because I'm not willing to not get paid in my own business, like this is very silly, right.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: And so after a few weeks I was like, all right, well, we're just going to do it.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: And then I made the money and then I've been on payroll ever since and it was, it was really like a non.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: That scarcity helped remind me and, kind of, you know, you feel a certain pressure with that scarcity, and so I think scarcity can also help you stay on focus.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: When you make a commitment to to grow and expand.
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: I think scarcity can also help you to to really stay with it and give you the energy kind of.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like it kind of like chases you and like nips at your heels as you're going And then in time, you don't need that, that kind of reminder, but it's like when you're growing and expanding and that scarcity is chasing you, you're so much more likely to get the thing done right, unless you let it back you into a corner again, which, which is a part of part of the experience.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, all right.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: So resourcefulness and the curation of desires, letting go sufficiency, focus went to construct and went to expand and how to stay with those things Those are some of the lessons that I learned in scarcity and some of the things that really helped me to become friends with scarcity.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Like for years, scarcity and not like I hated it, i hated being in scarcity.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: It terrified me and I do this work right, and so I was like, oh, if I'm experiencing scarcity, i'm doing something wrong.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: There's like something wrong with me.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: It's embarrassing.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I'm a money coach, i shouldn't ever encounter scarcity.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: And like the stories I told myself just added to the layers of of just self-torture.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: And now now scarcity is really just my friend, and so if scarcity is kind of coming up for me, it gives me an indication that there's something I need to look at.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: And sometimes, sometimes, scarcity still gets me and then it comes with a lot of energy and I navigate that and it's not the worst right Like I still don't thoroughly enjoy a feeling of scarcity.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: It's not like it's not like I'm like looking forward to it, but when it does come I'm just like, oh hey, hey, old friend, do you have a lesson for me?
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Do you have instructions?
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Is there, are you coming to show me something?
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: And that has really helped me to like, i don't know, just bring a level of acceptance for myself, for life, for scarcity, and and go with it from there.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: So I hope this was helpful.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: I hope this gives you some insights on some of the ways that scarcity is actually serving you and that it's not always just all bad.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: you know torturous.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: You know bad juju, negative, that it's.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of lessons that you'll learn in scarcity that are required to have a good relationship in abundance.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: I, i, i, yeah, all right.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: So I hope that was helpful.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: If you thought it was, please share this episode with a friend and please take a moment to review my show on whatever platform you're listening at Spotify or Apple or Stitcher or any of the other places.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: That is how we're growing, it's how we're expanding, it's how we're getting the message out there, and I am on a mission for just to get more money in the hands of good women and to use it skillfully and powerfully.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: So, all right, I hope you learned something.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you and thanks Bye.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: It was my pleasure and joy to talk with you today.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 24:52
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